Husbands & Wives, Christ & The Church, Part II, 10/26/25

I'd like to continue the sermon from last week

on Husbands and Wives, Christ and the Church,

Part 2. Our text today will be first from the

book of Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 22 to 33.

Ephesians 5:22–33

And then we will also consider a few passages

from 1 Peter 3. Now, just a quick word as we

get into this. If you're a person here and you're

not married, even though this sermon is on marriage,

may it also give you encouragement, may it give

you wisdom, and if you're young, may it give

you something to look forward to and to prepare

for. So I encourage you to heed it carefully

as well. Here's the word of the Lord, beginning

in verse 22 of chapter 5 of Ephesians. Wives,

submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For

the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ

is head of the church, and he is the Savior of

the body. Therefore, as the church is subject

to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands

in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just

as Christ also loved the church and gave himself

for her. that he might sanctify and cleanse her

with the washing of the water by the word, that

he might present her to himself a glorious church,

not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,

but that she should be holy and without blemish.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as

their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves

himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh,

but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord

does the church. For we are members of his body,

of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason,

a man shall leave his father and mother and be

joined to his wife, and the two shall become

one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak

concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless,

let each one of you in particular So love his

own wife as himself and let the wife see that

she respects her husband. Let's bow together

for prayer. Father, thank you for these words.

Lord, thank you for the clarity of this passage

in Ephesians. But Lord, at the same time, we

pray that you would give us greater understanding

and we pray that you would give us obedient hearts.

We ask, Lord, that you would fill us with the

wisdom that we need, but also, Lord, help us

to act on that wisdom and not just to take it

in as something esoteric or as something just

that it's food for the mind, but rather that

it would affect our actions and our attitudes

and our love one for each other. Lord, we pray

that as a result of this, you would increase

the flame of love between husbands and wives

even much more. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.

It is the will and the command of God that in

the normal course of human events, man and woman

should be united in marriage, in holy matrimony.

This marriage is to reflect the glorious mystery

of Christ and of his bride, the church. Now,

I've already spoken of the purposes for marriage

from creation, and then we started looking at

the components of marriage, which is that a man

and a woman must come together in holy matrimony,

and they are joined together by covenant and

become one flesh. This union, this holy and mysterious

action, is a living illustration of the union

of Christ and of his church. Now last week I

listed four parallels between Christ and the

church from this passage and I spoke on two of

them. But I missed one. And so today I plan to

speak on the other three. So there are five parallels.

Last week we looked at these two. The husband

is the head of his wife as Christ is head of

the church. We see the parallel between the two.

And also then husbands are to love their wives

as Christ loves the church. I'd like to follow

up in the last three from this passage. That

is these three. Husbands are to love their wives

as their own bodies, just like Christ loves his

body, the church. Second, a man is to leave his

father and mother and be joined to his wife.

This is paralleled by the fact that Christian

believers, by faith, are united with Christ,

members of Christ's body, of his flesh, and of

his bones. This is from verses 30 and 31. And

then finally, just as the church is subject to

Christ, being in submission to him, so also the

wife is to be to her own husband as to the Lord.

This is from verse 22, verse 24, and spoken of

at the very end of verse 33. So looking at these,

desired here that the Lord would show us, give

us great clarity on this in the blessing and

the healing and the working in our own marriages.

If I have time, I also hope to dig into 1 Peter

3 a little bit, but I didn't read it because

I'm not sure if I'm going to have time. So if

I get there and I have time, then I'll read it

and make some comments about it. But I do want

to point out, though, that the final exhortation

in 1 Peter 3 is one that we do well to consider

as we're looking at the component parts. Looking

here at the husband, the wife, their relationship

to each other and how it differs. but there's

also to be a mutual love and an understanding

and a submission to Christ together. Well, in

1 Peter chapter 3, after he discusses in verses

1 Peter 3 · chapter mention

1 to 6 about women, and then in verse 7 to men,

he then says these wonderful words in verses

8 to 9. He says that all should be of one mind,

having compassion for one another. Love as brothers.

