Rick Warren - How We Help Each Other Grow—Part One

This is Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, the audio broadcast ministry

of Pastor Rick Warren. Today we continue in a series

called Better Together. In this series, Rick takes us through

First Corinthians chapter thirteen and shows us how to cultivate deep,

meaningful relationships with the people around us. In just a

few moments, we're going to tell you how you can

get a copy of Pastor Rick's book called God's Power

to Change Your Life. In it, you'll discover how God

provides the power you need to take you from where

you are to where you want to be. Find out

more by going to Pastorick dot com or by texting

the word daily to eight hundred, six hundred five thousand

and four while you listen to today's message, that's Pastorick

dot com or the word daily to eight hundred, six

hundred five thousand and four. Right now, here's Pastor Rick

Warren with part one of a message called how We

Help each Other Grow.

Let's read together Romans eight twenty nine. Would you read

it with me? From the very beginning, God decided that

those who came to him, and all along he knew

who would should become like his son. The third purpose

of life is to become like Jesus Christ. While you're

here on earth, God wants to get you ready for

heaven and he wants you to grow in character. He

wants you to grow spiritually. That's what we're going to

look at today. How do I grow spiritually? But more

than that, how do I help each other grow? Because

the Bible teaches you cannot grow spiritually on your own.

You have to have other people in your life. That's

why we talk so much about small groups in this church.

You have to have other people to help you grow.

In fact, look at the next verse first, the Salonians

five eleven. I'd like for you to read this aloud

with me, plus also read the reference. First Thessalonians five eleven.

Let's say it together. Encourage each other and build each

other up. First Thessalonians five eleven. Now let's say it again.

Encourage each other and build each other up. First Thessalonians

five eleven. Now this is this week's memory verse, so

let's say it again together. Encourage each other and build

each other up. First Thessalonians five eleven. Everybody look up

here and don't look down. Now, encourage each other and

build each other up. First Thessalonians five eleven. You memorize

the Bible verse we peede, turn to somebody, say I

did it, I did it. Okay, all right, one more time,

First Thessalonians five eleven. Encourage each other and build each

other up. First Thessalonians five eleven. Now that's what we're

going to talk about how to do today. And I'm

very excited about this message because when we talk about

how we help each other grow, you can apply this,

like last week's message, in so many different ways. You

can use it to help your boyfriend grow, your girlfriend grow,

your husband, your wife. You can use it to help

your kids grow, the people you work with grow. You

can use it in your small group how we help

each other grow.

You're listening to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. Rick will be

back in just a moment with the rest of today's lesson.

You can sign up for Pastor Rick's free email devotional

at pastorick dot com. That's pastorick dot com.

What does it take to become more loving, live more peacefully,

develop patience, have self control? Pastor Rick says. Throughout all

the years he's been a pastor, the number one question

he's been asked, is why can't I change? People want

to change, but they're stuck. Maybe you feel that way.

In his book God's Power to Change Your Life, Rick

lays the groundwork for personal transformation, then offers biblical insights

and simple steps for ten areas of growth that can

take you from where you are to where you want

to be. This book connects you with the power to

actually make the changes you long to make. And as

you apply the truth of God's word by the power

of His Spirit, your life will change. You'll move out

of your rid and get on track with God's wonderful

purposes for your life. And today, when you give a

gift to Daily Hope to help take the hope of

Jesus to people everywhere, we'll send you a copy of

God's Power to Change Your Life. Just go to Pastororrick

dot com right now to get your copy, or you

can call eight hundred and six hundred five zero zero

four that's Pastorick dot com. Or call eight hundred six

hundred five zero zero four and be sure to let

us know which station you heard us on. Thank you

so much for your support. There's only three days left

to get this great resource, so.

Don't wait, and now here's Pastor Rick Warren with the

second half of today's lesson.

I'm very excited about this message because when we talk

about how we help each other grow, you can apply this,

like last week's message, in so many different ways. You

can use it to help your boyfriend grow, your girlfriend grow,

your husband, your wife. You can use it to help

your kids grow, the people you work with grow. You

can use it in your small group how we help

each other grow. Tom's going to talk about the next one,

all right.

The goal of forty days of Community is learn how

to love, learn how to love each other. And one

of the ways we do that is when we decide

to help each other grow. And there's a lot of

ways we can do that, but I think this first

one may be one of the most powerful choices you

and I can make each week, and that is the

decision to love other people help them grow by affirming

each other's worth. By affirming each other's worth, here's a

little secret if you haven't figured this out. In life,

everybody is looking for affirmation. Have you noticed that everybody

is looking for affirmation and people will do almost anything

to get it. If you don't believe that just watch

some of the reality shows. Look at what people do

to get on TV, to get affirmed, to get eat worms,

do whatever just so people will applaud you. Pretty ridiculous

when you and I affirm other people. We're doing some

incredible things in this world. We are showing love. We're ministering.

