Biblical Principles for Marriage – Divorce, Separation, Mixed Marriages , 6/28/26

We come again today to the next passage in 1

Corinthians as we have been going through it

and looking at all of the different things that

the Apostle Paul speaks of. And today we come

to chapter 7, verses 10 through 16. The title

today is Biblical Principles for Marriage, Divorce,

Separation, and Mixed Marriages. We'll begin

reading verse 10. Now to the married I command,

yet not I, but the Lord. A wife is not to depart

from her husband. But even if she does depart,

let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to

her husband. And a husband is not to divorce

his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say.

If any brother has a wife who does not believe

and she is willing to live with him, let him

not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband

who does not believe, if he is willing to live

with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving

husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving

wife is sanctified by the husband. Otherwise

your children would be unclean, but now they

are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let

him depart. A brother or a sister is not under

bondage in such cases. But God has called us

to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether

you will save your husband? Or how do you know,

O husband, whether you will save your wife? Let's

pray. Father, as we have read this passage in

the scripture, Lord, We seek enlightenment. We

seek wisdom, Lord. And we pray for your wisdom

in understanding this, that you would tell us,

Lord, that you would guide us in our understanding

and interpretation of this passage. We ask, O

Lord, that you would be with us today and open

up our hearts that all that is said might be

pleasing to you and would be according to your

word. And we ask for the power of the Holy Spirit.

We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. The Apostle Paul

moves on to the next two questions in his response

to the letter from the church in Corinth, which

he spoke of in verse 1 of this chapter. He is

still dealing with the subject of marriage principles,

as we looked at last week, but today it is with

the subject of divorce and mixed marriages. There

are two key questions that are addressed in this

text. Question number one, is divorce permissible

between two Christians? Question number two,

what is a Christian's duty in a mixed marriage,

that is, a believer and an unbeliever? Now this

subject, of course, is very pertinent to our

time and place. Indeed, who among us has not

been affected by the divorce of parents or siblings

or children and even our own selves? The deleterious

effect of divorce especially no -fault divorce

in this culture and particularly to children,

has been incalculable. It has been an awful and

tragic mess. Paul does not address every situation

in this passage because he's answering questions.

But I will deal with the subject in a greater

detail. And I'm going to also look to three other

passages. three additional ones, to give us a

good background for our understanding of this

passage. I'm not going to expound on all of these,

but they will shed light on some principles here

as I deal with the passage. The first is in Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy 24 · chapter mention

chapter 24, beginning in verse 1. When a man

takes a wife and marries her, and it happens

that she finds no favor in his eyes because he

has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes

her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her

hand, and sends her out of his house, when she

has departed from his house and goes and becomes

another man's wife, If the latter husband detests

her and writes her a certificate of divorce,

puts it in her hand and sends her out of his

house, or if the latter husband dies who took

her as his wife, then her former husband who

divorced her must not take her back to be his

wife after she has been defiled. For that is

an abomination before the Lord, and you should

not bring sin in the land which the Lord your

God is giving you as an inheritance. Now in this

case, among a number of things, this law gives

the ability to divorce if a man finds that his

wife has been guilty of uncleanness. That is,

it's a type of shameful exposure or indecency

or nakedness. While this could have led to adultery,

it was likely a lesser offense because adultery

by either a husband or a wife was punishable

by death in the civil code of Israel. But many

of the Jews by Jesus' time took this to mean

anything that the husband didn't like. If he

found a more beautiful woman or if she burnt

his food or whatever, that was some type of uncleanness.

Jesus then speaks to this and gives a corrective

thing in Matthew chapter 19 and Mark chapter

Matthew 19 · chapter mention Mark 10 · chapter mention

10, which we're going to look at in a moment.

