Matthew 19:1-30 | Kingdom Now: Hardness of Heart

I appreciate you being here this morning.

We're going to get into chapter 19.

In chapter 19

is it's a it's a tough chapter to read

and and to let speak.

To understand what it says and

and to get some to some deeper things

to kind of behind the initial things.

And so as we prepare for this,

this truth of chapter 19,

I just again encourage us to

just let let the Bible talk

and just kind of be

in the moment with the Scripture.

It'll have something to say for every one of us.

But in in setting up this chapter, I was thinking

this week

about chapter 19, and I thought, I thought, here's what's going on.

Have any of you been around somebody

where they asked a question, but they're really trying to get to a deeper question.

Ever been around someone who's there asking something?

But, you know, that's not like they have an agenda behind the first question.

Anybody.

And they're kind of leading you.

It it's pretty deceitful honestly.

Like don't be a lawyer right now.

If you got a question, just ask me.

Right.

Like, don't offend me by trying to manipulate something out of me.

Just be honest and ask the question anybody?

Yeah, I have people like that in my life.

I try not to be around them.

I try not to talk to them because you just.

It's hard to try to trust them.

Like, where are you going with this?

That Jesus experienced this all the time,

specifically with the Pharisees and the scribes.

And whenever Jesus faced them and their questions,

he rarely ever answered them outrightly because he knew that there was an

issue beneath the question.

And so what Jesus

did, he always got to the issue.

And so we're going to see that in Matthew 19.

There's going to be asked two questions, but he realizes there's

a deeper issue under the questions, and that's where he's going to get to.

But we're going to talk

about the two questions, but we're going to talk about what's underneath them.

That's what chapter 19 is.

And so here's the big idea for this chapter.

Jesus confronts the hardness of heart because his kingdom consists of commitment

and sacrifice, while our kingdom consists

of loopholes and excuses.

This is going to be our tendency this morning

as we go through chapter 19

to explain our loopholes

and our excuses, we're going to say, yeah, but for me.

But see, but see, maestro, but see what I experienced, but see what I

and we're going to,

we're going to see in these two questions that are brought up in chapter 19,

we're going to we're going to read them for what they are, but we're going to

the first thing that's going to pop in our head are our loopholes and excuses.

So just just suspend that tendency for a moment.

You understand that just that's our kingdom.

So just suspend that for a moment.

Let the Scripture do what it says

when it's taught as profitable for rebuking, correcting and training.

Rebuking says, I'm going to confront you with error that you're thinking right now

and the way you're living.

And then I'm going to correct you and show you the right way,

God's way, and I'm going to train you how to walk in that way.

So that's what the Scripture is supposed to do.

It's supposed to rebuke us and confront us.

Our tendency is going to happen is to put the brakes on and say,

oh no, no, no, no, no, no,

that doesn't that my story is a little bit different here.

Don't like let it rebuke so that it can correct.

Because in correction is training on the back side of that is mercy and grace.

And so I would

encourage us in this moment just say, you know, father,

confront me and convict me and train me

all by your grace.

Just as a God increase my desire

for righteousness and holiness and obedience.

Just put yourself in that position.

Chapter 19.

There's a lot.

I'm a I'm a I'm a priest.

I'm gonna teach fast, as fast as I can

and still get through this in a way that's credible.

Verses one and two.

Now, when Jesus had finished saying these things.

What things?

Well, the things you just said in Matthew 18

all about forgiveness and how many times I have to give somebody,

what if they can just keep on doing it? Just keep forgiving on why?

Because you've been forgiven a lot more than you will ever forgive.

That was all. Chapter 18.

And he finished saying those things.

He went away from Galilee, and that's up north and into the region of Judea,

beyond the Jordan, kind of down south.

And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

What surprises me about those two little verses

is that these people just thronged to Jesus,

and I'm sure that they did ask him for them.

I'm sure that there were some people who believed in him in this crowd.

But the Bible, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit,

only tells us a crowd followed and he healed them. Because why?

Because he had compassion.

What amazes me about that

is there's no indication that these people even believed in Jesus.

They just were like, look, I got a need.

You got resources.

And Jesus is like, you know, you're right, I have resources.

You have a need. And so let me just go ahead and heal you.

I just love that about it because he's so full of compassion.

He's such a merciful God and his mercies are new every morning.

His compassion kind of spills out of him onto those of us in need,

without even asking,

without even great belief, he just says, let me heal what's broken.

I want you to understand that.

