Accountamunity (accountability + community) with Ben Carruthers

Well, good morning.

My name is Ben Crothers, I'm the director of student and family ministry here and it's gonna be with you this morning.

For those of you worshiping and joining us online, thanks for checking us out.

We are in week three of our sermon series called Follow Me Discipleship in a Disenchanted World, and if you're just catching up with us, I encourage you to go back over the past two weeks.

Two weeks ago, pastor Ryan kicked it off by talking about what is discipleship, what does it mean and what does it look like to follow Jesus, and over the next few weeks we're diving into those elements.

What does it mean to be a disciple?

Last week he talked about prayer and this week we're talking about accountability.

Now, before you get up and leave the room, just hold on a second and see where we go, because we don't like talking about accountability.

Accountability is something that kind of scares us or angers us.

What does that look like?

What does that look like in the church?

And it doesn't look so great out in the world, and so we get a little kind of I don't know tight about this word accountability, but this morning I've created a new word and it's called accountability Accountability.

Now I know it sounds like something you have to go to the doctor for and get a shot for, right, but what is it?

It's accountability mixed with community, and that's what we're diving into today.

It's this idea of accountability within our community of believers, because in the scripture passage, that's what we see.

We see these two people, peter and Paul, who have a relationship, who understand the gospel, coming together for this thing called accountability.

So it's accountability in community, because the reality is, when we talk about discipleship and what it means to be a disciple, it's hard, it's difficult.

It was hard back in the day of Jesus.

It was incredibly hard for the disciples, after he was resurrected and left, to start this new movement, this new church movement.

It was difficult and it's difficult being a disciple in 2023.

And when things get hard in our lives and when things get tough, one of the responses, unfortunately, is to quit and to give up.

When I was like six or seven years old, for Christmas one year, my parents gave me a pair of ice skates and I was so excited right, because I'm like, I can play ice hockey.

Now I can figure this out.

I strap on the skates and within two minutes, I'm just flopping and flying everywhere, right?

My poor parents put up with me for an hour and I just couldn't get it.

And after that hour I said I'm done, I quit.

No joke, since then I have never put on a pair of ice skates in my life.

I completely quit.

That was it In middle school.

I really wanted to be in the choir, right?

I'm like man, I want to be able to sing and do all this.

It looks awesome.

So I joined choir and within the first hour of that I was like this is not the plot spot for me, right?

Like this is not happening and I quit.

And I've never.

I don't sing.

I sing in my heart because I care about the people around me hearing me, but I don't do it, I quit, I gave up.

And probably the weirdest situation I mean weird was that when I was in middle school, my parents signed me up for this community education thing, like after school, and it wasn't for something cool like I don't know, building an engine or building something.

They signed me up on how to be a mime.

That was a class.

I was like I know, offense if you're a mime, but how sad was my life that they signed me up for a class on how to be a mime, right, and within I'm like, all right, I'm gonna knock this thing out of the park.

But I showed up and I talked way too much to be a mime.

I'm like I'm in a box.

I'm in a box right and I quit.

I'm like I'm never gonna mime again, right, I'm 42 years old and I can't ice skate.

I'm a horrible mime and I can't sing right.

What my wife sees in me, I have no idea.

But the point is this is that and those are funny examples, but the reality of it is true Is when things get really hard and when things get really tough, the easy way out, the non-complicated way out, is to quit, is to give up.

And the same can be true when we talk about being a disciple, a follower of Jesus, because being a follower of Christ is not easy.

Nowhere in Scripture does Jesus say hey, man, this is gonna be really simple, it's gonna be an easy walk.

We look at the lives of Jesus, we look at the lives of the disciples and we see that it's tough.

And that's why this piece of accountability is so important, because the kind of accountability that we're talking about this morning is this understanding that we're on this discipleship journey together.

We're on this thing together, we're trying to figure it out.

We're trying to figure out what it means to be a disciple, what it looks like to follow Jesus, and we understand that we make mistakes, that we screw up, and we need that accountability Because, as a Christian community, our goal is the gospel of Christ and it's worth fighting for, it's worth going through this hard road of discipleship.

It's worth it and we need each other in that community to walk alongside us and from time to time remind us of that goal, that this is about the gospel of Jesus, and help us get back on track.

This kind of accountability, it's not about guilt and it's not about shame what the world kind of views it.

As we get rid of the guilt, we get rid of the shame.

It's not about pulling the finger and saying my favorite phrase I told you so.

That's not what this accountability is all about.

It's about walking with each other in this community and when others start to stray, we bring them back together, because the reality is is we're gonna stray and we hope that someone in the community will bring us back.

So accountability in community and that's what we're looking at this morning and this passage from Galatians, I think, is a pretty powerful passage about what that can possibly look like.

