The Foundation of the Family | Turn Your Heart Toward Home - Deuteronomy 6:1-7 | Ben Rivers

Man, it is so good to be in the room with you today.

Uh, worship team, thank you so much for leading us to the throne this morning.

What an incredible time of worship.

Uh, if we have not met yet, my name is Ben, and I have the privilege of serving on staff here, and I'm serving with the student ministry team here at Silverdale, and I just love being a part of this church.

I love that I get to uh pour into students every single week, and I love partnering with leaders that pour into students every single week and seeing life change.

I love being a part of what God is doing in and through Silverdale.

So thank you for allowing me to be up here today and to teach through God's word.

Uh, I'm grateful to be up here.

My prayer is that God would speak to you today and that you would walk out of this room different than how you walked into this room today.

That's what we pray every single week, is that the Lord would speak to us through his word.

You know, we we recognized graduates uh just a few moments ago, and uh, and graduates, we we really are proud of you.

It's a it's a stepping stone.

And uh, when when you go through moments like this, I encourage you to not just speed through the moments and try to get to the next thing, but soak in what uh what things you have to learn during these moments where you're transitioning into a different phase of life.

And uh and we are praying for you uh through these transitions.

But it's moments like this, like graduations, that are interesting, right?

Because they remind us of just how fast time moves.

Like one day you're teaching your kid how to tie their shoes, and it feels like the very next day they're walking across the stage.

For me, it seems like just yesterday that we were bringing my oldest daughter, Molly, home from the hospital.

And I remember being in the hospital and we were there for a couple of days, and uh, and the nurse was like, All right, y'all are ready to go home.

And we think, no, we're not ready to go home.

We have a little tiny human that we have to keep alive.

You can you can like help us take care of her for a little longer, right?

Uh but it's crazy because it seems like that was just yesterday, and now we're teaching her to drive.

She's learning how to drive a car.

And it's crazy to think about how fast time has moved.

And I know that a lot of you in the room have been here, but have you ever had a moment where you've stopped and thought, how did we get to this point?

Like, how did we get here?

It seems like just yesterday that we were here and now we're here.

Because somewhere between the diapers and learning to walk and talk and walking across the stage, between learning to eat with a fork and keep it between the lines, something has been built.

Through all the teaching, through all the smiles and the laughter, the sweat, the tears, uh, through the prayers, a foundation is built.

And I've been thinking a lot about that lately as a parent because one thing that I've realized pretty quickly is this that my kids, they don't always do what I say, but they most certainly are absolutely picking up on what I live.

For instance, my seven-year-old boy Jack, he does everything that I do.

Uh, he's a reflection of me.

He wants to throw a baseball like I do, he wants to uh to hunt like I do and fish like I do, and he wants to uh play instruments like I do.

And even the other day, getting ready for a wedding, he said, Daddy, can you fix your hair, my hair, just like you fix yours?

He's watching everything that I do, and he's learning from me.

Our children are watching, they're listening, they're absorbing, and there has been way more than one occasion that I've done something or said something and immediately thought, man, I really hope they don't pick up on that.

Whether you realize it or not, whether I realize it or not, we're building something in our homes every single day.

And what I want to just uh say this morning, I want to pause for just a second and tell you, I'm gonna be talking a lot about children and families today.

But whatever season that you're in right now, whether you don't yet have children, or maybe you're not going to have children, or maybe you have a young family, or maybe you're old and your children are already grown up.

We're talking about families.

This is not about just a single uh age group.

We're talking about families, and I believe that the Lord has instruction in his word for each and every one of us today.

The question that we have is what kind of foundation are we laying?

That's what we're talking about today.

The foundations of the family.

Because we're in week two on this series on the family, where last week Pastor Tony brought an incredible message talking about the power of a positive mom.

And today we're talking about the foundation of the family.

Now, here's the big idea that I want you to get today, that I want you to walk away from today with.

A strong foundation isn't built on good intentions, it's built through everyday faithfulness to God.

It's built on everyday faithfulness to God.

Now, here's what I know about all of us in the room today.

Most families, they're not, they're not struggling, they're not failing because they don't care.

