Forgive and Forget: A Misunderstanding of Biblical Forgiveness

Hello and welcome to the Middletown Baptist Church podcast

where we are proclaiming the truth to the world.

My name is Pastor Josh and I want to thank you for listening to

this podcast.

I hope that this podcast can be a blessing to you and strengthen

you in the word of God.

Now come along, let's look into the Bible and see what God has

for us here today.

All right, we.

Well, we're gonna start a new series here tonight.

And if you were here last week, you might know where we're

going with this.

I opened up last week an opportunity for you to be a part

of the sermon prepping process of our Wednesday night services.

Coming up here forever.

How long it takes and had some folks ask some questions.

And you know, I didn't know what I was getting into.

I got a lot of questions and that's good.

It's some tough ones and there are some that I really, I think will

be a great study and all of them will be a great study.

I don't know how long it'll take to just address the ones that

came in last week, but we'll go as long as we can with this.

I think that it's important to answer questions and we shouldn't

shy away from the tough ones.

And some maybe are easier to answer than others.

And there might be some questions that have been posed that

we might not necessarily even have an answer for.

An answer for.

There can be asked about things of God that, you know, we,

we truly can't answer because the things of God are higher than,

than our thoughts.

The ways of God are different than our ways.

So I went through all of them so far and I came up with one that

I think might take us at least this week, maybe next week to deal

with.

And it was a two part question.

And I think we'll deal with maybe the first part tonight.

We, we might get a little bit into the second part.

But the first part was what is true forgiveness?

Question was posed what was true forgiveness?

And second part of that question would be are we supposed

to forgive and forget?

And maybe you've heard that phrase before, forgive and forget.

God forgets, so we should forget.

That's a passage of scripture that is, is talked about a lot of

times within churches.

You might even hear from the pulpit, forgive and forget, move

on with your life.

And we're going to talk about that because to some degree that

is true and other degrees that that isn't necessarily biblical.

And we're going to talk about that here this evening.

If, if the Lord wills it for for time's sake.

So the Bible doesn't give one basic succinct definition of forgiveness,

but it does give us a lot of examples of forgiveness.

And, and we know that as we read God's word, that there are a

bunch of examples of forgiveness.

And the greatest example of forgiveness, I hope we know that

that is the forgiveness of God.

And that's what we'll study.

We'll look at God's forgiveness, how he extends forgiveness,

and what that looks like for us.

Because anytime we're looking at any character trait, any action,

any positive thing, we look to the greatest example in our Lord.

We don't say, well, this is what I was told, or this is how I

feel, or, uh, this is what the world tells us to believe.

We go back to what God says in His Word about a specific topic.

So we need to go to the Bible to look at what forgiveness is all

about.

And so the.

The passages of scripture that we're gonna look at are gonna deal

with forgiveness or things revolving around the topic of forgiveness.

And the first passage of scripture I'd like us to go to is

Psalm 103.

If you have your Bibles tonight, turn with me to Psalm 103.

We're gonna look at it, a handful of passages tonight.

This will be our launching place.

And, and in this passage of scripture, it doesn't explicitly

say God's forgiveness, but we do see the aspects of God's forgiveness

through this passage of Scripture.

And I think this is a good starting place when it comes to the

idea of God's forgiveness and how that transfers over to us, how

that translates to.

To our forgiveness, to those around us that have sinned against

us.

And so we're in Psalm 103, and we're gonna look at verses 8 through

12.

And it says here, the Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger

and plenteous in mercy.

So, so we stop there and, and we see very clearly that there's

mercy, grace, patience, and then a reiteration of God being plenteous

in mercy.

Verse 9.

He will not always chide, neither will he keep his anger forever.

Verse 10.

We'll go all the way down to verse 12.

He hath not dealt with us after our sins, nor rewarded us according

to our iniquities.

For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his

mercy toward them that fear him.

And, and here is a passage of Scripture that use.

Get you.

Gets used quite frequently when we deal with the area of forgiveness.

And it says in verse 12 as far as the east is from the west, so

far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

We can use that word transgressions and, and substitute

in sin.

So as far as the east is from the west, so God has removed our

sin from us.

Now, how far is the east from the west?

Well, I don't know.

We, it's, can't, can't put a, it's infinite, right?

We can't put a number on it.

And so we know that God's forgiveness is infinite.

There's not a place where God runs out of forgiveness.

There's not a place where God says, you know what?

I've forgiven you a thousand times.

I'm not gonna forgive you the, the, the next time.

So we know God's grace is, is abundant.

It's not just abundant, it's, it's infinite.

And so it deals specifically there with God's forgiveness of sin.

And so I think it's important to deal with a believer's role in

forgiveness in, in understanding that it's always operating

in the realm of a sin against you.

And, and what do I mean by that?

I think sometimes we think about forgiveness being something

that we need to forgive somebody if they just make us upset

or they're doing something that we don't agree with.

I, I, I think that when it comes to the area of forgiveness,

biblically speaking, it's always talking about someone has

sinned against you.

And, and the reason why I bring that up is because, you know,

so I can put an expectation upon somebody.

