Forgiveness and Forbearance: A Christian Approach

Hello and welcome to the Middletown Baptist Church podcast,

where we are proclaiming the truth to the world.

My name is Pastor Josh, and I want to thank you for listening to

this podcast.

I hope that this podcast can be a blessing to you and strengthen

you in the word of God.

Now, come along.

Let's look into the Bible and see what God has for us here today.

All right, well, let's go ahead and get into our study here

this evening.

If you were not here.

Last week, we started our study on forgiveness, and it was

really this.

This whole study on forgiveness was predicated upon a

question that basically was this, what is true forgiveness?

Is it just forgive and forget, or is it something else?

And we talked a little bit about that last week, and what we

talked about was some of the.

Some of the really cornerstone marks of true forgiveness.

And it starts with, obviously, a sin, right?

Because a lot of times we think that there has to be this big

confrontation if someone just looks at me wrong or does something

that just offends me on my own personal preference.

But the Bible very clearly teaches in Matthew chapter 18 that

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

biblical forgiveness and restoration really starts with an

offense of sin against another individual.

And then with that sin, obviously comes the restoration.

Because if someone sins against me, if we're looking at the

example of who Jesus is and what he has done for us, then we

as believers don't have the obligation to forgive just because

someone sinned against us.

We have, I believe, the obligation of something called forbearance,

which is different than forgiveness.

I believe as Christians, we have to offer forgiveness.

We have to be ready and willing to receive the repentant

heart of a brother or sister and then extend that forgiveness

to them if they come to us.

But if they don't come to us in repentance or repentance before

the Lord, ultimately, I don't believe that we have an obligation

to ultimately absolve them from their sin.

And ultimately we can't absolve anyone from sin.

The Bible clearly teaches that it is only God who forgives sin.

But when we're dealing with a personal slight or a sin against

us, it starts with a sin, and then it goes then to the individual

who committed the sin to come back in repentance.

And the one who is willing to forgive should be willing to be that

forbearing person and extend that gift of grace to them.

And we looked at Matthew, chapter 18, and we looked at that

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

parable of the individual who owed a great debt that he could never

pay back.

And then his Master, his Lord, forgave him of that debt.

And then he goes out right away and finds another individual

who barely owed him anything and was willing to put him to death

because of that.

And it showed the disconnect between experiencing the forgiveness

of God and then extending the forgiveness that God has extended

to us.

And so I, I think the key passage that we can look at when

it comes to forgiveness and the perspective of forgiveness would

be that passage of Scripture in the book of Ephesians.

And, and you can turn there with me now if you would like to

kind of start as a launching point to the rest of our study in

this.

And so we, we have that passage in ephesians, Ephesians,

Ephesians 4:32

chapter 4, verse 32.

And I think that right here it explains to us exactly the motivation

behind our forgiveness.

And I obviously had some questions with this sermon in the

concept of, like, well, how can I be expected to forgive someone

who has done such a heinous act?

Like, for example, you know, someone kills someone that we love,

how are we expected just to let them go in that.

And the Bible doesn't say that we are to let someone go in their

sin.

We're not to condone their sin.

We're not to even agree with that sin.

But what we are supposed to do is forgive them the way that Christ

forgave us.

And so that's what Ephesians chapter 4, verse 32 says.

Ephesians 4:32

It says, and be kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving

one another.

And then here's the key element of this.

We forgive like Christ forgave us, even as God for Christ's sake

hath forgiven you.

And so we do this because of what was done for us.

We do forgiveness in our life because of the forgiveness that God

extended us through Jesus Christ.

And so the only way that we're able to do biblical forgiveness in

our life is through Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for us.

And so we always look at the example of God's forgiveness.

And so someone might say, how can I forgive someone for this even

if they come back to me?

And I've heard individuals say, you know what?

Even if that person came back crawling on their hands and knees,

I would never forgive them.

And so the question would be, well, really, really?

And, and, and, and the idea that I would have is this.

If you have experienced the forgiveness of God in your life,

how can you say that statement of I would never forgive?

And, and then the next question would be, well, how.

How can I forgive someone that has hurt me so deeply?

It's always going back and appealing to the power of God and

saying, lord, let me experience your forgiveness, let

me understand your forgiveness, and let me be able to

extend that same forgiveness to others around me.

But I think that one of the things I wanted to touch on last

week, which we'll look at here this week, is in Matthew chapter

six.

If we looked at Matthew 18, let's look at Matthew chapter six.

And most of you know Matthew chapter six because it's, it's tied

to the Sermon on the Mount, one of Jesus's, if not his most famous

sermon.

But we know that even in Matthew chapter six, we see the model

prayer, some folks call it the Lord's Prayer.

And I think that we'll learn a lesson through this passage of Scripture

when it comes to how can I forgive?

And so I, I want us to rest on that question here this evening.

So, so we kind of already know, at least to the best that we

can within one study, what forgiveness is, what biblical forgiveness

is.

And we've realized the responsibility of forgiveness that

we all have to be forbearing.

We all have to extend that forgiveness.

And then if someone comes back in repentance, then we extend that

forgiveness to them.

But now we need to look at the further question of how can we really

do this?

Well, let's look @ Matthew, chapter six.

And you remember this passage of Scripture.

Jesus's disciples come to him and ask him, how should we pray?

