Self-Control

sharing good news of great joy to all people.

Elation Church. There was a Facebook post that

I posted a couple weeks ago, and it was about

a saying. It was a very concise saying that I

had come up with for my boys, specifically my

oldest, Riley, who happens to not be here today.

He's playing baseball, conveniently. And Riley's

14, but about five, six years ago, we lived in

Colorado. And Riley had grown up when he was

a younger child dealing with a lot of sensory

challenges that he faced in his life. And this

started, I mean, when he was like two, three

years old, especially when he was four, five,

and six to the point where my wife, and you can

clarify all these details with her. She'll probably

tell you I told it wrong and, you know, lambast

me later and that's okay. But she, to the point

where she didn't know if she was a good mother.

because she was fighting with all of the stuff

that was going on with him not knowing how to

interact with people and exploding and blowing

up and having all of these emotional really breakdowns

because he didn't know how to regulate his system.

And so we spent years going through occupational

therapy and going through once, twice a week,

which really has brought him into the young man

that he is today. And God has done a huge work

through all of that. But it started with everybody's

favorite subject in school How many of you guys

love math who loves math your favorite favorite

subject in the whole wide world? So when Riley

was about seven years old he started math and

so seven would have put him in what second grade

I guess something like that and Riley would sit

at the dinner table for an hour to two hours

to get like five problems done. I mean, it was

like he hated it. And I would be sitting there

with him and we'd go through it and we'd be like,

okay, so, you know, seven plus four is, and he'd

just sit there and didn't want to do it. And

so finally, I started telling him, I said, all

right, well, because he would start to say, I'm

not good at this. I can't do it. I'm not good

at this. I can't do it. Repeat like over and

over, you know, the self -fulfilling prophecy.

How many of you guys ever told yourself something

that, you know what, I can't do this. And sure

enough, You can't, you don't do it because you

have literally talked yourself out of capability

and capacity. And so I started telling him, I

want you to repeat after me. I am good at math.

And the amount of hatred that I got from my son

for this, no, I am not doing it. Burying his

face in a pillow, like, you know, like hiding

under the table. You know, there might be some

exaggeration here, but that's what it felt like

to me. So he'd be sitting there and, For about

a year or so, we'd go through this. I'm good

at math. I'm good at math. I'm good at math.

Repeat it. We'd do it 10, 20, 30, 40 times. And

we got through it. And as he grew through that,

you know, as he was getting older, we began to

see these explosions of emotion when he didn't

know what to do with his body. He didn't know

what to do. So he would go, he'd run up into

his room and throw himself on his bed. And sometimes

to the point where, like, I had to physically

restrain him from, like, going. going off in

wild, throwing tantrums, things like that. And

one day, and I don't remember exactly where it

happened, but we were in his room upstairs. It

was probably about six years ago. He was nine

years old, maybe eight, nine years old. And I

was holding him in his room and he was trying

to throw a tantrum and throw a fit and so on.

And it just, it dawned on me one day. I said,

Riley, do you understand that you are the only

one that has control over what you do? And that

you are the only one that controls how you act,

how you respond, and how you think. And so I

was just instantly came on and I said, Riley,

I want you to say this after me. I want you to

say, I control my body. I control my mind. I

control my actions. And that covers all three

parts of our lives, everything that we do. Because

it's what we do, it's what we say, and it's how

we act. And so... Over the last five years, any

time that my boys have begun to act out, be upset,

get frustrated, they'll go into their room and

they'll throw themselves on the bed and they'll

be angry and they'll be upset. And I will come

in and I will remind them, say it after me, I

control my body, I control my mind, I control

my actions. And I think that over time it has

begun to show. them that they actually have the

capacity to create change and make change in

their lives and lately what i've been telling

them is you know where you are in your life right

now is a result of every single choice that you

have made up until this exact moment and the

only way you are going to get a different result

after this is by making a different choice or

a series of different choices that come from

control and that is only through controlling

your body controlling your mind, and then controlling

your actions. Because when you start with your

mind, I control my mind, which then means I control

my body, which then means that each action that

I take after that is a direct result of controlling

my mind. And so as they've grown up, as Ethan

and Riley have both grown up, and Addison will

get it soon, she's not old enough to understand

this yet, but continuing to remind them on a

daily basis. I control my actions. I control

my body. I control my mind. And it's something

that they have taken to heart. They don't always

like it. They don't always like the fact that

I remind them of this. Ethan was over there hiding

his face a minute ago because he doesn't like

that I remind him of these things. But, you know,

we create resiliency in our own lives through...

taking direct control of our bodies and who we

are. And we may not like the situation we're

in. This has nothing to do with the situation

we find ourselves in other than knowing that

every decision I made up until that moment landed

me in that exact spot where I am right there.