They don't meet that expectation.

It's an unfair expectation.

They don't sin against me.

They just don't keep what I expect them to do.

And then I expect them to come back and, you know, ask for forgiveness.

When we're dealing with biblical forgiveness, we're dealing

with an issue of sin.

And, and so if, if someone just rubs you the wrong way, I don't

think that's an element to cause them to come to you in repentance

and you to forgive them.

That's just like, get over it.

Right?

It, it's a, it's, Jesus talks about, you know, having patience

and mercy.

And, and so when we're talking about forgiveness specifically in

the area of restoration with individuals, we're talking about

an issue of sin.

Okay.

And so one of the things that I would say is that if you are wrestling,

if I'm wrestling with an area of forgiveness, I need to make sure

that, number one, that person has sinned against me.

Number two, Can I clearly define what that person has done

in sin against me?

And then I need to deal with how their response is to my confrontation.

Matthew chapter 18, which we're going to get to here this,

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

this evening.

So it's important to note that forgiveness operates in that realm

of sin.

And, and in the majority of passages of scripture that we look

at, when it comes to forgiveness, sin is mentioned.

And so we, we talk about the Old Testament.

I mean, you could look through passage after passage.

When it's talking about God's forgiveness, it's about the forgiveness

of sin.

Even when we look at the New Testament, it's the same thing.

When we look at the New Testament situation where God calls

an individual to forgive another individual, it's always dealing

with the area of, of sin.

So for, for a person to find true biblical forgiveness, I believe,

biblically speaking, that he or she must come to a place of repentance.

And, and so, so what we would call this is someone confessing their

sin.

And so if a person tries to pass off sin as well.

I made a little bit of a mistake here.

I, I slipped up.

But, you know, can you just overlook it?

That's, that's not forgiveness.

It, it's, it's the idea that I have sinned against God.

If you look back in the sin of David with Bathsheba, if you remember

what he said, he said, I've sinned against you, Lord.

He, he, he admits that there was, there was an infraction against

God's law.

And so for, for me as an individual to extend forgiveness

to somebody else and for that person to, to come seeking forgiveness,

there must be what we would call repentance that leads to a confession,

a confession before God that they are, they are repentant of their

sin.

They're turning away from sin.

Now, a passage of scripture that we can go to, to recognize that

would be First John, First John, chapter one.

I think that there's obviously a lot of passages that we could look

at to the area of repentance.

But I believe that true biblical forgiveness is always linked

to repentance.

So, for example, when God forgives us, it's always when we

come to him in repentance and trust in him in faith for forgiveness.

God does not overlook sin.

He doesn't wink or turn a blind eye to someone sinning.

Right?

God always has to address sin as it is sin.

It's against him, it's, it's in opposition to him.

And so just as God requires someone to come in repentance, I

believe all of us as, as individuals who can extend forgiveness

can do the same thing.

And so in First John, chapter 1, verse 8 says this.

1 John 1:8

If we say that we have no sin, so this would be someone who's not

repentant.

They're like, I don't sin.

I didn't make a mistake, I didn't do anything wrong.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth

is not in us.

If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us our

sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his

word is not in us.

There's other passages of scripture that speaks this idea that

if we are living in that unrepentant spirit, we're not going

to find forgiveness, we're not going to find restoration.

And so we know that the greatest example of forgiveness is

God forgiving sin.

Um, but we already mentioned God doesn't just look the other way

when he forgives us of our sin.

I think a lot of times people think that that's how God works.

Like God loves me so much that he just overlooks my sin.

That's not the case.

Romans, chapter 6, verse 23 says, for the wages of sin is death,

Romans 6:23

but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

So, so there always is a penalty for sin.

Always.

And, and, and we know that Jesus paid the price for us.

And, and that's why it's tied to the Gospel.

Forgiveness is tied to the gospel.

Hebrews chapter 9, verse 22.

Hebrews 9:22

You've heard me actually quote that verse.

When we take communion and do the Lord's table, without the shedding

of blood, there's no remission or forgiveness of sins.

So, so there has to be a price that has been paid.

And in this case we know that the ultimate sacrifice, that the

reason why we can forgive others is because of what Jesus Christ

has done for us.

And, and even in the book of Hebrews, it talks about how the blood

of animals didn't really cover it, didn't really, you know, pay

the price for sin.

It was just a postponing judgment.

Ultimately, Jesus is the once for all sacrifice.

And Hebrews chapter 10 is all about that.

Hebrews 10 · chapter mention

If you want to get a really interesting study.

When it deals with the law verse, grace, read through the book

of Hebrews and the book of Hebrews will explain to you the inadequacy

of the law, the inadequacy of our flesh and the sufficiency of

Christ, How Christ is enough.

So.

So I don't know about you guys.

I like to summarize every book of the Bible.

And for my mind.

So, like, if I'm thinking about a book of the Bible, that's

the overall topic.

Um, the study of Hebrews is Jesus is enough like that.

If you could summarize Hebrews in one sentence, it's Jesus is enough.

We don't need the animals, we don't need the law.

We don't need anything else.