The next background passage is Malachi chapter

Malachi 2:13–16

2, verse 13 to 16. And this is the second thing

you do. You cover the altar of the Lord with

tears, with weeping and crying, so he does not

regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with

goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, for what

reason? Because the Lord has been witness between

you and the wife of your youth, with whom you

have dealt treacherously. Yet she is your companion

and your wife by covenant. But did he not make

them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And

why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore

take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously

with the wife of his youth. For the Lord God

of Israel says that he hates divorce, for it

covers one's garment with violence, says the

Lord of hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit.

that you do not deal treacherously. The third

background passage is Matthew chapter 19, verse

Matthew 19:3–9

3 to 9. This is Jesus speaking. The Pharisees

also came to him, testing him and saying to him,

Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for

just any reason? And he answered and said to

them, Have you not read that he who made them

at the beginning made them male and female? And

said, for this reason, a man shall leave his

father and mother and be joined to his wife,

and the two shall become one flesh. So then,

they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore,

what God has joined together, let not man separate,

they said to him. Why then did Moses command

to give a certificate of divorce and to put her

away? He said to them, Moses, because of the

hardness of your hearts. permitted you to divorce

your wives, but from the beginning it was not

so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife,

except for sexual immorality, and marries another,

commits adultery, and whoever marries her who

is divorced, commits adultery. Mark chapter 10,

Mark 10:2

verse 2 and 10 is a restatement of the passage

in Matthew, except that it does not record the

exception for sexual immorality. Now in all of

these, we see the clear command in the Old and

New Testaments that marriage is ordained by God.

It is holy. It is sacred. And from the very beginning

of time, God created male and female and said,

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his

mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall

become one flesh. It's recorded in Genesis chapter

Genesis 2:24

2, verse 24, for all times. And this is also

repeated several times throughout the scriptures.

The Old Testament passage and Jesus' words were

given, In a predominantly Jewish setting. And

by that I'm referring to the Deuteronomy passage.

The Malachi. And Jesus words. Jesus himself said

in Matthew chapter 15 verse 24. I was not sent

Matthew 15:24

except to the lost sheep of Israel. Of the house

of Israel. But Jesus greatly expands this in

his great commission to the apostles. For they

are to go throughout to the whole world. And

Paul builds upon this in a predominantly Gentile

setting. 1 Corinthians 7 is addressed to the

worldwide body of Christ, both Jew and Gentile.

This shift is crucial because the gospel's expansion

creates new realities, including mixed faith

marriages. And Paul's going to deal with that

and will help us to understand. As we see what

Paul is saying. So let's now seek to fully understand

this text. The first point is simply this. Paul

and Jesus command to married believers. This

is in verse 10 and 11. Paul declares here. Now

to the married I command. Yet not I but the Lord.

A wife is not to depart from her husband. But

even if she does depart. Let her remain unmarried.

or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband

is not to divorce his wife. Now Paul begins this

section by addressing the married. So it's clearly

here he's speaking to married people. And to

the question, is divorce permissible between

two Christian believers? The answer is very clear

and very straightforward without any equivocation.

He answers this with a clear no. He says, I command

a wife is not to depart from her husband and

a husband is not to divorce his wife. Now, to

depart is kind of the same word as divorce, even

though there's two Greek words, but they're synonyms.

To depart is to separate, to put asunder, and

thus refers to the same thing, which is used

for the husband in verse 11. Now, there are many

times in the scriptures where Paul exhorts, where

he encourages. He even makes some suggestions.

Like back in verse 6, he said, I speak by permission

and not of commandment. But it is not so in this

passage. He gives a strong command. It is a decree.

But this command, however, is not only from him,

but he calls on Jesus. He says, I say this, but

yet not I, but the Lord. So he's referring here

to Jesus, that Jesus is commanding this. Now,

as he refers to Jesus as Lord, this is the Greek

word kurios, which refers to Jesus, who is Lord.