The only way to progress past that is by making

a different choice, controlling your body, controlling

your mind, controlling your actions. And I could

go on for another hour, but Dean probably has

more to say. So he's got to preach. But that's

where it came from. That's where my boys, that's

where I continually work to train them every

day. I mean, you see my shirt today, 1 % better

every day. This comes from a book called Atomic

Habits. If you've never read it, I highly recommend

it. But if you make tiny incremental changes

each day, everyone thinks the movies show you

that it has to be some big revelation, revelatory.

Idea change something that suddenly will make

your life different and then that'll be amazing

and it's like you won the lottery But in reality

the way that our lives change when we control

our body our mind and our actions the little

changes the little Things that you do each day

creating consistency and discipline self -control

Will get you to where you want to go regardless

of your age your status or what you've done in

your life previously All right give Jordan a

hand Now, we can look at this in a couple of

ways. We can look at this as self -help. Everybody

say self -help. Or we can look at it as a spiritual

principle. Try to put both words together. You

know the Bible speaks about self -control. It

tells us how important self -control is. Now,

other than just like a one -off message, I've...

I've never even heard someone preach about self

-control unless they were going through the fruit

of the Spirit, like I've done before, and you

preach every Sunday about a different fruit of

the Spirit. That's all I've ever heard from a

pulpit or from the Bible on self -control. It's

all that's ever come to me, but I want to give

some text to you. Now, we read this text a lot,

right? 2 Peter 1, 3 through 8. Says this, by

his divine power, God has given us everything

we need for living a godly life. Somebody say

thank you. Here's the deal. God's already given

you everything you need for living a godly life.

We have received all of this by coming to know

him. It's part of the relationship. We've received

all of this by coming to know him, the one who

called us to himself by means of his marvelous

glory and excellence. And because of his glory

and excellence, he has given us great and precious

promises. Thousands of promises in God's word.

That God has made to you and to me. Now, until

we find out what those promises are, we're not

going to be able to receive them. Because all

of the promises of God are received by faith.

Listen, they're grace gifts. We don't earn them

or deserve them. So they're available. But the

only way we ever receive anything from God is

by faith. We got to hear it. We got to wholeheartedly

believe it. I'm going to throw this out there.

We got to put our words in agreement with it.

Like Jordan was sharing, I'm terrible at math.

I hate math. I can't do math. Well, guess what?

You're not going to be able to do math. Now,

we did a whole series on words in November and

December. I'm not going to do that again. But

the Bible says the power of life and death is

in your tongue. The Bible says some of the problems

that you face are a result of the words that

you have built. If you need those verses, I'll

find them and give them to you after we get done

if you don't believe me. But God has given us

great and precious promises. These are the promises

that enable you to share his divine nature and

escape the world's corruption caused by human

desires. How many of you need some escape every

once in a while? God's promises. Is that what

it says? Is that what the Bible says? Hello?

It's what the Bible says. Sometimes we have to

make a choice to believe what the Bible says.

instead of what sometimes our old religious mindset

says. All right. I'm preaching good. You're not

amening as good. In view of all this, in view

of God's glory and excellence and his promises,

in view of all this, Make every effort to respond

to God's promises. Supplement your faith with

a generous provision of moral excellence. And

moral excellence with knowledge. I mean, I could

preach on every single one of these, but we're

getting to this next one. And knowledge with

self -control. Everybody say self -control. So

in light of God's glory and his marvelous things

that he's doing and all the promises that he's

given us, we need to add to our faith some self

-control. With patient endurance and patient

endurance with godliness and godliness with brotherly

affection and brotherly affection with love for

everyone. Listen. The more you grow like this,

and we're focusing in on one of many, but everybody

say self -control. So the more you grow in self

-control, listen, the more productive and useful

you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus

Christ. So how many of you see that it's going

to take some self -control for us to be useful

in the kingdom of God? Because without some self

-control, you might know a lot, but you won't

be respected a lot. Come on, somebody. Don't

shout me down while I'm preaching. Good. Supplement

your faith with a generous portion of self -control

to be more productive and useful in the kingdom

of God. Now, what's that word self -control mean?