And Jesus says in verse 5, and when thou prayest, thou shall not

be as the hypocrites are.

And then he talks about praying in a humbled way.

And then he talks about praying not in vain repetitions,

but praying in a specific way in a direct way.

And then he gets to the model prayer, and we get to verse number

12, and it says, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.

And, and I find that very interesting because obviously Jesus

is, is teaching them how to pray.

But I think this is an example for us when it comes to that question

of how can we forgive.

Well, we have to start with asking God to give us the strength

to, number one, understand the forgiveness that we have received,

but then, number two, to extend that same forgiveness to others

around us.

And so the simple answer is this.

Ask God to give you the strength to forgive those around

you, and ask God to give you the understanding of how great his

forgiveness is for us.

Then, then if you, if you skip into the next verse and, and look

down Another verse, verse 14 says, for if ye forgive men their

trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your

father forgive your trespasses.

And so these are some strong words.

Essentially, if we don't understand God's forgiveness in our

life, we're not going to be able to extend forgiveness to those

around us.

And there's a lot of people that will say, you know what, I'm

a religious person, I believe in God, I'm a person of faith, but

I don't need forgiveness.

I feel like I'm good.

And the truth is, is that as a believer, we all have to come to

grips with this idea that we all are in desperate need of forgiveness.

And therefore, if we don't understand God's forgiveness in our

life, we'll never be able to forgive someone properly and vice

versa.

And so it goes, it's a two way street.

And so if someone says, you know what, I cannot forgive somebody,

then there is a heart issue there, There's a heart issue there.

Really?

Have you actually experienced forgiveness of God?

Do you know the forgiveness of God?

And so even further on in Jesus's teaching, he speaks of that

idea of understanding God's forgiveness and then reciprocating

that forgiveness to others around us.

And so there's all of those different things that we can think

about when it comes to this idea of forgiveness.

But what I would say to someone who says, how can I forgive?

It's a simple, simple answer.

It's this, look at what God has done for you, look at what God

has done for you and understand who you were before you

came to him, and understand who you are now after you have come

to him in true forgiveness.

And so what I would like to do here this evening is go a little

bit further into understanding the forgiveness that we have received

and how do we deal with that after we're saved?

Because you know what, I've even heard some people say I can't

forgive that person.

But I've also heard people say, you know what, I can't even

forgive myself.

I can't understand how I can be used by God because of the things

that I've done in my life.

And, and, and that might be not something that someone says publicly,

but you know, as a pastor, I have experienced people with their,

their, their burdens and they say, you know what, I just, you don't

know my past.

And, and so I want us to look here this evening at what God's forgiveness

really is and then how we go in that, in our life, how we can

grow in that understanding of his forgiveness and how Deep it is.

And I think that if we truly understand the depths of the forgiveness

that God extends to us, then I think that we will then be able to

extend the gift of forgiveness to others around us in.

In our own lives.

And so, so the moment that we are saved, the moment that we trust

in Jesus Christ in faith, we have repentant hearts.

We're turning away from our old ways.

We're turning to him.

The Bible says that we are saved.

The Bible says that we are forgiven.

And, and so we all know that.

Hopefully you understand the gospel, you understand that when

you come to Jesus Christ, it's not this thing that you have to clean

up your life and earn your way to him and, and pay your alms and

do these sacraments and then God forgives you.

No, it's the moment of repentance.

At the moment that I turn away from my way and my works and my good,

which is really in the Bible.

Bible's way of saying things is.

Is not good.

When we turn away from our way of thinking, our way of doing, and

we turn to him at that very moment, we're extending ourselves

in faith, and God forgives us.

So it's an immediate thing.

And I think there's an example there.

What's the example?

There is, like, when someone comes to me that has wronged me.

Let's.

Let's use an example.

Maybe, maybe they, they.

They said something negative about me to my face.

They called me a name, okay.

And that really hurt me.

And they come back and they're like, hey, you know what?

I'm really sorry about that.

I shouldn't have done that.

That was wrong.

I'm asking for your forgiveness.

Biblically speaking, at that immediate moment, we should release,

we should forgive, we should restore that relationship, because

that's what God does with us.

The moment of faith, the moment of repentance.

God then extends forgiveness.

But what sometimes happens is that we in our humanity say, okay,

now you gotta.

You gotta prove that to me.

You're gonna have to go through a lot of steps to earn this

forgiveness.

Again, that's not a biblical way to extend forgiveness.

Why?

Because that's not the example of what God gives us in his forgiveness.

And so I think that we need to understand that.

But I also think that we need to understand that at the time in

which we have been forgiven, we then now have to deal with the

old man.

What's the old man say?

I don't know.

Who's the old man?

The old man is our flesh.

The old man is Our sin nature.

And at the moment of our salvation, we have the Holy Spirit

indwelling us.

But the truth is, is that I don't know about you, but after I

got saved, I thought for a moment, hey, you know what?

Maybe I will never sin again.

Maybe I'll be able to live this life without sin.

And very quickly I realized that I still sin.

And I think that all of us, if we're honest with ourselves, would

admit that, hey, I still struggle with the old man.

Paul even says in the New Testament that he struggles with

the old man, the old way of doing things.

And so what happens for a believer when we sin?

Well, you know what?

We're back again into condemnation.

No, the Bible says that it's not the case.

