Genesis 31 Problems with the In-Laws - Pastor Bruce Mejia

Alright, we're in Genesis chapter 31 this evening and we're continuing with all of the conflict that Jacob is experiencing with his in-laws here.

Genesis 31 · chapter mention

And if you remember back in chapter 30, we have Jacob and his wives bearing children.

And it's essentially the chapter where with we find all of the children that will make up the 12 tribes, excluding of course Benjamin.

And then we have him acting deceitfully towards the letter N.

But through it all we see that God is still with Jacob.

Not because he approves of what Jacob is doing, not that he approves of his deception, his cunning behavior,

but because obviously God has to work with sinners.

And so Jacob through this process of being with Laban is going to learn a lot of valuable lessons.

He's basically getting a taste of his own medicine with Laban.

And here in chapter 31 is the pivotal point where Jacob finally decides to leave this land, to leave his uncle's region and go back home.

And why is that?

Well look at verse 1 it says,

And Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban and behold it was not toward him as before.

So a couple things I want to mention regarding just these first couple verses here.

And that is that when we go into this particular story we're already 20 years in.

So from the time that Jacob arrived to Laban and he's trying to marry his daughters and so forth,

you have 20 years that have already passed and it's about time for him to get going.

But one of the things that really motivates him to leave is the fact that he hears his brother-in-law gossiping about him.

It specifically says that he hears the words of Laban's sons and they're criticizing him.

They are speaking evil of him and as we see here they're obviously envying him.

They, you know, Jacob hasn't necessarily done anything wrong per se in the sense of, you know, God has blessed him.

He's given him that increase.

He has blessed his resources of course.

But, you know, Laban's sons are not happy with that.

They're envious of him.

Now the first thing I want to mention here is that we've got to be careful about the gossip we listen to about us.

Okay?

You know, I'm sure if we're like these TikTok investigators that are out right now,

we can find all types of people that are talking trash about us, right?

We can find all types of people that are trashing us and that are speaking evil of us.

Maybe it's our family members.

Maybe it's friends.

You know, we can literally dig into all of the slander and nonsense that people are saying about us.

You know, it can completely ruin our day for sure, right?

And so, you know, there's a biblical principle in the Bible that essentially states that we shouldn't necessarily try to find every single evil thing that's stated about us

because at the end of the day, I don't know about you, but it can get me in the flesh, right?

And it can get us to have a wrong view of people.

Of course, sometimes things are taken out of context.

But, you know, it makes me think of Ecclesiastes chapter 7 and verse 21 that says this,

Ecclesiastes 7 · chapter mention

Also take no heed unto all the words that are spoken,

Lest thou hear thy serving curse thee.

You know, he's like, don't listen to everything that's out there

because eventually you're going to run into someone who you like

and end up saying something negative about you.

Not all the time, but you know, it can happen, right?

Someone's going to curse you.

Someone you're close to is going to say something bad about you.

And then you're like, yeah, but I can't believe they said that, though.

Why would they say such a thing?

Well, hold on a second.

Verse 22 says this,

For oftentimes also,

Thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise has cursed others.

Okay?

So before you jump on that person and criticize them for criticizing you,

just know that you've probably done the same as well, right?

So the point being here is that we've all been guilty

of maybe talking trash behind someone's back, right?

And we see the principle here that Jacob somehow heard the words of Laban

and I don't think that this is the first time

Laban's sons have been saying evil things about Jacob.

I'm sure this has happened throughout the time that he's been there

since the resources have increased and so forth.

And so, you know, it's just for whatever reason,

his ear was in the right place at the right time

and he heard these evil things that he's saying about Jacob.

Okay?

Now, obviously there's going to come times where you can't avoid

when people are speaking evil of you, right?

And people should not be slandering others,

speaking ill of others,

bringing up a false report about others,

talking trash about others.

That's obviously an evil thing to do

and it's obviously not a Christian virtue.

Now, what's the result of this?

Well, it says in verse 2,

Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban

and behold, it was not toward him as before.

So what happened here?

Well, obviously because Laban's sons are talking in his ear,

saying, oh, man, this guy's taking all your resources.

He's got better things than us.

Look at all his glory.

It's making Laban's mind evil affected against Jacob.

Because keep in mind in the chapter before,

he's like, I know God's blessed me because of you.

I know the Lord has blessed my resources because you're here

and that's 100% true, right?

So, you know, it sounds like Laban,

prior to this conversation with the sons,

he was happy to have Jacob with him.

He was happy with having his presence there,

working for him, you know,

taking advantage of him to a certain degree

because he knew that God was with him.

It wasn't until his sons came, started slandering

and putting these evil thoughts into the mind of Laban

that now Laban's like, oh, yeah, you know,

maybe, yeah, you're right.

Jacob has kind of, you know,

become glorious at my expense

and his resources have increased

and obviously, Jacob notices this.

It says his countenance was not as it was toward him as before.

Now, what does the countenance mean?

It means his facial expressions, right?

So, you know, in the morning, Laban would see him and say,

hey, how's it going?

You know, everything all right?

You're making me some money, you know?

Is everything all right?

But then after a while,

he's just kind of like narrow-eyedly looking at him,

kind of suspicious of him.

Now, he's just like, I wonder what this guy's cooking up now.

And obviously, we can take all of Jacob's character

and say, well, actually, you have a valid point there.

You, to be a little suspicious of Jacob

because he is a little cunning.

