HOLY SEXUALITY: The Marriage of Grace & Trut

Chris McCurley: If you're visiting with us, we are finishing a series on sexuality. We've been talking about who we are in Christ and how that defines us. Culture will try to define you in a lot of different ways based on your ethnicity, your political leanings, or your sexuality. And we've talked about how at your core you are made in the image of God. And that you are a Christian, a disciple, and that's what defines you. That is that says everything about you. And so this morning we're wrapping it up and talking about the marriage of grace and truth. I want you to look with me at John chapter 1, starting in verse 17. John writes, For the law was given through Moses, grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ. It's kind of, you know, which wing of an airplane is the most important? Like both are, right? You need both of them. And of course that is what John is referring to here, grace and truth. One's not more important than the other. You need both of them. And if I were to ask you where in the Gospel of John do you find a wedding scene, most of you I think would reply with, Well, it's John chapter two, right? This the wedding at Cana where Jesus performed his first miracle. But I would say right here. The wedding that happens right here in John one seventeen. Is more important than all the other wedding scenes that we find in the Bible. It's the marriage of grace and truth. Now, unfortunately, there are some Christians who divorce these two. they perhaps are strong on the truth and lack the compassion and grace needed to present it. And then there are some who are really Soft on the on the on the grace and and and and compassion part, and therefore they're really, really tough, really harsh. Both keep people from Jesus. Attempts to soften the gospel by minimizing truth keeps people from Jesus. And attempts to toughen the gospel by minimizing grace. keeps people from Jesus. Notice again it says, for the law was given through through Moses, grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ. Too many Christians want to slip an oar where there's an and. It's not grace or truth. It's grace and truth This is not an either or proposition. It's both and. Jesus wasn't 50% grace and 50% truth. He was 100% grace, 100% truth all the time. It's not like, you know, he had to set aside the truth when he wanted to be compassionate or set aside compassion when he wanted to come down hard on somebody. No, Jesus' grace and truth were always in perfect harmony. They were a perfect marriage, not a contradiction. Now there are two ditches here that we should all avoid at all cost. There is the truth-only ditch, and there is the grace-only ditch. And both are detrimental to the cause of Christ. Both are unloving. Everyone seems to be concerned about being liberal or progressive, and no one seems to be concerned with being a Pharisee. And both are wrong. Some Christians even Default to the Pharisaical side and say, well, at least that's better than being progressive. No, it's not. It's not better. It's wrong. Both of these are ditches that we need to stay out of. Look, going to hell isn't in anyone's best interest, right? It's just not. If you are willing to withhold the truth for s from someone in the name of grace, then you don't really love them. And if you're willing to bash someone over the head with truth, And remove grace from the equation, then you don't really love someone. Any concept of grace that makes someone feel more comfortable about their sin is unbiblical. It's cheap. But presenting truth in a way that shows God to be uncaring and unloving can be just as detrimental. Jesus was full of grace and truth. And you know what? Some people loved him and some people hated him. And we probably should expect no less. All too often, though, we are imbalanced, we're heavy on one at the expense of the other. Pharisees were people of conviction but no compassion, and obviously we want to avoid following in their footsteps. On the other hand, there are folks who are full of grace and and compassion, but but not truth, and therefore they're like building a foundation on shifting sand. There's no real standard or maybe even morals, they're just merely sentimental. And Paul spoke about this kind of imbalance in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, beginning in verse 1. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, And if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. You can be straight as a gun barrel doctrinally, and as empty as a gun barrel spiritually. Let me repeat that. You can be straight as a gun barrel doctrinally and empty as a gun barrel spiritually. And in essence, that what that is what Paul is saying here. You can be right doctrinally, but you must be right devotionally as well. And I think Paul's message could really be summed up like this: do right things with the right heart. Conviction means very little without compassion. So first and foremost, I think we all need to look inward. Let's look at ourselves before we look outside of ourselves. Let's not look down on others because maybe they sin differently than we do. Understand, these are not issues. They're people. It's not us versus them. We were all made in the image of God, and therefore everyone has value to our Maker. And so, with this in mind, I want to spend our time this morning examining five truths. On the topic of sexuality, same-sex attraction, the biblical sexual ethic that we've been talking about in this series. These truths are not just for those people, people outside of our community and outside these walls. They're for us. We need these truths as much as anyone so that we can be better equipped to reach our friends and our neighbors who may be struggling or who may have a different view. on this subject. So let's start with this. A desire to sin does not mean that you are a sinner. It means that you're a human. Orientation does not equal practice. You know, we all have a propensity towards sin. Every single one of us. And