Be tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning

evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on

the contrary, wise blessing, knowing that you

were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

So now keep this in mind because as we are married

together, we are husband and we are wives. There's

husbands, there's wives, but we are also one

in Christ. We are brothers and sisters in Christ

as well as being a husband and a wife. And there

are certain qualities, there are certain things

that should be present in all of us as we are

married together. And Peter speaks of these.

He says we're to be of one mind. That is, we

strive to be of one mind in these things, to

have a common understanding, not only of the

relationships of marriage, but over a Christian

doctrine. We try to be of one mind. mind and

we are also to have compassion one for another

and so as we think about when i speak to the

men uh and you know i don't want you to get puffed

up and say look at me here or really be down

oh man i can never do this but have compassion

one for another so wives let's have some compassion

for our husbands they do need it honestly we

do sometimes but at the same time men let's have

compassion for our wives in what god has given

to them They face things that we don't, both

the same and the other. Right now, there's a

few pregnant women that are here, and you're

blessed with bearing a child. This is something

that a man will never understand. He will never

understand the pain, the emotional upheaval,

and all that goes in, the changing of your body

and of bearing another human being. So have compassion

on her. So together we have compassion one with

another. We are to love, love fondly. The scripture

says here, love as brothers. That is, there's

to be a close love. And with that love comes

tenderheartedness with each other and courtesy.

Yeah, you know what, men? You're supposed to

be courteous to your wives and wives courteous

to your husband. Courtesy, even just common courtesy

will go a long way in building up your relationship

together. Courteous. And on top of that. Not

returning evil for evil or reviling for reliving.

Well, you said this to me and you were angry,

so I can be angry back at you or whatever else

it might be. We're not to return evil for evil.

The fact that your husband sins does not give

you the right to sin and vice versa, or the right

that one shouts at the other. So we shout back

or we get into conflict and feelings and all

of these things. We're not to return evil for

evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary,

blessing. We are called to this so that we might

inherit a blessing. Now, all of that is just

dessert because we're going to get into the meat

of things. But I think it's crucial for us to

understand this, that as we look at the component

parts, it's all framed by this type of living

together. I would to God that every home that

is in this congregation would reflect this kind

of qualities, that we would be of one mind, that

we would have compassion for one another, that

we would love each other sincerely, that we would

be tenderhearted towards each other, that we

would extend common and Christian courtesy to

one another. That we would not return evil for

evil or reviling for reviling, but that we would

bless one another, even when the other one isn't

doing what they ought to. And knowing that we

are called to this so that we might inherit a

blessing. Now, there are two other things that

are noteworthy before we get into the meat of

the sermon. One is this. Our marriages are a

testimony to the world how Jesus loves his church.

Let me say that again. Our marriages are a testimony

of how Jesus loves his church. If your marriage

is terrible, filled with disobedience to the

word, with fighting and discord, rebellion, hatred

or envy and strife, or if it is cold and distant

and harsh, then we are giving a picture, but

it's not a good one. It is not a good one. We

are giving a wrong picture of Christ and of his

church to the world. But on the other side, if

our marriages are lovely, if they are of good

report, if they are a wonderful example of unity,

of love, of faith and hope, of problem solving,

of repentance and forgiveness for wrongs committed,

then it bears witness to the glory and the well

-being of the church and of Christ. It is a demonstration

of it and not a deterrent to it. Second, and

this is, in a way related to marriage. Today

is Reformation Sunday. It is a day in which we

remember the great work of God done in the 16th

century that brought renewal, revival, and a

renewed interest in the Holy Scriptures. This

was a work of the Holy Spirit, and we rejoice

today and continue in the apostolic teaching

that was greatly revived and renewed in the Protestant

Reformation. But did you know that this reformation

also brought about a reformation in marriage?

