Sermon - June 25, 2023 - The Rev. Jack Alvey

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight,

O Lord, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.

Before I officially begin the sermon, I think a prelude is in order. A lot of what I'm about

to say is not only influenced by, of course, the gospel lesson for this morning, but also

by a book I've started reading. And I can't give the proper name from the pulpit, but

the PG version of it is called The Subtle Art of Not Caring So Much. So it's by Mark

Manson. If you're interested, Google it. Although I'm not all the way through it yet, I do

recommend at least taking a look at it. So you have some context here, and I'm going

to open up with a quote from the book, but it was attributed to someone else. Philosopher

Alan Watts talks about the backwards law, the backwards law. The backwards law says

that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as

pursuing something better only reinforces that you lack it in the first place. For example,

today, the more popular you try to become, the more you're going to worry about what

people think about you. And the more you worry about what people think about you, just makes

you feel less popular and less unlikeable. The backwards law. In today's lesson, Jesus

of Nazareth talks about the backwards law of the gospel, or the gospel paradox. Those

who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for Jesus'

sake will save it. Those who want to save their life will become self-centered and self-consumed,

preoccupied with their own needs, failing to see the needs of others, therefore cutting

off relationship with others, relationships that are necessary for life. Those who lose

their life for Jesus aren't as concerned for their own needs because, A, they realize

all of what they really need is found in Jesus, so that the gift of this is they are freed

to become lost or found in serving the needs of another. Simply put, their own needs, the

backwards law of the gospel says our own needs are met by serving the needs of others. The

truth of the backwards law of the gospel is actually supported by psychology. A number

of studies prove that serving the needs of another improves one's mental health, while

constantly seeking validation from others makes one feel more anxious and more depressed.

The temptation here is to try harder to be less selfish. Try harder to be more thoughtful,

more attentive to the needs of another. The temptation is to try harder to be a better

person. But remember the backwards law. The harder you try to be a better person, the

harder you try to be less selfish, the more you reinforce the idea that you are selfish,

that you aren't that good of a person. Therefore, you start to feel worse about yourself and

spiral back into anxiety and depression. In reality, this whole book that we're talking

about, even what Jesus is talking about, is we should stop trying so dang hard. We should

stop caring so much. And this is what I mean. We should stop trying so hard to get people

to like us. We should stop caring so much about what people think about us. So the art,

the subtle art of not caring so much about what people think of us comes with a spiritual

and emotional maturity, one that I'm still very early on in. As St. Paul says, this happens

when we grow into the full stature of Christ. When we try too hard or care too much about

what people think about us, we are focused on the self. We are focused on what we believe

we lack. This causes us either to A, hide away from the world, or B, overcompensate,

neither of which represent our true identity. Again, this leads to depression and anxiety.

And I know I don't have to tell you that social media only amplifies this vicious cycle by

a million billion. So where do we get our ultimate self-worth? If it's not from the

likes on our social media page, if it's not from a participation trophy, if it's not from

an A plus on our last paper, if it's not from the latest performance review, if it's not

from the clothes we wear or the car we drive, where do we know our inherent worth or value?

Well, from an earthly point of view, our own sense of self-worth and value is tied to our

parents. They are the first God-like people in our life. For better and for worse, the

first people we seek validation from are mom or dad or both. Our parents are supposed to

be the first ones to love us and care about us. Our parents are supposed to be the ones

to show us that we are inherently loved and valued as people made in God's image, even

and especially when we mess up. And I'm sure I'm not the only one in this room who just

felt a stab of guilt. So before you try harder to become a better parent, remember the backwards

law. Trying harder to become a better parent will remind you that you don't think you're

a good parent, which leads you to seeking, which leads to a lot of things, primarily

seeking validation from the wrong places. Most of all, seeking validation from your

own children. This doesn't mean we can't receive validation, but to seek it is another

story. While we seek validation from our children, when we seek validation from our children,

or anyone for that matter, we become blind to their needs and desires. It's like a dog

barking up a tree at a squirrel. It's not going to come down, right? We get blind to

