Christ Church Sermon Real Relationships Relationships that Reflect Jesus February 15 2026

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weekly worship at Christ Church in Bethl

Park, Pennsylvania. We're a United

Methodist congregation with the mission

of building inclusive community, sharing

Christ's transforming love. To learn

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person, visit christyouumc.net.

Thank you for listening.

Today's scripture reading is from the

New Testament. It actually comes from

two different books of the New

Testament. We'll be reading passages

from Philippians and from Colossians.

Both of those books are part of the the

grouping of books that the theologians

frequently call the prison epistles.

They were thought to be written by Paul

while likely imprisoned in Rome uh

between 60 and 62 AD or common era CE if

you so choose. In any event, we'll be

reading Philippians uh 2:es 1-1 and

Colossians 3:es 12-14.

Hear now these words from the New

Testament.

Therefore, if you have any encouragement

from being united with Christ, if any

comfort from his love, if any common

sharing in the spirit, if any tenderness

and compassion, then make my joy

complete by being like-minded, having

the same love, being one in spirit and

of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish

ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in

humility, value all others above

yourselves, not looking to your own

interests, but each of you to the

interests of the others. In your

relationships with one another, have the

same mindset as Christ Jesus, who being

in very nature God, did not consider

equality with God something to be used

to his own advantage. Rather, he made

himself nothing by taking the very

nature of a servant, being made in human

likeness. And being found in appearance

as a man, he humbled himself by becoming

obedient to death, even death on a

cross. Therefore, God exalted him to the

highest place and gave him the name that

is above every name. that at the name of

Jesus, every knee should bow in heaven

and on earth and under the earth, and

every tongue acknowledged that Jesus

Christ is Lord to the glory of God the

Father. Therefore, as God's chosen

people, holy and dearly loved, clothe

yourselves with compassion, kindness,

humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear

with each other and forgive one another.

If any of you has a grievance against

someone, forgive as the Lord forgave

you. And over all these virtues, put on

love which binds them all together in

perfect unity. Hear what the spirit is

saying to the church.

>> Thanks be to God.

>> So before I jump into this week's

sermon, I just want to say a big thank

you to our scouts that have helped us

pass out bulletins and greet all of you

if you've came in this morning as part

of Scout Sunday. So when you head out,

if you see them, make sure you thank

them for their willingness to serve and

help us uh in worship this morning.

Well, over the past several weeks, we

have been talking about real

relationships

from all walks of life from marriage to

parent child uh to friendships to work

relationships to relationships inside

the church. And we've learned that real

relationships are not always ideal.

They're not just the kind of

relationships that work when everyone is

calm and rested and and getting, you

know, their own way. Uh that they take

work. Real relationships take work. And

we've talked about some of those things

that happen inside real relationships

that people tend not to talk about.

Things like tension and misunderstanding

and disappointment and moments where

love feels more like a uh more costly

than it does convenient. And we've

talked about how we are built for

connection and we're looking for a love

that lasts. And we've learned how to

fight right. And on this Valentine's Day

weekend as we close our real

relationship series, we ask one final

question. Not just how do relationships

work, but what are they meant to

reflect? Because relationships are never

neutral. Relationships are always

forming us into something. And it and

the Christian vision of real

relationships is our relationships are

meant to reflect Christ. Not perfectly,

but visibly, not flawlessly, but

faithfully. Because if Christ is in us,

it changes how we relate to others.

Amen. I mean, that's what it's all

about. Paul opens Philippians 2 with a

series of statements that sound almost

conditional, but they're not actually

conditional. They're actually

assumptions that Paul has. Paul isn't

wondering if these things are true of

the church. Paul is assuming they are

true of the church. He says, "If you

have any encouragement from being united

with Christ, if any comfort from his

love, if any common sharing of the

spirit, if any tenderness or compassion,

this is Paul's way of saying if Christ

really lives in us, if the spirit of God

is actually shaping us, if the love of

God has truly reached our heart, then

something has got to look different in

the way we relate to other people." You

see Christian meant Christian love and

faith was never meant to be just a

private belief or an internal uh uh

comfort that we have. It was never meant

to be just about what we think in our

mind or feel in our heart from the very

beginning. Faith in Christ is meant to

be poured out in our tone, in our

posture, in our patience, in how we

treat one another, especially when

relationships get strained. Now, Paul's

logic is simple, but it's very piercing.

