Rick Warren - Making the Hard Changes in Me — Part Three

Today on Daily Hope with Pastor Rick Warren, we continue in our riveting journey

through the series The Invisible War. In it will explore the unseen world of

good and evil and see how it impacts our day to day existence. Join

us for eye opening biblical insights into the spiritual dimensions that influence our lives in

ways we never imagined. Right now, here's Pastor Rick Warren with the final

part of a message called making the Hard Changes in Me. Now, God

wants you to learn to think like Jesus. How do you do that?

Well, again, it's a choice. You've got to make a choice and

say, Lord, how would Jesus think about this? And the more you

fail your mind with the word of God, the easier that's going to be.

I want you to hear how God is helping her think in new ways

and be free from defects in our life. Would you give Victoria a warm

welcome. Hi. My name is Victoria, and I'd like to share my

story about how Jesus's helping me make changes in my life that I never thought

would be possible by learning new ways of thinking. As a child, I

grew up here in Saddleback Valley, then Right before I started kindergarten, my

family and I left Mission Viejo and headed up north to a town called Camerio.

I had heard all the Bible stories growing up, but I didn't really

have a close relationship with God. Mostly I just enjoyed seeing my friends at

Sunday on Sunday since a lot of my classmates went to church. Then in

nineteen ninety eight, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. That shocked me

into realizing that life was not going to be easy. It was an extremely

hard time for my family, but since I was so young, I wasn't

able to comprehend everything that was happening. Now, looking back, I don't

know how my parents would have gotten through that time without the support of our

physical family and church family, and of course trusting in God. Then the

next year, my sister was diagnosed with diabetes. Still being so young,

I didn't understand why my sister had to poke herself with needles multiple times a

day. But with par and support, her diabetes became more manageable and not

the death sentence I thought it was going to be. Then, when I

was ten years old, I publicly committed my life to Jesus by being baptized

and started living my life for Christ well as best as I knew how at

the time. Of course, there were the normal hurts of growing up.

During elementary school, the girls I hung out with were really mean to me.

They'd run away from me at recess and pretended to be allergic to me

when I came to sit with them at lunch. It just got worse and

followed me to middle school. I began to develop ways to try and protect

myself, but the pains still hurt. In eighth grade, I got my

first boyfriend. I was so excited because he was smart and play guitar.

I mean, what more could a junior high girl want. I realized now

looking back that our relationship was defective and pretty dysfunctional. It wasn't that he

was a bad guy, it was just that we didn't know how to relate,

and since our relationships with God were not strong, we didn't know how

to put him first in our dating. When we were together, I felt

loved and wanted, but as soon as we were apart, I felt lonely

and unloved again. There was a big hole in my heart. So I

lived for the approval of my friends and because I didn't understand how much loved

and accepted me. I looked for it in others. When that boyfriend and

I inevitably broke up, I was devastated, just as I started to really

be myself. It really set me back. I decided to withdraw into a

more protective shell. From that moment on, I never wanted to show who

I truly was. I got good at faking it by not being honest with

myself, with God and with others. My relationship with God became lukewarm at

best, and I drifted further away. I started to feel avoid in my

life, which I thought I could fill with more relationships to guys who could

give me attention. The ironic thing is that living in that shallow way just

made me feel even emptier. I finally settled down with one boyfriend, and

we were together for a year, but that year was the darkest year of

my life. In the middle of my darkness, my dad, who had

been unemployed for a year, got a job down here in Orange County.

The thought of moving again from all the connections scared me to death. I

was so mad at God for taking away my home from me. I lived

with my grandparents to finish school. My relationships with my friends became strained,

and my relationship with my boyfriend became more unhealthy and displeasing to God. To

say everything was defective is no exaggeration. Finally, I made the right decision

to do the right thing, and I broke off the harmful relationship. Five

months ago, I started attending Crave here at Saddleback Church. Crave is Saddleback's

outreach to young adult in their twenties. From that first night of attending Crave,

God has been renewing my mind and helping me see my life from his

perspective. He's helped me to become more honest about the areas of my life

I need to work on, and He's giving me the strength to make changes

I never thought would be possible. I am a completely new person and a

far better one because of the truth I've been learning at Saddleback Church. I've

learned new ways of thinking through Crave and especially with the support of my small

My small group. My small group is amazing. I have never felt more

loved when I'm with those girls. We took a trip to Utah this past

February that was life changing. On Sunday, February twentieth was the best night

of my life. During worship, God broke into my heart in a deeper

level and healed my heart. I could honestly feel his arms holding me tight,

telling me that everything was okay. At that moment, I fully recommitted

my life to Jesus Christ and the Thought Call. On Thursday, I was

baptized, knowing that I really understood and meant my commitment. I was tired

of living the Christian life without having the relationship I needed with God. I

now know that God moved my family back to Orange County, and I know

it was because He loves me. As I keep learning new things about God,

he keeps changing my perspective on things. I've learned the simple truth that

I need other believers in my life to become all God wants me to be.

