2024-03-27_Wednesday Service: Uplifted Kingdom Blueprint for Families. By PBC Family Pastor, Pst. Phelista Kamau

So today I want to draw our thoughts to the family.

So please hold tight, even as you look at the theme of the month Open doors designed and the hashtag uplifted kingdom blueprint.

So, because of our docket of family, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity, because the Bible says that we must take advantage of every time, every opportunity that is presented to us.

So I've taken this opportunity so that I can speak on the topic Uplifted Kingdom Blueprint for Families Amen.

So today I'll be speaking to the families Parklands Baptist Church families and even families beyond, who are listening to us tonight Amen, amen.

So you, because we are speaking to the nations, you are my amen.

So you're the one who will be cheering me, you're the one who will be, you know, charging us on so that those online can feel that we are together.

Amen, kwaipo, please, I want you to come alive up there.

I want us to be alive, even as we listen to this message.

Now, when you look at open door designs, that particular theme, just the word open door, open door design it brings a message of hope.

There is hope for the family.

You know, as a family pastor, sometimes I see things, I hear things, I read things, I watch things and I wonder what is the future for families.

But when I look at this theme open door designs it means that there is hope for families.

As we agree to have a family conversation, as we agree to engage on matters family, as we agree to stand in the gap for families, I want to tell you that there is an open door.

I want to tell you that there is an open heaven.

If there is a time that God has set an open heaven for your life and for your family, it is this season.

This is not the season to give up.

This is not the season to quit on your family, especially now that we are celebrating the death and resurrection of Christ.

I know that it is possible that there are many dead things in your family.

It is possible that you have given up on your family.

You have looked at your wife, looked at your husband, looked at the children and you have said I don't know if I can make it, but this week, especially because of the topic we are discussing here uplifted kingdom blueprint for families I want to bring to us a word of encouragement.

I want to tell you, saints, that as you connect to Parklands Baptist Church, as you connect to the programs.

Let me tell you, every day you wake up in this church, people are praying.

Every day you wake up in this church I don't know if you take time to go online.

Sometimes I just go online to see what is happening the services, the commissioning.

Every day there's something that's going on.

I think all of us are in a hundred WhatsApp and in all those hundred WhatsApp, you know, the beauty with Parklands Baptist Church is that we are so busy, we are so engaged we don't even have time to post other people's things on our pages.

You know, sometimes people will share with you this, share with you the other, and you are thinking when are we going to go there?

Because we are so engaged.

And so what I want to ask us and to challenge us tonight is please connect to Paki, connect to our Bible study, connect to something that's happening in the church, and I believe that, as you do that, the Lord will strengthen your family, and I believe that as you do that, the Lord will strengthen your family.

So, as I look at this verse Revelation 4.1, which is our theme the Bible says come up, come up higher.

I like that message, bible, when they were reading it here.

When Petu was reading it, I wondered who wrote that Bible.

Your Bible is not good.

The Greek and the Hebrew of this version I like it, but I'm like that particular verse.

I think I had not seen it that way.

Revelation 4 says come up here, come up here.

This is an invitation, an invitation, an invitation to you to connect to the master, an invitation for you.

You know, when it says come up here, it means that if you don't take charge of things, if you don't look up, if you don't lift up your eyes, if you don't connect with God in this season, by the way, I've been telling people that I really feel for that family, I really feel for that person who will be in this season.

By the way, I've been telling people that I really feel for that family, I really feel for that person who will be in this year of the Lord's uplifted open door and they will miss their door Because they were not intentional enough.

If you look at the theme that I'm talking about, the topic I'm talking about today uplifted Uplifted that means it's a high door, that means it has some demands.

It's not the kind of door you just enter when you're an attacker.

You know there are some doors you can enter when you're an attacker, but when the door is uplifted, you have to enter in style, you have to prepare yourself, you have to make the preparation and wait for the opportunity for the door.

You don't just sit.

It's an uplifted door.

This means that you yourself are the one who is going to prepare themselves for the door that the Lord will open.

You know what we are doing here as pastors, what we are doing here as leaders, is just to prepare a table for you, is to try to help you in your preparation.

But when your door will come, when your opportunity will come, it is you yourself who will hear the voice of the master calling you and telling you come up here, come up, come up higher, come up here where he can begin to talk to you concerning your own open door.

This means that this year will make some demands on you.

This year you can make some demands concerning your family.

If you look at the word kingdom, what is kingdom?

Kingdom has to do with God's rule, god's governance.

Kingdom has to do with establishment of what God wants to do for you, for your family, in your family.

Kingdom has to do with God himself entering your family, becoming the center of your family.

So when we are talking about uplifted kingdom, we are saying that you step up higher and then you allow God in to do what he wants to do in your family.

And the last part blueprints.

What blueprint means is that it means that you know.

Blueprint has to do with design.

It has to do with for those who are good in building or those who are engaged in big building.

Blueprint means this is the thing we hope to build here.

This is the pattern we hope to follow.

This is the roadmap we will follow.

So blueprints in regards to families means God's design for your family, that your family will look like its owner.

And who is the owner of families?

The owner of families is God.