But before we get into it, I think we need to pray, because discipleship is hard, accountability is hard and we just wanna open this thing up to God.

So will you pray with me this morning?

How many followers ago would give you thanks and praise for this morning, the opportunity to worship, the opportunity to gather for baptism, for families, for community, and so, as we talk about this tough topic this morning of accountability, lord, I pray that you open up the hearts and minds of every single person in this room and every single person watching via live stream, lord, that you work in our hearts, that you soften our hearts, that maybe there's a name that comes to our mind that we need to look at this accountability thing with, or maybe it's ourselves, lord, god, so soften our hearts and keep our ears and our eyes open this morning.

It's in your name that we pray amen.

So, as Galatians 2 passage is pretty powerful, where we see Peter kinda missing the mark a little bit when it comes to who is allowed at this table right, who is the gospel for and we see here that he knows the gospel is for all people.

But the world, and these people in the world, has kinda got it into his head that maybe you're wrong, peter, maybe it's not for everybody, maybe this message of the gospel of salvation, of love and forgiveness and grace, maybe it is just for the Jews and Peter starts to change.

Now, before we dive into Galatians 2 in the context there, we have to go back.

We have to go back to Acts chapter 10, because something incredibly transformational happened to Peter in Acts chapter 10, which makes Galatians 2 even that much more impactful.

Acts 10 · chapter mention Acts 10 · chapter mention

So in Acts chapter 10, peter is given this vision, but before that even, there's this guy and we meet, named Cornelius.

Acts 10 · chapter mention

Cornelius is this Roman officer, pretty high up in the Roman army.

He's a God-fearing man, he's a good man and he's given this vision from God that he needs to send a couple of servants out to this town to meet this guy, peter, and bring Peter back.

And so Cornelius does this.

Now, while Cornelius is having this vision or dream from God, peter is also having a vision and dream from God Because, remember, at this point in the church, the Christian church, is brand spanking new.

Right, we're trying to figure things out.

No one quite knows what it looks like.

And before that it was this community of the Jewish people, right.

And now there's this change starting to happen.

This is brand spanking new.

And so Peter has this vision.

And it looks a little like this.

Peter has this vision of this giant white sheet opening up in the sky and all of these animals on top of it.

And all of these animals are viewed as unclean in the Jewish faith and the Jewish religion.

They would have nothing to do with these animals.

And so he hears God's voice and God says Peter, eat of these animals.

And Peter's like, absolutely not, I'm a Jew, I'm a devout Jew.

I love you with my whole heart.

Man, I want nothing to do with that.

And God says this.

God says Peter, I'm changing all that.

That's the Ben international version.

You probably won't find that in your scripture, right, but he's saying I'm changing all that.

He's like no man.

This gospel message, this Jesus guy, this salvation, this forgiveness, this is for all people, jew Gentile, it's going to the whole world.

This message is for all people.

This is transformational.

For Peter, who's been living by these rules of what it means to be in this Jewish faith, this Jewish family, this Jewish community, god has blown the doors off that and saying, no, it's for all people.

And this is in Acts, chapter 10.

Acts 10 · chapter mention

So then, all of a sudden, these guys show up at Peter's place and they're like, hey, we got to come meet this guy, cornelius.

He had this vision.

Peter's like, all right, let's go.

And he meets Cornelius.

And it's at this meeting he realized this man, this gospel message, is for all people and the Christian church takes off and the world is forever changed, and Peter's a piece of that.

Now, that's incredibly important to know because then, when you move ahead to Galatians, chapter two, which people believe is about 15 to 20 years after Acts chapter 10, something incredibly strange is happening here.

Acts 10 · chapter mention

If you think about it, peter was at the beginning of this whole transformational the gospel is for everyone movement.

And here we are.

Peter is at the table sharing a meal with Jews and Gentiles alike.

Just what God said, right?

Just what's the gospels for all people.

All are welcome to the table.

And then these Jews come in and they're like Peter, what are you doing?

What are you doing, man?

This is, you can't be eating with these people.

They're unclean.

You know the same message that he got in Acts, chapter 10, right the same thing that Peter said I can't eat of these animals, they're unclean.

Acts 10 · chapter mention

Now here are some believers also saying Peter, you can't be doing that.

And instead of standing strong and saying no man, I received this crazy vision about 15 years ago.

This is what we're supposed to be doing.

He starts to pull away, peter pulls away from the truth of the gospel and then we have this interaction between Peter and Paul that comes down to accountability.

And Paul does this in a loving way, in a relationship way, because it's all about accountability, accountability in community.

You see, paul confronts Peter.

Paul has this accountability session with him because he knows what's at stake.

Peter is telling people the wrong gospel.

