HOLY SEXUALITY: The Prison of Porn

Chris McCurley: Morning. Thank you, Austin, for those songs. James, great job leading with the scripture reading. Gary, thank you for that prayer. You know, Steve DeLoach texted me this week. You know, we have a group text. If you're leading on Sunday morning, we have what we call the holy huddle down here. And we get together and we go over any last-minute instructions. We have a prayer. And so I text midweek, and everybody who's leading in the service, hey, we're gonna meet down front five minutes beforehand. And Steve Deloche responded with, it's been a while since I've led up front. I'll I'll come up with some short thoughts. And I said, Thank you, Steve. Short is good. And he said, Remember that. So Bob told me when I took the job here that if you can't take teasing, you're not going to make it. If you're visiting with us, we are in a series. We're looking at holy sexuality. We've talked about how we're identified and how culture tries to identify us. We've talked about what it means to be all in on God and surrendering our sexuality to Him. Next week we'll talk about the marriage of grace and truth. And this all leads up to Guy Hammond coming in a couple of weeks. Guy Hammond has been on the podcast. If you'd like to look at that episode, Guy is a wonderful man, lives in Canada. He wrote the book Gay and Christian question mark. He lived fourteen years of his life as a gay man and surrendered his Christianity to Christ. And he will be here, and the focus of his being here will be on biblical sexual ethics, but also how we can reach our LGBTQ neighbors with the gospel. And so he's gonna be here to spend the weekend with us, and I hope that you'll make plans to attend. And this morning, we're talking about pornography. Aren't you glad you came to visit this morning? You know, in nineteen eighty seven At the Severe County Courthouse lawn, the statue of Dolly Parton was unveiled. It was a bronze statue that featured Dolly barefoot, holding a guitar, and looking up at the Smoky Mountains. You may of you know Dolly is from Severeville, Tennessee, and When she had heard about the statue and that it was gonna be erected in her honor, she was she was beside herself. She was so excited and she wanted to go tell her father, and so she ran home to tell Lee Parton, her father, that hey, did you hear they're making a statue in my honor? And he said, Yeah, yeah, I heard that. He said, Just remember to many people you might be an idol, but to the pigeons you're just another outhouse. And besides the teasing, Lee Parton was very proud of his daughter. To the point that after he passed away in the year 2000, several years later, one of Dolly Parton's brothers revealed a family secret. That Lee Parton would regularly load up a an oil drum of soapy water and drive down to the Severe County Courthouse lawn and he would scrub Dolly's statue at night. To make sure that it was beautiful and pristine. Dolly said, when she heard that, she she bawled her eyes out. She said, I love my daddy so much. I was so proud of him, and I just wanted him to be proud of me. And that's what we all want, isn't it? We all want our father to be proud of us. And yes, our earthly father for sure, but our heavenly father. We want to make him proud. We want him to be proud of us. And when we fall short, we not only disappoint ourselves, but we feel bad because we've disappointed God. We've let him down. You know, this series on sexuality has been intended to uphold the ideal. The ideal that standard that God has for all of us. But there are times, as you know, when the ideal and the real intersect. And like we talked about a couple of weeks ago, God always upheld the ideal and Jesus always stooped down to the real. And so this series has been about how do we cope, how do we how do we deal with biblical sexual ethics when they confront our cultural sexual ethics? How do we uphold the ideal, especially when we go through the real? So once again I want to extend an invitation. If you're struggling. with who you are. You don't feel comfortable in your own skin. You don't know why God made you this way. You're attracted to someone of the same sex, whatever it is, just please, please know that I'm here for you, that we can talk. You can talk to Chris Hedge, you can talk to Chad or to Austin or one of our shepherds to Alex. We'd love to sit down with you. But if you're struggling and you maybe you're thinking about doing harm to yourself, please, please, before you take any action, come come and see us. I promise that we will do our best to assist and provide hope. And this morning we're continuing our series by examining the prison of pornography. And to say that pornography is a pervasive problem in our world, even in the church, would be a massive understatement. And again, if you are someone who is trapped in a prison of pornography, then please know we're we're here to help. And and much of the advice that we give is is rather churchy instead of constructive and this is not a a sermon intended to bludgeon you over