He is Lord of everything, before whom every knee

is to bow, of those in earth and heaven and under

the earth. So in saying this, Paul is referencing

Jesus' commands back in Matthew 19, which we

just read, and Mark 10. Whoever divorces his

wife and marries another commits adultery against

her. And if a woman divorces her husband and

marries another, she commits adultery. So the

answer to this question is very clear. Both Paul

and Jesus say this is not to happen. and so it

is in nearly all circumstances. Paul gives, however,

one clarification to the wife. She is not to

depart, but if, against this command, she does

depart, then she is to remain unmarried or be

reconciled to her husband. Those are the choices

that are given there in that case. Now, I need

to explain something. In Scripture, subjects

are frequently developed In various passages.

The study of the word gives light. And so we

need to look at all the scripture. In order to

have a fuller understanding. So it is with this

passage. Because Paul does not refer to this.

He does not say this. But Jesus clearly gives

an exception to this command. In Matthew chapter

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

19. Paul is going to give another exception.

That of desertion. in verses 13 to 15. And this

is how fully developed theology works. We look

at the whole of Scripture, not just one proof

text. If we were to proof text this right here,

we would say, in no condition at all times, for

any reason, can there be divorce between a husband

and a wife, if they're Christians. And yet, here

we are going to consider two exceptions. So the

first one, Let me just say, there's been many

examples of wrong or incomplete doctrine and

practice in the history of the church because

of proof texting it as opposed to looking at

the whole of scripture. Paul does not speak of

this exception, but Jesus allows for divorce

and for remarriage in the event of sexual immorality.

sexual immorality this is the word pornea again

we've looked at that a number of times in as

we've been going through chapter five six and

seven it means any type any type of illicit unlawful

sexual immorality adultery fornication homosexuality

lesbianism bestiality incest and i would include

with that in drawing from it porn used with self

-gratification Therefore, we believe that if

a husband or wife is guilty of the sin of porneia,

it is lawful for the innocent party to sue for

divorce and to marry another as if the offending

party were dead. This teaching is Jesus' authoritative

interpretation of Deuteronomy 24, verses 1 to

Deuteronomy 24:1–4

4. And Paul's appeal to the teaching of Jesus

shows that both the Old Testament and the Lord's

teaching are both norms for Christian ethics.

While divorce is lawful, though, it is not required.

If there is true repentance and a change of heart

in ways, then there's a possibility of being

reconciled even if one of the partners has had

an affair or something like that. There's a possibility

of that. So even though divorce is a possibility,

a lawful one, it is not required in this case.

It's up to the individual and based on repentance

and so forth. Now, why is this question asked

by the Corinthians? Why are they asking about

divorce? Well, there are several possibilities.

It could be that there were some in the congregation

who were advocating celibacy in marriage, and

perhaps some wanted to be celibate by simply

divorcing their partners. We know that there

was a strain of asceticism there, and this could

have been. I think this is a possible one, but

probably not very likely. The second possibility

is that some Christian wives knew that their

husbands had had a history of sexual immorality

and may have wondered if Paul expected them to

abandon their husbands. Now this is in the context

where they're saved. God saved them, but there's...

You know, there's a lot of mess in the background

because of all of this. And so is it permissible

if I would want to, because I don't want to be

involved in that in any way or be tainted by

it, can I just divorce my husband? That's a possibility.

We know that there were a lot of people in the

church who had been involved in all sorts of

immorality. We saw that back in 6 verse 9 where

Paul gives a great list and then he says, such

were some of you. But you have been washed. Or

third, perhaps simply, some were having marriage

difficulties and they wanted the easy way out.

Rather than doing the hard work of maintaining

a marriage and working for reconciliation and

peace. They simply wanted out. Remember the cultural

pressures in Corinth. There was the Jewish laxity.

Easy divorce for any displeasure. Based on a

misreading of Deuteronomy 24. It was very common.