Like Jesus ministered, he affirmed people as he ministered. He's

made a difference in this world. We're doing God's work

in the world. We're representing God. If you haven't figured

this out yet, God is an incredibly affirming and loving father,

and we're showing the world a little bit more about

what God is like. But here's the question, how how

do I do this? How do I make the choice

to affirm people in everyday life. Well, there's four ways

you can do that there on the outline. Number one,

you do it by showing acceptance with acceptance, by doing

what the Bible says in Romans fifteen seven, when it

says accept one another just as Christ accepted you, instead

of choosing to snub people and belittle people and to

mean people, which is an easy choice to make, especially

if you're having a bad day. If I'm having a

bad day, it's great to put other people down. You

have a bad day too, that kind of a feeling.

But when you make the choice instead to lift people up,

you are making an incredible impact in their lives. It's

easy to look down on people, it's easy to act

like you're better than people, and there's a couple of

facts that really make that easy in our world. Number One,

we live in a sort of a put down world.

People tend to put other people down. When I feel bad,

I try to drag other people down to my level.

There's that kind of feeling in life. Our culture teaches

us to compare everything, rate everything, appearance, talent, income, so

it's easy to put other people down. There's a second

fact that keeps us sometimes from accepting people, and that

is our tend to see that we all have this

tendency to take our strength and project them on other

people and notice how other people don't quite made up

to our standards. For instance, I know that some of

you are people who are on time all the time.

You're just that kind of people. That's the way life

is for you. And those other people like us who

are not on time. You tend to sort of look

down your nose at us. You come and you sit

in the bleacher so you can watch the people come

in late. It just makes you feel good about yourself.

There's late late, late. Late just makes you feel good

those other people that are late. We tend to project

our strengths on other people forgetting that we have other

weaknesses or some.

Of you are.

You're tidy people, I mean just everything's nice and clean.

You sort of like to go into other people's house

and just sort of notice. You don't say anything about it,

but just I see that. See that, Yeah, I see that.

It makes you feel better about yourself. Let me tell

you a better way to feel better about yourself. Instead

of doing it by putting other people down. One of

the greatest ways to feel better about who you are

is to lift other people up. It gives you a

thrill like nothing else. The Bible says this verse is

up on the screen in Romans fourteen ten. Why do

you look down on another Christian? Remember each of us

will stand personally before the judgment seat of God. The

point of that verse is who am I? Who are

you to look down on other believers? God made us,

He is our father, he is our creator, and we're

all going to stand before him, and we need to

lift each other up rather than putting each other down.

Truth of the matter, God is that God lifts us up,

He affirms us. So who am I to put down

somebody else? In fact, it is not God who puts

us down. It's not God who accuses us. You know

who the Bible says the accuser is. The accuser is Satan.

So when I spend all my time putting other people down,

I'm doing Satan's work for him. And he smiles at it.

He enjoys that. Now, let's just make this sort of personal.

We're talking about small groups during this time of looking

at how we're better together. Who is it in your

group that you have a sort of a hard time accepting?

Who is it?

Don't look at I'm just asking the question, who is

it that you have a hard time accepting? Have you

ever thought about this? God wants to use you in

their lives to help them to grow. The fact that

you have a hard time accepting them means you're different,

And the fact that you're different means that you can

help each other grow.

They probably have a.

Hard time accepting you too, because you're different. God wants

to use you in their maturity. But it all starts

with acceptance. You cannot I can't help somebody grow and

reject them at the same time. You have to accept

them like Jesus accepted us. In order to do that,

you and I have to value the God given differences

and uniqueness that we all have versus in your outline.

But one Corinthian twelve six says God works through different

people in different ways, and I am glad he does.

I'm so thrilled he does. He's made us different. Now,

how do you tell when you've accepted someone. Here's one

of the tests. You stop insisting that they be just

like you. You realize and rejoicing the fact that they're different.

Truth of the matter is the world will be a

boring place. Everybody was just like you. So God has

made us in all different kinds of ways, to do

all different kinds of things, so everything can get done

in this world. And the goal of a small group,

goal of a family, goal of any group is not

to mold people into your image. God wants us to

all be different, but to help people to discover who

God made them to be. To tell people to recognize,

to affirm their uniqueness, I don't know when the last

time he looked at somebody and said, you know what,

I've noticed you're good at this. Oh, I do this too.

It's easy to look at somebody and say you're bad

at that. That's lazy. Anybody can notice that. But when

was the last time he put a little energy and

effort into a relationship where you could look at somebody

and say, now you are really.

Good at that.

You don't know the difference that will make in that

person's life. Someone said that people are not like clay

to be molded by us, but they're like gifts to

be unfolded when you notice these incredible gifts are in

people's lives.