I want you to keep that kind of as the umbrella.

As we go through the rest of chapter 19, do you understand?

You may not even realize.

Your need to ask for healing.

But he is so compassionate that God wants to heal.

And I hope you find that this morning,

verse three, and the Pharisees came up to him

and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?

Let me just kind of give you this.

The scenario that's going on here.

Jesus is leaving Galilee up in the north and moving down towards the Jordan

in the south.

He's headed towards Jerusalem.

Well, he'll spend the last few weeks of his life

before his crucified and resurrected.

So he's moving from the north down to the south.

And here's, here's what's happened, this interplay here.

When these Pharisees come and ask, is it lawful for a man to life for any cause?

What's happening is there's these two schools of thought within Judaism.

One was in the north, headed by Rabbi Shammai.

Everybody say Shammai, and the other one was in the South had run by

Rabbi Hillel.

Everybody say Hillel.

And so these two schools of thought were the primary and predominant ones

in Jerusalem.

And all the rabbis kind of followed one of those two schools, the one in the North.

Shammai was very strict and very conservative,

and the understanding, teaching and application of the law of God,

the one in the South, Hillel, was very liberal and very loose

with the understanding, teaching and application of the Word of God.

And so they all

they each have their different things that they allowed and disallowed.

No nor Shammai very strict South Hillel very liberal.

And so these these Pharisees are asking Jesus, is it

lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason? Why?

Because these two schools of thought are coming into conflict now.

One rabbi, the circle is going to say very limited allowance.

The one, the liberal one in the South is going to say, oh heck yeah, anything.

And so they're putting Jesus kind of in this, in this corner.

They want him to choose which one are you?

Are you do you follow Rabbi Chemise teaching or Rabbi Hill's teaching?

The interesting thing is the Apostle Paul, he grew up way down south,

actually in like in Sicily,

who would be more of the Hillel school, which was very gracious and very little,

I don't want to say liberal, because that's a different connotation

in our day, but a much more allowance and grace filled

Peter was more up in the in the North, which was very legalistic.

And so even within Jesus followers, there were these things that they brought

to the table with them

and their understanding of God's Word and how to be a disciple.

And so that's kind of the scenario.

And so they ask, is it lawful for a man of for any reason?

Look at verses for

he answered, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning

made them male and female, and said, therefore the man shall leave his father

and mother, and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

So they no longer they are no longer two, but one, one flesh.

Therefore God has joined together.

Let not man separate.

And so Jesus says, listen,

you want to talk about something to take you back to the garden.

In the beginning, God made man and woman, male and female.

There's only two.

They don't come together and make a third like it's.

And marriage exists between a man and a woman.

You can't redefine that.

That's that's God's intent from the beginning.

That's where Jesus takes them right back to the garden.

And in the beginning, God instituted this thing that we call marriage

between a man and a woman.

And it was intended by God from the beginning to be a lifelong

covenant commitment that you cannot, once you get into it, get out of everybody.

Clear.

That's where Jesus takes them back to.

They want Jesus says, listen, there's a difference between men and women.

They were created at different times.

Man was created first and then a woman.

They were created from different substance.

Man was created from the dust of the earth.

Women was created from the side of a man.

They were created with different responsibilities.

Man had the responsibility to manage and to rule over, and woman

had the responsibility to complete the man because the man was incomplete

and a man is not complete without the completion of his wife,

and the two of them together give the fullness of the image of God.

Both of them are image bearers.

Both male and female are image bearers of God Almighty.

We each just present a different,

a different image of who God is, both male and female,

and together in marriage is the more of the fullness of God's image.

That's what Jesus is saying. Do you follow?

And that union, God's purpose from the beginning

was that that be a forever lifetime commitment?

So Jesus says, you want to talk about divorce.

I want to talk about the garden and God's purpose.

You want to talk about your opinion.

I want to talk about the Bible.

That's what he says, which is a great place to be

because everybody has their opinions, right? Opinions like belly buttons.

Everybody's got one but Adam and Eve, right?

Follow that.

So? So Jesus is like, look, I get it.

You have your opinions.

Whatever. I'm gonna take you back to the Bible.

That's where we always need to land.

And so as we go through these two issues,

everybody's going to have their opinion about it.

You're all going to have your opinion.

What we want to do here, just go back to the Bible.

Because here's the thing.

My I have to move my position.

I can't try to move God's standard.

So even when our opinion differs,

it's my opinion that has to move, not the standard of God.

We we good. Everybody understand.

