Guidelines for God's Family | 1 Timothy 5:1-16

All right, well, if you don't know about Feeding Hands, they are a wonderful ministry that serves the disenfranchised.

And in that video, you can see many of NBC's own people serving together as a group.

And if that's you, I just want to say thank you for using your gifts to serve the Lord and for caring for the most vulnerable among us.

If you are interested in serving after seeing a video like that, either individually or as a family, let me know and I can connect you with the appropriate people to get you hooked up with Feeding Hands.

hands.

Now this morning we're continuing our series in 1 Timothy.

We're going to be in 1 Timothy chapter 5.

1 Timothy 5 · chapter mention

We're looking at verses 1 through 16.

1 Timothy 5, 1 through 16.

I invite you to join me there.

And as you're finding that scripture, I'd like to begin with an image.

And that's the image of the redwood tree.

Now if you've ever been to Santa Cruz, California or somewhere around there, you've seen the redwoods.

They are a sight to behold.

The giant redwoods, you can see the dimensions there with the people in the pictures, are made massive, the most massive individual trees on earth.

In fact, the redwood can grow to 270 feet tall, and that's Pretty tall.

And 25 feet in diameter.

You might think that something that huge has to have an incredible root system that goes deep down into the earth to help them stand that tall.

But with redwoods, that's actually not the case.

The redwood tree has a remarkably shallow root.

It only goes down about 5 or 10 feet deep.

It seems to violate the laws of physics.

That they can stand upright that tall for hundreds, some even thousands of years.

That is until you know one more fact.

The redwoods actually grow in these thick groves.

Because their roots are so shallow, they eventually become intertwined over time and they fuse together.

So they start out as an individual tree, but they become one with the others as they mature and as they grow.

You might say they grow into a family of trees.

Beneath the surface, these incredibly statuesque trees, their roots are like an army of men holding their arms interlocked and supporting each other.

They are preventing the adversaries of life from knocking each other down.

The redwood trees teach us an important countercultural lesson in our world today.

In 21st century American culture, we are enamored with individualism.

We love finding success under our own power.

We love growing tall in things like our careers or our achievements and having others notice.

But the price of our success sometimes is relationships.

Sometimes our families are casualties of career.

In contrast, the redwood trees show us the power of interconnectedness.

That's to grow tall, excuse me, they need other trees.

If they didn't lock their roots, they would collapse under their own size.

They would be alone.

And I wonder today if there's anybody who has felt alone in this world.

Maybe you're lonely right now.

You're longing for deeper relationships.

You long for the roots of the other trees in your life to interlock.

And you're not the only one who feels that way.

Loneliness is actually more than a feeling.

In fact, it's been called a public health crisis.

Several years ago, then-US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy raised awareness about the American loneliness epidemic and its serious consequences.

In his 2023 report, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, Murthy highlighted the links between loneliness and increased risks of things like cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, premature death.

Young people were especially affected, with 79% of adults aged 18 to 24 reportedly feeling lonely, compared with only 41% of those 66 and older.

Now, what's the solution?

Well, Murdy suggests we foster deeper connections with others through relationships, service, and community.

To me, that sounds like something the church can help with.

Murty said building community is one of the most important things we can do for our health and our well-being.

That by prioritizing genuine connections and collective purpose, we can address loneliness and its widespread impact on mental and physical health.

That solution is taking a page from the playbook of the redwood trees.

In order to survive, they need community.

People who are lonely often need caring relationships.

But that then raises another tension.

Because some might ask, are solutions to loneliness actually a gateway to enablement?

Because some of us struggle with setting boundaries.

How do you respond when the person you're caring for sends you long text message threads that you have to scroll through and through and through in the middle of the night?

Has that ever happened to you?

Or what do you do when you've invested countless hours helping someone who seems resistant to the positive changes they need to make, like going out and meeting people?

Unless we have appropriate boundaries, we can easily become overwhelmed, because sometimes helping may actually be hurting.