But here's the thing, though,

is that he's essentially believing all of the evil report

that his sons are bringing to him about him, okay?

And this is wicked.

And what's the principle that we can learn here?

You know, we need to make sure,

let's talk about family first and foremost, right?

That we don't just listen to the evil reports of our family

about our loved ones or about anybody else, okay?

You know, we need to make sure

that when someone brings up an evil report about our wife,

about our husband, about, you know, our children,

about mom, about dad,

that we stop them right in their tracks, right?

And say, I don't want to hear this.

This is slander.

This is gossiping.

You're being a tattletale and a busy body.

And even if what you're saying is true,

go talk to that person about it.

Leave me alone.

Because what's the point?

The point is that they're going to make your mind evil-affected

against your spouse, against your husband, against your wife,

against your children, against your parents.

And so, you know,

Laban should have been like, hey, boys,

why don't you shut up and get back to work, okay?

When you can produce the amount of resources

that Jacob is producing and put in the work here

and stop acting like a bunch of, you know,

envious little brother-in-laws, you know,

then I'll listen to you once you're producing more.

But, you know, it sounds like you're just a little jealous,

a little envious of Jacob.

But, of course, Laban didn't do that, right?

And, you know, you need to make sure you don't listen

to the bad report that people bring about your spouse.

Especially your spouse, right?

Oh, when you have a mother-in-law,

a father-in-law, some sort of family member

that's coming to you and saying, hey, you know,

you know I love you, right?

You know, I really, I love you.

You guys mean the world to me.

And I'm only telling you this because I love you.

Just know, at that point,

some evil's gonna come out of their mouth, right?

And just be like, I'm not trying to criticize you

or anything like that.

I like what you guys got going on right here.

It's great that you guys are going to church.

Oh, it's great that you guys are doing this.

But, you know, your husband,

your wife, they go a little overboard, you know?

And they start throwing these insults,

these slanderous statements about your spouse.

You need to stop them running the tracks,

regardless of who it's coming from.

I'm talking about if your mama's coming to you

and saying these things, you need to rebuke that.

Because our number one loyalty,

this side of eternity is to our spouse.

Don't let anybody criticize your spouse, okay?

Don't let anybody talk down on your spouse,

criticize your spouse,

talk trash about your spouse.

You defend your spouse, you know, to the highest degree.

And don't listen to the slander.

Don't listen to the criticisms.

Don't listen to, well, you know,

I just want to say this one thing about, you know,

the way you're doing things,

the way your spouse does these things,

the way your wife is doing it,

the way your husband is doing it.

Just say this, you know,

I'm not interested in listening to this, okay?

And I don't want to hear this

because at the end of the day, folks,

let's just, you know,

let's just use some examples here, okay?

Some artificial examples, okay?

You know, if a parent

or an in-law, a mother-in-law,

a father-in-law is criticizing

the husband to the wife,

you know, it's likely that the wife can be,

can just give an ear to that

and be susceptible to the criticisms

that her parents are giving to her

because wives are just kind of like that.

They're just, they're emotional beings.

They sometimes can just believe everything

as noted what's going on this week, right?

They just believe everything.

You know, you put a certain,

you put the X-Files music behind a video,

they'll just believe it.

Oh, it must be true, right?

And so, ladies,

you need to make sure that you recognize

your susceptibility,

not just to deception,

but also to criticisms as well.

And in light of knowing

that you're susceptible to these things

because you're just emotional,

you just gotta be like, you know what,

I'm not gonna listen to that, don't tell me that.

And if they just wanna keep pushing the issue,

keep pushing the issue, this is what you do.

You say, if you want to continue to fellowship

with me, my husband, or my kids,

I suggest you stop right now.

Because if not,

I've been commanded of my husband

to separate, to part ways from you

because I'm not gonna allow anybody

to just criticize my husband, okay?

Talk trash about my husband

and criticize his leadership,

criticize the way he does things.

You know, you're supposed to be promoting me

to, you know, and encouraging me

to submit to my husband, to love my husband,

not to think evil of him.

Well, I'm just trying to, you know,

I'm just, I'm glad you, yeah,

yeah, I'm glad you're trying to,

I'm just saying, you know,

he needs to zip it.

I don't wanna hear it.

Don't accept criticisms about your spouse,

okay, and you know,

and vice versa.

You know, if your mother-in-law,

your father-in-law comes to you

talking trash about your wife,

stop them dead in their tracks

and say, this conversation's over

and I never want to hear you

say anything bad about my wife

ever again.

And if you do, then you're not

seeing the grandkids anymore.

Use that card, that typically gets them.

Okay, you'll never see them

ever again.

And folks, we wanna communicate loyalty

to our spouse, right?

And recognize they are,

and look, you know, obviously,

if you're the type to just give into these criticisms,

your mind is gonna be evil affected against them.

And then, you're gonna be

critical of your spouse,

you're gonna start criticizing them in your hearts,

being critical of their leadership,

critical of their decisions,

critical of their actions,

every word that comes out of their mouth,

you're just being cynical about

and it's not right, okay?

Then your countenance

will not be towards them as it was before.

Why? Because you allow someone

to criticize your family member,

your wife, your spouse.

It's not right to do, okay?

And so, look, if you are the type of person

who you're just susceptible

to gossip, here's the remedy.

Just stop them dead in their tracks.