So that's where I'm coming from with the Scripture here.

And that's where we always have to arrive.

And Jesus says, for this reason, this marriage reason,

a man will leave his father and mother and cleave and be united and attached to.

So there has to be a marriage, a leaving of all other things and all other people,

so that the two can cleave one to another where there was once two.

Now there's one, a whole separate entity.

That's what happens in marriage, that marriage

is a completely different entity than what existed before.

It's not a man and woman come together and learn how to live with each other.

It's a whole new creation.

This is God's intent.

And because God created marriage, he has say over what it is.

And because that's the case, Jesus is saying

man and women do not have the right to separate it.

That's what he's saying.

And so he said, I don't want to talk about divorce.

I want to talk about marriage.

And so then they press him as they do, as we all do.

Verse seven, they said to him, when?

Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and send her away?

He said to them,

because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives.

But from the beginning it was not.

So I say to you,

whoever divorces his wife,

except for sexual immorality and marriage and other commits adultery.

And so they said, listen, if it's supposed to be forever.

Why did Moses command, you know, men to divorce their wives?

Jesus was like, well, you're wrong.

Moses never commanded it.

Moses gave allowance for it, but it was never the command in Scripture.

Divorce is never the command of Scripture, ever.

There's an allowance for it.

And see, Jesus is going to get to the issue behind the question,

because the question is ultimately not about the issue is ultimately

not about divorce and marriage he is going to get to.

But what they're referring to is what's listed for us

in the Old Testament, the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 24.

Deuteronomy 24 · chapter mention

It's one of the only places in Scripture that gives the instructions

if a divorce is to happen, and Moses and Deuteronomy 24 tells the people,

when a man takes a wife and marries her, if, then she finds

no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her,

and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand.

And since her out of his house and she departs out of his house,

and then he goes on

with this long explanation of what her life is then like and what

other people's life are like around her.

And so this is what they're talking about, Moses said.

If a man finds some indecency in his wife,

then the allowance then would be for divorce.

And so so this this is what they misinterpret.

And they say he commanded us to divorce her

if she's rotten and she says, no, not at all.

He never commanded that.

He may have allowed it.

So listen, from the beginning he says, it was not so.

God designed a marriage to be a lifelong commitment

and the covenant commitment with each other.

The thing at issue here is that

divorce is a divine concession

due to man's sinfulness and weakness.

It's never a command of God.

Do you understand?

It's a divine concession, not a command.

The thing at issue is the indecency.

If one finds their spouse to be indecent.

Now here's where the North and the South come into play.

These two schools of thought, Shammai and Hillel.

Indecency in hell's mind.

The one down south, the Liberal one.

Indecency for him would be this.

Guys, you're married.

You come home after a hard day of work and your wife puts some burn to your dinner.

That is indecent of her.

How dare she divorce her?

Hillel would say that

if your wife speaks disparagingly about your parents, she's indecent.

Divorce her.

How many of you would still be married?

Hillel would

say that if your wife is so indecent that she would raise her voice

through your neighbors, hear her, divorce her.

Hillel would say that

it is your religious duty

to divorce a bad woman,

so it actually makes you more righteous if you get rid of her.

Well, my dad was a sergeant in the Marine Corps in Vietnam,

and he came home from Vietnam and he had this jacket that I just loved.

It was all kind of dragon and Vietnamese.

And on the back it said,

when I die, I know I'm going to heaven because I spent my time in hell.

That's exactly what School of Hillel said about bad women,

that when I die, I know I'm going to heaven

because I've already done my time in hell with a bad woman.

That's later another Rabbi, Akiva, would come in the school of Hillel and say

this, that it is indecent for a woman to be less attractive than her neighbor.

So if a man finds a woman more attractive than the one he married,

he should divorce her and go get the more attractive one

because it's indecent for her to be less attractive.

Now, listen, they had a very high view of marriage.

Everybody had be, but they had a very low view of women.

Do you understand?

That's this school of thought now in the in the North,

the School of Shammai said, no, no, no, there's only one reason.

Deuteronomy 24 if a man finds this sexual indecency in her

and she has transgressed the marriage covenant sexually,

that's the only reason for divorce.

And so that's what's that's, that's the the schools that are in play here.

Now listen, Jesus size in this case more with the like.

No, no, there's one reason you don't go to divorce a woman for any reason at all.

That's ridiculous.

There's one reason given by Moses, general 24, in decency.

But Jesus uses the word Pawnee,

which means any type of sexual expression outside of the marriage.