Yes, it did. Well, first, priests in the church

were no longer required to be celibate, but were

able to take a wife. Marriage also came to be

understood as a divine institution of God and

not as a sacrament. Now, there's a difference

here. So the Roman Catholic Church taught that

marriage was a sacrament. And therefore, no divorce

was ever allowed. It was only an annulment would

be a possibility. And there were some results

from that. And when it came to be understood

that this is a divine institution by God, but

that God also frames it. Now, follow with me

here. actually then permitted divorce in cases

of adultery and abandonment now what this did

we might think oh okay is that right well actually

yes it is because it's it provides greater accountability

what happened is that it became a restraint to

men in violating the covenant and especially

in abusing their wives without restraint and

discipline Reformers like Luther stressed the

husband's duty to love his wife sacrificially

as Christ loves the church. John Calvin similarly

emphasized mutual fidelity and care, but he also

strongly condemned domestic cruelty, which was

a big problem. It was a huge problem. Wife beating

was a thing. And not just something that was

common, that was just every now and then. No,

it was very common. Luther got heavily involved

in a situation of a fairly well -known cook who

beat his wife regularly for years. And eventually

through the changes that came, he was able to

be brought before court and condemned for what

he did. And there were sanctions applied to him.

Reformation churches, also then created oversight

bodies. Like there was something in Geneva, which

is where Calvin was, called Geneva's Consistory,

and it was a moral court that heard marital complaints,

including abuse, and admonished husbands to cease

violence under threat of civil penalties. Geneva

became known for its justice and its safeguards

for those abused. with these protections. Some

even went to so far as to call it a woman's paradise.

So just very interesting and an anecdotal note

on reformational thinking and how it impacted

marriages. But also on this day. The second day

in October, two years ago, this congregation

met for the first time. So we also rejoice with

that. And we stand in amazement at wonder at

what God has done, for indeed it is him and not

us. And so we praise him and we worship him.

Soli Deo Gloria. To God be the glory. With that,

let's move into the passage. Going back now to

Ephesians chapter 5, beginning in verse 28 and

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

29, point number 1. The husband is to love his

wife like his own body, as the Lord does the

church. The husband is to love his wife like

his own body. So husbands ought to love their

own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his

wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his

own flesh. but nourishes and cherishes it just

as the Lord does the church. So what does it

mean to love her? Because there's a number of

words for loves in Greek in the New Testament.

And we also use love in a whole number of ways.

You might say, I love the ice cream. Okay, well,

the love that you feel for ice cream is entirely

different than the love you should feel for your

wife. There's a big difference. There's all sorts

of things where we say, I love this or I love

that. We love one another here in the congregation.

But again, the love of a wife has depths and

differences to it than that it does of loving

his brothers and sisters in the church. So what

does love here speak of? Let's first of all look

at the definition. This love is a welcoming love.

It is a love that means to be fond of and to

love dearly. So husbands, you are to be fond

of your wife. You are to love her dearly. You

are to be well pleased with her. And this is

the big one, and contented with her. Contentment

is the foundation that guards against many of

the other lusts and desires. if you have contentment

you're not going to commit adultery you're not

going to wish for somebody else and go and seek

somebody else or go to a harlot for satisfaction

if you are content with your wife then you and

you love her that's part of what this love means

you're contented with her but it is also a sacrificial

love It's the kind of love spoken of by Paul

to the Corinthians where he says that in abundantly

loving them, he would very gladly spend and be

spent for their souls. This is in 2 Corinthians

12 and verse 15. He would spend and be spent

for their souls. This is a sacrificial love where

husbands, this is to the husbands, husbands,

you are to be willing to spend and be spent for.

your wife. Now that doesn't just mean spending

your money, even though that's part of it. You

are to spend your money on behalf of your wife.

You're to provide for her. But at the same time,

you are to have an attitude of blessing her,

of spending yourself for her sake. It is the

kind of love, 1 John says in chapter 3 and verse

18, that is not only in word or tongue, but is

in deed and in truth. You cannot just say to

your wife, Oh, honey, I love you. I love you

so much. And then you don't spend yourself for

her in actual deeds that show that you love her

or in the truth of it. They become empty words

if they're only in word or tongue, but not in

deed or truth. So that describes the kind of

love that is commanded here. It is a welcoming

love, a fond love, and it is also a sacrificial

love, spending and being spent. So, but you're

to love her, Paul says here, the word of God

says, like your own body. The love that a man

has for his own life and for his own body in

providing for his needs, his food, his shelter,

and even his likes and his dislikes is now how

he is supposed to love his wife. Just like a

man does not typically want to be hurting himself

needlessly or tearing himself down or diminishing

himself, but has even what we would call a self

-interest in seeing to his own well -being. so

also he must do in equal measure to his wife,

loving her, not hurting her, building her up,

exalting her, seeing to her well -being, providing

tender care and shelter and food and all of her

needs. Now this also shows that our bodies...