Now on the flip side, some of us who are feeling lonely right now struggle with asking for assistance.

We don't want anyone to know that we need help or feel alone in life's challenges.

And we need the humility to ask for help.

Now, does the Bible offer any guidelines for these caring relationships?

And the answer to that is thankfully yes.

That is what the Apostle Paul will teach us in 1 Timothy chapter 5.

1 Timothy 5 · chapter mention

Now, after spending chapter 4 talking about the life of the pastor, which we covered last week, Paul now turns to the wider church community and teaches about caring And the question I want to ask today is, can the church cure loneliness?

I believe it can.

I think Paul believed it can.

And in 1 Timothy 5, 1 to 16, Paul offers four guidelines for life in God's family.

If we follow those guidelines, we can produce the antidote to loneliness.

Now, what are they?

What are the guidelines?

Number one, relational respect.

Number two, practical provision.

Number three, esteem your elders.

And then finally, participate with purpose.

And if we follow those guidelines, the church can show the world something different, an antidote So let's pray and then we'll dive in the text this morning.

Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for your goodness, for your grace, for your mercy.

Lord, I thank you for each person who's here.

And Lord, for those that are coming in this morning that are feeling lonely, that are feeling disconnected.

Father, I pray that even today you would move on the hearts of those in their lives to reach out.

Help us to be people who are sensitive to those who are on the margins, that we would have a heart for them, and that they would feel part of the family of God that your church is.

Thank you for your word.

May it challenge us today.

We ask that in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.

So a key aspect of curing loneliness in our world is recapturing relational respect.

Now, we live in a culture that writ large does not value relational respect.

In fact, I might say we live in a culture of disrespect.

That if you just listen to the way people speak to each other on things like social media or your favorite cable news channel, and then even in real life, there's a common thread of tearing people down rather than building them up.

Now, when it comes to things like social media, it's often been observed that we live during the most connected time in history.

You can go online and find a group almost anywhere that has any kind of shared interest.

And yet, studies tell us that people feel lonelier now than we were before the advent of social media.

Now, why is that?

Well, I might suggest that many of the dangers of social media have outweighed the benefits.

And there are some benefits.

But while connecting people across the world is nice, it's also detrimental to lose relationships with those in close proximity to you.

As such, it's much easier to criticize people you've never met in person.

In fact, you may remember that Paul encourages Timothy with these words in 1 Timothy 4.12.

He says, Now, we live in a world that prizes youth.

And while youth comes with energy and vitality and boldness, it often includes, at least for a time, immaturity and arrogance and brashness.

And Paul tells Timothy, don't let that be the case with you.

Use your youth as a force for good.

So he's to set an example in the following areas, the areas of speech and conduct and love and faith and purity.

What a tremendous calling.

Now later in the service today, we're going to recognize our graduating high school seniors.

And to that I say, oh, to be 18 years old again.

But if you are a graduating senior, praise God that you are 18 years old because you have your life in front of you.

Use your youth as a force for good.

Just imagine if you focused on those five areas for the rest of your life.

What if you guarded your tongue?

What if you displayed love for your neighbor and your faith in Jesus?

What if your conduct produced purity?

People would see something different and be drawn to Jesus Christ.

Set an example for those of us who are old.

Teach us how to speak with respect.

That'll set you apart.

And now as we enter chapter 5, Paul begins to outline this, what I'll call intergenerational relational respect in the family of God.

Look at how he begins in verse 1.

He says, Wow.

Wow.

So these verses come on the heels of 1 Timothy 4.12.

There, Paul told Timothy, a young man, a young pastor, the example he should set.

But now you ask, well, how does that play out?

And he gives these examples in verses 1 and 2, moving from older to younger, male to female.

So first, in the family of God, treat older men as if they were your father.

Do not rebuke an older man, he says.

Now, that's not to say older men never deserve correction.

In fact, many times we do.

But the ESV actually obscures the sharpness of the word.

It actually should read, don't rebuke an older man harshly.