And I want you to see in Romans chapter 8 what the believer's

Romans 8 · chapter mention

state is when he or she is saved.

So go with me to Romans chapter 8.

Romans 8 · chapter mention

Now, the reason why I want to point you to this is because this

is a common misconception within Christianity, the, the, the

broader scope of what we would call Biblical Christianity.

There, There are people that feel like when they sin, they have

to beat themselves up.

They have to go back through the whole process of getting saved

again.

They're disqualified.

And, and I want you to see the difference between two words here

tonight.

Condemnation, which we're going to talk about here in Romans

chapter eight.

And we're going to talk about the word conviction.

Two different things.

And, and sometimes what happens is we, we bring these two

things together and make them the same thing.

And theologically that is not the right way to see it.

So when we sin, there should be a response, but the response should

not be condemnation.

Look at Romans chapter 8, verse 1.

Romans 8:1

It says this.

There is therefore now no condemnation.

Now let's stop there.

What is condemnation?

Condemnation is guilt.

Condemnation is someone is condemning me for a wrong that I

have done and I need to pay a price.

I, I need, I need to pay the, the, the judge, some type of payment.

And so therefore, what we see here in this context is what does

Romans say?

For the wages of sin, the payment of sin is death.

And so he says here, there is therefore now no condemnation to

them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh, but

after the Spirit.

So if you are a believer here tonight, when you sin, there is no

condemnation to us.

Therefore, what that means is this.

When I sin, I don't lose my salvation.

So some people are afraid of that teaching.

Why?

Because there is that human fear that if we teach that there's

no condemnation, that people will just continue to sin.

Paul's already addressed that in Romans chapter six.

Romans, chapter six.

What shall we say then?

Shall we continue in sin?

That grace may abound?

Then he says, God forbid.

How shall we that are dead to sin live any longer therein?

And then he goes in to talk about that whole struggle that we

have between the flesh and the Spirit.

So you say, where are you going with this, Pastor?

I want us to understand that when we are forgiven, we are no longer

in condemnation.

You are no longer guilty.

You are no longer having a death sentence in your life.

The Bible says that our transgressions are blotted out.

And so maybe you've heard this before in our forgiveness.

God forgives us for past sins and maybe for present sins and for

our future sins.

And there's.

There's a lot that we have to unpack with that, because then we

see passages of Scripture that say, don't sin, and we struggle.

And I want us to think about the other word that I had mentioned.

There is what's called conviction, Holy Spirit conviction.

The Bible speaks very clearly that there is something in our life

called Holy Spirit conviction.

So we are not guilty.

So a lot of times I'll hear people say, you know what?

I felt so guilty of that sin.

I understand what we mean by that.

Basically, we're feeling the conviction of the Spirit, but we

are not guilty before God.

What are we feeling?

We are feeling that conviction that the Holy Spirit brings to us.

So I want you to see John, chapter 16 gives us a promise that

John 16 · chapter mention

when the Holy Spirit comes, which we know, the Holy Spirit has

already come to us.

So this is speaking about a past event for us, but for the Book

of John, it's a future event speaking of what happens in the Book

of Acts.

And it says, and when he has come talking about the Holy Spirit,

he will reprove the world of sin and of righteousness and of judgment.

That word reprove essentially talks about that idea of conviction.

The Holy Spirit will be bringing conviction to those that

are in sin.

And so it's not just the guilty conscience.

It's not just shame over sin, but it's actually conviction to bring

us out of that sin and bring us back into fellowship with God.

And.

And so when we sin, we can respond either in a response of condemnation

or we can respond in the response of conviction.

And so biblically speaking, when we sin, God's forgiveness is

still upon our life, but that sin should bring about conviction.

And when it brings about conviction, there's actually a response

to the conviction.

Because we can push away the conviction.

We can ignore the conviction, and we can allow ourselves to, as

the Bible says, quench the Holy Spirit, reject the Holy Spirit,

grieve the Holy Spirit.

And so when the Holy Spirit convicts our heart, what do we do

in response?

Well, the Bible says very clearly that when we feel or perceive

the conviction of the Spirit in our life because we've sinned

against God, that should bring us to a place of another word that

starts with a C.

Confession.

Okay, now some of you are about to walk out because you said,

I was always told I'm not supposed to confess to a priest.

You don't have to confess to a priest.

You don't have to confess to a pastor.

The Bible says in First John 1:9, what does it say?

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our

sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Now, what happens sometimes is that people will take that verse

in First John and they will say, that's only talking about someone's

salvation.

Okay, now I will say that is true.

We initially, when we confess our sins to the Lord, he forgives

us of our sins when it comes to the idea of salvation.

But you have to go back to understand context, and you have

to go back to remember who God is talking to when he is talking

to in the book of First John.

The book of First John is written to believers.

And so we see that that is actually a practice that believers

are supposed to practice when we sin in our lives.

And so says, if we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive

us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

So some might say, well, Pastor, you've just.

You just contradicted yourself because you said, we don't have to

keep getting saved over and over again.

So why do we have to keep coming back for forgiveness?

Because we understand in Scripture there's two elements to

this.

There's one element of the fact that we never lose our relationship

with God when it comes to him being our father and we being his

child.

And so it's like I always use this analogy when it comes to.

To my children.

Okay, I'll use Mike as an example.