are to be cared for, not mistreated, not hated,

not destroyed through addictions or through will

worship or false worship, teaching for doctrine,

the commandments of men that are not the word

of God. And we see this in times when we look

in history. You know, for example, I'm going

to seek salvation by lying on a bed of nails

or by crawling barefoot through glass or other

things like that. No, we're to care for our own

bodies. That is part of accepting and understanding

that this body that God has given to me is good.

And yeah, I mean, we do fall on things and we

experience certain things, but it's still, it's

intrinsically, or it is designed by God as to

be good and to be cared for. And so also we are

to do to our wives. God created us. We are to

take care of his creation. That means our bodies

and it means also our wives. This means... When

you look here and follow in this, Paul explains

this even further. He says, he who loves his

wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his

own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it,

just as the Lord does the church. So let's look

at these words, nourish and cherish. So nourish

your like -minded body means to nurture or to

cause growth. We nourish our bodies by eating

in order to survive, to be healthy and not malnourished,

that our bodies flourish and become more mature.

we see that our needs are met and that we grow

this word nourish is the same word as used in

Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4 where fathers

Ephesians 6 · chapter mention

are not to provoke their children to wrath but

to bring them up bring them up same word in the

training in the admonition of the Lord so it's

something here that where we eat we do all of

these things we care for ourselves in order that

we might grow and flourish so also a husband

is to nourish his wife so that she matures, so

that she grows, so that her needs are satisfied,

so that she advances in her own personal life.

That's what we're looking at here in nourishing.

And then he is to cherish her. Now this word

cherish, actually the literal meaning of it is

he keeps her warm. He keeps her warm. It's to

keep her warm. And so this we apply to taking

care to shelter, protection, and keeping, as

we do our own bodies, to keeping them warm. So

it also is to surround our wife with an environment

of tender love and care, of protection and of

warmth. This certainly means providing well.

making sure her needs are met, including food

and clothing. But it also carries with it the

idea of security, that she is loved, knowing

that she is loved by you, that you will keep

her safe and not hurt her, that you will listen

to her concerns, and you will provide for her

well -being. And this is not just for physical

needs, but it includes emotional and spiritual.

Both a husband and a wife have needs that only

the other can provide. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians

7 and verse 3, let the husband render to his

wife the affection due her and likewise also

the wife to her husband. Your wife. men, is do

your affection. And this doesn't mean just in

intimate matters, but it is in all of life. Your

affection and care for her, your love, that she

is the love of your life. And so you are to rejoice

with her, like the wise man says in Proverbs

Proverbs 5:18

5, verse 18, you're to be enraptured with her

love and not with an immoral woman or a seductress.

Proverbs 5, 19, verse 20. This then goes on,

or this then instructs us as we derive from this,

that harsh, mean, degrading, down -putting, demeaning

words all destroy this. Physical abuse destroys

this. Sexual abuse destroys this. And rather

than making her beautiful, being nourished and

cherished, she then withdraws, is hurt, is put

down and is in stress and hardship because of

wicked actions. So take care as we nourish, as

we cherish, as we love that you treat her well,

just as you treat your own body. Just as you

don't abuse or beat or browbeat or manipulate

or degrade your own body, so also you cannot

do this to your wife, the one that you are to

nourish, to cherish, and to love. Now all of

this is again a picture of how Christ loves his

church. All that I just described here, then

there's a different dimension to it, certainly,

because Christ is in heaven and we are here and

Christ does not dwell with us in bodily form

sitting right here. But he does dwell with us

and he feeds us. He provides for us. We look

at all of the glories that Jesus gives to us

as we love him and we worship him. I mean, just

think about it. And this is something that we've

been learning. As we sit here and we worship

together, not only do we give unto God praise

and glory, but Christ also feeds us. He feeds

us with his word. He grants us the spirit of

God that accompanies the eating of the bread

and the drinking of the wine. Because this is

part where he imparts to us. We receive from

him and we also give to him. He gives, we respond.

