Friends Come and Go AUGUST 30, 2026 Pastor Matthew Stucky

Alright, well once again it's great to be back here at Faithful Word Baptist Church

and it's great to see people that you know I've known from long ago

you know it's been a long time but also just so many new faces

and what I want to preach on here tonight is sermon called Friends Come

and Go. Friends Come and Go. Now when you think of friendship

probably the most quintessential verse in the Bible you think of is found here

in Proverbs

18 where it says here in verse 24, a man that have friends

must show himself friendly and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a

brother.

See the Bible says if you're gonna have friends you need to be friendly.

Instead of being the sort of person who's not going out there and trying to be a

friend to other people and just waiting for people to be a friend to you

the Bible says if you want good friends you've got to go out there and be a

friend

on to other people. Okay, now we're gonna look at that verse later on in the

sermon

but turn your Bible to Luke chapter 23. Luke 23

Luke 23 · chapter mention

and when it comes to friendship you know I looked on A.I. you know what is the

definition of friendship according to the

average person in this world. Here are the four things that it mentions

on chat GBT it says someone who's there for you

someone you can count on someone who has your back

someone you can trust I think all of us would say those are good

definitions about being a friend. The thing I thought of before I looked on

chat GBT was this

someone who is there for you when you need them

is probably how I would define friendship. Okay,

now obviously depending on what age you are it kind of means something a little

bit different.

You know my kids have friends in the neighborhood

that they consider good friends. Why? Because they play with them.

It's not really because they can count on them but just because they enjoy

spending time with them.

I think we'd agree that friendships at a young age are usually based

on very shallow things. It's not like the people you're friends with in elementary

school

you're wondering well I wonder not if they're saved

I wonder what they believe about you know politics or abortion

or the LGBT. Now you're friends with people that you hang out with

right. Now of course you know friendships at a young age

they come and they go and of course they're based on very

shallow things you know things that are not really that important

okay. As you get older you start to form

more friendships you kind of reach that age you kind of solidify

who you are and what you believe right you know we've seen that on the college

campuses

it can be very receptive to the gospel. When I was in college you know we would

often go to the college campus and we find kids that were freshmen and

sophomore

and we found them to be very receptive. Now once you got past sophomore the

chances of getting saved drastically

decreased because they kind of figured out

who they are and what they believe they've already kind of decided on that

you know as freshmen and sophomore they were very receptive and I remember just

forming

good friendships people that love God people that are Christians people I went

to church with

and I kind of just assumed you know you form friendships

and they're gonna kind of last forever. Why? Because they're based on real

things

it's based on Christianity and serving God

and soul winning. But you know what you find in all stages of life

friends come and friends go

that's just reality. I mean I wish I could stand up here and tell you that

everybody you're friends with today you're gonna be friends with in ten

years from now

it's just not true. And of course being a member at this church

you've seen people come and you've seen people go

and it happens it's just like every year

new people are here new people leave people come people go

and reality is friends come in life and friends go

okay. Now notice what it says here in Luke 23 verse 12

Luke 23:12

it says in the same day Pilate and Herod

were made friends together for before that

they before they were at enmity between themselves. See the Bible says with

Pilate and Herod

they were enemies they didn't get along

they weren't friends but they became friends. Why?

because they had a common enemy and boy don't you see that online

you've got all these people the only thing they have in common

is they hate this church. They hate soul winning churches

they hate your pastor and it's like they've got a friendship formed

on hate. That's not really a good recipe for a long lasting friendship is it

it's based on hatred of other people

right. Now go in your Bible to Matthew 26

Matthew 26. That verses kinda like the

NIFB archives friendship right it's like their whole friendship is based on just

hatred

you know people doesn't matter what they believe it's like well we hate the

same person

so we're gonna be friends right. Obviously that's a stupid reason to form a

friendship

what I want to do is give you just four reasons here today

of why friends come and go and honestly this is not a negative sermon

because at the end of the sermon I'm gonna give you three applications that are

very encouraging in my opinion okay. Now obviously no matter who you are

whether you're a Christian or not friends come and friends go

but I want to look at the perspective from being a fundamental Baptist

someone who loves God why is it that many of your friends

are not gonna be your friends in five years and why is it that many people

you're friends with five years ago

are not your friend today. I mean is that not true for those of you that have

been around here for a while

many people that you consider good friends

and close friends five years ago you're not friends with them anymore are

you

why friends come and friends go

we're number one one reason why friends come and go you're in Matthew 26 go to

verse 47

because some of your friends might be Judas Iscariots

some of your friends are actually just bad people

wicked people and honestly you're not really friends with them

they're just pretending to be your friend but actually they're a bad person

they're a wicked person notice what it says in Matthew 26 verse 47

Matthew 26:47

and while he yet spake low Judas one of the twelve came and with them a

great multitude with swords

and staves from the chief priests and elders of the people

now he that betrayed him gave them a sign saying whomesoever I shall kiss that

same as he

hold him fast and forthwith he came to Jesus and said hail master

and kissed him and Jesus said unto him friend

wherefore art thou come then came they and laid hands on Jesus and took

him look the Bible

says here Jesus referred to Judas

as a friend obviously Judas was a wicked person

he was an evil person and the Bible says Jesus was aware of that

but Jesus spent time with him he hung out with him

and what the reality is that in our lives

they're gonna be Judas Iscariots at a church like faithful word Baptist

church

and honestly if you go way back in time

fifteen years ago even when the church was small

I mean it's kind of crazy that even in the early days

I mean this church with the truth was attracting some bad people to it

even in the early days the church right towards the beginning

and look any real church and bonafide church that is doing something for God

you know what's gonna take place

the devil's gonna try to stop it so how does he stop it well I mean one

way he does it

is he sends Judas Iscariots in your path and they act like you

they pretend to be like you they pretend to love the church

they pretend to love the preaching and then all of a sudden one day it's like

a 180 or it's not a 180 in one day

maybe they just suddenly try to cause problems in church until their cover is gone