Why?

Because this will communicate disrespect.

Correct, but gently in love.

Younger people have an opportunity to do that by setting an example with their speech.

Second, treat younger men as brothers.

Now, how many of you out there have younger brothers?

Quite a few of you, I'm sure.

How many of you are younger brothers?

Quite a few of you.

It's very easy for the older sibling to look down on their younger brother who can be a bit rowdy.

The clause is a challenge for the older members of the congregation.

Don't dismiss younger men.

They are your brothers.

And then third, Paul moves on to older women and younger women.

They are to be considered mothers and sisters.

And he adds this important clause at the end, in all, with all purity.

Timothy is to set an example in purity.

And that's a reminder to set up appropriate guardrails so that there are no temptations for inappropriate romantic relationships.

You must respect relationships with both older women and younger women.

So Paul's challenge for us in these opening verses is this, develop respectful intergenerational relationships.

That is a key component to curing loneliness.

In our world, it is so easy to get into our age groups and complain about others.

And then add social media in the mix and people use their platforms to tear other people down.

So the older people start to complain about the younger people and their music choices.

And then the younger people complain about the older people and their inflexibility.

And then you get popular memes about generations like the boomers and the zoomers, right?

There's probably representatives of each of those in this room.

The baby boom generation, the Gen Z generation, they can trade barbs at one another through memes.

And then you have a generation following Generation Z, my kids' generation, that's being called Generation Alpha.

And I'm sorry, but if you call somebody part of the alpha generation, you might be setting them up for a life of narcissistic tendencies because now they're the alpha.

But if you go back to the boomers and the zoomers, when the younger people don't want to hear from the older people, what's the popular insult?

Okay, boomer.

Now, in other words, you don't know what you're talking about.

And then the boomers look at the zoomers and they say, well, you don't know what you're talking about, young one.

And then the Gen X and Millennials, will they start in the action as well?

Do any of these conversations communicate respect?

But what if we came today with respect and listened and learned from one another?

Now here at NBC, we try to model this in a number of ways, and I'll give you a few examples.

First, we have our radical mentoring program, which is a wonderful example of this on the ground.

Older men like Bruce Cork are investing in younger men as they draw closer to the Lord.

And when I speak with those who've gone through the program, they say everybody benefits.

Second, we just had a men's ministry breakfast yesterday.

It was packed house.

Tons of people out for that.

Older men and younger men coming together to sharpen one another through respectful relationships.

Wonderful talks on how God cares for the orphans that ties in with some of our later themes today.

Third, our women's ministry pursues the same goal.

Whether you participate in the Tuesday Bible studies, at special events like retreats, younger women are together with older women.

They want to develop deep, respectful relationships.

And then fourth, as Tim was talking about before, I see people of all ages in our teens and our kids' ministry programs serving.

It is so beautiful to see older seasoned saints investing in the next generation.

In the future, we're talking about another opportunity.

We'd like to develop a professional mentoring program that allows experienced Christians to invest in those who might be going into the same line of work.

And if you're interested in that, you can talk to me and I'll get you on the list for when that comes.

But again, the question is, can the church cure loneliness?

Because when we develop relational respect in God's family, I believe we can.

So this week, I encourage you to talk with somebody of a different generation.

Listen to them respectfully and see what God can teach you.

Our practical way to cure loneliness is to build these bridges by showing respect.

And in that area, the church can stand out.

But once we build a relationship of respect, we take the next step, and that is to move on to practical provision.

Practical provision.

Now, beginning in verse 3, Paul offers a practical way the church is called to help those who are lonely and hurting.

And he offers an extended treatment on how to care for widows.

Well, this is the example.

The principle centers on caring for the most vulnerable among us, especially in our own family.

So here's the picture he's giving.

You may remember a few months ago, there was an earthquake at the San Diego Zoo.

And while this was not...

an uncommon event in Southern California, one moment went viral on social media where the elephants at the zoo, who have the ability to feel sound through their feet, sensed the danger.