That's what worship, what the Lord's Day service

is all about. It is Christ feeding us and we

giving our worship to him and responding to him.

But so Christ does, it says here, the Lord does

not hate us. He does not hate us or he would

be hating his own flesh. He does not hate us.

He loves us with a sacrificial love. He nourishes

us. He gives us food. And he gives us all the

provisions that we all enjoy in our physical

comforts. And he cherishes us. He draws us close.

He provides for us. He gives us comfort when

we go through difficult times. He gives us encouragement

sometimes through other brothers or other sisters.

But it comes through Christian love and charity

that is extended to us in the body. The Lord

loves his body. And so also is a man to love

his wife. These are the parallels and they go

together hand in hand. Just as the Lord does

the church, so also we are to do this. Finally,

then under this and loving your wife. We are

also then to live with her as a fellow heir of

the grace of life. And I'd like to speak to that

just a moment as we consider this matter of loving

as our own body. Because she is also a fellow

heir together with us. And this comes from the

book of 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 7. So I'm

1 Peter 3 · chapter mention

going to take this and apply it. Husbands, likewise,

dwell with them, that is your wives, with understanding.

giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel

and as being heirs together of the grace of life.

Why? That your prayers be not hindered. This

is really an incredible verse. I think we need

to expand this a little more. And ladies, if

we don't get to your part in this today, we just

won't. But I want to really drive this home to

us. Husbands. We are to dwell with our wives

with understanding. That is, we're to know her.

We're to know her strengths. We're to understand

her weaknesses and her temptations to sin. And

in all of that, we are to live in an understanding

way. That is, you appreciate and value the strengths

that she has and you do not lay unnecessary burdens

on her that exacerbate or make greater her weaknesses

and her temptations. You live with her with understanding

in an understanding way. This includes, number

two, from this passage, giving. her honor. You

give her honor. That is, you treat her with special

kindness and with respect. You understand that

she is physically weaker than you. I mean, that's

99, but there's obviously a very, very small

infinitesimal chance that that might not be.

But in practically all cases, men are simply

stronger than women. They can do things. That's

one of the problems where in some of the, like

in some of the army thing and firefighting things

that really should just be for men, they had

to lower the standards so that the women could

achieve parity with the men because otherwise

they just couldn't. They're designed differently.

And that's by God, by creation. So understand

that she is physically weaker than you. The passage

speaks about as to the weaker vessel. And so

you honor her with your attention. You honor

her in listening to her. You honor her in asking

counsel of her, into taking her into your thought

processes. You seek her wisdom. You know that

when you make rash mistakes, especially in financial

matters, she will experience pain and trials

because of your decisions. This happens, brothers.

I speak from experience. This also forbids manipulation

and control or withholding affection in order

to get what you want. Oh, we have so many devious

ways. of being selfish and trying to get our

own way. We can have such subtle ways sometimes

of just a tone of voice that we can use where

we can, did you know you can even use a tone

of voice to manipulate and control? Yes, you

can. And I'm not speaking just about in anger,

also that hurt thing, that hurt vibe that we

can put on to try and elicit pity and get her

to do something she doesn't want to do because

we're feeling hurt about it. You can just go

on and on in looking at the different ways in

which we, in our fallen state, we can control,

we can manipulate, we can do anything but giving

honor and treating her with the special kindness

and respect that she deserves. By this, women

sin. So what I'm doing is, what I'm saying in

all of this is, You're commanded to do this,

but your wife will sin. Just like men sin and

they have their issues, so do women. You know,

back in the Victorian days, there was often this

thing of where women were just so, they were

the lofty creatures. They were the spiritual

ones and men were the brutes. And there was really

a big mischaracterization that was going on in

some of those things. And of course, when you

look at the temperance movement and... Yeah,

there are men who are brutes, but there's also

really some very crazy sinful women too in very

bad ways. All I'm saying here in this is when

the scripture speaks to the man as to how you're

to treat your wife, it's not like she is some

especially sanctified or sainted individual that

can do no wrong. We're going to deal with women's

sins as well. We will. The point is here that

the scripture calls you to honor her. To honor

her as a weaker vessel. But you also honor her

as a sister in Christ. As a sister in Christ.

