Rick Warren - How We Help Each Other Grow—Part Two

This is Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, the audio broadcast ministry

of Pastor Rick Warren. Today we continue in a series

called Better Together. In this series, Rick takes us through

First Corinthians chapter thirteen and shows us how to cultivate deep,

meaningful relationships with the people around us. In just a

few moments, we're going to tell you how you can

get a copy of Pastor Rick's book called God's Power

to Change Your Life. In it, you'll discover how God

provides the power you need to take you from where

you are to where you want to be. Find out

more by going to Pastorick dot com or by texting

the word daily to eight hundred, six hundred five thousand

and four while you listen to today's message, that's Pastorick

dot com or the word daily to eight hundred, six

hundred five thousand and four. Right now, here's Pastor Rick Warren.

With part two, you have a message called how We

Help each Other Grow.

UCLA did a study in a while back and discovered

that to be a healthy, fulfilled, satisfied adult, you need

eight to ten meaningful touches every day.

Say boy, I'm getting cheated.

You do handshakes, hugs, pat on the bat back, a

little squeeze. You were made for being touched. Whether you

ever marry or not, whether you ever have sex or not,

you need touches in your life in order to grow

and to be all that God wants you to be.

And yet I talk to a lot of people sometimes

on the patty who say, you know, Rick, the only

physical affection I get all week is at church, when

you say, turn around and hug somebody, or turn around

and shake hands with somebody, or give somebody a pat

on them, He said, they are They say that's all

I get all week. When I'm out on the patio

and I hug somebody off in wonder, how long does

that hug have to last that person. Most of you

know I'm pretty famous for hugging, because if you get

in my way, you're gonna get hugged. And that's why

I know why some of you leave early, because you're chicken. Okay,

I see you up there in the bleachers your last song.

You side out because you think I'll get out before

Rick gets out here. But you can run, you can't hide.

I'm gonna get you. Eventually, You're gonna get hugged. Everybody

stand up right now? Oh you say, oh no, everybody

stand up, Come on, stand up. Okay, stretch everybody, stretch,

go ahead, stretch.

Okay. Touch your toes, touch your neighbor's toes. Okay.

I want you to turn around, and I want you

to hug a total stranger. Go ahead, turn around, hug

a total stranger. All right, All right, sit down, okay,

sit down.

Now. Now.

I know that there were two reactions to what we

just did. Some of you are thinking I'm never going

back to that church again, and the smarter ones are thinking,

next week, I'm sitting by somebody cute.

Okay.

So Pastor Rick, do it again next week and I'll

be ready next time.

Okay. Oh, Brother Roman's twelfth ten.

Let's read it aloud together, love one another with brotherly

affection as members of one family.

Hey, we're family.

We're all in the family of God. You're my sister,

you're my brother. Brothers and sisters, show affection to each other.

You got to show it, not just say it. It's

not just enough to tell people or say you love them.

They need to feel it. They need to feel it.

And if you love others in God's family, you need

to show it and make a habit of hugging, of touching,

of you know, giving a firm grip of a pat

on the back and at a boy you know, just

you know, whatever it takes to just give them a

word of encouragement. It says, you know what, I love

you and we're togetherness. It's not enough just to say it.

People need to be touched and they need hugs. So

this week, here's what I want you to do. I

want you to go all over the county and hug everybody,

and if they look really weird, actually.

Just say my pastor asked me to do this. Okay.

Now here's the fourth way.

By showing acceptance, showing attention, showing affection, and showing appreciation,

we affirm each other's worth with appreciation. Now, appreciation means

to raise in value. That's what If you've you bought

a home in Orange County, you know the meaning of

the word appreciation. It goes up in value. If you've

ever bought a car, you know the meaning of depreciation.

You lose in value the moment you drive it off

the lot.

It's not worth as much as you bought paid for it.

Every time you appreciate somebody, you raise their value to

you and to others. When you appreciate your wife, you

raise her value. When you appreciate your husband, or your boyfriend,

or your girlfriend or a friend, you raise their value.