Peter is saying you know what?

No, the gospel of Jesus Christ is for only these people.

Paul's not gonna have that, he's not gonna stand for that, because that's not the gospel story, because what's at the heart of it is so important and so worth fighting for and so worth having these awkward accountability sessions with one another in community.

And as we dive into Galatians, chapter two, the way that Paul does it, I think we can gleam a couple things that can maybe make this accountability thing a little bit more easier.

But before we do that, you need to know this is not like a three step process on how to be awesome, people and accountability.

Okay, that's not what this is, because at the heart of it, it's all about relationship and accountability.

My relationship with my wife is different than with my kids and with my friends, but we have that relationship, so the way that we hold each other accountable is different.

But there are a few things that Paul does here that I think we can gleam some help from, and the first comes from this Galatians, chapter two, verse 11,.

It says this when Cephas or Peter came to Antioch, I Paul opposed him by running to Facebook and posting something really nasty about Peter because he stood self-condemned.

Wait, hold on, let me read that.

But when Peter came to Antioch, I Paul opposed him by running to tell all the other disciples about what Peter had done.

Now, that's not what it says.

But when Peter came to Antioch, I Paul opposed him to his face because he stood self-condemned.

I opposed him to his face.

How many times do we run to somebody else and say, man, did you see what they're doing?

Did you hear what she said?

And how many times do we run to the cover of our screens and post whatever we want because we're super brave, right In prayer this week we're talking about this and I don't have social media.

I'm not on it a lot.

I have Facebook, or the Facebook as I call it at home, and my kids laugh at me, but I have Facebook.

I only have Facebook because when I got engaged to my wife years ago, she wanted me to start one.

So it would say engage to Anna.

So that's what everything has.

And marketplace, marketplace is fantastic.

I love it, right, but I'm not on Instagram.

I'm on TikTok, but I am on Facebook and I'm part of the Elk River Bulletin Board and the Zip.

See, you hear the groans already.

I don't have to go on, right, we know you look at the Elk River Community Bulletin Board and the Zimmerman Community Board and it could be something incredibly sweet like oh man, this is a picture of my lost dog, could you help me find it?

And the first post is I hate puppies.

Right, that's an ugly dog.

Good luck.

I'm like whoa, this is horrible.

It's like a cesspool.

99% of the stuff that's on that board is complete garbage.

We go there and we just spout all of this nonsense when that's not.

The unfortunate part is is we view that as accountability.

We view that as we reread something, we read a story about something and then we make a post about it like that's gonna help.

It just helps you get all of that stuff and your own thoughts and your own personal opinions out.

That's not what Paul does here.

Years ago I have a good friend and he's one of the friends.

We've been friends for a long time and I view him as a very wise guy and one of our brother's man in this group of friends that we've been together for a long time, since middle school, was just doing some things.

I'm like man, I just don't think that's right.

I just I don't see that as him.

I just see him make him some mistakes.

And so I went to my buddy and I said, man, this is what's going on and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he listened to me just vomit all of this stuff for like 10 minutes.

And I'm waiting, right, cause he's a wise guy, he really is, and I'm like waiting for the nugget of wisdom.

And so I'm done and he turns to me and looks and the only thing that he says he says well, what did he say when you talk to him about it.

I was like I didn't do that.

I came to you and the reason I went to you is because I wanted to vomit up all this stuff and I wanted you to agree with me.

I really didn't want to hold him accountable Because at the heart of it, I wanted to feel that what I thought was right, more than helping my brother.

Because this is easy, that doesn't take courage.

This is incredibly difficult.

Paul knew the importance of the gospel and what was at stake here.

Think about this this is a new movement, this new Christian church is just happening.

Here are people coming to the table saying man, can I really be accepted for who I am?

Can I be really accepted at this table?

And here's Peter, this leader in the church, who is starting to say no, you have to do A, b and C and then you can join us.

Paul goes directly to Peter and says man, this isn't right.

We need to go face to face with these people.

We need to have conversations, and the idea is that in community, we should understand that we come out of love.

We come out of the same heart, the same spirit, the same goal, and that is the gospel of Jesus Christ, we need to go directly to the person.

That's what Paul does here with Peter.

The second thing that we see is comes from Galatians 2.14.

Galatians 2.14 says this, but when I saw that you were not acting consistently with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter, before them all if you, though, would Jew live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you compel the Gentiles to live like Jews?

So in this, he does something really subtle but, I think, really important when it comes to accountability.

What he doesn't do is he doesn't show up and say Peter, what are you doing?

Shame on you.

Shame on you, peter.

What you're doing is wrong, and let me tell you why.

What he does is he asks a question.

He asks a question, and in doing that, a couple things happen when asking questions.