and then all of a sudden they're just out of here and said man that church is

evil or whatever

right you know what I'm talking about you've seen it many times haven't you

right now go in your Bible to Psalm 41

Psalm 41 I think one thing that's cool in 2026

is that you can do soul-winning events and missions trips

and a great way to remember that is to get a picture

awesome right you get you go soul-winning

then you get a picture with a nice backdrop it's a wonderful experience

you remember man we had

you know what is it on here 21 soul winners

and 18 salvation I mean praise God for those things you got the picture you

remember it

and unfortunately many times you look back at pictures from five years ago and

it's like well there's a Judas

there's a Judas and it kinda ruins the picture

you know we've got you know a lot of pictures on our wall at the church

and it's like you got missions trip pictures and it's like

you know there's one photo in particular there's like nine people in the

photo it's like

five of them are bad and it's like man that picture is tainted for all

eternity

right but it happens where people you think are your friend you think

they're good people they act like you and in reality

they're actually a Judas they're just a bad person some 41 verse 9 the Bible says

yay my own familiar friend in whom I trusted which did eat my bread have

lifted up his heel against me

look I believe this is ultimately fulfilled in Jesus Christ but I also

think it's mentioned in Psalms

because the fact David he had a lot of enemies

and honestly anyone that lives godly is gonna have enemies they're gonna

have Judas's that come around

and it's frustrating

I wish I could say something different today

but you know this is true

it's a lot of people they want to just kind of pretend things are not real and

they don't want the truth

last I checked the Bible says that the church is the pillar in the ground of

the truth

look nobody wants to go to a hospital go to the doctors and find out

you know what you've got a major problem you need surgery

immediately

but here's the thing I mean if you actually need surgery

isn't it just better to know that

then have this major problem and the doctor didn't tell you because he didn't

want to hurt your feelings

I mean you need triple bypass heart surgery

but I don't want to hurt your feelings so yeah you're doing good

yeah maybe lose a few pounds you know drink some you know grape juice

eat more protein you know less sugar

you're gonna be good nothing much major

and that's ridiculous and yet that's the way churches operate

they don't say things that are negative why because they want to just give a

positive message because that's what people want to hear

you know one thing I find amazing is people come and visit church

and sometimes they love the preaching

they love the sermons they love the preaching

they're coming every week they're loving the preaching and then that one

sermon comes

that hits on their sin and they hate it

and they're gone never to come again

see why would you want to go to church to just hear things that you already

believe

and levels you've already attained and not be told

you need to change this is what the Bible says

if you want to grow you need preaching that preaches against your sin

I mean how do you expect people to change unless you say hey it's wrong

you gotta make a change

but yet people don't want churches like that

they just want to be lied to and look obviously there's people that want the

truth though

you say what's the proof I mean look there's plenty of people that want the

truth

they want to hear the word of God preached but there's

a larger amount of people even save people that they don't really want the

truth

they don't want to know what the Bible says go to 2nd Samuel 13

excuse me 2nd Samuel 13 look I don't think this is in my notes but you

know the Bible says he that walketh with wise men shall be wise

but a companion of fools shall be destroyed

one thing that's great about a church like this is that when you have a soul

winning culture at church and people are kind of new

it's like well what activities do you have a church

it's like well you know let's see

on Monday we got a 5 p.m. activity on Tuesday on Wednesday on Thursday on

Friday on Saturday on Sunday

and we've got events if you want to go to them and look I get that's not the only

events

but it's like the main focus of this church has always been

so winning

me honestly you know one of the big things I liked about this preaching when

I first started listening and you know either 2007 or 2008

was just a big emphasis on soul winning

because honestly I was trying to go soul winning I was talking to people

I didn't really know what I was doing

and nobody else is really doing it and it's kind of hard to motivate yourself

even if you know you should do it it's kind of hard to just motivate

yourself right

but if you walk with wise men and you walk with people that love God you know

what's the result

they rub off on you in a good way

but if you walk with fools

they're also going to rub off on you

in a bad way

notice what it says here in 2 Samuel 13 verse 1

2 Samuel 13:1

and it came to pass after this that Absalom the son of David had a fair

sister his name was Tamar

and Amnon the son of David loved her and Amnon was so vexed that he fell sick

for a sister Tamar for she was a virgin and Amnon thought it hard for him to do

anything to her

but Amnon had a friend

whose name was Jonah dabb the son of Shimea David's brother and Jonah dabb

was a very

subtle man and in this story Jonah dabb is basically a picture of the devil

he's a bad person and Amnon realizes

hey I shouldn't do anything it's wrong it's wicked

obviously fornication is wrong but he had

a friend a friend that basically put him in a position where

that was the inevitable result cause

Amnon had a friend well let's see how good of a friend

Amnon really was now I'm not going to go through this entire story but jump

down to verse 32

after everything's taken place and obviously Amnon

not Amnon but Jonah dabb has or Amnon has forced his half sister

and then Absalom gets mad and he gets killed and he's dead and remember his

friend

Jonah dabb his best bud his best friend and notice what it says here in verse 32

and Jonah dabb the son of Shimea David's brother answered and said

let not my Lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king

sons

for Amnon only is dead

for by the appointment of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he

forced his sister Tamar

now therefore let not my Lord the king take the thing to his heart to think

that all the king's sons are dead

for Amnon only is dead

I mean can you imagine if your supposed best friend died

and then all the sudden after he's dead it's just like well let me just

spill the beans on exactly what took place no big deal not all your sons

are dead

I mean he died because this is what he did

right

I think the Bible said that he that covered a transgressions he could love

and you would expect a friend to love you

and care about you

but not Amnon's friend he's just like well you know this is what he did

why

he's a bad person

he wasn't a real friend

he did what benefited him

right he was a Judas

and go in your Bible to 1st John 2

1st John 2

you know one thing you need to realize is that it's it's often hard

for a pastor to tell if someone is a Judas

you know why that is

because

Judas's

acts a certain way in front of the pastor

and they act a different way in front of other people

I mean there's this guy we kicked out of our church five years ago

and I really like the guy

I mean he was always super nice to me

he's super friendly

and then all of a sudden everybody said yeah him and his wife talk trash about you

at every church service to everybody

I'm like what in the world

I mean they acted like my friend I mean they pretended to be my friend

but in reality

no they're just talking trash about me all the time

right and whether that not they were Judas they were certainly a wicked person

and you know sometimes it's hard because people act a certain way and the other thing is

sometimes you know church members

might have information and they might just not tell the pastor because they're like well I don't want to involve the pastor