She is an heir of Christ like you are. You together

are heirs of the grace of life. which I believe

is speaking of the grace of Christ that comes

through life. She is your sister in Christ. And

as a Christian, she is an heir of the kingdom

according to the hope of eternal life. Titus

Titus 3:7

3 verse 7. She is a partaker of the promises

in Christ through the gospel. Ephesians 3 and

verse 6. As a sister in Christ, she is your equal.

She is entitled to all the hopes and the promises

that come through the Christian faith. She has

the same privileges. She has the same comforts.

She receives the same privileges and rewards

in heaven. Her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit

just like yours is. And she was bought with the

same price, the precious blood of Christ. So

treat her as your sister in Christ with honor

and respect. And this is all said here in this

verse. He ends with this somewhat cryptic statement,

but he says that your prayers be not hindered,

that your prayers be not hindered. What does

this mean? Well, Peter doesn't go on to explain

much of this other than just the fact that when

you are at odds with each other, when husbands,

you are not dwelling. together with your wife

with understanding, giving honor to them and

being heirs as being heirs together the grace

of life, then your prayers are being hindered.

Well, we get an insight into this if we go back

to Malachi 2. Remember last week, we looked at

Malachi chapter 2. So let's look at this again,

Malachi 2 · chapter mention

because here is a description of prayers being

hindered. This is in verse 13 and 14 in Malachi

2. And Malachi, the prophet here, was giving

an exhortation as to why God was not answering

their prayers. And he was cataloging the things

that they were done. But here is what he says.

This is the second thing you do. You cover the

altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and

crying. So he does not regard the offering anymore,

nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.

Yet you say, for what reason? Why is this happening?

Why isn't God hearing me? Malachi answers and

he says, because the Lord has been witness between

you and the wife of your youth with whom you

have dealt treacherously. Yet she is your companion

and your wife by covenant. When you're breaking

the covenant, when you're not living with her

in this kind of a way, when you're not treating

her as a fellow sister, an heir of Christ, and

as your companion, your prayers are hindered.

God looks here in this. He was saying, I'm not

going to regard their offering anymore. I'm not

going to receive it with goodwill because you

have dealt treacherously with your wife. I think

that this has bearing on the 1 Peter 3 passage,

on your prayers being hindered. Finally, men,

she is your glory. She is your glory. And this

we get from 1 Corinthians chapter 11. I need

1 Corinthians 11 · chapter mention

to move on here, but this is an important one,

so I'm going to look at this as well. 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 11 · chapter mention

chapter 11 and verse 7. For a man ought not to

cover his head. So this is speaking here, I believe,

in public worship. He ought not to cover his

head, since he is the image and the glory of

God. But woman is the glory of man. Now again,

as I said before, I'm not going to get into all

of the ins and outs of this passage. it would

take probably a series of sermons to really deal

with all of the implications. So I'm just going

to lift this one out, but not out of context,

I hope, and just saying that, woman, wives, you're

the glory of your husband. Husband, your wife

is your glory. When you mistreat her, you're

actually hurting your glory. Her face doesn't

shine with glory. She is not radiant because...

Of your treatment to her. So treat her in that

way. As we look at all of these. It all points

to this. That your wife is your glory. All right.

Number two. A man is to leave his father and

mother. And be joined to his wife. And the two

shall become one. And this we see as Christ.

is also we are Christ's body. We are united with

him. This is the parallel. Excuse me. Verse 30

through 32. So in marriage, a man is to leave

his father and his mother. He is to leave his

father and his mother. He can no longer stay

in the same capacity as when he was living as

a son in his home. In his parents home. He now

is to leave them. And so marriage therefore is

the creation and the formation of a new household.

You're creating a new household through the act

of marriage. This begins with the man leaving

his parents. This does not mean dishonoring them.

