Christ Church Sermon Real Relationships Built For Connection Janauary 25 2026

You're listening to a message from our

weekly worship at Christ Church in Bethl

Park, Pennsylvania. We're a United

Methodist congregation with the mission

of building inclusive community, sharing

Christ's transforming love. To learn

more about the church, including how you

can join us for worship online or in

person, visit christummc.net.

Thank you for listening.

Our scripture today is John 15:12-17.

John 15:12–17

My command is this. Love each other as I

have loved you. Greater love has no one

than this, to lay down one's life for

one's friends. You are my friends if you

do what I command. I no longer call you

servants because a servant does not know

his master's business. Instead, I have

called you friends. For everything that

I learned from my father, I have made

known to you. You did not choose me, but

I choose you and appointed you so that

you might go and bear fruit. Fruit that

will last and so that whatever you ask

in my name, the Father will give you.

This is my command. Love each other.

Hear what the Spirit is saying to the

church. Thanks be to God. Did you know

that there is such a thing as a

friendship recession? Gallup did a

survey about friendships back in 1990

and then the American Enterprise

Institute did a similar one in 2021. A

scholar at the American Enterprise

Institute who analyzed the data in those

two sets of results noticed a decrease

in the amount of friendship that adults

in our society reported to have from the

first survey to the second. And he

coined the term friendship recession to

describe that pattern. During that

31-year time span, some alarming

friendship trends took shape. The

percentage of people who reported having

fewer than two close friendships

doubled, going from 16% to 32%. In 1990,

3% of people reported that they had no

close friends at all. By 2021, that

number had jumped to 12% for women and

15% for men. No close relationships. The

group that was most at risk in all of

this is men under the age of 30. A full

28% of the people in that group report

having zero close friends. And when I

say close friends, I'm not talking about

having people with whom you can hang out

or socialize or watch a football game.

I'm talking about um people who really

can connect with you. People who know

who you are, people who share the things

that are happening in your life, your

hardships, your dreams, your joys, and

your fears. We can argue about causes

and some are obvious. The invention of

the internet changed so much about how

we relate to one another. The invention

of AI means we don't even need to have a

real person on the other side of a

computer chat. And the pandemic just

exacerbated all of our disconnection.

But whatever the cause, the fact is

this. More people today than at any

other time in recent history are lacking

real and genuine connection, which is at

the heart of a friendship or any

relationship.

This scripture passage that I just read

is all about what it takes to build the

kind of connection that comes in

authentic relationships. And so, as we

begin our sermon series on real

relationships, talking about connection

seems like a good place to start.

Good and honest connection is something

that's needed in all different types of

relationships from friendships to

marriages to parenting and so much more.

This message from Jesus that we just

heard comes at the end of his earthly

ministry. He has been preaching and

teaching for 3 years. And just so you

have a mental timeline or a framework to

work from, at the time that Jesus says

what we heard in today's scripture, he's

only about 24 hours from being arrested.

And because Jesus knows that he has this

finite amount of time left, I would

imagine that he is carefully choosing

his final lessons for the disciples,

he's really got just this one more

chance to speak at length and to impart

wisdom to them. Therefore, it should

mean something to us that one of the

subjects he covers in this waning time

they have together is what it means to

be in relationship.

One important thing Jesus says about

being in real relationship with one

another is that it requires us to love

as Jesus loved. Remember John 15:12

John 15:12

says, "My command is this. Love each

other as I have loved you." That command

naturally begs the question, "What does

Jesus's love look like?" It looks like

the embodiment of 1 Corinthians 13. Love

is patient and love is kind. When I hear

that, I think about how Jesus stopped to

give time, attention, and healing to the

bleeding woman, even though he was on

his way to heal Gyrus's daughter.

Love does not envy. It does not boast.

It is not proud. When I hear that, I

think of Jesus finally getting to

Gyrus's house and seeing his daughter

lying dead on her mat and then Jesus

raising her from the dead and healing

her and then telling those who had

witnessed the miracle not to tell

anyone. Whatever the reason for that,

and there are several theories, Jesus

chose to protect that child and her

family over touting his own miraculous

abilities.

Love does not dishonor others. It's not

self-seeking. It's not easily angered.