there's not a single one of us who are immune to temptation. Your temptation may be different than mine and vice versa, but we all struggle with desires that are opposed to the will of God. You know who else dealt with temptation? Jesus. Yet he was without sin. That's why we know that temptation is not the sin itself, that orientation also does not equal practice. Also, though, remember that orientation is not license either. So orientation is not the sin, but orientation is not license either. What I mean by that is I have a pro propensity towards women. Right? So I that is my attraction, always has been. However, I can't sleep with any woman I want to. That's my orientation, but it's not license to just go against the will of God and sleep with any woman I want to. So orientation is not license. When the Bible talks about pornea, which is sexual immorality, it's talking about behavior. It's not talking about temptation. And Satan would love nothing more than for you to believe that because you are tempted, that you are damaged goods. Look at how pitiful you are. How could God use you for anything? I mean you should just you should just stay locked up in a prison of low self-esteem and self-deprecation. And as long as you believe that orientation is sin, you're gonna live in this prison of self-doubt and self-loathing. People who are same-sex attracted didn't ask for the temptation any more than you asked for whatever it is that tempts you. So the church must be careful not to shame folks for their temptation. We can't be afraid of someone who expresses that they maybe are same-sex attracted. We cannot penalize for such. They're not in a different category than us who all deal with temptation. All of us need help at times in overcoming temptation. Secondly, it is not the church's job to discipline or to express anger. Toward unbelievers for their sin. It is our role to share with them love and forgiveness that is found in Christ. It is true that if you are a disciple, if you are in Christ, you are held to a different standard, namely the standard of God. But people who have committed to discipleship, we know this. We know what 1 Corinthians chapter 5 says about church discipline. But that doesn't apply to those who are outside of our fellowship, those who are, as Paul would say, in the world. And so they don't need us being angry with them. It's not our job to be hostile towards them. It's not even our job to be shocked. Why are we surprised that someone who doesn't share our ethic or our beliefs would not agree with our ethic or our beliefs? So resorting to hostility or anger. Just slams the door. But what happens all too often is we turn on the TV, we turn on the news, and and and we see the extremes, right? And and and you can cut the vitriol with a knife. We see, you know, these different news reports about different groups of people who are doing things that that we don't agree with, and we just we we make a blanket assumption, a generalization. Don't do that. Don't let another's actions dictate how you respond. Because there are many folks dealing with and struggling with same-sex attraction. There are others who don't struggle with it that embrace it, but either way, it is not your job to punish. It's your job to proclaim. Proclaim what Jesus has done for me and what he can do for you. Paul speaks on this very idea in 1 Corinthians chapter 5, starting in verse 9. He says, I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people. Not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world or the greedy and swindlers or idolaters. Since then you would need to go out of the world, but now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler, not even to eat with such a one, for what have I to do with judging outsiders? It is not those inside is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside, purge the evil from among you. Paul is talking about church discipline, but not for those who are outside of Christ. He's talking about those who are in the church. Those are the ones we discipline. Those are the ones he says to to avoid if they are engaged in these types of sins in the hopes to restore them, to bring them back. He says, Don't associate with sexually immoral people. And then he clarifies, I'm not saying those outside the world. Talking about those in the church. Because they're held to a different standard. Those outside of Christ don't need you to shame them. It's not your job to distance yourself from them and say, I don't want anything to do with you. That's not the church's job. In fact, it's quite the opposite. And when we do that, we we slam a door, a door of opportunity. Instead of showing them Jesus, we show them the door. And there is a place for discipline and accountability within the church, but those outside the church need people who will share. the love of Christ and the truth of God's word. Stay in the conversation. Discipleship takes time. You hear the story this week about the gentleman who was baptized at at Horizon? It was all over social media. It's actually a phone call from from Far Lowry. She probably wouldn't want me mentioning her name, but she called me to say that this man wants to be baptized and and they're looking for a baptistry, and so I was heading to Jackson, Tennessee, and she called up Chad. Either way, they they found out how to get this gentleman baptized who was late in his years and and in the hospital. That's discipleship takes time, doesn't it? You never know how long it's going to take someone to obey the gospel. Look at Titus chapter three. Anderson read it a moment ago. Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect court courtesy to all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness of loving kindness of our God and our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior. So that being justified by his grace, we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. Your job is to show courtesy to all people. Why? Because we haven't always been this way. We were once in darkness. We were once outside of Christ. We were once engaging in things that were unhealthy and unrighteous, and some of us still do that, right? All of us still sin at times. We were we weren't always disciples. We used to be foolish and disobedient and led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures. And if it weren't for Jesus, we'd still be that way. But the gospel changed you. And remember, when you're dealing with those outside of Christ, you came from where they're at. Here's another one. Discipleship requires surrendering every aspect of our lives, including our sexuality. I've said it before, but discipleship begins with a funeral. You must let God kill that old sinful self and create something new. There has to be a rebirth. Discipleship cannot be compartmentalized. This is an all or nothing proposition. Which means That I cannot say I love God, but I w I I w I I want to follow Jesus, but I want to hang on to something else that is maybe sinful, unrighteous, wicked, whatever. I can't say I love God, I want to follow Jesus, but I want to hang on to my sexual preference, perhaps. Whether we're talking about sex with the same sex or sex with the opposite sex outside the confines of marriage, whether we're talking about adultery or pornography or whatever, I cannot follow Jesus without following his will for my life in every facet of my life. You cannot hold anything back. When you were baptized, you signed up for apprenticeship. And apprenticeship has has three aspects. Be with your rabbi, become like your rabbi, and do as your rabbi does. For Jesus the point of apprenticeship was to be with him so that you could be like him. And that means Surrendering every part of your life to him, including your sexuality. First Corinthians six, starting in verse eighteen. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price, so glorify God in your body. You know, we've already stated that the biblical definition of marriage and sexuality is one man, one woman, and a covenant relationship for life. That is the goal, that is the ideal that we've talked about. Everything outside this covenant arrangement is labeled in Scripture as pornea or sexual immorality. Pornea is found twenty-six times in the New Testament. It's a problem then and Of course it's a problem today. Our sexual ethic is not just about rules. It's about the body. Like we talked about last week, two weeks ago, as well, your body is not disposable. Your body matters. It matters what you do with your body, because sin defiles the body. Jesus purifies the body. And as a result, your body becomes a temple of this Holy Spirit. So so when you use your body for immortality, you are defiling the temple of God. And there are people who would never even think about taking a secular symbol and and and disgracing it. There's folks who would never think about stomping on it or or or burning it because it's sacred, and yet they'll turn around and defile this temple through engaging in immorality. The flag's not sacred, but your body is. And when we look at pornography or having sex with someone who is not your spouse, or in the case of Paul writing here, same-sex relationships, we're defiling the temple. If you're going to sign up for discipleship, this is the decision that you're making. And nobody's forcing this decision. But if you choose this life, then you have to surrender everything. If you're like me, I have friends from the LGBTQ community who have taught me so much about discipleship. One of them we're going to talk about here in a minute. Guy Hammond, I had him on the podcast recently. If you haven't been able to look at that podcast, I'd highly recommend it. He does such a great job, and of course he's going to be with us next week. Don't be fooled into believing that this applies to someone else. This applies to all of us. All of us must surrender every facet of our lives, including our sexuality. The biblical sexual ethic is about more than do this, don't do that. It's a unique way of looking at life and looking at the body. You are a temple of the Holy Spirit. Don't defile what Jesus has purified. And there's also this. Be open to improving the way you read Scripture. But guard against changing Scripture to fit your narrative. This is important for all of us. I've heard people say, well, I don't interpret the Bible. I just let the Bible interpret itself. Baloney. Everybody interprets the Bible. Everybody interprets everything that they read. You can't avoid it. Everyone is an interpreter. Doesn't matter what you're reading. It's the Bible or something else. You are interpreting as you read. The problem is when we interpret Scripture to fit some preconceived agenda. There is what the Scripture says, and there is what I would prefer it to say. And the latter happens a lot nowadays, both in the church and outside of the church, especially as it pertains to this discussion that we're having this morning on sexuality and sexual ethics. There have been many discussions that I've had with friends of mine. That as they speak, I think, I saw that same thing on TikTok. I saw that same thing on social media. We do realize how much social media is a affecting our thinking, don't we? Maybe not ours specifically, but those in our culture? Are you going to God's word to find the will of God? Or are you going to God's word to find what you already want to do anyway? And man, that's something that applies to all of us, doesn't it? But I I think it's important. To mention a few of the main points of discussion, debate that is out there. There's two or three main arguments, and I want to bring these up, not to be combative, but rather to rightly divide the word of God. Do we even know what these debates center around? Do we even know what we need to say or what we mean to say when we are approached or confronted with these arguments? Here's here's the first one. Jesus never condemned same-sex relationships. You've probably heard this argument. Jesus never mentioned homosexuality. He never mentioned same-sex relationships. And that is true. He didn't. He also never mentioned pornography or human trafficking. But he did mention sexual immorality. That word pornea. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. There's that word pornea again. It always means sexual immorality. And understand that when a rabbi used this word, he had in mind. Everything concerning the law of Moses and what it had to say on any and every subject, including this one. This would include Leviticus 20 and verse 13. Man, a tough piece of scripture for sure. Notice what it says. If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination, they shall surely be put to death. Their blood is upon them. So that seems harsh, right? And somebody arguing may say, Well, do we need to be stoned to death if we believe in same-sex relationships? And no, we were never under the law. We were never Jews. We never would have operated under this law. We were Gentiles. We were always the ones on the outside looking in. We don't stone people because of Jesus, right? Because Jesus came. He always upheld the ideal, but he always stooped down to the real. But also Jesus agreed with everything in the law of Moses and what it had to say on every subject, including this one. Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have not to come to abolish them, but to fulfill them. For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one Ioda, not a dot will pass from the law until it all is accomplished. So the law was very specific conter concerning sexual immorality, specifically same-sex relations, and how such is contrary to the will of God. And Jesus came to write the law on our hearts. Something that was meant to be spiritual had become rote and mechanical. And Jesus was changing that by writing it on our hearts. Secondly, Paul condemned prostitution and sexual abuse and idolatrous worship, but never monogamous, loving, same-sex relationships. And this argument really. fails to consider how rampant sexual immorality was in Rome in the day. Rampant would be an understatement. Same-sex relations, sexual immorality in all its forms, sex with young boys. It was rampant. And Paul addressed this. For this reason, God gave them up to dishonorable passions, for their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature, and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. Paul says that. Such behavior is outside of God's design. You may also remember that the early church got together to have a meeting. This takes place in Acts chapter 15. The early church gets together to have a meeting about, you know, we've got all these Gentiles coming into the church. What parts of the old law are we going to keep and what parts are we going to dispose of? And it says. that they looked at all the different areas. They decided idol worship has to still stay. You can't worship idols. You can't make a graven image. No drinking blood. Okay, yeah, that sounds good. No sexual immorality. That was included. And again, this council is discussing what parts of the law of Moses they're going to be bound on every Gentile coming into the church. It's not everything, the whole wearing fabric that's had that has you know two different fibers, things that didn't make the cut. You know, the kosher laws, that didn't make the cut, but sexual immorality did. And every time the apostles spoke to the Gentiles about what was expected of them, they were told, you have to stop with the pornea, the sexual immorality, which included same-sex relationships. Here's another one. The word homosexual is a mistranslation and doesn't actually appear anywhere in Scripture. And this is partly true. I mean there there is some truth to this. But remember when folks living in ancient times talked about sexuality, they didn't talk in terms of heterosexual, homosexual. They didn't identify themselves that way. They identified them s identified themselves as children of God. Sex was related to behavior, not your identity. So in that case, that would have been very foreign to them. But also you have the problem of taking an English word or an English concept and transferring it to ancient Greek, right? And finding a word that that is applicable. Yeah, we say things like it's raining cats and dogs. Translate that into the Greek. They don't know what that means. I know we always say you want a word for word translation. That's the best. And that's true. But even a word for word translation is not always word for word because there's not always words for words. Does that make sense? Here's the the passage that is kind of in the crosshairs. 1 Corinthians chapter 6, verses 9 through 11. Or do you not know. That the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God. Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and by the Spirit of our God. So this is the passage that is most often offered up when the argument is made that homosexuality is not a word that appears in Scripture. But the word that is used here in the ESV is translated men who practice homosexuality. What's actually going on in the Greek is even more graphic. There's two words. One refers to the passive male partner in male sex, and the other refers to the active partner in male sex. And that's what's being condemned in this passage. The Greek is arsenal arsenokoitase, which is a rather complex word. Arsenokoitase is arsane male, and koite, which is bed or couch, but with a sexual connotation. The literal translation would be male betters, B-E-D-D-E-R-S. So. It is true that terms like gay and homosexual, or terms that would have been peculiar to Paul, but it's still impossible to miss what he's referring to here in 1 Corinthians chapter 6. And remember, sexual immorality is mentioned here, and it's an all-encompassing term. Pornea is all encompassing. It refers to sexual sin in all its forms. And while the translation of men who practice sex homosexuality here may be debated, the word That we should use to convey what Paul is getting at here is arsenal coites. At the end of the day, he's speaking out against sexual relations that happen