Here's the Greek word. I always butcher it even

though I put it up phonetically how to say it.

Enkrateia. Enkrateia. Is that close? It's a compound

word. It's two Greek words put together. In the

sphere of. Enkratos, which is dominion mastery.

So that word is properly translated self -control.

Self -control is dominion within. It means we're

going to control as you do word studies. I mean,

look it up on Interlinear. Look that verse up.

Look this word up. You can Google it, and you

can look in, what is it, the Bible Hub is what

we look at. There's word studies and all that

kind of stuff. Look up this word, and a lot of

what I'm about to tell you came from that word

study. You can look it up. But we have self -control

over our thoughts. We have self -control over

our feelings. We have self -control over our

actions. We can add some more things, but this

was in that word study that I got. So, I'm going

to say this again later, but we can't control

everything. Some of us would like to control

other people and control all the circumstances.

But really, all we control, all we can control

is our sphere, us, right? We can control ourselves.

How many of you would agree with me, you might

could have a little bit more self -control than

you have in some areas of your life? Wow, we're

going up. There's like eight people raised their

hand there. Here's some more. 1 Corinthians 9,

24. Don't you realize that in a race, everyone

runs? But only one person gets the prize. So

run to win. Look at the person beside you and

say, run to win. If you're running, you need

to run to win. And then in verse 25, it says,

all athletes are disciplined. Well, guess what?

Same word. Everybody say, same word. Same word.

All athletes exercise self -control. Everybody

say self -control. In their training. They do

it to win, to win a prize. And earthly prizes,

you know, I've won some trophies and I have no

idea where they are. I've got a football trophy.

I've got a medal for doing a 5K. I've got a letter

jacket with three different, I've lettered in

three different sports. I have no idea where

that letter jacket is. I thought about it the

other day. Where's that thing at? I mean, I put

in a lot of discipline and self -control to letter

and, let's see, football, tennis, and track.

I put in a lot. Don't even know where it is.

I think my football trophy broke. So it's in

a landfill somewhere, most likely. They do it

to win a prize. All this self -control, do it

to win a prize that will fade away. How many

trophies are in landfills? Has anybody ever watched

American Pickers? I mean, after your life is

over, the trophies stay in here. Even if you

still have it, it'll stay in here. Somebody will

buy it for $5. But that's not what our self -control

is about. Our self -control, we do it for an

eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every

step. I'm not just shadow boxing. I discipline

my body like an athlete, training it to do what

it should. It's talking about spiritual things.

It's talking about self -control and spiritual

things. It's giving us... this athlete as a earthly

picture, but God is telling us something spiritual.

We need self -control. Self -control is essential.

If you want to live with purpose and if you want

to live in victory, self -control is essential.

I need amen or something on that. Because that's

just putting the verses in direct talk with what

we're, right? They were talking about winning

and a prize. And here's the one that I've heard

sermons on before, Galatians 5 .22. But the Holy

Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,

faithfulness. gentleness, and there's one more,

self -control. Everybody say self -control. So

how many of you think self -control might be

a little more important than you thought it was

before today? When you look at these verses,

this is a spiritual thing, not just an earthly

thing, even though it works. But guess what?

It can work a lot better. Because the fruit of

the Spirit, fruit of the Holy Spirit is self

-control. Self -control. Now what does that tell

us? Those first two things it's saying to add

to your faith, self -control. If you want to

live in victory and live with purpose, you're

going to have to have some self -control. But

what does this verse tell us? It tells us we're

not alone. See, as far as self -help and motivation

goes, we're just on our own, right? But for spiritual

self -control, we've got a helper. Who needs

a helper? Who has looked at your life and said,

boy, I need more self -control? Well, the Holy

Spirit can help you. It isn't that he just can.

