Rick Warren - Fighting for an Awesome Marriage—Part One

Welcome to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, the Bible teaching ministry

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You every day.

Well, today we're starting a series called Awesome Relationships. In

this series, Rick warrens Shure's practical ways to help you

take your relationship with family, friends, co workers, and even

God from ordinary to extraordinary. This is a series you

won't want to miss. Hey, let's jump right in with

part one of a message called fighting for an Awesome Marriage.

This weekend, I want us look at fighting for an

Awesome Marriage. Take out your notes and look at the

first of the top. Paul says this. Now, Paul was

not married. Paul was a single adult, and Saint Paul

says this Onet Corinthian seven to seven. We're all given

different gifts. God gives the gift of marriage to some,

and to others he gives the gift of singleness. So

not everybody's supposed to be married. God says in his

Word that we get different gifts from him. Some he

gives the gift of marriage, and some he gives the

gift of singleness. Old translations call it the gift of celibacy.

But everybody knows what it is it's singleness. Now, how

do you know if you have the gift of singleness?

I know you're waiting with baited breath for this. And

here's the way. If you have any desire to get

married someday, you don't have this gift. That's the telltale sign. Okay,

if you say, you know, really, i'd like to be

married someday, I'd like to have a wife, I'd like

to have a husband, then you don't have the gift

of singleness. The gift of singleness, when God gives it,

means I'm perfectly happy to live the rest of my

life not married. That's the gift a single Now, whether

you are have never been married, or you're divorced, or

you're separated, or you're widowed, or you are currently married,

regardless of what state you're in, the next verse applies

to all of us. Look at this verse Hebrews thirteen

to four. Marriage should be honored. Read it with me

by everyone. Circle that by everyone. So regardless of whether

I ever marry or not, or whether I've been married

in the past and I'm not now, I am to

honor marriage. The Bible says, by God everyone is to

give honor to marriage. Now, sadly, marriage is no longer

honored by everyone in our society. In fact, just the

exact opposite. Today, marriage is dismissed as irrelevant by many people,

as an archaic They who needs to get married? That's

something somebody made it in another generation or in another culture,

a man made lifestyle choice. And really it's dismissed. Nobody

needs to getting married today. It's demeaned by many people.

Marriages demean as a career buster. You're getting married, well,

there goes your career. It's down the pike, it's down

the tube. Marriage is delayed. People are delaying marriage more

and more, many times for the wrong reasons. Now they're

good reasons for delaying marriage, but they're also selfish reasons

for delaying marriage. Marriage is being redefined. It's being ridiculed.

It's being demeaned, it's being denounced, it's being discouraged. Marriage

is disrespected. We don't live in a culture where marriage

is honored by everyone anymore, and even Christians fall for

this trap. And part of the problem is nobody knows

the basics of marriage anymore. Fifty years ago, if I

were to go out on the street, say tell me

the purposes of marriage. They could give you the five

or six purposes of marriage. Nobody knows these today, and

so marriage is treated like just one more little lifestyle choice.

It is not. It's far more important than you realize,

whether you ever get married yourself or not, and it's

absolutely essential. God gave it to us marriage for six reasons.

Most people don't know why marriage matters. In fact, most

people either a have an incredibly unrealistic view of marriage,

which there's no way anybody could measure up to it.

Or two they're just flat out wrong about the meaning

and the purpose and the design of marriage. Most people

don't get it right now, The reality is marriage won't

solve all your problems. Let me correct that. Marriage won't

solve any of your problems. Anybody married, want to give

a testimony right now? Okay? Now, a lot of people

think marriage creates problems. I didn't have the problems until

I got married. Oh no, no, no, that's wrong too.

Marriage doesn't solve your problems. Marriage doesn't create your problems.

Marriage reveals problems. It reveals problems. If I'm cranky, my

marriage is gonna reveal it. If I'm a perfectionist, my

marriage is gonna reveal it. If I'm fearful and insecure

and a worry what my marriage is going to reveal it.

If I'm bitter and angry and controlling and manipulative, my

marriage is gonna reveal it. Marriage don't create problems. Marriage

reveal them. They just show up in marriages like in

no other relationship. I've got friends who've gone through multiple relationships,

and some have been in multiple marriages, and sometimes I'm

counseling somebody else I don't understand. You know, I've been

married multiple times that my relationships just suck, And I

want to say, well, what do you think is the

common denominator you are? You know what the problem with

my marriage is me? You know what the problem with

your marriage is you? And so we bring problems into marriage,

and marriage simply magnifies what's already a problem that maybe

it's masked when I'm living as a single adult. So

marriage isn't going to solve all your problems. It reveals them.

Marriage will not turn your life into a picnic. Marriage

will not balance the harmonic convergence of the universe. There

are a lot of things marriage can't do, but it

does have a God designed function. It does have a

God designed form, and it is far more important. Marriage

is far more important than you realize. Now I can't

go into these six reasons but in detail, but I

want you to just list these before we get into

how do you fight for an awesome Marria. I want

you to know the six reasons why marriage matters, this

brief overview, because you need to be able to explain

it to other people, because nobody around you, nobody in culture,

nobody you know getting married or getting divorced, knows all

six of these. They just don't think about them. So

let's look why God designed marriage number one. Write these down. First,

God created marriage for the connection of men and women.

