Beware of Toxicity - Pastor Bruce Mejia

Amen. Okay. We're in Psalm chapter 140 and look down at verse number one.

Psalms 140 · chapter mention

It says deliver me, oh Lord, from the evil man.

Preserve me from the violent man which imagined mischiefs in their heart.

Continually are they gathered together for war.

They have sharpened their tongues like a serpent.

Adder's poison is under their lips.

Sila, and it's not a sermon tonight, is beware of toxicity.

Beware of toxicity.

Toxicity refers to the poison, how poisonous something is,

and of course we know that something that is toxic can often possess properties

that can destroy things, it destroys organisms, it can destroy you.

The Bible says here that there are individuals whose tongues are like serpents,

meaning they're like snakes, they're like adders that possess poison,

they possess venom, and they can destroy you.

They can destroy you in a physical way, of course,

because there's a lot of crazy people out there,

but of course we know that this is also referring to a spiritual way as well.

This evening I want to preach a sermon where I instruct you not only to avoid toxic people,

but also to avoid being a toxic person yourself.

Obviously we as Christians need to avoid toxic individuals and people who are toxic,

but we need to make sure that we're not the toxic person in a relationship as well.

And so have the prudence and wisdom to avoid people who are poisonous,

who can damage us spiritually, who can hinder us in a significant way

in whom the Bible tells us to be aware of.

Just as venom of a serpent or an adder can infect the body

and shut down the organs in like manner, spiritually toxic people

can often do the same to us if we don't avoid them

and avoid being in contact with them.

Let me read you a couple of verses here.

Romans chapter 3 verse 13 says their throat is an open sepulcher

Romans 3:13

with their tongues they have used the seats.

Excuse me.

The poison of asps is under their lips whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.

Their feet are swift as shed blood.

Destruction and misery are in their ways.

And the way of peace have they not known.

There is no fear of God before their eyes.

This is a toxic person right?

They have lips as an adder.

They are swift as shed blood.

They're full of cursing and bitterness.

Their throat is as an open sepulcher.

James chapter 3 verse number 6 says that the tongue is a fire.

James 3 · chapter mention

A world of iniquity so is the tongue among our members

that it defileeth the whole body and seteth on fire the course of nature

and it is set on fire of hell.

Every kind of beast and of birds and of serpents

and of things in the sea is tamed and have been tamed of mankind

but the tongue can no man tame.

It is an unruly evil full of deadly poison.

Notice that a lot of the attributes that are associated with toxic people

has to do with the things that they say.

It has to do with the words that they communicate,

the way people act with their communication,

the things that they say unto you.

They say to me Deuteronomy 32 and verse 33 says that their wine

is the poison of dragons and the cruel venom of asps.

This is basically implying here that wine of course we know to be

in the Bible can refer to alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverages.

If we were to approach this in a non-alcoholic beverage type of context

we could say oh it looks sweet.

It tastes initially good.

It tastes sweet but you know what it is?

It's the poison of dragons.

It's the cruel venom of asps.

Go to Micah chapter 7 if you would.

Micah 7 · chapter mention

Micah chapter 7 and then we're going to go to 2 Samuel chapter 13.

Micah 7 · chapter mention 2 Samuel 13 · chapter mention

Micah chapter 7 and then 2 Samuel chapter 13.

Micah 7 · chapter mention 2 Samuel 13 · chapter mention

Let me make a disclaimer here in this sermon is that

the people I'm going to talk about in this sermon

I'm not referring to Christians who simply need to grow or mature

or lack a sense of self-awareness.

Obviously all of us when we start out,

when we first get saved or babes in Christ

there's a lot of things we've got to work on.

We have a lot of spiritual immaturity.

We lack a lot of discernment

and we come with baggage to the Christian life

and it should be the goal of every Christian

to essentially get rid of the baggage,

go through the process, excuse me my throat is just dry

it's like an open sepulchre.

It should be that we get rid of the baggage,

that we go through the process of sanctification

and not necessarily be associated with the old man per se

but we shed off a lot of that old man

and we come better as the time goes by.

And so the people I'm talking about here

are not Christians who are still growing in their faith

they're still growing in the Lord.

I'm referring to people who are intentionally toxic

and fit the description that I'm going to lay out

to you this evening through the testimonies

of various people in the Bible.

Now I have three points for you this evening

and so after I'm done ripping face

then we're going to play some board games

and we're going to be happy, it's going to be great

and we're going to enjoy ourselves amen.

Here are my three points.

I'm going to talk about toxic family, friends and females.

All F's.

Now the last one is females.

I might address some males but let's just be honest

the Bible actually warns men more about women

than vice versa.

There's more warnings about the strange women in the Bible

than there is warning women about strange men.

So the three points are family, friends and females

all of which can be found in and out of church.

So point number one is beware of toxic family members.

We're talking about people in your family,

your immediate family, maybe even extended family

who are tempting you to sin or would hinder you spiritually.

We need to beware of people like this

in our personalized family.

It can often be the main culprit

in hindering us spiritually.

They sometimes succeed because they know us

for who we really are or who we used to be.

And can often use that as leverage.

You get someone who's newly saved

and you start serving God

and what do you have?

You have family members that see you

making progress in the Christian life.

They see you being sanctified,

going to church, reading the Bible.

What do they do?

They begin to criticize you because of that.

They begin to criticize you

and try to slow you down

and try to bring up your past

and the things that you used to do

and this isn't really you.

These are toxic people that we don't need in our lives.

Sometimes family, because they are close relatives,

they can be far more successful

at tempting us to sin

because they have influence over us.

Maybe family members, you have certain family members

that you used to sin with, did sinful things with

and now you're seeking to live a godly life

and they see that they can often be the main culprits

to come to you and tempt you

to go back into that lifestyle,

go back to that sinful habit

and do things that are displeasing unto the Lord

only because they know they have influence over you.

They're the ones that introduced you

to sin in the first place.

They're the ones who introduced you

to that particular environment to begin with

and to that I say, you know, beware

of the toxic family member in your life

and you may think to yourself,

well, you know, I don't really have a family member

that tries to tempt me to sin

but you might have a family member

that tries to tempt you to become apathetic

towards the things of God.

Meaning, oh, don't be so, you know,

excited about the things of God.

You're doing too much. You're going to church too much.

You're, you know, evangelizing too much.

Oh, now you're wearing dresses all of a sudden.

Oh, now you're wearing a suit all of a sudden.

You know, these are toxic people, okay,

that we need to be aware of.

These are the fire extinguishers, so to speak.

When you're on fire for God,

they try to tame you a little bit.

They try to calm you down

because you're making them look bad

and this is very common with Christians

who have other so-called Christians

as family members.

You know, Christians are just like,

well, I've been a Christian a lot longer than you.

I've been in this thing a lot longer than you

and you're going to tell me

what the Christian life is all about.

You know what it's called? It's called being salt unto them.

Salt irritates people

and so when they view that you kind of,

you're lapping them spiritually speaking,

they don't like that

and they want to slow you down.

Beware of the toxic family member

that is seeking to hinder you spiritually.

Now you might be sitting there thinking,

well, I don't really have anybody like that.

Okay, then ignore me right now, you know.

Don't be that person then, okay?

Let me read to you a couple passages here.

I'm going to read to you from Deuteronomy 13 verse 6.