But it does mean that now. he is beginning a

separate household and that his first love after

Christ is to be his wife. He is now to be devoted

to her. This is done by, as the scripture says

here, by being joined to his wife and being one

flesh. In being joined to his wife, I believe

this is speaking of the marriage covenant. In

the marriage covenant, he promises to forsake

all others and to love her supremely. He vows

before God to fulfill his responsibilities to

her and she reciprocates with the appropriate

vows of a wife to him. These marriage vows, at

least if they're properly done, are actually

an oath before God. It is in a sense... swearing

to this because swearing or an oath is saying

something with confirmation to God and multiple

witnesses. And so that's what a marriage vow

is. You're saying this vow to each other. I will

do this. I will do this before God and before

all of these witnesses. It's one of the reasons

why a marriage ceremony is important and ceremonies

can look differently. Doesn't all have to necessarily

use the same wording, but it needs to be that.

Firm commitment that vow to one another before

God and with witnesses. But marriage also, this

joining also includes becoming one flesh. This

is sexual union. Without the vow, this act is

fornication and is sinful. 1 Corinthians 6, 15

and 16. Do you not know that your bodies are

members of Christ? Shall I then take the members

of Christ and make them members of a harlot?

Certainly not. Or do you not know that he who

is joined to a harlot is one body with her, for

the two, he says, shall become one flesh. But

there's not a marriage vow there. And so therefore

it's sinful. The act is sinful. He goes on to

say in 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 18, flee sexual

immorality. Flee it. But with the vow, this coming

together is right, it is good, and it is proper.

It is the way children are brought into the world.

The covenant is established for future generation

as God desires godly seed, that is descendants

who will worship God and will multiply on the

earth, fulfilling God's command to replenish

the earth and having dominion over it. This union

between a man and a woman, between a wife and

a husband, is much more though than a physical

act. It is also a great mystery. There are things

at play here that we do not fully understand.

Paul says, when he ends this, as he comes closer

to the end here, It says the two shall become

one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak

concerning Christ and the church. So drawing

from this, we understand that a husband and a

wife and being joined together in a mysterious

way. So also we as believers in Christ are members

of Christ's body. Even here it says in back in

verse 30, we are members of his body of his flesh

and of his bones. This is very similar language

to what Adam said when Eve was created in Genesis

Genesis 2:23

chapter 2, verse 23. This is now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman

because she was taken out of man. And so the

similar language is being used here of Christ,

of the mystery of Christ in the church. Now,

because it's a mystery, I can't tell you all

about it. because I don't know all the ins and

outs. This is withheld from us in some ways.

But in a wonderful and mysterious way that as

Christ died for us and redeemed us, we as believers

in Christ are united together with him. We are

united. We live in union with Christ. Jesus describes

this in the book of John, chapter 15, 1 through

John 15 · chapter mention

5. He describes himself as... The true vine and

we believers are in the branches and that we

must abide in him for spiritual life and fruitfulness.

We abide in Christ. He is the vine. We are the

branches. We are united together. We are together

in this. Also, he then says, apart from me, you

can do nothing. Verse five. We are members of

one body with Christ as the head. Through baptism,

we are all made to drink of one spirit and thus

are united together in Christ's body. This is

in 1 Corinthians 12, verse 12 and 13. Our old

1 Corinthians 12:12

selves have been crucified with Christ so that

it is no longer we who live. but Christ who lives

on us. Therefore, we can no longer follow after

the former desires and lusts of the flesh. Just

like when we are married, we are united together

and we can no longer follow after former desires

and lusts of the flesh. We are united together.

So in marriage, we are no longer free to go after

others or to lust after them or to long for them.

Not that we were afraid to lust at any time,

but there's a difference. When you're a young

man and you're looking, you're looking at various

women, you're evaluating as to whether this one

might be suitable for you as a wife. Not lusting,

but in just looking because right now you're

seeing who the Lord would have for you and who

is suitable for you. But once you're married,

that's it. You're united together with the one.