Identify

that they're talking trash

about your wife or your husband

and then stop them right then and there,

okay? And don't let it be a habit,

because what they're doing

is they're just trying to like see

what you're willing to take, okay?

Like, yeah, but what about like

honor thy father and mother?

You know, I forgot the conditional part of that verse

that says, you know, especially above

your spouse.

You know, honor thy father and thy mother

especially above your husband,

especially above your spouse, no.

You know, the

unit of marriage,

the husband and wife is a far more

important unit than your relationship

to your mom and your dad.

That's a fact. And look, obviously

these things should be in harmony,

right? Meaning that we should be able to

love our wife as Christ loved the church,

she should submit and obey her husband

and reverence her husband, respect her husband,

you know, and still

be able to honor our father

and mother at the same time. But let me

just say this, because we live in a sinful

world where sometimes things get

mixed up and you're forced to choose,

choose your spouse.

No one in the world

will say, well, I'm just going to honor my mom

and my dad despite the fact that they're

causing me to dishonor my spouse.

It's not right to do, okay?

And so make sure

you obey your husband

above even your mom and dad.

Yes, amen to that.

Okay?

You're like, well,

you know, he's my dad

and he's always been right. Yeah, but you married

me though.

And I've replaced your father.

Every woman who's gotten married

has had their father

replaced by their husband.

That's exactly how it works.

Okay? And I'm not

saying hate your father or anything like that.

You know, obviously

in a perfect world,

your husband

would be great friends

with your father and so forth.

I'm talking about the extreme cases where

you know, the wife might be

tempted to obey

the leadings of her father,

even God forbid, her mother

above her husband.

That's a godless thing to do.

It's not biblical. It's not right.

The point being here is that

you know, laymen and sons

need to shut up and get back to work.

Okay? And stop being so

envious of

you know, what Jacob is producing.

But also, you know, this applies

in marriage. This applies

also in a

church. Okay?

We need to make sure, listen to me, that we don't

make anybody's mind in here

evil affected against someone else

just because we favor one church member

over another. Okay?

Just because you don't agree with certain

decisions of one person or this

relationship or these people

or what this person did

doesn't give you the right to make

people's minds evil affected against that

individual. Stay out of it.

Okay?

You're like, oh yeah, but we gotta

we're really close to this person

and because we're really close to this

member, you know, look, we could be close

to church members for sure.

But that doesn't give you the right

to act wickedly against another

church member though.

Okay? You know, it doesn't give

you the right to favor them

in such a way that other people feel

excluded. They feel like you're criticizing them.

They feel like you are doing

wrong towards them. You know, favoring

someone shouldn't feel like

you're excluding someone else.

Okay? We need to be diplomatic

in church and not be a bunch of high

school girls in our church

trying to click up with other people

against so and so. We're not mean girls

here. Okay?

This isn't the mean girls club

where we're trying to look for

cliques and crews in the church. We're Christians.

We're brothers and sisters in Christ.

And let me just also say this

is that as our church

continues to grow

numerically, spiritually,

you know, we're having a bunch of babies

and, you know, these

toddlers and these

10-year-olds, 13, they start growing up.

They start, you know, they start growing up

and then they're gonna start dating. Okay?

Ugh. You know, I'm just not

looking forward to that. You know?

They're gonna start dating and, you know,

talking about marriage

and all this. That's great, right?

And we think there's those, that's

so beautiful.

You know, these kids are gonna get, start dating.

But just know this, though, there

probably be some heartbreaks, though.

Right? That's just the fact.

You know?

Some of them might break my son's heart.

You know?

Some of them might break one of your daughters heart. I don't know.

That's just a possibility.

Okay?

But it would be wrong for,

you know, let's say for example

one of my son's dates, and

I'm using this as an example because it's not gonna happen for a really long time.

And don't be talking about dating to my

kids, by the way. Okay?

My kids are little kids.

Okay? Don't be trying to pair anybody up

and like, oh man, I think both of these

can really work together or whatever.

They're kids. They play Pokemon,

Legos, and that's what they need to be doing.

Loving the Lord, their parents.

And they're not in the season of dating right now, okay?

Don't talk to, you know,

if you want to do that with your kids, that's your business.

But keep my kids out of that.

Okay?

But again, for the sake of illustrating,

let's use an artificial illustration here.

And let's say one of my son's,

he's in his 20s or whatever,

and he ends up dating, you know,

one of the girls, one of the daughters here.

And it's going great.

And then, you know, they just,

he breaks up with her.

Oh, let's use the different illustration.

Let's say the girl breaks up with my son.

Shatters his heart.

Breaks his little heart.

You know?

You know, it wouldn't be right for me

to just all of a sudden

have my mind evil affected

against that daughter

and that family because of that.

And just be like, huh,

who are these people?

Once I understand I'm the pastor,

this is my kid, they're going to do this.

You know?

And just rally a bunch of people

to sympathize towards my son

or something like that.

You know what I mean? Just because that happened.

Folks, that's life.

I don't want my son to have his heart broken.

I don't want my daughters to get the heart broken.

So I'm going to aid them as much as possible

and help them throughout this process.

But it's just unavoidable sometimes, right?

It may happen.

And you know, if my daughter breaks

your son's heart and vice versa,

don't get mad at me and I won't get mad at you

and don't try to rally people

to your cause to be against this person

just because that happened.

It's not right to do.

This isn't high school.

Grow up.

