Sermon

Nurturing and Training Children in Christian Faith & Practice, Part 2, 7/26/26

Grace Reformed Church of Weiser Sermons

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  1. Today we continue in the following sermon from

  2. last week on nurturing and training children

  3. in Christian faith and practice. We're going

  4. to look today or begin with Psalm 78 verses 1

    Psalms 78:1–8

  5. through 8. You can turn there in their scriptures.

  6. Psalm 78 is quite a long psalm. The Works of

  7. God and the Failures of His People for 72 verses.

  8. But we're going to look at the beginning because

  9. this introduction is a key to developing the

  10. subject that I'm going to be looking at today.

  11. Hear the word of the Lord. Give ear, O my people,

  12. to my law. Incline your ears to the words of

  13. my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable.

  14. I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have

  15. heard and known and our fathers have told us.

  16. We will not hide them from their children, telling

  17. to the generation to come the praises of the

  18. Lord and his strength and his wonderful works

  19. that he has done. For he established a testimony

  20. in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which

  21. he commanded our fathers, that they should make

  22. them known to their children, that the generation

  23. to come might know them, the children who would

  24. be born, that they may arise and declare them

  25. to their children, that they may set their hope

  26. in God and not forget the works of God, but keep

  27. his word. And may not be like their fathers,

  28. a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation

  29. that did not set its heart right and whose spirit

  30. was not faithful to God. Let's pray. Fathers,

  31. we come into this subject today. Lord, I pray

  32. that you would again open my mouth with your

  33. words, Lord, that you would inspire me, Lord,

  34. through the Holy Spirit to be able to declare

  35. your word accurately and faithfully. We pray

  36. that you would open up our hearts to receive

  37. it, Lord. Change us, O God, where we need changed.

  38. Encourage us, Lord, where we need encouraged.

  39. And in everything, we pray that your people would

  40. be edified and that you would be glorified. We

  41. ask this in Jesus' name. Amen. A few weeks ago,

  42. we considered the truth that God calls the children...

  43. of at least one Christian parent as holy children,

  44. saints of God. This is in 1 Corinthians chapter

    1 Corinthians 7 chapter mention

  45. 7, which we've been going through. Paul says

  46. they are not unclean, but set apart and considered

  47. to be saints of the Lord. Then last week I followed

  48. with a sermon on how to disciple these children

  49. who belong to God. How we as parents are to love

  50. them, modeling the father as he loves his son

  51. Jesus, And as God loves us, for God is love.

  52. The directive given to parents then is to bring

  53. them up in the nurture and admonition of the

  54. Lord, which is the way Paul describes the discipleship

  55. process in Ephesians 6, verse 4. And you fathers

    Ephesians 6:4

  56. do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring

  57. them up in the nurture or the training and the

  58. admonition of the Lord. Now, as I said last week,

  59. we're speaking here to a broad audience. There

  60. are some of us whose childbearing years are long

  61. gone. Some of us are grandparents. Some of us

  62. are single. And there's also a good number of

  63. us who are in the midst of the childbearing years.

  64. But it's still good for all of us because we

  65. are also called to help each other. Just as we

  66. promise in the baptismal promise. to love, care,

  67. and to support these parents as they raise their

  68. young children. So this is something good for

  69. us all to hear, even if we are not in the middle

  70. of childbearing years. Now our premise is that

  71. raising covenant children is a high and a holy

  72. calling, for we are commanded to love these children

  73. and to nurture them in the gospel and under the

  74. lordship of Jesus Christ. And by God's grace,

  75. by God's grace, with his help, we can then raise

  76. a generation that hopes in him, that keeps his

  77. commandments, and that, as Psalm 78 says, declares

  78. his praises to the next generation and to their

  79. children as well. Now on this subject, the great

  80. preacher Martin Lloyd -Jones observed, said,

  81. It is very interesting to observe in the long

  82. history of the Christian church how this particular

  83. matter, the one of which we are speaking, always

  84. reappears and receives great prominence at every

  85. period of revival and reawakening. Interesting

  86. how that happens. In other words, when the Spirit

  87. of God works in a mighty way in His people, This

  88. subject comes again to the hearts of the people

  89. to pass on to their children and to disciple

  90. them. He continues, the Protestant reformers

  91. were concerned about it and the instruction of

  92. children in moral and spiritual matters was given

  93. great prominence. Now there are several other

  94. directives given in God's word that expand this

  95. responsibility. And today I want to look at three

  96. more. responsibilities that are given to parents

  97. in addition to loving them and nurturing them

  98. we are also to teach them to train them and to

  99. correct and discipline them now there's a lot

  100. of overlap between these but i'm breaking this

  101. out just to for us to be able to really get in

  102. and and understand this truth all of this of

  103. course is discipleship all of these that is love

  104. nurture teach train and correction. They're part

  105. of the covenantal responsibilities that we have.