When you appreciate your kids, you raise their value. When

you appreciate your small group, you raise its value to you.

Everything you appreciate increases in value.

Now look at this next verse.

The Bible says, brothers and sisters, appreciate those who work

hard among you, who lead you in the Lord and

teach you. Now, when was the last time you thank

the Sunday school teacher? If you have children over in

all stars, Today, when this service is over, before you

leave this campus, find read people to appreciate. If you

got somebody in all stars, goverment, Thank one of the teachers,

Thank you for teaching my kids. Thank the ushers, Thank

the greeters, Thank the traffic people. Thank the people who

set up the tables. You know it takes about one

thousand people just to pull off a weekend here at Saddleback.

Thank the musicians.

Now, you don't have to thank me, because I know

you appreciate me, except those of you are afraid I'm

gonna hug you. But you can find people to express

appreciation too. And then this week I am naming this

host appreciation Week. So when you go to your small

group this week, I want you to really show appreciation

to your host.

Buy them a car.

Okay, just buy him a car and appreciate your host

and tell them how much you love them and how

much you appreciate their opening your home.

Tom's going to talk about the next one.

There's another way that we can all help each other grow,

and that is by praying for each other's growth, praying

for each other's growth, by doing what this guy named

a path for us did in Colossians four to twelve.

The path forist Paul Roade always prays for you that

you will be, that you will grow to be spiritually mature.

That guy is a hero to me. I don't know

about you. I look at it says he always praised

for you. I don't know about you. But prayer is

hard for me. It's not I think we think it

should come naturally. It doesn't for me. I mean I

have to make time, have to set a side time.

I think it's that way for most people. So he

impresses me that he took the time. He had the

discipline to always take time to pray for people. But

I also love the fact that he prayed for people's

spiritual growth. And we usually pray for people's needs. They

have health needs and financial needs, and we should, but

we don't spend nearly enough time praying for people's spiritual

growth that our character will change, because that's gonna last.

I think one of the reasons probably is we don't

know what to pray about. How would I pray for

somebody's spiritual growth? Well, fortunately, the Bible is filled with

verses about how to pray for somebody to grow spiritually.

In fact, the next six verses in your outline are

prayers for people's spiritual growth.

And I'll tell you what.

Instead of me reading these and telling you what they mean,

let's spend a few minutes just doing what these verses say.

There's people in your life you'd like to pray for

their spiritual growth, people in your group, your family, your friends.

Let me just share these verses with you, and as

I do so, let's pray for them right now, bring

their name to mind and say, yeah, God, they could

use that help them in that area. For instance, this

first verse from Ephesians three eighteen and nineteen. Who could

you pray this verse for? I pray that you'll be

able to feel and understand how long, why deep, and

high Christ's love really is, and to experience this love

for yourselves. Who do you know that needs God's love

in their life right now? Let's maybe struggle a little bit.

We'll bring their name to mind and say, God, show

them your love. Let them know today how much you

really love them. I have a feeling that these prayers

were praying right now are going to have a lot

more impact than anything Rick or I say today. That's

the power of prayer to make a difference in people's lives.

Who do you know that you need to pray the

next verse for Hebrews thirteen twenty one. I pray that

you'll always be eager to do what is right? Parents,

wouldn't like to pray that for your kids? I mean, really,

that they not only do what was right, but they'd

be eager to do the right thing. We'll pray for

him right now, or some friends, somebody at work, God

give them integrity. Just bring their name to mind God,

I pray for him. Or how about this next one?

Romans fifteen thirteen. Let's read this together. I pray, God,

who gives hope, will fill you with much joy and peace. Well,

how you trust in him? Who wouldn't like some hope

in their lives? Who doesn't need more joy, more peace

in their lives? Well you see the foundation of it

all there is that you trust in him.

So say it.