My firstborn son.

There's nothing that he can do to not be my child.

Okay?

He can try to deny it.

He can say that he's not my child.

I can say that he's not my child, but I cannot deny that he

is my child.

The same thing goes for when someone is adopted into the family

of God.

And the book of Romans speaks all about that, that we can cry,

abba, Father.

And so in our forgiveness comes our salvation.

In our salvation comes our standing with God as his child.

Um, and if you want to speak more to that.

And in first John, it says, behold what manner of love the Father

has bestowed upon us.

That we should be called the sons of God.

Lest you deny that we're children of God.

The Bible's and I believe it's how it's written, we are children

of God.

But I do understand that with my relationship with my son, that

either he or myself can allow things to get in the way of our fellowship

within our relationship.

So, for example, you know, Micah can get mad at me and he can

go slam his door and he can say, dad, I'm not talking to you.

That doesn't mean that he's not my child anymore.

But that might mean that my fellowship with him has been broken,

that our relationship has been harmed, that he's not going to hear

dad giving the affirmations of, hey, son, I love you.

Because he's not there.

He's closed off to me.

And so what I would say that as a believer, when we feel, feel

and perceive the conviction of the Spirit when it comes to the sins

in our life, if we don't confess, we are driving a wedge between

God and ourselves when it comes to our relationship.

God doesn't go anywhere.

But we are the ones that have turned our backs against him.

And we are not perceiving the conviction of the Spirit when we

reject it.

So the Bible says to confess.

Now, what does that word, confess mean?

Some people think, well, that just means that I need to go tell

people what I'm doing.

Well, that's not necessarily the real definition of that confession.

I want you to see what that means.

Confession in the Greek basically means this.

The Greek word is two words together.

And I don't wanna lose you tonight in the Greek, but it'll make

sense when I explain this.

Homo meaning one logea, or logos meaning word.

And so one word, we're saying the same thing.

It literally means we're saying the same thing.

So for me to confess to God is that I am saying the same thing about

my sin as God is saying about my sin.

Right.

So God says that sin is terrible, that sin is against me.

That sin is.

Is what, you know, put me on the cross.

Okay, then I agree with that.

So confession is just agreeing with God.

It's understanding and saying the same thing about my sin.

And so when we feel the conviction of the Spirit in our life,

and the conviction of the Spirit comes in different ways, folks.

We understand that faith cometh by hearing and hearing by

the word of God.

We're not going to feel the conviction of the Spirit if we're

not in his word, because we're going to.

If, if we're looking at the world as our guide, the world says,

do whatever you want to do, right?

And so if we're not based in Scripture, it's going to be very

easy for us to drift and not receive the conviction of the Spirit.

But I do believe that if you're a child of God, the conviction

of the Spirit will be there.

And when that conviction of the Spirit comes, when we sin, there

is that restoration process when it comes to confessing our sins

to the Lord.

And so it's to concede your will and allow your will to align

with God's will.

And so I say all that to say that's the type of forgiveness that

we have.

It's an extended forgiveness.

It's not a superficial forgiveness.

It's not a forgiveness that doesn't care.

Right?

It pursues us.

God.

God pursues us when we sin.

God pursues us in the conviction of the Spirit.

And so I would say that in the process of someone sinning against

us, we don't go, well, you know what?

I'm done with them.

I will neglect them.

I turn my back against them.

I shun them.

No, there's always that desire to restore them back and allow them

every opportunity to come back in repentance and in humility before

God and before the person that they sinned against and say, you

know what?

I'm going to forgive because of your repentance.

Now, I do want, I want you to see another passage of Scripture

that, that speaks about this.

And I think I mentioned this last week, but I think it's good

to see Galatians, chapter six.

This, this speaks the same idea of, of extending that forbearance

ex being patient in forgiveness.

And so just as God is patient with us in, in his forgiveness to

us, we should be patient with others when we extend forgiveness

to them.

So let's say, for example, someone comes and they, they say,

you know what?

I'm sorry, I'm apologizing for this.

We say, okay, this is the last time.

If you do this again to me, no more forgiveness again.

That's not how God works.

God is always patient.

He's always long suffering.

And, and again, we talked about, remember what Peter in Matthew

18.

He says, Lord, how many times do we need to forgive?

Seven.

Seven times 70.

Right.

It's.

It's that.

It's that patience.

It's that long suffering.

And so Galatians chapter 6, verse 1.

Galatians 6:1

He says, Brethren, now we know he's talking to believers here.

If a man be overtaken in a fault or a sin, ye which are spiritual.

Now, that word spiritual means to be guided by the Spirit.

So, so what can we learn here?

We can learn that true forgiveness only comes from when

we are spirit filled.

How are we spirit filled?

We are spirit filled by dying to our flesh and allowing the Spirit

to guide our lives.

Now, how can we know that we are being filled with the Spirit?

Well, there's this wonderful thing in Galatians, chapter five

that comes right before this verse that talks about the fruit

of the Spirit.

So we are to forgive in.

Go back with me just a few verses.

Some of you that are in my Sunday School class will know that

this is an important thing in the believer's life.

Love.

We forgive in love, joy.

We forgive with joy, peace, long suffering.

There's that word patience there.

Gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.

We have self control in our forgiveness.

We have meekness in our forgiveness.