  106. And it flows out of God's covenant with us as

  107. he has saved us, washed us clean and sanctified

  108. us and blessed us with children as a heritage

  109. and a reward. You're raising little Christians.

  110. They are God's covenant children who are your

  111. brothers and sisters in Christ. And God has given

  112. you the responsibility, parents, of laboring

  113. in the Lord to see that Christ is formed in them.

  114. We see that in Galatians chapter 4, verse 29.

    Galatians 4:29

  115. We read of Timothy, who was a disciple. He was

  116. the son of a Jewish woman who believed, but whose

  117. father was a Greek, understood to be an unbeliever.

  118. Paul writes to Timothy in 2 Timothy 1 as a dear

  119. and beloved son. And he says, I call to remembrance

  120. the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt

  121. first in your grandmother Lois and your mother

  122. Eunice. And I am persuaded is in you also. See

  123. the multi -generational vision there, even in

  124. the case of an unbelieving father. Because we

  125. don't hear really nothing more of Timothy. But

  126. of Timothy's father. He was the son of this woman

  127. who believed and of a grandmother who believed.

  128. And he says, Paul says that, Therefore I remind

  129. you to stir up the gift of God which is in you

  130. through the laying on of my hands. May the Lord

  131. give his church hundreds and thousands more like

  132. this. Yea, even millions. of people like Timothy

  133. who have been discipled by their parents and

  134. by their grandparents, that they are faithful

  135. ministers, servants of the Lord in whatever capacity

  136. the Lord gives them. And by ministers there,

  137. I don't just mean somebody standing in the pulpit.

  138. I am talking about whatever God gives in the

  139. gifts of ministry in every sphere of life. May

  140. the Lord give us many more. And so to this end,

  141. let us consider three additional points of discipleship.

  142. The first is to teach your children. And for

  143. this, we turn to the book of Deuteronomy chapter

    Deuteronomy 6:6

  144. 6, verse 6 and 7. And these words which I command

  145. you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach

  146. them diligently to your children and shall talk

  147. of them. When you sit in your house, when you

  148. walk by the way, when you lie down, and when

  149. you rise up. Now in the prior verses to this

  150. passage, the initial opening of the Great Shema,

  151. which is the central confession of faith in the

  152. book of Deuteronomy, Moses reminds the children

  153. of Israel that the Lord is one God. He says,

  154. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is

  155. one. And then he proceeds with the central command,

  156. Which is the command that Jesus says is the first

  157. and greatest command in the whole of scripture.

  158. You shall love the Lord your God with all your

  159. heart, with all your soul, and with all your

  160. strength. And these words which I command you

  161. today shall be in your heart. Your heart, your

  162. soul, and your strength. From the very beginning,

  163. God desires worship, love, and obedience to him.

  164. From the heart. That is the innermost being.

  165. The thoughts and the desires of the heart. To

  166. love and to worship and to obey with all the

  167. strength that lies within us. The worship of

  168. God was never about performance, mindless duty,

  169. or rote obedience. He commands that it come from

  170. our heart, our soul, our mind. And with all of

  171. our strength. The rich liturgies. The worship

  172. practices. And obedience to the laws of God in

  173. the scripture. Are to be from the heart. And

  174. this should be the desire of every Christian

  175. parent. To teach your children. Yes. Be an example

  176. to teach them. How to worship. How to join in

  177. the Lord's prayer. Or to list the apostles creed.

  178. And sing the Gloria Patri or Sanctus. And shout

  179. out Psalm 134. Behold bless the Lord. But it's

  180. also from within that that they would have a

  181. fervent love for God. That they would love Him.

  182. And from that love would come reverent worship.

  183. Worship that comes from the heart, the mind,

  184. and the soul that continues on through the teen

  185. years and on into adulthood. That is the desire

  186. of God. It's not just do this, do this, do this.

  187. No, it's got to spring from a deep love and conviction

  188. within the heart. So with that as a foundation,

  189. then the instruction and command then comes in

  190. verse 7 of Deuteronomy 6. He says, you shall

  191. teach them diligently to your children. Now,

  192. teach them diligently is actually one Hebrew

  193. word. It means to whet, to sharpen, to teach

  194. incisively, even to pierce. So it's not just

  195. didactic teaching, it's to sharpen them. to make

  196. them aware, to teach them in that way. And this,

  197. of course, requires frequent repetition, putting

  198. in the hearts and minds of your children so that

  199. they are sharp and ready and well taught. There's

  200. a good reason why children are likened to arrows

  201. in light of this. In Psalm 127, verse 4 and 5,

    Psalms 127:4

  202. like arrows are in the hand of a warrior, so

  203. are the children of one's youth. Happy is the

  204. man who has his quiver full of them. They shall

  205. not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies

  206. in the gates. So again, we see this whole picture

  207. of parents sharpening, whetting, teaching their

  208. children so that they are faithful arrows. In

  209. the hands of a warrior or like that. This is

  210. the command of Deuteronomy. And preparing them

  211. to be arrows or weapons of warfare requires teaching

  212. them diligently. Parents, you are to instruct

  213. your children in God's word. God's word lives

  214. forever. It is the incorruptible seed of life.