He wants to. He wants to help you with this self

-control over spiritual things and over your

life. I mean, Gannon and I went to eat and I

just kept on eating. And I was miserable. I just

kept eating. And I'm like, why did I eat so much?

See, I want to blame my mama. Because my mama

said, you have to clean your plate. So I'm good

at cleaning my plate. But if you go to Florida

Homecoming Kitchen down at Disney Springs and

you order a plate, it might be enough to feed

a family of four. But that's the plate in front

of me. There wasn't a drop left on it. Because

that's the way I was trained. Clean your plate.

We don't throw away food in our house because

there's starving children in Africa. And we're

not going to be throwing away any food. Hello?

But as I was miserably trying to breathe going

to bed on Thursday night or Friday night, Thursday

night, I'm laying there. I'll tell you what,

I'm going to... And see, it's not just going

to happen. Look at me. If we ask the Holy Spirit

to help us, it's not going to happen. See, it's

not going to happen if we just say, you know,

Holy Spirit, here it is on Sunday morning. I

need you to help me not to eat, not to clean

my plate. If it's more than I need to eat, or

if it's something that I don't need to eat. And

then yesterday, you know, Robert said, do you

want sweet tea today? And I'm like, see, I've

had a lot of self -control. But I gave in yesterday.

And I didn't just drink one glass of sweet tea.

I drank like three or four glasses of sweet tea.

And I think he makes it like my mama. I think

he puts two full cups of sugar in one gallon

of sweet tea. How many of you know that's probably

not good for you? See, I need some self -control,

but I can't just say today, all right, Holy Spirit,

I want you to help me make... Better decisions

when I'm sitting at the restaurant, you know,

help me make better decisions. I can't just ask

him to do it today and then not even acknowledge

him when I go to the restaurant. It's not a one

and done prayer. Hello? I can't say, I have no

self -control, so I need you to control me. Take

self -control. But the good news is, not just

a one -time prayer asking Him to help you, but,

and that's just one thing. I don't mean to get

on you about eating because I'm the worst. That's

a bad confession, isn't it? I'm the best. I make

the best choices. But God will help us in every

area. These are some things from the word study.

When I read it, I was just like, wow. I've got

to write that down and say it. I've got to copy

and paste that. Here's the kind of self -control

that God wants us to have because he wants to

empower us. So it's self -control proceeding

out from within oneself. It's self -control being

displayed in me. but not by oneself. It's not

that I have to have enough mental fortitude and

willpower to control myself because I have a

helper to control my thoughts, my words, my actions.

I've got a helper. True mastery from within can

really only be accomplished by the power of the

Lord. For it to be the level that it needs to

be, we've got to have some power and some strength

from God. Here's another one. Self -control is

not just about abstaining from excess, but involves

a positive mastery and direction of one's energies

and desires towards godly purposes. Because we

can look at self -control and it can all be negative

because I overate and I drank too much sweet

tea. And that's kind of negative, right? But

it works in a positive way too. Self -control

does. Not just not doing the wrong thing, but

doing the right thing. That's good preaching

right there. Anyway, listen, like I said, we

can't control. everything or everyone around

us, but we can control ourselves. Now let me

help you. You're going to have thoughts that

pop in your mind that are negative, tearing down.

Those thoughts are going to pop into your mind.

Every single one of us have those thoughts. So

don't sit here and think, well, Dean said I've

got to... have self -control over my thoughts,

so I should never have a bad thought. And if

I have a bad thought, then I'm defeated. That's

not what I'm saying. When I'm saying you can

have self -control over your thoughts, I'm saying

that you have self -control. You can have self

-control over what you dwell on, over what you

continue to think on. Hello? Because when we

have a thought of fear, I mean, it just applies

to everything, though. I hate to just do one

thing. But when we have this negative thought

that comes into our minds, we've got to take

that thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

We don't have to dwell on it. When that what

if thought comes, how many of you have some what

if thoughts every once in a while? You know,

you're driving here and you see a wreck and you're

like, all of a sudden, what if you have it? What

if you get rear -ended on I -4? Does anybody

have some what -if thoughts? You never have what

-if thoughts? What if? And then we wind up, you

know, being overcome and overwhelmed with worry

and fear over something that has never even happened.