I don't know anybody who wakes up and says, I really hope that today my family is spiritually disconnected and super chaotic.

I've never heard anybody say that.

I would bet that that's not any of your plans and any of your goals today.

I would say that nobody has that goal in mind.

We care, right?

We care about our families.

We want what's best for our families.

And most of us are at least trying with our families.

But if we're honest, a lot of families today they feel stretched.

They feel busy, and they are busy.

They feel pulled in a hundred different directions.

Schedules are packed, right?

Expectations are high.

There's always something next.

And what happens is we start building our family on whatever feels the most urgent.

Sport schedules, school events, school success, financial stability, opportunities.

And hear me, none of those things are bad, none of them are wrong, but they were never meant to be the foundation of your family.

And if those things become the foundation, if anything other than God becomes the foundation, it will not hold the weight.

But here's the thing: families aren't falling apart because they're trying to do wrong.

They're just building on things that won't last.

So, what does our foundation need to be?

We're gonna look at God's word this morning and see some instruction from the Lord.

And if you have your Bible with you this morning, I want to invite you to go ahead and open that up to Deuteronomy 6.

If you didn't bring your Bible, we're gonna have the scriptures up on the screen and uh you can open up your Bible app on your phone and follow along that way.

Uh, but follow along however you want to this morning.

So let me set the scene for you here in Deuteronomy 6.

Moses had been called up to by God up to Mount Sinai, where God establishes this covenant with Moses and the Israelite people.

And this is where uh this is where he's given the Ten Commandments that we're all familiar with.

And Moses comes down from the mountain and calls the people of Israel together, and he begins to give them this instruction from the Lord that he had received from God.

And now in chapter six, Moses is reminding Israel what matters most before they step into the promised land.

Moses knows, he knows that these people are about to enter a new season.

He knows that they're about to enter a new culture, new pressures.

And he knows that if their foundation is not right, everything else is going to fall apart.

So he gives them this instruction from God.

This is what it says starting in verse 1.

These are the commands, decrees, and regulations that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you.

You must obey them in the land you are about to enter and occupy.

And you and your children and grandchildren must fear the Lord your God as long as you live.

If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life.

Listen closely, Israel, and be careful to obey.

Then all will go well with you, and you will have many children in the land flowing with milk and honey.

Just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

Listen, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord alone.

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.

And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I'm giving you today.

Repeat them again and again to your children.

Talk about them when you're at home and when you're on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.

God, we thank you so much for your word.

God, we thank you for the instruction that you give us in your word.

And God, that you communicate to us through your word.

God, I thank you for the relationship that we are able to have with you.

And God, that you love us enough to have a relationship with us.

God, I pray that today, as we look at your word, I pray that it would penetrate hearts.

And I pray that lives would be changed as a result of your word today.

We love you, and we pray these things in your precious and holy name.

Amen.

So if you are taking notes this morning, here's the first thing that I want you to jot down this morning.

And that's the foundation begins with you.

The foundation begins with you.

If God, uh before God ever talks about children or family or the household, he talks about you as an individual and your own life.

Verses five and six, it says, You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I'm giving you today.

In other words, the spiritual foundation of the family starts with the personal relationship that you have with God.

And this is where we have to be honest.

Because it's really easy to want something spiritually for your family that you're not actually pursuing yourself.

I can't tell you how many times over my 15 years in student ministry that I've had a parent come to me and say something like, I really want my kid to love God.

I really want them to take God seriously.

I really want them to love going to church and to and to uh to take everything about God seriously.

I want him to be in their life.

And the reality is that a lot of times I want to look back at the parent in the eye and say, they're not going to take God seriously because you don't take God seriously.

It's really easy for us to want something spiritually for our families that we're not personally pursuing ourselves.

Listen, parents, we we want our kids to value church.

We want our kids to love God, but so often we're not consistently walking with him.

We want our kids to value church, but so often we treat it as an option for us.

We want them to trust God, but so often our kids see us not trusting him.

The foundation begins with you.

As we get started and we begin talking through this, I want to remind you of something this morning.

The goal is not perfect parenting, it's not being a perfect family member.