Jeremiah twenty nine to eleven through thirteen, which it's become my life verse.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord plans

to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope

in a future. Then you will call on me and pray to me,

and I will listen to you. You will seek and find me when you

seek me with all your heart. God has a plan, and he's always

had one. It's now up to me to fall after them and continue seeking

after God. Thank you and God bless you. All right, quickly write

these other three down. The fourth change that is required is that change requires

the Holy Spirit. You need more power than just willpower in your life.

You need God's power in your life. Again, we talked about this in

detail last week. You might get that message in Romans, chapter eight,

verse twenty fourth says this, you must put on your new nature, and

you can't do that with willpower. You must put on your new nature because

you are a new person created in God's likeness, righteous, holy, and

true. Now what's he talking about here is what the Bible calls the fruit

of the Spirit. These are the qualities that God puts in your life when

the Holy Spirit lives through you. And the Bible says there are nine of

those qualities. There love and joy, and peace, and gentleness and patience

and kindness and goodness and meekness and self control and faithfulness. There are nine

of these qualities. And how does God produce the fruit in your life?

Not by willpower. You don't go out and say I'm gonna be a more

patient person. Doesn't work. I'm gonna be a more joyful person doesn't work.

I'm gonna be a more loving person. Willpower does not work. Fruit

is an inside job. The Holy Spirit has to grow it on the inside.

You trying to say I'm gonna be more patient, I'm gonna be more

loving. It's like saying I think I'm gonna go out and tie a bunch

of apples out in my tree outside, and you got these apples tied on.

I'm gonna go out and take my you know, the eucalyptus tree in

the front, and we're gonna tie some oranges on it and call it an

orange tree. It doesn't work that way. Fruit can only come from the

inside. It's got to be His spirit through you. Now, how does

the Holy Spirit work in your life? The answer is gradually a little bit

of the time. Look at this next verse. As the Spirit of the

Lord works within us, we become more and more like him, circle more

and more. That means it's a gradual process. It's step by step.

It's not instant. It's incremental. Now, when God wants to make a

mushroom, he takes six hours. When God wants to make an oak tree,

he takes sixty years. The question is do you want your life to

be a mushroom or an oak tree? As your pastor who loves you,

I can help you get from here to here. I can help you grow

to be the person you want to be. But I cannot show you how

to do it overnight. There is no such thing as instant maturity. It

takes time. It is a small, step by step, gradual, incremental,

more and more process. You see, you didn't collect your hurtz,

habits and hang ups overnight. It took you a long time to get as

messed up as you are. I mean, it just didn't happen overnight.

Sometimes I'm out on the patio and somebody come and says, Pastor Ricka,

I need you to solve my marriage problem. I said, well, how

long have you been married? Fifteen years? How long have you had this

problem ten years? And you want a five second answer, it ain't gonna

happen. You got to peel that onion, that baby, one layer at

a time. The Holy Spirit works within us become gradually more and more like

him. You've got to develop new habits to change. And that's what your

character is, the sum total of your habits. And we call these habits

the spiritual disciplines. These spiritual disciplines, they're the building blocks of defeating the

defects in your life. Number five, This is a bid one. Change

requires honest community. In other words, you're gonna have to have some people

in your life who tell you the truth and you listen to it. You're

not gonna get well on your own. You're gonna need other people in your

life. You're gonna need support, You're gonna need a small group. Change

requires honest community. There are some things in your life you're never ever going

to be able to change on your own. Now, Typically, the things

that are most difficult in your life you don't want anybody else to know about.

They are the things you want to hide in the closet. They are

the things you don't want to tell. They're the things you're most embarrassed about.

They're the most deep seated problems and fears in your life. And you

know what, You're never getting over them until you share it with one other

person. Now, you don't have to tell everybody. You don't have to

tell the whole world. You just need to find one person. That's why

we have small groups who will trust you. You trust them. They're confidential,

they're gonna love you unconditionally, they're not gonna judge you. They're gonna

support you. They're gonna pray for you, and you're gonna pray for them.

But revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. You got to have

one person, gut level. Honest. You don't have to have a lot

of people, but you need to have at least one. Some things are

so big in your life you have to team tackle them to take them down.