And what was their first reaction?

Those older, stronger elephants would circle around the younger, smaller, more vulnerable elephants to protect them.

And that's a picture of how we should care for the more vulnerable in the church family.

We circle around the the more vulnerable to protect and care for them.

And a very practical example is widows.

So Paul writes this in verse three.

He says, honor widows who are truly widows.

Now I want you to notice there's two clauses here.

The first is a command, honor widows.

And that's in the Greek, that's an imperative.

It's a command.

The fact that Paul addresses this topic and then spends 12 verses saying, Actually, a pretty good portion of the letter talking about this example means it was an issue in his time in the Ephesian church.

And a widow, if you don't know, is a woman whose husband has died and she has not remarried.

Now, the word honor meant to give them what they are due, particularly as it related to finances.

Because in the first century world, the husband was the one who earned the money.

Widows in the ancient world had really very few options to earn money and resources, and they needed help.

Now, this word for honor can also be used of honoring the gods, which shows up in the next verse where Paul makes this a matter of religious duty.

Second, the qualification, those who are truly widows, might seem a little perplexing because you say, well, isn't it clear?

What does he mean here?

Isn't it clear who the widows are?

The phrase means the widows who are really in need.

In other words, this applies to widows who have no family to care for them.

Then the church must step in to help.

And this introduces an important principle.

And that is this.

Family are the first responders.

Family are the first responders.

So your family is a mini church.

That before the church was formed, there was the family.

And it serves as a picture of God's family.

You must care for your family first.

Now, Paul continues in this line in verse 4.

He says, But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

Now, notice the important principles outlined here.

Children and grandchildren are called to provide practical provision for their parents and grandparents who may be widows first.

or widowers in our time.

Now, what are they called to do?

Show godliness to their own household and make a return to their parents.

Now, if you do this, he says, God is pleased.

Now, again, the word honor, that was in verse 3, echoes the fifth commandment.

Honor your father and mother.

And that command, of course, you may remember, has a qualification with it.

Honor your father and mother that it may go well with you.

Paul even mentions that in Ephesians 6, verse 3.

Ephesians 6:3

Now, why are widows mentioned here and not the men?

Well, a little cultural background again would be helpful.

In the Greco-Roman world of the first century, men again were the ones who made most of the financial provisions for the family.

And as such, women whose husbands died could find themselves in a precarious position with no means of support, especially if the children would not help.

And this was the background for the first deacons that we talked about a few weeks ago in Acts chapter 6.

Acts 6 · chapter mention

In the ancient world, widows were particularly vulnerable to exploitation.

Jesus himself picked up on this.

He recognized and denounced the religious leaders who he says devoured widows' houses in Luke chapter 20.

Luke 20 · chapter mention

Women who were really in need were lacking support from their relatives.

They needed the help of the church.

Paul seems to be challenging here both individual Christians, take care of your family, and also the church.

Take care of those who don't have a family.

So Paul now offers qualifications for helping widows in verses 5 and 6, and later as well.

He writes this in verse 5.

He says, But she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.

Command these things as well so that they may be without reproach.

So he makes clear again here that the widow the church supports is the one the family cannot or will not help.

She is the one left all alone.

She is trusting in the Lord.

And the church should step in.

In fact, I would add, we should be especially mindful of widows who are in need, even more so if they have children.

Now, some of you might know my own personal story, and if you don't, I'll share that.

I grew up in a wonderful family who loved the Lord.

My mother and father were wonderful people who loved each other and did the best they could to raise my sister and I.

But my father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 10 years old.

My sister was 6.

And at a young age, my mother became a widow and had to raise two children on her own.

And if you want to talk about loneliness, there is no starker picture than becoming a widow with young kids.

And if you're in that similar situation, you understand what that feels like.

You feel desperately alone and overwhelmed.

Now, we did have some family resources that came alongside us, but imagine having absolutely no one.

In that moment, the church...