Deuteronomy 13:6

It says,

If thy brother, the son of thy mother,

or thy son, or thy daughter,

or the wife of thy bosom,

or thy friend, which is as thine own soul,

entice thee secretly,

saying, let us go and serve other gods,

which thou has not known,

thou nor thy fathers,

namely of the gods of the people which are round about you,

nigh unto thee, or far off from thee,

from the one end of the earth,

even unto the end of the earth,

thou shalt not consent unto him,

nor hearken unto him,

neither shalt thou I pity him,

neither shalt thou spare,

neither shalt thou conceal him.

What is the Bible telling us here?

Don't be a respecter of people

when it comes to your own family members

who are trying to cause you to sin,

deviate from the things of God,

get out of church,

or go to some other false religion.

You need to make sure that your loyalty lies

with the Lord Jesus Christ.

You're like, oh man,

but how is that going to work in my marriage?

Well, you know what?

The reality is sometimes Jesus Christ

causes division in your marriage.

And you know what?

We're to choose Christ even over our own spouse.

Yes, that's correct.

Look at Micah 7 verse 5.

Micah 7:5

It says, trust ye not in a friend.

Micah 7 verse 5.

Micah 7:5

Trust ye not in a friend.

Put ye not confidence in a guide.

Keep the doors of thy mouth

from her that lieeth in thy bosom.

For the son dishonoreth the father,

the daughter riseeth up against her mother.

The daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

And a man's enemies are the men of his own house.

Of course, we know that this is reiterated

in the New Testament by Jesus Christ

in Matthew chapter 10

Matthew 10 · chapter mention

in the context of end times.

But we see that even today, right?

And let me just remind you, you know,

if you have the liberty to cut off

toxic family members from your life,

then do it.

You know, if there's people in your life

that you've invited into your life

that are criticizing the things of God,

criticizing your leadership,

they're criticizing your stance on certain things,

and you're choosing to keep them in your life,

you should cut them off immediately.

I would that they were cut off, right?

Them that trouble you.

And that goes for adult children as well.

You know, if there's an adult child,

you know, that you have in your life

and they are mocking the things of God,

they don't respect your leadership,

they're disrespecting you, cut them off!

Remove them completely.

You say, why?

Well, number one,

because you don't want that toxic relationship

in your life, but number two,

let me also say this,

they can often poison the other children

to also have that same disposition towards you.

So in order to prevent that leaven

from spreading that toxicity

from spreading in the family,

you need to make sure you cut people off like that.

Okay?

You know, adult children that are involved in sin,

they're involved in iniquity,

they've been excommunicated from a church,

they're involved in things they shouldn't be doing,

you know, you should remove from people like that

from your personal lives

because you're a Christian

and you need to practice

ecclesiastical separation from them,

removing toxic people from them.

Don't make exceptions for people

just because they're your family members.

Now, look, obviously,

you might be in a situation where you can't control that.

You might be in a situation where your mom and your dad

are involved in a particular sin

and you know what?

You can't really do anything about that.

You can't move away,

you can't rebuke them

because they're paying the bills.

Here's what you could do,

grow up, get married and move out.

If you're in that situation,

there's nothing you can do.

Okay?

Sorry, that's just,

that's your law and life

until you become desirable

to some human being in this world

and they would want to marry you

and then you can live happily ever after,

thereafter, okay?

Look at 2 Samuel 13.

Let's look at an example

of toxic family members.

Let's look at Amnon and Jonadab, okay?

2 Samuel 13 verse 1 says,

2 Samuel 13:1

And it came to pass after this

that Absalom, the son of David,

had a fair sister

whose name was Tamar

and Amnon, the son of David,

loved her.

Amnon was so vexed

that he fell sick for his sister Tamar

for she was a virgin

and Amnon thought it hard for him

to do anything to her.

Now this is weird.

Okay, it's super weird.

You know, I don't know what's up with this dude, okay?

You know, this guy has a major crush

on his half-sister Tamar

and the Bible says in verse 2

that he's fallen sick for her,

meaning that he's just kind of like,

he's become just obsessed over her.

He has this inordinate affection

towards his sister

and, you know, he's struggling

with these thoughts

and he's struggling with these emotions

and he's finding it hard to do anything to her

because he knows that it would be wrong

to do so, right?

So, you know, if we were to just take

this one part of the equation,

this one variable out of the equation

like it was her sister,

we can say like maybe there's people

in this world that exist like that.

You know, a young man

can fall in love with a woman

and he can become like overly obsessed

with her and all this stuff.

You know, these are natural emotions

that people can experience

and they kind of need to work through them, right?

They kind of need to like let it die out

and pray through it if you're a Christian

and not allow those things to consume you, okay?

And then later on down the road,

you grow up and you mature in your faith

and you know, you just kind of get over it

and you're just like, that was kind of stupid

that I felt that way, you know?

I wasn't really in love, I guess.

I was just kind of feeling that way, you know?

Because young people just kind of act dumb sometimes, right?

They just are easily enveloped

in this fantasy world in their mind

towards an individual and then they can feel that way.

So, you know, it's kind of natural

that he felt this way.

Obviously, it's weird that it was towards his sister,

but let's just ignore that part

just for the sake of the story, all right?

You know, for the sake of the principle.

So, you know, it would have been good if he just, you know,

okay, he's struggling.

He probably would have gotten over it later on

and he is the king's son.

He would have met some girl.

It would have been great

and, you know, he could have just kept us to himself

and not being embarrassed for the last, you know,

4,000 years, 3,000 years

over the fact that he had a crush on his sister, okay?

But here's the problem.

Look at verse 3.

Amnon had a friend.

Now, this friend is his cousin.

His family.

So it says,

But Amnon had a friend whose name was John Adab,

the son of Shimea,

David's brother,

and John Adab was a very subtle man.

So if the story ended in verse 2,

it would have been great

and I'm sure we would have seen Amnon living later on.

But the problem is he had a toxic family member

by the name of John Adab, okay?

And the Bible's telling us here

that he's a very subtle man.

Now, there's a reason the Bible's using this terminology

is because of the fact that it's trying to help us

to realize that he kind of,

he kind of pictures Satan here, right?

Satan in the serpent in Genesis 3

was more subtle than all the beasts of the field.

And we see that the cousin here, John Adab,

is a very subtle man.

So obviously the Bible's giving us this picture

that he is very cunning.

He's being introduced as like,

okay, what's this guy all about?

What's he gonna do here?

Verse 4.

And he said to him,

Why art thou, being the king's son,

lean from day to day?

Well, don't not tell me.

Let me just say this.

Beware of who you divulge your emotions to, okay?

You need to be careful who you divulge

your innermost emotional thoughts to.

You know, sometimes we just gotta let it out, right?

You know, sometimes we just,

and it's good for you to have someone

that you can confide in, you know,

like a godly person that you know

will not be a tail bearer,

someone who's trustworthy, someone who's mature.

But don't choose like 10 of them though.

I would even choose five of them.

I'd choose maybe like one or two, if that.

And you know, you should have someone like that.

But you gotta be careful who you talk to

because sometimes people just wanna hear your drama

just so they can use it against you later on.

Or even like in this case, at the very moment.

So he's like, why aren't you telling me what's wrong, man?

And Amnon said to him,

I love Tamar, my brother, absolute sister.

Now if Jonathan was a righteous person,

he'd be like, that's weird, bro.

Have you told anybody else about this?

Okay, good, don't tell anybody else.

Let's find you another woman in this kingdom.

You're the king's son.

Like your sister, really?

That's gross, right?

