Principles for Marriage Life, 6/21/26

Today we continue in our study of the book of

1 Corinthians. As we have been going through

this, we're going through it chapter by chapter,

mostly verse by verse, seeking to understand

what the will of God is for our lives and what

His Word speaks to us as it was written. In this

case, written to the church at Corinth by the

Apostle Paul. Now, as we are going through this

particular passage, this can be a bit awkward

sometimes, or we can think of it in that way

as we're dealing with some of the more personal

lives, especially of marriage. But I would just

urge you to look at the word, and I, by God's

grace, will preach it to you as best as I am

able in an appropriate way. Today, we are looking

at principles for married life. which is going

to be all through this passage. And our subject

today is particularly the more intimate part

of marriage. Having dealt clearly and distinctly

with the problem of sexual immorality in the

previous chapter, the Apostle Paul now turns

to principles for marriage. He has given to us

the prohibitions against sexual immorality. But

now he addresses the proper use of God's good

gift of the sexual relationship between a man

and a woman in marriage, as well as a number

of other instructions and counsel. Let's read

this passage. We're looking today at verses one

through nine. Now concerning the things of which

you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to

touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual

immorality, let each man have his own wife and

let each woman have her own husband. Let the

husband render to his wife the affection due

her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

The wife does not have authority over her own

body, but the husband does. And likewise, the

husband does not have authority over his own

body, but the wife. Do not deprive one another

except with consent for a time that you may give

yourself to fasting and prayer and come together

again so that Satan does not tempt you because

of your lack of self -control. But I say this

as a concession, not as a commandment, for I

wish that all men were even as I myself. But

each one has his own gift from God, one in this

manner and another in that. But I say to the

unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them

if they remain even as I am. But if they cannot

exercise self -control, let them marry. For it

is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Let's pray. Father, we come to you, Lord, in

this scripture and we ask, O Lord, as there is

so much here. and there are some things that

are a bit difficult to understand. I pray that

you would open up our hearts and minds, that

you would give us the power of the Holy Spirit

to be able to understand. And Lord, I pray that

as we look at this subject, that we might do

so in the fear of the Lord and with wisdom. Please,

Lord, guide us this day, for we need you. In

Jesus' name, amen. This chapter begins a response

about matters. that were written in a letter

by the church at Corinth to Paul. Up until now,

Paul's been addressing matters reported to him

by Clow, as well as other members of the congregation

probably reported to him in person. Now there's

a shift. This shift begins in this chapter with

these words, Now concerning the things of which

you wrote to me. He chose to organize this follow

-up. to the prohibitions and problem with sexual

immorality that he dealt with in chapters 5 and

chapter 6. But he now shifts to answering their

questions. In this chapter, Paul will address

four different aspects of marriage, along with

a section on Christian calling and responsibility.

The sections are as follows. There is the section

on marriage and celibacy, which is verse 1 through

9. Then there is a section on marriage and divorce,

which we're going to look at in verse 10 through

16, Lord willing, next week. There's one then

on Christian calling and responsibility, verses

17 to 24. Then there's one section on marriage

and virgins, verses 25 to 38. And finally, he

deals with marriage and the remarriage of widows

in verses 39 and 40. I expect to be in this chapter

for a little while. I expect there will probably

be four or five sermons in order to do justice

to the many wonderful precepts and the clear

instructions that are given here. I do want to

take one tangent, though, as I plan to explore

the subject of the status of the children of

believers. In verse 14, as the apostle declares

that they are not unclean, but holy. So I intend

to deal with that fairly thoroughly. Going back

now to the passage before us, Pastor Bill Einwechter,

whom I served with for a number of years in Pennsylvania,

he preached through this book and it was very

helpful in my own life. And in listening to this

sermon on this passage again, He outlines four

competing perspectives that created confusion

in the Corinthian church. And I think they are

very helpful in understanding this passage. So

I share them with you. These perspectives are

gleaned from inference in the Bible and from

other historical sources. But it helps us to

understand a little bit what was going on. just

as it is here and it is a whole number of places

in the book of Corinthians, Paul doesn't give

the questions that were answered. He only responds

to them. So we have to kind of figure out what

were the questions or what were the issues that

were going on. So there's these four perspectives.

