What Submission Isn't - Chris Osburn

When the heart of the King was married with wine, he commanded

metahuman Biz. The harbona, big, Tha Back tha's

ether and carcass 7 Unix who served in the presence of King,

a hearse us which is King Xerxes to bring Queen vashti before the

king, wearing her royal crown in order to show her beauty to the

people and the officials for she was beautiful to behold but the

queen vashti refused to come at the King's Command brought by

his eunuchs. Therefore, the King was Furious

and his anger burned within him. So we need to understand the

context of what's going on here. This King had this party so much

that he was actually. It says he was merry with wine.

Basically he was drunk and all his buddies were around him and

he'd go calls for his Queen to come and present herself before

him. So we need to ask the question,

we can see here that she refused to come at the King's Command.

This was her husband. So she Fuse to do it.

She wasn't going for that. She didn't want to be basically

objectified before the king and before all the people that were

with him. So the question here for us is,

does she have a defense was? She was she in the right for not

submitting to the king? So that's kind of how we're

going to discuss tonight a little bit.

So when she refused actually, it made Xerxes mad and she ended up

actually being banished from King Xerxes and the land.

So we're talking about two people actually, who do not

believe in God and did not worship the god of Israel.

These people, of course, were living hundreds of years before

the New Testament was written. Before anybody said wives to

submit yourself to your husband's and the husband's love

your wives. But the point here is that even

though they didn't know, God and had not heard God's word, God's

word had not been delivered yet. It did not mean that they had

the not have an obligation to God, you know, just because We

are born into this world whether we know God or not, we are still

under God's law. So we have to realize that these

people back in the day before they even knew God's law, they

were still under God's law. So this also goes into a Moral

Moral law, that that they just understood the moral law, you

know, the moral laws and what was right and wrong between

husband and wife. We want to move on to see what,

of course submission isn't. So the question was, was Queen

vashti justified in the case, refusing to submit to her

husband, So the bigger question is, if you're a wife are there

times where you are Justified and not submitting or respecting

your husband Wishes? The answer.

That question. Of course, we have to go to the

primary patches that we just talked about, which is

Ephesians, 5:22 through 24, and in verse 23, and it says their

wives submit to your own husband's as to the Lord, for

the husband is the head of the wife.

As also Christ is the head of the church.

And he is the savior of the body.

Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, So let the

wives be to their own husband's in everything and then verse 33,

it says nevertheless, Let each one of you in particular.

So love his own wife, as himself and let the wife see that she

respects her husband, I want to notice what this word submission

means in the Greek submit is broken down into two words.

It's actually one word who Picasso, which is Greek and then

breaking that down, pupo means under and tasso means Authority.

So, it actually means to to a Arranged under.

It's actually a military word that was used.

You know, in the Army there's ranks and files you know, one a

private is subject to a sergeant and sergeant of subject to the

general they all look at everybody as being the same

importance, but they all have different roles.

They all have to be carried out, you know, if a general tells a

private to do something that private better do it.

A private, can't tell a general what to do, of course.

So this is the, this is the word that's being used here.

In this, in this verse, lots of people dive into this and pull

out. Out these verses completely out

of context. So we need to understand the

context of the verses that are be getting being given here.

The book of Ephesians Actually, the first three chapters explain

what God has done for us. It tells all the blessings that

we have in Christ and then in chapters 4 through 6, it tells

us because of those blessings, how we are how we are to live.

Because of God's blessings. So when we get down to into

chapter 4, we get into chapter 5 and verse 18.

It says at in there, says do not be drunk with wine in, which is

dispensation, but be filled with the spirit. and so we are, we

are to walk in a matter of Walk in a manner worthy of calling to

which you have been called and that is basically the kind of

the gist of what we're saying tonight.

So as he moves forward, as he moves, forward into verse 21 of

chapter 5, it says submitting to one another in fear of God.