Among the Jews. There was the ascetics. They

urged separation or divorce. To pursue higher

spirituality. And there was the libertines. Where

divorce and remarriage were acceptable. In any

circumstance. Paul is very clear though in this

passage. In all normative cases. He takes the

prevailing views of Corinth to task. And once

again. He lifts up exclusive lifelong marriage.

Covenant faithfulness as the standard in the

Christian church. To the married I command. A

wife is not to depart from her husband. And a

husband is not to divorce his wife. Now this

is not to say that it will be easy. As we all

know. At least all of us who are married. When

two people come together, they have different

ways, different manners, different mannerisms.

They each have their own particular besetting

sins. They irritate one another. And sometimes

they do thoughtless deeds, hurtful actions, and

even use argumentative or irritating speech against

the other. Every husband and every wife is a

sinner saved by grace and in need of sanctification

and growth. We all know this instinctively. When

we come together, there's adjustments, there's

things, there's hardships. Marriage is hard work.

It often involves conflict. And yet grace...

and repentance and mutual forgiveness are available.

And so I encourage you all, keep short accounts

with each other and be quick to confess your

sins when you sin against the other. And be just

as quick to forgive and to be reconciled. When

sins are not confessed and forgiven, then they

stack up and they create hardship and then bitterness,

and then a root of bitterness defiles you. And

so... Both the one who sinned and the one who

was sinned against have a problem. And hurt builds

up on top of hurts. And you have a real mess

on your hands. But Christian believers have the

Holy Spirit. We have the Word of God. And we

have the covenant community. The church for counsel

and support. And so we need to seek to resolve

problems with humility. And to not abandon the

covenant lightly. When difficulties arise between

two believers, then we must pursue reconciliation

through the means of grace. The gospel equips

us to endure and even to thrive where unbelievers

might not. And so, dear brothers and sisters,

we need to avail ourselves of this when difficulties

come in the marriage, when there are irritants,

when there's sin. Let us confess the sin. Let

us work. For peace and harmony and reconciliation.

Let me say this yet. It's a note to wives. Wives,

you are commanded to be in subjection to your

husbands in everything. Like the church is subject

to Christ. That's in Ephesians 5 verse 24. But

Ephesians 5:24

let me give this clarifying word. Submission

to your Christian husband does not mean enduring.

unrepentant, abusive sin, or neglect against

you without getting help. Please get help if

that is the case. Seek wise counsel from church

elders or older women or other means of biblical

counsel, even if your husband is in leadership

or is an officer of the church. Sadly, in America,

there have been far too many pastors' wives who

have endured unimaginable things from their husband,

and they felt like they couldn't get help. And

so to any of you, if you're having difficulty

or if you're suffering from abuse, then get help.

God's people are here to help you and to give

wise and good counsel. You are a daughter of

God and a member of a faithful church. So I just

encourage you in that sometimes the whole thing

of submission is then twisted to mean with I

in me am called to submit, then he can do whatever

he wants. No, that's not the case. again confront

yes deal with sin but if you won't deal with

sin then get help all right secondly then we're

going so that that is the first two verses they're

very very clear second paul's instruction then

for mixed marriages he says i not the lord say

but to the rest i not to the lord say If a brother

has a wife who does not believe and she's willing

to live with him, let him not divorce her. And

a woman who has a husband who does not believe,

if he is willing to live with her, let her not

divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified

by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified

by the husband. Otherwise, your children would

be unclean. But now they are holy. But if the

unbeliever departs, let him depart. A brother

or sister is not under bondage in such cases.

But God has called us to peace. For how do you

know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?

Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will

save your wife? We're going to unpack this. And

I will say right up front. So verse 12 and 13,

very clear, easy to understand. Verse 10 and

11. Very clear, easy to understand. Verse 14,

not so much. So we're going to try to seek to

unpack that and see and get wisdom from the Lord

on that and from other wise believers. And then

we go into verse 15 and 16. And again, it's very

clear. Paul addresses situations not directly

covered in Jesus' recorded earthly teaching,

and that is of a believer married to an unbeliever.