It keeps no record of wrongs. I think of

the woman caught in adultery and brought

to Jesus by the Pharisees. They expected

him to punish her, and instead Jesus

offered her grace. And the Pharisees and

the crowd around them left the scene and

they left her alone. When he was by

himself with the woman, Jesus told her

that her sins were forgiven. No more

record of wrongs.

We tend to think about the first

Corinthian passage only in terms of

marriage because it's so often quoted at

weddings. And we are in fact going to

focus on love and connection at the

marriage retreat that's coming up here

on February 7th. I hope the married

couples among us can be part of what

promises to be a really great day. But

it's also important to remember that

first Corinthians love is much bigger

than just marriage. This is the kind of

love that Jesus repeatedly demonstrated

in his life and in his death to his

disciples and the people to whom he

ministered.

Real connection requires an

understanding of the love that Jesus

offered.

Real connection requires that we too are

willing to li to love in a first

Corinthians kind of way. I just told you

how Jesus emulated that kind of love. So

what does that look like for us? It

looks like calling a friend who was

going through a difficult time and

talking for hours, patiently listening

for as long as your friend needs to

begin to feel better. It looks like

reaching for your spouse's hand after

you've had a big argument, putting aside

pride for the sake of reconciliation.

It looks like serving people in need

quietly and consistently and not using

that to bolster a resume or boast about

on social media.

It looks like talking calmly with your

child about a mistake they made, seeking

to understand what happened and offering

forgiveness instead of getting angry and

starting a yelling match.

The question, "What would Jesus do?" has

been around for a long time, but it

soared in popularity back in the9s when

a youth pastor in Michigan took that

question, turned it into an acronym,

WWJD, and put it on bracelets as a

reminder for her youth to ask themselves

that question before they took action or

made decisions.

The WWJD bracelet fad may have died down

a little bit in the last few decades,

but the sentiment behind that question

has not. It's still just as important

when we are trying to build or rebuild

relationships. Asking ourselves, "What

would Jesus do for someone else?" and

then actually doing it can go a long way

towards building deep and lasting

connection.

A second thing that Jesus tells us about

relationships is that labels matter.

Labels can define a relationship between

two people before they even speak a word

to one another. Think about it. boss and

employee, teacher and student, director,

assistant director. In verse 15, Jesus

switched labels on the disciples when he

said to them, "I no longer call you

servants because a servant does not know

his master's business. Instead, I've

called you friends. For everything that

I learned from my father, I have made

known to you."

Over their time with Jesus, the 12

disciples have transformed from guys who

were fresh off of the boat, some of them

literally, and who could not figure out

what in the world Jesus was saying into

12 men who, for the most part, have

begun to really get it. And because they

have listened to and learned from Jesus

for the better part of 3 years, Jesus

tells them that they have progressed in

their relationship with him so much that

the labels need to change. When they

first came together as a group, it was a

master servant type of relationship. A

servant only follows orders. He doesn't

get to question the master's decision or

make any decision on his own. And that

was the disciples. They listened to

Jesus and they followed his every

instruction.

Now Jesus is calling them friends. That

kind of relationship is so much more

personal. Being in a friendship with

someone means you know about them. You

like them. You choose to spend time with

them. And the remarkable thing about

being in a friendship with Jesus is that

he's the savior of the world. The man

who came to die so that we can live

forever stood in front of those

disciples and said to them, "I now call

you friends."

Real connection requires us to go out

and connect.

I know that sounds odd. We have to

connect with people in order to create

connection. But hear me out. Jesus

didn't just wake up one day and find 12

guys standing at the foot of the mat he

slept on just waiting to learn from him

and become his friends. He went out and

he sought them. He invited them into

relationship. He invested in them for

three years before the titles changed

from master and servant to friend.

Sometimes I think we're in the

friendship recession that I referenced

at the beginning of the sermon because

we are too hesitant to reach out and

make that personal connection. It's much

easier to judge others from a distance

than to make the effort to get to know

them.

So, the challenge to creating real

relationships and building connection is

to actually leave our comfort zones, get

out from behind our screens, and go out

and connect with people. Learn a new

hobby or take up a new activity.