The second way is by showing attention. That's just acceptance,

but attention. Now that takes more time than acceptance. You know,

you can accept somebody and still ignore them, and I

accept you just stay out of my life. And so

you can disregard people, you can overlook them. And the

Bible says in Galatians six' ten give special. Attention circle

that give special attention to those who are in the

family of. Believers now why do they get special? Attention

it's one of the benefits of being in the family Of.

God it's one of the benefits of being a part

of a. Church you get special. Attention it's the flip

side of what we looked at two weeks, ago where

it said pay attention to those outside the. Family but

this says give special attentions to those who are believers

in the family Of. God why because here's the general.

Principle whatever you pay attention to is going to. Grow

IF i pay attention to my, garden it's going to.

Grow IF i pay attention to my, kids they're going to.

Grow IF i pay attention to my, marriage it's going

to grow and get. Better IF i pay attention to my,

work that's going to. Grow the only principle where this

doesn't work is my. Hair the more ATTENTION i pay to,

it the more it falls. Out, now what is the

greatest gift of? Love, well it's not, diamonds and it's not,

flowers and it's not. Chocolate the greatest gift of love

you can give is focused. Attention focused. Attention you, know

you can affirm people just by looking them in the.

Eye and just by looking them in the, eye you're

SAYING i value. You what you have to say is

important to me because you matter to. Me and what

people want more than anything else is focused. Attention they

want to know that their thoughts, matter that their lives,

matter that they are. Valuable you're not just watching THE

tv or reading the paper while you're listening to. Them

you are focusing on. Them god pays attention to. You he,

says even the hairs on your head are. Numbered And

jesus said that the essence of relationships is not what

we do for each. Other and the essence of relationationships

is not even what we give to each other provide

for each. Other the essence of relationships is how much

of ourselves we give to each other focused. Attention, now

a lot of guys we just don't get. THIS i

can't tell you how many Men i've talked to who,

SAID i don't understand. IT i provide everything my family.

NEEDS i give my wife everything she. NEEDS i provide

my kids with everything. Needs what more do they? Want

they want? You they want, You they want your, Time

they want your, attention they want your. Focus they want

to know that you think they, matter and so they

need time with. You and nothing can compensate for. Time

kids don't need. Things they need. Parents they need, time

and marriages need, time and friendships need, time and groups need. Time,

now one of the greatest things that keeps us from

doing this is televis And. Internet the Average american now

WATCHES tv and our works are plays on their computer

five to six hours a. Day that's over thirty hours a.

Week that's one, thousand five hundred and sixty hours a. Year,

now fifteen hundred and sixty hours is the equivalent of

spending ninety seven days straight at sixteen hours a day

doing nothing but sitting in front of the television of the. Computer,

well it's no wonder we don't have time for. Relationships

it always amazed me When friends was. ON i guess

it's still on in. Syndication but When friends, on people

would rather Watch friends than make, friends and they would

religiously spend an hour every night watching the. Reruns but

they wouldn't think of spending an hour every night making a.

Friend they'd rather watch somebody else live a fake life

than them live a real. Life, now knowing that this

Is Orange, COUNTY i would be able to say that

most of you sitting here and in our, venue who

are in time starved, relationships you are you're in a

time starved. Relationship as a book came out years ago

called A starving For. Attention it was about our. Anorexia

but most relationships are starving for. Attention so let me

ask you who do you tend to? Overlook it's often

the people closest to. You who do you tend to?

Overlook do you overlook the receptionists at? Work do you

overlook the secretary? There do you overlook the male person

who is the person that's in your life all the,

time but you just don't see them because you're too

busy doing something. Else here's WHAT i want you to

do this. WEEK i want you to look for opportunities

to show attention to the people in your. Life to pay.

Attention that is the greatest gift of love you can give,

them and don't just wait for it to. Happen make

opportunities to show. Attention and THEN i want you to

schedule time this week with both your group and your

family because you need both of them in your life to.

Grow they're essential to growth because we need acceptance and

we need. Attention, now here's the third practical way that

you can help people. Grow your, husband your, wife your, boyfriend,

anybody you help them grow by showing, affection. Affection i'm

talking about physical. Touch. Now you, know we've all read

about babies and the failure to thrive. Syndrome that means

that little, infants if they are not, stroked if they're not,

caressed if they're not, touched as they grow, up they don't,

Develop they don't grow the way That god intended for

them to. Grow babies have to be. TOUCHED i think

that's WHY i made them so, soft because you want

to touch. Them you, know you want to nuzzle, them

you want to hold them, close and they need that

stimulation of skin in order to grow and. Develop, now

most people know that it's called the failure to thrive.

Syndrome what most people don't know is adults need it.