That's what he means when he says, to the rest

I, not the Lord, say. So in other words, he's

not saying, what I'm about to tell you is not

authoritative. No, it's not that at all. What

he's saying is, Jesus didn't deal with this.

Remember, there's a new thing that's happening

here with the conversion of the world. There's

a whole host of Gentiles that are coming out

of the world and they're becoming saved. And

so now the question is, what if you have a mixed

marriage where one is saved and the other is

still an unrepentant idolater? What should be

done in cases like that? That's the question.

While Jesus did not deal with this problem directly

while he was on the earth, Jesus does deal with

it through his chosen and appointed apostles

who speak with divine authority. No man today

has this authority. It ceased when the last of

the original apostles died, which was most likely

the apostle John. With the coming of the gospel

to the Gentile world, it became far more likely

that either a wife or a husband would convert.

to the Christian faith without the other spouse.

Now there was much teaching among both the Greeks

and the Jews that the wife should follow the

religion of her husband. Jews were to marry only

those belonging to their religion and believe

that pagan wives should be divorced and the children

sent away based on the actions of Ezra and Nehemiah.

Plutarch's advice to the bride and groom emphasizes

this. A wife, he says, So you can see there the

real problem here. Again, in the ethos of the

day, in the practices of the day, this was very

common. Furthermore, Prior to this, Paul is also

taught about separation from the world and from

the unclean. Now, we know that a Christian who

marries is to marry only in the Lord. And we

see Paul's warning about being unequally yoked

with unbelievers back over in 2 Corinthians 6,

2 Corinthians 6:14

verse 14 and 18. He says, Do not be unequally

yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship

has righteousness with lawlessness? And what

communion has light with darkness? And then in

verse 17 he says, Therefore come out from among

them and be separate, says the Lord. So it's

no wonder that the Christian believers needed

clarification about the state of their mixed

marriages. Should they separate? Should they

break off the yoke? Should they divorce? Should

they break their marriage oath and covenant in

light of their conversion to the Christian faith?

And one might say, how can two walk together

unless they are agreed? Paul's answer to this,

though, It's a bit surprising. In light of all

that I just said, he is very, very clear. His

command by the authority of Jesus is very clear.

A brother with an unbelieving wife who is willing

to dwell with him, he says, do not divorce her.

A woman with an unbelieving husband who is willing

to dwell with her, do not divorce him. Marriage

is a creation ordinance and therefore should

not be broken except under extreme circumstances.

And thus a believer and an unbeliever who were

joined together in marriage and one of them was

saved should not break that. That's what Paul

is saying. Should not break that. Believer should

not seek to end the marriage solely because of

differing faith. How can this be and how can

this possibly work? Paul will then go on to explain

in verse 14 and 15 as to how this works. But

before we get to that, I think there's one other

consideration that we should be noted in this

situation. Now, Paul does not state this in this

passage. And so I'm not going to give it as an

absolute, but I think it's worthy of note. In

light of Jesus' teaching back in Matthew 19,

I'm going to quote here from Pillar Commentary

along with a story from Justin Martyr. To be

more specific about the experience of the early

Christians in Corinth, it is possible that given

Paul's understanding of marriage as an exclusive

partnership, this might include a commitment

on the part of an unbelieving spouse to abstain

from all kinds of extramarital relations. I'm

going to go on in just a bit. So what he's saying

here is this works if the other partner, the

unbelieving one, is not a serial adulterer and

is not just going out and having his flings all

over the place. Okay, then this can work. I think

that is kind of alluded to in the passage, but

again, it's not stated specifically. I'll continue.