First is this is we understand that we are allowing that person to tell us their story, because when we're viewing something, we're viewing something through our one-way lens, the way that we view it.

Man, there might be a backstory that you need to know and that might help you understand a little bit of what's going on.

So it helps them share their story.

And the second thing is it holds them accountable for what they're doing.

You allow them to hold themselves accountable.

That's the power of asking questions.

Now, I am excellent at asking questions.

It's one of my gifts.

Just ask my children what the heck are you doing?

Why did you do that?

What the heck's going on?

I'm really good at it and this actually hit me after the first service, because this is a joke, right Like I yell at my kids.

That's not funny, but it's like what are you doing?

But here's the reality.

That is what I do, and I, as their dad, really, whatever the behavior is, I want to see it change or be different.

But I go in with this type of question, this finger pointing question, when, even though it's a question, the goal is not the same.

My goal is not for them to really think about their actions and what could we do differently.

It's like you have done wrong and you need to change it.

And even when we go into this asking questions with accountability this is the view I think that we go into, instead of with the true heart of men.

Help me understand what's going on.

Help me understand, maybe, what led to this decision, help me understand what led you to saying this, or with this idea of man.

Maybe by asking this question, they might start saying stuff and hold themselves accountable.

That's what we see Paul doing here with Peter.

Now, like I said, it's not like a do one, two, three step process.

These things are things that you in the moment, with the relationship you have with the side, but asking questions is powerful.

Sean Covey, this guy who wrote a book called Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, believe it or not, the book is about seven habits of highly effective people, and I read this as a teen version.

When I was in high school, my youth pastor gave me a copy and I read it.

I read it only because there was really cool illustrations and it looked like a comic book, because when I was in high school I wasn't begin reading.

But it changed my life and that was many, many years ago.

And to this day, one of those simple rules has stuck with me and I have tried to live it out, and it's this it's seek first to understand, then be understood.

Seek first to understand, then be understood.

Don't go in guns, blazing fingers out and being like bam bam, bam bam.

This, this, this, this.

Go in like this, curious, wondering, Knowing that you guys have the same goal, this gospel of Christ.

All right, tell me about what's going on.

He's kind of like a guru when it comes to this, this empathetic communication, he calls it and he says this if I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this to seek first to understand, then be understood.

Asking questions.

Jesus asked over 307 questions in the gospels.

I know cause.

I counted every single one, just kidding.

I Googled it, but 307.

307, out of those 307, less than half are questions that he actually answered, which means that Jesus used questions to hold people accountable.

Jesus used questions to ask people where they're at.

Jesus used questions to help people hold themselves accountable.

Questions like this from Matthew 16, 15.

Who do you say that I am?

Questions like this from Luke 6, 46.

Why do you call me Lord, lord and do not do what I say?

Or John 21, 17.

Do you love me?

There's a lot of power and meaning in asking questions and seeking to understand before wanting to be understood.

Jesus asked questions.

Paul asked Peter questions.

We should ask questions Now, at the heart of asking questions, and really why it's so powerful and really why this whole Christian accountability and community is so powerful?

Because at the heart of it, at the heart of asking questions, at the heart of accountability, is this word humility, humility.

We have to enter into accountability with great humility because, as disciples, we want to model Jesus, we want to follow Jesus, and we have to start here.

Philippians 2, 5 through 8 says this Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taken the form of a slave, being born in human likeness and being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, and even death on the cross.

If we wanna be disciples of Jesus, if we wanna follow him, it starts with the posture of humility.

It starts with the posture of open arms, walking into these situations, these conversations, and asking questions and going to them face to face.

It starts with humility.

So, to close this thing up, I really wanted to think of a powerful story I could share with you, about a time in my life, man, when a dear friend of mine, someone in my community, came and held me accountable and I listened and it transformed my life.

And so, when I was writing this thing, I just kind of closed my eyes and I prayed and I kind of waited and waited, and waited and what I found was this there were a couple of times in my life that came to mind, but my mind was flooded with the times that people in my community came to me and I didn't listen.

You see, this humility thing goes both ways.

We need to be humble enough to hold each other accountable, but we also need to be humble enough to hear when people try to hold us accountable, and that's even harder.

But this is what Peter did.

This is what Peter did in this moment, when Paul saw something that could really damage the gospel and the future of the church and he called Peter out on it.

He went to his face and he asked questions, and Peter was humble enough to listen to his friend, and the church went on.

We wanna be disciples of Jesus, we wanna follow him, and it starts with humility.

So, people of central Lutheran church, may we be people who go to each other, our brothers and sisters in community, in this posture of humility, and hold each other accountable, and even more so when our brothers and sisters come to us.

May we be humble enough to listen.

Amen.