  215. The word of God will always retain its power.

  216. But if you're to teach well, John Calvin says,

  217. then you must go to the trouble of being instructed

  218. in God's word in order to do your duty. In other

  219. words, if you're going to teach it, you have

  220. to be being... taught or living in it yourself

  221. being taught by reading the word of god or by

  222. hearing god's preaching the hearing other preaching

  223. or or to be instructed by wise teachers if you

  224. do not take great care to read and meditate on

  225. the word then you will not be able to teach well

  226. And this instruction, by the way, and teaching

  227. should come from both parents, father and mother.

  228. Proverbs 1 verse 8. My son, hear the instruction

    Proverbs 1:8

  229. of your father and do not forsake the law of

  230. your mother. So it comes from both. And so if

  231. we're going to teach our children God's word,

  232. then we ourselves must be taught in the word.

  233. And that is a personal. vibrant relationship

  234. with the lord and the study of his word in whatever

  235. way that we are able different people learn in

  236. different ways some of it might come through

  237. reading some from listening to sermons some from

  238. reading articles some from reading thick theological

  239. or heavier books there's all sorts of different

  240. ways sometimes it comes in the form of story

  241. There are some great teachers who can powerfully

  242. use story to illustrate it. Sometimes it comes

  243. from listening to something versus reading it

  244. yourself. But in all of this, simply the desire

  245. here, what is expressed is that we need to receive

  246. in order to teach. We need to be in the word.

  247. Now what does this teaching consist of? It speaks

  248. of talking to our children about God's holy words,

  249. his commandments, his precepts, his principles,

  250. his stories, and his history, woven together,

  251. and this is very important, with the gospel and

  252. with grace. Because the word of God is not just

  253. a series of principles. It's not just a collection

  254. of pithy sayings. No, it is the powerful word

  255. of God that is sharp. It's sharp like a sword

  256. and it reaches into the innermost heart of the

  257. being. And so in order to teach the word of God,

  258. then we must include together with it the whole

  259. story of the gospel and of grace and the power

  260. of God to change people's lives. The word of

  261. God to your children will not make them new just

  262. in and of itself. You must have the gospel with

  263. it. The gospel underlies the principles and the

  264. precepts and the laws and all of these things.

  265. And it takes and it pierces the heart. So it

  266. must be the gospel and grace woven together with

  267. the law, the commandments, the precepts, the

  268. principles and the stories. Again, Psalm 78 verse

    Psalms 78:4

  269. 4, which we read, we will not hide them from

  270. our children, telling the generation to come

  271. the praises of the Lord that they may set their

  272. hope in God. Another way of teaching is for you

  273. fathers to lead your children in family worship

  274. or to lead your family, your household in family

  275. worship. Read a short passage of scripture. Explain

  276. it. Discuss it with your children as appropriate.

  277. And then pray together. And this is going to

  278. look different if your children are really young

  279. versus when they get older. There might be more

  280. interaction or you get a little bit deeper. If

  281. your children are really young, sometimes it's

  282. just a couple of verses, something that they

  283. can understand from it. And then you sing. and

  284. pray with them, and there you have it. Some way

  285. of discipleship with your children. If you have

  286. difficulty with this, there are wonderful aids

  287. that help. Pastor Kevin Swanson has some great

  288. guides for many of the books of the Bible at

  289. generations .org, where he just takes it and

  290. again just provides a concise outline of the

  291. passage, a few points from it. It can be very

  292. helpful in family worship. reformation heritage

  293. books also has a family bible worship guide again

  294. kind of in the same way and that is on every

  295. chapter of the bible when your children are very

  296. young keep it simple give them one or two concepts

  297. but however you do it teach your children to

  298. love and to worship god and to love his word

  299. furthermore if we are to teach them then the

  300. education of christian children must be a Christian

  301. education. The education of your children must

  302. be a Christian education. Two hours on a Sunday

  303. morning, while absolutely vital, will not suffice

  304. to bring up your children to nurture and train

  305. them in Christian faith and practice. Why should

  306. our children drink deeply? At the fountain of

  307. atheistic and worldly teaching about the origins

  308. of the world or of the humanistic and rationalistic

  309. methods of understanding God's world that we

  310. live in or of science with false premises or

  311. of history distorted by enlightenment assumptions

  312. or social studies shaped by the claim that all

  313. cultures are equal and that woke or multicultural

  314. ideologies are the measure of truth. How can

  315. we expect to raise Christian children when they're

  316. sitting in that for four or five days a week

  317. and then we just supplement with going to church

  318. on Sunday now yes we need to have family worship

  319. that is also a help but children need a Christian

  320. education when the glories of the created universe

  321. are taught and the beauty and the glory of the

  322. earth or the incredible complexity of the human

  323. body or even the order of mathematics we should

  324. be led to worship to praise our God and to understand

  325. it according to his will, his ways, and his word.