Well, we have to protect the hearts of the people.

We need to protect their healing.

We need to make sure that they heal.

Forget that.

Forget that.

Let them get over it.

And obviously,

I'm going to be sensitive towards my daughters

if that happens.

But towards my son, I'll be like,

where are you dodging the bullet?

Dodge the bullet.

Get over it.

You've got to get over it. This is life.

This is what happens.

And I'm not going to be like,

son, I'll just be honest with you.

I knew they were bad from the start.

I knew they were bad.

I knew they lacked some character qualities.

And I just didn't want to say,

it would be wrong for me to do that.

Just because my son is close,

he's my son,

and my heart's endeared unto him or whatever it may be.

It's not right to do.

Be diplomatic

about these things.

Don't be this type of person in church

where you're trying to make other people's minds

evil-effective against others.

Stay out of the relationships in the church, by the way.

Mind your own business.

Stop being a busy body.

Let these people do,

unless they're literally coming to you for advice,

first and foremost,

if you don't have good advice, don't give it.

And let me just say this,

bros, you guys should not be going to women

for advice on dating.

Let me just say that.

Stop going to women for advice.

What is that?

What kind of world are we living?

Don't go to women for advice.

What do you think I should do?

They're going to give you an emotional answer.

They're going to get you to side with Lindsay Clancy.

No, I'm just kidding.

Stay out of the relationships

unless they're actually coming to you

and asking for counsel,

asking for advice.

Don't be this busy body trying to figure out

don't be cupid in our church either.

Trying to hook people up

unless they're literally coming to you saying,

hey, I know you're close to so and so.

What are your thoughts on this or whatever?

But don't be this busy body,

cupid, you know,

person that you're just interested

in all what the singles are doing in our church.

Let them screw themselves up.

No, I'm just kidding.

Let them make the decisions.

If they need counsel, they need help.

They'll come to you. Stay out of it.

Now, look, as a pastor,

sometimes I just got to get involved.

People ask me. They come to me.

They want to know what they should do.

And honestly, I tell them, I say, look,

if you are not going to listen to what I'm telling you,

then I'm not interested in giving you any advice.

Because I'm not going to cast my pearls before swine.

And so, you know,

but, you know, people come to me,

and if they listen, then I drop knowledge, amen.

Drop counsel, give them,

give them the wisdom,

and I'll help them as much as they let me help them.

But I always tell people

that when it comes to dating, I always tell them,

like, I'm not your dad, you know,

and so you're not my son, you're not my daughter,

and I can't tell you exactly.

Because people always want to know, like,

what should I do? And I'm just like,

I can't tell you what to do.

You're not my son, you're not my daughter,

I can direct you in the right way

and give you direction or whatever it may be.

But at the end of the day,

they got to come to me and they got to ask me.

But don't be the person

that's just dying

to just get involved in everyone's business.

Who's dating who?

Who broke up with who?

What's going on here? Let's get the receipts.

How are they feeling?

Go read your Bible!

Stay out of it!

You're like, yeah, but I'm just so interested, though.

I just want to know.

Yeah, because you're nosy.

And so, you know, and guys,

please, please go get

advice from men.

Don't get advice from the ladies in our church.

Unless it's like, what do women like?

I'm looking to get a gift here.

What should I...

But don't get emotional advice from women, though.

Because then at that point,

I'm going to view you as a feminine person.

A little mama's boy.

You need proper...

When I say men, I'm talking about men who have succeeded in that area, by the way.

Not your contemporary

who can't get a date.

Not your contemporary

who's constantly finding matches

online or something like that.

You need to go to someone

who actually has succeeded in the area

in that particular field.

And so, it's important for us to recognize

that we can't listen.

And look, I especially,

I'm preaching to myself as well.

I got to make sure that my mind

is not evil affected against others.

And I don't believe just everything that I hear, either.

And, you know, I,

as far as I know,

love everyone equally in our church.

I favor people equally.

I believe that.

And obviously, do I get along with certain people more than others?

Of course, that's just how it is, right?

But that should not determine

how I judge certain people, either, though.

And so, it's just like, I'm not going to allow my mind

to be evil affected against one over another.

I want both parties,

you know, all single people

to just find a spouse,

get married,

live happily ever after, serve God.

And it's not like, well, you know,

we want what's best for this person more, though.

This person has a lot of potential.

They all got potential.

Stop being that way.

And so, yeah, but they're

part of our team, though.

We're all on the same team.

Stop acting like that.

There's not one team

in this church that's better than another team, by the way.

It's not like,

hey, just, I know

Pastor said it's not one team better,

but I'm just letting you know right now, though.

We are.

We are, for sure.

We're like a family.

This is like a family.

If I start hearing things like that,

I'm going to start moving people around.

And just break up the family.

I'm just going to break that family

up and just move people around

just for the heck of it.

Because we're not going to have

cliques on our church.

It's just like, yeah,

that's them and we're us

and this is what we do and this is how

get that garbage out of here.

I'm not interested in that.

The point that I'm making here is that

we need to make sure that we don't intentionally

or unintentionally

make people's minds evil affected against others.

Amen.

And try to mess up their reputation

and

you know, oh, you know, yeah,

but I heard, what are you doing hearing?

Come on.

Why are you hearing in the first place?

Yeah, but what I was told is

that also all of a sudden

you just believe everything you hear.

The simple believe with every word the Bible says.

Simple means stupid.

