Rick Warren - How to Deal with How You Feel Part Three

This is Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, the Bible teaching ministry

of Pastor Rick Warren. Today we continue in a series

called Transform. In these lessons, Rick uncovers key principles found

in God's.

Word that will completely.

Transform our lives from the inside out in every area

including spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, relational, financial, and vocational. Now,

if you can improve in any of these areas I

just mentioned, stay with us, because in just a few

moments we're going to let you know how you can

have your very own Transformed study kit from Pastor Rick,

which includes a seven session DVD and workbook. You can

take a sneak peek right now by going to pastororik

dot com while you listen, and if you want, you

can just text the word Daily to eight hundred, six hundred,

five thousand and four to I doubt more. Right now,

here's Pastor Rick Warren with part three of a message

called how to deal with how You Feel?

The Bible says in so I'm twenty six to two,

Lord Cross, examine me, Test my motives and my affections.

What are your affections? There are your emotions? Test my

motives and my feelings? What I feel my affectations, my emotions.

So you ask God to help you evaluate it. But

let me give you another one that's even but more personal.

Get a friend to help you, and that is sometimes

it's best to have a friend who can challenge what

you're feeling. Now, you've got a pretty close friend to

do that. Have you given anybody in your life the

permission to challenge your feelings? Or does everybody just have

to be a yes man or yes woman to you

that if you feel a certain way, there's no.

Room for are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

That's a correct understanding? A true friend is somebody you

give permission to say are you sure about that? You

give them the ability to challenge your emotion and say,

you know, Rick, I don't think I don't think you're

thinking correctly right now. I don't think what you're feeling

is actually true. Job had a friend like that. His

name was Elfhaz, and in Job fifteen, verse twelve, Elifaz

asked Job, why has your heart carried you away? And

why do your eyes flash? Now that's a poetic way

of saying, how come you've run off the deep end?

And why do you get so angry? Do you have

anybody who could ask you that question and you wouldn't

get mad at them that you know they're doing it

out of love. You need partners in your life. You

need not only a small group that's a good place

to find them, but you need a spiritual partner, not

a lot, just one person who you've given the right

to challenge what you're feeling and saying, you know what,

I don't think you're thinking correctly, that's not right. Why

are you going off the deep end on this? And

why are you getting so angry about it? Give somebody

that permission. Now, let me give you three questions to

ask about your own emotions when you're trying to figure

out how to deal with how I feel. Okay, so

let's say you're going let's say you're angry, or you're upset,

or you're irritated, or you're frustrated, or you're depressed or whatever.

You ask three street questions. Number one, what's the real reason,

the real reason that I'm feeling this? And that goes

back to what we were talking earlier. You know, maybe

it's fear, maybe it's worry, Maybe it's hooked into something

that your dad said to you.

Years and years and years.

Ago, and when your husband said it to you, all

of a sudden, boy, he gets all the wrath that

you'd pent up against your dad or vice versa. What's

the real reason I'm feeling this? Second question, ask yourself,

is it true? It's what I'm feeling right now?

True.

There's a point where Elijah in the Bible gets so down, discouraged, oppressed,

and he comes crying to God and he's complaining. He says, God,

I'm the only one in the entire nation of Israel

left serving you, and God challenges us, Are you kidding me?

I got all these people who still serve me. Why

are you asking acting like this? You're acting like you're

the only one trying to do the right thing in

the whole world. No, that's not true. So what's the

real reason I feel this way? And in that case,

he was tired, and is it true? In that case

it wasn't true. Then the third question, this is really important,

is what I'm feeling helping me or hurting me? Sometimes

this is the s simplest thing to changing an emotion

by simply saying, is what I'm feeling right now going

to help me? Get what I want to get or

is it actually going to hinder me getting for what

I get? In other words, well I get what I

want by continuing to feel this way. A lot of

feelings that we have feel natural, but they're actually they're

actually self defeating. For instance, let's say you go in

and you sit down at a restaurant and the service

is slow.

And I mean it's slow.

And you're waiting and you're waiting, and you're waiting and

waiting to be served, and then a couple comes in

like fifteen minutes after you and sits down and then

they get their meal before you do, and you look

at your wife, You're going, are you seeing this?

You watching this here?