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Care for orphans and widows receives sizable attention throughout the Old and New Testament.

Most notable is how God is described in Psalm 68, 5, where he is the father of the fatherless and the protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.

God is a protector of widows.

And if God is a protector of widows, should not his church do the same as a reflection of his character?

Additionally, Jesus himself cared about widows by citing them in his parables, Luke 18, the parable of the persistent widow, and highlighting their faith like the widow's might in Luke 21.

Now, why is God's heart in particular drawn to widows and orphans?

Why do they get so much of his attention in Scripture?

Because they are among the most vulnerable classes of people, especially in the ancient world.

They have experienced the effects of the fall in a very tangible way, and God's heart is drawn to the vulnerable.

Never forget that.

Now, while widows are Paul's case study in this section, the general principle is this.

Prioritize care for the vulnerable.

Some of the most vulnerable among us today are those who experience disabilities.

As individuals and as a church, we should always be seeking how we can care for those in need, especially the disabled and marginalized in this world.

They are among the most lonely out there.

Do you remember that video we showed at the beginning of Feeding Hands?

That ministry focuses on the vulnerable in society.

I guarantee you, widows and orphans are showing up at their door needing help.

God cares about them.

But Paul says not all widows are truly widows.

And he gives an interesting qualification in verse 6.

He says, she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.

Now, what in the world does that mean, you say?

Well, the phrase has the meaning of living for sensual pleasure because apparently this was a problem for some younger widows of Paul's day.

Because of their licentious living, he says they're considered spiritually dead.

And that's the background for Paul's age qualification in verse 9, which we'll get to.

But he drives home the call to take care of your own family in verse 8.

He writes this.

He says, Now, here again, we find the principle of this section.

Family are first responders.

You are called to practical provision for your family.

The clause at the end is meant to highlight the seriousness of this call.

If you don't provide, you've denied the faith.

In fact, even unbelievers understand the need to provide for their families.

Now, that's not to say that, as some teach, that the man has to earn all the money in the household.

His wife may certainly work if she's willing and able to help provide.

But as the head of the household, the father bears the responsibility for his family's well-being.

And in this context, there is a calling to care for widows within your family.

Family are first responders.

Providing practical provision helps to end loneliness because the person in need knows you care for them.

Now, before we leave this point, let me highlight a practical need that surfaces often in our families, and that's the issue of aging parents.

A passage like this speaks directly to that situation.

And I know for many that can place a strain on your schedule, your home life, your finances.

In fact, many of you might be walking through that right now.

It can be a challenge when people are in need of care constantly.

And yet the call of this section is to care for those who are in need in our family.

By doing so, you are showing your faith in the God who provides for our needs even before we ask.

It can be overwhelming.

But if that's the case, the church may be able to come alongside.

So let me just speak for a moment to the widows and the widowers in the audience right now.

It does not escape me that a passage like this speaks directly to you.

And as a church, we want you to know that we see you and we want to help.

And if you have needs, talk to me, talk to Pastor Dave, talk to a member of our care team or our elders.

The church's desire and responsibility is to come alongside in your time of need.

Don't be afraid to ask.

Can the church cure loneliness?

Not only can it, I think it should.

We should provide a place for those who feel all alone.

We should support those in need physically and spiritually.

That's a challenge for us individually and as a church body.

And we do this by fostering respectful relationships through practical provision.

But third, Paul now turns to the issue of age.

He tells us, esteem your elders.

Esteem your elders.

Now, if you've not had a chance to visit our senior ministry, senior lunch recently, it is booming.

In fact, thank you to folks like Dave and Mary Palmer who lead that ministry, have led that ministry recently.

Thank you for everybody who serves that ministry to help it be a success.

Some months we have standing room only.

And that's a hugely important ministry because as more people move into retirement, into retirement communities around us, our seniors are a big mission field.

We need to show respect to our seniors.

We need our seniors.

Now this is challenging because you may feel and know that our American culture idolizes youth.