  326. We should be led by all of these wonderful subjects

  327. to adore the God who created all of these things.

  328. The children of the covenant belong to God. They

  329. are not... to be discipled primarily by a system

  330. that ignores him or even worse, that denies him.

  331. This is one of the reasons why, looking into

  332. the future, it is our desire and hope to have

  333. a Christian school in this town someday. Now,

  334. homeschooling is also part of it. There's various

  335. ways of education, but a Christian school is

  336. certainly part or one of the ways. Number five,

  337. teach them the history of the works of God in

  338. the world. So teach them. We're looking all just

  339. fleshing out this, what it is to teach them.

  340. This should include world history, ancient history,

  341. church history, and even the history of our nation.

  342. This includes... teaching the bad parts too,

  343. just like the Bible does. The times when the

  344. worship of God was forsaken and the people were

  345. disobedient. Consider this passage from Psalm

  346. 48, and I'm going to get to it in just a moment.

  347. But as we read this Psalm, we need to read it

  348. in light of the passage from Hebrews chapter

    Hebrews 12 chapter mention

  349. 12, which speaks to the Christian church. It

  350. says, but you have come to Mount Zion and to

  351. the city of the living God. the heavenly Jerusalem.

  352. So when you hear the word Zion in this psalm,

  353. think of the dwelling place of God by the Spirit

  354. with his people, both Old and New Testament,

  355. is the center of true worship and the assembly

  356. of God's people. Now hear these words. Excuse

  357. me. The smoke is... Walk about Zion and go all

  358. about her. count her towers, mark well her bulwarks,

  359. consider her palaces, that you may tell it to

  360. the generation following. For this is our God,

  361. our God forever and ever. He will be our guide

  362. even to death. Psalm 48, 12 to 14. Let's unpack

  363. this a little bit in light of the teaching, because

  364. the teaching is in here. We are to tell it to

  365. the next generation, the generation following.

  366. So walk about her, count her towers. This means

  367. to review the work of God in the ages past. He

  368. says to mark her bulwarks well. That is the buttresses

  369. of faith and truth through the ages that have

  370. kept and guarded the word of God. Paul tells

  371. Timothy, I write so that you may know how you

  372. ought to conduct yourself in the house of God.

  373. Which is the church of the living God, the pillar

  374. and the ground of the truth. So we're looking

  375. here at pillars, grounding, bulwarks, buttresses.

  376. These are all great foundational principles.

  377. The principles of the word of God. Thus teach

  378. your children or find teachers that can tell

  379. them about the importance of the word. That can

  380. flesh it out. but also in historically the importance

  381. of the early creeds and the controversies that

  382. surrounded them or the solid confessions of faith

  383. that were born in times of great difficulty and

  384. of doctrinal differences that brought together

  385. a good and faithful summary of biblical doctrine.

  386. Tell them about the renewals and the true revivals

  387. that stood against apostasy and false doctrine

  388. and apathetic living. Regale your children with

  389. the stories of Athanasius. who stood against

  390. the false teaching of Arianism, or Boniface,

  391. the English missionary, who went to the dark

  392. and pagan Germanic tribes, and he chopped down

  393. that big tree that was considered their idol,

  394. and then he broke up it into little branches

  395. and told them to go home and rejoice in the birth

  396. of the Lord Jesus Christ on the earth, which

  397. is the beginning of many of the festivities of

  398. Christmas that we have in the greenery. That

  399. was Boniface. Or of Polycarp, the aged bishop

  400. who would not recant his faith in the time of

  401. ancient Rome and was then martyred for his faith.

  402. Or Perpetua, the one whose nursing daughter was

  403. torn away from her breast and she was slaughtered

  404. and killed because of her faith in Christ. Or

  405. of the stories of King Alfred the Great. That

  406. great Christian king of the Anglo -Saxons who

  407. defeated the Viking invaders. He promoted Christian

  408. education. He helped to set up schools so that

  409. the young could learn. And he created a fair

  410. and just law code based on the Bible. This was

  411. in the 800s. I could go on and on. Count her

  412. towers. Mark her well, her bulwarks. There are

  413. great resources that will teach and tell some

  414. of these stories that your children can listen

  415. to or that you can read and then tell them. As

  416. I have mentioned before, Pastor George Grant

  417. is a tremendous resource for many stories. If

  418. you go to georgegrant .net, his humanities courses

  419. are just amazing and great for history on antiquity

  420. or modernity or American culture and Christendom.