And you're starting to get a little irritated, and all

of a sudden, you feel an emotion welling up inside

of you. Now you go, what's the real reason I'm

feeling this? I'm hungry? Okay, okay, is it true?

Yeah, it's true.

I'm frustrated because the service is slow here. So that

one is particularly true. But then is it helping or

is it hurting?

Okay? Question?

Do you get better service by getting angry at a waitress?

No?

Absolutely not, And so get it you know, it feels

good to get angry. It's like, how come this place?

Blah blah blah blah blah blah. You may feel better,

but you just got worse service. You don't get it.

That's usually the exact opposite of what you want. Driving

to services today, I had the radio on and I

was hearing one of the chief of police is the

chief of police in Long Beach, and he was saying

he was teaching.

He said, we teach.

Our cops in a crisis, you lower your voice, not

raise it. Well, naturally, in a christ you want to

raise your voice. And he said, no, No, what's that?

That's just going to escalate the problem escalated. So you

ask yourself, is this emotion actually getting me where I

want to go? So let's say you want to change

your husband, or your kids, or your wife or somebody

who works with you. Does nagging work? Has it ever

worked anywhere? Let me ask you this, Does nagging work

on you? When somebody comes and tells you all the

things that you're doing wrong? Doesn't that just make you

want to change?

No?

No, all it does is make you defensive. So you

need to ask yourself. I know I'm frustrated right now

with this person in my life, but is expressing my

frustration to them going to actually make the change and

I'm going to get what I want out of this?

No, it is not.

That's called managing your emotions. You've got to name it.

Here's what I'm feeling, and here's the trigger. And then

you've got to challenge it. What's the real reason I

feel this way? Is it true? Is it helping me?

Or is it hurting me? And then the third thing

you got to do is you've got to tame it

or change it. You've got to change it. You've got

to make the change in the emotion that you want

to make when you have that unwanted emotion. Now, as

I said, last week, we talked about managing your mind.

This week we're talking about managing your heart. If you

want to succeed in life, you must learn how to

master your moods. And when you have a mood, when

you have an emotion that isn't getting you where you

want to get, you've got two options. You either change

it or you channel it.

You're listening to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. Rick will be

back in just a moment with the rest of today's lesson.

You can sign up for Pastor Rick's free email devotional

at pastorick dot com. That's pastorick dot com.

Have you ever noticed that the world has ever changing

so called answers to your relationship struggles, solutions to your

financial troubles, and explanations to your search for meaning? But

what the world offers often leaves us empty and searching

for more. The good news is God's Word contains timeless

truths that can transform every area of your life from

the inside out. That's why Pastor Rick created a very

special Bible study called Transformed. In it, he'll help you

discover the key Biblical principles that will completely transform you

by changing the way you think. Pastor Rick covers every

area of your life spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, relational, financial,

and vocational, filled with weekly lessons, daily devotions, and exercises

to help you go deeper in God's Word. This seven

week DVD and workbook study is perfect to do on

your own or with a small group of friends. We'll

send you the Transformed Study kid as our way of

saying thanks when you give a gift to Daily Hope

to help take the certain hope of Jesus to people

around the world. To get your copy of this great resource,

call eight hundred six hundred five zero zero four, or

go to Pastororik dot com. That's eight hundred six hundred

five zero zero four or pastick dot com.

Once again, here's Pastor Rick.

When you have a mood, when you have an emotion

that isn't getting you where you want to get, you

got two options. Change it or you channel it. Change

it or channel it. Let me talk to you about

both of these things. Some emotions are so destructive, so damaging,

so hurtful, so non effective. The only attitude only thing

you can do is just change it. You got to

change what you're feeling. Philippians two five says this, Your

attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

So your attitude that includes your emotions, what you're feeling,

should be the same as that of Jesus. So you

ask yourself, how would Jesus feel in the situation. Would

Jesus get irritated with this waitress?

No?

Would Jesus be yelling at the person.

No?

Would Jesus be giving up, wringing his hands and worrying

that it isn't all going to work out.

No.

Would Jesus be fearful, No, would Jesus be worried.

No.

So the bottom line on this one is I instantly

dismiss any feeling that doesn't make me more like Jesus.