Not just not just the intimate act, but any type of sexual

expression outside the marriage.

It's a very broad term.

So though Jesus sides with the more conservative

interpretation, it's still a very, very wide application.

Honestly.

But Jesus, he says, listen, the issue that you're asking

the issue is really not about marriage and divorce.

There's a deeper one, and he's going to address it in just a minute.

But because it's in the context of of of marriage and divorce,

I have to deal with that issue here because I know if I don't,

if I just get to what the real heart of the issue

is, you're all going to walk out saying he never dealt with it.

And so let me deal with the issue of divorce.

There is no doubt that marriage is under attack.

It always has been in every culture, there's no doubt.

And we're seeing a great change

in our nation's attitude towards marriage and practice of it.

So much so that the Gen Z generation now,

which would be the early 20s, early 30s, that generation,

they are marriages and marriages.

They're marrying much later in life.

The average age now for the Gen Z

marriage is in the late 20s, early 30s.

That's that's when the that's the average.

So if you're in your later 20s, early 30s, you're not married yet.

You're not the anomaly.

That's that's your generation.

They just don't marry early at all.

And there are fewer marriages

and later marriages than any generation before.

And so the actually the divorce rate in the in this new this Gen Z generation

is much lower than any generation well than the previous 2 or 3 for sure.

But the reason is because they're married so late in

life, are not getting married at all.

So numerically, it just seems like there's

less divorce.

It's interesting though,

the Gen Z generation is the first generation in our country

that we, since we've been tracking generations,

that is actually growing up worse off than their parents.

Every generation before millennials,

Gen X, boomers, pioneers, all that stuff.

All those generations always grew up with the understanding and expectation

and reality that their life was going to be better than their parents.

This was the first generation that they realized it's not,

and it's the first generation that we, since we be tracking this,

where there are more men who want to be married than women,

and this Gen Z generation of women are looking

at the state of marriage and thinking, why do I want to invite that into my life?

And they're looking at young men their age who are addicted

to porn in video games and like, why do I want to invite that?

Why do I want to invite into my life this issue that

this boy has been addicted to?

Point of video games.

I don't need that hassle.

And so there's like there's none. I'm not.

And so we're seeing

this this quantum shift in our country as far as marriage is concerned.

And the other thing we're seeing

as far as marriage is concerned is the dramatic increase of grade divorce.

It's on a dramatic rise where older

adults represent the

much larger share of divorces

because they grew up in the older people.

The 50s and 60 year olds grew up in the they were children

and the baby boom generation and the baby boom generation

at the highest level, divorce of any generation.

So they grow up in that culture.

And now as older adults, they're starting to live that out.

In 1990, there were only 8%

of all divorces were aged 50 and older.

And today that's nearly 40% of all divorces

are of people 50 years and older, 40%

of full, 10% of all divorces are of married

people who are 65 and older.

And of those who are 50 and older who are divorcing.

It's doubled more than doubled

in the last couple of decades, like it's just grown exponentially.

The other issue that's really attacking marriage is the issue

with the younger generation, because they're not getting married,

they're just cohabitating.

And the couples just statistically who cohabitate before marriage,

that cohabitation is associated with a much larger increase in instability

that leads to divorce by nearly 40% increase.

You want to you want to hedge your bet

that you'll get divorced, cohabitate before you're married.

Your chances go up 40%.

And so this whole marriage and divorce thing is,

it's though the numbers seem like they're better now, it's they're really better

because people are living together and just not getting married.

Marriage.

From the beginning,

God set the standard in the design that it would be all life with no divorce.

So I tell young people before, you know, as you're dating, you're looking for

someone to marry, look for three things physical, fun and faith.

There's got to be the physical attraction.

There's got to be that factor.

You got to have fun with each other.

If you're not attracted physically and there's no fun, there's no marriage.

But there's got to be the faith factor.

And most people get married because they check the first two boxes.

Never think about the third.

The problem with the first two boxes, they're going to die off pretty soon.

Marriage isn't always fun, right?

You might start this whole thing over.

So respond to me like married.

Don't be afraid.

Your spouse knows you're no fun.

Marriage isn't always fun, right?

Right, right.

And the physical stuff fades, right?

Don't worry. You faded.

And so.

So if those two go away, what are you left with?

If the faith thing isn't there, that's the only thing that lasts.

And because so many people get married, because the first two,

pretty soon they find out those are gone, they got nothing left.