Are you stupid?

You know?

And again, you know, and I get it.

Sometimes, you know, people say stuff

and they're very convincing

and I just want to believe them off the bat.

Like facts.

This is facts.

But I have to make sure that I don't

and then I make diligent inquiry

if it involves me, okay?

And so, you know, if someone says something to you

and you've already crossed that boundary

of listening to that gossip

like, oh, now I need to make diligent inquiry.

No, why don't you just see yourself out?

And just say, you know what?

This is none of my business.

I need to go iron my husband's shirts.

I need to go do laundry.

Cook a meal.

Teach my kids.

Go soul-winning. Read my Bible.

I need to see what's going on with Lindsay Clancy.

You know, I got my own

TikTok investigations to do right now.

You know, just go do something else.

Rather than trying to investigate

so what happened there exactly?

None of your business.

And look, you know, I'm telling you right now

like right now we got a couple of single people

in our church but

in a few years it's going to be a lot of

single people, okay?

Why? Because our kids are going to grow up

and, you know, they're going to be single.

They're going to be looking for a maid.

They're going to be interested in one another

and right now, you know,

they got their little horde

of kids just running

around the church, knocking people,

but later on it's not going to be that way.

They're going to grow up.

They're going to be interested in one another.

Lord willing and if not, whatever, you know.

And there might be some instances

where hearts are broken, things don't work out

and you as parents, we as parents

need to make sure that we don't allow

our minds to be evil affected against them

because you know what, sometimes relationships

just don't work out.

That's how it is.

Yeah, but I just think

that's your problem.

If you weren't thinking you wouldn't have

thought that.

It's a famous line, amen.

You know,

stop trying to assess situations.

Just recognize, you know, sometimes it just doesn't work out.

Sometimes it just doesn't work out.

They're, you know,

both parties are godly, both parties

are doing the right thing

and so just let them move on

and stop trying to get people

to favor one over the other.

Amen?

Those are the first two verses.

Okay?

And I'm telling you because you don't want to come to church

and then your countenance is different

towards people because of some situation.

You know, you're happy with

that person before but all of a sudden

they're just like,

who did that person think they are?

You know?

It's nonsense.

So, you know, that's just

food for thought there.

But, you know, this worked out

together for good because, you know,

Jacob had to leave, right?

It was time for Jacob to go.

It says in verse 3,

And Jacob said to them,

I see your father's countenance

that it is not toward me as before

but the God of my father

hath been with me

and you know that with all my power

I have served your father

and your father hath been with me

and you have deceived me

and changed my wages ten times

but God suffered him not to hurt me.

So, you know, Jacob is,

you know, the Lord is with Jacob.

He's telling him it's time for him to go home,

go back to his land

and he's explaining this to his wife

saying, you know, it's time for me to go.

You know how your father has mistreated me

but despite that God has protected me.

He's blessed me.

And obviously he's being a little self-righteous here

because he's making it seem as though

he's done nothing wrong, right?

But obviously he has been deceptive

and the Lord's blessed him

despite that.

It says he's changed his wages ten times ten

in the Bible.

It's often a number of tribulation

and testing.

So he changes his wages ten times

throughout these 20 years

and we can say that Jacob has been tested

for these last 20 years.

Okay? God's working on him.

Skip down to verse

number 13.

It says, I am the God of Bethel

where thou anointest the pillar

and with thou vows to valentine me

now arise and get thee out from this land

and return into the land of thy kindred

and Rachel and Leah answered and said unto him

is there yet any portion or inheritance

for us in our fathers' house?

Are we not counted of him strangers?

For he hath sold us

and hath quite delivered

or devoured also our money

for all the riches which God

hath taken from our father, that is ours

and our children's now then

whatsoever God hath said unto thee do.

So, what do we have here?

Jacob's just like, hey, your dad's being this way

this is what's going on.

So now Jacob is making

his wives' minds

evil affected against their father.

Right?

Because they're saying all these things

and then what do you have the daughters doing?

They're like, well, yeah, he has kind of taken our riches, hasn't he?

And we don't really have an inheritance.

Yeah, let's get out of here.

And what do they end up doing?

Rachel ends up stealing

from her father.

So it's wrong on both sides, right?

This is a very dysfunctional family.

They're just liars

they're deceiving each other, they're slanders

they're just doing wrong

in this area, okay?

It says in verse 17

then Jacob rose up

and set his sons on his wives upon camels

and carried away all his cattle and all his goods

which he had gotten, the cattle of his getting

which he had gotten in Pandanaram

for to go to Isaac his father in the land of Canaan

and Laban went to shear his sheep

and Rachel had stolen the images

that were her father's

and Jacob stole away unawares

to Laban the Syrian

and that he told him not

that he fled. So we still see here

some semblance of fear

in doubt in the heart

of Jacob. Why? Well, God

is the one telling him go home

but yet he's still being sneaky about it.