That's what a righteous family member would have done.

Okay?

Now if you have a family member

that admonishes you in a very spiritual,

righteous way, praise God for that.

That's great.

If you have someone that you can share your heart with,

maybe it is a cousin or a brother or a sister,

and they give you good scriptural advice,

they encourage you in a righteous way,

that's awesome.

You know, to have someone you can share your heart with

and they're just like, you know what,

these emotions are normal,

but don't tell anybody.

You need to make sure that you just get over this

and I'm gonna be there to help you,

hold you accountable to this, you know,

and you need to make sure you marry righteously.

This is not God's will.

It's not a natural thing for you

to want to, you know, give in to.

You know, that would have been the right answer.

But instead, what does John the Dab do?

He basically helps him to construct the plan

to rape the sister.

Verse five says in John the Dab said to him,

lay thee down on thy bed, make thyself sick,

and when thy father cometh to see thee,

say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come

and give me meat and dress the meat of my sight,

that I may see it and eat at her hand.

So Amnon lay down, made himself sick,

and when the king was come to see him,

Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar,

my sister come and make me a couple of cakes

in my sight that I may eat at her hand.

So instead of, you know,

admonishing them, correcting him, rebuking him,

what does he do?

He's just like, I got a plan for you.

You know, why don't you fake like you're sick,

request for her to take care of you,

and the implication there is like,

then you can do whatever it is that you want to do.

It's godless, wicked, okay?

This is a toxic cousin here.

Look at verse seven.

So you know, he requests for this.

Verse seven says then David sent home to Tamar saying,

go now to thy brother Amnon's house,

dress him meat.

So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house

and he was laid down,

and she took flour, needed it,

and so forth.

Skip down to verse number.

Let's see here.

Look at verse 11.

And when she had brought them unto him to eat,

he took hold of her and said unto her,

come lie with me, my sister.

Like bro, my sister, like,

does that just seem weird?

And she answered him,

name my brother, do not force me

for no such thing ought to be done in Israel.

Do not thou this folly,

and I withers shall I cause my shame to go.

And as for thee, thou shalt be

as one of the fools in Israel.

Now therefore I pray thee,

speaking to the king,

for he will not withhold thee,

hold me from thee.

So you know, Tamar is just like,

hey, at least go about this the right way

if this is what you want.

Request the king to allow you

to marry me and vice versa,

and he's not going to stop you.

Why are you going to do it this way?

Why are you going to rape this woman

in order to satiate this desire?

Verse 14, Habib,

he would not harken unto her voice,

but being stronger than she,

forced her and lay with her.

Then Amnon hated her exceedingly,

so that the hatred with he hated her

was greater than the love with he had loved her.

And Amnon said unto her,

arise, be gone.

And so it's that story,

and of course we know that

Amnon ended up dying because of this.

Absalom ends up murdering

Amnon because of it,

and a lot of family drama

arose because of this particular sin.

But who's the one who's behind all this?

It was the toxic cousin.

It was the toxic cousin

who gave Amnon bad advice.

He helped him to construct the plan

to rape his sister

thereby causing Tamar to be raped,

thereby causing Amnon to lose his life,

thereby causing Absalom

to become bitter towards Amnon,

towards his father,

and essentially disrupting the kingdom.

Why? Because there was a toxic family member

involved.

You better be aware

of that toxic family member

that you have in your life.

The one who manipulates you,

the one who is just

constantly putting you down

because you're a Christian,

you're trying to serve your husband,

you're trying to love your wife,

you're trying to raise your kids

in a godly manner,

and they're just constantly talking down on you,

constantly putting down in your mind,

constantly questioning the Word of God,

constantly giving you bad advice.

Get away from people like that.

And, you know, once Amnon dies,

you know who's the one

who basically tells David what happened?

It's Jonadad.

You know what? That's what Satan does.

He tempts you to sin

and then he accuses you to the father, right?

Like, oh, look what he did, you know?

He's there to see your downfall, okay?

Jonadad provokes Amnon to sin.

He planted the seeds in the mind of Amnon

to commit this grievous sin,

and he's there to see the outcome

and essentially he's not affected by it at all.

Go to 1 Kings chapter 21.

1 Kings 21 · chapter mention

1 Kings chapter 21, if you would.

1 Kings 21 · chapter mention

1 Kings chapter 21.

1 Kings 21 · chapter mention

You know, beware of the aunt,

you know, who's highly esteemed in your family

as being the one who gives all the best advice.

Beware of the uncle,

especially the uncle, okay?

You know, beware of the cousins,

beware of the brother.

We need to make sure that we're not a respecter of people

and say, well, they're my family

and so, you know, blood is thickening in water.

Okay, if you want to go by that philosophy

that blood is thickening in water,

the blood of Christ is thickening in that.

We need to realize that the family that we should esteem

are those who actually serve God

and obey the word of God, okay?

Not at the exclusion at providing

for our family members, okay?

If they're under our household,

they're under our jurisdiction.

I'm just saying, don't just choose a family member

based upon blood when they're out here

blaspheming the Lord and giving you bad advice

and trying to lead you astray in an intentional way.

You know, criticizing your spouse,

constantly putting down your husband,

putting down your wife, you know, folks,

you better make sure you defend your spouse

to the people criticizing them.

You better defend your spouse, you know,

to your mother or your father.

If your mom is saying stuff about your spouse,

you better stand up for your spouse

and be like, hey, watch your mouth.

You don't talk that way about my wife, okay?

You know, you don't talk that way about my wife,

you don't talk that way about my kids.

That's not, we don't do that here.

And you know what?

If they apologize and never do it again, it's good.

But if they keep doing it,

be like, don't ever come around.

I'm not gonna tolerate people

blasting my wife,

you shouldn't tolerate people blasting your husband,

you know, gossiping about them,

putting them down, talking trash about them.

Where's your loyalty?

Your loyalty should be to your spouse

and to your children, amen?

So I don't, and you know,

there's been times in my personal life

where I've literally cut off blood relatives

because they criticize my spouse.

Which I don't even know how you can criticize my wife.

She like never talks.

She's just there, you know?

But I remember a family member criticizing my wife,

trying to use the situation

and trying to manipulate a situation.

And I said, like, I will never talk to you ever again.

And I blocked that person

and you know, when family members came,

they were like, hey, what's going on?

I don't know, I'm not interested.

Until that person comes and apologizes

for what they said against my wife,

I'm not interested in talking to that person.

I don't care if I grew up with this person,

if I've known them my entire life,

my loyalty is to my wife.

And so, you know,

get away from toxic family members

who undermine your authority,

who undermine your husband's authority,

who, you know,

are constantly criticizing the way you do things.

Oh, you homeschool.

What are you guys doing that for?

Oh man, oh, that's why you do this.

Why are you wearing dresses?

You shouldn't be wearing dresses.

Don't let them tell you what to do.

You know, just, girl, just stand up for yourself.

Girl, you're in your prime, girl.

You know, if I walked in

in a conversation like that,

you know,

you guys know jazz from French Prince of Bel Air?

You know, every time you get thrown out,

it's like, ah, you just get thrown out.

Why? Because first and foremost,

obviously our loyalty is towards the Lord Jesus Christ,

but also towards those

who He's placed in our lives,

such as our spouse, our children.

Bible tells us in Luke chapter 14,

Luke 14 · chapter mention

in verse 26,

This is not saying that our loyalty to Jesus Christ

should be hatred towards our relatives,

towards our spouse.