Knowing the culture, husbands would engage in

extramarital sexual relationships. with slaves,

with prostitutes, or courtesans. And so it's

possible that Christian wives would be expected

to have to endure such behavior on the part of

unbelieving husbands. Anthony Thistleton reminds

us of the case from the second century reported

by Justin Martyr at the beginning of his second

apology. Justin relates the story of a woman

who had come to Christian faith in the context

of a marriage where both of them, both she and

her husband, had been unchaste. Upon becoming

a Christian, she became a chaste wife. and tried

to persuade her husband to adopt a similarly

chaste lifestyle based on Christ's teaching.

He alienated her, however, by continuing to live

a sexually immoral lifestyle. In spite of her

deep desire to leave him, her friends advised

her to stay to try to win her husband. Her husband

so declined in unnatural vice, however, that

in the end she gave him a writ of divorce. Upon

this, Her husband reported her to the authorities

for her Christian faith. Kind of a really interesting

wrinkle there. This is in the very, very early

church. Like I said, I think this is in the second

century. I could be wrong on that, second or

third. So all that I'm saying there here is,

again, we're putting this all together. So the

unbelieving husband or unbelieving wife can stay

with the believer. But if there is sexual immorality,

then Jesus' words come into play where then she

would be permitted to divorce. I hope I made

that clear. I'm simply applying there both the

teachings of Jesus and Paul that if the unbeliever

is sexually immoral, then Jesus' exception comes

into play and the believing spouse has grounds

for a lawful divorce. Though the religion and

beliefs are different, they can continue to live

together. But yet there is sanctification in

this mixed marriage. Verse 14, the unbelieving

spouse is sanctified by the believing spouse.

That is, he or she is set apart and dedicated

to God by the believing spouse. Furthermore,

the children are holy. rather than unclean. I'm

not planning to get into that today. I hope to

treat that in the next sermon, Lord willing,

in two weeks. I want to go into that further

because there's a lot there in that one. The

implication is that God's blessing and present

extends to the household through the believer.

And so the marriage is not defiled, but it has

potential for redemptive influence. Now we might

say, in what way is the unbelieving husband sanctified

by a believing wife? or an unbelieving wife sanctified

by a believing husband. I said this is a difficult

one, and it is. But I'm going to give you several

possibilities of the meaning of this, and I think

maybe the last one might be the best one. But

we'll kind of go through here. And again, there's

a lot of ideas on this because it's not real

clear. First of all, this does not mean... that

the unbeliever is automatically a saved person.

No, they're still unbelievers. So whatever this

sanctification is, it doesn't mean that they're

saved, as in having a new heart, regenerated,

and they'll go to heaven. So secondly, it is

worthy of note that in this case, it is not the

unclean that makes the clean profane or unholy.

Often like in the case of separation that was

talked about or in others when holy and unclean

come together the unclean makes the holy unclean.

But that is not the case here. It is the complete

opposite. Here it is that the holy makes clean

the unholy or sanctifies it in some way. The

presence of the Christian spouse has a sanctifying

influence on the unbelieving spouse. Indeed,

there are abundant blessings that flow from the

grace of God in the life of a believer that extends

to the husband and even to the whole household.

Even if just one of the spouses becomes a believer,

the influence pervades and goes through the whole

house. The unbelieving spouse receives a Christian

witness that he or she might not have received

in any other way. I love the way Anthony Thistleton

put this. He says, the lifestyle of the believing

spouse, their example, their witness and prayer

and living out of the gospel is bound to affect

the ethos and to some extent the values and lifestyle

of the home, whether this be the husband or the

wife. They live in a sacred environment, a sphere

in which God's holiness and transforming power

operate. I'll give you this one example that

can maybe help us to grasp this a little more.

We think of the difference of living in a Christian

or mostly Christian nation versus living in a

pagan nation. There's a host of wonderful blessings

that come to all citizens of a nation that operates

on Christian principles or is a Christian nation.

There's a host of blessings to it. I mean, think

about it. Low crime, living peacefully and secure,

protected rights of persons, honorable judges,

clearly defined laws, even good roads sometimes.