God created marriage for the connection of men and women.

Now I want to show you a verse up on

the screen in just second. First Corinthians eleven eleven says

this on the screen. In God's plan, men and women

need each other. Do you know how radical a statement

that is? Today a lot of people don't believe that.

There are a lot of people that women they don't

need men? Why would I need a man? And a

lot of men say why would I need a woman?

Well you do, and the God who designed you creative,

whether you ever get married or not. If you're a woman,

you need men in your life. If you're a man,

you need women in your life. Why. Because nobody holds

the full image of God. Women get part of it,

Men get part of it, and we need each other.

God wired it this way. God thought up gender, God

thought up sex. What a God? And God thought up marriage.

He thought it all up. It was his idea. It

wasn't some man made construct. Now the Bible goes back

to the very beginning, in the creation of the first

couple and the first marriage. And in Genesis chapter two,

the Bible says, God creates Adam, and he doesn't make

Eve yet. Why did God make man and then woman

a little bit later? Why didn't you make up both

the same time, because obviously he had every attention. I

think he did it for Adam's benefit. I think Adam,

You wanted Adam to realize how much he needed women

in his life. Now, the Bible says this in Genesis

to eighteen. It is not good. This is God talking.

It is not good for the man that's Adam to

be alone. I will make a companion who is right

for him. I'll make a companion who is right for him.

I will make. Now notice the first thing you need

to realize is that marriage gender, sex, men and women,

all the differences. This is a God given thing and

God intended marriage. One of the purposes of marriage is

as an antidote to loneliness. Look at the next verse.

He says there it is not good for men to

be alone. Now, there are many, he says, I'm going

to make a companion, And many companions are important in life.

You need companions in all your areas, but there's nothing

like the companionship of the marriage. You can talk to

any married couple and they will tell you, Yes, there

are many other kinds of relationships, and they're all good

in life, but nothing at all compares to the companionship

of a man and a woman who are committed to

each other for the rest of their lives. There's no

other relationship that could possibly compare. That has then a

relational class by itself, and God calls that marriage. Now

here's what Jesus had to say about it, Mark ten.

God's plan has been seen from the beginning of creation

when He made us male and female. God made males,

God made females, and God shows what He wanted you

to be. This explains why a man leaves his father

and mother and is joined to his wife, and the

two are united as one body. Now since they are

no longer two but one, God sees a married couple

as one should separate them, for God has joined them together. Now,

there's a very important passage of scripture, and I can

spend a lot of time on it. Let me just

make three points out it. That passage says three things.

Number One, marriage is God's plan. It's not a human plan.

It's not a human idea. It's not a tradition that

we could just throw out. God invented marriage, when he

invented you, when he invented me, when he invented humanity.

Marriage is God's plan. Second thing that verse says is

that marriage is between a man and a woman. A

lot of other relationships but those aren't marriage. Marriage is

between a man and a woman and their body parts

fit together, and they fit together for a purpose the

creation of everybody else. And the third thing it says

is marriage is to be permanent. It says what God

joins together. God joins a couple in marriage, no one,

no one else should separate it's meant to be to

be Like, do you realize how radical those three statements are.

That marriage is God's idea and plan, that marriage is

for a man and a woman, and that marriage is

to be permanent. Nobody believes that anymore. But it's still

the truth. It's still the truth. It's still the way

God designed marriage. And just because we live in the

real not necessarily the ideal, doesn't mean we get to

say the ideal doesn't exist. It does. It does now.

As a pastor, I have done I don't know how

many thousands of weddings. I couldn't count how many weddings

I've done. One of the things I like about the

modern wedding is that people are writing their vows. Now.

I think that's good in one sense, because it's better

than just saying I do. I mean, when people write

their own vows, they tend to express more of themselves

than you get to hear their love and for the

other person, that's a good thing. But there's also a

downside of keeping people writing their own vows to and

it's this they're leaving out God. I can't tell you

how many vows I've heard that are really more like

a junior high social contract. I would love you as

long as this as the sun shines. Well, what happens

when it rains tomorrow? Okay, you get a divorce, then

I will love you because you make me feel so great. Well,

what happens when they get in the hospital and they

can't make you feel great? Do you divorce them? Then

I love you because you're so beautiful. What I hate

to tell you this, She's going to lose her beauty

and you already have. Okay, that's I love you if

I love you, If that's conditional love, that's not a

love that makes a marriage last. So a lot of

contracts today in marriage really sound like a you know,

thirty six month lease for an auto. It's like, I

love you as long as we both shall love. Really,

I love you till debt do us part or divorce

do us part. They're leaving out God. The first thing

about marriage is that God created it, and he created

it for the connection of a man and a woman

for life. Number two, God created marriage for the multiplication

of the human race, for the multiplication of the human race.