And so this is why Jesus is saying, look, listen,

I want you to understand the intent and let's be wise going into this.

Don't rush into this.

The exception given here is adultery.

And I would add to that first Corinthians

715 abandonment.

When a spouse abandons their marriage and abandons their vows,

that's an allowance that seems that Paul gave.

Now, it's interesting

that Paul would give that, because Paul lived down in the South

under the more gracious application of the Word of God.

Peter lived up north, which was very strict.

And when you look at how they both presented

discipleship, one was very strict and one was very gracious.

And so even within God's kingdom and disciples, there was this how do we

how do we move this together?

And so Paul would add this one instance of abandonment.

And it seems as God determined his word.

He didn't say, no, Paul, you're wrong.

And so, so adultery,

which is a very broad term, any sexual expression

outside of marriage and abandonment, there would be the allowance,

not the command.

You don't have to

just because someone does that, but the allowance if you chose to.

Now abandonment again, this is all that's going into this simple question.

Abandonment is certainly leaving.

But abandonment also is when one spouse

continually sins against with chronic and repentance,

they've abandoned the promise of that covenant.

And some rabbis would say that's a legitimate biblical reason

for divorce, because they've abandoned the covenant,

perpetual sin against with perpetual and repentance.

Abandonment.

There could be sexual abandonment outside the marriage and sexual

abandonment inside the marriage, where it's just non-existent

abandonment.

These are all the things that are in play here.

Certainly physical abuse would be abandonment.

The have abandoned the protection of the marriage covenant.

And so so the question is marriage and divorce.

Jesus is going to get to something deeper.

But I want to explore to you the context of biblical divorce.

If a couple runs into problems and chooses to separate,

the biblical expectation is because if it's not a biblical divorce,

even though they're separate, they live as if they are married to each other

and are still pure and chaste with other people.

They choose to live as a single purely.

Now here's how convoluted it gets if they're separated,

and the one who initially wasn't in error takes up intimately with someone else.

Now, technically they've committed adultery

because in God's eyes, that couple, though they're separate, are still married.

So now this one has no problem remarrying.

Do you see how convoluted it gets?

Do you see how confused you're like, okay, wait wait wait wait

wait, why all of these different scenarios?

The reason is because we look for loopholes

when God has said, this is my standard.

And so the issue

marriage and divorce was not the issue.

The issue was hardness of heart.

And Jesus says is because you're hardness of heart.

It's not because of indiscretion,

because that hardness of heart applies in both ways.

It could be that the hardness of heart is in the offending person,

who chronically offends and is completely unrepentant, perpetually unrepentant.

That's just a hard heart.

Or in the one who is offended against that.

My heart is so hard I refuse to forgive.

In light of Matthew 18, how many times I have to keep forgiven you?

Well, what Matthew 18 say,

as long as you're repentant iki forgiving.

And so Jesus says, listen, I know you wanted to talk about marriage and divorce.

I want to talk about God's design.

And the issue of getting out of that covenant is because

hearts are hard.

It's just because hearts are hard.

It just gets so convoluted.

And here's here's why.

Because the human heart wants the benefits of God's kingdom

without fully submitting to the authority of the King.

If the question were really about marriage,

the question would have been this how do I honor marriage

when it gets difficult? The question, what about marriage?

It would have been, how do I keep my commitment?

The question we're really about marriage.

The question would have been,

how do I restore that relationship that's been broken?

If the question were really about marriage,

it would have been a different question.

So they were looking for loopholes.

And then what you and I do,

we look for loopholes,

not just in marriage, but like in every in everything with the Bible

gives us instruction. We look for loopholes.

Why is it different for me?

Jesus identifies the problem.

The problem is a hard heart.

And so Jesus shifts the focus from

what's permitted to what's intended.

He said it might be permitted, but that's not the intent.

Let's get back to the intent

and listen, my dear friends, and some of the toughest.

This was one of the toughest areas of life to navigate, and certainly

for the church to to have an understanding of teaching

and some of the toughest areas of life.

It calls for great, great, great,

measured biblical wisdom.

And the guiding principle is this that legal permission

is not always, always the same as spiritual maturity.

The general point is this please hear me on the

some of this hits hits you right in the face.

You've lived this. You are living this.

Here's the here's the overall principle to this.

If there's been divorce in the past.

And there's remarriage now,

live by the biblical principle

of stay faithful in the place you are.

Stay faithful in the place you are.