He's like afraid of Laban

he doesn't say anything so he secretly

leaves Laban

and takes off without saying anything

whereas what he should have done is just gone to Laban

and say, hey, my time's up

I'm leaving right now

and regardless of what happens

I hope God blesses you

you've already been blessed

and so it's time to part ways and so forth

but obviously because he's a liar

he's deceptive, he's kind of sneaky

he ends up leaving unawares

and as we see here Rachel ends up stealing

from her father. It says in verse

number 21

so he fled with all that he had

and he rose up and passed over the river

and set his face towards Mount Gilead

and it was told Laban on the third day

that Jacob was fled. He took his brethren

with him and pursued after him seven days journey

and they overtook him into Mount Gilead

and God came to Laban the Syrian

in a dream by night and said to him

take heed that thou speak not

Jacob to Jacob either good

or bad. Now look Jacob

is a deceiver but man he does have

the Lord with him in a big way right

and I don't necessarily

think that it's because of Jacob's character

because he's just a man of integrity

obviously the overarching

theme here is that God

is trying to get a job done through

these men okay through

Abraham through Isaac

through Jacob and so he's

just trying to like you know he's

essentially winking at

the flaws of these men right

and so Laban

it sounds like

Laban intends to harm Jacob

which is why God has to come to him and

say hey don't speak anything good

or bad it's kind of like a threat like

don't you do anything to him because

obviously he's the Lord is with him here

verse 25 says then Laban overtook Jacob

now Jacob had pitched his tent in the

Mount and Laban with his brother pitched

in the Mount of Gilead and Laban said

to Jacob what is thou done

that thou has stolen away unawares to

me and carried away my daughters as

captives taken with the sword wherefore

didst thou flee away secretly

and steal away from me and didst

not tell me that I might have sent

thee away with mirth and with songs with

tabern with harp okay let's just be honest

though Laban you wouldn't have done that

you've kept them here for 20 years

okay you would have just

looked for another reason to keep

them there but you know

Laban is just as deceptive as the other so

you know verse 28 and

has not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters

thou has done

thou has now done foolishly in doing so

it is in the power of my hand

to do you hurt but the God of your father

spake unto me yesterday saying take thou

heed that thou speak not

to Jacob either good or bad and now

though thou wouldst needs be gone because

thou soar longest after thy father's house

yet wherefore has thou stolen my gods

and Jacob answered and said to

Laban because I was afraid

for I said for adventure that would

us take by force thy daughters

from me so

you know we have a sticky situation here

because Jacob doesn't know that Rachel has

stolen the gods

now this is also demonstrating

that lay us probably

more righteous than Rachel right

you know she's the one

who's tender-eyed she's the one who has

the most children by Jacob and

she's the one who's not stealing the gods

now we don't know the exact motive

as to why Rachel stole the gods

it could be that they had some

monetary value

to them but regardless

this is theft right

this is theft she's being

deceptive she's doing this without the knowledge

of her husband ok

and so this is wrong and Jacob

is just kind of like well I was afraid

this is why I left secretly

skip down to verse number

33 says Laban went into

Jacob's tent and lay us tent

and into the two maidservants tents but he found them not

then went he out of lay us tent

and entered into Rachel's tent

now Rachel had taken the images

and put them in the camel's furniture

and sat upon them and Laban

searched all the tent but found them not

and she said to her father

let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up

before thee for the custom of women is upon me

and he searched but found not the images

so she just lied she was just sitting on them right

now what do we learn from this

well we learn

that Rachel

is a bad daughter

and she's a bad wife

because she's keeping things from her

biblical authority

and I guarantee you that's not the first time she's lied

ok

and look folks it's important for us to realize

that first and foremost

lying is wrong

but it's especially bad if a wife

lies and keeps things from her spouse

where does it begin

by keeping things from your dad

ok and so

you know we need to recognize that

honesty is always the best

policy we need to be

virtuous people of truth

of honesty and daughters make sure

you don't keep things from your dad

be honest

with your parents be honest with your father

and you know sometimes people

one of the reasons people lie and keep things

from their parents is because they're afraid of the repercussions

or they're afraid

what's my parent

what are my parents gonna think of me

if they find out that I lied about this

or that I did this particular thing

but let me just tell you this

it's better for you to just fess up

ok and come clean with your parents

rather than having your parents

find out that you lied

find out that you stole

find out that you did something wrong and sinful

and then they're extremely disappointed

I'm telling you right now as a parent

as a parent

I would rather my kids come to me

and confess what they've done

and you know what

I'll be very merciful to them

I have that policy in my home

that if my kids

confess to me without me knowing

I'm not talking about like I caught them and they confess

I'm talking about

they come to me and they confess

that they've done wrong

I will be very lenient with them

now I'm not saying they won't receive

any type of punishment

I'm just saying that they won't receive

as severe punishment as they would have

if I would have caught them

I do believe parents should be merciful

I think we should be gracious

but listen to me kids

you need to make sure that you don't keep things

from mom and dad

be honest with them

these are your God given authorities

these are your best friends

that you will ever have

before you get married

and it's important for you to recognize

that you need to be just transparent with your parents

and let me tell you something kids

Satan

tries to keep you from telling the truth

to your parents all the time

Satan tries to keep you

harboring lies

and not telling the truth

because he wants you to develop

a habit of just bearing false witness

lying and stealing and doing wrong

all the time that always happens

Satan wants you to keep that covered

because he's constantly whispering to you

they're going to get mad if they find out about this

they're going to be disappointed

oh this is going to happen

just don't tell them

but you got to make sure that you don't give heed