I don't want to bother him

you know sometimes you got to let the pastor know about things

because you might think that they're aware of things and oftentimes

they're just not they haven't been told because everyone's thinking

I'm sure somebody else told him

and yet nobody has

so what do you do if you find out somebody is

a Judas Iscariot

you say well how do you know somebody is Judas Iscariot well

one thing is if they leave a church that's preaching the truth

after being here for years

and then they join some heretical church like the Pentecostal church or the

Orthodox church

or the Catholic church I mean they've been here for years

they've gone soul-inning with you and then they do a complete 180 on what it

takes to get to heaven

it's like what what in the world

I heard that person give the gospel and nothing they said was wrong

and now all the sudden they're saying this you got to keep the sacraments

like what in the world is going on well they were Judas Iscariot

and here's what the Bible says in 1 John 2 verse 18

1 John 2:18

little children it is the last time and as you have heard that anti-Christ

shall come

even now are there many anti-Christ whereby we know that it is the

last time

they went out from us

but they were not of us for if they had been of us they would no doubt have

continued with us

but they went out that they might be made manifest that they were not all of

us

a lot of people look at these verses and they say well wait a minute

this is saying that if you leave the church

that means that you were never saved

wait a minute does the Bible say that you have to be in church until the

day you die to go to heaven

I mean is being a member of church evidence of being saved

or evidence of that you're on your way to heaven

no

but the context in 1 John 2 is about the things you believe

because it said in verse number 18 it said that anti-Christ shall come

see the Bible is talking about doctrine and things you believe

and the Bible is saying hey somebody is at the church

and believes certain things and then they leave and all of a sudden they're

like man you know what

I believe in the Orthodox Church

I believe in the Catholic Church

it's like man you were never of us

now look if somebody leaves this church and becomes a drunkard there's no

reason to question their salvation

they got into sin

but if they leave this church and change their beliefs

specifically about salvation or other major doctrines associated it's kind

of like wait a minute

you went out from us

but you are not of us

you know one of the things that's scary about this is somebody can be at a

church for a long time

as a Judas

and you don't realize it

when I started reading the Bible I just kind of assumed that a Judas

like three years was the maximum

I just kind of figured the Bible is showing you hey he lasted three years

and so if you're around for more than three years it means that you're

not really a bad person

but I think we've all seen that that's not really the case

I mean I just remember when I was here I mean

you know Garrett Kirchway was a member of the church

I mean he was going to be a missionary I liked him at the time I thought he was a

great guy and then all of a sudden it's like man

you know we used to joke about it it's like you know that Pentecostal soul

winning demonstration

it wasn't really a demonstration it was the real thing but he never actually

believed

because he still was on this he was still into that doctrine

it's like but wait a minute you were with us for years

and yet you never actually really believed

and yet

this happens

go in your Bible to Luke chapter eight

Luke eight

look you know I wish this weren't true but you just got to realize it that

there will be people that will be bad people in church and they'll be at

the church and then all of a sudden it gets revealed and they're gone and

you know the thing is people hear this preaching

but before they experience it

it's like they believe it intellectually

but they don't really get it

and then you're at the church and you see it happen

it's like okay I got it

I thought I got it before

but now I've experienced it with my own eyes it's like I get it now

okay someone is just pretending

to be like us

for their own personal benefit or whatever reason that they choose but

they're actually a Judas Iscariot a bad person

but number two

friends come and go because

some people backslide

somebody might love God now

they go soul winning now they love the church now but they might just backslide

one day and just

quit the church

here's what it says in Luke chapter eight verse fourteen

Luke eight verse fourteen

and that which fell among thorns are they which when they have heard

go forth

and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life

and bring no fruit to perfection

so the parable of the sower you've got four people listed the first does not get

saved the last clearly get saved and people debate on the second third

I believe the second and the third get saved but

they don't end up zealously serving God

and see the Bible says here in verse fourteen

that they go forth so the thing is

they start to

they start to do

serve God they start to do something but what happens they are choked with the

cares

and riches and pleasures of this life

and what's the result they bring no fruit to perfection

now of course the Calvinist would look at this and say no wait a minute

no fruit

no salvation

but is that what the Bible saying here in Luke eight

see the thing is if you're gonna be a soul winner and bring forth fruit

as the Bible says the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life and he

that when its souls is wise

you gotta go all out serving God

I remember you know when I first got saved and you know I start to make some

changes in my life but honestly

the biggest thing that caused me to make changes is I started to preach the

gospel to people

and I just thought to myself you know what I feel like I'd be much more

effective

if I got sent out of my life

and I just felt like you know what it's just kinda holding me back

and then because of soul winning that is actually what motivated me

to start living more for God

because I said man I don't want somebody to go to hell because I'm not zealous

enough

I'm not right with God I was like I need to make some changes in my life

I wish I could say that when you first get saved immediately you just get

rid of all your worldliness

and all your sin and just all you do is serve God

but honestly if you're serving God today you know what that means

it means you got saved and you started to grow

and it is a slow process and all of us hopefully are still growing and growing

closer to God right now

rather than backsliding

see the Bible says

people go forth

but they're choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life

verse 15

but that on the good ground are they which in an honest and good heart

having heard the word keep it

and bring forth fruit with patience

so the Bible says in verse 15 this is the person that ends up really

serving God

what happens

well you know those on the good ground you know these people get saved and then

they have an honest heart

and a good heart

so every time they hear the word of God you know what they do

they keep it

they slowly grow

and then they bring forth fruit with patience

year by year

thirty sixty a hundred or whatever the number

just keeps all winning

keep getting people saved week after week after week after week after week

go to 2nd Timothy chapter 4

I mean just think about this logically

let's say you're at church

and there's someone that you become very close to

because every Sunday you go soul winning with them

you're in the same group you go soul winning with them

so you're around them

you talk to them

and it's pretty inevitable when you go soul winning with people on a pretty

regular basis you end up becoming friends pretty much

you get very closely connected

one of the things I love about Christianity

is you know honestly people come from very different backgrounds

have very different interests

and if it were not for serving God in Christianity

honestly you know most of us probably wouldn't be friends

but we have that common connection of loving God and serving God and going soul winning