the head, but as with any sermon, the intention is to to help. And if you're struggling with this issue, if pornography is something that has imprisoned you, then hopefully this lesson will kick start your heart and make you want to escape. But the first order of business is we have to confront the lies. And line number one is this your body is not separate and apart from your true self. That's what culture wants to wants to say. It's even within the church, we we talk about this, unfortunately. The Christian view of sexual ethics is not a set of rules, it is a unique perspective concerning the human body that God has given you. And why do we start here? Because your body is important. What you do with your body is vitally important. We were created in the image of God. In fact, the human body is the pinnacle of God's creation. Of course, mankind perverted that image, but God redeemed the original intent of the body, and we get a new redeemed body in eternity. But unfortunately, many Christians have bought into this idea that the body just houses this the soul, that that the body's disposable. It's like Tupperware. The body's the container, and what really matters is the essence or what's in inside. And folks, that is a thought that is completely foreign to the Bible. Here's the deal you don't have a soul. You are a soul. And the human soul is comprised of both body and spirit. The Jews didn't buy into this false dichotomy that so many believe and teach. Soul and body were not separate and distinct parts of one human. That's a Greek thought, not a Jewish one. When Paul talked about the soul, he was talking about the whole. It's not that the soul is the essence and the body is disposable, it doesn't matter. That thinking and that teaching actually is closer to Gnosticism. You remember Gnosticism was a heresy that the first century church was forced to deal with? Gnosticism basically says that the soul is is inherently pure, the spiritual is inherently pure, and the material is intrinsically evil, and therefore what really matters is the spiritual part of you and the body is just disposable because it's it's evil. Many in the realm of Christendom have long held the belief that the physical is bad and decaying, and and what really matters is the spiritual. That's the good part of us that we should be clinging to. But I want you to look at Genesis chapter 2 and verse 7. It's from the King James Version. And the Lord God formed man out of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul. King James Version uses the word Nefesh, which means soul. The NASB renders it person. The NIV renders it as a being. Use the ESV. It refers to the soul as creature. But I want you to notice that the language here indicates that a soul was not something that Adam had. It's who he was. Incidentally, Nefesh is not a term reserved only for humans. Nefesh is also used for animals. Any living Creature. Anything that has the breath of life is a soul. And so if the breath of life has left a human or an animal, then the fesh remains, just a dead nephesh or a corpse. And notice that I didn't say that all creatures have a soul. They are a soul. Now, being a soul is not what separates us from the animals. What separates from what separates us from a giraffe is or a cat or a dog. I mean we're all in the feshas, but what separates us? The fact that we were made in the image of God, that we're stamped in his own image. You are different because your identity is taken from God. You are stamped with his image, and that's what makes you special. And when you're washed in the waters of baptism, you become a temple of the Holy Spirit. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. The Bible's pro-body. God is pro-human body. Your body is not separate and apart from your true self. Your body matters. And what you do with your body matters. Again, the Christian view of sexuality is not simply a set of rules. It's an understanding of what the body is, what the body is used for, how the body is defiled by sin, how the body is is redeemed by God's love, how the body is a temple of God's Spirit, how the body is to be used in God's service, and how the body will be raised forever. And pornography Promotes a false and harmful narrative about the human body, what it is, what it's used for. Pornography's narrative is a direct contradiction to the gospel narrative. The gospel says God is love and God loves the body because he made it and therefore glorify God in it. But pornography says the human body is a toy and was made for pleasure. Pornography objectifies the human body, it's dehumanizing. So we confront the lie. We confront the lie and we start with the fact that the body matters. It matters immensely. It matters to God because He created it for a purpose. He gave it life. He redeemed it. And therefore, how we use it matters. And we must use it for its intended purpose. Remember these words from Paul? I appeal to you, therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what the will of God is, what is good and acceptable and perfect. So First thing we must do when we confront the lie is that your body matters. It's not disposable, it's not separate and apart. It matters. Here's the second lie we have to confront. Pornography doesn't hurt anyone. It's a victimless crime. You've heard that, right? It's just me in front of a screen. It doesn't hurt anyone. There's a website I'd like to point you to. It's got some great information. It's called fightthenwrug.org. Fightthenwru.org and and the statistics that are listed on it are astounding. You could probably have guessed it, but but listen to these statistics. 