You gotta have two linemen tackling that guy to pull him down. Because

one guy isn't enough. You're gonna need some small, small groups. You're

gonna need support. But it's not just a small group where you get together

go hey, how's it going. Well, that's going great, and everybody

lives a superficial level. You've got to get to that level of maturity where

you're saying, you know what, I had a tough week this week,

and here's what happened. No, we're not talking about therapy groups. We

don't have therapy groups in this church. We're not trying to psychologize each other

out. What we have is people who love each other. And when times

are tough, I need to tell you what's tough in my life. And

when you're having a tough time, you need to have somebody to talk to

you. Gut level authenticity. This is verse twenty five. It says,

put away all falsehood. That means all the fake in it, all the

phoniness, all the pretending like you got it all together, put away all

falsehood, and tell your neighbor the truth about you, because we belong to

each other. Circle the word belong If you're a believer, you're also a

belonger. You belong in the family of God, and every other believer belongs

to you. They're your brother, they're your sister, and we belong to

each other. You cannot become until you belong. You can't become what God

wants you to be until you belong in a group that's going to have gut

level honest community. Put away falsehood, Talk to your neighbor, tell your

friend the truth, because we belong to each other. And let me just

say it this way, listen closely. If you are serious about changing the

deepest hang ups in your heart, the deepest defects in your life. You're

going to have to face the fear of being honest. You've got to stop

faking it. You got to put away falsehood. You gotta be real.

Now. You can go through life with one or two choices, pretending you've

got it all together or getting it all together. But you'll never get it

all together. As long as you pretend you've got it all together, and

you're never going to get well, get healed, get rid of that area

that's bugging you in your life till you talk to somebody about it. So

why God wired it that we need each other. So you don't get healed

on your own. You don't get well on your own. You don't grow

on your own. You got to face up to your fear of being honest

with maybe just one or two, not a lot of people. Now,

as your pastor, I want you to succeed. I pray for your success

in all seven key areas. I pray for that. But here's what the

Bible says on the screen. You'll never succeed. You will never succeed in

life if you try to hide your sense, confess them and give them up,

then God will spank your pants. Now that's what I says. It

says, then God will what show mercy? A lot of times I'm afraid

to tell God my sense. Oh, like he doesn't know. He's just

waiting to show mercy. He's just waiting to show mercy, says confess,

then you'll be succeeded. Somebody say, why am I not succeeding because you

got hidden sin? Why am I not succeeding because you're hiding your defects?

Why am I'm doing my best and I'm not succeeding. The Bible says,

as long as you try to hide those hang ups, you're not going to

succeed. Change requires honest community. We waste enormous energy covering up. And

if you took all the energy you spend trying to cover up your hidden secrets

and you invested it in being honest, you know what, you would be

liberated and be a thing of the past. Our biggest hurdle to holiness,

My biggest hurdle to holiness is my desire to want to look good. But

in a small group with a few friends, three four, five friends,

I don't have to look good. I don't have to look good. I

can just be myself with those people. Now, if you're not in a

group, there are areas of your life you're never gonna get victory over now

Glatian six' to two. By helping each other with your troubles, you

truly obey the law of Christ. What does the law of Christ? Love

your neighbor as yourself. So you get a group, and then in your

small group you establish some ground rules. And one of the ground rules is

what's set in the group stays in the group. Okay, you don't have

a safe group until people go, okay, we can share anything here and

it's not gonna get reported on Facebook. You don't wait for prayer time in

your small group and then start tweeting. Okay, Now, what's set in

the group stays in the group. And another ground rule is you don't try

to fix people. We're not psychologists. We're not trying to fix each other.

And another principle is you don't minimize other people's pain. Is you know

you don't say you know? It's like I heard about a guy. A

woman said my husband dying. A guy says, I'm sorry my hamster died.

You see I don't think he got it. You know, he just

didn't get it. You don't minimize other people's pain, guys. You share

your deep as sears with other guys and gals. You share your deepers search

with other gals and in a small group. I don't focus on changing you.

I focus on changes I need to make now. That leads us to

the last thing that happens has to happen, and that is change requires overcoming

temptation. And that is a skill most people have never learned. They don't

know how to overcome, how to defeat temptation. Ephesians four twenty six and

twenty seven says this, don't let the sun go down while you're still angry,

for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil. Circle the phrase mighty

foothold? What does that mean? Did you know that you can be a

believer, you can be a follower of Christ, and you can give the

devil a foothold in your life? What is a foothold in your life?