and that is a million times greater and more important than anything else

what happens if you're really good friends with someone and every Sunday

you're going soul winning and all of a sudden they just stop soul winning

well you're no longer around them to fellowship

let's say they start missing church services

while you're no longer around them

I mean if they're not a church to fellowship with

you're probably not going to be hanging out with them outside of church

and what ends up taking place

it doesn't matter how close you were to them

eventually you're just going to kind of go separate ways

because one person is going this direction

the other is going this direction

Second Timothy chapter 4 gives us a great example

2 Timothy 4 · chapter mention

it says here in verse 10

for Deimos hath forsaken me

having loved this present world

and is departed under Thessalonica

Crescent, Sigalacia, Titus unto Dalmatia

and you know in this verse the Bible is highlighting that

Deimos is the one that loved the present world

Deimos is the one that foresook Paul

the Bible is saying that Deimos who once loved God

he once served God

he loved the present world

exactly what we saw in Luke chapter 8 verse 14

Luke 8:14

yes sometimes people can go forth and serve God

and their old sin or just worldly things

can be very tempting to them

and they're just thinking maybe I'll be happy

or maybe this Christianity thing is too intense

too much and if I just kind of loosen up

and allow a little bit of sin in my life

I'll be oh so happy

and why do people think that

because they look at the world

and everybody's got a smile on their face

right I mean people act like they're happy

people are getting drunk

and they've got smiles they've got all these pictures

man these great memories getting drunk

it's like well if you're having such a great time

why are you just erasing your memory with alcohol

why do you need alcohol to be happy

but they'll say they're happy

they'll pretend to be happy

right because you weep during the night

you show sadness during the night

I mean they just sleep sleeping the night

they'd be drunken or drunken in the night

but here's the thing you're going to wake up the next day

you're miserable you got a headache

your job's messed up I mean everything your life is messed up

and they'll act like they're happy but they're not happy

and the thing is when people try to tell you

why don't you just try this try alcohol

you know watch movies you know you do all these things

this is like wait a minute I'm already enjoying my life

so why would I need to change it

it's funny because people at your job they might ask you

hey what are you doing this weekend

and you're like hey you know what we're going up to Flagstaff

what are you doing in Flagstaff

you know we're going to preach the gospel

and then they're just like what

and they're like how can you find enjoyment in that

but the thing is we're not doing it out of a burden

we're out of a requirement we love serving God

look obviously we have our down moments

but look I like soul winning I like preaching

I enjoy preaching I enjoy getting up here and writing sermons

I believe it changes people's lives it affects people's lives

I enjoy it I enjoy preaching the gospel I enjoy reading the Bible

I like doing these things

and yeah you know when you're having days and you don't feel like doing it

you should do it out of obligation

but honestly I enjoy serving God

and these people that are living in sin they might say that they enjoy life

they don't really enjoy life though

sin leads to destruction sin leads to just reaping from what you've done

and just all kinds of consequences

and people are too stubborn and thick-headed to just admit you know what

I should just go back to coming to church

and serving God and reading the Bible

I was so much happier when I was not living in sin

verse 16

at my first answer no man stood with me

but all men forsook me

I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge

and look you know Paul speaks about the fact that people like Demis

backslid and he doesn't have the same friends that he used to have

why will Demis love the present world

and look some people that you are friends with today

even if you keep zealously serving God your whole life

they will not be your friends 10 years down the road

they will not be your friends five years down the road

because not all of your friends are likely to keep serving God their entire life

go in your Bible to Jude one

you say man I thought when a missionary came in it's like it's supposed to be a positive message

to encourage you

and you're like man I'm going to lose my friends

now look there's an encouragement at the end of the sermon

but you know this is reality

I speak from experience

that a lot of people that you're friends with are not going to be your friends down the road

I wish that weren't the case but look you know it if you've been serving God for years

there are some people that you used to be friends with

not anymore

why is that friends come and friends go

why is that well number one

because some of your friends might be Judas Iscariot

number two because some of your friends might backslide

number three because some of your friends are only your friends because you benefit their life

now this certainly can cross over into someone being a Judas Iscariot

and I'll show you a verse on that but it can certainly cross over to someone even being saved

as well

Jude 1 verse 16 notice what the Bible says

Jude 1:16

these are murmurs, complainers walking after their own lusts

in their mouth speaketh great swelling words

flattery

having men's persons in admiration

because of advantage

see the Bible says there are people that will flatter you

and pretend to care about you why out of advantage

they benefit from the friendship with you it's not sincere to them

the only reason that they're friends with you is because you benefit their life

now in Jude 1 this is referring to bad people

but go in your Bible to Judges 14

Judges 14

and look you know you've seen that through the years of people that would latch onto this church

why because they want to have a big church

they want to have a lot of members

and I'm not saying all of them are necessarily bad but some certainly are

some have proven themselves to be really bad people like the Bible says in Jude chapter 1