So first of all, within the Corinthian church,

there was the Jewish view. And that is that marriage

was considered obligatory. It is a religious

duty. Young men were expected to marry somewhere

between ages 16 to 18. Remaining unmarried at

age 20 was viewed with high suspicion. You know,

kind of a, you know, you better get with it here.

Okay, so that was at age 20. Very different than

it is today. So there was the Jewish view. Then

there was the ascetic view. Now, that's not aesthetics

as in beauty. It's ascetic as in denying bodily

things. Okay, in other words, being real strict

about certain things and denying of the material

world. They taught that self -denial, especially

of physical pleasures, elevated one's spiritual

standing. In other words, you could get closer

to God if you would deny your body in a whole

number of things, including the marriage relationship.

And so celibacy was prized as the superior calling,

but then sex, even with marriage, was seen as

demeaning, and they would encourage married couples

to stop as well. So these were the ascetics,

and they are referred to a number of times in

the New Testament, but they were there in Corinth.

Thirdly, there were the libertines. That is,

they held a low view of the marriage covenant,

and they divorced and remarried with ease. Oh

sure, I'm tired of you or whatever. Okay, I'm

going to divorce you and I'm going to marry you

again. It's not a big deal. So there were the

libertines. Finally then, there were the legalists.

That is, they believed that unequally yoked marriages,

that is the marriage of a believer and an unbeliever,

that they should be dissolved. In other words,

they need to separate. And of course for this,

they would draw on Old Testament examples from

Ezra and Nehemiah where that took place. And

we'll see that being referred to in the portion

from 10 to 16. So these four things help us to

understand why Paul addresses some of the things

that he does in this chapter. Finally then, before

we go on to the main points of verses 1 to 9,

consider again the cultural context. Corinth

was notorious. for unrestrained sexual immorality.

Temple and party prostitutes and others of every

kind were readily available in large numbers.

Many, if not most, Roman or Greek husbands would

not take sexual delight in their wife for she

was only for creation and to bear legitimate

heirs. Sexual pleasure was found in others, slaves,

mistresses, courtesans, prostitutes, etc. This

context must be kept in mind as we read this

chapter for Paul completely upends the culture.

And that is that Christian believers were to

set a whole new standard for marriage relationships.

One that conformed to the word of God given in

the Old Testament as well as the teachings of

Jesus directly and through the apostles that

built upon that foundation. We see a key background,

or we see a key text that really helps to understand

this background of Christian fidelity back in

the book of Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 5, verse

Proverbs 5:15–21

15 to 21, which is a powerful and a poetic exhortation

on sexual fidelity in marriage and the joy of

exclusive marital intimacy. God's word says,

Proverbs 5, verse 15 through 21. Drink water

Proverbs 5:15–21

from your own cistern and running water from

your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed

abroad, streams of water in the streets, let

them only be your own and not for strangers with

you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice

with the wife of your youth. As a loving dear

and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you

at all times and always be enraptured with her

love. For why should you, my son? be enraptured

by an immoral woman and be embraced in the arms

of a seductress. For the ways of man are before

the eyes of the Lord and he ponders all his paths.

This is the biblical teaching and Paul is building

on this and he is applying it to the Corinthian

church completely and diametrically in opposition

to the culture of the day. Therefore, now, Building

on this, he goes through and expounds on these

principles. So let's consider the text and profit

thereby. The first is in verse 1. This is Paul's

response to the Corinthian question. He says,

Now concerning the things of which you wrote

to me. As I said, Paul now shifts to answering

questions or dealing with matters sent to him

by letter. We do not have record of these questions,

but we can infer them from the passage. He then

says, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.

Now, this particular phrase is a little difficult

to understand. So I'm going to try to unpack

it for you, but there's really two different

ways to look at it and then two different ways

in one of the ways. So I'll try to make it simple,

but I want to unpack it. What is he talking about

here? It is good for a man to touch a woman.

So not to touch a woman. Well, the first is.

there's a possibility that Paul is restating

or quoting the position of some in Corinth. In

other words, this is part of it. Concerning the

things you wrote to me, it is good for a man

not to touch a woman. In other words, they are

saying that it is good for a man not to touch

a woman as to use a woman for sexual gratification

either in or out of the married state. Biblical

Greek did not use quotation marks. So any quotes...

must be taken from the context and grammar. So

this would have been said against the other Corinthian

view that sex is a necessity, like eating or

drinking. In other words, Paul could be quoting

the ascetics, the one who thought that marital

intimacy should never happen even if you are

married. And if you're not married, don't get

married. Now, if this is the correct interpretation,

the rest of my comments about this verse are

still valid. However... I don't think that's

what's happening here. I could be wrong, but

I don't think so. I take this verse, not as a

quote from the ascetics, but as a statement by

Paul to the Corinthians. It is good for a man

not to touch a woman. What then does he mean?