  421. But then also we consider her palaces. That is

  422. the great and notable deeds of God. The incredible

  423. exodus from Egypt and the miraculous deliverance,

  424. the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving

  425. of the law, the service of God, and the promises

  426. as Paul recounts in Romans 9 verse 4. They're

    Romans 9:4

  427. the glories of Christ and of his ordinances and

  428. his church. The flowering of art and science

  429. and architecture and political and spiritual

  430. freedom and the glorious culture that came because

  431. of the Christian faith and the worship of God.

  432. There is so much. And sometimes our mind can

  433. get boggled with all that is available. Just

  434. start with a few. Tell your children. Pass on

  435. the works of God. Tell it to them. Because this

  436. is how the next generation knows. Tell them the

  437. great works of God in your own life. Those of

  438. your remembrance. Or those of your grandfather

  439. or your father. A few years ago, I learned more

  440. of the story of my great -great -grandfather

  441. who was on his deathbed and somebody came. He

  442. did not know the Lord. He was raised Amish, but

  443. he did not have saving faith. And a preacher

  444. came to minister to him on his deathbed and was

  445. preaching the gospel to him. And my grandfather,

  446. was listening on the other side of the door.

  447. This preacher may have never known this. I don't

  448. know. And through that, the Lord saved him, and

  449. it affected our whole family. I stand here. I

  450. stand here today by the grace of God, yes, but

  451. by the grace of God working in that man who went

  452. and ministered to my great -grandfather, my great

  453. -great -grandfather. What an amazing thing. These

  454. are stories that need to be told. They need to

  455. be passed on. To the next generation. Because

  456. your God is also their God. And he is their God.

  457. And he will be your guide. And he will be their

  458. guide forever. Teach your children. Number two.

  459. Train your children. Proverbs 22 verse 6. Train

    Proverbs 22:6

  460. up a child in the way he should go. And when

  461. he is old he will not depart from it. A child

  462. left to himself brings shame to his mother. Proverbs

    Proverbs 29:15

  463. 29 verse 15 and Ephesians 6 verse 4. Bring them

    Ephesians 6:4

  464. up in the training and the admonition of the

  465. Lord. Parents, you have been given a great opportunity

  466. before God. Not only do you have offspring, that

  467. is your flesh and blood, and the creation of

  468. eternal souls that have come into being by the

  469. grace and the mercy of God through the act of

  470. knowing each other in a physical way. Let me

  471. just repeat that. This is such an incredible

  472. truth. Husband and wife come together in the

  473. way that God has created them. And the creation

  474. of eternal souls come into being by the grace

  475. and mercy of God through this act. Mothers, you

  476. went through nine months of nourishing that little

  477. one then in your womb. And during the pain, of

  478. the bodily changes, of how things change for

  479. you, and then the pain of childbirth. And now

  480. God has charged you, fathers and mothers, with

  481. the overwhelming responsibility and opportunity

  482. to take that eternal soul and to train your child

  483. in the way that he or she should go. To train

  484. up is to dedicate, is to inaugurate, is to bring

  485. up. It is to teach and to form by practice. And

  486. thus it is closely related to my earlier point.

  487. God instructs you to form your children by instruction

  488. and practice. And you train them for glory. Both

  489. in this life, both glory in this life and the

  490. glory of the world to come. This is the work

  491. of God and his mercy that you may rejoice and

  492. be glad. And as you train, let this prayer of

  493. Moses from Psalm 90. Verse 14 to 17, be your

  494. prayer. Oh, satisfy us early with your mercy

  495. that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

  496. Make us glad according to the days in which you

  497. have afflicted us, the years in which we have

  498. seen evil. Let your work appear to your servants

  499. and your glory to their children and let the

  500. beauty of the Lord our God be upon us and establish

  501. the work of our hands for us. Yes, establish

  502. the work of our hands. Lord, let your work appear

  503. to your servants and your glory to their children.

  504. Because of God's work through you and in you,

  505. then children's children are the crown of old

  506. men and the glory of children is their father.

  507. Proverbs 17, verse 6. Training involves the whole

    Proverbs 17:6

  508. person. It is the character, the affections,

  509. the attitudes, the motivations, and the actions.