We need Jesus, and we need his forgiveness.

And so we know that in that case, the example would be that Jesus

has extended this gift of grace, and so we should as well.

And so God forgives people on the basis of the sacrifice of Christ.

So if God forgives people on the basis of the sacrifice of Christ,

how do we forgive people on the basis of the sacrifice of Christ?

I want.

I want you to see this passage of scripture, one that we frequently

go to, but I think it's an important passage of scripture to

see.

It's Ephesians, chapter four, verse 32.

We're gonna get to forgive and forget.

But I want to kind of get a biblical definition of forgiveness.

So so far, what we've realized is forgiveness is always linked to

a sin.

It's linked to repentance, and it's linked to Christ.

So, so forgiveness is.

It's number one, it's linked to a sin against me.

Okay?

And we're speaking on the side of the forgiver, but I think all

of us at some point will need to be the one who is asking for forgiveness.

But in this perspective, we're looking at, hey, someone has wronged

me.

How do I deal with this?

Okay?

And so in this case, the Bible says in Ephesians, chapter 4, verse

Ephesians 4:32

32, and be kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving

one another, even as God for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you.

So it's tied to Christ.

It's tied to his sacrifice.

It's tied to the forgiveness that was extended to us in the gospel.

And so going back, forgiveness is linked to a sin against me.

It's linked to repentance or confession or an admission of sin,

and it's linked to the sacrifice of Christ.

Now, we're gonna build a little bit on this, and we're gonna

realize that really the only requirement is that a person who

sins, confesses or admits their sins, turns from it and trusts

in Jesus Christ as savior.

That's biblical forgiveness.

Now, now, once a person has experienced the forgiveness of God,

um, And hopefully that's all of us.

Hopefully we've all tasted of the forgiveness of God because we

see that to have biblical forgiveness, there's a prerequisite.

That's a big word, prerequisite.

Some of you that went to college and you had to have a class

to get to another class, right?

A prerequisite.

I gotta do this before I do this.

Um, so.

So you have to have something in your life before you're able to

extend biblical forgiveness.

Well, Ephesians chapter 4, verse 32 tells us that you have to

Ephesians 4:32

experience the forgiveness of Christ to understand how to properly

forgive somebody else.

Okay?

That's the prerequisite.

And so the Bible says that once we have experienced the great

infinite forgiveness of Christ as far as the east is from the west,

we are now able hopefully, to have in our minds and in our hearts

the framework to understand what true forgiveness is.

So, so another passage of Scripture that is similar to this

is Colossians chapter three.

And I want you to go to all these passages if you can.

If you, if you don't feel like flipping around, you.

You can write these down.

But I think it would be important to see all these passages

of Scripture dealing with forgiveness, because I don't know

about you, but I don't like to forgive.

My, My flesh does not want to forgive.

My flesh wants to hold other people to the fire.

I don't know about you.

Maybe, maybe you guys are just a lot more spiritual than me.

But there's times in my life where I'm like, man, they've wronged

me.

So you know what they get, what they get.

And, and, and the truth is, is that's our flesh.

Okay?

But then we see what Scripture says.

And, and that's how we deal with all issues, all things that

are difficult within the Christian life.

We don't appeal to our feelings or our flesh.

We appeal to what Scripture says.

So what does Scripture say?

Another passage, Colossians chapter 3, verse number 13.

Colossians 3 · chapter mention

And, and there's a word here that we're going to talk about that

a lot of times people link to forgiveness, but it's actually the

extension of forgiveness to somebody until they repent.

So let's look at verse number 13 of Colossians 3.

It says forbearing one another, and then it goes on to say,

and forgiving one another.

Now, a lot of times people use the word forbearance and forgiveness

as synonyms, but what forbearance is.

The, the best description I've ever heard of forbearance would be

I'm offering forgiveness on the occasion that you come back and

you repent.

So, so forgiveness is ready for, for you.

And if the person says, nah, I don't want your forgiveness, you're

still forbearing it.

You're still offering forgiveness.

Now the moment they come back and they say, you know what?

I've sinned against you, I'm repentant, then there's that restoration.

And in restoration comes forgiveness.

So it says, forbear one another.

That's the starting place.

So, so real world example, someone sins against me and I go,

I don't care if they come back on their hands and knees begging

for forgiveness, I'll never give them forgiveness.

That's not forbearance.

Forbearance is, you know what?

I'm ready and willing to restore this relationship.

I'm willing to forgive if they're willing to forgive.

If they're willing to repent, I'm willing to forgive.

So it says, forbearing one another and forgiving one another.

If any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave

you, so also do ye.

So again, there's that reminder that it's linked to Christ.

And so those, those who understand forgiveness from Christ

and then are not willing to extend forgiveness to those who have

sinned against them are, are not connecting the dots to what God

has done for us.

We, we as Christians should be willing to forgive people who have

sinned against us.

And, and if we think about the, the grandeur of the forgiveness

of God, it really puts into perspective how selfish we can be

here.

Jesus has just gotten done explaining how to have biblical restoration

and how to deal with an individual who has publicly sinned

and how to deal with them.