Jude 1 · chapter mention

and the sad reality is some people will want to be your friend

why because they benefit from being friends with you

it's not that they want to just show themselves friendly

but they want something out of that friendship

they will use you for their own benefit

that's why they're friends with you

Judges 14 verse 20 the Bible says this

Judges 14:20

but Samson's wife was given to his companion

notice this whom he had used as his friend

look obviously Samson did some great things

being the Bible says he used his companion as a friend

I mean it wasn't sincere

he used him and unfortunately there are people that are going to use you

they'll pretend to care about you

they don't really care about you

they are friends with you for one reason why because you benefit their life

they don't care about benefiting your life

it's because you benefit their life

well here's the thing

what if you no longer benefit their life

they don't want to be friends anymore

it's the way it works

go to Esther chapter 5

Esther 5 · chapter mention

Esther 5

and the Bible Haman is a really rotten character

and your rotten people will end up inevitably having rotten people that surround them

the Bible doesn't necessarily tell us if all of his friends that are mentioned here

are bad people as in reprobates or not

but I want you to notice what the Bible does say about them using Haman as a friend

notice what it says here in Esther 5 verse 10

Esther 5:10

nevertheless Haman refrained himself

and when he came home he sent and called for his friends

okay these are his friends

these are his companions

the people that he hangs out with

the people that he talks to

and he's a rest his wife

and Haman told them the glory of his riches

and the multitude of his children

and all the things wherein the king had promoted him

and how he had advanced him above the princes

and servants of the king

now I'll say this on a side point

Haman's not much of a friend

because notice he's telling his friends

look at how great and awesome I am

right

and notice what it says here

go down to verse 14

then said Zarest's wife

and all his friends onto him

let a gallows be made of 50 cubits high

and tomorrow speak thou unto the king

that Mordecai may be hang there on

then go thou and merrily with the king

unto the banquet

and the thing pleased Haman

and he caused the gallows to be made

so the friends of Haman

and his wife say hey you know what

basically here's our plan to get Mordecai put to death

these are his friends that are basically

telling him you should do this

okay obviously it doesn't work out well for Haman does it

chapter 6 verse 12

chapter 6 verse 12

and Mordecai came again to the king's gate

but Haman hasted to his house mourning

and having his head covered

and Haman told Zarest's wife

and all his friends

everything that had befallen him

so the same people that said hey

here's how you're gonna kill Mordecai

he tells him this is what took place

then said his wise men

and Zarest's wife onto him

if Mordecai be of the seed of the Jews

before whom

thou

has begun to fall

so notice how they immediately say

you are the one that did this

it didn't say that we were part of this

thou has begun to fall

thou shalt not prevail against them

but shall surely fall before him

so what's taking place

Haman is surrounded by a bunch of people

that are using him

don't care about him at all

and then all of a sudden Haman's in trouble

and they're like you're the one

who did this

they immediately distance themselves

why because it doesn't benefit them anymore

obviously during this time

being friends with Haman would benefit you

because he's powerful

he's got money

and wealth make if many friends the Bible says

but now all of a sudden as the judgment's coming upon him

it's kind of like well you're the one

you know who did this

right and they distance themselves from him

I don't feel bad for a rotten guy like Haman

but the reality is

they're only friends because it benefits them

now go to your Bible to Luke chapter 10

Luke 10 · chapter mention

Luke 10

there's a term known as a fair weather friend

and a fair weather friend means

a person who is friendly

only when it is easy

convenient or beneficial

but disappears when hardship

suffering or sacrifice is required

and see they're going to be people

that you consider a friend

and they need help

and you're there for them

like what do you need me to do

and then when the roles are reversed

and you need help

and you ask them for help

they're not there for you

I mean this happens all the time

where it's like you're investing your life

into being a friend

and then when you need a friend

it's like oh man I'm busy

I don't have time

it's like but I had time for you

I stepped in for you

and when the roles are reversed

they're not willing to do the same

right

point number one

why is it that many of your friends

are going to come and go

number one because some of your friends

are probably Judas Iscariot

number two

because some of your friends

are going to backslide

now the thing is

you know if you have friends

that backslide

and leave church

and quit serving God

here's the thing

you're part of a church

of people that love God

say man I want to have

some new friends in my life

look around

because the people you're

going to be close friends with

are the people serving God

when you love God

and when you're serving God

the people that you're going

to get connected to

and care about

are other people that love God

and so look

if you lose some friends

and some people quit the church

and you consider them a close friend

well here's the thing

there's other people to be friends with

and maybe if a church

was a small church

that would be a bit harder

but look

this isn't a small church

there's plenty of people

that you can be friends with

point number two

some are going to backslide

point number three

there are people that are

only your friend

when you benefit them

point number four

because there are people

that they're not

taking advantage of you

it's not that they're

only friends with you

because you benefit them

but they're not willing

to be friends with you

if it's going to hurt them

so it's not that they're

taking advantage of you

and they want to benefit

off your life

but they don't want to have

a negative effect on their life

because of that friendship

now before I show you

these verses

I want to show you

something here in Luke

Luke 10:30

chapter 10 verse 30

Luke 10 verse 30

Luke 10:30

and here's what it says

in Luke 10 verse 30

Luke 10:30

and Jesus answering said

a certain man

went down from Jerusalem

to Jericho

and fell among thieves

which stripped him

of his raiment

and wounded him

and departed

leaving him half dead

and by chance

there came down

a certain priest

that way

and when he saw him

he passed by

on the other side

and likewise

a Levite

when he's at the place

came and looked on him

and passed by

on the other side

but a certain man

a certain Samaritan

as he journeyed

came where he was

and when he saw him

he had compassion on him

and went to him

and bound up his wounds

pouring in

oil and wine

and set him on his own beast

and brought him to an inn

and took care of him

and on the morrow

when he departed

took out two pints

and gave them to the host

and said on to him

take care of him

and whatsoever

thou spendest more

when I come again

I will repay thee

which now of these three

thinkest thou was neighbor

on to him

that fell among the thieves

and he said

he that showed mercy on him

then said

Jesus on to him

go and do thou likewise

we know this

as the good Samaritan

the Bible says

which one was neighbor

on to him

there's a situation

where the Samaritan

is there

and he sees somebody in need

he's not friends

with this person

but when somebody needs help

isn't that just

the neighborly