When God started the first family in the Garden of Eden, he had a wonderful plan.

He had a good plan for that family.

In fact, the word to them was be fruitful and multiply.

God looked at that family and loved that family and he had great expectations for them.

So when we talk about uplifted kingdom blueprint for families, we are talking about God's design, god's desire, god's purpose for families, that our families.

It means that we who are calling ourselves Christian families will accept will begin to navigate conversations At the dinner table in the morning, when people are rushing breakfast, showering, looking for socks, looking for shoes, that we will begin to mentor until Jesus comes.

Do you know, in the Hebrew culture the scriptures were not always taught by the father standing and reading, even though that was part of it.

Scriptures were taught to the children every time, when they are sitting, when they are standing, when they are walking.

We call that looking for teachable moments that you can teach your family.

Teachable moments that you can engage the family, teachable moments that you can engage the family.

Sometimes it will be through a question when somebody will ask Mom, is it okay to do this?

Mom, is it okay?

There is this child in school who did this.

Mom, what do you think?

You will drop everything and pay attention to that child.

Sometimes it is adult conversations, sometimes it will be talking about sex.

Right now.

That's a big issue that we need to engage.

This holiday, when they come home, that is the first conversation we are going to have.

I don't know, but the issue is engaging, accepting to engage.

So I want to present to us three marks, three marks of an uplifted kingdom blueprint in the family, a family that will look like God, a family that will begin to navigate.

You know, by the way, as I'm starting this conversation, you may be here and you may be saying Pastor, my family, hey, my family is remotely related to God.

It is okay, we have to start somewhere.

All of us must start somewhere.

It is a journey.

I learned that when somebody says I want to share my journey, be ready to hear painful things, defeat failure, but also be ready to hear hope when God visited them and turned circumstances around.

When God visited them and turned circumstances around, the first mark I want to present to us of uplifted kingdom blueprint family is the mark of salvation, that people in the family are genuinely born again and they have Jesus.

Let me tell you this that when you're looking at uplifted kingdom blueprints, especially in the area of salvation, one of the things we must drop is what I am calling operation beyond my personal savior.

For a long time, we have said Jesus is my personal savior.

You are the only one in your family who has Jesus as their personal savior.

One of the things I learned early is that the best person to win their family to Christ is a new believer, because if you look at your phone today and look at the numbers, phone numbers you have in your phone, some of us will begin to realize that we have no non-believer as a close friend, that if today I had some money and I wanted to take someone out for dinner or for coffee, a non-believer, I will be looking at that non-believer Because maybe the only non-believers in your phone are the guy who sells mboga to you, the other one who does this for you, the other one who does this for you.

We do not have genuine friendships, and the reason for this is because when we become born again and we join church very quickly we drop our unsaved friends.

I think this is a culture that was brought I don't know from where, because it's not a God culture, because God culture is and I was looking at the story of Peter, that in John 1, 42 to 44, when Andrew met Jesus, when Andrew met Jesus, when Andrew encountered Jesus, the next thing he did is he ran and brought his brother Peter.

What if Andrew had not brought Peter?

What if Andrew had not asked his brother come and see this guy I met the other day.

He was talking a lot, he was like he didn't know what he was saying and Peter had not come.

You know what Peter is or who Peter is in the church.

God's plan for salvation is that salvation is for the whole family.

Actually, if you read Acts 16 31, it says that salvation has come to you and your households.

And I know today that we did pray about our members, members of our family who are born again, who needs to be saved.

Today we talked about family members, brothers and sisters, who need to be born again.

If you look at Acts 16, 25 to 34, you know the story concerning the jailer, the Roman jailer.

So I will go very fast because I've been given only 30 minutes by Pastor Regan.

Pastor Regan does not know that in family ministry we do two hours.

We have conversations that go two hours.

Sometimes our conversations can go up to midnight, cindy or Sophie.

Our conversations sometimes can just go on and on.

As long as the spirit is moving, we continue.

But I know today there is tea and also there is a birthday cake.

But if you look at the story of the this story in Acts 16, you know we love this song, but basically what they did is they were singing and praising.

So when the jailer thought that the men had escaped because the angel of the Lord had come in response to that kind of spontaneous praise.

So it's not just about praying, but it's about praying strategically until God comes and breaks the chains of that sibling, that parent, that child who is not hearing.

And when the angel of God came and set this man free, the jailer almost killed himself.

But this man of God, paul and Silas, they said no, we are here, don't do this.

I love the question in verse 30.

It says this man says after he had seen them, he says what must I do to be saved?

We must pray for our relatives and our loved ones until they come to this point where they are saying mom, what can I do to be saved?

And at that point look at these men of God.

They have an answer.

They say believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, you will be saved, you and your household.

We need to start making demand for their salvation and we need to go beyond prayer.

We must present the gospel to Jesus, to our loved ones.

We must present the gospel.

One of the things I ones, we must present the gospel.

One of the things I learned one time is that the reason many of them are not born again.

No one has asked them to receive Jesus in their lives.

And I remember one time going through a training where they said that many people have not been asked.

But how can they hear, how can they respond, unless they've been asked, been asked?