There's all sorts of things like that that are

the blessing of living in a nation that is pervaded

with a Christian influence. And yet, even for

the unbeliever, these blessings abound, these

collateral benefits, you might say. And so also,

I think, it is with this case in the household.

There's a sanctifying influence that permeates

either a household or a nation through the blessings

of a Christian spouse or citizens. I think this

is a very valid and plausible reason, and it's

one that I think is certainly to be understood.

However, there's also just the fact that this

could simply mean That while a Christian is not

to marry an unbeliever, for that is being unequally

yoked together, this union of believer and unbeliever

is approved and permissible. It is blessed and

sanctified by God as a consequence and extended

blessing of the conversion. So now it's simply

this is God's imprimatur upon them saying what

would have been wrong in one case. You are not,

it's now okay. You are blessed and sanctified

by God in this marriage relationship between

a believer and an unbeliever. Whatever it is,

I think I've given you some good ideas here.

Hopefully they resonate with you. But I will

say this, this principle does not, it does not

give permission or license for a Christian to

marry An unbeliever. With the expectation that.

Oh I'll have a sanctifying influence upon him.

Or I'll win him to Christ. Or win her to Christ.

If I go ahead and marry them. That is possible.

But the command is clear. We are to marry only

in the Lord. So do not use this passage. To make

an excuse for a believer. Marrying an unbeliever.

At the end of this chapter, verse 39, a wife

is bound by law as long as her husband lives,

but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to

be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

Only in the Lord. Well, then in verse 15 and

16, he gets into some freedom, though, if the

believer does depart, if the believer departs.

If the unbeliever departs or separates from the

Christian in the marriage, That is, they don't

want to live with the believer anymore, and so

they separate or divorce the Christian spouse.

In this case, Paul says, a brother or a sister

is not under bondage in such cases. That is,

they are no longer bound to this marriage. Not

being under bondage, they are free to remarry.

The desertion by an unbelieving spouse is the

other exception given for remarriage without

violating the word of God given by Jesus and

Paul. After being deserted, the believer is no

longer under bondage. That is, they are no longer

bound to this person. They are thus free to marry

another. The marriage has been breached and there

has been a disillusion of the bond just like

the wife spoken of in verse 39 that I just read.

A wife is bound by law as long as her husband

lives. There's a binding in marriage that takes

place. If her husband dies, she's at liberty

to be married. When he says here, are no longer

bound i believe he's meaning the same thing the

death of a husband frees the wife from being

bound so also the desertion of an unbelieving

spouse frees the other from being bound i will

say though that situations like this can be difficult

and messy and they need good and wise pastoral

counsel and care and wisdom for sure And the

reason that he gives here is that God has called

us to peace. It is much better to live in peace

than with contention and strife. Romans 12, 18.

If it is possible, as much as depends on you,

live peaceably with all men. And again in verse

19 of chapter 14 of Romans. Therefore, let us

pursue the things which make for peace and the

things by which one may edify another. Paul says,

here and it's not bondage they're not in bondage

in such such cases that god has called us to

peace now there are some interpreters of this

that will simply say that simply means that she

needs she or he simply needs to let them go That

they can just go and they don't have to be anxious

about it. But I think the word bondage there

is more indicative of being bound in marriage.

And now they are no longer bound in marriage.

And thus they are free to marry another. In the

search for peace. Remember the sanctifying influence

of the Christian spouse. He says, For how do

you know, O wife, whether you will save your

husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether

you will save your wife? There's an evangelistic

opportunity through continued witness in the

marriage. Peter speaks of this in 1 Peter 3,

1 Peter 3:1

verse 1 and 2, when he speaks to wives. He says,

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands,

that if, even if, Some do not obey the word.

They, without a word, may be won by the conduct

of their wives when they observe your chaste

conduct accompanied by fear. Let us seek then

for peace. Well, let's draw a few final applications

in summary. I know in this I've gotten pretty

detailed. This passage really needs to be unpacked

and I hope I've not. bored you or created difficulty

in it. It's one of those things where it has

to be going through and explained pretty clearly.