Against such there is no law.

And so he's referring back to that individual who's walking in

the Spirit.

He says, you who are spiritual, you are being guided by

the Spirit.

It is your job to forgive in this way.

He says, restore such a one.

So the Spirit is always restoration.

When, when a brother falls, when a brother sins against us, or

when they sin against the Lord, it's always about restoration.

Says re, restore them such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering

thyself, lest thou be tempted.

Meaning if I am not willing to forgive, going back to that forbearance.

And I know that that's probably not a word that you've ever

heard, and maybe you've never heard those two things separated

forgiveness and forbearance.

I had neither.

But I think it makes a lot more sense for me if I'm not a Christian

who's willing to forbear in grace and in patience, an individual

until they get to the place where they can come to forgiveness.

You know what?

I'm not a Christian in the spirit of meekness.

And I'm not a Christian who's able to fight against the enemy.

And the Bible says in verse one there that we will be tempted

and fall, fall into the trap of the same thing that that person

has done.

Or maybe not the Exact same thing, but the same idea of sin.

And then the whole spirit is this.

Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

For if, for if a man thinketh himself to be something when he is

nothing, he deceiveth himself.

And it goes on to talk more about bearing one another's burdens

there.

But what we understand is if you go down to verse number seven,

it says, be not deceived, God is not mocked.

For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

So, so my thought would be this.

If.

And I think that this is a principle of sowing and reaping.

If we want others to forgive us, which I think we would, I, I,

I, I, I want to be forgiven.

I want people to give me the benefit of the doubt.

I want people to understand that, hey, you know, maybe I, you

know, that I'm not perfect.

And the idea would be this.

If I want to have people forgiving me, I should sow forgiveness

in my life.

If I want people to be unforgiving to me, I'll sow unforgiveness.

You would say, well, what, why?

Why?

Because that's the principle that we see here.

The principle we see is that we want to sow to the Spirit and

not the flesh.

Verse 8.

For he that sth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption.

So the Bible says here that when we sow things that are fleshly,

like unforgiveness, like sensuality, anger, bitterness, whatever

it is, when we sow that into our lives, we're going to receive

that and we're going to receive corruption.

But he that soweth the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

Meaning there's, there's blessings, there's the understanding

of forgiveness when we sow that forgiveness in our own lives.

And so, um, and then I love the next verse.

It, I think it's connected there because I think that we get

tired in doing these things.

It says, and let us not be weary and well doing, for in due

season we shall reap if we faint not.

And, and so as we have therefore opportunity, let us do

good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household

of faith.

And so I think there's another lesson here.

I think that we are to extend forgiveness to all those around us,

but more specifically, as it says here, even more so, especially

to those that are of the household of faith, meaning other

brothers and sisters in Christ.

The problem is, is that sometimes some of the most conflict

that Christians have, is with other Christians.

And, and the problem with that would be that we're fighting against

each other.

And, and Jesus even says in, in John 17 that his prayer for the

church is unity.

And we can't have unity unless we're willing to forgive each other.

And for.

Sometimes I think that we talk about the.

Jesus speaks of turning the other cheek.

And I think that with that picture, I don't know if we necessarily

have time to go into that whole study, but Jesus is specifically

talking about a personal slight against you that you can just

let go.

Okay, Turn the other cheek.

Okay.

I'm not going to fight back.

I'm not going to reciprocate their wrong, because that's sometimes

what we do.

When someone wrongs us, we want to wrong them.

Jesus is teaching against that, wronging them back.

Just tolerate it.

Okay?

So, so, so there, there doesn't have to be, I don't believe

biblically speaking, there doesn't have to be a confrontation

every time someone does us a little slight to us.

If that be the case, we'd be having constant confrontations.

Okay, Any of you that are married, it might just be constant

confrontations all the way through your life.

You know what?

You did this, you did that.

There's gonna be things that we can just overlook within the grace

of God.

Okay, I just.

Not a big, Not a big deal.

Not.

I'm gonna get past this.

But there are other things that people do against us or to us

that we can't get over immediately.

And that's where we go back to that Matthew 18 principle.

Going to them one on one and saying, look, you have sinned against

me and this is the sin.

I think it's very, very important for us as a church, as

individual Christians to point out the specific biblical thing that

was done against us.

Because if I just go, I've done this before.

Well, you just were mean to me.

Well, how was I mean to you?

I don't know.

Right.

And maybe we don't remember specifically, but I do think it's

very helpful and very wise for us to use scripture against that

thing that was done against us.

Because we know that scripture does not return void and there's

power in the word of God.

And so if someone wrongs and say, you know, what the Bible calls

that, you know, for example, let's say someone going back to that

example, someone just says something wrong against us, maybe

a profane thing against us.

You know, we say, the Bible says let, let nothing corrupt come

out of your mouth and therefore you Know, you came to me

and you said something terrible about me.

You tore me down.

And, and that, that's not edifying.

And, and we use that as an example and we do it in love.

And the Bible says that when there's that restoration, there's

a brother that is found, there's a sister that's found.

And so I, I think about that when it comes to forgiveness, and

I think about how the, how the necessity of the Spirit is, is needed

and the necessity of understanding the forgiveness of

Jesus Christ is needed when it comes to forgiveness.

So is it forgiven?

Forget?

No.

I think we addressed that last week.