73% of teens have looked at porn. In a 2023 study, all participants stated that they were exposed to porn by age twelve. Another fifteen percent reported that they saw it for the first time at the age of 10 or younger. 53% of boys and 39% of girls believe that pornography is a realistic depiction of sex. Research shows that people who consume porn tend to become less satisfied in their relationships, less committed to their partner, and more accepting of cheating. At least one in three porn videos show sexual violence or aggression. Research involving former and current porn performers. suggests that exploitation and trafficking are common experiences in the porn industry, with pornography ranking as the second most common form of trafficking reported to the National Human Trafficking Hotline. And we could go on with statistic after statistic, but the numbers are not good. The research in its wholeness does nothing but shed a negative light on the porn industry. It's anything but victimless. I know you hear that, it's a victimless crime. I I'm just sitting in the privacy of my own home watching actors on the screen. It's not hurting anyone, but nothing could be further from the truth. Listen to these stats. Pornography has been linked to many other damaging behaviors. Modern sex trafficking shares a variety of symbiotic relationships to pornography. Sex trafficking victims can be coerced, forced, or tricked into pornography production. Porn can be used to groom trafficking victims and train them on what is expected. Porn can normalize sexual violence and the objectification of men and women to the extent that in some cases the desensitization of consumers can mess manifest itself in more exploitation and sex trafficking. And here's the deal. When you watch pornography, You're participating in this. When you watch porn, you're participating in this. You are participating in the harm done to others. You're you're a player in this. The idea that pornography doesn't hurt anyone is a lie, it hurts everyone. Everyone involved. It hurts the participant, it hurts the consumer. You ever heard of Reynold III? He was one time Duke of what is now Belgium. And Raynald was a big man. in Latin he was referred to as Crassus, which means fat. So he was referred to as Reynold the Fat. he had an insatiable desire for food. There was a conflict with his brother Edward, and he was overthrown. And Edward, instead of killing his brother, had him put in a prison. It was really just a a room that had windows and a door. The door wasn't locked, the windows weren't locked. He could escape at any time except that he was too big. he couldn't get out of room. And every day Edward would send the the choicest foods to Reynold's cell and and if he had any sort of self-control, he could have lost weight, he could have left that prison at any time. But instead every day he just gorged himself on the food. In fact, Edward was criticized for how he was treating his brother, and he said, I'm not I'm not detaining him. He can leave at any time. But he chose instead to keep eating and keep eating. Until finally he was released when Edward passed away, but he was so unhealthy that he died shortly after that, a prisoner to his own appetites. Yeah, that's what happens. As prisoners of pornography, they come to love the prison. And it's a prison of self-indulgence, and after a while the individual prefers the prison. And research shows that pornography actually changes the way that we think. It it re-hardwires the brain. Years ago there was a man by the name of Nicholas Timbergen, and and he did this study on butterflies, and he was noticing how butterflies would react to the movements of their mate. And and so they would see a mate and they would see the beautiful vivid colors on the butterfly and then also how it moved, and that was attractive to the butterfly. And so Nicholas Tinburgeon decided to create some fake butterflies, and he greatly exaggerated the colors, and he greatly exaggerated the movements to where they were overly exaggerated, really, and he called this supernormal. Stimulus. Normal stimulus would be, hey, butterflies are attracted to other butterflies because of their color and because of their movements. This he called supernormal stimulus because the butterflies were not only more attracted to the fake ones, they ended up preferring the fake ones. They wanted nothing to do with the real, authentic butterflies. Here's what psychology today had to say about