So an application. Our culture of no -fault divorce

has wreaked havoc on faithful marriages and the

family. Just follow your heart is not a prescription

for working through difficulties and being reconciled.

No, we are to work it out. To go deep. And sadly,

many of the rom -coms or books and movies glorify

divorce, adultery, and teach a low view of marriage.

And thus then, the culture influences and affects

God's people. And so, be aware of that. We live

in a day of very easy, no -fault divorce. And

it's so easy to say, oh, I just wasn't into him

anymore. Or I just want to follow my heart. Or

this is tough, so I think I'll just go find another

one. And everything lends itself to that. We

live in a culture of no -fault divorce. I don't

want to be bothered by the responsibility anymore.

I just want to go be single again or whatever

it is. What if an unlawful divorce or remarriage

has taken place in the past? And the person or

the couple are convicted by the Holy Spirit and

the word of God that they sinned. We see this

at times. There's sometimes some notable cases

of this where there was an unlawful divorce and

remarriage that has taken place. There was sin

or there was adultery or whatever it is. So what

if this has taken place in the past? Well, then

they need to confess the sin before the Lord

and repent of it. But two wrongs do not make

a right. Therefore, they should stay in the present

marriage and live for the glory of God and work

it out. I come from a background, and this is

kind of rare, but I come from a background in

my Mennonite days where that was not allowed

and they actually forced married couples to divorce

if they had another living former spouse. And

so it just really created a mess. That's why

I just say here, if... If something like that

happened in the past, do two wrongs, do not make

a right. Don't do another divorce in light of

it. Maybe there was an affair and the husband

divorced his wife and married another and then

he saw his sin and repented. Then be faithful.

There are many examples of couples like this

who are now living faithfully and I thank God

for each one, each one that I know of. There's

always things to work through. Sin always complicates,

but do not commit the sin of another divorce.

Next, if you're having marriage difficulties

and you're even contemplating divorce or separation,

then please get help. Please get help. There

are many resources available in the church and

biblical counselors. There are good books. And

furthermore, you're surrounded with people who

love you. We all want your marriages to succeed.

That is what we want. And so if you're struggling

with something, do not give in to the thought

of divorce. For there is a way out through the

grace and the mercy of God. Resolve to fight

for your marriage with the full resources of

the gospel. You have the unique resources for

help. You have the Holy Spirit. You have the

word of God. And you have the church of Jesus

Christ by your side. In summary then. Marriage

is a covenant. God's word gives a strong emphasis

on permanence, reconciliation, and faithfulness,

reflecting God's design. Christian believers

may not divorce each other without a just cause

of sexual immorality or desertion. There are

some faithful expositors that teach that severe

or persistent abuse, especially physical or life

-threatening, may be included as a form of willful

desertion. desertion elders certainly need to

assess repentance safety and whether reconciliation

is possible and certainly matthew 18 church discipline

process applies to the abuser in that case If

a believer divorces a spouse without just cause

and refuses to be reconciled, this is a grievous

sin. And the church is responsible to admonish

the one who is departing. If they will not repent

and be reconciled, then the church will need

to consider church discipline. For this is open

rebellion against the clear commandment of the

word of God. Remember the passage in Malachi,

how the God hates. divorce and the ill treatment

of the marriage partner. And finally, mixed marriages

are not to be abandoned lightly. The believer's

presence can be a means of grace and potential

salvation for the spouse and the children. But

if the believer is deserted, they are free from

being bound and can remarry in the Lord. I hope

that this has been a helpful exposition of this

passage. Certainly, if you have questions, feel

free to ask me about them or talk about them

or further study. This is kind of a compilation

of a number of other things, and I hope that

it has been helpful. So may the Lord be praised

in it all. Let's pray.