Right?

And so the, if, if you don't have a working understanding of Matthew

18, this is the basic summary.

If someone of a brother, brother or fellow believer sins against

you, what, what do we do?

Well, we go tell on him to everyone else in the church.

No, biblically speaking, Jesus taught that if a brother sins against

you, I, I want, I want us to see that.

B, let's, let's just go back and look at it because we need to

understand this.

This is a, a passage of scripture that in many ways gets,

gets misused.

Okay, so let's look at verse 50.

He says, moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee,

that's Matthew 18:15.

Matthew 18:15

Now what did we say about the idea of forgiveness?

It always is in the realm of sin.

It's not in the realm of my personal ego being hurt.

A lot of times people will quote Matthew 18 because we, we say

a word, it starts with an O and ends with fend.

Offend.

They offended me.

And if a brother offends you, you need to go to them.

Look, the truth is, is that people can be offense and there not

be a sin involved.

And I've used this example before, and it's a silly example,

but it's example that I think kind of resonates, hopefully.

Let's say we have a potluck here at the church, okay?

And this, this person cooks a meal and they're like, man, this

is my secret recipe.

And I've got this.

And everyone loves this meal.

Everyone loves this.

And then we go, and, and, and there's another person there that's

known to be a good cook.

And they walk right by and go, I'm not trying that.

That's not that.

I'm not going to eat their food.

Oh, I'm offended.

So therefore we, we, we've got an issue, we got an issue of separation

within the church.

Now, it can lead to bitterness, it can lead to sin.

But when we're Talking about Matthew 18 and church discipline

is what this is, it specifically deals with.

Go back to verse 15.

Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, it's a sin.

A sin.

What biblical sin has this person committed against me?

Okay, it's tied to sin.

Go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.

So the first step of a sin, okay, so let's say, for example,

I'm sitting here preaching, and one of you gets up tonight, I've

had it with Pastor Josh preaching the way he preaches, and

you come up and just give me a right hook or cross across the face,

right?

You, you've sinned against me, okay, You've hurt me.

And, and then there's at that point in time where I, I have to

make a decision, okay?

How am I going to respond to this?

Well, I would say, okay, instead of me going around talking

about to all the other people that, oh, that was a pretty much

public sin, let's say you did it in private.

Maybe I'm just out in the parking lot, but me and you're the

last ones out there, and you do something wrong to me, okay, I

have a decision to make.

I can take this offense and I can, as Jesus says, turn the other

cheek.

And there's a perfect, There's a, there's a biblical way to do that.

There's a biblical way to say, you know what?

I'm not even Offensed by this.

I'm just gonna let it go.

I'm gonna let this one ride.

And there's other times where that biblical sin is such a strong

offense to you that you can't move past it.

That's when we go one on one and we confront the brother or sister

and say, look, you bring it to them.

That's what it says.

And then everything's restored.

And what does this say at the end?

If he shall hear thee and there's repentance, thou hast gained

thy brother, it's even better, right?

But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more.

That in the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be

established.

And so there might be a point where we say that individual has

not received my approach, my confrontation in that sin and love,

and I need to bring more people so that there is some sort

of truth established that the word, it's like it's not he said,

she said.

This is all that.

Okay, then what does it say more?

It says, and if he shall neglect to hear them tell it unto

the church, so it becomes public, then let him who be unto

thee as, as a heathen man and a publican.

That means there's a certain point.

If they're not willing to receive the.

The love and the restoration of the church, then we say, you know,

you can't be a part of us.

And that's tough.

That's.

That's tough.

We never want to get there.

That.

That's like the atomic bomb.

We don't want to drop that.

Okay?

We want to get it taken care of on that first initial thing.

Okay, so.

So Jesus is talking to his followers about forgiveness.

And, and, and, and by the way.

Well, I, I'll skip over that.

There's.

There's a couple other passages of scripture here that kind

of get misinterpreted, but we'll just stop there.

That's how we deal with a brother or sister that has sinned

against us individually.

Okay, but then Peter comes, so.

So we're back.

Verse 21.

Then came Peter to him and said, lord, how off shall my brother

sin against me?

And I forgive him.

So Peter, of course, is thinking like we're thinking, yeah,

but what if he does this like 20 times and we go and confront him

and he says, I'm.

I'm sorry, and there's restoration, but then he does it

again.

What do we do?

How many times do I need to keep forgiving this guy?

Till seven times.

Seven times.

And Jesus responds In, in the way that only Jesus can respond.

And, and I love the way that Jesus responds to his followers because,

you know, he could have just said, no, you just keep, keep, he

forgiven him forever.

But he uses an analogy, he uses something to explain to him

the, the, the abundance of forgiveness that we give.

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee until seven times,

but until 70 times seven.

It's like, what, 70 times seven?

And, and so I've heard some people, I've heard some people hear

this passage of scripture and they're like, okay, what's that?

I didn't go to math.

I went to Bible School.

Seven times 70 is at 4:90.

Okay, so what happens at.

So after the 490th time, then we don't need to forgive.