It's saying that our loyalty should almost seem

as though it's hatred towards others,

because we love the Lord

and we're loyal to Him

and we're going to choose Him above everyone else.

Let me read to you another scripture

before we get into First Kings.

Actually, let's skip First Kings.

Go to Matthew 12.

Matthew chapter 12.

Matthew 12 · chapter mention

I was going to use First Kings to talk about the fact that,

you know, we need to make sure

we stay away from family members

that are enablers.

Okay?

You know, don't raise your family

in an environment of enablers.

You know, if there's someone in your family

that's committing grievous sins and they know that,

you know, we should not be participating

in enabling them in that sin.

Okay?

We should still exercise First Corinthians chapter 5

1 Corinthians 5 · chapter mention

and cut that person off from our life

until they decide to repent

and not make exceptions for these individuals.

Okay?

You know, and you have people,

like, for example, Jezebel,

said that she stirred up Ahab

to commit these sins.

And let me read to you Jeremiah 23 verse 14.

Jeremiah 23:14

It says,

And we don't want to be guilty of that.

We don't want to be guilty

of strengthening the hands of sinful people.

If you have someone in your family

who's a Christian and they're committing fornication,

that needs to be cut off and they know that it's wrong.

They know they need to repent

and they're unwilling to do so.

You should have the integrity to cut that person off.

That's a toxic individual.

That's leaven that will leaven the whole lump.

And you know, you're providing a bad example

for your children by tolerating that sin.

You got to think about it, folks.

It's not just loyalty to principle.

Loyalty to Jesus Christ.

It also just sets a bad example to your children.

Because your children is like,

oh, yeah, we're against fortification.

Oh, mom and dad, but how come you're cool with it

when it comes to, you know, auntie and uncle

and, you know, a cousin, so and so.

But it's okay with them.

They're Christians. They're doing it.

You seem to tolerate that.

That's called being a respecter of people.

You're a compromiser if that's you.

You know, we need to make sure

that we remove ourselves from toxic individuals.

Look at Matthew 12, verse 46.

Matthew 12:46

It says here, while he yet talked to the people

referring to Jesus,

behold, his mother and his brethren

stood without desiring to speak with him.

Then one said that to him,

behold, thy mother and thy brethren

stand without desiring to speak with thee.

This is what Jesus said.

Oh, the blessed mother.

Everyone move out of the way.

This is the reason you guys are not

going to get saved.

It's because of the blessed holy mother.

Eh.

Verse 48.

But he answered to him

that told him, who is my mother

and who are my brethren?

Man, talk about a diss.

Who?

Your mom and your brother

stand without, who?

Who's my mother and who are my brethren?

And he stretched forth his hand

toward his disciples and said, behold,

my mother and my brethren, for whose service shall

I do the will of my father which is in heaven,

the same as my brother and sister and mother.

You know what this demonstrates to me?

It demonstrates that God expects us to be loyal

to those who do the will of God

and not to be a respecter of people

to blood relatives just because they're blood relatives.

You know, if you have a relative

that is a complete drunkard,

they're a drug addict, you need to cut

that person off from your life.

Well, we kind of grew up together

and we just know each other.

Yeah, you're being a bad testimony

to him and to everyone around you

by tolerating that.

You're being a bad testimony to your kids

because they're seeing that you're still buddy buddies

with someone who's a pot smoker.

They're a drunkard. They're a drug addict.

They're compromising the word of God.

We need to make sure that we get rid of,

listen to this, toxic family members.

Okay?

You know, and again,

you might think to yourself, well, all my family members are here.

Well, good for you.

Praise God for that.

That's what I have too. My family's in church.

I'm just talking to those of us who may not have

all our family in church, okay?

And I'm here to remind you

that God still expects us

to practice biblical separation

from people who are involved in sin.

They're called a brother,

but they're a fornicator.

They're a drunkard. They're a railer.

They're an extortionist. They're an idolater.

The Bible says, with such a one, no, not to eat.

Why? Because they're toxic.

It's leaven. It can spread.

It can corrupt you.

Go to 1 Kings chapter 12.

1 Kings 12 · chapter mention

1 Kings chapter 12, if you would.

1 Kings 12 · chapter mention

1 Kings chapter 12.

1 Kings 12 · chapter mention

What's the title of the sermon?

The title of the sermon is Beware of Toxicity.

You got to beware of toxic family members

who are trying to hinder you.

They criticize you.

And let me say this, you know,

I believe that we need to honor our parents.

Okay?

We need to make sure we honor them, right?

Loving honor our parents.

But, if you are a father,

if you are a mother of children,

yes, you're obligated to honor your parents,

but not beyond the scope

and the boundaries of the Word of God.

Meaning that if your parents

are criticizing the things of God,

especially in front of your children,

don't tolerate that.

Don't tolerate it.

You know, criticizing your parenting,

criticizing the way you do things,

don't put up with it.

You know, it's a privilege

to allow our parents

to be involved in our lives.

It's a privilege for us, but it's also a privilege for them.

Because you know,

grandparents love their grandkids, right?

Well, if they want to maintain that privilege,

they need to do it on our terms.

It's the way it works.

Okay?

Don't be a little compromiser

and just, well, you know,

when Nana's around,

when Pawpaw's around,

then it's a little different.

We need to talk. No.

They need to abide by scripture rules

that you have in your home.

They need to respect your authority.

And don't allow anybody who just come into your house

and undermine your scripture authority

in front of your kids, especially.

You don't have to do that.

And look, don't encourage that.

Don't allow that.

Don't allow your mom and dad

to not only undermine your authority

to your kids,

but also to try to teach them to lie,

to try to teach them to

adopt wicked habits

against your authority.

That's wrong. It's wicked. It's toxic.

There's nothing wrong with saying, hey,

if you do that again,

you're not going to see these kids ever again.

Because this is a Christian home.

We're not going to teach our kids

to be rebellious against us,

to normalize lying

to their parents

and withholding information

because you're telling them to do so.

That's wrong.

Beware of toxic family.

Point number two,

beware of toxic friends.

You need to watch out

for people who claim to be friends,

but they're inwardly

want your downfall or something.

Toxic people.

And look, there's people out there like this.

I'm just telling you right now.

You're like, why I got so many friends on Facebook?

They're not your friends.

These are frenemies

in a lot of instances.

You need to watch out for friends

even if they're Christians.

Because Christians can often

also be guilty of envy,

covetousness,

feeling a sense of

strife and emulation

within themselves against you.

Obviously, the Bible tells us

to show ourselves friendly,

to be a friend to all,

but we need to make sure we choose

our close friends carefully

and not, you know,

choose people who inwardly

don't really like us.

And that is the real thing.

Now, what's a good example of this?

When I'm talking about toxic friends,

I'm talking about friends

who claim to support you

or want to give you advice,

but they always give you bad advice

so the outcome does not come out

in your favor.

People like that.

Look at 1 Kings 12 verse 1.

1 Kings 12:1

And he said,

and he said unto him, depart yet for three days,

then come again to me,

and the people depart.

And King Rehoboam consulted with the old men

that stood before Solomon his father

while he had lived and said,

how do you advise that I may answer this people?

So he's like, you know,

this guy's willing to just kind of give me

the reins to the leadership.

All he's saying is that we need to make sure

we're a little nicer than my dad.

My dad was pretty strict.

He kind of ruled with an iron fist.

And so what do you advise that I do?