But how can they hear, how can they respond, unless they've been asked?

And on that day we were released to go to the streets and ask people to receive Jesus.

Just ask them would you like to receive Jesus?

And you can imagine the look on people's face when someone comes to you directly and asks you would you like to receive Jesus, would you love to receive Jesus as your personal savior?

And as they were stammering at the directness of the question, and as we were engaging them and asking them what is the reason why you have not given your life to Jesus, believe you me that many received Jesus.

One day I asked some ladies have you ministered Jesus to your children?

Have you led your children to the Lord?

And one of them, a woman of God, was not sure if she had led them, was not sure if they were born again.

Let me tell you, you cannot be sure your child is born again unless you have led them to the Lord yourself.

And I remember her that week going home and when she was dropping her six-year-old to school, asked the girl, would you like to receive Jesus?

And the little girl said yes, mom, I want to receive Jesus.

And right there in the car they prayed the sinner's prayer and later that day the lady told me I am waiting for my two girls in boarding twins.

I'm waiting for them when they come home for the holidays.

I will lead them to Jesus.

Let me present to us that the primary responsibility of leading a child to Jesus belongs to the parents.

It is the context of that scripture which says train a child in the way he should go.

It's the context of family and as you disciple your child and share the word of God to the child, then that child will not depart from it.

Let me tell you, the child will be tested.

The child will come home some days with some behavior, some questions that you will wonder.

I thought you were born again.

But the scripture promises us, because God is a God who preserves.

He says that they will not depart from it.

The primary responsibility of leading a child to Christ belongs to the parent.

What we do in church is we help you.

We help you because some of the children may come from unchurched family or unsaved families.

Because of that and because of the Great Commission, we help.

My prayer for us today is that when we go home today and this holiday, that we will check, we will be on the lookout, we will check, we will talk to our children concerning their relationship with the Lord.

I also want to say that I also want to talk about the fact that salvation.

You know, I don't know who preached to us that it is women.

It is women who should be serious about their salvation.

I don't know who talked to us that it is mothers who should be talking to people about salvation.

And let me say that I am not complaining Because if you look at the book of Proverbs, both father and mother are engaged.

The son is told do not forget your mother's teaching, do not forget her instructions.

You know how much we give instruction.

We give instruction the whole day.

We give every day.

We are talking, we, we are talking about God, we are talking about this, we are warning them about this and the other, but let me tell you, it is their father's word that counts at the end of the day.

If you look at Acts 16, it is the Roman jailer.

When he knelt down and came to the Lord, his whole family came to the Lord.

Acts 10, the story of Cornelius.

When the Lord wanted the gospel to move, the first move from Jerusalem, judea, samaria to the Gentiles, he chose a man.

I think if he had chosen a woman there could have been contention.

People would have said that that woman is so emotional.

That woman is an intercessor.

We don't know what's up with her.

So the Lord chose a man, a man by the name Cornelius.

It's in Acts 10.

And this man, an angel of the Lord, appeared to him.

Already we can tell that there was something that was going on in his heart.

God was already doing something in the heart of this Gentile, and all he needed was instruction.

I believe that God is doing so much in the hearts of men in this season, more than ever before.

More men are beginning to be interested in the things of God, more men are beginning to inquire.

More men, a lot of men, were shaken during COVID.

They were shaken.

Careers were shaken, jobs were shaken, families were shaken, and that type of shaking made men to be more curious about the things of God.

And this man when he was curious.

You know, the challenge is what you're doing about your curiosity.

Because this man, when he was curious and he began to do good things, he began to think how can I connect to God?

And maybe he began walking around, walking the areas of the temple, maybe he began to walk around and see the areas of where people are praying and worshiping and he began to see they were doing good.

And this man began to do good.

This man decided that I will not only be pushing my family to these things, even myself I will start doing them.

And one day, his commitment, what he was doing, got heaven's attention.

Let me tell you, this is a good place to be in, where heaven begins to notice you.

And how did heaven notice this man?

He began to give gifts to the poor and then he began to pray in his own way.

He began to pray.

What we know is that he was praying to the God of heaven, because it is the God of heaven who answered.

And when God saw this man, he gave instruction.

Sometimes men receive instruction, but they don't follow through with the instruction.

Sometimes the instruction is that you need to shift, you need to go and see your pastor.

You need to go and link up with other men, other Christian men.

You need to connect with other Christian men.

You need to connect.

Maybe it's an advertisement for a Bible study and you have seen that advertisement for yourself and then you have said, oh, maybe I could join that one.

But then it just becomes a desire not actualized.

But when the angel of the Lord spoke to Cornelius, Cornelius did something, because the man was told send for this man.

There was an instruction and this man went and, to cut the whole story short, peter came to his house and when Peter came to his house, the man had gathered Look at this man, a Gentile.

He had gathered everyone into his house.

He had gathered his family, his wife, his children, relatives, all the servants and even soldiers that were under his church, and that means that day, all those who came into his house.

They heard the gospel.

What would happen if a man decided to open his house this Easter?

Because this Easter is a time of celebration.

We are going to host people, we are going to host families, we will visit friends.

I already have an invitation.