this. Studies have also shown That pornography may miswire reward circuits, causing sexual dysfunction and reinforcing dependence on porn. Again, research shows that pornography can change the way a person thinks. It messes with your brain. Look, when something is enjoyable, when something is pleasurable, that thing, whatever it is, is reinforced. And we as human beings have a natural propensity toward certain stimulus. We're weird that way in that, you know, we just we we like what brings us pleasure. It's how we're hardwired. For instance, we have a natural stimulus toward reproduction. We have a natural stimulus towards sexuality and sexual encounters, but pornography perverts this. Pornography is fake stimulus. We might call it supernormal stimulus. It exaggerates the normal stimulus. And it lures one in with its over-the-top portrayal of sex and sexuality to the point that a person can even begin to prefer the fake over the real. Some of you know musician John Mayer, he said this: I'm more comfortable in my imagination than I am in my. in actual human discovery. And that's really the voice of of a large number of our population. What John Mayer is saying here is being backed up by the research. Studies show that consumption of porn can lead to a miswiring of the brain, which can lead to the consumer preferring the fantasy over the reality. They begin to prefer the prison. They're not really trapped, they can leave at any time. But instead they become a prisoner of their own appetite. Like Reynold III. Pornography shapes our expectations, but they are unrealistic expectations. Real life involves real people, and pornography changes the way we see people, the way we interact with people, the way we treat people. Your fantasies affect your reality. You cannot participate in an industry that objectifies people, traffics people, and is not affect and that not affect the way you treat other people. So pornography is not in any way a victimless crime. It damages our relationship with God, it damages our relationship with our spouse, it damages our relationship with other people. It's a false, harmful narrative, and so don't buy the lie. And you say, okay. Thank you, Chris. Appreciate that. There's got to be some practical application, doesn't there? It's not enough just to say, hey, don't do this. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Grit your teeth. Try harder. Come to church more. Read your Bible more. Pray more, right? It's always the answer. We've got to have a strategy if we're going to escape the prison. And you've probably learned that your won't power is way greater than your willpower. So what do you do? Well, James describes a process for us in very simplistic terms. Notice what he says: James 1:14 and 15. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then, when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Why do you think a mouse gets caught in a mouse trap? I mean part of the reason is because it has this little tiny brain that can't figure out that it's a trap, but a mousetrap doesn't look like a mousetrap to a mouse. It just sees the food and it it it wants that food. It wants it more than anything, and so it will risk its life for a nibble. A mousetrap doesn't look like a mousetrap to a mouse. And when you look at the cycle of sin and specifically when we're talking about pornography, we'll sacrifice just about anything and everything to have Whatever it is that entices us. Some sacrifice their job, their their family, their their children, ultimately their soul, for even a nibble of the bait. And so the process begins with James saying it it's temptation, or we could say desire. We talked about this a little bit last week. I said attraction itself is not the sin. And when you look at The fulfillment of that desire or that attraction is when James says, Yeah, now you set in motion a series of events. You know, Matthew five twenty eight talks about desire or attraction as lustful intent. You know, the word used for lust and desire is really nuanced. Talked about this a little bit last week. Epithumia is the word used in James one fourteen and fifteen, and it simply means a a strong desire, intense longing or craving, but it's really a a morally neutral term. But in Matthew 5 28 the word is epithymao and it is referring to a a target, lustful intent, an actively looking to indulge the desire. Now, tempted or temptation is a completely different word, and here it's parasitai, and it refers to being tested. And we know that temptation isn't the sin, because Jesus was tempted but without sin. But James tells us that once we say yes. To the temptation. Once we give in to the desire, we set in motion a chain of events that resemble childbirth. Once the egg has been fertilized, certain developments take place that leads to new life being born. And that new life's name is sin. And he is not a welcome child. There's no celebration over this birth. But not only does temptation conceive and give birth to sin, but sin in turn also becomes apparent, and the name of that child