TOO ucla to the study a while back and discovered

that to be a, healthy, fulfilled satisfied, adult you need

eight to ten meaningful touches every. Day said, Boy i'm getting.

Cheated you do, handshakes, hugs pat on the bat, back

a little. Squeeze you were made for being. Touched whether

you ever marry or, not whether you ever have sex or,

not you need touches in your life in order to

grow and to be all That god wants you to.

Be and YET i talk to a lot of people

sometimes on the patty who, say you, Know, rick the

only physical AFFECTION i get all week is at, church

when you, say turn around and hug, somebody or turn

around and shake hands with, somebody or give somebody a

pat on? Them he, Said are they say that's ALL

i get all Week When i'm out on the patio

AND i hug somebody off in, wonder how long does

that hug have to last that? Person most of you,

Know i'm pretty famous for, hugging because if you get

in my, way you're gonna get. Hugged and that's WHY

i know why some of you leave, early because you're. Chicken,

OKAY i see you up there in the bleachers your last.

Song you side out because you Think i'll get out

Before rick gets out. Here but you can, run you can't.

Hide i'm gonna get.

You.

Eventually you're gonna get. Hugged everybody stand up right? Now,

oh he, said oh, no, everybody stand. Up come, on stand. Up,

okay stretch, everybody, stretch go, ahead, Stretch, okay touch your,

toes touch your neighbor's. Toes, OKAY i want you to turn,

around AND i want you to hug a total. Stranger go,

ahead turn, around hug a total. Stranger all, right all,

right sit, down, okay sit down. Now NOW i know

that there were two reactions to what we just. Did

some of you are, Thinking i'm never going back to

that church, again and the smarter ones are, thinking next,

Week i'm sitting by somebody. Cute, Okay So Pastor, rick

do it again next week And i'll be ready next. Time. Okay,

Oh Brother roman's twelfth. Ten let's read it aloud, together

love one another with brotherly affection as members of one. Family,

hey we're. Family we're all in the family Of. God

you're my, sister you're my. Brother brothers and sisters show

affection to each. Other you got to show, what not

just say. It it's not just enough to tell people

or say you love. Them they need to feel.

It this Is Pastor Rick's Daily. Hope we're so happy

you've chosen to study along with us. Today if you'd

like to receive hope and encouragement every, day delivered right

to your, inbox then sign up For rick's free daily

devotional by going To pastororick dot com right. Now rick

will be back to close out our time. Today but,

first what does it take to become more, loving live more,

peacefully develop patients have self? Control in his Book God's

power To Change Your, Life rick lays the groundwork for personal,

transformation then offers biblical insights and simple steps for ten

areas of growth that you can take from where you

are to where you want to. Be Here's Pastor rick

to tell you.

More you, Know i've been a pastor for over three,

decades And i've been teaching The word Of god for

over four. Decades and in all of that, time the

number one Question i've been asked by people is, this

how CAN i? Change or why CAN'T i? Change i've

talked to literally thousands and thousands of people who want

to change but are just stuck and they can't figure

out how to get. Unstuck you, know the truth is

you can't change on your own because will power alone

isn't enough to make permanent. Changes, sure you can force

yourself to change for a month or two, months but

pretty soon you're going to go back to your old,

ways pulling yourself up by your own. Bootstraps is not.

Enough talking yourself into a change by positive thinking is not.

Enough The bible, says true transformational change only comes through

the power Of god inside. You so let k you

a personal. Question how do you want to be different

at the end of this? Year what changes would you

like to make in your? Life what goals would you

like to see accomplished in your? Life, well it is

going to happen on your. Own you're going to Need god's,

power AND i want you to understand how to plug

in To god's. Power that's why this Month i'm sending

Out God's power To Change Your, life a book That i've.

Written when you give a financial gift to Support Daily

hope broadcast and, ministries you Know Daily hope is one

hundred percent supported by. Listeners we have no other outside

source of. Income it's supported by your. Gifts and when

you give to support this ministry this, MONTH i want

to give back to you this, Book God's power To

change Your.

Life this book connects you with the power to actually

make the changes you long to. Make and as you

apply the truth Of god's word by the power Of his,

spirit your life will. Change you'll move out of your

run and get on track With god's wonderful purposes for

your life and, today when you give a gift To

Daily hope to help take the hope Of jesus to people,

Everywhere we'll send You Pastor rick's book Called God's power

To Change Your life to say. Thanks just go To

pastorick dot com right now to get your, copy or

you can call eight hundred six hundred five thousand and.

Four That's pastorick dot com or eight hundred six hundred

five thousand and four and be sure to let us

know which station you hurt us. On thanks so much

for your. Support there's only three days left to get

this great, resource so don't. Wait be sure to join

us again next time as we look Into god's word

for our daily. Hope this program is sponsored By Daily

Hope ministries and your generous financial support