The word touch. is not referring to a handshake,

a hug, or social touching in that way. Although

the word was sometimes used in that way, such

as a woman with a discharge of blood who touched

Jesus. Touch also means to fasten oneself to

or to cling to. This is in the Greek. And thirdly,

it can mean carnal intercourse or cohabitation

with a woman. But in Greek literature of the

day, it was mostly used as a sexual reference,

especially in an exploitative way, acting out

of a desire to take advantage of someone through

self -gratification. Therefore, I think the proper

understanding here is that touch is a sexual

euphemism, which could be referring to the marriage

act, or it is more likely... That Paul is addressing

the actual act with a woman who is not your wife.

And using that woman for personal gratification.

It is most likely referring to the kind of touching.

As is used in Proverbs chapter 6 verse 29. So

Proverbs 6:29

is he who goes into his neighbor's wife. Whoever

touches her shall not be innocent. Now granted.

It is possible, based on Paul's statement in

verses 7 and 8 and 26 and 28, that Paul is saying

it is good for a man not to come together in

marriage and have that marriage relationship.

And he does so, as he explains later, because

of the present distress and so that each one

remains in the state that they are. Now, if so,

this verse affirms the value and goodness of

singleness. and of sexual abstinence in certain

contexts, such as Paul's own example and also

Jesus' teaching in Matthew 19 that there are

some that make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom

of heaven. Either way, Paul is not giving a blanket

condemnation of marriage or of sex, but a recognition

that undivided devotion to the Lord can be facilitated

by singleness. and beneficial in times of great

upheaval, of distress, or famine. We'll deal

with this later when we get to verse 32 to 35.

There are certain benefits in certain limited

contexts and calling, but celibacy is not biblically

superior to marriage. Nor does this verse contradict

God's original command at creation. When God

himself says it is not good for man to be alone.

Genesis chapter 2 verse 18. So my contention

Genesis 2:18

here is that Paul in this is not arguing for

the inherent superiority of singleness. But as

Wesley states for the prudence of remaining in

one's current state during difficult times. So

putting this all together. Does Paul here have

a low view of marriage? Is this what he is expressing

here? That it's good for a man not to be married?

Some argue that. From this passage and from others

in the chapter that he does. That the best place

for a Christian is to be single, undistracted

by the cares of a spouse and the earthiness of

sexual union. There have been many cultic groups

who teach this. Where we lived in Pennsylvania,

there's a museum called the Ephrata Cloister.

And it was there where, a couple hundred years

ago, Seventh Day Baptists, so they were Baptist

Sabbatarians who worshipped only on Saturday.

And they created some type of a commune there.

And this is one of the things that they taught.

So everyone who came and lived there was not

to be married. Most of them were singles, but

even the ones who did come, there were some times

when a wife would come or where a husband would

come or even when a couple would come, and then

they had to agree to abstain from any kind of

sexual relationship because this was ungodly.

It wasn't right. It's not right to do this. It's

just a whole kind of weird thing. There are many

others, and it's often, just as an aside, Cultic

groups or cults will either go to that side or

they'll go completely to the other where everything's

okay. Everyone belongs to everybody else and

it's a whole thing like that. And there's been

many like that as well. Anyway, some have taught

this. There's also a theme that runs. Of course,

you know, we see the amount of singles that we

have in the church today at large in the United

States, and so there's some who try to justify

that by saying, well, it's really more holy to

be married, or it's a better thing not to be

married, or it's because then you can give to

the Lord, and there's lots of people that can

have the gift of singleness. I don't think Paul

is teaching that here, and as you will see as

I go through this. Paul does not have a low view

of marriage, nor is it inferior. So consider,

Paul wrote Ephesians 5, which depicts the beauty

and mystery of marriage as a picture of Christ

in the church. He wrote that passage. How could

he have a low view of marriage? It's impossible.