is death. In other words, sin begets death. The sin cycle is a life cycle. Unchecked temptation gives birth to sin, and when sin is full grown, it too becomes apparent and gives birth to death. And so if we want to avoid the trap, if we want to break the cycle, then where do we start? We start with temptation. We start with passing the test. We start with dealing with our desires. And how we deal with temptation will determine what follows, good or bad. Matthew chapter five, verse twenty seven. You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery, but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out, throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. Jesus says you can't draw the line at adultery. You can't just say, Well, I've been faithful to now to my wife for thirty, forty, fifty years, I've never cheated on her. You can't let your mind run wild and then stop short of sin. The mind is where our actions begin. And it's your eyes and your hands and your heart. It's your responsibility to be willing to be aggressive in dealing with it. No more excuses. How bad do you want this? No more lies, no more worshiping at the altar of sex. You gotta smash the idol, ignore the lies, and embrace the offer. Notice Ephesians four. Now this I say and testify in the Lord that You must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds, and They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity, but that is not the way you learned Christ. Assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires. And to be renewed in the spirit of your minds and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Now, pornography would definitely fall into this category, right? We could see that. Don't keep going back to the thing that bites you. Quit feeding the hand that bites you. Embrace the offer. Skip down to verse twenty eight. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. So it's not just about quitting the bad behavior. The thief must stop stealing, but he also must get to work. He must focus his energies elsewhere. Breaking the cycle of sin isn't just about quitting the bad behavior and not acting on the bad desire. It's about living a transformed life. And look, I don't I don't want to come across as harsh or mean this morning. I fully realize that there may be someone or many someones that are sitting here this morning dealing with this. Many of you may be a a consumer of por pornography. But let me say this. Porn facilitates the selfish and lazy theft of another's body. If you're engaged in pornography, you're a thief. You are stealing someone else's body and putting it away into the dark recesses of your heart. That body doesn't belong to you, it's theft. But Jesus offers to forgive the thief and transform the thief into someone who uses their body to glorify God. Galatians 5, 16 and 17. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh, for the flesh sets its desire against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh, for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. Self-control is about God control, really. It's not about the self at all. It's about giving up the self. It's about surrendering the self and letting God tame your will to his will. It's about letting the spirit fill you and lead you. It's about being done with yourself altogether. We might moderately, moderately be successful in avoiding some behaviors on our own, but you will never, never escape the prison of porn without surrendering to Jesus. What we should be seeking is a whole new self that's living in a whole new direction. You know what the most adhered to sign is? The sign that most people pay attention to. Do you know what it is? It's not dry clean only, although that one's up there. It's not handle with care, although that one's popular as well. No, the sign that most people pay attention to is this. Out of order. Now, that's a sign that represents inconvenience, doesn't it? It's not a sign that we accept with any sort of positivity. The words out of order. represents something being amiss or not functioning properly. And I am confident that every single one of us have worn this sign around our neck at some point. Maybe you're wearing it today. Maybe it weighs heavy around your neck. This this whole series has been has been about biblical sexual ethics versus cultural sexual ethics, and culture holds a lot of sway. And many folks, many Christians, in fact, have been influenced by the culture and even adopted the culture's ethic. But culture is out of order on a lot of things, and it is certainly out of order when it comes to sexual ethics. And so. close this morning by asking is the out of order sign weighing heavy around your neck? And Kyle, we're not calling you out. Sorry. That wasn't supposed to be up there. Does the out-of-order sign hang heavy around your neck? Are you looking to get out of prison? Are you ready for some truth? I encourage you this morning to embrace the offer to come as we stand and as we sit.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention James 1:14