If there's been this in the past

and there's stay faithful where you are now, don't go back

and try to recreate something and try to, you know, get back like it's done.

It's not going to be repaired

when there's repentance, because divorce is always the result of

sin, always at some levels result of sin because it was never God's intent.

If there's repentance and remarriage,

live in faithfulness to that covenant.

Now, do you understand that

experience, the grace of God

in repentance?

There's now therefore no condemnation.

Though it was wrong, it's been repented of

that condemnations is leveled upon Christ on the cross.

That's how great is his mercy and compassion than in your current marriage.

Be faithful

and experience his grace over that.

Don't make the mistake of extremes.

There's two extremes the church can make in this.

We got to be very careful about both of them.

One of them is being too lax regarding marriage and divorce, like Hillel.

You know, it just didn't work out.

I'm just not happy. Listen, marriage isn't about our self-gratification.

It's about God's glorification primarily.

The other extreme is to think

divorce is the unpardonable sin because it's not.

It's not.

So when there is that unfortunate

reality, confess, repent,

and then live in the grace that God has now.

And if there's biblical remarriage, be faithful. Now

do you understand?

The great example of the great encouragement for all of us is King David

sin greatly, and was chastised

painfully by God and repented.

And from that repentance on was faithful to his now wife.

And out of that union came Solomon.

Incredible favor and blessing.

That's the mercy and grace of God.

So live in that.

The logical question

in verse ten is the disciples asked him

if such is the case of a man with his wife, it's better not to marry.

I mean, like Peter is like, look, here's the deal, man.

There's no way we can't.

This is too hard if that's the intent.

That's the purpose of marriage. And that's the only way.

That's that's too much.

And just like, yeah, you're right, it is a lot.

And he said, listen, here's the deal.

If you can, if you can receive this, receive it.

It's a tough teaching.

Not everyone can receive this same, but only those to whom it's given.

And then he says,

look, there's three reasons why you wouldn't get married

when he talks in terms of Unix.

I don't want to go into this whole thing, but

some people just can't

do the marriage thing and they can't consummate and they've

they've either born that way or they're made that way

because of kings and harems and all this stuff and or this third case,

like they have been given the gift of celibacy.

That's basically what Jesus is saying.

Some have been given this gift of being single.

And instead of worrying about, please

in your spouse, you're worried about pleasing God.

And it's a gift.

And he says, if you can receive that gift, receive it.

But it's tough.

So here's the thing. You young ones aren't married.

Anybody who's not married.

If you're sitting here thinking the gift of celebration,

that thing that's sounds horrible, like that's the gift you never use.

I would hate that. You know,

like, if that's your

feeling about being celibate, you probably haven't been given the gift.

So don't worry about it.

So go find someone. Miriam. Right.

Have a good time.

But understand it's for all the rest of your life.

So that's the whole point.

I love the fact that right after this, Jesus deals with children.

Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray.

And the disciples rebuked him.

But you said, let the little children come to me,

and don't hinder, for such belongs to the kingdom of heaven.

He laid his hands on them, and they went away.

I love the fact that

right after marriage and divorce, children are dealt with. Why?

Because more often than not, in divorce, children

are forgotten about and they're the ones who suffer most.

We forget about that.

And so Jesus says, let me highlight kids.

Here's kids are either going to be seen as an interruption or an opportunity.

They better be seen as an opportunity in this church.

Do you understand that?

And he puts his hands on any blessings.

I mean, he probably blessed him with a three fold blessing on number six.

The Lord bless you and keep you.

The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.

And the Lord lift his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Here's what he's saying

for God to lift up his countenance, the person has to be above it,

because lift him up your countenance lift you up your head.

And so think about it in terms of a daddy with the little kid.

In any dads have a little child

and you throw them up in the air and what do you do?

Your countenance is lifted up towards them, your eyes are on them,

and you make sure that they are caught so they will learn that they can trust you.

That's what he's saying here.

May the Lord lift up his count and say, yeah, I love you.

That's the blessing.

And he follows up with children right after divorce.

Because

because oftentimes kids are

forgotten about in this whole thing.

Yeah.

I find it interesting that Jesus never asked children to act like adults.

You always ask adults to be childlike.

And I love the fact that he says, let the little children come to me.

Hear me on this, please.

This ought to be great comfort

for any of you who have lost a little one,

because Jesus says, let them come to me,

their mind.

I'll receive them.

Such comfort, such compassion.

He's a good God.

I have one minute

for the rest of this chapter.