Furthermore, in the book of 1 Timothy, three

times, 1 Timothy 3, Elders and deacons must be

the husband of one wife. It was, you know, of

course it was dealing with, was he dealing with

polygamy or was he dealing with infidelity? There's

all sorts of things which we went through that

when I preached through that passage. But the

whole point here is, if they're married, they

need to be the husband of one wife. And marriage

is a good qualification because their children

are an example of their leadership abilities.

Paul writes that. He does not have a low view

of marriage. A chapter later, in 1 Timothy 4,

1 Timothy 4:3

verse 3, Paul says, Paul himself, the same writer,

he says that false teachers give heed to doctrines

of demons. And what do they do? They forbid to

marry. It is the doctrine of demons. Here's the

verse. Now the Spirit expressly says that in

latter times some will depart from the faith,

giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines

of demons, speaking lies and hypocrisy, having

their own conscience seared with a hot iron,

forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain

from foods which God created to be received with

thanksgiving by those who believe and know the

truth. A mark of cultish behavior is that they

mess with biblical doctrine on food, And on sex.

It happens all the time. Even now. So there again.

That's the doctrine of demons. To forbid to marry.

And then finally in 1st Timothy 5 verse 14. Paul

encourages the younger widows. To marry. He says

I would. That the younger women. The widows marry.

Which can also be extrapolated to others. So.

Paul does not have a low view of marriage. Therefore

I conclude. That the first or the best and the

strongest meaning of this verse is that Paul

is saying it is not good for a man to live in

sexual union outside of marriage. Then he continues

right on in verse 2. Nevertheless, because of

sexual immorality, let each man have his own

wife and let each woman have her own husband.

This brings us to our second point. That is the

necessity and goodness of marriage in light.

Of immorality. Marriage is the God ordained context.

For sexual relationships. So the act itself.

Is good. It is right. It is blessed by God. It

is ordained by God. Between a husband and a wife.

Everything outside of that. Is sin. The word

pornea. It is immorality. Which covers everything.

That is unlawful. Everything. God created. This

strong urge and drive. It is part of the original

dominion mandate given to Adam and Eve in Genesis

Genesis 1:28

chapter 1 verse 28. What does he tell them? Be

fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue

it. How are you going to do that if you don't

have a relationship together? No. This is part

of it right there. Again, after Noah came out

of the ark, the same command was repeated to

him and to his offspring. Genesis 9 verse 7.

Genesis 9:7

And as for you, be fruitful and multiply. Bring

forth abundantly in the earth and multiply in

it. Excuse me. Why was it not good for man to

be alone? Well, there's certainly a whole number

of reasons why it's not good for man to be alone.

Why man needs a helper who is suitable for him.

I can sure attest to that, and I think all of

you here can. There's a lot of reasons why we

need a wife, men. Yes, but there's a primary

one that's right here. The first one is that

he cannot bear any offspring by himself. There

is no next generation. He must be fruitful and

multiply and so he needs a wife. God created

the complementary parts of a man and a woman

and he gave them the desire within and they come

together in marriage and sexual union. This intense

and overpowering desire is found in nearly all

human beings. Thus if there is no marriage, most

men and a lot of women will fall into sexual

immorality if there is no marriage. Paul teaches

the answer to this problem. Because of sexual

immorality, let each one, each man, have his

own wife, and the woman have her own husband.

To have not only indicates getting married or

taking a wife but also the regular mutual satisfaction

of sexual desires. The word own, his own wife

or her own husband signifies belonging to each

other and to no one else in the same way. Belonging

to each other. They are their own, his own wife,

her own husband. This also by the way speaks.

of one wife and one husband. This is an emphasis

both on monogamy and fidelity. Monogamy being

one man, one woman, not one man, multiple wives,

or polygamy. Polygamy does not fit with this.

I think this is an additional New Testament teaching

on it. Paul teaches this as a practical safeguard

against the sexual temptations prevalent in Corinth.

and in every culture. If a husband and wife do

not come together frequently, the temptation

becomes very strong. With the abundance of available

sexual partners, and with the cultural view that

sex was like any other bodily urge, like hunger

or thirst, immorality was the norm. The answer

is certainly self -discipline under the rule

of Christ in the heart, but it is also the sexual

relationship between a husband and a wife. Paul's

going to develop this now in the next few verses.