Your attitude should be the same as Jesus. So if

I'm feeling an emotion, I've identified it, and I go,

would Jesus have this emotion? No, then that's not the

way I should be responding to my wife right now,

because Jesus wouldn't respond that way. So I instantly dismiss

any feeling. Jesus would not be prideful, Jesus would not

be envious, Jesus would not be bitter. Jesus would not

be enraged. I would instantly drop that attitude. But sometimes

you can even take a negative emotion that you're feeling

and rather than change it, you channel it. You channel it.

What does that mean you use it for good? For instance,

let's say you have been the victim of injustice. You

have experienced prejudice, maybe racial profiling. You have experienced unfairness

in the classroom, unfairness because you're a man or a woman,

or a different color from somebody else, or whatever. But

you've had something unfair in your life and you naturally

the emotion's going to come up in you is anger.

That's a legitimate response. Is my anger going to get

me what I want? Probably not? But can my anger be.

Used for good to help other people? Yes?

And all of a sudden you become a champion for

justice because you know what it means to have experienced injustice.

Does that make sense?

And so you take a negative emotion anger, And when

you use your anger for your benefit, that's selfish anger.

That's a sin. When you use your anger for the

benefit of people, that's righteous anger. See, anger is not

a sin. The Bible says in scripture, be angry and

sin not. It's what you do with that anger, and

it's the reason you're angry that makes either sin or not.

You can get angry. If somebody hurt my wife and kids,

I'd get angry. I would because anger is sometimes in

evidence of love. If you never get angry about anything,

it means you're apathetic. It means you have no love

in your life. Because if you love something or someone

and somebody hurts them, you're going to get angry. That's

the natural thing. Love gets angry. God gets angry. The

only reason you have the ability to get angry because

God gets angry. God gets angry at sin, God gets

angry to evil. God gets angry when women are rape.

God gets angry when children are molested. God gets angry

when people are abused and misused and injustice. And so

you could take a negative emotion and you can use

it in a positive way.

Let me give you another example. Many of you.

Have wanted to be married and it just didn't happen,

and your love has been blocked to date. Some of

you are married and you've wanted to have children and

it hasn't happened, and your love.

Has been blocked to date. What do you do with

a blocked love?

Do you pull yourself back into a prison, lock the door,

pull up the drawbridge, fill the moat with alligators, and

say I'm never going to let anybody hurt me again. No,

what do you do? What do you do with a

blocked love? You rechannel it. Maybe you didn't get to

love the person you wanted to love, but the world

is full of people who need your love. Maybe you

didn't get to have the children you wanted to have,

but there's one hundred and thirty seven million orphans in

the world, and there are children on your street who

need your love. You rechannel a blocked love. You use

it for good. You don't stew in your hurt. You

use it for good. If you don't change the emotion,

you channel the emotion.

And you use it for good.

When Matthew died, I entered into the most deep possible

grief you could imagine. I'm still not out of it,

and I cry every day for the death of my

son and the loss of his life. But I decided

from the first moment that I was going to channel

that grief for good, and that I would use my

pain to help other people. And CA did too, and

we have been doing it because I'm not about to

waste hurt. I'm not about to waste any pain that

I go through. If I'm going to have it, I'm

going to use it for good. What pain in your

life are you using for good? Maybe you have been

in so much pain you didn't even want to talk

about it. Then you need to learn to manage your emotions.

You need to name it, you need to challenge it,

and then you need to channel it. If you're not

going to change it and use it for good, and

God can use it in your life. Your greatest ministry

could come out of your deepest pain. Your greatest ministry

will not come out of your strength and successes. You

do your strength and discusses, people just go, well, goodie

for you, you're good at it. But if it comes out

of your pain, then it could help others. So you

change it or you channel it. Now, what about those

ones that need changing? How do you tame a wild

emotion you got? You say, I am a worrier and

I cannot stop worrying, and I can't stop that.

I just worry, worry, worry.

Where I am a perfectionist and I can't stop it.

I just criticize and judge and pick and nag, and

I am lazy and I just tend to be ill

these emotions.

In my mind.

Fear, I'm a fearful person. Anger, I'm a naturally angry person.

And I lose my temper either blow up or I

clam up. And there are different kinds of uh. You know,

there's the there's Mountain Vesuvius, and there's the mute, and

there's the martyr poor me. There's lots of ways. But

it's a problem in your life. How do you tame

a wild emotion? Well, not by willpower, not by willpower,

the Bible says, this is Zachariah.