I, I don't believe that's what Jesus is talking about.

I think Jesus is trying to explain to them that it's, you don't

count it.

Like, you just keep forgiving.

You need to have a spirit of forgiveness.

And so going back to biblical forgiveness, it deals it, it, it's,

it starts in a sin, it's linked to repentance, it's, it's

related and, and based in the forgiveness of Jesus Christ.

And it's abundant, it's merciful.

Remember where we started in Psalms, it was about God's abundant

mercy, his abundant grace.

So it's like, okay, I'll keep forgiving, I'm patient.

And there's a lot of arguments with this.

They say, well, you know, I was never called to be a doormat.

I understand that.

And, and, and there's biblical discernment on, on true repentance,

right?

Because there's gonna be people that come to Christ and say,

hey, you know what?

You know, I, I, I wanna believe.

And, and, and there's gonna be people that fake it, and there's

gonna be people that fake repentance.

And we can't know everyone's heart.

But the Bible does say in this case that we should err on the side

of graciousness, we should err on the side of mercy, we should be

willing to forgive multiple times.

And so here's the parable.

I know that was a long Runway to get to the parable, but we're

gonna get to this parable, okay?

And I think most of you, if not all of you will understand the

exact application here, but it says verse 23, Therefore is the kingdom

of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account

of his servants, and when he had begun to reckon, one was brought

unto him which owed him 10,000 talents.

Okay, so we don't.

We don't really deal with talents when it comes to money anymore.

But this is a debt that was.

Couldn't be paid.

This guy could not make enough to pay this back.

It was.

It was a unreachable number.

But for as much as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to

be sold and his wife and his children, all that he had and payment

to be made.

The servant therefore fell down and worshiped him, saying, lord,

have patience with me, and I shall pay, and I will pay the all.

Then the lord of the servant was moved with compassion and loosed

him and forgave him of the debt.

So there is forgiveness.

But it was based upon what?

It was based upon repentance.

He came to him and showed a repentant heart, at least in this

scenario.

Verse 27.

The Lord of that servant was moved with compassion, loosed him

and forgave him the debt.

But then the same servant went out.

So this is the person who just received a debt that was unpayable,

but yet he received forgiveness because of that.

So it would be like, I don't know, for example, I don't know how

much money everyone makes, but let's just say something crazy like

he owed like a hundred million dollars and he only made, you know,

$50,000 a year.

He can never.

He's never gonna make this money the rest of his life, but yet

he's still forgiven of it.

Okay, that's our sin debt.

We can't pay back our sin.

But then here we go.

He's gonna go out and he's gonna act a certain way.

But the same servant went out and found one of his fellow servants

which owed him a hundred pence.

This is minimal.

This is small.

This is not a huge debt.

And he laid hands on him and took him by the throne, saying, pay

me that thou owest.

So there's no Greece, there's no mercy, there's no reciprocation

of what he has received from the master.

And his fellow servant fell down at his feet repentance and besought

him, saying, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

And he would not but went and cast him into prison till he should

pay the debt.

So when his fellow servants saw what was done and they were very

sorry and came and told their Lord, all that was done.

Then his Lord, after that, he called and called him and said unto

him, oh, thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt because

thou Desires me, should us not thou also have had compassion on

thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee.

And his Lord was wroth angry and delivered him to the tormentors,

till he should pay all that was due unto him.

So likewise shall my heavenly father do also unto you, if he from

your hearts forgive not every one of his brother's brother their

trespasses.

And so the Bible very clearly teaches here that the expectation

for someone who has received such a great gift of forgiveness

from God should be willing to extend that same forgiveness to others

around them.

So you say, okay, you've, you've hit the idea of the need for

forgiveness.

And, and what is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is releasing somebody's debt to you.

So they sinned against you, they owe you a debt, you release

that debt.

That's biblically what forgiveness is.

Now the next question that is linked to this is, so how do I forgive?

Because you've maybe heard someone say forgive and forget.

That's what God does.

He forgives and forgets.

So therefore, you have to literally have Christian amnesia

and never think about what's ever happened.

You cannot think about what's happened.

Um, but I don't think that that's biblical.

I don't think it's possible to completely remove an element of our

brain that's actually been hurt.

So, so what does that mean?

Um, I, I'm gonna pose to you in the next few moments what I think

biblically it, it means.

And then I think what we'll do is next week we'll come back and

dive deeper into that.

So, so we often hear the word forgive and forget.

And, and I think that that can be misleading to people.

And I think it can be detrimental to someone's spiritual

growth because they might feel defeated, because that can't happen.

You know, someone's greatly wronged me.

Maybe, maybe it's an issue of abuse.

And I think it's insensitive for me to come to someone and say,

well, I know that you got abused before, but you gotta forgive

that person, even though they're not repentant, by the way,

and you gotta just get over it and forget it even happened.

Well, that's not, I don't think, a good way to direct someone

to understand the grace of God.

Because, number one, I think that a lot of times we think that

forgiving somebody is condoning the wrong that was done

to us.

Like, well, if I say that I forgive him, I'm saying it was okay

that that sin was committed against me.