God, I know somebody who needs some hope, Help them

to trust in you during this difficult time. I know

somebody who needs some joy. Help them to trust in

you so their heart can be lifted up. Just bring

their name to mind right now. Or this next verse

where the Bible says, I pray God would give you

a spirit of wisdom and revelation. Who do you know

that's facing a decision? Ask God to give him his

wisdom right now. He says he'll give it if we ask. Well,

you pray on their behalf, pray for their growth. Or

the next verse and second Tessalonians three five. I pray

the Lord will guide you to be as loving as

God and as patient as Christ. First of all, anyone

got that one down yet, anybody here as loving as God,

anybody hears patient as Christ. We're just not there yet,

but we can pray for each other that will grow

the rest of our lives to get closer to that

Who needs some of God's love, who needs some patience

in their lives right now? Pray that verse for him.

Bring their name to mind right now? Or this next one.

Who do you know that's feeling pretty overwhelmed by life.

Who do you know that maybe doesn't feel like they're

going to make it or feels like they're having to

do everything on their own energy, own power. Pray this

verse for him Iphesian three sixteen. I pray that God

may strengthen you with power through his spirit. Bring their

name to mind, and say, God, help them to know

they're not alone today, that you'll give them strength and power. Now,

we just prayed individually for a lot of people, and

there is power in that, but there's even more power

when you pray together. When you get in a group

of other people and pray, and I want to encourage

you to do that in your group, pray for each

other's spiritual growth. And as you're doing that, just a

couple of real quick suggestions. First of all, make it

a priority, you know, if you're in a group and

you're gonna pray, and you wait till the end of

the meeting to do that. You never get around to it.

There's four minutes left, you don't have enough time to pray.

So some weeks start with prayer may take most of

the meeting. But what better way to meet than to

pray for each other? Pray for each other's growth. So

make it a priority. And then secondly, I want to

encourage you, when you pray with other people, to do

it a little bit differently than we usually do. Pray conversationally.

If you've been in any group that prays, you know

we usually do it like this. This person talks for

about three or four minutes and says what they want

to say. Then the next person in the circle talks

for three or four minutes says what they want to say.

We pray like this, don't we? Then the next person

in the next person, We.

Don't talk like that.

I mean, if you're having a conversation, this person says

a sentence, This person says a sentence, This person interrupts,

this person says, oh yeah, I was thinking about that too.

Try praying like that. God's there in the room. You

can talk to them like a person. So try praying

like that. Somebody you are look at me like that's

not going to work for our group and never going

to work. Sure it'll work. Just do it to do

something different. And here's the way to make it work.

Make sure at the beginning you say, okay, nobody can

pray more than a sentence at a time, just one sentence.

If they pray more than a sentence, kick them in

an affirming way, but kick them all right, And you

pray one sentence, and you pray about one thing for

a while. You all pray together. This will help some

of you who have never prayed with other people.

You can just say.

Yeah, me too, God on that one, and that'll help

you to pray also. And everybody can get together and

pray together for one another's spiritual growth. So make it

a priority and pray conversationally, and you'll see some incredible

things happen in your group as you pray together.

Now, look at the verse on the back of your outline.

Romans fifteen to five says this, may God develop maturity

in you so that you all get along with each

other as well as Jesus gets along with us. Notice

that the test of maturity is relationships, not content or knowledge,

but relationships. Knowledge is important, but it says that ultimately,

maturity is the ability to get along with it people.

If you have a hard time getting along with other people,

it says one thing, guess what you are immature.

You're listening to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. Rick will be

back in just a moment with the rest of today's lesson.

You can sign up for Pastor Rick's free email devotional

at pastorick dot com. That's pastorick dot com.

What does it take to become more loving, live more peacefully,

develop patience, have self control? Pastor Rick says, throughout all

the years he's been a pastor, the number one question

he's been asked is why can't I change? People want

to change, but they're stuck. Maybe you feel that way too.