and right thing to do

look you know

in our neighborhood

where we live

and I get the word

neighbor is not necessarily

referring to neighborhood

like we think of

but just like

the people you meet

the people you're around

but here's what I'm saying

it's like you know

people that are in our neighborhood

our kids are friends

with some of the neighborhood kids

my wife and I are not friends

with any of the people

in our neighborhood

you know we get along with them

they're fine

we'll say hello

but we're not close friends with them

but here's the thing

if one of my neighbors

fell over

and needed to be rushed to the hospital

I would immediately stop

what I was doing

and drive them to the hospital

you say why

it's just the neighborly

and right thing to do

when you see somebody need help

you help them

because here's the thing about this

at the beginning of the sermon

I said my definition of being a friend

is someone who's there for you

when you need them

but honestly

that's pretty low bar

to be in a friend

because honestly

that's just the neighborly thing to do

I mean if somebody needs help

you help them

and what's crazy

is when people you consider friends

are not even willing to do

what a neighbor would do

the neighborly thing

you think they're friends

but they're not there to help you at all

it's like man

you know some random person would see

man you need a need

and look

not

they don't even have to be saved

unsafe people would see someone

that needed help

and they would immediately help them

but I've seen videos online

where a car will crash

and get set on fire

and just a bunch of cars

will stop on the side of the road

and do everything to pull that person out

do you really think all those people

that did that are safe people

but it's just the neighborly

and right thing to do

why

because you have compassion in your heart

it's the right thing to do

and it's amazing

you would think someone's a friend

and then all of a sudden

they don't even do what's the neighborly thing

and go in your bible

to 2 Samuel chapter 1

2 Samuel 1 · chapter mention

2 Samuel 1

look the bible says

do unto others as you'd have done unto you

I mean if I'm in need of help

I would want somebody to help me

it's just the right thing to do

I mean you see somebody drowning in water

you should try to help them

right it's just the right thing to do

you don't have to be friends with them

you don't have to know them

it's just the right thing to do right

look if you need help

and people see that

the neighborly and right thing to do

is help someone when they're down

and of course you would expect a friend

when you need help

to be there

you'd imagine that you're drowning

and a friend just walked away from you

it's like what in the world

it's like I haven't needed you before

and now that I need you

it's just like well you know what

and they're not there for you

it's like not a very good friend right

notice what it says here in 2 Samuel chapter 1 verse 25

2 Samuel 1:25

how are the mighty fallen in the midst of battle

oh Jonathan now was slain in thine high places

I am distressed for thee my brother Jonathan

very pleasant has thou been on to me

thy love to me was wonderful

passing the love of women

David speaks about this great friendship

that he had with Jonathan

look there is some truth to this

but honestly a lot of this

is just fuzzy memories from David

because notice what it says in 1 Samuel 23

1 Samuel 23

Jonathan was a great friend

at one time to David no doubt

but notice what it says here in 1 Samuel 23

1 Samuel 23 verse 8

1 Samuel 23:8

1 Samuel 23 verse 8

1 Samuel 23:8

and Saul called all the people together to war

to go down to Kayla to besiege David and his men

so here's another time where Saul is just going crazy

he's hunting down David

David is desperate

he's running for his life

and doing whatever just to survive

as Saul is coming after him

drop down to verse 13

then David and his men

which were about 600 arose

and departed out of Kayla

and went wither so ever they could go

but I was saying he's just doing whatever he can do

right he's going wither so ever he can go

and it was told Saul that David was escaped from Kayla

and he forbear to go forth

and David a boat in the wilderness and strongholds

and remained in a mountain in the wilderness of Ziff

and Saul sought him every day

but God delivered him not into his hand

and David saw that Saul was come out to seek his life

and David was in the wilderness of Ziff in a wood

and Jonathan Saul's son arose

and went to David into the wood

and strengthened his hand in God

and he said on to him

fear not

for the hand of Saul my father shall not find thee

and thou shalt be king over Israel

and I shall be next on to thee

and that also Saul my father knoweth

so what Jonathan says is hey you know what

I'm going to be a right hand man

I'm not trying to become the king

it's appointed to you

God has given it to you

I'm going to be there

you've been chosen

my dad knows it

I'm going to be right there with you

as your right hand man

verse 18

and they too made a covenant before the Lord

and David a boat in the wood

and Jonathan went to his house

see at this moment

if Jonathan were to stay there with David

he'd be making a real sacrifice

it would harm him

but here's the thing

Jonathan goes home to a nice bed

he's perfectly fine

and then David's in the middle of the wilderness

just trying to survive

let me ask you a question

during this time

as David is with 600 men

in the heat of battle trying to survive

and he's not around Jonathan

who do you think he feels closer to

the 600 men that are with him

they're actually there

in the heat of battle

I mean think of people that you used to consider friends

but they're not with you soul winning

they're not there in the important moments

who are you really going to feel closest to

the people that you go to war with

the people that you go to battle with

and look Jonathan was a great friend

and he made a lot of sacrifice

but you know what

here in 1 Samuel 23

David's there in the wilderness

he goes home and guess what

and the next time you see Jonathan in the Bible

he's dead

you don't see him anymore

but David's got other men that are with him

and look you might lose Jonathan's in your life

but then there's other men that are there with you

other men that are doing battle

other men that are your friends

and of course when you're fighting together

you're going to form a close friendship

I'm sure you know people that go to battle

like a literal war

I'm sure there's a very close kinship that forms

and look in a spiritual sense

when we go to war

there is a kinship that forms

as you're together on the same team

I mean when your church is in the heat of battle

and everybody's against it

and you stand together

don't you end up feeling closer to the people

that are there with you

that's what takes place

and those 600 men were with David

and you form a very very close connection

here's what I'm saying

there are people that

they're not trying to use you

they're not taking advantage

but when it comes to having to actually suffer

as a result of being friends with you

it's like you know what this is too far

I don't want to be friends at that cost

they go in your bible to Matthew 26

Matthew 26

hey honestly when you think in the bible of the big betrayal

I mean Judas betraying Jesus

but you know not only that

I mean because the thing is a Judas is a Judas

it is what it is

but he's not saved

but then all the disciples just

reject Jesus at that moment

and here's what it says in verse number 56

it says then all the disciples

for sook him and fled

all the disciples forsake him

now go to verse 73

go to verse 73

you know something I've thought about a lot of the last couple years

and you see this in the bible that all the disciples forsake him

they don't want to be associated