If you didn't come last week, you can turn back and watch that

in, in the, in the podcast or on the YouTube channel or on Facebook.

But what, what I will say is this.

It's you.

You can't sometimes forgive or forget when you forgive.

But the reality is, is that when we remember, when, when the

Bible says God forgets it, it doesn't mean that he has forgotten.

It just means that he is not bringing it back up and holding it

over our heads.

And I think that's the same thing when it talks about forgiveness

in our own life.

If I forgive someone, don't use that against them later on.

Don't make them work for it.

If you forgive them, forgive them.

Let your yes be yes and let your no be no.

Biblically speaking, if you extend forgiveness, make it forgiveness,

make it final.

And then again, if they come back and sin again, what does Jesus

say to do?

Repeat the process?

And that's, and I, I think that's biblical forgiveness when

it comes to the, the, the Scriptures.

I, I know that there's a lot of people that teach different things

about that.

I know that there are some people that say you have to forgive

no matter what.

I just.

The reason why I don't say that is because I don't see God doing

that when it comes to those that have sinned against him.

I, I don't see God looking at everybody.

We don't believe in what's called universalism.

Universalism is a teaching out there that says this, that God loves

everyone so much that he sent his only begotten Son and that he's

just gonna save everyone in this world.

But the Bible never teaches that.

The Bible says that there's one way to heaven through Jesus Christ.

And so I don't believe that God forgives universally.

And I think that that's an example for us, that we don't just

sit and go, well, guess I just had to forgive everyone that wrongs

me?

No.

But I do believe that we have to extend forbearance, just as God

has extended the gift to all.

I believe that when Jesus came to this earth and died on the cross,

the gift of grace is extended to all, all nations, all tribes,

all.

All.

All languages.

And that extension of grace is for all.

And it's those who receive it and come to repentance.

And I think that's the same thing for us when we, we extend the

gift of grace.

We extend the gift of forbearance to someone and say, hey,

it's there for you.

But if they don't receive that, if they don't come to that

in repentance, then we continue on in patience and forbearance.

And just as God is patient, I've heard some people say, why doesn't

God just come back?

Now?

Look at this world.

Look at all those people that are out there.

Look at all the evil that they are committing against the things

of God.

Why doesn't God just come back?

Why didn't he come back a thousand years ago?

And the only answer, the only biblical answer that I can give is

that he's patient.

He's wanting more to come to him.

Now, when is that going to run out?

I don't know.

And that's not my job to know.

And God knows, and God knows when that's over.

But at the end of the day, for me, all I have to say is that God

has extended extreme patience with this world.

And, and so therefore, I think that we have to do the same thing.

Extreme patience.

And, and, and I, and I know that's not fun.

I, I don't, I don't, I don't get thrilled about being patient

with people.

I'm actually very impatient.

Come on, let's go.

But the truth is, is that if we are walking in the spirit, okay,

this is, this is not Pastor Josh's opinion.

One of the, one of the elements of the fruit of the Spirit

is this word.

I like it.

In the King James, long suffering.

We have to be long suffering in our patience.

And, and, and so, like, that's the idea of forgiveness is, is just

being patient with him.

So I could give you.

I mean, I, I could.

The thing, the danger would be is me just sitting up here and giving

examples of things that might happen, things that didn't happen.

I mean, for, for example, I, I'll give one, I'll give one example.

Let's say someone, you know, they.

Well, I can, I can give you an Example?

I.

I will give you an example of my own life.

How about that?

I'll give you that example of my own life.

Um, so some of, you know, I think it was, like, two years ago.

It was on, like, right before the 4th of July.

We got in a car accident, and this young man ran through a stop

sign, hit us, and flipped our car and drove.

He tried to drive away, and his car was pretty much messed up.

So I get out of the car, and I'm, like, really disoriented and

got the kids out.

So at that time, it was Mike and Nora, and I got helped the leash

out because all their doors were, like, smashed in, and we were,

like, on the side.

Anyway, I get out, and I'm, like, really disoriented.

And Alicia goes.

They left.

They ran.

And I'm like, oh, man.

And I'm like, just be honest.

In that moment, I'm not.

I'm not filled with the spirit.

I wasn't filled with the grace.

I was filled with.

I need to find this guy that just ran the stop sign.

He almost killed my family.

I need to tell him that he's wrong, right?

So I find him.

And I said, yeah, you.

And they, like, got out of their car, and they were, like, looking

like they were going to run.

And I'm like, where are you going?

And I'm like, you better not go anywhere.

I'm like, the police have to come.

And.

And he was like, well, how can I go anywhere?

Look at my car.

And in that moment, I.

I did not have the spirit of forgiveness.

Okay, I'll just be honest with you.

I.

I just was not ready to forgive.

It was a young man that was being, you know.

You know, irresponsible on the road and just ran through a stop

sign.

And I gave him the dad's speech of, like, how he could have

killed a whole family out there because of his sink.

And at the end of the.

At the end of the night, I remember saying, you know, and then

I.

I cooled down.

Cooler heads prevailed, and it was like, okay.

Like, it's okay, you know, But I didn't walk up to him and just

say, like, it's okay.

You didn't do.

But at the end of the day, he was, like, blaming it on me.

He was.

He was talking to the police officers, and he was saying, yeah,

he was just.