They speak unto him saying verse 7,

if that will be a servant unto this people this day

and will serve them and answer them

and speak good words to them,

then they will be thy servants forever.

Now, this is not the sermon,

but verse 7 gives a lot of good things there, right?

There's a lot of good advice.

In fact, these are New Testament principles that we see, right?

Being a servant, speaking good words to them.

He says they'll be your servants forever.

If you just behave yourself wisely to these people,

they'll serve you, okay?

Verse 8,

but he forsook the counsel of the old men

which they had given him

and consulted with the young men that were grown up with him

which stood before him.

And he said unto them,

what counsel give ye that we may answer this people

who have spoken to me saying,

make the yoke which thy father did put upon us lighter?

And the young men that were grown up with him

spake unto them saying,

thou shalt thou speak unto this people that spake unto thee same?

Thy father made our yoke heavy,

but make thou it lighter unto us,

thou shalt say unto them,

my little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins.

He's like, man, you need to stand up for yourself

and say, you think my dad was bad?

Man, I'm going to be worse.

You know, I'm going to whoop you.

My little finger's going to be thicker than that.

Then his loins,

he's basically saying like you didn't see nothing yet.

Now whereas my father did laid you with heavy yoke,

I will add to your yoke,

my father had chastised you with whips,

but I would chastise you with scorpions.

Good night.

Jeroboam and all the people came to Jeroboam the third day

as the king had appointed same,

come to me again the third day and so forth.

And of course he tells them this.

Now obviously this ended up causing the split of the kingdom

because of this bad advice.

Now we obviously know that this is of the Lord,

but it also demonstrates

that these people who are giving this advice

didn't necessarily have the kingdom

in its best interest.

It wasn't necessarily looking to see,

okay, what's the best outcome that we can provide here?

What's the best solution?

They're just like, you need to just

tell them how it is.

You just need to tell the truth.

You just need to make sure that you just stand your ground,

but it wasn't necessarily a wise answer

and it caused the kingdom to be split.

Now what is the principle that we can learn here

when it comes to friendship?

We need to make sure first and foremost

that we pick our friends wisely

and then also just because they're your friends

doesn't mean you need advice from them.

You don't need advice from every friend.

Why?

Because most of the time your contemporaries,

they're pretty dumb.

And sometimes they're as dumb as you.

Okay?

Amen?

Sometimes they just got bad advice.

They just kind of come up with it on a whim.

You know, go to the old men.

Go to the people who have experience.

You know, they don't got a dog in the fight.

They don't necessarily have anything to prove.

They have your best interest in mind.

You know, sometimes your contemporaries,

they're just bad influences.

And look, I'm not saying don't have friends,

but I'm just saying your closest friend

that is like your age

doesn't always have the best advice.

Okay?

And so, you know, you need to be careful

that you don't have certain friends around you

that are toxic.

Because let me just say this.

There's sometimes that there are friends around you

that will advise you because they know

that's a bad decision.

They want you to make that bad decision

because they want to look good

in comparison to you.

And you need to be aware of that.

Does that really exist?

Yes, that exists.

There's some dudes out there that are just toxic.

There's friends out there that are just toxic.

You know, there's people out there

that, you know, they don't really care about you.

Okay?

They will flatter you.

They will lie to your face

because they don't really care.

You know, I prefer the friend who tells me I'm fat

and says, yeah, you know, you're a bit overweight

and you got to, you know, work on that or whatever.

And instead of like, oh, you look great, man.

Take off your shirt, bro.

You're jacked, bro.

Just straight causing delusions, you know?

You think it's cool if I take off?

Just do it, bro.

You're more jacked than me.

And then everyone's just like,

because you just look disgusting.

But you know, there's toxic people out there

that will lie to you like that.

Just because they want to embarrass you,

you know what I mean?

They want your downfall.

You need to make sure that you have

the right people around you.

And look, it's good to have friends

that challenge each other,

but don't necessarily keep friends around you

that are constantly competing with you, though.

Meaning that like,

and look, if you're competing with your friend,

it's like a healthy competition where they want you to succeed

and, you know, you want them to succeed

and you guys kind of, you know, iron sharpen it, iron.

That's one thing.

But then there are other friends out there

who are just toxic who compete with you

because they don't want you to succeed.

They want to be better than you.

You know what, they want to gloat of their success.

They want to brag about their success to you.

That's a toxic friend.

And look, if you're that friend

and people are talking about their success to you,

praise them for it.

Rejoice with them.

They rejoice.

Be happy for them.

Don't have emulation.

Don't have strife.

Don't have envy in your heart for them.

Rejoice in that matter.

But you know what, if there's people

who are constantly bragging to you about that,

they're constantly saying stuff like that

and you might have this indication like,

I think this person is just kind of like doing this

to kind of put me down.

You know what I mean?

Then it's time to just fellowship with someone else.

It's time to find a new friend, okay?

And look, you know, in our church,

you don't have to be best friends with everyone, okay?

You know, we have to be diplomatic.

We have to be friendly.

But we don't have to be best friends with everyone.

We don't have to hang out with everyone.

We just have to be good Christians with one another, right?

You know, there's people in our church

who I'm very friendly with

and we get along great,

but we're not best friends or anything

and it's not bad.

It's just normal.

It's not bad, right?

Jerry and I, you know, he's my church member.

I enjoy his company,

but him and I aren't necessarily best friends, right?

I don't think we are.

If you think we are, sorry man.

You know, we're not best friends, okay?

Now I'm just kidding.

We're good friends

and I'm like that with a lot of church friends.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Don't think, oh, just because they're in our church,

we have to be the closest of friends or something.

No, because there's other people

that just click with other people

more than others do with others.

So we just got to realize that, you know,

you need to choose your friends wisely.

When I say friends,

I mean it as in those you can fight in,

those that provoke you unto love

and to good works,

those who like don't want your downfall.

And you know what?

If this person has a track record

of just constantly putting you down,

constantly mocking your success,

constantly just, you know,

bragging about their success

in order to make you look like a complete loser,

then it's time to go fellowship with someone else.

What do I tell them?

Don't tell them anything.

Just ghost that fool.

Just when you see them,

go talk to someone else.

Just go talk to someone else

and be like, hey, it's good to see you, hey.

And just like, you know,

find someone that you're, you know,

just call someone out or something.

That's what you need to do.

Okay?

And so you're like,

how do I know if I have a toxic friend?

What kind of advice do they give you?

The advice they give you,

has it actually helped you?

Has it made you a better Christian?

Has it helped you in your endeavors

to become successful at your job

and your spiritual life?

If you feel like every single piece of advice you get,

you just go down the drain,

down the toilet,

you know, first of all,

it's time to just find someone

new to get advice from.

Okay?

Walk not in the counsel of the ungodly,

the Bible says.

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 12

you don't have to turn there.

Go with me if you would.

Go to Judges 16.

Judges chapter 16.

Judges 16 · chapter mention

Proverbs 12 verse 5 says this,

Proverbs 12:5

the thoughts of the righteous are right,

but the counsels of the wicked are deceit.

Proverbs 14 verse 7 says,

Proverbs 14:7

go from the presence of a foolish man

when thou perceiveest not in him

the lips of knowledge.

And look, if you keep going back to that friend

after that friend has been a piece of crap,

that's your fault.

You got no one else to blame but yourself.

Okay?

You just like having toxic people around you.

And so, you know,

the Bible says also in Proverbs 19 verse 27,

Proverbs 19:27

cease my son to hear the instructions

that causeth to err from the words of knowledge.