and why is it in those moments

a lot of people are going to disassociate

well here's the thing

if you're friends with someone

and you're connected to someone

people are immediately going to link you to that person

so the thing is

if something's going on with your friend

everyone's going to say well isn't that your friend

isn't that someone you're connected to

and the thing is you can't really stay quiet

because people are going to keep asking you

so you got to kind of make a choice

are you going to side with or against

that's kind of the way that it works

because everyone's going to keep asking you

it's kind of like you're too closely connected

to just be quiet

so what do a lot of people do

they disassociate

why because they don't want the connection

they wouldn't care if people weren't asking them about it

but because of that they're like you know no

I don't want to suffer for this

it's not worth it they just disassociate

instead of just being quiet

they end up going out loud

and make it a point to say I'm not connected at all

it's like why don't you just stay quiet

but the thing is they can't really stay quiet

because everybody's going to ask them about it

so they got to make a decision

so what do they do

well what many people do

is they just will publicly disassociate

right that means that's not true

this is what takes place

in fact we see a great example in the Bible

because notice what it says here in verse 73

and after a while came on to him

they that stood by and said to Peter

surely thou also art one of them

for thy speech bereithy

what the Bible is saying here is

you know this this person comes to Peter

says no no no you are certainly connected to Jesus

because of the fact I can tell via your speech

I mean your speech will connect you to people

it's reality

and they say you're talking way too similarly to Jesus

it's like your speech shows you've been with Jesus

so notice what Peter does in verse 74

then began he to curse and to swear

saying I know not the man

and immediately the cock crew

see the speech of Peter connected him to Jesus

and in order to disassociate

you know what he did

he made it a point to speak

like he would not normally speak

cursing and swearing why

because nobody connected to Jesus

would speak like this

and that's exactly what he did

so he would not be connected to Jesus Christ

look obviously Peter was a great person

awesome person

obviously he learned from this

but you know what

Jesus kind of reminds Peter of this

where he says love is thou me more than these

if you notice he says it three times

I believe the reason he says it you know

three times

you know feed my sheep

feed my lambs why

because he denied Jesus three times

and of course that you know

makes Peter very sad that he actually did that

what you're seeing is in that moment

you know what

Peter's like it's going to cost me

being friends with Jesus

it's going to cost me being connected

and it's like I don't want to be that

closely connected

I don't want to get in trouble

I don't want to get executed

I don't want to get persecuted

what does he do

he speaks in a way

and ungodly and wicked way

so he will not be connected with Jesus

go to Bible 2nd Timothy chapter 1

2nd Timothy 1

I mean one thing you have to ask yourself is this

how great of a friend are you

because in that moment

Peter

just bailed

Peter's spoken away

where no one would connect him with Jesus

why because he did not want to be associated

and the question is this

you know how good of a friend are you

so let me tell you something

being a friend when

it's all good

and there's no problems

that's really not a high bar on being a friend

but if you're a true friend

you will be there when it hurts you

when it might not benefit you

you will if you're a true friend

you will be there

when the connection actually has a negative effect on you

and not a positive you say why

because being a neighbor

is just simply being there

when someone needs help

but if you're a true friend

you're going to be there when it hurts

I mean the Bible says this

a friend is born for adversity

because the thing is

in those times you have adversity

and you need help

that's when you need a friend

look when everything's going well in my life

I'm fine

I'm reading the Bible

everything's going well

but wait a minute

what if I'm in those dark moments

what if I really need help

you know in those moments

you don't need somebody kicking you while you're down

you know what you need

you need somebody helping you

someone trying to encourage you

someone trying to just motivate you

say hey you know what

I'm with you

and I'm not afraid to say it publicly

why

because I want to be a friend onto you

that's what being a true friend is

2nd Timmy chapter 1

verse 15

says this thou knowest

that all day which are in Asia

be turned away for me

of whom are phygeologists and hermogenes

the Lord give mercy onto the house

of an esophorus for he off refreshed me

and notice this

and was not ashamed of my chain

but when he was in Rome

he sought me out very diligently

and found me

the Lord grant onto him

that he may find mercy of the Lord in that day

and in how many things he ministered onto me at Ephesus

thou knowest very well

you know what

when it comes to the life of Paul the Apostle

being his friend

didn't always benefit you

I mean when you're arrested

when you're being persecuted

when everybody's saying negative things about you

I mean being connected doesn't always help you

it can hurt you sometimes

but wait a minute

what does it mean to be a friend

because remember what we saw at the beginning of the sermon

the Bible says that if you're going to have friends

you need to show yourself friendly

the Bible says you should be a friend

you should be someone who puts yourself out there

and cares about other people

and so

when are those moments most needed

it's when you're going through a tough time

it's when you're going through a battle

and go in your Bible to Proverbs chapter 27

Proverbs 27 · chapter mention

Proverbs 27

you know in life

I think all of us

we have a tendency to maybe

try to maintain onto things for too long

you know imagine you know a boyfriend and girlfriend

or dating for a couple years

and they're not

they really don't want to get married

but they've already invested a lot of time

so they kind of just keep going

and eventually they end up getting married

but they never really wanted to get married

it's just kind of like

well we've already been down this road

it's like I don't want to start over

well I mean if you don't want to marry them

the better thing is just to start over

you know even in friendship sometimes

sometimes you can be friends with someone

and you kind of have those David moments

where you remember the good times

but it's like that doesn't mean that it's

now

it doesn't mean it's the present anymore

and see the problem with trying to hang on

to friendships that are no longer good friendships

or bad friendships

is that if you try to hang on to that friendship

you're going to find yourself compromising

to keep that friendship

and look you shouldn't have to compromise who you are

and what you believe for your friendships

look I'm not telling you to discard friendship

but I am saying you know it sometimes there's friendships

which honestly it's like

hey you know we were friends at one time

but things are just not the same anymore

now three things I want you to take away from the sermon

number one

you should keep loyal and proven friends

you should strive to maintain and keep

loyal and proven friends

Bible says in Proverbs 27 verse 10

Proverbs 27:10

thine own friend and thy father's friend

forsake not

and why does the Bible say that you should not forsake your father's friend

you know I think the reason the Bible says that is

you know if your father's been friends with someone