I was going to invite my sister's family to come to my place.

Just when the word was out, she said no, no, no, no, you are the one who is going to come to my place.

You are you, and already, very quickly.

I mean, what if the man of the house decided that when everybody has come, that we are going to hear the word of God and that there will be a call for salvation?

As I say this, I am challenging a man, because when a man turns to the Lord, like Cornelius and the jailer, the whole family received Jesus day one, the whole the same day.

Actually, in Cornelius' house they not only received Jesus, but they also got filled with the Holy Spirit.

That's how much God will do if men stand up.

One of the instructions in the Bible was that three times a year men would appear before God.

These men were fathers, brothers, grandfathers, sons.

Why were they to appear before God?

For instruction.

Because if a man is not receiving his instruction from the Lord that man will lead families, and his instruction from the Lord that man will lead families and generations away from the Lord.

I don't know why he did not require them to appear every day.

It seems that women are easier to appear every day.

Maybe men are busy.

So three times a year is enough.

Let me move on to the second mark of a kingdom uplifted kingdom blueprint family.

The second mark is the mark of the Spirit, and here we are talking about operation.

Beyond speaking in tongues.

Let me tell you it's very easy to speak in tongues but not to manifest the Spirit in the family.

Do you know, when you are dealing with family members?

Our brother there talked about how hard it is to forgive siblings, forgive parents, because when you are in that kind of environment, what is in you comes out.

You could be very good in the closet, speaking in tongues, you could be very good wherever you are, but when you are dealing with this family, they are the ones who know how to rub you the wrong way.

Two things I want to say about the Holy Spirit in the family.

By the way, it's very easy to speak about the Holy Spirit in the church.

Right now I could be doing an exposition of 1 Corinthians 12.

The gifts of the Spirit like this, and there would be excitement.

What is the role of the Holy Spirit in the family, in the home?

The role of the Holy Spirit in the home?

The first one is to hold back, restrain us, to restrain us of the Holy Spirit in the home.

The first one is to hold back, restrain us, to restrain us.

If the Holy Spirit is not restraining people in your home, people can kill one another, they can fight one another.

You can see a brother who is a leader serving and he can kick someone out, but because the Holy Spirit is a restrainer, he restrains.

Well, the Holy Spirit is.

Evil cannot happen, evil is restrained, evil is pushed back.

So just the fact that in that family there are people who are filled with the Holy Spirit is a very good sign and a very good preservation for the family.

The other one is that the Holy Spirit is a helper.

John 14, 26.

The Bible says that when the Spirit will come, the Holy Spirit, the comforter, the comforter.

The other day we learned a Greek word here paraclete.

The Holy Spirit is a helper.

That means he's a counselor, helper, intercessor, advocate, strengthener, one who stands by, one who comes alongside to help.

I don't know One who comes alongside to help I don't know what families who do not have the Holy Spirit, who do not have believers, who are now not only saved but they also have the Holy Spirit.

I don't know how they are doing.

I don't know how they are coping Because the stress against families today is so real, it is so true.

So the Bible says that the Holy Spirit, but the comforter, who is the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, in my place, in the place of Jesus?

Jesus knew that he's going to heaven when he was saying these things.

He knew that in a few days time I'll be going.

So he said, but the Holy Spirit, who is the comforter, will be here.

Friends, I want to tell us that since Jesus ascended, the Holy Spirit is still here.

The Holy Spirit was outpoured to the church without measure.

So the mark of the Spirit.

If you look at Galatians 5, there is a contrast A family that has the Holy Spirit and a family that does not have the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5, 1821, and I want to go very fast because of time Galatians 5, 1821, talks about the mark of a family that does not have the Spirit.

What is the mark of the family without the Spirit?

Does not have the Spirit.

What is the mark of the family without the Spirit?

If I can go to the Message Bible, because it looks very, very revolutionary, it says it is obvious.

In fact it starts with it is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way.

If the Holy Spirit is not in your home, you will try to get your own way.

If the Holy Spirit is not in your home, you will try to get your own way.

Everyone will be trying to get your own way.

One of my friends who was with me in a space when I was younger in the ministry, told me this problem when you have a wife who is not filled with the Holy Spirit and everyone in the house is trying to get their own way.

He told me that they will have a discussion about buying a TV and on the day he buys the TV he will find her entering the door with a TV, each one trying to get their own way.

So the children are trying to get their own way.

The husband is trying to get.

Everyone is trying to get their own way.

So the children are trying to get their own way.

The husband is trying to get.

Everyone is trying to get their own way.

The message Bible says repetitive.

So where the King James Version NIV and the others say the works of the flesh are evident, this is how the Bible breaks it down, to say that they are obvious.

They are obvious Meaning that just a visit to your family, hanging out with your family, someone can tell what spirit is operating here.

But the Bible challenges us that we push, we kick out.

By the way, this is a good season to kick out what is not working, kick out what is pulling you down.

Decide this is what we need to stop to do.

This is the things we need to live.

The Bible says that the fruit of the Spirit are also obvious.

They are obvious.

When the Bible says something is obvious, it means it's not a mystery, it doesn't need revelation.