I'm, I'm condoning that sin.

God never does that.

God never forgives and says, well, it was okay that you did that.

No, there was a price that was paid.

There was repentant heart.

There was Jesus Christ that died on the cross for our sins.

So, so there's this idea that I think sometimes that's taught is

that, hey, you have to forgive everyone for everything, even if

they're not repentant.

And I don't think that's true.

I think biblically speaking, if we look at God as the example,

we, we forgive and restore with those that are seeking restoration

and forgiveness in repentance.

But I do believe that all of us, no matter what has happened in

our life, no matter what sin has been done to us or against us,

we must be willing to forbear them until that repentance happens.

Because I've heard people say, well, someone's harmed me and they've

never asked for forgiveness.

Am I supposed to just release that?

Well, the truth is, is that you forbearing them is not releasing

their guilt.

It's releasing that grip and, and the bitterness that you hold

because of that sin.

So, so you're allowing, if you don't forbear that person and ultimately

be willing to forgive, you're allowing that sin to dictate to you

your spiritual walk.

Because it's like bitterness and anger and, and, and condemnation

and judgment.

And, and that's not the way that we're designed.

That forbearance allows us to release that burden that that person

did or, or, or committed in my life.

And saying, lord, I'm giving that over to you.

And, and so to, to forgive somebody and, and forget does not

mean that a person who has been wrong develops some sort of

like, forgetfulness.

But a person has been, you know, I mean, we could fill in the

blank.

We don't need to sit here and give a bunch of hypotheticals.

But the truth is, is that I believe in the Bible, when, when

it's talking about God, you, you maybe even heard this.

God's forgotten about your sin.

I, I don't think that is the case.

If you look at Genesis chapter eight with me, we'll hit Genesis

chapter eight and, and I will speak to the idea of, the idea of

God forgetting and remembering.

Because think about this.

If, look, remember some of you were here on Sunday night.

Theology matters.

Theology matters.

Okay, so is God all knowing?

Yes.

We call that omniscience.

God knows everything.

So if God knows everything, does God forget about something and

then have to be reminded of something?

No, not, not not theologically.

Theologically speaking, God knows all we don't like.

He doesn't go, oh wait, I forgot about, you know, Middletown

Baptist.

Oh man, I, I, so, so when the Bible uses the term forget and remember,

it's, it's talking about something else.

And so I want you to see Genesis chapter eight with me.

You know this story, it's the story of Noah.

So we're not going to dive into that, but we're going to dive

into what verse one says.

And it says, and God remembered Noah and every living

thing and all the cattle that was with him in the ark.

And God made a wind to pass over the earth and the waters assuaged.

And so that's talking about the end of the, the flood.

Now theology matters.

Did God sit up there during the flood and forget about Noah?

Oh man, I forgot Noah existed.

Now I remember him.

No, that, that's not, I don't think biblically what it's talking

about.

And, and I believe in, in the Hebrew, in the, in the biblical concept

of remembering it.

It, in the Hebrew, it actually means to choose to act upon.

So, so to, to, to put something to action.

So what does that mean here?

Well, well, at the end of the flood, God chose to act upon what

he promised Noah and his family, right?

Same thing with forgetting.

He, he, he holds back or he pulls back action so he doesn't bring

it to the forefront of his mind or he doesn't bring it to action.

So, so what it means is this.

When God remembers us, it's not like he forgot about us.

It means that God is putting to action what he has promised us.

And on the same thing, on the area of forgetting, God doesn't forget

about who we are.

God doesn't pull back into his mind or pull back into us and put

to action what we actually deserve.

And so when God, when it says that God forgets our sin, or in that

context of, of, of not remembering, it means that he's not

bringing back before us the sin that we committed in the past

because we're forgiven from that.

So remove far as the east is from the west, that so, so true biblical

forgiveness, if there's repentance, means that we don't bring

back what has been committed in the past.

I don't remember that.

So in essence I forget, I don't forget that it existed, but

I don't use that against somebody else because of a sin.

I don't hold that over their head.

And so you guys have all heard the classic example of like, okay,

well, I forgive you.

But then next time it happens, it's like, well, remember that last

time you did that?

Well, you didn't really forgive then because you're bringing

up, you're remembering and you're not forgetting.

You're not, you're not keeping it back here.

You're putting it to action, the sin that has been forgiven.

So it's not forgiveness.

And so I know that's tough to kind of, to articulate, but what

I would mean is this.

You can't forget about the sin that has been committed against you.

Maybe you can.

Maybe some of you can come up to me and say, pastor, I completely

forgot about that sin.

Well, you didn't forget about it.

If you just told me you forgot about it.

Okay, so it's there, right?

You're able to put it back.

So it's not in the forefront of your mind and you dwell upon it

in an unhealthy way.

We meditate upon the truth.

We meditate upon those things which are good, pure, holy.

And we don't meditate upon those things that were, were forgiven.

And that's the way that God, God doesn't sit there and go, well,

remember that last time you did that?

Anytime you reminded of the sin of your past, that's Satan trying

to pull you back in.