He says, "We can't claim to have a life

of Christ living in us and leave our

relationships unchanged." Paul continues

by saying, "Then make my joy complete by

being like-minded, having the same love,

being one in spirit, and of one mind."

Now, that line can sound pretty

intimidating if we misunderstand it.

Excuse

me. Sorry. Paul is not calling for

uniformity here. He's not demanding that

everyone thinks the same way, votes the

same way, views the same issue from the

same angle all the time. And he's

certainly not asking us as a church to

avoid conflict or to suppress any kind

of disagreement. What Paul is calling

for here is something actually deeper

than agreement. He's calling for

alignment. It's not about sness. It's

not about agreeing on every issue. It's

not about pretending that tension

doesn't exist. It is about a shared

direction. Paul is saying if Christ

truly lives in us, then even when we see

things differently, we keep moving

towards the center. And that center is

not comfort. It's not control. It is not

winning the argument. That center is

Christ. So to be like-minded doesn't

mean that we all think the same way. It

means that we let the mind of Christ

shape how we think about one another. It

means before we speak, before we react,

before we withdraw, before we defend

ourselves, we got to ask a deeper

question. What does faithfulness to

Christ look like in this situation? That

is why Paul put likeminded with having

the same love. Not the same opinion, not

the same preferences, but the same love.

Love that is patient when it would be

easier for us to be short. Love that

stays engaged when it would be simpler

for us to just pull away. Love that

listens before it labels. Love that

seeks understanding instead of leverage.

And then Paul says, "And being one in

spirit and of one mind." You see, that

doesn't erase differences. It actually

redeems the differences. We might not

always agree, but we are committed to

the same spirit, the same Lord, and the

same story that God is writing for every

single one of us. Which means there are

some lines that we just refuse to cross.

Like we won't weaponize our words. We

don't reduce people to positions.

We don't treat disagreement as betrayal

and we don't let frustration give us

permission to stop loving well. Because

if Christ is truly the center, the goal

is no longer being right. The goal is

being faithful. And faithfulness often

looks like staying at the table a lot

longer than we would want to. It looks

like listening instead of defending.

choosing humility where where pride

feels justified. You see, Paul is Paul's

inviting the church into a shared

commitment with each other. Even when

things get hard, even when we

misunderstand each other, even when our

emotions are high, Christ is still the

center. Not our comfort, not our ego,

not our need to win. Christ. And when

Christ is the center, relationships stop

being places where we need to prove

ourselves and they start being places

where Christ is being revealed. Because

if Christ is in us, it does not just

change what we believe. It changes how

we relate to others. We experience a

relational shift from self to others.

Listen to what Paul says. Do nothing out

of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

Rather, in humility, value others above

yourselves.

You know, that sentence confronts almost

everything our culture teaches us about

relationships. I mean, we are trained

often times without even realizing it to

protect ourselves, to keep score, to win

arguments, to make sure we're not giving

more than we're receiving. But Paul

doesn't deny our needs, but he refuses

to let our self-interest be the

organizing principle of our

relationships. He says, "Not looking to

your own interest, but each of you to

the interest of others." Now, this is

not about becoming a doormat. This is

not about letting people just walk all

over you and cause you harm. But it is

about becoming Christshaped.