In his book God's Power to Change Your Life, Rick

lays the groundwork for personal transformation, then offers biblical insights

and simple steps for ten areas of growth that can

take you from where you are to where you want

to be. This book connects you with the power to

actually make the changes you long to make, and as

you apply the truth of God's word by the power

of His spirit. Your life will change. You'll move out

of your rid and get on track with God's wonderful

purposes for your life. And today, when you give a

gift to Daily Hope to help take the hope of

Jesus to people everywhere, we'll send you a copy of

God's Power to change your life. Just go to Pastorrick

dot com right now to get your copy, or you

can call eight hundred at six hundred five zero zero four.

That's Pastorick dot com. Or call eight hundred at six

hundred five zero zero four and be sure to let

us know which station you heard us on. Thank you

so much for your support. There's only two days left

to get this great resource, so don't wait.

And now here's Pastor Rick Warren with the second half

of today lesson.

If you have a hard time getting along with other people,

It says one thing.

Guess what you are immature If.

You're always worried about other people, if you're always threatened

by other people, if you can't get along with other people,

you have an immaturity problem and you need to grow up.

God says, as he develops maturity in us, we get

along with each other.

Just as Jesus gets along with us.

Now, that's why we're doing forty days of community. That's

why we're doing small groups. The purpose is to learn

to get along with each other. The purpose is to

learn to build relationships, learning how to love. Now, there

is a secret ingredient that builds community faster than anything else,

and it is this number three. By admitting our mistakes.

By admitting our mistakes, we build community, intimacy, relationships faster

than any other way. Ephesians four twenty five says this,

Tell each other the truth, because we all belong to

each other. Tell the truth about yourself, your fears, your doubts,

your hang ups.

Now, let me see.

Confession does not mean just confessing your deep dark sense.

Confession just means admitting what's going on in your life.

You know, I'm having some doubts today, you admit. That's confession.

You know I'm worried about such a that's a confession.

You know I'm feeling a little lonely today, that's a confession.

You know I'm having a hard time forgiving that person.

That's a confession.

You know, I just don't know why, but I feel depressed,

I feel discouraged, today.

That is a confession.

And when you were honest about what's going on in

your life and you're not blaming anybody else for it,

it draws you closer to them and those closer to you. Now,

why in the world would anybody do that? Why would

anybody risk honesty? Because it's worth the risk. God says,

there are four benefits of being honest about our mistakes,

about our feelings, our faults, our fatigue, our failures, our fears.

There are four benefits, and you only get these benefits

when you're honest with one other person or a group.

Here they are number one emotional healing. Emotional healing comes

from being honest with other people about what's going on

in your life. James five point sixteen says this, admit

your faults. Read it with me to one another circle that.

Notice it doesn't say admit him to the priest. It

doesn't say admit him to a pastor. It doesn't say

admit him to God. It doesn't say admit them to

a counselor. It says, admit them.

To each other. And that's your group. Pray for each other.

Sow that.

Read it with me. You may be healed now everybody

look up here because this is extremely important. There is

a big difference between forgiveness and emotional healing. They are

not the same. They are not forgiveness. If you need

forgiveness for something in your life, all you need to

do is confess it to God. You don't have to

tell anybody else. Confess it to God and you are forgiven.

But a lot of people, after they've confessed to God,

they still feel guilty, they still feel hung up, they

still can't let it go, they still feel emotionally scarred.

Why they haven't done this part telling it to somebody else.

God has wired the universe in such a way that

emotional healing comes not from telling God he already knows it,

but from telling somebody else who doesn't know it. That's

where emotional healing comes from. Now I'm not making this up.

This is what God says. Confess your faults to one another,

not to God, to one another, and you will be healed.

You want forgiveness, you confess it to God. You want healing.

You want to let go of that pain. You want

to get it behind you. You want to stop having

to think about it. You need to tell it somebody

else that thing you've kept as a secret your entire life.