Okay?

That's not God.

God never reminds us of our past and our sin.

And so that's the idea.

And then the other thing that we do within relationships is like,

it's the passive bringing back up of things like, well, I'm not

gonna bring up what you did last week.

I'm not gonna bring up what you did.

Well, you just brought it up.

Cause you said that.

And so the idea for us in forgiveness would be true biblical

forgiveness is if I have forgiven and if there is repentance,

then it's no longer in our midst, it's no longer in the conversation.

And so, and, and, and so like Jeremiah 31, 34, the, the Lord is

speaking here.

He says, for I will forgive their iniquity and I will remember

their sin no more.

It's not that God like wipes things out of his brain.

Now some people would argue with me on that.

They say, you know what?

He buries it in the ocean and he can't remember it.

He can't remember it.

I, I think it just means that God is not going to remember our

sin or judge us for the.

And so, you know, I'm, I'm willing to have that debate with

you, but I do believe that a good Example of this would be First

1 Corinthians 13:5

Corinthians, chapter 13, verse 5.

First Corinthians, chapter 13, verse five.

1 Corinthians 13 · chapter mention

I think we'll probably end with this tonight and we'll speak

more about forgiveness next week, because I want to talk next

week more about the practical application of it.

And, and so we will launch in First Corinthians chapter 13 next

1 Corinthians 13 · chapter mention

week.

But I want to leave us with this because.

True.

So in, in forgiveness is love, right?

And it's, it's, it's the sentiment that if God loves us and

God forgives us, he will not keep a record of wrongs.

Okay?

So, so God isn't sitting up there after he's forgiven us of our

sin, and now he's saying, okay, well, I still have that record

there.

I've still have the, I still have all your transgressions.

Well, that's not biblical love.

And that's the same thing when it comes to our forgiveness.

1 Corinthians, chapter 13, verse 5.

1 Corinthians 13:5

It says love.

This is talking about love.

It does.

Or charity, as the King James says, doth not behave itself unseemly,

seeketh not her own.

So it's, it's humble.

And then it goes on a little bit further.

It says, is not easily provoked.

And then here's what I want you to think about here.

It says, thinketh no evil.

Now, in, in the original language, that it literally means

don't keep a record of wrongs.

Don't assume that they're going to go right back into that.

And so forgiveness would be.

Look, I'm not going to keep hitting you over the head with what

I've forgiven you of already, okay?

That's, that's biblical forgiveness.

Now, it's not forgive and forget as much as it is forgive and

not hold this against somebody in their account, not to condemn

them for that sin.

Not, not to, not to rake them over the coals again and again and

again.

And, and so both, both the person who has forgiven and the person

who is the person receiving the forgiveness should allow it to

be something of the past.

And so we'll, we'll get more about this next week.

But I think so.

So, so the question is this, is it forgive and forget?

Yes and no.

It's impossible to completely forget.

But it is like, we act like we have forgotten about it, and I think

that's the way that we, we can deal with it when it comes to things

that are really wrong.

Now, this isn't talking about a personal, like, people have probably

said something critical of me and it was of no offense to me, and

maybe at first I was a little upset, and then like five minutes

later I forgot about it.

That.

I mean, that's okay.

We understand that.

We understand like just kind of.

And Jesus speaks of that, like just turning the other cheek.

That's.

That's against personal slights, by the way, that Jesus is

talking about that.

But, but the idea for me would be someone who's been seriously hurt,

seriously sinned against, you know, dealing with people within

the church.

And I know this is long, but.

But I think we gotta talk about this.

There are a lot of people that are dealing with church, what we

call church hurt.

I've gone through a church.

I've been hurt here.

So, so that's.

We had to unpack that.

There's a lot of people that have been harmed by their own family.

There's a lot of people that have been harmed by someone of their

past.

Maybe it was someone that there was a relationship with.

Who knows what it is.

But, but so many people are carrying baggage with them.

And there's this idea that, you know what?

I just have to get over it.

But the Bible doesn't ever speak of you just pulling yourself

up by the bootstraps and just saying, I gotta be better than this.

It's allowing the forgiveness of Christ to be the driving force.

And something that's impossible, forgiving someone that

has done something terrible can eventually get to a place of

possibility in the power of God.

And so we'll talk more about the practical application of that

and what that will look like in the real world setting next week.

So I know that that's a tough topic.

No.

1, we never want to sit and talk about forgiveness.

Right?

We never really want to, like, dwell upon things that make us uncomfortable.

And forgiveness makes us uncomfortable.

I mean, at least makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes until I get

to the place where I understand what's done for me in

Jesus Christ.

And that's where we always have to go back to.

But I think a lot of issues within the church, within the family,

could be easily avoided if we were able to mirror and model what

the forgiveness of Christ looks like.

And, and, and I think that that's something that we can talk

about more next week.

So we will deal next week with the element of forgiveness in the

practical.

And then there was another question that was posed to me.

And, and I think it will link together really well with.

This is the idea of repentant sins.

Okay, so am I perpetually sinning if I have done this?