Confidence in an unfaithful man,

Proverbs 25 verse 19,

Proverbs 25:19

in a time of troubles like a broken tooth

and a foot out of joint.

You see, a good friend, the Bible says,

loveth at all times.

If you're down in the dumps,

you know what a good friend does,

tries to pick you up.

You know, if you're on the brink of quitting,

a good friend will tell you to keep going forward.

Not aid you in getting out of church.

Right?

It's not someone who's just like,

yeah, just give up.

It's over with.

I saw it real like that is super funny,

but you know, give up.

Someone's got to stay behind and tell a story.

Not everyone's going to make it.

You know what I mean?

Go back, gather your thoughts.

Go back to the drawing board.

But you know, a good friend is someone

who is born for adversity.

A good friend recognizes that his friend

is struggling and tries to come up

with every single possible solution

to keep that guy in the fight.

Keep that guy in church, right?

That's what a good friend does.

A good friend doesn't brag about

how good of a friend he is.

He just actually gives his friend

good advice to keep him in the fight.

You know, he loved it at all times.

Proverbs 18 verse 24 says,

Proverbs 18:24

A man to have friends must show himself friendly,

and there is a friend to stick it closer

than a brother, the Bible says.

Okay?

Proverbs 27 verse 9 says,

Proverbs 27:9

Oitman in perfume rejoiced the heart,

so doth the sweetness of a man's friend

by hearty counsel.

You got a sweet friend?

He should give sweet counsel.

You know, if you're discouraged,

you want to throw on the towel,

and you tell your friend,

and he's just like, yeah,

you should quit, for sure.

Go to a different church, yeah.

That's probably what you should do.

That's not sweet counsel.

That's bad advice.

And let me just say this,

if there's anyone who's struggling in our church

to stay in church,

you better never give that advice.

Or you're going to quit anyway,

so you might as well just get going or something.

That's wicked.

That's godless.

You're a horrible, horrible friend.

You're a toxic friend if that's you.

I just didn't think they were going to make it.

You know what?

You're not going to make it then,

because you're such a toxic friend.

You're such a toxic friend

that you have no faith in people.

You're not willing to provoke them to love

and to good works,

and you're just discouraging them

from continuing in the faith.

That's godless.

I want people to remain in church

and just fight through tribulation,

fight through anguish,

fight through depression,

and not throw in the towel.

Okay?

How about this?

Greater love has no man than this

that a man laid down his life for his friends.

You know, a good friend

will do everything possible

to keep his friend in the fight.

He will admonish him,

create solutions.

He will try to pray for him.

He will do everything possible

to make that person not faint in his mind.

Okay?

Beware of toxic friends.

Beware of toxic family members.

And lastly, number three,

beware of toxic females.

You know, the Bible gives us more explicit warnings

against women for men

than it does men for women.

That's true.

Like, why do you say females?

There's toxic males out there, too.

We're not talking about them.

And the Bible doesn't emphasize that a whole lot.

Okay?

The Bible emphasizes a lot

when it comes to toxic females, though.

A lot.

I mean, the entire book of Proverbs.

You want to debate that with me?

See me after the debate?

We can talk about it if you want.

In fact, you know, let's look at this.

You know, what do you mean by toxic females?

Destructive, godless women

that can just destroy your life.

That's a real thing.

Okay?

And you know what?

The Manisphere is one of the faggliest movements ever.

But sometimes it's rooted in

just their experience with toxic females.

And unfortunately, they just paint women

with the broad brush

and say, like, all women are bad.

We know that's not true

because those of us who are married

we got ourselves a good woman, amen?

But, you know,

they've had experiences with people like this

and it is true.

It's a real thing.

Okay?

Now let's look at an example of a toxic woman.

We're not even talking about Jezebel.

I mean, that's super toxic.

Alright?

Never name your daughter Jezebel.

Let's look at another one, okay?

Never name your daughter Jezebel or Delilah.

Okay, just kidding.

Look at Judges 16, verse 4.

Judges 16:4

And it came to pass afterward

that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek

whose name was Delilah.

The lords of the Philistines came up

unto her and said unto her,

entice him and see where in his great strength lieth

and by what means we may prevail against him

that we may bind him to afflict him

and we will give thee every one of us

eleven hundred pieces of silver.

So, they hired Delilah, you know,

and Samson, you know, he's an idiot.

He's just, you know, he's a fornicator.

He's backslidden and he's just like,

he's head over heels over this woman.

But this woman wants his downfall.

This woman is just a toxic woman.

Delilah said to Samson,

tell me I pray thee wherein thy great strength lieth

wherewith thou mightest be bound to afflict thee

and Samson said unto her,

if they bind me with seven green widths

that were never dried,

then shall I be weak and be as other men,

another man.

Then the lords of the Philistines brought up to her

seven green widths which had not been dried

and she bound him with them.

Now, let me tell you how stupid Samson is.

He tells her this and then she does it.

And, you know, at that point you'd be like,

why are you doing this?

If I told you this is my weakness.

But he's just like, he doesn't even see it.

Love is blind, you know.

Verse 9 says,

now there were men lying in wait

abiding with her in the chamber

and she sentenced him.

The Philistines be upon thee Samson

and he break the widths as a thread of toe

is broken when it touched the fire

so his strength was not known.

Delilah sentenced Samson.

Behold, thou has mocked me and told me lies.

This is a manipulator right here

because she's mocking him

in lying to him, right?

Now tell me,

I pray thee, wherewith thou mightest be bound.

Now, you know, Samson will be like,

no, I don't think I will.

Because I told you and then you actually like did that.

But he's just an idiot.

He is an idiot.

Can I get a witness, right? Amen?

It's like, bro, what are you doing?

Okay.

Verse 11, he said,

if they bind me fast with new robes

that never were occupied,

then shall I be weak and be as another man.

Delilah therefore took new robes,

bound him therewith and sentenced him.

The Philistines be upon thee, Samson.

And there were liars and weight abiding in the chamber

and he break them from off his arms like a thread.

And Delilah sentenced Samson.

Hitherto thou has mocked me and told me lies.

Tell me wherewith thou mightest be bound.

And he said unto her,

if thou weaves the seven locks of my head with the web

and she fastened it with the pen,

so foreskip down to verse 15.

And she sentenced him.

How can thou say I love thee

when thine heart is not with me?

It's like, woman,

you literally try to get me merked.

You almost got me killed.

I told you where my strength lied

and you try to do that.

And you're saying that I don't love you,

but he's, you know,

bro is just a weakling, okay?

How can thou say I love thee

when thine heart is not with me?

Thou has mocked me these three times

and has not told me where in that great strength lieeth.

And it came to pass when she pressed him daily

with her words and urged him

so that his soul was vexed unto death,

that he told her all his heart and said unto her,

there hath not come a razor upon my head

for I have been a Nazarene unto God

for my mother's womb.

If I be shaven, then my strength will go for me

and I shall be weak and be like any other man.

So he's like, all right, leave me alone.

You're nagging me.

Because she's just constantly telling him, constantly telling him,

he's like fine, you know, if I shave off my head

then my strength will go for him.

It's like, what are you thinking?

You know, he didn't have a friend.

They can tell him like,

hey bro, I think she's trying to kill you.

Hey bro, I'm not envious at all, okay?

I'm not trying to put you down or anything like that.

But she's trying to kill you.