has probably been a long time

they're probably pretty proven

they're probably someone you can trust

they're probably someone that's not going to turn on you

they're probably someone you can count on in difficult times

the Bible says you know your friend and your father's friend forsake not

go in your Bible to Proverbs 18 Proverbs 18

and look if someone has proven to be a true friend

you should strive to maintain that friendship why

because true friendships are honestly just not that common

they just aren't

and so if someone's proven themselves to be a friend

you want to keep that friend

I mean somebody's been friends with your father for a long time

you want to keep that friendship

that's someone I can count on

that's someone who's going to be there when I need them

that's the sort of friend you want

but you know what if somebody is is not really a friend anymore

sometimes you just have to face reality

and maybe they were a great friend at one time

but I mean if you're heading one direction

and then they're heading the other direction

it's like in order to keep that friendship

you know what you have to do

you have to compromise who you are

or pretend to be something you're not

in order to keep that friendship

anyway at that point you should just forsake that friendship

it's not real

it used to be real

not anymore

the bible says here in Proverbs 18 verse 24

Proverbs 18:24

a man that hath friends must show himself friendly

and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother

number one you should keep loyal and proven friends

but number two

you should never stop trying to be a friend onto other people

because the bible just clearly says in Proverbs 18

that a man that hath friends must show himself friendly

and the bible says there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother

and of course you know you would think of a brother being a very close connection

and the thing is you invest time into friendships

a lot of times it doesn't work out

the bible is saying there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother

you know it's like this in all areas of life

right i think about when you ordain people to the ministry

i mean i wish that it was just always perfect and it worked out

but it doesn't

you know i've ordained somebody to the ministry before

and it didn't work out

it failed

had to replace them

didn't work

you say well why don't you just stop doing it

because you know i've ordained people that are good people

right pastor plebneck in poland is a great guy

super zealous soul winner

you know have there been failures at faith word baptist church of people that have been ordained

yes

but there's also pastor corbin wrestle

pastor jonathan shelly

pastor bruce mahiya i mean those are big successes

and so the thing is yeah you've got and look you know everything in life

is about having failure and failure and just overcoming and not giving up

i mean if you were to look at a chart of the top 10 players in nba history with the most missed

shots you know what it's going to say on that list

coby bryant

lebron james

michael jordan

wilton chamberlain

kareem out you say those are like the greatest players ever yeah because if you have a lot of makes

you have a lot of misses too

that's just the way that it works

but the thing is you don't stop why because you do have makes

you do have successes and look there are people that you can find out there

that are going to be a great friend and they will stick closer than a brother

so look if you have a friend that turns out to be a judoist don't just give up on being a friend

if you have a friend that is a backside and quit don't just give up on being a friend because

the bible says a man that has friends must show himself friendly

and the result you can find a friend that stick it closer than a brother

go to first kings 19 we'll close up first kings 19

you know one thing i've learned from experience you know number three is this

that when you lose friendships you often gain better friendships

so the thing is you often try to hang on to something that it's just not the same anymore

and then if you let it go on the other side there's actually better friends of people that

actually care about you they aren't going to bail on you they're actually there for you when you

need them i mean there's better friends on the other side bible says here in first kings 19 verse

1 Kings 19:19

19 so he departed then sin found the life of the son of sheffat it was plowing with 12 yoke of oxen

before him and he with the 12th and elijah passed by him and cast his man all upon him

and he left the oxen and ran after elijah and said let me i pray that he kissed my

father and mother and then i will follow thee and he said on to him go back again for

what have i done to thee and he returned back from him and took a yoke of oxen and slew them

and boiled their flesh with the instruments of the oxen and gave one of the people and they

did eat then he arose and went after elijah and ministered on to him in the story this is right

after all the false prophets are killed and elijah's life is mess he's on the run he wants to

end it and then all of a sudden he just wants to give up and what happens he ends up getting

the greatest friend he can have in life i mean elijah and elijah are like right hand men

he's right there for him right and so he lost a friendship i mean his life changed but then

all of a sudden man he's got the best friend he could possibly have that is there with him

every step of the way and i can say that i've learned by experience that when you lose friendships

you often replace with better friends i'm not telling you to bail on a good friend

what i am saying is that you don't want to hang on to something that's fake

you don't want to stop being a friend because you can find a friend that sticks

closer than a brother you don't want to bail on people that are loyal and proven friends

but if you have friendships in your life that are just not the same and you're

headed different directions you need to realize there's probably people who would be better friends

on to you at the end of the day all of us are going to have moments where we feel alone

and we feel like we don't have friends and it reminds me the song in the hymn where the

the hymn sings earthly friends may prove untrue doubts and fears assail one still loves and

cares for you one who will not fail jesus never fails what a friend we have in jesus

at the end of the day when everything's messed up in your life you feel like there's nobody there

and nobody cares about you you know what you're in dwell with the holy spirit for all eternity

god is with you god cares about you just keep doing what's right keep serving god keep reading

the bible keep going to church keep going so any you know what you find in life is you know what

you have ups and you have downs and it's very easy in the downs to just kind of give up

but here's the thing if you just waited out number one you've got jesus that's there with you

and what i believe god will provide i mean god provided elisha elisha in his darkest moment

and it doesn't feel like that when you're in those moments i'm sure there's people in this room

right now you're in those moments and it doesn't feel like that but can't you say from experience

that god does always come through at the end of the day you know what earthly friends are

gonna prove untrue but you know what jesus never fails he is there with you every step of the way

and he's the greatest friend you could possibly have let's close the water prayer your heavenly

father thank you for allowing us to be here today and ask you to help us to apply this

sermon to our lives god help us to be friends unto people help us not give up on that god and

ask you to help to bless everybody in this room with good and true friends people that

actually care about them and stick closer than a brother we pray this in jesus name amen