Or six.

You will not succeed by your own strength or power,

but by my spirit, says the Lord Almighty zachar For six.

You don't change an emotion by willpower. I'm going to

force this change emotion. It doesn't work that way, he says.

It's not by power, it's not by might. It's by

my spirit, says the Lord. Well, how does that happen?

How do you let the Holy Spirit change an emotion

that's hurting you and hurting other people in your life.

Let me give you two starter suggestions.

Number one, every day, ask God to fill me with

his spirit. I don't get out of bed, my feet

don't touch the ground without me saying, Holy Spirit, fill

me today. I need your spirit in my life because

it's not by might, nor by power, not willpower, but

by my spirit. I'm going to be able to manage

my moods and my emotions today. Galatians five twenty two

in twenty three says this, when the Holy Spirit controls

our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us.

Love, joy, peace. We could stop right there.

I'll just take those three.

This is Pastor Rick's daily hope. We're so happy that

you've chosen to study along with us today. If you'd

like to receive ricks free daily devotional, just go to

Pastorick dot com and sign up right now. Rick will

be back to close out our time today. But first,

you know the world is shouting for our attention with

answers to our relationship struggles, solutions to our financial troubles,

and explanations to our search for meaning. But the world's

promises leave us empty and searching for more. God's Word

contains the only answers that promise to transform your life

from the inside out. That's why Pastor Rick has put

together the Transformed Study Kit, which includes a vegan leatherbound

interactive workbook and a seven video session DVD. These video

sessions can be used independently or with a small group

of friends. This kit will help uncover key Biblical principles

that will completely transform your life in every area including spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, relational, financial,

and vocational. Will send you the Transformed Study Kit as

our way of saying thanks when you give a gift

to help Daily Hope take the certain Hope of Jesus

to people around the world. To get your copy of

this great resource, call eight hundred six hundred five thousand

and four or go to Pastorick dot com. That's eight

hundred six hundred five thousand and four or Pastorick dot com.

Here's Pastor Rick with an important closing word.

You know.

Here at Daily Hope, we use the Internet and podcasts

and email and as many other different channels as possible

to share God's hope and love with as many people

as we can. Now, one of the ways that we

use is by broadcasting on radio stations just like the

one you're listening to right now.

Now.

You may not know this, but purchasing radio airtime is

a significant expense for our ministry. But we want to

bring this teaching to you, and we believe you are

worth it now in order to be good stewards of

the gifts that God has given us, we're only able

to continue on the air on stations we're listener supporters

let us know that they're listening to the programs. That's

why it's very important that you let us know the

call letters and the city of your radio station when

you give any kind of gift or support to Daily Hope.

This is very important. Let us know your call letters

and the name of the city that you are hearing

this broadcast. Now, I realize that some of you can't

afford to help us out financially. That's okay. We love you,

We thank God for you. We want to minister and

serve you. Everybody in the Body of Christ has different

gifts to share at different times in life. You can

pray for us and there will be others of you

who can give generously so that God can continue to

spread this message throughout the world. You need to know

that Daily Hope is one hundred percent funded by the

daily gifts and offerings that you give with your generous support.

You also need to know that I don't take any

salary from Daily Hope. All of the gifts given to

this broadcast go directly toward fulfilling our mission of reaching

people with the certain hope that we can only find

in Jesus. So I'm going to ask you to do

something today. Will you pray for me and will you

pray for this Daily Hope ministry help us to reach

every person in the world with the certain hope that

only comes from believing and receiving Jesus Christ. You know

it's only by hearing the word of God and by

putting into practice that we discover and we fulfill the

purposes God has for each of our lives. So I

want to just say thank you. Thank you so much

for your financial support that you're able to give whenever

you're able to give it. And may God bless your generosity.

To give a gift and help keep Daily Hope on

your local radio station. Go to Pastor Rick dot com

or call eight hundred six hundred five thousand and four.

That's Pastor Rick dot com or call eight hundred six

hundred five thousand and four. Be sure to join us

again next time as we look into God's Word for

our daily hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor Ricks

Daily Hope and your generous financial support.