It's how we all got here. You are sitting where

you're sitting, and you were listening online where you're listening

online because a couple got together and made you, and

this was God's idea. God populated the human planet through

marriage for thousands of years. Billions of people have come

into existence because men and women got married. And God says,

this is part of my plan. Now, let me give

you a little background on this. The Bible says that

God is love. We've talked about this many times. That's

his character, it's his nature. The only reason there's love

in the universe is because God is love. If God

was not a loving God, you would not have any

love in your life. There would be no love in

the universe. The only reason you are able to love

is because you, as a man or woman, were created

in God's image. Squirrels don't love because they're not made

in God's image. Worms don't love because they're not made

in God's image. Ants don't love because they're not made

in God's image. But men and women have the capacity

to love because we're made in God's image. And God said,

I want to love, and I want to express my love.

And the Bible says everything that God has made, he

made it simply in order to love it. You were

made in order for God to love you. That's why

you exist. If God didn't want to love you, you

wouldn't exist. In the universe. God made to love it.

And the Bible says that God created the universe because

he wanted a family to love. So he created the

universe so he could create the human race, so he

could love us, knowing that some of us would choose

to love him back, and then we would live with

him forever and ever and ever in his eternal family

in heaven. Now think about this. God chose everybody who's

going to be in heaven to come into existence through

marriage and sex. That's the way he chose. Nobody would

be in heaven if God hadn't created marriage, because everybody's

come into existence through the tool that he designed. Now,

let me show you some verses. Genesis one twenty seven

says this, For God created people in his own image.

He patterned them after himself, creating both male and female

with his image. Then, so not every males don't have

on the image of God. Females, we both get parts

of God's image. Then God blessed them and commanded them.

Now here's the very first command God gives to the

human race. I want you to read it aloud with

great GUSTO. Ready, here we go. God commanded them be

fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. Wow. So God's

first command to the human races get married and have sex. That,

by the way, friends, is the only command of God

the human race has been able to keep. And we've

done a pretty good job at that one. They're about

seven billion of us on the planet because your parents

and their parents, and their parents and their parents and

their parents were fruitful and multiplied and fill the land,

fill the world. So we're all here. The point is

that God says one of the purposes of marriage is

for the multiplication of the human race. It's not the

only purpose, but it's a big one. Look at this

next verse Malachi two fifteen. I love this in the

message paraphrase, God, not you made marriage. His spirit inhabits

even the smallest details of marriage. And why does he

eat God? What does God want from marriage? He's real clear,

godly children from your union. Because if people don't have kids,

those kids aren't going to be born. They can't get

into heaven. He wants godly children from a union. So

guard the spirit of marriage. Within you. Now, this is

not an indictment for a childless couple who don't have kids.

There are couples who want kids and for whatever reason

cannot have them or have been unable to have them.

And if you can't, if you're married, you can't have kids.

God is not disappointed in you. That's not what this

voice versus saying. What it is saying is that we're

all alive because some couple got together and for thousands

of years God has used marriage to populate heaven.

Wow. Some powerful words from Pastor Rick today. And now

this is really one of my favorite parts of the broadcast.

This is letters from our listeners, and now here's Rick.

Let me ask you a very personal question. Are you

struggling in one of your personal relationships? If you are,

I want you to listen to what Joe writes. He

just sent this note to me. He's a pastor Rick.

Before my wife and I began listening to Daily Hope together,

we'd argue our faith. There'd be days that I'd be

angry with my wife, thinking that she wasn't moving as

fast as her walk as I thought she should be moving.

And God really challenged me to trust him in helping

her grow by changing me first. Got it? You got it, Joe?

He says, He broke my heart and my attitude by

allowing me to figure out what I needed to do

to stop arguing with her. And then he added, God

also challenged me by showing me how much He believed

in me through my wife. When I'd get angry, she'd

show me grace and patience. These are the very things

that I lacked, but I didn't see it until after

we started listening to Daily Hope on a regular basis.

We've since made it a point to share this time

in God's word and to continue to grow in our

love for Jesus and each other. Isn't it amazing what

God can do even in the most difficult to circumstances,

and even in relationships that seemed beyond repair. I want

you to notice that in Joe's story, God started the

transformation with Joe. Joe wanted to change his wife, and

Joe wanted God to change his wife, but God wanted

Joe to change first in his own life. That's the

way God works. I'm so glad that God is using

Daily Hope to change lives, and if He's changed your life,

would you tell me about it? Please just write me

email me Rick at Pastorrick dot com. Please do that today.

Just email me a note that says, here's what's happening

in my life. Here's what I need you to pray about.

Here's something I'm rejoicing with. If you've got something to

share it, let me know about it. Write me Rick

at Pastororrick dot com. And thanks for listening today and

all this week. Let's let God transform our lives to

his word.

Be sure to join us next time as we look

into God's word for our daily hope. This program is

sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily Hope and your generous financial

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