Number three, mutual marital duties and authority

in the marriage bed. These are verses three to

five. Let the husband render to his wife the

affection due her, and likewise also the wife

to her husband. The wife does not have authority

over her own body, but the husband does. And

likewise the husband does not have authority

over his own body, but the wife does. Do not

deprive one another, except with consent for

a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting

and prayer, and come together again, so that

Satan does not tempt you because of your lack

of self -control. Let's unpack this a little

more. First of all, there's mutual sexual obligation

in marriage. Verse 3. The physical relationship

in a marriage is not an option. Paul speaks here

of obligations. That is of duty. A mutual obligation

and duty to each other. Where husbands and wives

are to regularly fulfill their responsibilities

one to another. It's what render means. Render

the affection due means that you are to deliver.

You are to discharge what is due. You are to

give. And the tense is a continuous one. That

is an ongoing, generous, mutual giving, not merely

a duty, but also a delight. This rendering the

affection due is to be done from the husband

to the wife and from the wife to the husband.

Now, the immediate context of this verse, though,

is not procreation. It is not just coming together

so that you can have children. It is rather affection.

Affection, also translated as benevolence or

kindness or goodwill. The word is used elsewhere,

spoken by Paul to servants. who are in Ephesians

6, 5, and 8, to do the will of God from the heart

and with good will doing service. Duties and

obligations are all throughout life, and we are

not to do them grudgingly or half -heartedly

or with clenched teeth or manipulatively, but

willingly, generously, and with good will toward

each other. The command here is to give love,

to give affection, not to command it or demand

it. It is full of reciprocity, of mutual love

and satisfaction, caring for one another and

giving to one another willingly. That's the meaning

here, to render that which is due. Secondly,

in verse 4, there is mutual authority over each

one's body. The wife's body belongs to her husband.

The husband's body belongs to his wife. This

is a profound statement of mutual authority.

This is not just the husband possessing. No,

it is authority in both the wife and the husband,

each one over the other one. And so there is

a mutual belonging. It is a self -giving love

and it is a rejection of selfish autonomy in

marriage. I am in my own person. I can do what

I want. No, if you're a married person, you need

to do things on the basis for your wife and use

a wife for your husband. That's what the word

is saying here. We owe it to each other. And

in fact, not only do we owe it, we have authority

over. Now, let's be clear here. The authority

over each other's body must be exercised with

love, tenderness, communication, and understanding

let me repeat that the authority over each other's

body must be exercised with love with tenderness

with communication and understanding understanding

the needs of the other but also considerate of

the other's exhaustion or the time of the natural

cycles of the body there are temptations for

both the wife and the husband as the drive is

often more intense in the husband He can easily

be tempted to be controlling or dominating or

domineering. The wife can easily be tempted to

use the relationship as a way to manipulate,

as a reward for good behavior, or to withhold

because of actions or behavior that she dislikes.

No, the mutual obligation is not to be used for

control or manipulation, as it often happens.

The kind of thing, if you will, well then I will.

Would you like this? Okay, well, then you do

this. That kind of thing. No, it's a mutual love

for one another and a responsibility to each

other. The other thing that's profound here is

with the wife having authority over the husband,

that means that he's also restrained by her.

Remember, again, the context and culture of the

day. There was much availability. And with the

wife's authority over him, she was able to remind

him, I'm for you and you need to be true to me.

You can't go do this. There's also that kind

of thing. So you belong to each other. Now keep

in mind, the calendar should not be rigid. You

both need to communicate your needs to each other.

And you can't forget about grace. You cannot

forget about grace. These instructions show.

that husbands and wives should not be prudish

toward each other, but should be able to communicate

openly these things, talking about their sexual

needs and limitations to each other. Then he

moves on in verse 5 to a warning against deprivation.

Do not... deprive one another do not deprive

or defraud is a very strong imperative in the

greek it's like this stop doing it stop depriving

each other stop it that's how strong it is some

couples were already withholding for ascetic

reasons saying no it's more spiritual not to

so we need to do that and using that control

or others or Some were doing it in immorality

with others. Stop doing it. The verb translated

deprive usually means to cause another to suffer

loss by taking away through illicit means. It

is translated to rob, to steal, to despoil, or

to defraud. It is used in James to describe the

withholding of wages due to the hired man. And

it's completely condemned in scripture. So to

withhold the marriage relationship from each

other in marriage or to use it to control or

manipulate is to go against a very clear command

of God. He says, stop doing it. Do not do this.