Does anybody else feel that?

It's not as big a problem in other cultures because they esteem their elders better than we do.

In other cultures, it's actually the opposite of American culture.

Have you seen the Disney movie Encanto?

Who runs the family and garners the respect in that movie?

Abuela, grandma.

Age and experience is something to be attained to.

But in America, people are always trying to look younger, stay younger, dress younger.

How much money do we spend trying to look younger than we actually are?

Advertisers want young people hooked on their products.

Politicians are trying to capture the youth vote.

At some point, you just need to act your age.

And this is a problem that's felt outside the church.

In fact, in a New York Times article, recently actress Frances McDormand spoke out against what she calls Hollywood and America's perverse fixation on youth.

She said this.

She said, Adulthood is not a goal.

It's not seen as a gift.

Something happened culturally.

No one's expected to age past 45 in terms of dress and cosmetics and attitudes.

Everybody dresses like a teenager.

Everybody dyes their hair.

Everybody's concerned about a smooth face.

Nobody wants to be an adult.

Well, let me just suggest we need more adults.

We need more people with life experience who can offer wisdom.

But if you are a senior...

Paul now offers you a challenge.

He writes this in verse 9.

He says, Now, notice here that Paul offers further qualifications for supporting widows, and the first one has to do with age.

Now, you might say, why?

Why is 60 the cutoff here?

Some of you are saying 60 is young, right?

Well, in Roman society, age 60 at that time was thought to be the cutoff for widows to remarry.

Or if you were under age 60, you could potentially work.

In other words, if you were under 60, you could fend for yourself or you could find another husband.

So the age requirement was an issue of qualification.

The church had limited resources and wanted to steward them well.

They wanted to help those who really needed it.

needed it.

Now, what's interesting is that Paul offers some more qualifications that sound kind of like the deacons we read about in chapter 3.

The widow should be a one-man woman, the wife of one husband.

Her life should be marked by fidelity in her marriage.

Her reputation should be one of good works.

What are those good works?

Well, she's raising a family.

She's hospitable.

She's washing the feet of saints, which was an ancient custom of showing honor.

She helped those in need.

And then in verse 10, he gives a summary.

She devotes herself to good work and good deeds.

Now, you might be asking, well, why is there such a long list of qualifications for these widows?

And again, I think Paul's offering a type of policy of who should be prioritized in support since the church has limited resources.

Now, here at NBC, we have many widows who served our church well.

I think of Linda Kubler, who serves tirelessly in our hospitality ministry.

In fact, if you ever see flowers on the stage, that's Linda's work.

I think of Barbara Zellman, who's since passed on, but she served our church for decades, teaching the scriptures and loving on people.

Betty Gallagher's turning 100 next month and she's here worshiping Jesus to the end.

These are models of good works.

But these two verses offer a challenge to us in our senior years.

I think what Paul is saying is pursue godly character to the end.

Don't retire from serving.

And I will say again, we have so many people here at MBC who have run the race well.

You are worthy of honor and respect and keep going.

That as long as you're drawing breath, God is going to use you.

And here at NBC, we need you.

We need your wisdom.

We need your heart for God's church.

We need your voice.

We have so many people who have been here serving faithfully for decades through pastoral changes, through church conflicts, through building purchases and repairs.

You have remained faithful.

Think of people like Mark Melillo and Linda Rigdon and Linda Clark who have taught our 5th and 6th graders for decades.

Jim and Jerry Romaine, who served NBC in more ways than I can count, from missions to little footprints to Stephen ministry, thank you for your sacrifice.

Thank you for allowing us to stand on your shoulders.

And at the same time, I would challenge all of us, may the characteristics of 1 Timothy 5, 9, and 10 describe you to the end.

Author Paul Tripp writes this convicting question in his devotional Everyday Gospel.

He says, At the end of your life, will you ask God to remember all you have done in His name?

Or will you hope He forgets the life you have lived?

A life well lived is a life lived for the glory and kingdom of God.