Now you don't have to tell everybody. In fact, I

don't recommend that don't tell everybody, but you need to

tell somebody, a small group of trusted individuals, or a

spiritual partner who can pray with you. God has wired

us that way that we need to tell others. The

second thing you get when you do this is a

fresh start. Not only emotional healing, but you get a

fresh start and Proverbs twenty eight thirteen, the Bible says

anyone who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful,

but if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance. Now,

this is why I love celebrate recovery so much in

our church. Seven five hundred people in our church have

gone through celebrate recovery over the p past years. And

those people, many of them, are now the leaders of

this church. Why God wants to take the worst thing

in your life, heal you of it and turn you

into a leader and a person of influence.

That's what he does.

There is nothing that has happened in your life that

God can't use for good. But you have to be

honest about it. You have to share it with somebody.

You have to get it off your chest. One of

the most helpful things you can do in your small

group is help people forgive themselves. A lot of people

have confessed to God and God has forgiven.

But they just don't feel it.

They need somebody to say, you are forgiven. Have you

admitted it to God? Yeah, then you are forgiven. Have

you confessed it yet? Then you are forgiven?

Let it go.

That's why we get together to help each other to

feel forgiven.

And sometimes you just need somebody to say that to you.

And another thing you can do in your small group

is to remind people that God loves to give a

second chance, and a third, and a fiftieth and a

three hundredth and God never ever gives up on you.

Never.

He never gives up on you, and He's not finished

with you. And he wants to use other people in

your life to take that pain, heal it, and then

turn you into a leader and a person of influence

to help others.

Here's the third thing that benefit of honesty. You get

God's power to change.

God's power to change when we admit our mistakes to others.

James four ten says this when you bow down before

the Lord. That means you humble yourself. You humble yourself

before God and you admit your dependence upon him. God

will lift you up. Notice he doesn't scold you, he

doesn't shame you, he doesn't put you down. He lifts

you up and gives you honor. How does this work?

God wants you to learn to be like him and

God is humble, and so the Bible says God resists proud.

That means when you're prideful, you're on the opposite side

of God. You're fighting God. He resists the proud, but

he gives grace to the humble. So that means this,

when I'm honest about my weaknesses, then I'm humble. When

I'm humble, I get God's grace.

This is Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. We're so happy you've

chosen to study along with us today. If you'd like

to receive hope and encouragement every day, delivered right to

your inbox, then sign up for ris free daily devotional

by going to Pastorick dot com. Right now, Rick will

be back to close out our time today. But first,

what does it take to become more loving, live more peacefully?

Develop patients have self control. Pastor Rick says, throughout all

the years he's been a pastor, the number one question

he's been asked is why can't I change? People want

to change, but there's stock and maybe you feel that

way too. In his book God's Power to Change Your Life,

Rick lays the groundwork for personal transformation, then offers biblical

insights and simple steps for ten areas of growth that

you can take from where you are to where you

want to be. This book connects you with the power

to actually make the changes you long to make. And

as you apply the truth of God's word by the

power of His Spirit, your life will change. You'll move

out of your rut and get on track with God's

wonderful purposes for your life. And today, when you give

a gift to daily hope to help take the hope

of Jesus to people everywhere, will send you Pastor Rick's

book called God's Power to Change Your Life To say thanks.

Just go to Pastorick dot com right now to get

your copy, or you can call eight hundred, six hundred

five thousand and four. There's only two days left to

get this great resource, so don't wait. That's Pastorick dot

com or eight hundred six hundred five thousand and four,

and be sure to let us know which station you

hurt us on. Thanks so much for your support. Here's

Pastor Rick with a word of encouragement.

Now this week, I want to encourage those of you

who are in a small group to spend a little

bit of time talking about how you cannot just study

together and fellowship together and worship together, but how you

could serve together, find a project that will take you

to a deeper level of fellowship by serving together. Thanks

for listening today. You know I love you, I care

for you, and I'm praying for you. And join me

next time as we continue to look into God's word

for our daily hope.

This program is sponsored by Daily Hope Ministries and your

generous financial support