Now, just as a side note, if you're in a troubled

situation or a difficult one, if one or the other

is withholding against the commands of God. That

is no excuse for the other to find fulfillment

elsewhere. There's no excuse for that. God's

word does not give license to say, well, my wife's

not meeting my needs, so that gives me the freedom

to go out and do this and find someone else.

Though it can be very difficult, self -control

is still required, and God grants grace and ability

for that. Self -control is one of the fruits

of the Spirit. Moving back, this mutual bond

is deep and powerful. Husbands, study your wife.

Learn to meet her needs and how to physically

satisfy her. Wives, recognize your husband's

frequent need for intimacy to maintain the bond.

Defrauding each other or one another greatly

increases temptation to sin because God designed

us as sexual beings. That is not crass. That

is not weird. No, God designed it that way. It

is by creation. Violating this command has destroyed

many marriages and destroyed the bond that happens

as married couples come together. Now the apostle

then goes on to grant one exception to this obligation

and duty. And this is if by mutual agreement

for a limited time. Since the authority over

the wife's body belongs to the husband and the

authority over the husband's body belongs to

the wife, then the decision to abstain may not

be made only by the one. It may not be. It must

be an agreed upon decision by both. Perhaps the

couple determines to fast or to pray regarding

something and they choose together to fast in

this area also. This could be a time of focused

prayer and fasting. Temporary abstinence is permitted

only under these four criteria. Number one, mutual

consent. Number two, for a specific stated time.

Number three, for a God -honoring purpose. And

number four, with a clear plan to resume relations

later or afterward. Those four, they're right

here, four criteria. Now, Paul gives this one.

Are there other exceptions? Is there a possibility

that there are? We do find a few others in the

Bible and also in practically speaking. For example,

Leviticus 12 in the ceremonial law gives a certain

time period after the birth of a son and of a

daughter where there is not a coming together.

Of course, that can also be for health reasons,

but I think there was also a ceremonial aspect

there as well as the purification of the blood

that Leviticus 12 goes into. I'm not going to

get into it today. I'm just putting it there

that that was part of it. It was also understood

in the time of war when men go away to battle

or travel, go to sea for an extended time. Notably,

it was set forth that any man who... who wanted

to go home to his wife instead of going to battle

was allowed to choose to do so. It was not forced

conscription in the army throughout all of the

Old Testament. It was designed where they were

allowed. If they wanted to go home, they could.

In each of these cases, though, these four criteria

should be met. Mutual consent for a specified

and stated time. for a God -honoring purpose,

and with a clear plan to resume relations afterward.

Husbands, I'm going to say this. The husband

should not make extended travel plans without

the consent of the wife. I think that's one of

the things that we can draw from this that's

pretty clear. And that's, I say, extended for

a longer time. Paul speaks of the danger of prolonged

deprivation, and he tells married couples to

come together again, that is to have ongoing

intimacy so that Satan does not tempt you. This

is to drink from your own cistern, as Proverbs

5 speaks. Why is this? Because Satan exploits

lack of self -control and provides many temptations

to immorality. This is the warning that he gives

here in verse 5. That Satan does not tempt you

because of your lack of self -control. Number

4 then, he deals with a concession. A concession

regarding abstinence, singleness, and self -control.

Verses 6 to 9. And this will be the last major

point. I say this, he says, as a concession,

not as a commandment. For I wish that all men

were even as I myself. But each one has his own

gift from God, one in this manner and another

in that. But I say to the married and to the

widows, it is good for them if they remain even

as I am. But if they cannot exercise self -control,

let them marry. For it is better to marry than

to burn with passion. Now again here we're getting

into some things and tenses like, okay, what

exactly is the apostle trying to bring home here

to us? I'll give you some things, but obviously

I may not be completely comprehensive. There's

a lot in here. First of all, he says, but I say

this as a concession, not as a command. To what

is Paul conceding and not commanding? Is it the

whole idea of marriage and for the possibility

of living a single life? Is that what he's saying

here? I'm giving all of this in this passage

just by concession? I don't think so. Certainly

where he says, do not deprive one another. That

is not conciliatory speech. It's command. Don't

do this. So I don't think he's conceding this.

I think rather that he's giving a concession

on the possibility of temporary abstinence in

verse 5. This might be an acknowledgement to

the ascetics that it would be okay to defer relations

for a time of spiritual renewal or prayer and

fasting, but only for a time. In other words,

he gives permission to cease from obeying his

commands in verses two to five, but only on a

temporary basis. I think that might be what he

is saying there. I speak this as a concession.