Or is It a one time sin or is it, you know, we're gonna talk about

that, so we'll, we'll link in the idea of sin with forgiveness.

And so we've, we started with forgiveness and next week we'll deal

with sin and repentance and how God releases us from our past

when we are saved.

Okay?

You are not defined by what you've done.

A lot of people were like, man, if you knew me.

Well, I don't know you, but, but God knew you and he still forgave

you because he loves you and his, his, his infinite grace.

And, and so I think there's a lot of people, I've heard people

even say this and, and hopefully, hopefully you, you'll

understand what I mean by this.

I've heard people say, I don't know how God forgives me, I can't

forgive myself.

You know, and I'm not here to pitch this like, oh, God, forgive

yourself.

It's, it's the idea that who are we to say that we can't forgive

ourselves and get past what we have done if the Lord of the universe,

the one who created us, is willing to extend forgiveness to

us?

So it's, it's wrestling with our past, I think is, is a big thing

that we all have to deal with.

And you know, some people say, well, Pastor Josh, you grew up in

the church, you went to a Christian school, you didn't have

a tough life like me.

And I'll say, you know what, There's a lot of things that go on

at Christian schools that aren't great.

Okay?

I, I, I'm not proud of my past.

And I think everyone's honest.

We've all sinned, we've all fallen short of the glory of God.

And, and we, we all have to wrestle with that.

And sometimes what Satan does is he'll take a grip, a small little

piece of something from our past and put it into our, our, our

lap and make us feel like that's who we are today.

And we can't have that.

As a Christian, we are free from that.

And Romans, chapter eight.

Man, I, I'm, you got, you got another hour.

Romans, chapter 8.

Romans 8 · chapter mention

There is therefore now no condemnation.

Right?

Condemnation is much different than conviction.

And, and we will, we will look at those two things, the difference

between condemnation and conviction, because conviction's

a good thing, condemnation is a bad thing.

And we're gonna talk about those two.

Okay?

And we'll get to some more questions.

I, I got questions about, I got questions from everything between

dinosaurs to Satan to creation to all different kind of stuff.

So we're gonna, we're gonna delve into topics that maybe don't

get talked about as often within the church, but we need to

talk about these things because you know you're gonna get

people having questions about things.

And maybe you've been taught something that is right, maybe you've

been taught something that's wrong.

Maybe you watched a movie and thought that that's what that's all

about.

I mean, feel free to ask any question.

I promise you that I will do my best to try to address it some.

I might not address completely exactly the way that you posed the

question.

Don't feel offended or anything.

It's just I have to fit it into a, a sermon and, and apply it

to everything.

But I have some more cards up here, and if you feel like asking

some more questions, you can.

And this, this is stretching me.

Okay.

Because last week I was like, okay, we're gonna do this.

And then I got the questions and I'm like, okay, I committed to

this.

Now I gotta do this.

So I love doing this kind of stuff, but it puts a little bit more

pressure when you all are looking at me.

Okay.

If it's a one on one, I can do that.

But sometimes it's, it's a little bit more stressful in that

way.

Um, so anyway, ask, ask, ask away.

Ask those questions.

And, and it, and it could be just, it could be a short question.

Like, I had someone ask me, who did, who did you know, you have

Cain and Abel, who, who do they marry?

And that's a, that's an interesting question.

Right?

A lot of people have a hard time with understanding all the concepts

of the book of Genesis.

Like, that's a hard thing to think about because it's a different

way of life.

It was a different way of, of, of living there.

So, so we'll talk about some things.

If you want to ask them, we can.

All right, well, let's move on.

I know that's a long time.

Took too long.

I apologize for that.

But if you, if you need a prayer sheet, go ahead and slip your

hand up in there and we'll get one of those for you.

Before we go any further, I do, I do want to make it clear.

You know, speaking of forgiveness, you.

When you have a situation and, and I, I think we've, I've been taught

you gotta forgive in every situation.

You have to just let it go.

The truth is, I think you, I, I believe biblically speaking, you

have to, forbear in every situation.

I don't believe you have to forgive if that person is unrepentant

and continuing on in that sin.

Um, there's grace.

We, we treat him with, with grace.

We treat him with love.

We treat him with, with, with patience.

But, but sometimes I think people are pushed to saying, just

let it go.

Just, you're.

You condone the wrong.

And I don't think that's biblically right.

God doesn't condone the wrong.

I think it's biblical to stand up against those that have done evil

against us.

And so I just wanted to be clear about that.

I didn't because I know sometimes I've gotten up and people

have said, so now I'm supposed to forgive this person that's hurt

me and they don't care.

I don't think you have to forgive.

I think you have to forbear them and biblically be willing to

forgive if they came back in, in, in repentance.

Okay.

So just want to go on record for that.

Thank you again for listening to the Middletown Baptist Church

podcast.

I hope that this sermon has been a blessing for you.

You would like to find out more information about our church

or this sermon, you can find us at middletownbaptistchurch.org

or find us on Facebook or YouTube.

You can also email me directly at Josh Massaro, Middletown BaptistChurch.com

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Thank you so much.

God bless.

Have a wonderful day.