to the temptations of Satan

and just say I need to come clean with my mom and my dad

and your relationship will always be better

with your parents if you just be honest with them

and look folks, kids listen up

your parents love you

and there's nothing too crazy you can tell your parents

don't everything like yeah but this is really crazy

nothing too crazy

your parents are not going to be like

first of all your parents probably did worse

I'll just be honest with you

it's just very likely okay

but secondly your parents love you

your parents care for you

your parents are there to raise you in the nurture

and admonition of the Lord

they're there to help you

through that situation

to help you to confess it before the Lord

to get it right with God

and so you can move on

and look one of the worst things that you can do

as a kid is this

listen to me is keep guilt in you

it's the worst thing you can do

it's like this nasty cloud

that just looms over you all the time

knowing that you're keeping things from your parents

it's a nasty cloud it's called guilt

it's called fear

guilt of being found out

but let me tell you if you want that to be completely removed

you just go to mom and dad and say

I have something to tell you and I'm sorry

and you can break down you can cry

and just say I did wrong and this is what I did

and you know what the cloud goes away

mom and dad forgive you

you might suffer a little punishment

but you know what compared to what would happen

if you just carried on with that lie

carried on with that deception

having that cloud of guilt looming over you

that cloud grows

over the years and over the months

well get it right with your mom and dad

tell them be honest with them

and be transparent with them so you don't have to live that way

okay

and let me say this if you develop

a habit of lying to your parents

listen to me you will eventually

become a person who lies to your spouse

you end up developing the habit

of lying to your husband

and lying to your wife

that's exactly how it is

and you know what it's wrong to lie to our spouses

it's wrong to

keep things from our spouses

because we don't want them to find out

unless you're getting them a gift or something like that

we still got this money here

no one ever claimed a $10

we got such an honest church

anyways

don't keep things from your spouse

and don't say don't tell mom

don't tell dad

this is our little secret

that's wicked

that's a godless thing to do

lying to your

teaching your kids

just passing on that generational curse

to them

okay but this is our little secret

don't say anything

you're teaching your kids

mom doesn't respect dad's authority

it's okay to lie to dad

because dad is someone

that we just lie to

because we respect mom and mom is telling me

that I can lie to dad

it's evil it's wicked

it's a godless thing to do

but it's for their own good

you're destroying your family

and you're destroying

the character of your children as well

okay

have a policy of honesty

and you know what

Rachel had no problem just lying to her dad

and keeping that from Jacob as well

we need to make sure we're just honest

okay

and if my wife came to me

and said let me see your search history

like what go for it

another night

are you gonna see his like

anti-jew videos

or you know

let me see your search history

you're gonna see racist memes

you know

you're gonna see stuff about editing

you're gonna see whatever

well let me see your dm's

go for it

you'll see a lot of unopened messages

first and foremost

you know

now if that worries you

like oh man I don't know

see that's a problem

my wife can go through my phone at any given time

I got nothing to hide

you know

if there's something bad on there

just say sorry

say you know what

I don't know how that got there

I don't know what happened

I legitimately don't know

and here's the thing folks

is that you know what honesty does

it allows you to accumulate trust

in your bank

ok so in case you know

something you know does happen

and it looks suspicious because you just have a good track record

she's not gonna think

he's not gonna think that you're up to something

you're just a trustworthy person

there you go

right

and here's the great thing about being an honest person

you don't gotta keep her

seats

of things that you've said in the past

you know

just tell the truth all the time

tell the truth all the time

be an honest individual

and you don't have to worry like oh man I gotta keep track of my lies

or something

ok

Rachel's over here stealing false gods

and I'm sure Jacob would have been pissed

he would have been super mad

she got the virgin Mary

the equivalent

she's sitting under it

you know that she got from her dad

her dad probably got from her

his Mexican you know grandma

whatever

you know they're not Mexican

but you know she's keeping that for whatever reason

just not telling you

and Jacob over here is like saying like

whoever's hand it's found in let them die

you know

and then you know Rachel's doing that monkey meme

she's like

oh dang you know

cause he's just like

no one is an idolater in my home

uh Rachel is

Rachel got a false god with her

she stole from her father

she lied to her father and she's lying to you

you know

we need marriages that are just honest

with each other

not deceptive

not keeping things from your spouse

obviously I'm not talking about gifts

alright

my wife doesn't really have to work hard

at keeping gifts from me cause I'm just extremely

oblivious to that stuff

she can literally keep a gift in my office

if I walk by I'll look at it

and not think of it cause I'm just so

model minded I'm like that's a box

alright let's move on and I just don't notice things

like she doesn't have to

hide Christmas gifts from me

she could put it in plain sight and I probably just wouldn't see it

but you know what

other than that you should just not keep anything else

from your spouse

you know be an honest person

your spouse is not your enemy

they're not your adversary

and

the more you think that they are

the more miserable you're going to be

in your marriage

ok

you guys are a team

and so you know

Rachel is

no bueno

ok

she almost got herself killed

and you know

she's stealing false gods

I mean she's just like what are you

you're an idolater

like jacob pride doesn't even know that

so you're just like some

secret

worshipper of idols

what the heck

do you think no one's going to find out about this

like later she's just hiding it's crazy

you know

and look

if you have a spouse

that is strict about finances

don't try to hide purchases

right

like oh I don't want them to know

what I'm buying or whatever

you know be honest

and if you have trouble with spending then you know

get that

you know compare with your spouse

and say look this is what I want to buy

these are the things that I like to buy

and so you know

I'm not trying to keep this from you

but this is you know I like to buy apple pies