This word submitting here, has basically the same thing, you

know, I've heard and I read a couple things to where people

take this verse and they look at as Mutual submission.

So we are to submit to one another.

You submit to me, I submit to you well that it's not talking

about Mutual submission here. In fact Mutual submission is

back. Basically an oxymoron.

You can't mutually submit to each other.

This is this is saying that where there is God ordained

structure and Authority in our world.

If we're talking, if we're walking in the spirit, we will.

Order ourselves underneath the leadership and direction of the

person whom God had put in authority over us.

So if we're in a job, we submit to our boss.

So it's kind of in those lines of what this verse is talking

about. But if we're person over

somebody in Authority, we have instructions.

Also, it says husband's love and nourish and cherish your wives.

You will give up. Would you give yourself up for

them? Wives are submitting to husband.

Our wives are submitting, but husband's, we are giving

ourselves up for our wives. He's saying that People in

authority of responsibility before God to live that out in a

Spirit Led way and the people who are under 30 have

responsibly live that out in a god-honoring way.

So that's what the Bible says. That's what God how God designed

it in the family structure of in the, in the husband is the one

who has Authority. And the wife is the one who was

under Authority. The moving on we want to notice

and look at some points of what submission is not.

The Bible does not teach that men are more valuable or have

more dignity have more skill or are more important than women.

The Bible does not teach that anywhere men and women and

husbands and wives are equally image bearers of God, equal

worth equal, dignity, and equal value.

This teaching on submission is about God, ordained structure

and marriage and not a pallet about superiority or value and a

man who thinks he's Superior or has the authority is not living

out of God, does not have a Godly mind is not living out of

God through life also, the Bible does not teach that women are to

submit to men. It teaches that wives are to

submit to their own husbands So that's telling you that's a very

clear. We need to understand that that

one woman does not have to take her submit to a to somebody that

she is not married to, it's only to her own husband.

And there's also a difference between submission and

obedience. It's pretty important.

The Bible teaches that children of course are to obey their

parents and do what the parents say.

But the Bible does not teach that wives to our obey their

husbands says to submit not to obey.

Or to order under submission, is the acknowledgement that there

are aspects of life on Earth that required guard,

god-ordained structure. It's a commitment that if you're

going to play a part in that structure with respect and

reverence for Authority, living a Spirit-filled way of life.

Now. if it violates God's word declined to submit, If it what

your husband is telling you or leaving you in the wrong

direction away from God declined to do what he is asking to do.

Now, this will not only applies in marriage but it applies in

many parts of our life. You know, if an employer is

asking us to do something that is Shady or tell lies or Forge

something with taxes, any of that manner, we're to decline to

do it. Because it's not in line with

what God teaches us to do. Even though that person is in

authority over us, we our first priority is to God.

Of course we see here, we got governments employers husbands

and wives. You know, we don't have to do

what they tell us to do. If it's in contrary to what God

is teaching. Us course we obey God And not,

man. Also submission, doesn't mean

that you don't have a voice. You know, some people have have

really messed up submission and and there have been wives who

have become timid and who just say whatever you want.

You're my husband, I'm going to submit to you, whatever you want

to do, whatever you think, and they become Meek and they come

become voiceless to express her own way of thinking.

This means that if we're husband and wife, we come to a place.

If we don't agree on decision that we're trying to face after

time, after we've discussed it. Between husbands and wives.

After we've gone to God in prayer and discuss it after we

have prayed about it and we're still at an impasse that's when

the wife. Has to say, even when you're

still disagreeing, the man has one way.

The wife has the other way, the wife has to then submit if it's

within Godly parameters. I know this is a little tough to

for me to give but, you know, we need to remember us as husbands.

You know, if we go back to Chapter 3 of Genesis, the fall

of Adam and Eve, you know, you know, Eve was the one who took a

bite of the apple, or the fruit first, give it to her husband.

This is Satan tempted. Her, Adam did absolutely nothing

to protect her from sinning nothing.