It doesn't need revelation, it doesn't need discernment, it doesn't need interpretation, it doesn't need a prophet, it doesn't need any of those things.

The fruit of the Spirit is obvious.

What is the fruit of the Spirit?

It is love, joy, peace, long-suffering.

Galatians 5, 22 to 26.

You have this.

But what happens when we live God's way?

The spirit-led family?

What happens when we live God's way?

When we live God's way, he brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard.

So what are these things that the Spirit of God will bring?

Love, what is love?

Affection, affection for one another, affection for one another in the family, a willingness to stick together through thick and thin, a willingness to stay, stay until the problem thin.

A willingness to stay, stay until the problem ends.

A willingness, a sense of compassion.

A sense of compassion when you say that even though today I don't feel like I really love you no, I really like you, I still love you.

You know, love is a choice.

Love is a command.

Liking is a choice.

So your husband's commanded to love your wife.

You're commanded.

Pastor Regan is a command.

You're commanded.

You are commanded to love your wife.

You are not commanded to like her because maybe today she is doing something and she is not likable.

So God understands that today you are not liking her, but you don't have an option as far as love is concerned, especially agape love, because agape love is love that seeks the highest good, love that seeks the highest good, love that seeks the highest good of the other person.

So the mark of the spirit will help us keep that kind of love, love that seeks the highest good.

One of the things about the love that seeks the highest good of that person is that that kind of love can be tough, that kind of love can be gentle, that kind of love can be corrective, that kind of love.

By the way, let me tell you something, because so many people today are challenged with the issues of how do I know if this matter is a matter that needs deliverance.

Allow me to speak on this issue a bit, because there is a key that will unlock this thing in the family level.

How do I know that this child should be taken for prayers?

How do I know that this child should be taken to the other place for prayer?

By the way, don't waste your time.

One of the things that you need to do first, what cannot be corrected by discipline.

A lot of things in the children can be corrected by discipline.

A lot of things in the children can be corrected by discipline, just taking good old discipline authority.

What cannot be corrected by discipline and, by the way, discipline is not always spanking, because I love the Hebrew meaning of discipline.

Within the culture, the meaning of discipline is teaching, correcting.

So once they miss it, then you can discipline.

The African way is not discipline, that's punishment.

Many of us were punished for things we don't know what.

One day I was punished for saying my neighbor drinks.

It was so confusing to me Because I had seen her, literally Seen her.

She was an older woman and you know, those days when an older woman will be drinking, they will be walking and singing, singing a kikuyu song.

So me, I literally saw her with my own eyes.

So the next day, when somebody said do you know there was a drinking this juwapi?

Then the children began to name the parents.

Do you know there was a drinking this Yiyuapi?

Then the children began to name the parents who drink, so me, I added my list, I added to the list.

I said I saw her here.

Did you see her?

She was.

You know, I was so beaten.

I was so beaten, I was so confused, because I was in an age where I needed that explained to me what is wrong with what I have said.

But that is the African parent.

They spank you, they beat you without explanation and what I sense is that it is almost as if we stumble on things and correct things on the go.

They had not taken time to teach us.

We stumble on things and correct things on the go.

They had not taken time to teach us.

They had not taken time to say if you belong to this family, this is what you do.

We are a Christian family.

Maybe they had not taken time.

There was no investment and because of that, a lot of the beatings we received fall under the category of Hebrews 12, where the writer of Hebrews said that some of us, some of you, you are beaten by your fathers, and yet you took it in, even though you knew it was not correct.

You just took it in and said if you grow up, I will live.

How many of you hammered because of that?

Yeah, but the Hebrew way is different.

It's a trainer child.

Are you training?

Are you having those conversations?

Are you instilling in them the fear of God?

Are you instilling in them the fear of God's house?

Are you instilling in them honor?

Are you instilling them a the fear of God's house?

Are you instilling in them honor?

Are you instilling them a love for the word of God?

One of the things that has happened now with our young people and I'm also seeing it in the adult singles and in the women it's so beautiful that they are reading the scriptures.

As we speak now, this month of March, they have finished reading the New Testament.

They've been on the go nine chapters every day.

Very soon they'll be doing the Old Testament, seven chapters every day, this kind of parent who is so committed doing that when your child sees you running, stopping watching TV, stopping the other things you do so that you can finish your chapters, the love for the Word of God will also enter their lives.

The last mark I want to put to place to us is the mark of forgiveness.

So these marks are marks of identity, they are the marks that identify the Christian family, the mark of forgiveness.

I'm calling this operation, beyond quitting that we don't quit, we don't quit family, we don't quit children.

Operation beyond quitting that we don't quit, we don't quit family, we don't quit children.

Operation beyond quitting, the mark of forgiveness the Christian family must be characterized by forgiveness.

The brother who led prayers when I came in I was like this man was in the spirit Because, as he was handling the issue of forgiveness, I believe that the Holy Spirit brought family members whom you needed to forgive.

It's easy to forgive people out there, but sometimes family members can be a challenge and I want to share a story, and the story is a story I picked.

I read a couple of years ago from a book called Forgive and Forget Healing the hearts we don't deserve.