Then he goes on and says, for I wish that all

men were even as myself. All right. Now we know

that Paul was unmarried, that he was celibate.

Although he may have been married at one time,

there is some conjecture about that. So is Paul

saying here that I wish that all people would

be unmarried? I don't think so. This interpretation

goes against many other scriptures. Alfred Barnes

put it in a way that I think is really good.

He says that Paul was unmarried is evident from

1 Corinthians 9 verse 5. But he does not refer

1 Corinthians 9:5

to this fact here. While he wishes that all people

were like himself, he evidently does not intend

that he would prefer that all should be unmarried.

For this would be against the divine institution

and against his own precepts elsewhere. He would

be glad if all people had control over their

passions and propensities as he had. Had the

gift of continence and could abstain from marriage

when circumstances of trial, etc. would make

it proper. End quote. I think what he's saying

here is, I wish that all could be self -controlled

as I am. I believe that is what he is saying,

that all men were as myself. Paul's wish is that

each person would be content with their own station

in life. That is that they would have the gift

of contentedness from God. Some have the gift

of celibacy and singleness. And there are certain

advantages that come with that gift in the service

of Christ. Especially in difficult circumstances.

Others have the gift of marriage. They should

be content with that. Paul was gifted with confidence,

with self -control. He was able to go on those

long missionary journeys in a way that would

have been impossible if accompanied by his wife.

Hear this long list of what he gives in 2 Corinthians

2 Corinthians 11:24

11 verse 24. And imagine how this would be if

he had a wife to care for during this time. Here's

what he said. For from the Jews five times I

received forty stripes minus one. Three times

I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three

times I was shipwrecked. A night and a day I

have been in the deep. In journeys often. In

perils of waters. In perils of robbers. In perils

of my own countrymen. In perils of the Gentiles.

In perils of the city. In perils in the wilderness.

In perils in the sea. In perils among false brethren.

in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often,

in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold

and nakedness, besides the other things, what

comes upon me daily, my deep concern for all

the churches. Now imagine the difficulty of caring

for and maintaining a wife in those circumstances.

Practically impossible. And Paul was content

in his calling. And thus he refers, I wish that

all men were even as myself. To the unmarried

and widows, he says it is good for them if they

remain even as I am. In verse 8, the unmarried

and widows, Paul mentions, may include widowers

as the Greek term is masculine and lacked a specific

word for widower or was used very seldom. So

it's probably referring here to both widows and

widowers. Again, he is urging contentedness in

their single life, but as he states in verse

9, if they cannot exercise self -control, let

them marry, for it is better to marry than to

burn with passion. This is realistic pastoral

counsel. Yes, self -control is great, but it's

better to marry honorably than to be consumed

by uncontrolled lust, on fire with passion. And

this is a good word for us to apply in various

ways. Finally then, let's look at a few applications.

Number one, marriage is a legitimate and good

outlet for sexual desire and it is a profound

covenant that reflects the gospel. It reflects

the gospel and it reflects the church of Jesus

Christ. It is a picture of that. It is the normal

way for a man and a woman to live and God blesses

it. Second, if you are a young single person,

pray for a wife or a husband. Unless you have

a clear sense and contentment that God is calling

you to live a single life for his glory. Otherwise,

pray. Pray that God would lead you to a wife.

or to a husband. Prepare yourself in the worship

of God and in self -discipline and pray that

God would sovereignly bring you to that person.

If you're a man, actively seek a wife unless

there's a present distress, as Paul writes later

in the chapter in verses 26 and 27. Third, if

you're a widow or widower, be content with your

station in life, but open to the possibilities

that might come. However, if you're a young widow,

Paul's counsel is this in 1 Timothy 5 verse 14.

1 Timothy 5:14

Therefore, I desire that the younger widows marry,

bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity

to the adversary to speak reproachfully. Whether

single or married, our calling, brothers and

sisters, is to holiness. It is to self -control.

It is to faithfulness in marriage. Actually,

faithfulness to God's design, whether single

or married. So let us then pursue purity. Let

us honor the marriage bed. Let us glorify God

with our bodies because our bodies are a temple

of the Holy Spirit who is in you and you are

not your own. Let's pray.