And behold, a man came up to him saying, teacher,

what good deed must I do to have eternal life?

And he said to him, why do you ask him what is good?

There's only one who is good.

And if you would enter life, keep the commandments, he said, in which ones?

And Jesus said, you shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal your shop.

Air force witness honor your father and mother,

and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

The young man said, all of these I kept what I still lack.

Jesus said, if you would be perfect, go sell your possessions

and give to the poor.

Then you will have treasure in heaven. And come, follow me.

When the young man heard this,

you enter is sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

The first question was, what about divorce in marriage?

The second question is what about religion and being right?

Jesus says it's not about divorce and remarriage,

it's about the hardness of your heart and loopholes.

And it's not about being religious and right.

It's about the hardness of your heart and have an excuse

to keep everything for yourself because you're selfish and materialistic.

That's what he's saying.

Jesus says, why do you say what's good?

There's only one who's good is God.

So you're coming to me asking me what's good.

How do you be good?

Because you know you don't have what's good.

You know that I do.

In essence, you're saying you're dealing with God right now when you talk to me.

So I love the fact that this guy wants to talk about religion.

And Jesus says, no, no, no, you deal with me.

You deal with me.

And if you want to be right with me, you want to boil it down to religion,

obey the commands. And then he list commands.

He goes back to the Ten Commandments, and the first five had to do

with our relationship with people, but it leaves one of them out.

What does he leave out?

He leaves one of the commandments out and you catch it.

What? Covetous.

He didn't say don't covet. Why? Because the man was filthy rich.

He bought everything he wanted. He didn't covet anything.

And when he saw it, he bought it.

But he adds, one of the commandment wasn't part of the Ten Commandments.

What was it?

Love your neighbor as yourself.

And Jesus says, the way you're going to prove your love

is if you give and are generous.

Because he knew the issue

was not being religiously right, the issue was a hard heart

that wanted to keep all of his resources for his own selfish use.

So Jesus obeyed the commands of those love your neighbor.

And the way you're going to show love is by giving.

Because right to the heart, right to the core.

See, this man came to him

saying that he wanted holiness and righteousness,

but what he did was really love his money.

And Jesus didn't let him off the hook.

He says, listen, you want to talk about religion.

I want to talk about your heart.

And he went away sad, but he kept his stuff.

Here's here's how I know that our possessions don't make us happy.

He kept all his possessions and was still sad.

Do you understand?

Because God's kingdom is a flip side kingdom.

The man came to

Jesus, said he wanted holiness and joy.

It's proved the fact that that this guy,

he would rather live with less righteousness and more money

than to be generous with his resources and gain

righteousness.

See hard hearts.

Always look for excuses not to surrender.

The opposite Jesus and the opposite of materialism.

And I'm not asking me

in poverty, but the opposite of materialism

in your life is surrender.

And he says, listen, this is hard, I get it.

This is this is all this is all very difficult.

Just says, truly, I say to you, only with difficulty

will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven.

Again, I tell you, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle

than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.

So I get it. This is hard.

This is hard stuff like this whole marriage for everything.

That's it's hard to stay married forever.

This whole, like, generous with my.

That's hard. It's hard to be generous

because I get it.

It ain't easy.

But listen, it's hard for.

He says it's hard for a rich person to get into heaven.

Why not? Because money is bad.

God is the giver of money.

But because money gives us a false sense of self-reliance.

And secondly, the Bible says we can't serve both God and God.

Choose one.

One of them is going to get priority.

The best indicator

here it is the best indicator if finances is a top priority is

can you submit to the standard of giving which is 10%?

Or can you go beyond that to generous giving?

It's the easiest assessment

if money is top priority.

And that's what Jesus is.

Getting your hard heart keeps you stingy, is what he says.

John.

Jesus talks more about money and resources than he does heaven or hell.

Every 10th verse in the Gospels is about resources.

So on the surface, both questions look like about marriage

and divorce, and religion and money both sound.

Both of both of these questions

sound like they're looking for a spiritual standard to live by,

but they're actually both looking for a manageable standard

to live with.

And that's what makes us look

for loopholes and excuses.

What what they're really asking

is, how far can I go without being guilty?

What they're really asking

is, how minimally can I do

without surrounding everything, what they're really asking?

Technically, what's really required, just technically

what they're really asking is where's the exception?

What they're really asking is how much can I keep for myself?

And Matthew

25 and 26 he says, listen, with man it's impossible.

Both God, all things are possible.

He said.

He says, look, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle.