If we were able to be perfect and have perfect parenting and we were able to save our own families, there would be no need for Jesus, right?

The goal isn't perfection, it's dependence on God.

Look, maybe maybe you walked into this room carrying some guilt this morning because you feel like you failed as a parent.

But the gospel is good news even for parents, even for family members.

Jesus redeems the broken, he restores broken homes, he gives grace where we lack.

You don't have to be perfect for your family, but the foundation begins with you.

But here's the truth: you can't pass down what you don't personally possess.

Some of the things that we value most a lot of times, or things that have been passed down from our parents or our grandparents.

Maybe it's a family heirloom that's been passed down for generations and generations.

One of my favorite things, one of the things that I treasure the most on this earth is this pocket watch.

And uh my granddaddy, uh, he got this pocket watch when he was serving in World War II overseas, and he carried this watch with him as he served.

And I treasure this watch because I know the foundation that my granddaddy has laid for his family, for my family.

I know that, I know how much he loved me, I know how much he loved his family, and I know how much he loved the Lord.

I remember watching him sit in his recliner and read the word of God.

I remember him praying over his family.

I remember him teaching his family the word of God.

I treasure this watch because he passed it on to me.

We value things like this, but if we don't actually own them, if we don't actually possess them, we can't pass them on to someone else.

You see, if my granddaddy, if he didn't actually own this watch, there's no way that he could have passed it on to me.

If we don't have a foundation built on God in our own lives, there is no way that we can pass that on to anyone else.

The spiritual foundation of a home is built on the spiritual foundation of parents.

You've all heard the common phrase, actions speak louder than words, right?

It's built on what is in your heart and what you live out, not on what you say.

We can say all day long, you need to do this, you need to do this, but until we live this out, our our children are not gonna follow.

Your walk with God sets the tone for your entire home.

Another thing is that the foundation must be internal before it's instructional.

It must be internal before it's instructional.

Verse 6.

It says, and you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I'm giving you today.

The English Standard Version puts it like this These words shall be on your heart.

We have to let the instruction of the Lord live in ourselves before we can teach it to our families.

Information alone doesn't change a family, formation does.

Information alone doesn't change a family, formation does.

How many times have we tried to instruct our kids on something, but they just do exactly what we do?

The foundation of our families shouldn't be about transferring information, but should be about transformation.

And that starts with you.

Because what fills your heart will eventually fill your home.

We have to let the instruction of the Lord live in ourselves before we can teach it.

Let me tell you, I wish so bad sometimes that I could just say something and my children would do exactly what I said.

But the reality is that they're gonna do what is modeled before them.

Like sometimes when my kids are throwing a fit, they're throwing a temper tantrum, I'm like, man, they must have been hanging out with their mama.

No, I'm joking.

Sorry, Megan.

No, I think to myself, what have my children seen modeled before them that makes them think that this is normal?

That this is how they should react.

And I have to think back to my own life of like, what have I modeled for my children?

What have they learned and picked up from me?

Honestly, our kids are like mirrors sometimes.

And there have been more than one moment where the Lord has used my own children to reveal areas in my own life that needed to change.

The next thing that I want you to jot down is this the foundation repeated shapes your home.

The foundation repeated shapes your home.

You see, we we begin our foundation in our own lives.

Then we begin to teach that to our children.

Then we should repeat it over and over again.

Because what is repeated becomes remembered, and what is remembered shapes who we are.

Every home has a message, every home has messages that is that are being repeated.

And you don't even have to intentionally say these messages out loud for them to be communicated, right?

The whole family can feel it.

If mom and dad are constantly stressed about performance, then the kids learn performance.

If anger dominates the home, kids learn anger.

If appearance is everything to the parents, then it's ingrained in our children.

The image matters more than anything else.

But the opposite is true also.

When they see repentance, they learn humility.

When they hear mom and dad pray, they learn dependence on God.

When they see mom and dad worshiping, even in difficult times, they learn faithfulness.

While messages could be, you have to perform, winning matters most.

Image is everything, success defines you.

Those messages could also be something like, you are God's workmanship.

As for this household, we will serve the Lord.

We will act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly.

Listen, our children and our families are bombarded every single day with messages from the world.