A mighty it's when Satan gets a beachhead in your life. In World War

Two, when the Marines would go into the islands of the South Pacific,

goal Number one was simply to establish a beachhead. All they wanted to do

is land on the island and establish a beachhead one hundred yards deep and a

couple hundred yards wide. Once they had that, once we were on an

island the Marines, the rest of the battle was taken over by the army,

and they would slowly take over the entire island. But you got establish

a beachhead first. And the Bible says, don't let Satan do that in

your life. Don't let him get a beachhead in your life. Anytime you

have a seat secret Sin, that's a beachhead in your life. He said,

what creates a stronghold in my life? I'm going to be a Christian

and Satan can have a stronghold in my life. What is it? Well,

here he says, it's anger, But I can tell you in many

other passages what creates a stronghold in your life? Is any negative emotion you

hold on to write that down. A negative emotion will give Satan a stronghold

in my life. It can be anger. So he says, don't hold

onto anger. You hold on the anger overnight, you're allowing Satan to get

a stronghold in your eye. You deal with that conflict before you go to

bed, and if you have to stay up all night, you stay up

all night. Do not give a strong stronghold a foothold to Satan in your

life by holding on to a negative emotion. But it doesn't have to be

anger. It could be worry, It could be fear. When you hold

on to a secret, fear, that creates a stronghold, a foothold in

your life. When you hold on to resentment, when you hold on to

bitterness or grudge, that it creates a stronghold in your life. When you

hold on to loneliness, when you hold on to guilt, when you hold

on to shame, when you hold on to regret, when you hold on

to anxiety. Any negative emotion allows Satan to get a stronghold in your life.

And in this series on a Temptation, I'm going to talk to you

about how to defeat that. Now, let me close with this question,

how serious are you about really changing? Do you intend to be emotionally stronger

in three years? Do you intend to be spiritually deeper in three years?

Do you intend to be financially sounder? Do you intend to be more mentally

alert, intellectually smart. The sad thing is some of you won't be,

why because you never intended to be and you weren't willing to do what the

Bible requires us to do for lasting change. Let's bow our heads, Father,

because none of us is perfect. We all have defective areas of our

lives. And some of the areas that are defective in our lives are so

painful we can hardly even stand to think about them. We're embarrassed by it,

and we're stuck in fear and stuck in secrets. And I know everybody

here has struggled with some kind of defects emotional, relational, spiritual, mental.

Some of us are in defective relationships that are stuck or cold, or

dying or maybe even strange separated. Many others of us are struggling with habits,

secret hurts, or fears that are out of control in our lives,

and we're afraid that they're out of control. Give every person here the courage

to take the first step in making the hard changes in me. Now,

would you pray this in your heart? God? Will hear you? Just

say, Dear God, I want to learn the truth. I don't want

to build my life on lies. But I want to learn the truth.

I want to know the path to walk on. I want to know when

I'm off the path, how to get back on it, and how to

stay on it. I want to begin spending time in your word every day

so I can learn the foundation of truth. Lord, you said that change

requires making choices. This there's some things I've got to let go of.

Help me to have the courage to let go of those things. And I'm

going to ask you to help me to work out what you're working in my

life. Give me the will and the power that I don't have greater than

willpower. I want to begin thinking in a new way. I want to

fill my mind daily so that there's a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes.

I want to have the same mind and attitude of Jesus. I know

I can't do this on my own, Holy Spirit, I want you to

help me put on this new nature, be a new person. And as

you work within me, I want to become more and more like Jesus Christ,

more solid, more stable, more strong, more successful the way you

intend me to be. Help me to have the courage to be a part

of an honest community. Lord, if I'm not in a small group right

now, I commit to being in a small group, to starting a group,

to beginning one today. And if you're in a group, say Lord,

help me to be honest in my group. That might break down the

wall that people could really find help and encouragement because we're all in the same

boat. Help us to obey the law of Christ and love each other's we

love ourselves, and Lord, use this small group series to teach me the

skills of overcoming temptation and how to not let a negative emotion become a foothold

for the devil in my life. If you've never invited Jesus Christ into your

life, say Jesus Christ. I don't understand it all, but as much

as I know how, I'm saying yes to you. I want to invite

you into my life today in your name, I pray Amen. Hi everybody,

This is Rick and I hope you enjoyed today's broadcast. You know,

if you just prayed that prayer for the very first time, or you just

recommitted your life to Jesus again today, would you let me know about it.

There's something real about sharing your commitment so write me Rick at pastor Rick

dot com and say, Rick, I prayed that prayer of commitment. I

gave my life to Christ. And I'll send you some material that will help

you on your journey with Jesus. And I'll also pray for you. God

bless you. You're listening to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. We're so happy you've

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