  510. Matthew Henry says to train up a child, train

  511. up children in that age of vanity to keep them

  512. from the sins and the snares of it. In that learning

  513. age to prepare them for what they are designed

  514. for. Catechize them. Initiate them. Keep them

  515. under discipline. Train them as soldiers who

  516. are taught to handle their arms, to keep rank,

  517. and observe the word of command. Train them up,

  518. not in the way that they would go on the bias

  519. of their corrupt hearts would draw them aside

  520. but in the way they should go the way in which

  521. if you love them you would have them go john

  522. gill further adds train up a child in the way

  523. he should go as abraham trained up his children

  524. and those born in his house in the way of the

  525. lord in the paths of justice and judgment which

  526. are the ways in which they should go and which

  527. would be to their profit and advantage This is

  528. in Genesis chapter 14 and verse 14. This is the

    Genesis 14 chapter mention

  529. duty of parents and masters in all ages. To bring

  530. up those under their care and the nurture and

  531. the admonition of the Lord. Now this training

  532. should start at a very young age. Surrounding

  533. your children with love and care. You also start

  534. teaching them what your word means when you say

  535. no. No. You don't wait till they're five or six

  536. to start telling them no. No, at a young age,

  537. sometimes even a nursing child will start exercising

  538. their will against you, perhaps by arching their

  539. back or biting or other such things, and you

  540. can look them in the eye and say, No. Affirm

  541. no. When your child starts crawling and reaches

  542. for things that are not good, like a hot wood

  543. stove, for example, don't just remove them from

  544. the premise, but show them the item. Tell them

  545. that this is a no -no. Maybe even flicking their

  546. hand if they continue reaching for it, that in

  547. some way they associate, oh, mom said no, dad

  548. said no. This is important. This is training.

  549. It must happen. It teaches them in a loving way

  550. that mother or father are to be obeyed and there

  551. are limits to what they can do. And this training,

  552. of course, as I began this, it requires obedience

  553. from them. But as you require obedience, you

  554. also point them to Jesus as you teach them to

  555. obey. Why? Because Jesus is our example. We teach

  556. them to obey like Jesus who was subject to Mary

  557. and Joseph. Luke 2 verse 51. Then he went down

    Luke 2:51

  558. with them and came to Nazareth and was subject

  559. to them. Hebrews describes his obedience saying

  560. of Jesus who in the days of his flesh when he

  561. had offered up prayers and supplications with

  562. vehement cries and tears to him who was able

  563. to save him from death and was heard because

  564. of his godly fear though he was a son. yet he

  565. learned obedience by the things that he suffered.

  566. Jesus always did the will of the Father in heaven,

  567. and in this he is both our Savior and our example.

  568. So this obedience we need to teach to our children,

  569. that they are to obey right away and with a cheerful

  570. attitude. And if you have to threaten or count

  571. to ten before your children obey you, then it's

  572. not obedience from the heart, but it's out of

  573. fear of punishment or the loss of reward or something.

  574. You can teach and train your children to obey

  575. you right away and with a cheerful attitude.

  576. But you've got to work at it. It's hard work

  577. for this and paying attention. And of course,

  578. this all must be surrounded with love. You can

  579. teach them to use good manners, to say thank

  580. you or please and to be grateful. Train them

  581. to have and maintain a cheerful heart, to be

  582. able to change their attitude and to show respect

  583. to whom it is due. Again, this requires diligence,

  584. application and your time and attention. It requires

  585. also... that you govern your own attitudes, your

  586. own manners, and your own affections. Because

  587. if you are ungoverned, your children also will

  588. be, because they will imitate you. In all your

  589. training, though, let it not be too perfectionistic

  590. or demanding. Your children will make mistakes.

  591. Love them. Laugh with them. Let your relationship

  592. with them be warm. and not based on their performance.

  593. Let the aroma of your household be that of the

  594. fruits of the Holy Spirit at work in you as parents

  595. and in your children. What are the fruits of

  596. the Spirit in the household? It is an aroma of

  597. love, of joy, of peace, of long -suffering, of

  598. kindness, of goodness. of faithfulness and gentleness

  599. and self -control. These are the fruits of the

  600. Spirit, and we need these in our own lives, but

  601. we need to also demonstrate them to our children

  602. so that they might learn them as well as the

  603. Spirit works in them. Surround your training

  604. by love and affection. Hear the wise words of

  605. Bishop J .C. Ryle on this subject. He says, Train

  606. up your child with all tenderness, affection,

  607. and patience. Love should be the silver thread

  608. that runs through all your conduct. Kindness,

  609. gentleness, long -suffering, forbearance, patience,

  610. sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish

  611. troubles, and a readiness to take part in childish

  612. joys. These are the cords by which a child may

  613. be led most easily. These are the clues you must

  614. follow if you would find the way to his heart.

  615. Children's minds are cast in much the same mold

  616. as our own. Sternness and severity of manner

  617. chill them. and throw them back. It shuts up

  618. their hearts. Let them see that you have an affectionate

  619. feeling toward them, that you really desire us

  620. to make them happy and do them good, and that

  621. if you punish them, it is intended for their

  622. profit. and that, like the pelican, you would

  623. give your heart's blood to nourish their souls.