He, like, sped through that.

That stop sign.

I'm like, well, first of all, I don't have a stop sign on my side.

You had a stop sign.

There was.

And the police Officer pulled me aside, and he goes, hey, look.

Very evident what happened.

We know what happened.

You can just relax.

Nothing's, you know, but, you know, if that, if he would have come

back and said, you know what?

I'm really sorry, and it was humble, I'd be like, hey, it's all

good, you know?

But at the end of the day, he was still blaming me before we left,

and he was telling.

And so I had the forbearance as I cooled down to say, okay, let's

see what he says.

And I went up and say, how's everything going?

Are you guys okay?

And at the end of the day, it was like, no, there's no repentance.

So I don't feel like as a.

As a person, I need to go up to him and say, it's okay that you

did that.

I condone you're wrong.

But the forbearance was there, and there was an opportunity for

restoration.

Right?

And that's the same thing on a.

On a more difficult scale.

Let's say there's been someone in your life that has, like, harmed

you or wronged you.

Um, and I think that there's this prevailing thing that within

churches, it's like, well, I have to just let go of what they

did to me.

But the truth is, is that I think that just as Jesus called out

the wrongdoing and sin, we can do the same thing.

So this is forgiveness.

And forbearance is not a condoning of sin.

It's not an overlooking of sin.

It's not an acceptance of sin.

We can still call out sin for what it is.

But when the individual comes in brokenness and humility and says,

you know what?

I am sorry, I think that we have to reciprocate in the same way

that God reciprocates in his forgiveness.

And so I hope that makes more sense when it comes to forgiveness.

Because I've heard preachers get up and say, I don't care what

that person does to you, you gotta just keep forgiving them.

And that's.

I.

I believe that is a.

A misnomer to the place where people are set up for more abuse.

And I.

I don't think you have to be abused in certain situations.

I think that we can put our foot down and.

And say, no, that is wrong, and we don't condone that.

But I do believe that the biblical teaching according to Scripture,

is that forbearance must be extended.

So it's not forgive and forget.

But what I would say it's it's forgive and release.

It's, it's forgive and extend grace.

It's forgive and restore.

Um, it's forgive and be patient.

And I think that's more of a realistic biblical approach to when

we get to this idea of forgiveness.

And so to sum it all up, it's just understanding what Christ did

for us and this understanding how we are interacting with God after

our forgiveness.

And, and in our forgiveness, there's that restorative element

to it.

So I, I, I think that, I think that for me, one of the issues that

I might have is just, you know, not pursuing it.

One, one of, one of the things that I have been good at in my life

is that if someone has wronged me, I, I'm not really tempted to

go back and wrong them, but I'm just really good at just kind

of avoiding the situation and just being like, well, that person's

gonna have to come back.

But, but I, I think that biblically speaking, as God pursues

us in conviction, I think so we should also pursue others that

maybe have fallen and, and encourage them.

And not that we're the Holy Spirit, not that the, we're the ones

doing the conviction, but I think the example would be that we

care about people enough to get them to a place of restoration.

Now, will restoration happen every time?

No.

That's why, no, not everyone's going to be saved.

Not everyone that has walked this earth is going to heaven because

some are not willing for that restoration.

Some are not willing to come in humility and repentance.

But, but looking at our personal lives, what I would say

is this, when we go back to, because a lot of times we're thinking

about us being the forgivers, right?

I, I know, like, when I look at Scripture, I don't ever see myself

as the Pharisee.

I always see myself as like the disciple.

Sometimes we should see ourselves as the Pharisee and understand

some conviction.

So a lot of times when we're talking about this topic of forgiveness,

we're always thinking about like, well, I'm forgiving someone

who has wronged me, but what about when I have wronged?

What about when I have sinned?

And I think it's so important to understand those three C's of

what's condemnation.

An unsaved person is condemned before the eyes of God, but a saved

person is no longer condemned.

A saved person is convicted to come to a place of confession before

God, to come to a place of restoration with God.

Um, and there's that there's repentance in that confession.

And so I think one of the things that's lacking in American

churches is, is repentance.

I think repentance is not highlighted enough.

We want revival.

You'll see tent revivals.

You'll see special revival services.

I'm going to tell you something, and I think I can be pretty

strong on this statement.

There is not going to be revival without repentance, because

repentance is brokenness over my sin, agreement with God that my

sin is wrong and I need to turn.

Repentance literally means to turn from.

And to turn to something else.

It's turning away from anything and turning to God.

And if we want revival, if we want restoration, if we want renewal,

if we want revitalization within the church, it starts with

repentance because that's, that's where we.

We must be broken over our sin.

The problem with our world today is that there isn't brokenness

over sin.

There's like, we wink at sin.

We go, oh, I made a mistake.

You know, aren't we all humans?

We are.

We are all humans and we all sin.

But that doesn't cheapen what it is and how broken we should be

over it.

And so it's not just giving in to the sin and saying, well, it's

okay, you know what?

That's.

You're just human.

It's understanding that that sin is what nailed my Savior to the

cross, but yet he still forgave.

And, and if we understand it from that depth, then we're able

to say, like, well, I can forgive someone who, who slighted

me.

And, and that's the, that's that perfect example of that, that

parable in Matthew, chapter 18.

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

So I hope that that gives you a little bit more clarity in the

area of forgiveness.