outside the covenant of marriage in all of its forms: male, female, one man, one woman for life. The messaging throughout the New Testament is about what we do with our bodies, remember. But here's something else. The church must show kindness and patience towards those who are contemplating discipleship. If someone is questioning whether discipleship is worth the cost, let's say to them, I hear you. Let's keep the door open and let's have this conversation as long as it takes. Because there are folks out there who just don't know if it's worth it. That feel like they're giving up everything to follow Jesus. And if they're considering the cost, which is what Jesus told us to do, he told any prospective disciple to consider the cost. If they're considering the cost, then let's be patient with them. Let's listen to them and let's help them to see that, it's so worth it, right? That whatever you have to give up, it is worth it. I want to walk beside them in that decision, don't you? I I want to help someone who is contemplating discipleship to understand that this is the best way to live. Guy Hammond will be with us next week. Guy Hammond has written a book called Gay and Christian Question Mark. if you hadn't read the book, I highly recommend it. I'm sure he'll mention that in his seminar next weekend. I highly recommend Looking on the Strength and Weakness website and just learning all you can about Guy. He's a wonderful human being, and I look forward to you getting to meet him next week. He's coming down from Toronto, Canada, so he talks a little funny, but other than that, you will love him. Guy is a same sex attracted man who became a Christian in 1987. Before that, he lived the gay lifestyle to the fullest. He more than satisfied every desire that he had. But he came across Scripture, he started studying, and after a while realized that he couldn't live the life he was currently living, and proclaimed to be a disciple. Here's a quote from him. The Lord, in his perfect timing, sent someone who invited me back to church. I was skeptical at first. But I knew I needed help desperately, so I pushed through the fear. I took two years, it took two years of going to that church, hearing the word, building relationships with godly men and women with whom I felt safe and trying to figure things out before I was finally convinced that I wanted Jesus more than I wanted homosexuality. Guy got married, had children, his first wife Kathy, passed away. He's now married to Laura. His story is interesting because Guy is still same-sex attracted. That didn't change. But he realized I have to surrender my sexuality if I'm going to live the life of a disciple. Here's another woman that I've learned a lot from. This is Lori Craig. If you've heard of her, maybe you haven't. You can go to LaurieCraig.com, K-R-I-E-G, I believe it is. Lori's awesome. When I almost left my husband for another woman, I was starting to believe what the world preached. Our marriage was doomed because the attraction toward my husband had died. This reality was obnoxious but simultaneously helpful because as much as I wanted to be marital wanted to be the marital exception in order to claim the get out of marriage free card, deep down it was nice to know I wasn't so alone. I wasn't a freak. We weren't so different. Maybe we aren't in such an impossible marriage. These two same sex attracted individuals have taught me so much about discipleship, and I am so grateful for their willingness to talk about their struggles, how they've managed to cope, and we need to be echoing the same message, putting ourselves in their shoes and saying, I I may not know what it's like. I may not know what it's like, but I know what Jesus is capable of. And the church must proclaim this message that we are God's children, that we must embody the message that Jesus can be trusted with every facet of our life, including our sexuality. And we surrender that to Him because we can trust Him with all of it, everything, including our sexuality. And as Christians, we must not undermine this message. Please hear me. Do not undermine this message. By being hostile, by being hypocritical, by slamming a door, don't undermine the message that Jesus is everything and that He can take you where you're at, but not leave you there. That discipleship is worth it. If the message that Jesus is the answer is truly the message, then don't undermine that message. Let's pray. Most kind and gracious Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Thank you so much for this church, for this opportunity to be here. Help us with the difficult subjects. Help us, God, as we as we seek to reach our friends and our neighbors, our family members with the gospel. May we never slam a door, may we always keep it open, and may we always be Jesus to those around us. May we be a people who are a personification of grace and truth. We love you, and it's in your Son's precious name we pray. Amen. I've said it a couple of times in this series, and I'll continue to say it. If you're someone who is struggling in this area, if you're someone who doesn't feel comfortable in your own skin, why did God make me this way? Please, please come and talk to someone. Let us let us help you. Let us love on you. And my guess is all of us at some point have or will struggle with pornea sexual immorality in all its forms. And if you need help with that as well, come and see me. I I know that an invitation like this is pretty difficult. And so please understand, you can answer this invitation in a lot of different ways, and you certainly don't have to answer it this morning. You can come and talk to me or one of our other ministers or shepherds at some point, and we'd love to speak with you about this. Steve's got a song? We can help you in any way. Why don't you come as we stand and as we sing?

John 1 · chapter mention 1 Corinthians 13 · chapter mention 1 Corinthians 5 · chapter mention 1 Corinthians 5 · chapter mention Acts 15 · chapter mention 1 Corinthians 6:9–11 1 Corinthians 6 · chapter mention