Humility is not thinking less of

yourself. It is thinking of yourself

less. And when humility enters a

relationship, everything changes. How we

listen, how we speak, how we disagree,

even how we forgive. And the model we're

given to follow is Jesus. Because Paul

knows that that kind of love sounds

idealistic and oftentimes unrealistic,

especially when we are in relationships

that feel strained or trust has been

wounded. So he doesn't just give the

church a theory. He gives us a person to

actually look at. He says in your

relationships with one another, have the

same mindset as Christ Jesus. Now that

sentence is doing a whole lot of work.

Paul doesn't say try harder to be nice.

He doesn't say avoid conflict at all

cost. He doesn't even tell us that we

should love people in a in a more

general way. He says think the way Jesus

thinks when you're with each other. So

if we want to know what relationships

shaped by Christ actually look like. We

don't start with techniques or rules. We

start by looking at Jesus. And then Paul

pulls back the curtain of what Jesus

actually believes and stands for. He

says who being in very nature God did

not consider equality with God as

something to be used for his own

advantage. You see Jesus had power but

he didn't cling to it. He had authority

but he did not leverage it to protect

himself. He had status but he refused to

use it as a shield or a weapon. Jesus

never asked what can I get away with or

how do I maintain control here? Or how

do I make sure I come out on top?

Instead, Paul says, "Rather, he made

himself nothing, taking the very nature

of a servant." Now, that phrase does not

mean that Jesus became weak or

insignificant.

It means he chose downward mobility. He

willingly stepped out of privilege in

heaven and into proximity by coming here

to earth. He moved towards people rather

than standing above people. Jesus didn't

enter a relationship saying, "What am I

owed? What do I deserve for everything

I've done? Who needs to acknowledge my

authority? Instead, he said, "How can I

love? How can I serve?

How can I bring life to this

relationship?" And then Paul takes it

all the way to the cross. He says he

humbled himself by becoming obedient to

death, even death on a cross.

That is not symbolic humility. That is

costly obedience.

That is the kind of love that absorbs

pain instead of passing pain along. You

see, the cross is the clearest picture

of what love looks like when Jesus is at

the center. Not dominance, not control,

not emotional withdrawal, not quiet uh

resentment, but self-giving love,

choosing faithfulness even if it cost us

deeply. And remember, we never look at a

person who Jesus didn't die for. And

that is what it means to love like

Jesus. The question is, do we love like

that? Because if that is the mindset of

Christ,

then relationships shaped by Christ will

feel a lot more like surrender than they

feel like victory. They will involve us

letting go of the need to win, of us

requiring to lay down our right to be

understood first. They will ask us to

trust God when outcomes are beyond our

control. But the cross also reminds us

that surrendering Christ was never

wasted because the same Jesus that

humbled himself was also the one that

God raised up. Because a love that looks

like Jesus may feel costly right in the

moment, but it's the same love that God

used to bring resurrection and healing

and new life. And that is the model that

we are called to follow. So why is it so

difficult? Well, let's be honest. Even

though that love is beautiful, it's also

hard because our patience wears thin.

Our kindness runs out. Forgiveness feels

unfair. And humility feels risky. Which

is why Paul doesn't just give us a

vision. He gives us some daily practices

to follow. Practices that will help us

have a Christlike character. In Paul, in

Colossians 3, Paul shifts the language.

He says, "Therefore, as God's chosen

people, holy and dearly loved." You see,

that phrase is really important. And we

often read over that portion of that

passage. But that phrase is important

because it shows us before we receive

any instruction about what we are

supposed to do, God gives us an

identity. You see, we don't love Jesus

in order to earn God's love. We love

like Jesus because God already loves us.

And then Paul says, "Clothe yourselves

with compassion and kindness and

humility and gentleness and patience."

That word clothe means these are not

feelings we wait for. These are choices

that we make. How many of you would

agree that sometimes it's easy to show

compassion to somebody, right? How many

of you would also agree that sometimes

compassion feels like putting on a stiff

jacket that we don't want to put on, but

we put it on anyway because we know we

need to. Paul then says, "Bear with each

other and forgive one another if any of

you has a grievance against someone." To

bear with someone means staying present.