You can write that title and find it on Amazon by a man by the name Lewis B Smidis.

This man writes a story concerning a Jewish man.

And this man, you know, an ordinary Jewish man, a good Jewish man who knew the law, reading the scriptures, reciting them, doing his best to live like a good man in the society.

And one day he came home and he found his wife in a compromised situation.

In fact, the situation he found his wife that day was the kind that if Jesus was there in the flesh, he could have said this is what the law says concerning this thing.

But because Jesus was not there, he didn't know what to do and the man thought to himself maybe I should run and tell the rabbi.

But then he realized that it will be so embarrassing.

I don't know how this thing happens.

I don't know how these things happen Because if it was a woman, this matter would have been handled differently.

If the woman had found the man, the matter would have been different.

But because it is the man, it hurt deeply, it cut deeply, and this man wondered what he will do.

And his emotions, the emotions he had that day?

They began with shock, then rage, then anger, then disappointment, and he could not understand why his wife, whom he had paid such a high dowry for probably he had paid 10 cows, if not more could do this thing.

And the weight of this matter, this matter became weighty.

He wondered whom shall I tell?

If I tell the rabbi, the rabbi will think that I've not been teaching her the scriptures.

If I tell my parents, my parents, they will think that I don't have control over my wife and he could not afford to go to her parents, the in-laws, because they were prominent men in the society.

And if he tells his friends by the way, his best friend was the one he found there, so he could not even tell his best friend.

So if he tells their second best friend you know, everybody has a best friend then you have the other ones.

If he tells them, maybe they would laugh at him and think that he could not provide for the wife, or maybe he was not a man.

And so this issue began to weigh on him greatly.

Let me tell you, the pain was so great and as the pain continued every day, when he left home he would feel better because he doesn't have to see her the whole day, he would work and be engaged.

But when evening came, he's going to that same house and very soon he began to resent her.

But the more he resented her, the more his heart became heavy, because he was a good man, he was not those hardcore men who don't care, but this is a man who cared, and he genuinely cared for his wife.

But he became so heavy in his heart that as days turned into weeks, this thing was eating at him like a cancer.

It was so heavy that he began to bend and he began walking with a bend and those who knew him began to notice that the man has a bend and he was crying to God, god, what do I do?

What can I do?

I feel like I'm in a hole.

I can't even breathe.

And every day he saw the wife come, he resented her.

In fact he got to a point he stopped eating her food because he began to think Every time she brought food, you know, the wife was trying, the wife was trying to make things right.

The wife had tried to say sorry.

He didn't even want to hear sorry.

So she thought the other way I can try.

I hear they say the way to a man's heart is stomach.

So he was trying the stomach way, but the man would not.

He would turn the food and start to imagine the number of poisons she has put in that food so that he can die early and she gets married.

So things are so hard for him and one day, because of the cry he had in his heart this is a story, but this is a story the angel of the Lord appeared to him.

And the angel of the Lord let me not say the angel of the Lord, because when I say the angel of the Lord he looks like a higher.

It could be a theological discussion, so let me just say angel An angel appeared to him to discuss this issue that had put this man down.

And as they were discussing this issue, he explained to the angel his predicament and his anger.

For the first time he had somebody who could listen and he said everything he wanted to say concerning this situation.

And he said everything he wanted to say concerning this situation the wife, the dad and he wondered if there was any meaning to life or if he could be helped.

And the angel told him because of the intensity of this matter in your heart, it's going to take time.

This is not something I can remove one day.

It's going to take time and the angel recommended to this man that he must start seeing his wife with new eyes.

And what this man needed to do was to go to the day before all this trouble happened.

In fact, he was to go slightly ahead, to those good times when they were on holiday.

I don't know where they used to go to holiday I don't know if Galilee is a good place, I don't know if it has a beach where they could go for holiday but the angel began to tell him to go back to the good days.

The angel began to tell him to go back to the good days when he could come home on Shabbat and he would find that evening there is a meal, all those good things.

And the angel told him you must start to see her through new eyes.

I don't know if you've noticed that anytime you wear glasses, especially in our culture of wear shades, have you noticed that when you wear shades, life looks different?

Depending on the tint on your shades?

Life looks different.

You will notice that you begin if there is sun sunshine.

You wear shades on a shiny day.

There's just a way shades bring even.

You look even better, your smile looks better.

Have you seen people wearing shades, how they walk, they even now, even the way they dress.

They even dress differently.

So, the angel, that's what you're going to do.

You're going to get shades, new shades, shades of forgiveness, and every day, this man was supposed to look at his wife and appreciate something, and the angel told him that because this thing in your heart was like a cancer.

It was like as if there was a bottle inside with pebbles.

Every day, as you saw the bad things in her, it's like a pebble was being dropped there, that you are now entering a process of removing the pebbles.

And every day, as the man came and she had up to the wife, received the food and tried not to show that he thinks he can be killed, tried to say thank you, then the angel one pebble would be removed, one pebble would be removed.

To cut the long story short, at a point he was able to see the wife with the eyes of forgiveness, with the eyes of Jesus.

Many times, that is what families need to see one another through the eyes of Jesus.