He was there the entire time, but he didn't do a single thing

to help her, but when God came looking for him who Go to

looking for first. He came looking for Adam.

So us as husbands have an absolute responsibility to

protect our wives from all manners of Sin from, you know,

getting In Harm's Way or or whatever.

It looks like us as husbands have the option of

responsibility to not be passive.

We have to work. So us as men we have to or

husbands, we have to understand the sobriety of that.

Thought the sobriety of that teaching, we are responsible,

God is going to come looking at us on that day.

What have we done to protect our wives?

If you notice to submission, does not happen when there is

agreement. You know, if we both agree on

something there's no submission done.

So God is actually giving us instructions on how to conduct

ourselves and how to operate when there is conflict between

each other. so we've got to ask ourselves some wives, some some

tough questions here, if we are regularly disagreeing with your

husband, So let's get, let's go through these questions that we

need to kind of self-reflection is basically what this is going

to be about. So wives you have to ask

yourself if you're continuously disagreeing with your husband,

are you living a Spirit-filled life?

That God has taught us also. Are we a person who is regularly

disagreeable? You know, if you're a spouse

that you don't regularly agree, are you, are you controlling

person? Are you fearful or you humble

and teachable? Do we think your way, if you

think your way is always, right? Or we humble before the Lord, of

course, you know, for men, being passive is, is a very easy

simple nature for men. It's easier to sit and do

nothing. Absolutely.

Easy, like we just talked about Adam in Genesis 3 did nothing,

but I think in the same manner for women for wives it is it is

easy for them to be fearful because of lack of control, you

know, there's so many things that go on in this world you

know, that so many things that that wives and mothers deal

with, you know, not having control over their children, not

not having control of, you know, stuff at work or fear of your

career, whatever, you know, we need to.

We need to understand that that is a very big trap that that

wipes can fall in. So, We need, we as husbands need

to make sure that we are making our wives feel safe.

So, the real question that sometimes women are wife wants

to know is, can I really trust my husband to keep me in my

children? Safe.

So, the next question here is, do you demonstrate respect for

your husband? Effusion is 5:33 It says their

wives to respect your husband in a marriage relationship for a

wife to be effectively submitting.

And for a husband, to be effectively leading, there needs

to be a sense that you got wet. We're both on the same team.

We need to understand who the enemy is, you know, when there's

conflict, you know, that is, that is Satan working hard to

get in between you. As long as as long as husbands

and wives. Figure out what the issue

actually is, I don't have an issue with Lizzie.

Lizzie doesn't have the issue with me.

The issue is the issue we're allies in that.

We're working hard to, to get through that issue.

Also, the next one are we seeking, are you seeking Godly

counsel in your disagreements? Proverbs 24, and 26 says, for by

wise counsel, you will wager own war in a multitude.

Counselors there is safety. You know, it is, it is

absolutely wise to go out and to seek Godly counsel for something

that may be going on in in your marriage or whatever may be

troubling. You but the thing we need to be

careful about and Frank touched on it.

This morning is We don't need to be getting counsel from our

friends who were going to agree with us.

You know, we need to be going. Even even to older women or men

that have experienced through conflict to help us to get

through that. That's going to give us the wise

counsel that we need to get through problems.

And also, I think one of the more, I'm sorry, we've got four

year, do you pray for your husband?

Us men us. Husbands need the absolute

prayers of Our Lives. That is somewhat on the most

important things that I think that needs to happen in order

for a relationship with a husband and wife to be

successful. You know, if a husband is

praying for her his wife, and if wife is praying for her husband,

they're both going to meet in the middle.

They're both praying towards God and working to do what God Wills

us. And then lastly, of course, the

question is, do you Trust God, can we read?

What is in the Bible? And Trust what he's telling us

is true. You know.

If it is decision that's going to be wrong.

God's coming for the husband, God's going to hold us.