Hello? When that what if thought comes, you go,

hey, nope, taking that one captive, that's just

going to lead me to worry, and it's going to

lead me to fear, and that's not what I'm going

to think about. I'm going to think about how

good God is. I'm going to think about how much

God loves me. I'm going to think about the people

that do love me. I'm going to set my mind on

things that my mind needs to be set on. Things

that are of good report and lovely and pure.

Those things that God tells us to set our minds

on. So we can't control everything or everyone

around us, but we can control what we set our

mind on. We can control to stop feelings from

running away. We can control that. And we're

really going to control that by controlling our

thoughts. Because our thoughts are what? Our

thoughts are the engine for our feelings. We

can control our actions. We can control our reactions.

How many of you would say, I might need some

self -control on my reactions? Because I don't

always react. Sometimes I react. A little too

much. Here's what we need to know. Self -control

is a vital part of the spirit -filled life. Self

-control spiritually will take us to where our

actions and our thoughts can be aligned with

God's will and God's word. I've got to bust some

song theology. How many of you know we get a

lot of theology from songs? How many of you know

that some people hold to the theology of a song

more than they hold to the Word of God? I've

had people come up and try to correct me something

that I read out of the Bible because it didn't

agree with some song that they thought that was

good theology. Now, you might have never done

that. But I've had people try to correct the

Bible with a song. That's so funny. We sing about

giving God control. I'm not picking on the artists

right now, but there's a big song on the radio.

I give you control. Whoa. I give you control.

And I know you've heard the classic. Jesus, take

the wheel. Take it from my hands. And we think

because the song's on Christian radio, it's got

to be good theology. I actually do that. When

I hear a song on the radio and I'm like, that's

terrible theology, I just hit the button and

cut the radio off. Until another song comes on.

Because I don't want to feed all that in my spirit.

And you might be saying, well, what's wrong with

giving God control? Who has a Tesla? There's

a thing in a Tesla. It don't work? You might

have a contradicting. statement over here because

my friend drove all the way from Philadelphia

and didn't even touch the steering wheel, I think.

Tesla autopilot. Here's what it's called, advanced

driver assistance system. And they have a full

self -driving mode, but you got to be supervised.

So here's your video. Watch the dude's hands

on his legs. Can you see it? Is it coming up

on me? See, his hands are on his legs, and the

car's just navigating. He told the car where

he wanted it to go. It's changing lanes. It's

turning left. His hands are on his legs, waiting

on traffic, turning left in front of traffic.

Look, it's construction. Tight gaps in the neighborhood.

Curvy roads. Wow. I think they sped up the video.

I don't think it's going that fast. Merges in

traffic. Forks in the road. Hey, chose to go

left and stuff. Roundabouts. Stop signs. Hands

on his legs the whole time. Car pulled out and

did a U -turn right in front of him. It braked

itself. Didn't run over that kid running in front

of him. Then it's going to park right back where

he left. Hands stayed on his legs the whole time.

Now, look to the person beside you and say, God's

not a Tesla. Here's the deal. Even before Tesla

was invented, even before this automatic driving

fool thing, even before all that, I've got to

be honest with you. I've prayed. Multiple times.

Wanting God to take control. Because, here's

why. Because I didn't have the self -control

to take care of it myself. And I wanted God to

do it. Here's the deal. God doesn't ever say

that He's going to take the wheel or be in control,

meticulous control of your life, of your thoughts,

of your decisions. Find it in the Bible and let

me know, because I've been looking. It doesn't

say that, but we want God. You know why? Because

we don't want any responsibility. We don't want

to do the hard things. We want God to take control.

We want God to control us. We want to give up

control with Him. See, it sounds very spiritual

in those songs, but as far as I can find, it's

not biblical. I mean, we just read those verses,

right? Now, two weeks ago, I preached on Jesus

being Lord, and we looked at Hebrew and Greek

words. How many words was it? Three or four different

words that are translated Lord in your Bible.