  624. They must be wooed with kindness if their attention

  625. is ever to be won. Love is one grand secret of

  626. successful training. Anger and harshness may

  627. frighten, but they will not persuade the child

  628. that you are right. If he sees you often out

  629. of temper, you will soon cease to have his respect.

  630. End quote. But what amazing and wonderful words

  631. the venerable bishop writes. J .C. Ryle. Number

  632. three, correct and discipline your children.

  633. Proverbs 3, verse 11 and 12. My son, do not despise

    Proverbs 3:11

  634. the chastening of the Lord. For whom the Lord

  635. loves, he corrects. Proverbs 29, 15, the rod

  636. and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself

  637. brings shames to his mother. Proverbs 13, 24,

  638. he who spares his rod hates his son, but he who

  639. loves him disciplines him promptly. Proverbs

    Proverbs 3:12

  640. 3, verse 12, for whom the Lord loves, he corrects,

  641. just as the father of the son in whom he delights.

  642. And Hebrews 12, 5 to 7. Whom the Lord loves,

  643. he chastens. Now no chastening seems to be joyful

  644. for the present, but painful. Nevertheless, afterward

  645. it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness.

  646. The scripture is full of guidance and the need

  647. to use correction and discipline in the training

  648. and formation of children. And not only children,

  649. but for all of us. Because of our sinful and

  650. stubborn hearts, teaching and admonishing is

  651. not always enough. Sometimes we need a corrective.

  652. A chastening that is understood and it drives

  653. away foolishness. For adults, of course, this

  654. looks very differently than it does for young

  655. children. But God, sometimes, as one of my pastors

  656. used to say, sometimes God needs to spank us.

  657. And he does through circumstances or through

  658. experiencing the consequences of our own actions.

  659. But for our children, Proverbs and Psalms speak

  660. much of this foolishness foolishness is bound

  661. up in the heart of a child but the rod of correction

  662. drives it far from him indeed we are by nature

  663. the children of wrath and left to ourselves we

  664. conduct ourselves in the lust of the flesh fulfilling

  665. the desires of the flesh and of the mind. Ephesians

    Ephesians 2:3

  666. 2, verse 3. A child less to himself or to herself

  667. will be a child of ruin. This is not to say that

  668. the grace of God cannot accomplish something

  669. great. It can, but there will be much hardship.

  670. But the fact is that God has entrusted us as

  671. parents to give them correction and to bring

  672. chastisement at times. Correction begins with

  673. clear words and expectations. A child needs to

  674. understand, first of all, what the expectations

  675. and rules are. You cannot punish or discipline

  676. if you have not made it clear what the expectations

  677. are, what the law is. These cannot be arbitrary

  678. or changing parameters like the shifting hills

  679. of sand. And then when the child disobeys, the

  680. correction or the discipline needs to be commensurate

  681. with the offense. Lying is a much greater offense

  682. than being grumpy. Sometimes a child needs to

  683. be sent to their room and told to come out when

  684. they've changed their attitude. We need wisdom

  685. in all of this. When I lied as a boy, my parents

  686. would put soap in my mouth. And it tasted absolutely

  687. horrible. I learned very quickly not to lie because

  688. of the consequence of soap in my mouth. It taught

  689. me very quickly to control my tongue. But while

  690. correction and discipline is not the only use

  691. of corporal discipline, it is not only the use

  692. of a rod or a paddle in a spanking, but it does

  693. include it. God's way of training includes the

  694. use of corrective discipline that will sharpen

  695. the mind and bring the child's attention to the

  696. matter. But when this is done, parents, you must

  697. be self -controlled, not cruel, harsh, angry,

  698. or unreasonable. If you're angry or frustrated,

  699. wait. Get your heart settled first and then work

  700. with your child. in the disobedience. And accompany

  701. the session of discipline with prayer, with love,

  702. and with forgiveness. With forgiveness. Done

  703. rightly, this will bring wisdom to the child.

  704. It will show them love and it will yield the

  705. peaceable fruit of righteousness. If you're unsure

  706. of some of the practical aspects, which I'm not

  707. going to get into in this sermon, feel free to

  708. ask parents who have successfully trained or

  709. raised their children or who have wisdom in this

  710. matter. But correction and discipline are a necessary

  711. part of bringing up and raising God's covenant

  712. children that he has given to us. Finally, a

  713. few more practical applications as we bring this

  714. to a close. One is, parents, be very careful

  715. with technology, particularly smartphones, tablets,

  716. and other media that's connected to the Internet.

  717. It's a tool, like power tools are tools in the

  718. shop, but don't turn a three -year -old loose

  719. with a drill. It's a tool. Do not turn children

  720. loose with it until they are mature enough to

  721. use it well. They can be like drugs, and they

  722. should wait until they are mature enough to handle

  723. them responsibly as tools, and even then, they're

  724. safeguards to be able to help. I just encourage

  725. you, don't babysit your children with a screen.