Many times, that is what families need to see one another through the eyes of Jesus.

We are not saying that it is easy.

If you look at Matthew 18, 21 to 35, but I'll just read one verse.

Peter comes to Jesus.

Jesus was always teaching, by the way, jesus was always teaching.

Jesus was always teaching, by the way, jesus was always teaching.

Jesus was always throwing lessons here and there.

For the three and a half years he was with these people about three or three and a half years he was always bringing out a lesson, giving a story here, correcting something here, bringing a revelation there.

And on this day Peter asked because he was concerned.

If you look at the personality of Peter, you know for sure he came from a dramatic family.

So he asked how many times did you say I should forgive my brother or my sister?

Then he said did you say seven?

And Jesus said no, I said 70 times, seven.

The issue of forgiveness has a lot of misconceptions and this is what I want to finish with.

Sometimes we think that if I forgive my family member, if I forgive my father, forgive my sister, it means that I will not continue hurting, that it won't hurt.

Forgiveness is hurt.

Family can really hurt you.

But if you take time, if you just take the time, take your time to see what they did through the eyes of God.

You'll be amazed.

Sometimes the Lord will show you that they didn't know any better.

Sometimes the Lord will show you that they themselves were hurt.

Sometimes the Lord will show you that they themselves were unparented.

They didn't have parents.

Parenting you was their first responsibility and they missed it.

They missed it.

They missed it with you, but they were good with maybe the last one in the family.

So you always complain.

So when you forgive, especially a family member, you allow God.

When you forgive, especially a spouse, then you allow God to start working on that spouse Many times.

As long as you have not forgiven the spouse, you are praying for his salvation.

God's hands are tied.

God cannot begin to convict him, god cannot begin to speak to him.

But when you forgive, it means that you are trusting God with the process, trusting God with the person when you forgive.

Another misconception is that what was done was not bad or was not that bad.

Someone said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

If the beholder does not see beauty, we can't force.

So people will see what they want to see.

People will see what they want to see.

People will create stories with what they want to create stories.

What I learned is that there is what really happened.

We are only responsible for what really happened, for the facts.

What are the facts?

What really happened?

The interpretation of the facts can be subjective.

I have seen many people whose parents separated and they were hurt and injured by that separation and maybe they hated one parent.

They said this one left us, this one did the other.

But when you're older and you have the facts and the facts begin to show you differently, the facts begin to show you that that person you thought was very good when you are not there used to kick, used to not leave money for food.

So what really happened?

Families must be willing to have this conversation and say that it doesn't matter what really happened, but we want to go forward.

I have come to believe that there is nothing in the family that cannot be forgiven, but a lot needs to be navigated.

Some families need to see a counselor.

You remember that time I said discipline.

What cannot be corrected by discipline should be corrected by counseling.

So counseling, christian counseling, is available for families.

What cannot be corrected by counseling?

Because sometimes I hear cases we have taken this one to all counselors.

In fact, when we go to the counselor they are so good, they advise the counselor.

So what cannot be corrected by counseling, then we have to forward it for deliverance In Jesus' name.

But let me say this that forgiveness does not mean trust.

Sometimes we have refused to forgive because we thought that if I forgive you, I have to trust you.

Forgiveness and trust are very different.

Trust must be rebuilt.

Sometimes people think that you have not forgiven your sister, you have not forgiven your brother, you have not forgiven your mother.

No, when you forgive them, because forgiveness is a verb, it's an action.

Forgiveness is an action.

That meaning that you can go today, even today, right here in this sanctuary, or today when you go home, you can make the decision I'm going to forgive my brother.

My brother who sold the cow that was supposed to pay my fee and ate the money.

You know that's a crime.

You can say I'm going to forgive him because by God's grace I turned out okay.

So forgiveness is instant, but trust is a process.

So once you are forgiven, then you allow the Lord to bring healing into the situation.

Forgiveness is not a feeling.

Sometimes we want to forgive when there's a feeling, but sometimes feelings might be slow in coming.

But when you forgive and trust the process.

Then God will begin to bring those feelings of forgiveness.

The forgiveness is something you do and then allow God to do his part.

The forgiveness is something you do and then allow God to do his part.

We have looked at three marks of a Christian family.

The first one is salvation.

We must encourage family members to be born again.

We cannot leave this matter unsettled or to guesswork.

The second one is that we must be spirit-led.

We must allow the Holy Spirit in the home.

He's a restrainer, he's a corrector, he's a director.

Holy Spirit can reveal things about your children, even you, you wonder.

You say, ah God, it's not possible.

These ones I gave birth to and they are doing that.

He can reveal things to you that can destroy their lives and you can correct them early than later.

And the last one we have said is the mark of forgiveness, one of the verses Apostle Paul says.

He says that Let no one trouble me, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus Christ when I think about the marks of Jesus Christ.

You know the marks of the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you look at his hands, I know from Friday they'll be enacting the death of Jesus.

Look at the hands of Jesus, the nail pierced hands of Jesus, and the sight, the marks are there, but the pain is not there.

And that should be the story of families that even though your family has a mark, it has a mark of a difficult season, it has a mark of rejection, it has a mark of even death.