when I'm at work or something you know

I like to go to McDonald's

you know

don't be a person who's just hiding purchases

you're hiding things you're just a

deceptive person always

because you're afraid to be found out

you know your spouse already knows

that your clothes stink

they already know your flaws

they know the areas that you

fall short in

you're one with them

and so keep it that way

that you know

you're honest with them you're telling the truth

you're not hiding things from them

okay

and for sure let me also say this

and I could just finish off here because the rest of the story

you know they just kind of

they make a covenant between each other

they're not going to overstep their boundaries

blah blah blah and so forth

and then Laban just goes away

by the way this is a good chapter

to learn from

of what type of in-law you shouldn't be

don't be Laban

because Laban

he could just kiss his family goodbye

right

he could just kiss his family goodbye

because you know what Jacob's probably never going to bring

the kids and the wives

to go see

Laban anymore because he just doesn't like Laban

okay

whereas look if you play your cards right

parents

right you play your cards right

you know you don't have to worry about

oh man I'm never going to see him again

well if you're a good in-law you don't have to worry about that

they're going to bring him to you

but if you're just an unbearable

in-law

you're just constantly criticizing

you're wronging the spouse

you're doing all this evil stuff

you're being deceptive

you guys just can't get along

then guess what you probably won't see him again

and you know what we see here

that this is a good example of instances

where in-laws just have to separate

geographically sometimes

that's what

no amen's on that alright

scaredy cats

you know sometimes that's a good idea

look I get along

fairly well with my in-laws

because we're kind of far away from each other

you know

but I do get along with my in-laws

I make sure there's enough cities

between us

okay

sometimes I miss them

and sometimes I'll tell my wife

hey let's go see your family

because we haven't seen them

and we'll go see them

and then you know

once a year

you know but

the thing is that the distance

allows the heart to grow fonder

and therefore we're not at each other's necks

and obviously there was a time

early on in my marriage

where we were bumping heads a lot

and I was just kind of like in my mind

like you're never going to see

these kids ever again

kiss them goodbye

and the Lord is with me on this

you know and you know what really just

ticks me off about this story

just ticks me off

and it ticks off any

you know

red-blooded testosterone

man

is when Laban's like these are my daughters

these are my kids

these are my sons

and these are just like

what bro

no these are my wives

and these are my kids

they don't belong to you

you know Laban suffered a major consequence there

you know he could have been

he could have been like you know what

you're right you know he should be

like Jethro

Jethro is actually a really good father-in-law

he's an awesome father-in-law

and bro might be a pagan too

I don't know he's a priest

a medium that's all we know about him

but sometimes the children

of this world are much wiser than the children

of light

and you know you know because you have

Moses he sends back his wife

because she's just too contentious

she's big problems

okay

and then you know

because she's toxic

and then you know what does Jethro do

he brings her back

the funny thing about that story

is that when he brings her back

Moses doesn't go and hug his wife

he goes and he hugs his father-in-law

you know

and then you know Jethro

he's just like I brought your wife

and your children

like he knows his place

and the man is just wise

he gives him a lot of wisdom

and Moses enjoys his company

you know he's hanging out with him

that's a good father-in-law

you know very contrasting father-in-laws

here between Jethro and Laban

don't be Laban

and I'm going to work my hardest not to be like Laban

I want to be like Jethro to my son-in-laws

you know

my son-in-laws

you know

but I want to be able to get along with my son-in-laws

love my son-in-laws

have them over

and want them to have me in their lives

my wife in their lives and stuff

but you know we need to be like Jethro

not like Laban though

deceptive

overbearing

just getting involved

in the business

it's not natural my friends

it's not natural

to constantly have your in-laws in your life

just dictating everything that's going on

it's not natural

it's not natural for them to get involved in your marriage

it's not natural to have them get involved

in your child rearing

it's not natural unless you invite them in

let them know their boundaries though

okay

it's not natural

and it makes for a horrible relationship between you and your in-laws

and then you know what's going to happen

your husband Jacob is going to be like

hey we need to move back to Canaan

because I don't like it here anymore

you know

and so

I didn't even know what point I was going to make after that

or before that should I say

I mean that's good

you know

that's a good point to end off on

is that we need to make

what this chapter teaches us more than anything

is first and foremost

don't feel bad if you come

from a

a bad family

you know

just a disruptive family

just completely in disarray

and have all these problems

look because they did too

but what we can learn is that we need to make sure

we know our place

okay

we need to make sure that we know

that we need to be honest with our spouse

be kind

to our in-laws

be kind to our son-in-laws

be kind to our daughter-in-laws

and stay out of their business

okay

but if you get anything from this sermon get this

just understand this

we can't play favorites with people

especially if we're all on the same team

okay

and so let's pray. Father we thank you so much for your word

and thank you for these examples

that we have here Lord

help us as your people

to adopt these

principles Lord

we need to be honest with our spouses

we have a society that promotes deception

and

being deceptive towards husbands

and towards wives and keeping things from them

and keeping relationships

secret Lord

it's a godless thing to do

men should not have

secret relationships with other people

that their wife doesn't know about

it's a godless thing to do

it should be as open as possible

and I pray that you would

help us Lord as your people

to keep honesty in our

marriage and transparency

as well

and also Lord as I mentioned in the beginning

I pray that you would help us to be diplomatic in church

to not favor one over

the other to the point where we begin

to exclude others

and think evil of others

because of situations in the past

and I pray that you bless us as we go on our way Lord

we love you we thank you pray this things in Jesus name

Amen