That you have chosen and together you live according

to God's ordinances. We have been united with

each other and we have that devotion, that loyalty,

and that protective care of each other. We are

to act in this way for a wonderful, a glorious,

and a harmonious marriage that reflects and illustrates

the glories of being united to Christ. As I said,

there are mysterious elements of this that we

do not know. But all that I've just given to

you, much of that was just directly from the

pages of Scripture that talk about our union

with Christ, being part of the vine, being baptized

together. Well, ladies, I'm just not going to

be able to get to your part today. But hopefully

this was instructive and edifying. So let me

wrap up here with just a couple applications.

Husbands, since it's you I've been talking to,

if you value your wife and the commitment that

she has made to love you, respect you and submit

to you, then it falls to you to walk worthy of

that love and respect and submission. Let that

weigh upon you in a good way. Sometimes there's

a saying, not sometimes, there is a saying, and

I use it sometimes, especially if I'm talking

to younger men, but men pull better when they

have a load. When something is placed on them,

God has designed them to bear the yoke, the burden

that is laid on them, and they find great fulfillment

in doing that. Otherwise, if you don't have a

yoke on you, if you don't have a burden of responsibility,

you become aimless. And kind of worthless. And

that's why you end up having 30 -year -olds in

their parents' basement just playing hours and

hours and hours and hours of video games. They're

filling up their time when instead they should

be carrying the yoke in their youth. So as we

consider that understanding, this is your yoke

right here when it comes to your wife. If you

love your wife, if you value her, if you have

a wife. and you look at the commitment that she

has made in her vow to you, to love you, to respect

you, to submit to you, then you need to walk

worthy of it. I'm going to place that load on

you, but you need the power of the Holy Spirit

to do it. But at the same time, just from man

to man, as the word of God, take the yoke upon

you. that Christ gives to you, and he will give

you the grace to bear it, but be worthy, walk

worthy of your wife's love, of her respect, of

her devotion, and of her obedience. And I will

say that if you love your wife in this way, most

times you will find that your wife will respond

to you with such an affection and a love of respect

and a reverence, and it will just be glorious.

It was a glorious picture. So men, lead in this.

Lastly, what if my marriage is not like this?

What if my marriage is not like this? How do

we do this? How do we handle this when our marriages

are sinful and they're laden down with guilt

or with problems or with insurrection or with...

difficulties are filled with arguments and we're

not reflecting the love of Christ. We're not

being a faithful witness to Christ. The scripture

teaches three things when it comes to sins and

situations like this. This is all with the understanding

that we need the power of the Holy Spirit. This

is not something we work up on our own, for it

is God who grants repentance, but still we are

to command repentance. There are three things.

These three things are very simple. You can apply

this to your needs in your life in pretty much

whatever it is. Repentance, mortification, and

obedience. Repentance. Come to the Lord and confess

your sins. Repent of them. Recognize your weakness.

Recognize the situation that your marriage is

in. If you're in a really hurting, wrongful marriage,

wrongful in the sense that it's filled with sin,

then you begin with repentance. Repentance toward

God and repentance toward each other. Ask for

the power of the Holy Spirit to grant you repentance.

But I urge you, you need to repent. But then

the second thing is mortification. Mortification

is a big word. It simply means to put to death.

You seek to put to death the things, the sins

that need to stop. Again, you need the power

of the Holy Spirit. But yet we're also told to

put off the old man and his deeds. And Paul lists

many of those deeds in a whole number of places

in the New Testament. But we're to... Put them

to death. Mortification. So repentance, mortifications,

and then third is obedience. You seek to obey.

You simply seek to say, you say, God, whatever

it takes, I'm willing to do this. I will obey

you in every way that I can. Again, you need

the power of the Holy Spirit for this. So all

of this needs to be bathed with prayer that God

would grant you the power of the Holy Spirit.

But in so doing, you repent. You mortify and

you're obedient to Christ. May the Lord bless

you all with this day. I've spoken plainly to

you in some of these things. I pray that the

Lord would bless you and would lift you up. I

do not mean this just in a heavy -handed way,

but rather just preaching the word of God that

it would bear fruit in your lives. May the Lord

be praised and worshiped. Let's pray together.