From social media, from news, from their peers at school, from curriculum that's being taught.

They are bombarded with messages every single day from the world.

And if we don't step in and we don't teach our families, if we don't repeat these things over and over and teach our families, then I promise you the world will gladly do it.

There is nothing more that the enemy would love than to take your family down.

Because the family goes against everything that he stands for.

He would love to take your family down.

If we aren't intentionally forming our families spiritually, I promise you that the world will gladly do it for us.

Verse 7 says, repeat them again and again to your children.

That's discipleship.

Repeat them again and again.

It's not one time telling them a set of rules, you need to do this, you need to do that.

It's consistently showing them how to love the Lord their God with all their heart, all their soul, and all their strength.

And they do that.

We teach them that by them seeing you do that exact same same thing.

Disciple your family or the Lord or the world will.

How do we do that though?

How do we disciple our families?

We do this in everyday moments with our families.

Jot this down.

The foundation is built in everyday moments.

This part of verse seven.

It's one of my favorite parts of the whole passage because it's actually kind of freeing.

It's kind of freeing.

Verse 7, it says, talk about them when you're at home and when you're on the road, when you were going to bed, and when you were getting up.

If I'm honest, I can sometimes let the enemy get the best of me and I can listen to the lies that he tells me.

And I think to myself, man, I'm not reading the Bible enough with my family.

I'm not I'm not praying enough with my kids.

I'm not I'm not doing enough for my wife.

I'm not a good enough husband.

I'm not a good enough father.

And the enemy likes to say these things to me.

But if I shift my mindset from tasks to everyday moments, it becomes a natural part of my day, modeling to my family what it means to follow after the Lord.

It's not about adding one more thing to the schedule.

It's not about adding something else to what you have to do.

It's modeling every single day in the everyday moments what it means to follow after the Lord.

It goes from adding one more thing to your already packed schedule to my relationship with the Lord is going to help shape the foundation of my family.

It's the normal moments, the car rides, the dinner table, it's bedtime, it's throwing baseball, it's through the wins and the losses, the ups and the downs.

It's in those everyday moments that the foundation is built.

That's discipleship.

It's not just saying a few rules and saying this is how you need to live.

It's modeling and showing your children every single day what it means to follow the Lord.

Discipleship in the home isn't isn't an event.

It's the life that you live together.

The last thing that I want you to jot down this morning is that the foundation has generational impact.

The foundation has generational impact.

Listen to what verses two and three say.

And you and your children and grandchildren must fear the Lord your God as long as you live.

If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life.

Listen closely, Israel, and be careful to obey.

Then all will go well with you, and you will have many children in the land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

God's vision was never just one generation, it was generational impact.

What you build today, someone else will live in tomorrow.

What you build today, someone else will live in tomorrow.

Be consistent in your faithfulness to God and in how you live that out in your home.

Listen, you may never see the full impact of your faithfulness to God, right?

Like my granddaddy, he he passed away when I was seven years old.

But the times that he spent in his recliner reading the word in front of his family, the time that he spent praying for his family, the time that he spent teaching his family about God has made an impact for generations.

And he doesn't know the impact that it had.

Because I didn't even know the Lord when he was still alive.

But he took time in the everyday moments to lay the foundation that matters the most.

And through that foundation, the Lord was taught to my mom, and the Lord was taught to me.

And I came to know the Lord, and now I'm getting to teach these things to my family.

It was never one generation, it's generational impact.

You may never see the full impact of your faithfulness, but one bedtime prayer, one conversation in the car, one moment of repentance, one decision to put the Lord first, one choice to open your Bible.

Those things may feel small in the moment.

They may feel like they don't make a difference.

But those small actions lead to building a foundation that shapes generations and generations.

Here's the thing.

I know that for myself, I can hear a message like this of how I need to lead my family, or I can hear a message about how I need to be a better father, or what I need to do as a husband.

I can hear messages like this, and honestly, I can feel a little overwhelmed because I am far, far, far from perfect.

And it feels like, how am I even, man, how am I even gonna do this?

But I want to encourage you today.

Maybe you have that same feeling.