their needs, their desires, their wants, and because all of us parents still have that

inner child in us who carries the wounds from our own parents, we will sometimes seek from

our children what our parents failed to give. You with me? For this reason, we need a source

greater than our parents to give us our ultimate value and worth. I believe this is what Jesus

means when he says, whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Ultimately,

the way of God provides more wisdom, more life than even the way of our parents. That

doesn't mean we shouldn't, that we should ignore our parents, it just means to remember

that our parents are far from perfect. Jesus goes on to say, if you love your son or daughter

more than me, you are not worthy of me. In the same vein, we parents need the grace to

help our children know that there is something more important than our word. Even parents

themselves must have the humility to know that they can't give their children everything

they need. Parents need help too. A few weeks ago at Camp McDowell, a fifth grader asked

me if I loved God more than I loved my children. No idea where they got this. I paused. Before

I could answer, the fifth grader said, quoted this verse from the Bible. And I simply replied,

you're right. So if the conversation had continued, I would have said something like, I think

what Jesus means is that God's truth is greater than our children's wants. God's truth is

greater than our children's wants. God is in charge, not our children. As our gospel

lesson suggests, proclaiming the truth of the backwards law of the gospel will often

create derision and division in the household. If we parents love our children as much as

we say we do, then we must be willing to bear the cost of telling the truth. Even if telling

the truth puts us at odds with our children or in what they want. And sometimes telling

the truth to our children or anyone in our lives can cause rifts and division. As much

as we humans would like to think otherwise, these divisions, these rifts are actually

making room for God to work in our lives. These division reminds us that we can't control

how others feel about us. Especially, yes, yes, I said it. These rifts make space for

individuals to grow emotionally and spiritually through suffering. These rifts make it possible

for relationships to be renewed and strengthened with a new set of promises, a new set of expectations

built on the mercy and grace of God. Yes, we are taking a great risk by telling the

truth. Yes, the consequences for telling, there are consequences for telling the truth.

Like Jesus said last week, we risk being hated and persecuted even by our own family. We

risk losing friends or partners. We risk losing touch with our family. We might even risk

our jobs. But Jesus is trying to show us that there is actually a greater risk. And that

greater risk is doing nothing. If we do nothing, then we can't die to a life that is killing

us. And if we don't die to a life that is killing us, then how can we know and allow

God to raise us to a life that can save us? If we care too much about what others think

about us, then we are more likely going to do nothing, paralyzed by fear, stuck. But

the good news of the kingdom tells us, gives us the grace and courage to take these risks,

to trust the backwards law of the gospel. Because the good news of the kingdom promises

that derision and division is not the end of the story. In fact, derision and division

are the necessary beginning to a story that leads to eternal life, to a life we all seek,

a life where our true value and our true worth is revealed when we honor and celebrate the

true value and worth of the other. The human response to try harder is a product

of our own thought that our work defines who we are. There's even a song we sing about

that, may the work that I've done speak for me. But this human desire is at odds with

the truth of the gospel, a truth that says we cannot earn God's love. We are loved right

where we are before we lift a finger. So does this mean we don't have to love and serve

the Lord? By no means. That God loves us any way we can eat, drink and be merry? Well,

in a way, yes. You don't have to earn God's love. This is the backwards law of the gospel.

God's love for us never changes. There's nothing you can do to make God love you any

more. There's nothing you can do to make God love you any less. However, I don't believe

that God came to free us from responsibility, but as someone else said, God came to free

us for responsibility, responsibility for those around us, to take care of the needs

of the other, of the vulnerable, the poor, the outcasts, without fear of what might happen

to us or be said about us. The work that God gives us to do in the way of the cross, feeding

the hungry, clothing the naked, seeking the outcasts, visiting the prisoner, caring for

the widow and orphan and outcast, helps us live into the truth of the identity that we

already have in Christ, a truth that says that God loves us so much that there is nowhere

that our God wouldn't go to find us, care for us, and love us, and save us through Jesus

Christ our Lord. Amen.