  726. It's not good for it at all, and many bad things

  727. can happen. Secondly, in an application, use

  728. creativity. Train, but do not stifle. Oppressive

  729. control can drive creativity underground, only

  730. for it to emerge later in harmful ways. Encourage

  731. godly creativity and channel it rightly, but

  732. you need to allow creativity to flourish in your

  733. children. And then I came across these... This

  734. wonderful thing. John Bunyan's General Duties

  735. of Parents to Children. Thought they were so

  736. good and I wanted to share them with you. Be

  737. a pattern and a model. Your life must not contradict

  738. your teaching. Instruct them diligently in the

  739. principles of the Christian religion. This is

  740. the author of Pilgrim's Progress. Bring them

  741. up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

  742. Ephesians 6 .4. Correct them with wisdom, love,

  743. and consistency and not in passion. Pray for

  744. them. continually and i should have said i alluded

  745. to it before but i should have made it a point

  746. pray for your children pray earnestly often and

  747. urgently for your children that christ would

  748. be formed in them keep them from all from evil

  749. company and worldly snares and provide for their

  750. bodies while prioritizing their souls and teach

  751. them both by precept and example that the fear

  752. of the lord is the beginning of wisdom And finally,

  753. I want to address this, and that is failure.

  754. What if you failed? Some of what I preached about

  755. today has been our experience, but I also see

  756. many areas where I missed it, where I failed,

  757. and I acknowledge how much better I could have

  758. done. Now, thankfully, there's much good teaching

  759. available, many better resources now than there

  760. was before, 30, 35 years ago. And I praise the

  761. Lord for this. But nevertheless, there is grace

  762. from the Lord for the forgiveness of sins. And

  763. the power of the Holy Spirit to work in a way

  764. that is far above what we can ask or think. So

  765. if you're looking back and you think, oh, if

  766. I just would have known this. Oh, if I just would

  767. have done this differently. Yes, we can certainly

  768. do that. I mean, we look back and we can remember

  769. and it should just drive us to the Lord and say,

  770. Lord, have mercy. And please remediate this in

  771. the life of our children or grandchildren or

  772. whatever it may be the case. But there is forgiveness

  773. of sins and we thank God for that. And while

  774. there are consequences, sometimes God in his

  775. mercy and his grace mitigates even those consequences.

  776. He does it many times. And for this, we are grateful.

  777. And one of the greatest examples of that in the

  778. scriptures, I've mentioned this some time ago,

  779. but I'm going to bring it again here today. And

  780. that is with the sons and the grandsons. Of Samuel

  781. the prophet. Samuel the prophet. Samuel was a

  782. faithful judge. He had a heart after God. He

  783. walked with God. But he was gone a lot. He had

  784. to travel the length of Israel. And he had various

  785. places that he was set up. And his sons grew

  786. up to be not like him. They took bribes. They

  787. were corrupt. Became corrupt judges. But he had

  788. a grandson. and the grandson records his actions.

  789. His grandson was named Heman. Heman was one of

  790. the chief musicians appointed by King David to

  791. lead the worship and the service of song before

  792. the tabernacle and then later in the temple.

  793. Heman was the son of Joel. His dad took bribes.

  794. He was not right. His grandfather was a very

  795. godly man. And Heman directed a group of singers

  796. and musicians along with Asaph and Ethan or Juduthin.

  797. And Heman had 14 sons and 3 daughters. 14 sons

  798. and 3 daughters. What happened to them? All of

  799. them served. In musical ministry. Underneath

  800. his direction. In the temple of the Lord. In

  801. the house of the Lord. This is in 1 Chronicles

    1 Chronicles 25 chapter mention

  802. chapter 25. Heman himself is credited with authoring

  803. Psalm 88. And he is called the king seer. This

  804. lineage then shows a redemptive arc. While Samuel's

  805. sons fell short. His grandson Heman became a

  806. faithful servant who led Israel in worship and

  807. his descendants continued in that role. Samuel's

  808. influence or prayers may have borne fruit in

  809. the next generation despite his son's failures.

  810. And I say this not to excuse failure, but to

  811. show the grace and the mercy and the blessing

  812. of God. It thrills me to read that account. And

  813. so, dear church, may your household be like the

  814. man described in Psalm 112. Praise the Lord.

  815. Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who delights

  816. greatly in his commandments. His descendants

  817. will be mighty on earth. The generation of the

  818. upright will be blessed. We are so grateful for

  819. the forgiveness of sin and for the bringing of

  820. new life to the dead and for stirring within

  821. our own hearts and blessing. our children and

  822. our grandchildren and our great -grandchildren.

  823. This is our desire for all of us, that our descendants

  824. would be mighty on earth and the generation of

  825. the upright would be blessed. Let's pray.