It means refusing to reduce that person

to their worst moment. Choosing

faithfulness over frustration.

And then the standard that we all strive

for. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Not because the other person deserves

it, but because we've already received

it. So that's what we should show

others. And then Paul says, "On top of

all of these virtues, put on love which

binds them all together in perfect

unity." You see, love's the glue. Love's

the coat over everything else. Because

without love, patience really just

becomes tolerance. Without love,

humility becomes indifference.

Without love, forgiveness becomes

avoidance.

But with love, relationships begin to

reflect Jesus. So, what does that look

like for us in real life? Because this

kind of love is not meant to just live

in theory. It shouldn't just only stay

in sermons or Bible studies or in our

thought process. It needs to show up in

our ordinary moments, in conversations

that catch us off guard, in

disagreements that hit a nerve, in

relationships where old patterns are

easy and new patterns we don't want to

do because it's often costly.

It looks like listening when everything

inside us wants to interrupt. Not

because we don't have a point, but

because the other person matters more

than us proving our point. It looks like

staying curious instead of defensive,

asking, "Help me understand why you're

thinking this way or what you're feeling

instead of immediately explaining while

why they are wrong and we are right." It

looks like telling the truth without

trying to wound. Speaking honestly

without using our words as weapons.

It looks like choosing repair over being

right. Letting go of the satisfaction of

winning the argument in order to protect

the relationship. Recognizing that being

right can still cost us something we

were never meant to lose. And it looks

like absorbing pain instead of passing

pain on. Interrupting that cycle where

hurt

creates more hurt. Deciding that the

pain stops with us, even if that feels

unfair.

And in all of those moments, it really

comes down to us asking ourselves one

quiet, spiritually led question in real

time as we're trying to navigate our

relationships.

How can I reflect Jesus here? Not how do

I protect myself, not how do I make them

understand, not how do I come out

looking good, but how do I remain

faithful in this moment? Because

following Jesus does not mean we avoid

tension. It means we face tension

differently. It means we show up slower

and softer and more intentional. We

choose humility when pride feels

justified. We choose grace when distance

feels easier.

And unfortunately, most of the time when

we do this, no one's going to applaud

it. There's not going to be some big

dramatic moment. And it's not usually

going to provide instant resolution. But

over time, that kind of love does

something pretty powerful. It builds

trust. It creates safety. And it keeps

relationships open where they could so

easily close. That is what it looks like

to not just believe in Christ, but to

live it out in our daily relationships.

You see, at Christ Church, our mission

is building inclusive community, sharing

Christ transforming love. That mission

does not rise and fall on our programs.

That mission does not rise and fall on

our branding. That mission does not rise

and fall on our schedule.

That mission rises and falls on our

relationships

because the clearest picture that most

people will ever have of who Jesus is is

how we as Christians treat one another,

especially when life gets hard. So, as

we close this series, here's the

challenge.

Who is God inviting us to see in a new

way? Not as a problem to fix, but as a

person to love. Where is the spirit

asking us to put on compassion and

kindness and patience and humility even

if it feels unnatural or unfair?

And what would it look like to release

control? Let go of the need to win and

trust God with the outcome. Because real

relationships that reflect Jesus,

they're not built by perfect people,

they're built by people that keep

choosing love again and again and again

and again. Let's pray. Lord, we're so

grateful that you love us

just because. Not because of what we do

or don't do. Not because of what we say

or don't say, not because we're perfect.

Not because we make mistakes, but

because

you choose to love us.

Help us to accept that love

because it will change our life. And

then help us to show that love in the

relationships that we are in and in the

relationships that you will continue to

give us an opportunity to start. Because

without that kind of love, our

relationships are doomed to fail. But

with that kind of love,

you can do things that we can't even

imagine. Thank you for loving us and

thank you for giving us what we need to

love others. We ask all this in your

son's name. And everyone said, "Amen."

>> Oh, Mark's really tall.