It has a mark that it's only a mark because Jesus has removed the pain.

As I bring this service to an end, maybe you're here and you're saying, pastor, those three marks are missing from my family.

I've not even started to speak to my loved ones about it.

I've not even started to speak to my children, my family.

There are so many things that need forgiveness, there are so many conversations to navigate.

I believe that, as we do this prayer tonight, this is going to be the first day of your life Forward ever, backwards never.

And as you enter the season of Easter, maybe you will travel, maybe you will see your siblings, your parents, that you will extend an embrace, you will extend compassion.

Some of them don't have the same advantage you had, the advantage of Christ, and that's why they are the way they are today.

So I'd like us to stand and take time to pray, and then I will invite Pastor Rick.

Okay, let's just take time and pray.

In the name of Jesus, father, we thank you.

Thank you that your presence is here today.

From the start of this service, we have felt the presence of God in this place in a special way.

Thank you, lord, that tonight there is a grace, a grace to bring salvation.

The Bible says that the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men and those loved ones that you've been praying for, for their salvation.

I want you, in one minute, to make a demand, make a demand for their salvation.

You don't know why they are not saved.

It could just be something that went wrong in their lives.

It could just be that one instant when something went out of you know, something went out of sync in their life.

We don't know.

Maybe some of them, it is some pain, maybe they were in a relationship and it broke and they hated God.

Sometimes you don't even know the mysteries that hinder people from getting saved.

So I want you to mention their name and as you mention their names, we ask that Holy Spirit, who is compassionate.

The Bible says that he is the greatest intercessor.

He prays with groanings because he knows the real situation.

Maybe the loved one you're praying about tonight is somebody who walked away from the Lord, somebody who felt that he had disappointed the Lord so much that he needed to walk away.

The Bible says that the gifts and the callings of God are without repentance and that tonight they can come back to the Lord.

Tonight, holy Spirit can locate them wherever they are and bring them back to the cross.

We ask, oh Lord, that you will visit our families, our loved ones who are not born again, father, those who are here in this service and even those who are online, who are trusting you for their salvation.

This year we put some people's names on our list and we said we are going to pray for the salvation of so-and-so.

We mentioned their names and we said this year they will be saved and we continue to trust for their salvation.

Maybe you are here and you are a woman and you love Jesus.

You love the Lord, you love serving the Lord, you are a woman and you have given your all to Jesus, but for one reason or another, your spouse is not born again.

Tonight I want you to release them to the Lord Tonight.

I want to save you, to tell Jesus here I am.

I give you this person to you.

Maybe you're a man I don't even know how this works when you find a man so devoted to God but his wife cannot stand Jesus.

Sometimes these things happen, but tonight we allow Jesus to come into our homes to put upon our families the mark of the Lord Jesus Christ, so that the things that have been troubling us, things that have been harassing us, things that have been embarrassing us, will no longer do that.

In Jesus' name.

Maybe it is a child, maybe it is a son or a daughter who has refused to be still and to stay home.

Father, we call them back like the prodigal son.

We ask that, wherever they are in this nation, in this country, in this city, father, even if they are in other countries, let me tell you, I've seen young people come back home.

I've seen people who've been out for 10 years.

I've seen people who there was no contact.

There was no contact, by the way.

We found a man one night, a man who had not been seen for 24 years, and the Lord made sure that this man was arrested so that he could be found and be connected back to his son.

That is what the Lord can do In the mighty name of Jesus.

Father, as we make this prayer, we call our families home.

In the name of Jesus, we ask, lord, that you soften their hearts.

Some of them, their hearts are so indifferent.

Their hearts have changed against us, against their fathers, against their mothers.

Father, we ask, oh Lord, because of the correction.

Sometimes we correct them, but we don't correct them with love.

Sometimes we don't.

I don't want you to wear, I don't want you to do this.

And they have come to hate this Jesus, without knowing that Jesus Christ is so compassionate.

Jesus Christ welcomed Mary Magdalene.

He had no issues with her.

Jesus Christ has no issue.

It's so strange.

He had no issue.

He had no issue with this lady.

But sometimes, because of legalism, we begin to have issues and even our own children become victims.

In the mighty name of Jesus, father, we call them back to their home, we call them back to their fold, we call them back to their family.

In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray, lord, for anyone who is hurting out of our family situation, anyone who is hurting out of our separation.

Lord, you are the one who knows all things.

You are the one who knows all things concerning families.

So, lord, we invite you, we ask, lord, that you, who is the fountain of living waters, will bring life into our families.

In the mighty name of Jesus, father, we pray, father, for the softening of hearts, for the turning of the hearts of the fathers to the hearts of the children and the hearts of the children to the hearts of the fathers.

In the mighty name of Jesus and Lord, even because in this day and age even daughters are turning away from mothers, we ask, lord, for our turning turning around of the hearts of the daughters back to their mothers.

We want to pray, father, that you give us that ability and the grace and the anointing to mentor young ladies, oh God, so that they will look like Jesus.

We give you praise, we give you honor, we bless you, for it's in Jesus' mighty name that we do pray and believe.

Amen, hallelujah, amen.

God bless you.