Is that what you're living for?

Can the church cure loneliness?

Yes.

But there's one more guideline before we finish.

One more guideline.

Paul now turns to the younger widows and challenges them.

Participate with purpose.

Participate with purpose.

Now, verse 9 and 10 serve as a guideline for the type of widow the church should support, but they also serve as an example for younger widows to follow.

And Paul has some seemingly sharp words for younger widows in the final verses of this chapter.

He writes this in verse 11.

He says, And you say, whoa, whoa, whoa, Paul.

Hold up here, Paul.

What do you have against the younger widows, right?

Don't they deserve help as well?

And I know at face value in the English, that verse sounds harsh.

But there's more to his reasoning here.

It was common for enrolled widows in the care of the church to take a pledge of singleness.

That's that word faith at the end, the Greek word pistis.

That's what he's kind of referring to is this pledge that they're taking in this context.

And it's most likely that Paul thought the younger widows who could remarry should not be bound by this pledge because his concern was that they would not be able to keep this oath of singleness and would marry anyway.

Possibly to an unbeliever, and they would be bringing judgment on themselves and be walking away from Jesus.

Now, Paul highlights more concerns in verses 13 to 15.

He writes this,"...beside that, they learned to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not." Paul is very concerned about people going after the devil in this letter.

His concern in verse 13 is that younger widows would not be able to concentrate on responsible service.

That they would get distracted by worldly concerns.

They would be idols and gossipers and busybodies.

Now, the idea of gossip right here conveys a meaning of speech similar to how Paul's been describing the false teachers in this letter, which has been a major theme.

In fact, it might mean that these women have been won over by the false teachers and already abandoned the true gospel.

In fact, he says in verse 15, some have already strayed after Satan.

They're outside the faith.

The point is there is a lack of productive service to the kingdom.

Now, do you know anybody in your life who's been caught up with false teaching?

Do you know anyone who has gotten into a relationship that has taken them away from the Lord?

Romantic relationships are a powerful thing.

And if you get involved with somebody who doesn't love Jesus, you can easily stray from the faith.

And so let me say this, both to the young ladies and young men, romantic relationships do not define you.

Never allow a romantic relationship to become more important than Jesus himself.

And certainly do not get caught with a non-believer who takes you away from Christ.

Author Thaddeus Williams notes that romantic love can easily become an idol in our lives.

He writes this in his book, Reflect.

He says, is it possible to make an idol or even a whole religion out of romantic love?

He says, consider these lines from popular songs.

I'm going to build my whole world around you.

You're all that matters.

The temptations back in the 60s.

If you believe in each other, there's nothing we can't do.

That's Celine Dion.

You're my religion.

You're my church.

You're my holy grail at the end of my search.

That's Sting.

She tells me, worship in the bedroom.

The only heaven I'll be sent is when I'm alone with you.

That's Hozier.

And just to be clear, that last song is not about church.

Paul was concerned that something or someone would take the place of Jesus in the lives of these young widows.

It would influence their actions and they would not become the type of widow the church could support with their limited resources.

And that's why he talks about the character of the older widows in verses 9 and 10 first.

That this is something the young widow should aspire toward.

By the way, not just those widows, but all of us should aspire toward those characters.

And then in verse 14, Paul offers a solution.

He says, raise your family in the Lord.

And as anybody who has children knows, they keep you busy.

There's much less time to get yourself in trouble with worldly affairs when you're chasing after your kids and trying to teach them about Jesus.

And I would highlight your family is your first mission field.

Raise your children to know and love Jesus.

That is building the kingdom of God here on earth.

This is a way to participate in the kingdom of God with purpose.

Paul returns to the widows for one final thought in verse 16.

He says, So Paul offers this final call to participate with purpose in caring for the widows who truly need it.

Now, earlier in verse 8, Paul offered a challenge to the men to care for those in their household.

Make sure you provide for your family.

But in verse 16 now, he speaks specifically to the women, the daughters and the daughter-in-laws.