Like I don't know how you don't see this right now, you know?

And he doesn't.

But you know, a lot of young men are like this though.

Okay, even today.

And when Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, verse 18,

she's sending calls for the Lord's of the Philistines,

saying, come up this once, for he had showed me all his heart.

Then the Lord's of the Philistines came up unto her,

brought money in her hand,

and she made him sleep upon her knees,

and she called for a man,

and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head,

and she began to afflict him,

and his strength went from him.

And she said, the Philistines be upon these Samson,

and he awoke out of his sleep,

and said, I will go out as other times before,

and shake myself,

and he wist not that the Lord was departed from him,

and we know exactly how the story ends.

His eyes are gouged out.

He is grinding the mill like a beast,

and of course he ends up committing suicide thereafter.

Okay?

What does this show us?

Young men, beware of toxic females.

Okay?

This is important, because again,

this is a real thing, you know?

And in fact, it's so real

that there's a movie that came out recently.

It's a movie called Obsession.

Okay?

Now, let me just say this.

I don't recommend anybody to watch that stupid godless movie.

And if you've already watched it,

it obviously doesn't apply to you now.

You know?

But after this, you shouldn't watch it again.

All right?

It is a stupid godless movie,

and, you know, let me just give you a synopsis

of what the movie's about.

Spoiler alert on this, okay?

And most of you are like,

I already know what it is about.

I saw it already.

Now, I've never seen the movie.

I feel like I have only because there's so many reels

on Instagram that show a lot of scenes,

and I feel like I've seen enough

that I know what the movie's about.

But this is basically what it is, okay?

The story follows a guy named Bear.

What kind of name is that?

Who is just madly in love

with his longtime friend, Nikki, okay?

So this guy, he's like the Amnon dude, okay?

He's like sick over this girl, Nikki, okay?

You old folks, just ignore me right now.

You're just like, what kind of, you know,

this is horror, by the way.

It was like a horror movie.

Horror movie for me back in the day

was like Freddy Krueger, right?

It was like Jason, Hellraiser, Freddy Krueger.

Now it's just like a relationship.

It's just like horror.

It's like the scariest thing is to be involved

in a crazy relationship.

Man.

So he's so desperate, okay?

To have this girl love him,

that he has to use this mysterious object

called the One Wish Willow, okay?

It's like a stick that he finds at some weird store.

And basically, like, he breaks it

and he wishes for this girl, Nikki,

to just fall madly in love with him, okay?

And she does, okay?

And, you know, at first, everything's working out,

but then her affection becomes, like, extreme and dangerous.

You know, like, she starts killing people and stuff

and, like, just doing some of the most psychopathic things ever.

And that's pretty much what the movie's about, okay?

And, you know, you would think, like,

once he realized, like, oh, dang, she's a psychopath.

Like, this didn't work out.

Like, let's break up or something.

No, he continues with this, right?

Because there's dudes in this world that are like that.

And let me just tell you something,

obsession, though it's a fantasy, it's fiction,

it's actually a documentary on toxic Latinas.

It is a documentary on toxic Latinas.

I'm convinced that the director dated a toxic Latina

and was just like, this will make a great horror movie.

He's like, we just have to add some sort of supernatural element

to this because, you know, we've got to figure out

how this girl would become this way.

Oh, one wish willow, okay?

So, like, I'm sure he had some sort of experience

with the toxic Latina and was just like,

we'll just make it a movie, okay?

It's a stupid movie.

It's, you know, I don't recommend for anybody to watch it.

There's gore, it's, I'm sure it's rated R.

You know, it's godless.

You should not watch it, okay?

But let me say this, movies like that seek to normalize

that type of behavior.

I'm talking about the behavior of Nikki, okay?

And, you know, a lot of women are like, I'm Nikki.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Nikki is a fictional character that was made that way

with the willow, a one wish willow.

You're just naturally a toxic woman.

You're toxic without the one wish willow.

Bear, bear is the villain.

Bear is a fictional character.

No one in this world can make a one wish willow

to make someone madly fall in love with them

and do all that stuff.

Bear's not real.

Obviously there's people in this world that are like Bear.

They're a bunch of limp-risted, effeminate,

you know, mommy issue boys

who want a woman like that.

I don't know why you would want someone like that.

But let me just say this, you know,

if you're a woman that identifies with that psychopath,

you got issues.

Because Nikki was made that way through one wish willow,

you weren't.

Now look, if you're like, well, you know,

I've been through some things in my life

that has caused me to be this way,

okay, you know, I'm sympathetic towards that,

but you're a Christian now.

You're a Christian, you have the Bible,

you have the Holy Spirit.

Stop acting like Nikki.

And look, young men need to be discouraged

from pursuing a woman like that.

And if you're a dude and you like Nikki from that movie,

get right with God.

Oh man, I just, I get you Bear.

I get it Bear.

I can see why.

What do you mean?

The scenes that I've seen,

it should like literally make any dude

sick to their stomach that a woman

would actually be that way.

And look, there are women like that.

The scenes that I've seen, I feel like I've seen this before.

And let me say this,

the parents shouldn't let their daughter

watch that movie

for fear that they may think that behavior is appropriate.

And don't let your boys see it for fear

that they may want someone like that.

Then you'll be like Esau

where his parents are like,

the women he marries are just a grief of mind, right?

Because they got a Nikki in their life.

Pursue a godly woman

who is level-headed.

Not a toxic Latina,

a toxic Asian,

mostly it's toxic Latinas though,

that's just where they get it from.

That's why they chose a Latina to play the role.

We should endeavor to tell our boys,

hey, this is not appropriate behavior at all

for a woman to be this way.

This is godless behavior.

This is not right.

And you should never pursue a woman like this.

Pastor, you don't understand though.

She was made that way.

It's a movie!

It's a fictional movie!

She was made that way in the movie,

but you know what, that's not reality.

Reality is there are women who are like that

without the one wish willow.

That's the reality, okay?

Go to Ecclesiastes chapter 7.

Ecclesiastes 7 · chapter mention

Ecclesiastes chapter number 7.

And look folks, again,

you know, if you are a toxic man,

a toxic male, a toxic female,

you know, oh, you just grew up that way,

you just had experiences in your personal life

that has molded you into being that way.

Okay, but you know what?

Now it's different though.

Now you have a church,

you have right preaching,

you have the Holy Spirit,

you have the new man that transcends that nature.

And you know, it's not cute to be like a psychopath.

That's not cute at all.

And look, the scenes that I've seen

in that movie on Reels,

it just annoyed me.

You know, it's just like,

I feel like you don't love me the way I do.

I'm like, if a woman ever said that,

I'd be like, all right, we're done.

Done!

So let me give you, you know,

a personal testimony of a toxic Latina

that I dated at one time.

Now this is BC, okay?

Before Christ.

I was about, like, 17 years old, okay?

And you know, I remember,

you know, I was hanging out with my buddies

and he had a sister

who had all these friends that were older than us.

And you know, one of them I was just interested in

and so I ended up talking to her

and I got her number

and then I took her out on a date.

The first date was good, it was great, you know.

It was just normal.

Second date, a little weird.

She said some things that were just kind of weird, you know.

I was just like, all right, whatever, you know.

Just wanted to overlook it.

She was a Latina, by the way.

So one day, this is like week two, okay?

And she was older than me.

And it was cool because you know, she's older.

She's a friend of my buddy's sister and all that.