Accountable you know if we as husbands make a wrong decision

we're going to be held accountable for that.

So we need to make sure that we're going to him in prayer and

asking for guidance. So back to our question was

Queen. Vashti correct.

For not submitted. Now we don't have all and enough

information to definitively make a judgment on that because it

just doesn't tell us but we can make make based on what we do

know. I think this case in this case,

she was absolutely Justified for not falling.

What King Xerxes tell them to do, you know bringing he was

drunk. He wanted to bring her before

him and all the other people that were around him and

basically show her off. And that of course is not.

I don't think, you know, we can read anywhere in the Bible where

it says that that's going to be okay to do so husband's, we are

not off the hook. So how do we help our wives?

Damn it. So basically wives typically

have a difficult time in submitting and show them respect

is because husbands are not leading or showing love to our

wives that God has commanded us. So what are some ways where we

can help our wives to submit? We can prove to them that we are

following God's Will by the things that we do.

The actions that we show the times that we go into prayer,

you know, everything that we do. We are proving and building a

trust up. Hopefully our trust in our life

is being built up to where they trust us with their with their

spiritual life. You know we need to make those

sound decisions. You know, I think wives want and

desire a man who shows and is living a Godly life, being the

spiritual leader. So we need to make sure their

wives know that that is the most important thing to us is that we

are following God's will also with teaches us that we are to

love cherish and to nourish our Waters Love here in these verses

is not a romantic feeling you know love is a duty.

It's what were called to do. It's it's to love them when it's

hard. You know we made the decision to

marry him and we're going to get through it no matter what.

So you know are we willing to sacrifice our needs or wants in

our desires for our wives? Are we willing to lay down her

life for her just as Christ to the church?

You know, those are some tough questions that we need to ask

ourselves. He gave Jesus gave himself for

the church. Also, nourish nurse here means

to help to grow and to feed. You know, it is our

responsibility as husbands to help our wives grow spiritually,

most importantly, intellectually.

This is our duty, it's our job to help.

Bring them along, you know, nourish means, you know, it, it

means like tending to a garden, you know, you weed out the

weeds, you you fertilize it, you water it, you helped it grow.

That's our Hut. That's our job as a husband,

also in verses 28 and 29 cents. So husband's ought to love their

own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves

himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and

cherishes it, just ask the Lord does the church.

And then cherish here means to predict protect and value her

and and be that she's a steamed in our eyes.

So can we ask ourselves husband is it easy for our wives to

submit to her husband were filled fulfilling these roles,

absolutely. Also, we need to seek our wives

wisdom, you know, we married our wives for a reason because we

love them and we respect them and we and we value what they

have to say. And we value how they helped us

become the men that we are. And the husband's that we are,

you know, marriage is a partnership that is God

ordained. Two minds are always better than

one. So, we need to make sure that we

see her wisdom. And also I think this one's

pretty good. As we never mentioned

submission, you know, nobody likes the boss, who says, I'm

your boss, nobody likes to hear that you're going to do what I

tell you you because I'm your boss.

Well, kind of the same thing with husbands and wives.

It's not our job as husbands to judge whether our wives are

being submissive or not. That's, that's God's Point.

That's, that's God's position. So, there's so many things in

here, that that helped have helped me be a better husband.

And, you know, I had not fulfilled my role as a husband,

or a spiritual leader for a long time, but once I kind of figured

out and got my act together, it unlocked, an area of art, Lizzie

and eyes marriage that I had no idea existed and it's pretty

amazing. You know how it works.

The support, she gives me and encouragement, she gives me a so

undeserving, but she's so willing to fulfill her role that

God designed for her, because I'm willing to fulfill my role

that God designed for me. So husband's, it starts with us,

it starts with a man's role. If we want our wives and our

family to grow in Christ, it starts with us.

So, wives be prepared, when you submit to your husband, at God

as God intends us, be ready for your husband.

To be the Christian that God always intended him to be.

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