#20 - Love, Sex, and Commitment in the Bible {Reflections}

What is up everybody Ryan here and I am actually in Mike's Beats Laboratory without Mike.

I'm in here by myself.

I have commandeered his station.

He's out of town this week, so I'm using his gear and his desk and I'm just taking over and I'm going to do the podcast solo today, which is maybe good, because we're going to talk about sex one more time.

We just did a sermon series, or we just began our sermon series on the song of songs last Sunday, and if you were there, you know that this is a book in the middle of the Bible, middle of the Hebrew Bible.

It's wedged right in between the book of Ecclesiastes and the prophet Isaiah, and there it is, this book.

And actually, if you've read it before, you know this is a book of love poetry, and not just any love poetry.

It's actually erotic love poetry.

In fact, the story goes that young Jewish boys were not allowed to read it until they reached a certain age because it was too explicit and too erotic, and so the question I proposed on Sunday, and also even now, is like why is this book in there?

What is this book of erotic love poetry doing in the Bible?

And I think it is important, though, to note the difference between ancient or, or you know, yeah, ancient writings like this, like this.

You know from antiquity this writing of love poetry, or even beautiful erotic love poetry, the difference between that and maybe a modern sort of pornographic idea and understanding these things could not be further apart, and so when you read it it's good to distinguish.

Hey, this is not the same thing as sort of modern pornographic writing at all.

It's actually quite different If you understand ancient love poetry and sort of the, the, the ubiquity of it.

But either way, there you have it.

That's what we were talking about on Sunday, and so go back and listen to it online, or you can come this Sunday as we unpack it some more.

But the song of songs is basically a picture of the relationship between a man and a woman and it talks about their, their sort of, their longing for each other and then the absence and presence of the other one and how they long for them to be around.

And it talks about three different kinds of love, in the Hebrew language anyway, and the three I talked about on Sunday, or Raya, ahava and Doad, and, if you remember, raya is a brotherly or sisterly, a friendly kind of love, like a committed friendship, you know, you might say a soulmate or a kindred spirit.

That's Raya.

Ahava is something deeper.

It's a an emotion that leads to a commitment.

Like you know, your mind and your will and your emotions are all bent towards other persons.

It's deeply romantic love that leads to a commitment, in many cases maybe even a marriage.

And then there's Doad.

Doad is literally translated into the English as to carousel, or to rock, or to fondle, and so this is like a physical, sexual, erotic element of love.

And so all three of these together combine in this relationship between the man and the woman and the song of songs, and all three of them come together.

It raises the question that I get asked all the time how far is appropriate for people to go when they're dating.

Or rather, you could ask it this way is sex or this kind of sexual intimacy, is this okay outside of or before marriage?

What does the Bible have to say about it?

Well, I'll just kind of tell you too there's not.

There's not a commandment in the Bible that says thou shalt not have sex before marriage or outside of marriage or these kinds of things.

It's not in there.

I mean, one of the commandments is you shall not come in adultery.

But adultery is not necessarily sex outside of marriage, as much as it's sex with somebody else's spouse.

So you shouldn't do that definitely.

Some people will point to Leviticus, chapter 18.

Leviticus 18 · chapter mention

It's sort of all the sexual prohibitions in the Levitical law, but even in that chapter and all of Leviticus 18, it does not say anything about having sex outside of marriage.

But before you say, hey, ryan, it's totally fine to do this, I would argue this the Bible has an incredibly complex but also, I think, simple understanding of what sex is and what isn't, and therefore we can kind of determine, I think, when is the appropriate time for these kinds of physical interactions.

And here's what I would say in Genesis 2 and also Jesus later quotes this idea.

It says that the two become flesh and they become one flesh.

So there's this idea kind of alluded to in the song of songs, that when a man and woman come together, in this, in the story of song of songs, there is this coming together of the whole persons.

So this idea of the two becoming one flesh is this picture of the entire beings coming together.

Of course we're physical bodies, but we're not just physical bodies or just physical beings.

We're physical, we also have a spirit and a soul.

You might use these words.

Often there's emotions and will, but when we come together in this physically intimate way, it's not just physical bodies, it's our emotions, our hearts, our minds, our stories, our experiences.

It's this mingling of souls, and so it's a picture of this book and also this thing that Jesus says, and in Genesis 2 it's a picture of a deeper spiritual reality.

So I would argue that Jesus and Genesis 2 really teaches that sex is a deeply spiritual act.

It's never just physical, because it's the mingling of the entire self and you're not just a physical body.

And so when you come together in this way, in this physically intimate way, with somebody else, it's actually a mingling of your spirits and your souls and your emotions in your hearts.

And this kind of coming together is meant to endure forever, because the two become one flesh, the Bible says.

And so we're created to kind of all of ourselves Come together, and there's all kinds of ways that we goof this up, and I mentioned them on Sunday.

But it seems like God has designed sex for the context of a beautifully committed Relationship, and so you know, sex is the means by which people come together and become one flesh.

And so, as one scholar says, he says it this way what people say with their bodies and the giving and receiving of the most intimate form of pleasure, people should also say with the rest of their lives.

In other words, like the level of commitment that they have Physically, or the level of, like, physical intimacy, should match their commitment with the rest of their lives.

And so, again he says it this way what people say with their bodies in the giving and receiving of the most intimate form of pleasure, people should also say with the whole of their lives.

So this mutual commitment of love, and so the core value here is really the coherence of our lives versus this Fragmentation.

So if sex is really the highest level of physical intimacy which I think we all would agree that it is not to get too Graphic, but you know, it's this, it's this exposure of your entire self to another person, that's the highest level of intimacy you can have Well then I think that the context around it should be the highest level of commitment, and in our context, in our culture, that's marriage.

And so this is how I kind of approach it with with close friends of mine, or with my own kids.

In fact, I say, look, I would love for your, your level of physical intimacy to never go beyond your level of actual commitment.

And so marriage is the highest level of commitment in our culture, and so I would say that that Sex should be reserved for that level of commitment, because it's the highest level of physical intimacy.

So today, may you know that when we engage in these kinds of physically intimate acts, it's never just physical, and I think the lie of our culture is that it's totally fine, it's not a big deal and there won't be any kind of collateral damage, because it's just a physical Engagement, what's not.

We're not just physical beings.

We have emotions and hearts and minds and wills and experiences, and so I think what people say with their bodies in this giving and receiving of pleasure Should also be say what their entire lives, their whole level of themselves is coming together, and so it should match their whole level of commitment together as a couple.

So I hope that helps.

But may you know that sex is a an incredible gift from God, but it's to be enjoyed within the confines, in the context of a deeply committed relationship between two people, and that, I think, is what the Bible says about sex All right, peace.

Hey, if you enjoy this show, I'd love to have you share with some friends.

And don't forget you are always welcome to join us in person at central in Elk River at 8 30, which is our local gathering, or at 10 o'clock, our modern gathering, or you can check us out online at clclriverorg.

Peace.