Take care of the widows in your family.

Why?

Because the church has limited resources, and they need to be directed to those who don't have relatives to step in.

Now, you might be asking, what does this all mean for me?

How does this apply?

I mean, I'm not a widow.

I don't know, widows.

Well, there's three key principles from this passage I would want you to take away.

Three principles that should guide you individually and us corporately as we think about our caring ministries and our caring actions.

This passage captures the essence of benevolence ministry for the Christian.

Benevolence simply means to perform kind and charitable acts to give generously.

First, When it comes to care, family are the first responders.

Now, what does that look like for you?

I want to challenge you individually to think about benevolence.

Are there ways you need to provide for your family now?

Are there future preparations you need to make to care for your parents and grandparents?

God puts us in families and gives responsibilities to us to care for them, so take some time to plan.

If there are needs down the road, planning can make a big difference.

It can help your loved one feel cared for and not alone.

By being proactive, you are participating in God's ministry of care with purpose.

And there's a beauty in the sacred duty to care for your parents who once cared for you.

Second, the church is the second line safety net.

In other words, we can't help everyone, so we need to care for the people when their relatives cannot help.

Now, at NBC, we have two monetary funds that serve in this capacity.

First, we have an encouragement fund, which focuses on smaller gifts to help people with things like groceries or let them know we're thinking about them, and generally, those gifts are$500 or less.

Second, we do have a benevolence fund to assist with larger needs, and much like Paul outlined his process here for choosing widows to support, we do have a benevolence team and an application to assess widows who we will help.

If you're in need of assistance, you can contact Gary Isler, who heads up that team.

And then finally, Paul calls us to prioritize care for the most vulnerable among us.

And in this passage, widows are the case study.

But there are more marginalized people.

Ask yourself this week, are there vulnerable people I can help?

Are there ministries that serve the vulnerable I can support?

All of our local partner ministries, including Feeding Hands, help the vulnerable.

First Choice protects the unborn.

Young Lives helps teenage moms.

City Relief helps the unhoused.

Market Street Mission ministers to those in addiction.

A ministry like Johnny and Friends cares for the disabled.

How can you prioritize the vulnerable?

And when you do, ministry to the lonely will come center stage.

So can the church cure loneliness?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, it can.

If we follow God's guidelines for the family, respectful relationships, practical provision, esteeming your elders, and participating with purpose.

And by living that out, we become the hands and feet of Jesus to those we love.

I'm going to invite the worship team to come back for one final song.

And as they come, I want to offer an illustration, a final illustration that highlights, again, our need for human connection.

And to do that, I'll call on Captain Kirk himself.

In William Shatner's new book, Boldly Go, Reflections on a Life of Awe and Wonder, the Star Trek actor reflects on his voyage into space on Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin space shuttle in October of 2021.

Then 90 years old, imagine 90 years old, Shatner became the oldest living person to travel into space.

But as the actor and author details, He was surprised by his own reaction to the experience.

He wrote this.

He said, And he writes this, I had a different experience because I discovered that the beauty isn't out there, it's down here with all of us.

Leaving that behind made my connection to our tiny planet even more profound.

Can the church cure loneliness?

If we follow Paul's guidelines for relational respect, practical provision, esteeming our elders, and participating with purpose, we can.

Let's pray.

Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for your word.

We thank you for the challenge it gives us to be generous, to care for those in our sphere of influence.

And Lord, I pray for those in the audience today who are lonely, those that need provision.

Lord, I pray that you would help them to know that you see them.

Like Hagar in the desert, Lord, you see them.

You are the God who sees.

And I pray that right now you would minister to them where they are.

I pray that you would move on folks in their family, folks in the church, Lord.

to help in times of need.

But as always, help us to remember, Lord, that you provided for us by sending your son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross so we could be adopted into your family.

And there is nothing impossible with you, Lord.

May you meet us where we are and help us.

And may we have trust in you for that, in Jesus' name.

Amen.