And we talked about, you know, Jesus is going

to be Lord over whatever we allow him to be Lord

over. Now, some people get mad and they say,

well, Jesus is Lord whether you allow him to

be Lord or not. Well, he is Lord, but he's not

your Lord until you allow him to be your Lord.

What does Lord mean? Lord doesn't mean that he's

in meticulous control of my life. I can make

a bad decision to do something bad even before

I leave this room. He's not going to control

me and stop me from doing that. But for him to

be Lord means that he is our respected authority.

And those words were that he's our ruler, he's

our owner, he's our master. It doesn't mean that

he's our controller. Now, you might say, but

I thought, yeah, I've read this verse in a sermon

before. Some English versions use the word control

to communicate the idea of being in or being

submitted to. But just because the English version

has control in the word doesn't necessarily mean

the same word that we looked at. self -mastery,

self -control in the sphere that we have control

of, which is ourselves. So, I'm going to give

you an instance. Romans 8, 9. But you are not

controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled

by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living

in you. That's not the same word, controlled.

Right? New King James is a better translation

here, looking at the Greek words. But you're

not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if indeed

the Spirit of God dwells in you. So when we're

born again, we're in the Spirit, we're in Christ.

But that doesn't mean that we're controlled.

Are you with me? Some of you are looking at me

a little funny. Jesus doesn't take the will.

Here's what God does. He empowers you to take

the will while He guides you. See? We got to

live spirit -led lives. He's going to tell us

when to turn. He's going to tell us when to hit

the brakes. He's going to tell us when to hit

the gas. And I'm not just talking about cars.

I'm talking about life. He wants to guide us.

But we have to take the wheel. And he's going

to empower us to have that self -control. God

wants to take you somewhere. That he's not going

to control you. I'm going to say that again.

God wants to take you somewhere. He wants to

take you somewhere. But he's not going to control

you. We have to submit. And that's part of self

-control too. Submitting our will, our desires,

our... Our wants, submitting to the Lord, submitting

to the Holy Spirit, being led by the Spirit.

So many times we just go through life all in

our head with no spirit connection. So many times

we only think spiritual when we come to church

on Sunday morning, and then everything else is

just me. I mean, I lived a lot of years like

that. I'm submitted on Sunday, but everything

else is just me. And I'll go visit God again

next week. I don't know if I've hammered this

enough, but here it is. I'm hammering it again.

We pray and desire for God to control us. That

He tells us that He will empower us to control

ourselves. He empowers, He guides, He directs,

but we control. That's why self -control is so

important. Here's just a few areas. God desires

to renew your mind. Hello? That's a good thing,

right? We need our minds renewed. God desires

to renew your mind through His Word, but not

to control your mind. God desires to inspire

your words. But He's not going to control your

words. How many of you heard yourself say something

this week and you say, well, God definitely won't

control the net. Especially driving in this traffic

around here. You might need to say, bless your

heart a whole lot more when you're driving in

traffic. Bless your heart. God desires to direct

your actions, not control them. Here we go. This

is the wrap. From the scripture that we looked

at, this is the wrap. This very short version

of this will be before our stories and our applications

in the coming weeks. I think we have at least,

what, at least four more messages. Might be more

than that. God instructs us to supplement our

faith with a generous provision of self -control

so that we can be more productive and useful.

God tells us that self -control is essential

for us to live with purpose and live in victory.

God desires to empower us to have self -control.

So our actions, thoughts, and desires. can align

with his will. Self -control is important. How

many of you want to live a victorious life? Right?

It's going to take some self -control. And you

know that. See, this is common sense knowledge,

what we're talking about. When we really look

at our lives, we know that so much of it comes

down to self -control. Maybe you didn't realize

that you had to help her. To help you with that

self -control. God wants to be a part of that.

We have to submit to him. Let's pray together.

God, thank you for today. Thank you for your

goodness. Thank you for your word. God, I pray

that your word would be planted into good soil

in our hearts. So that it will spring up and

grow and produce a harvest of self -control.

in our lives. Thank you for working in us. Thank

you for working through us. In Jesus' name, amen.

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