What he's doing, he's relieving the pressure

because this is tough teaching right now.

Right, right, right.

And so he's like, look, I get it.

I've been pressing hard.

And so he tells a joke in Hebrew, exaggeration was humor.

And so I was like, look, I know it's hard to tell you.

Let me I got something. Watch this.

Gamble through.

Ivan. It's so funny.

He was joking.

Like, he's he's making it funny

because he knows it's hard, but he's making a point.

He's saying with man, it's impossible.

With God, all things are possible.

Here's where he said, you can't.

You can't manufacture this obedience by willpower.

It's too hard

forgiving someone over and over and over.

It's too hard on your own by your own real power, right?

Right. Yeah.

Staying married forever.

It's too right? Right.

Sometimes you're like, oh,

being 10% tithe is that easy?

No, being generous beyond the tithe is that easy.

Because, look, I know it's hard, I get it.

The demands of the kingdom are not light.

And you cannot do it by being religious.

And you cannot do it by your willpower.

You need the power of God by the Spirit of God,

because the power of God, by the Spirit of God will enable

you do everything that God has commanded by God.

You can't do it on your own.

I mean, Peter asked the natural question, well, God, we've given up everything.

What do we get for giving it all up?

I get the question

and Jesus says, listen,

anybody has given up homes and families and relationships for the kingdom.

You'll get a hundred times back in more than that, you'll get an eternal life

thrown in.

Man. I prayed that prayer when we moved here to start this church.

I prayed that prayer in Matthew 19.

Over and over and over, God. We gave up a home.

We gave up a church.

We gave up friends. We gave up everything to come start.

I want 100 fold, but I didn't want it all on earth.

Because who wants 100 friends?

And who wants 100 kids and wants 100 mother in law?

You know, it's just I want I want this, I want this

eternal heritage 100 fold what I gave up.

And Jesus says, don't worry, you'll get it.

Because everything you get give up for me.

Every investment you make in the kingdom is noticed and repaid 100 fold.

I know I've asked a lot of you, he says.

I know my the man's.

My kingdom are astronomical.

You can't do it on your own.

Quit trying to be religious. You're going to muster this.

Submit yourself to my word.

Let it rebuke you.

Let it correct you, let it train you,

and rely on the power of my Spirit to enable you to do it.

That's life in the Kingdom.

And when we give ourselves

in repentance to the mercy and grace of Almighty God,

it is a beautiful thing to live in his mercy and grace.

Let's not look for loopholes and excuses.

Submit ourselves to a standard by his grace.

I'm proud of you,

Matthew or Matthew 19 is tough.

Matthew 19 stuff.

We will not do this on our own.

I invite you in this moment

to ask the Spirit of God to help you be faithful and obedient.

Father, thank you.

Thank you that you don't ask us to just kind of muscle it up

and get through this on our own.

Think you don't ask us to follow you with willpower and self-determination,

thinking that you've said, look, you cannot do this apart from my spirit.

And so, father, by your spirit, clothe us

with the power of your spirit

to soften our hearts

to obedience and holiness, and to righteousness.

I pray that your Word continues to rebuke us, so that it can correct us,

so that we will be trained in righteousness.

Father, thank you that though

the failures of our past may still be painful in our present,

in repentance, all that condemnation has been leveled against your son.

What a glorious, glorious truth.

Thank you that your mercies are new every morning,

that even when we fall short of your standard,

which we all do, that your mercy and your grace are new

when we come in repentance, and so in repentance.

Grant us all that your grace will allow.

You are a good God.

You're a good God.

Thank you for your goodness to us.

We give ourselves to you.

And your name I pray. Amen.

Listen.

Well done.

There's a lot there, right?

I want you to.

This week, I want you to go to our app and go to the message notes.

And at the end of the message notes, there's this four fold assessment

of our becoming Christlike

in these areas of hardness of heart.

So take advantage of that app that we've given you.

Read through all those questions.

Follow our devotional throughout the week, but especially today.

Do your own assessment in these areas,

those fourfold assessment at the bottom of the message notes on the app.

Just commit to yourself

in our spiritual formation process to becoming Christlike.

Those four assessments will help.

Do you understand?

All right, I love you. I'm proud of you.

God's mercy and grace are profound and their brand new for us.

This morning

in ready for next week, read through chapter 20 and let's let God

kind of walk us as we get to the culmination of this whole Jesus story,

his life, his death as a resurrection because of God's mercy and grace.

Stand up church. Let's sing.