Join a Christ group, one of our small

groups here at church. Come to

Wednesdays at church here and fellowship

over dinner before learning together

with others in the context of a class.

Start serving somewhere in this church

or in the community.

Connection to others through service

helps us to start to see one another

more as equals and reminds us that we

are all children of God. A wise person

once said that it's hard to throw stones

when you are busy washing feet. It's

hard to throw stones, but it's easy to

talk and to share stories and to get to

know the person who you are serving if

you make the effort.

However you do it and wherever you do

it, summon up your courage and take the

first step to building connection with

another person.

A third thing Jesus says in today's

scripture about what it means to be in a

re real relationship is greater love has

no one than this to lay down one's life

for one's friends.

We just heard that Jesus's relationship

with his disciples changed from master

servant to friend. And although that

part happens after this call to lay down

one's life for one's friends in today's

scripture, it still informs how we

interpret this verse. Jesus told the

disciples that the greatest way that

they could show love is to lay down

their life for their friends. Now

remember again that Jesus said this

knowing that he was mere hours from

laying down his own life. He knew

exactly what he was asking the disciples

to do because he was about to do it

himself. He was about to be the ultimate

model of what this sacrificial love

looks like.

Real connection requires sacrifice.

Part of building connection with another

person is understanding that Jesus is

calling us to be ready to sacrifice for

others. And while that might actually

mean sacrificing our lives, the reality

is that most of us will never be in the

position where we have to physically

give up our lives for someone else. So

while it does mean being ready to do

that, sacrifice also applies to the way

we live our lives on a daily basis.

Are we willing to sacrifice our time to

help a friend who is going through a

difficult period in their lives,

providing meals, cleaning their house,

caring for their children?

Are we willing to sacrifice our

financial resources so that someone who

is in need will no longer have to go

without, but instead we'll have enough

enough food, enough clothing, enough

shelter?

Are we willing to be inconvenienced and

sacrifice our schedules to include

running errands not just for our own

needs, but for our friends, picking up

their groceries, accompanying them to

doctor's appointments, taxiing their

children?

Are we willing to sacrifice our

addiction to our phones so that we can

set aside the rest of the world

literally and really be present with

someone else?

In other words, are we willing to lay

down a selfserving life and live a life

of service instead?

We live in a world that is increasingly

isolated. Many of us have fooled

ourselves into thinking that isolation

is okay. That we don't need

relationships or connection with other

people to have a full life. But here's

the thing. God created us to be in

connection and in relationship with one

another. It is hardwired into us. Did

you know that our bodies produce

chemicals that are activated and make us

feel better and safer when we are in

relationships with others? Our

biological systems were built for human

companionship. It is proven that adults

with strong social connections have a

lower risk of health problems, including

depression and high blood pressure and

diabetes. Studies have found that older

adults who have close friends and

healthy social connections are likely to

live longer than do their peers who have

fewer friends.

And we can also look to God who didn't

stop with creating Adam but created Eve

as his partner because he knew Adam

would need someone else. He gave Aaron

as a support for Moses. He gave Jonathan

as a protector for David. Ruth as a

faithful companion for Naomi. It happens

again and again in scripture. And we

know that even Jesus needed connection

in the form of those 12 men who learned

about love and labels and sacrifice from

the son of God himself.

It's easy to think we can do life alone.

It's harder to take the steps to do it

together with other people. And so if

you're struggling with that, call me,

call Pastor Chris or Pastor Pat or

Pastor Sean, and we will help you find

people with whom you can connect and be

in relationship.

You were literally built to be in real

relationship with authentic connection.

So go out and pursue it. Don't give up.

that connection just might change your

life.

Let's pray.

God, we thank you so much for the ways

that you have created us to be in

connection and in relationship with one

another. And we thank you most of all

for the example of Jesus who talked to

us about love and talked to us about

what it meant to be in relationship and

then gave us the example who was the

model for all of this kind of

connection. We pray that we might have

the strength today and in the days to

come to live out that model, to seek

connection, to build relationship with

others, knowing it is what we are meant

to do, who we are meant to be, and

knowing that you will guide us and be

with us every step of the way. In Jesus

name we pray. Amen.