There's a.

There's a couple books that if you're still struggling with that

area of forgiveness and you want to come talk to me about some

resources, I have a few different resources that I would

like to point you to that, that extend more into that area of

forgiveness.

And again, I think that that's something that we can all talk about.

But is it easy?

No, it would not be easy.

It's not.

You know, I, I can't give you the specific example because it's

too fresh, but there was a situation with, with one of my children.

And, you know, when someone wrongs you, it's one thing, but when,

if it's your child, like, I'm like, where did that come from?

Okay.

And I, I'm.

I'm Usually a Pretty.

Pretty, like, put together.

Like, I'm always like, all right, cooler heads prevail.

But something happened with one of my children.

Someone else did something to one of my children.

And it was like this.

I don't know who that was came up, and I'm like, where did that

come from?

And I was ready to go, and I had to.

And.

And you know who.

You know who actually brought me back to a place of, like, sanity?

Well, I wish I could say it was the Holy Spirit's conviction.

It was the Holy Spirit's conviction after the child who was

wronged told me, dad, it's okay.

It's no big deal.

I'm okay.

And I was like, man, that convicted me so much, and I'm like,

okay.

And I.

I.

And.

And thankfully, I didn't do anything that harmed my testimony.

I was ready to go.

And.

And.

And, you know, they were like, okay, dad.

And I realized.

And it, like, the Lord spoke to me too.

And then it's like, you know, it's okay.

It doesn't matter.

And I think so many times, the enemy, who.

Who we're gonna talk about later on in this study, the enemy

knows where to push our buttons, right?

And then that's where we can get back to that place of, like,

well, I'm not gonna forgive.

I'm gonna get even with that.

And.

And we have to make sure that we are ready and prepared in the

fruit of the spirit and the armor of God to.

I.

I think of it as, like, a fiery dart.

And that's what the Bible says.

The Bible says that Satan is.

Is firing those fiery darts at us, and he.

He wants to just get through those little cracks.

And when he gets through that little crack, he's got us.

And we want to make sure that we fight.

We fight against that with the things of God and the word of God.

All right, well, I'm gonna give you a little preview for next

week.

Speaking of the enemy, I had a question that came in that specifically

talked about, what does the Bible say about Satan?

And, you know, you don't hear a lot about Satan within the church.

Sometimes we're, like, afraid to say the name or we're afraid to

talk about it.

But I think it is wise to know who we're fighting against, to know

our enemy now.

Now, we do know that our flesh is.

Is a big enemy that we fight against ourselves.

Like, I think we give Satan a lot of credit for the things that

our flesh does in our life, but we do need to know who Our enemy

is.

The Bible does call Satan our enemy.

And so there's a lot out there today about the devil, Satan, and,

and maybe movies have portrayed him or TV shows have portrayed

him in a certain way.

I want to show you from the Bible what the Bible says about Satan.

Okay, who he is, what, what he's capable of, what he's not capable

of.

Because one of the questions might be, well, is God and Satan

kind of like the, the good and evil equal, you know?

No, we're going to talk about how Satan is actually a creation.

God is not created.

Satan is a creation.

And, and there are limitations to that creation.

And we're going to talk about our enemy.

Like, just like any good team, like, you know, or, or any good soldier,

when you go to battle or you go to the competition, you need to

know who your enemy is.

You need to know how to fight against them.

You need to be prepared.

You need to know your side of things, but you need to know how

the enemy is going to attack.

And so I think what we're going to talk about next week will

be biblically, who, who is our enemy and how we can fight against

him.

And that might be like a two, three part series kind of dealing

with that, because we do, we do need to know who our enemy is,

but we also need to know who our Savior is.

And we need to know how our Savior has given us the tools to

fight against the enemy.

But what I will say that a lot of times we give more credit to the

enemy than we should, and much of our struggles are because our

flesh and our desire.

Um, but we'll kind of try to separate the two and explain that

to you.

So anyway, if you want to come back and study that, that would be,

that would be great.

We have a lot more questions that have come in and I will try

to address them as quickly as I can.

But if there are more questions, please, please ask because

I, I know that you, you are used to.

If you've been here.

I've.

I've been here for not a decade yet, but it's getting close.

I, I am predominantly 99.999% an expository preacher, meaning I

like to preach through books of the Bible.

But I do believe that there's a time and a place to answer questions.

And, you know, I would love to have a coffee with you or tea or

sit over a meal and have these discussions, but sometimes we just

don't have the time to do that.

But what we can do is ask them here, and I can try to address them

in the best way that I can, so hope that that's helpful for you.

I will say this, if there's anybody ever that's a spiritual guide

in your life or someone that you see within a spiritual authority

and they don't want you to ask questions, that's a big red flag.

Okay?

Ask questions.

You should want to ask questions and you should receive

answers the best that you can.

And that's an important thing to do.

Thank you again for listening to the Middletown Baptist Church

podcast.

I hope that this sermon has been a blessing for you.

If you would like to find out more information about our church

or this sermon, you can find us at middletownbaptistchurch.org

or find us on Facebook or YouTube.

You can also email me directly at Josh Massaro Middletown BaptistChurch.com

if you've enjoyed this podcast.

Please subscribe and follow along for future podcast and updates.

Thank you so much.

God bless.

Have a wonderful day.