Maybe you you feel like, man, I've I've really messed up with my family, and there's no way I can come back from this.

There's no way I can do this now.

I want you to walk away from this message today, feeling encouraged.

The last thing that I want is for you to feel discouraged.

Because God's word actually gives us the instruction of what we need to do.

So, what do we need to do?

What do we do with all of it?

For some of you, you need to start with you.

Before anything changes in your family, something needs to be reignited in your own walk with God.

Not because you're supposed to, but because you want to.

Maybe you need to spend time with God this morning and say, Lord, I'm ready to take my family back, but I know that that begins with me.

And I'm surrendering myself to you today.

So that I can lay the correct foundation for my family.

For others of you, it's not about adding more, it's about being intentional with what's already there.

You're already driving your kids around, you're already sitting at the dinner table, you're already walking through life together.

What if you just started bringing God into those moments?

Repeating the things of God over and over again.

Repeating the things of God in everyday moments.

And for some of you here today, maybe you've been focused on behavior and outcomes when God is just calling you to shepherd their heart.

Whatever your home is built on, it will shape everything else in it.

The foundation is what matters, right?

The foundation is what holds everything together.

And the foundation of your home, what it is built on, it will shape everything else in it.

Listen, we we believe here at Silverdale that the parents should be the primary disciplers of their children.

But we also believe that it's our responsibility to come alongside you and help you disciple them.

Help you to do that.

And today we've got, uh, I love that they put this together.

We've got this little guide.

If you have uh older preschool kids through elementary school, we've got this guide out in the atrium that you can pick up on your way out.

It's a Bible study guide because I know for a lot of parents, it's like, man, I want to teach my kids the things of the Lord, but I don't even know where to begin.

This is such a great resource for you to pick up.

If you have older kids, we've also got these Bible study guides with the soaps outlined on the back that teaches you how to read scripture and how to dig into it.

I encourage you to pick one of those up as you walk out today.

Look, get in the word together.

Begin today.

Begin with yourself.

Begin by repeating the things of the Lord over and over.

Listen, your family does not have to be perfect to be grounded in Christ.

I promise you, my family is not perfect.

Your family does not have to be perfect to be grounded in Christ.

Some of the strongest homes are homes where people, uh where people just keep surrendering back to Jesus over and over again.

That no matter what they go through, no matter what storm comes their way, no matter what life throws at them, they're surrendering themselves to Jesus over and over again.

Saying this is the foundation that we're gonna be built on.

If this room was full of families where God isn't just something that we talk about on Sundays, but where he's someone that we walk with every single day of the week together.

Man, what an impact that would have in families in this church.

What an impact that would have on our community.

What an impact that would have for generations to come.

Where kids don't just hear about faith, they see it.

Where even though homes aren't perfect, they are grounded.

That's the kind of foundation that lasts.

In a moment, we're gonna have a time of response.

And this time is for you to respond however the Lord is calling you to respond.

Our prayer, like I mentioned earlier, is that the word would speak to every single person that walks through these doors every week.

And this moment of response is the time for you to respond how the Lord's calling you to.

There are gonna be encouragers down front, they're gonna be praying for you, and they would love to pray with you if you'd like to pray with somebody.

But maybe you just need to come and kneel at the altar, the altar's open, and maybe you need to just come and kneel and pray for your family.

Or maybe you need to grab your family and come down here with them and pray with them and pray over them.

Or maybe you need to come back to God today, or even come to Him for the first time.

Maybe today is that day.

However, the Lord is calling you to respond today, this moment is for that.

Let me pray, and our encouragers will get in place, and let's respond how the Lord's calling us to.

God, we love you.

And God, I thank you that you give us the instruction for the foundation of the family.

God, that it's not something that we have to guess and figure out on our own.

But God, that you you teach us through your word.

God, I thank you that that you give us that instruction.

And I pray today, God, I pray that families today would surrender themselves to you.

God, that they would begin today to make you the foundation of their home.

I pray that if someone today needs to get on their knees and pray for their family, or they need to pray with their family, they would have the courage to do that.

God, move in this moment how you want.

We invite you to do that.

We pray these things in your son's precious and holy name.

Amen.