And so like one day,

I don't know if I'm like coming back from school or work

but I was coming back home

and you know, I walked through the door

and my mom is just furious.

And she's just like,

who are you giving your number to?

Because in those days we just had house numbers.

I didn't have a cell phone.

And I'm like, what do you mean?

She was like, someone's been calling this house

some girl's been calling this house

over and over again.

And in these days we had like caller ID

and we had answering machines like with tape, okay?

So you have to like, you know, press a button

and you know, you get an answer.

I know you guys, Jen's ears don't know what I'm talking about

but this is the way it worked back in the dinosaur era, okay?

And he's just like, someone's calling.

They're yelling on the answering machine

and I'm like, oh, it's my friends.

I'm thinking it's like, it's my buddies

who are playing a prank on me, right?

They're just trying to get me in trouble with my mom or something.

I'm like, oh, it's probably so-and-so.

Let me listen to it, you know?

And it did not occur to me that it might have been this woman.

Okay?

Because she said that she was yelling on there

and all this.

So I was like, all right, so I look.

15 missed calls.

I was like, 15?

I was like, man, these guys are like going overboard on this.

15, 10 of those 15 were messages.

One of those messages was the craziest one.

That's the one that sent my mom over the edge

and got me in trouble.

And she's like, listen to it.

And I'm like, and I'm listening.

I'm like, man, what is, because I had a friend.

I was just like, what is this guy doing?

Did he really do this?

He went kind of overboard on this.

So, you know, a couple of the messages.

It was a girl and she's just like, where are you?

Just kind of, and I'm like, I feel like I know this voice.

And then the last message is just like,

she's just like, why don't you answer your blanket phone?

And I remember thinking like, that's the girl.

And it like, I felt like my stomach was like right here.

And I was like, no, stink.

I was like, this is that girl.

And then immediately I thought to myself, oh, this is over.

I must sever this person off immediately.

I was like, that's crazy.

This is week two.

Week two.

Okay.

And again, she's like cussing on there.

Like, why won't you answer your blanket phone?

And you don't love me the way I do.

I'm just kidding, you know.

Weird stuff.

When I saw those clips, I'm having like flashbacks.

I'm like, ah!

So then I went up to my mom.

I was like, I'm sorry about that mom.

It'll never happen again.

So I thought to myself, man, this chick is crazy.

I'm like, I gotta figure out how to sever this relationship

so that she doesn't stalk me anymore.

And I'm like, if I personally break up with this girl,

this is good advice for you.

I was like, if I personally break up with this girl,

she's gonna keep calling.

I said, I got an idea.

So what I did was, I went to my buddy's friend.

I said, I'm gonna ghost your friend

and I want nothing to do with her.

And ghosting wasn't a term, but it was basically like,

I'm not gonna tell her that I'm breaking up with her.

You're gonna tell her, and you're gonna tell her

all the reasons why, and you're gonna tell her

that my mom even knows everything that she said.

Therefore, she'll be so embarrassed that, you know,

my mom knows, and her friend knows

that she will never contact me.

And it worked.

And she's like, no, you need to contact.

I'm like, I want nothing to do with that girl.

I was like, no offense to you.

I'm like, I'm not against you,

but I'm just telling you right now,

that chick is crazy.

And you know, I said it in different ways.

Okay?

Different verbiage.

I'm like, she's crazy.

I want nothing to do with her.

And you tell her that I want nothing to do with her.

You tell her never to call my house ever again.

And you know, and I said,

if we ever hang out as a group,

you better let me know if you're inviting that girl.

Because if you do, I'm not going.

I was like, that girl is crazy.

And she never did.

And you know what?

You're like, how did you know to cut it off like that?

Well, because I had a brother who only dated toxic Latinas.

And I saw the absolute hell that he went through with them.

So as a kid growing up in that environment,

I remember thinking to myself like, I don't want that.

You know, give me the quiet girl.

Right?

That's why I married Sarah.

She's just really quiet.

And she's not toxic at all.

In fact, I'm probably more toxic than she is.

I'm probably more crazier than she is.

But I remember thinking to myself like, man, I do not want that.

But here's the weird thing is if you're a young man

and you're like, man, that would be so good.

What's wrong with you?

What do you mean?

You want someone to kill your cat

and stare you in the middle of the night?

I'd be like, you don't love me the way I do.

That's what they do.

That's what the girl was doing in that movie.

Oh, you don't understand.

It's really scary.

She walks backwards.

First of all, if that scares you, man, you're a wimp.

No offense to anybody.

Walking backwards scares you now?

She looks like a retard.

Beware of that stuff.

Why are you making such a big deal about it?

Because that's not appropriate normal behavior.

And those aren't appropriate attributes

that a Christian man should be seeking for in a woman.

You say, what kind of woman is that?

A psychopath.

That's completely contrary to the word of God.

And again, you're a parent.

Don't be showing that to your...

I'm not going to police your home.

I'm just telling you right now,

my kids would never watch something like that

because I don't want my daughters to be psychopaths.

I don't want them to think that it's okay to walk backwards.

And to tell their husbands,

you don't love me the way I do.

It's not mutual.

And I don't want my sons to think that,

yeah, that sounds pretty good.

I want to be entrenched in a relationship like that.

Where, you know, the woman loves me so much,

she just kills everyone who's around me

just to keep me to herself.

You're weird.

And you know what, if that's you,

and you like that stuff,

and you like that kind of woman,

you need to allow the spirit of God

to transcend that stupid flesh of yours

and renew your mind and become a righteous person

because that's not a righteous desire.

It's not.

It's not a righteous desire at all.

Plus, Bear looks like a fag anyways.

You know?

He's super wimpy and he's just like,

I love you, like bro,

she killed your cat, bro.

Or she's feeding you your cat.

She's doing all kinds of psychopathic things.

It's like, how do you not,

after all that behavior,

just walk away from them and be like,

you know what?

I made a mistake.

I'm going to put a restraining order on you

so you never come near me ever again

and just move yourself to a different state.

But he just maintains,

he just stays in that relationship.

But you know what?

That's a documentary on lame dudes too.

I've known guys

who dated toxically at the end

and they just stayed with them.

They just put up with all the psychopathy.

Okay?

And you know what?

As a Christian,

you should seek to be as far away

from that as possible.

And some of you are like,

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Like that scene.

Is this like a real thing?

Yes, unfortunately it's real.

You know, as a pastor, I have the uncomfortable job

of talking about these like trends sometimes.

Because, and I have to talk about them,

because sometimes they can creep into church a little bit.

Where people in church

get into this stuff.

You know, obviously the pastor doesn't know about it.

He's not going to tell the pastor about it.

Because then he's going to preach

on toxicity on Sunday night.

But it's important for you

to stay away from toxic females.

That behavior is not normal.

It's godless.

And you know what?

You don't need a one wish willow to get that.

You know, you just need to go out in the world

and find someone like that.

You know, you should find someone in the house of God

who's level headed, who loves the Lord.

And you know what?

Women are naturally emotional,

but may they never like

feed you your cat though.

Can we just have that standard, please?

And you know what? It's normal to be

to be, you know,

to be needed, right?

Want to be needed.

We all want to be needed.

I want my wife to need me.

And I'm sure my wife wants me to need her.

That's a normal thing.

But you know, let's not

be so enthralled

in that that we just become weirdos.

Okay? Or it's just like,

you know, oh, you didn't say that.

It's just like every little thing just kind of

just knocks you off kilter

and you can't function properly.

You are a Christian.