Rick Warren - Fighting for an Awesome Marriage—Part Two

Hello everyone, and welcome to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, the

Bible teaching ministry that's here to encourage and inspire you

every day. And today we're continuing our series called Awesome Relationships.

In it, Rick Warren shares practical ways to help you

take your relationships with family, friends, co workers, and even

God from ordinary to extraordinary. And this is a series

you don't want to miss. Okay, Now here's part two

of a message called Fighting for an Awesome Marriage.

The third reason God created marriage for the connection of

men and women, for the multiplication of human race. Third,

for the protection of children. God created God invented marriage

for the protection of children. We all know that kids

grow better, healthier, stronger when they grow up in a

stable family, when they grow up in a marriage with

a mom and a dad. Now, why did God create

marriage for the protection of children? Because when you were born,

you were born completely helpless.

You could not do anything.

You couldn't feed yourself, you couldn't dress yourself, you couldn't

change your diaper, you couldn't blow your nose, shoot, you

couldn't even turn over on your back. When you first started.

You were literally totally helpless.

God knew that.

Human children needed a safe environment, and you were going

to need somebody to feed you and dress you and

nurture you. You were going to need somebody to protect you,

to guide you, to train you, to care for you,

and all these things. Now, I asked my researchers to

go out and research all of the national and international

studies on the effect of marriage or the lack of

a marriage on children, and I ask them to find

me all those studies. Here they are. These are not

Christian studies. These are studies by Harvard University and the

United States government and the National Institute of Health.

That's about one hundred and fifty different studies. I want

to read to you some of the statistics.

Studies have shown that if children grow up without two parents,

without a mom and dad, there's.

An increased risk that they are going to a fail

in school.

Kids without two parents are more likely to not graduate

from college. Kids without two parents are more likely to

be involved in substance or alcohol abuse. They're more likely

to experience distress, depression, and the risk of suicide. They're

more likely to do jail time. They're more likely to

live their entire lives in poverty, and they're more likely

to increase the risk that they themselves will divorce or

will bear children outside of marriage. On the other hand,

children who live with their own two parents growing up

statistically of ruth enjoy better physical health than children living

in any other family form.

Now I didn't say.

This is just what one hundred and fifty or so

studies have shown.

How about women?

Studies show that women who marry and stay married have

lower rates of depression than either single women or mothers

cohabitating with a guy that they're not married to. Women

who marry and stay married have a lower risk of

being a victim of a crime have a lower risk

of violence in their life. Women who marry and stay

married have a higher net work than those who are

living with.

A man they're not married too. Is that interesting? How

about men?

Studies have shown that men who marry and stay married

earn more money than single men with similar education, job histories,

and they live Men who marry and stay married live

longer than single men. Men who marry and stay married

a mass more net worth than those who live with

a woman and not being married to them, and men

who married and stay married have fewer injuries and illnesses.

What's it saying. It's just seeing real, something real simple.

When you do it God's way, it works out better

in your life. Now, every single study done has proven

that kids develop best with a mom and a dad.

Now we're in a broken planet, broken worce. Not everything

works right. We know that, but that doesn't mean that

we say the ideal isn't real. It is, and the

statistics bear it out. Children survive and thrive in families,

not in institutions.

That's why it's saddle back.

We don't believe in in orphanages. We don't fund orphanages,

we don't build orphanages.

We don't believe in orphanages.

Why because no kid deserves to grow up in an institution.

They deserve to grow up in a family. It'd be more.

Important to help finance a family to take that child in.

Yeah, you're in clap for that.

And children's instrests are best perfected in an intact family.

Lo does this verse Proverbs fourteen twenty six. Those who

obey and respect the Lord, in other words, do life

the way God says to do it. Those who obey

and respect the Lord have a secure fortress. Their children

have a place of refuge and security. That's what every

child needs, growing up a place of refuge and security

and not worrying his dad going to walk out, his

mom going to walk out, or whatever. Now you know,

in the past, used to hear about couples they say, oh,

they stayed together for the sake of the kids. And

for many generations when people stayed together for the sake

of the kids, that was considered an honor, a compliment.

They're unselfish, they're mature. They stayed together for the sake

of the kids. Today people laugh at that statement, staying

together for the sake of kise, what are you talking about?

You got to do what's best for you? Really do?

You always have to do what's best for you. That's

called narcissism. Can you sometimes do something that's maybe best

for somebody else. Can you sometimes do something that's best

for somebody for the sake of someone who's more vulnerable

than you are. That's called maturity, that's called unselfishness, that's

called love.

Today, on our narcissistic.

Culture, we judge everything by I've got to do what's

best for me.

No, you don't.

In fact, you'll never be happy trying to always do

what's best for you, you'll be a selfish little claude.

Bitter claude. That's a pastor's cuss word. Number four. Okay.

God created marriage.

For the connection of men and women, for the multiplication

human race.

It's how we all got here. For the protection of children.

Number four, This is a big one.

God created marriage for the perfection of our character. God

created marriage for the perfection of our character. It is

in relationships that we learn to be unselfish, we learn

to be loving. And no relationship has greater impact on

your life than marriage.

If you get married.

Now another one of the facts about when you were born,

not only were you helpless, you were completely self centered.

Nothing on the planet Earth is more self centered than

a new baby. A baby does not even have the

capacity to think about anyone else.

All it can think about is itself.

I'm too hot, I'm too cold, I'm hungry, I just pooped,

I need to be cleaned up.

Or whatever. The first word a baby learns is.

Ah, and it's all about me. As a baby, maturity

and the purpose of life is to grow up and

realize it's not all about you. In fact, that real

happiness comes in giving your life away and.

Being unselfish, and being serving and being loving.

And so the whole goal of your life is to

grow from your total self centered self as a baby

to being an unselfish adult. Do you know some adults

who are still selfish babies?

Yes, you do. Don't look at them, but you know

who they are. Now.

This is called maturity. Life is the laboratory of learning

how to love. Why is love the most important thing

in life? Because God is love and God wants you

to become like him. He wants you to learn how

to love, and we learn to love and learn to

be unselfish. Now, the Bible says this in Proverbs eighteen one.

It is selfish and it is stupid to think only

of yourself.

And so how do I get out of that?

Well, marriage is a lifelong course in learning to be unselfish,

because once you get married, I can no longer think

about me. I got to think about we. I can't

think about just me and myself and hones. How many

of you as who are married, had to learn pretty

quickly that once you got married, you couldn't always do

whatever you wanted to do.

The rest of your liars.

Because you don't get to do everything you want to do.

Once you get married, you have to learn to compromise.

You have to learn to think of the other person,

and marriage is the laboratory.

For learning how to love.

Now, listen, God wants to make you like Jesus Christ.

It's the number one goal in his life. He wants

you to grow up. He wants to build character. You're

not taking your car, your career, your clothes to heaven.

You are taking your character. So the most important thing

you can do in life is build your character. The

number one tool that God uses in your life to

build christ like character.

If you are married, is your spouse.

Oh no, yep, because every day you get hundreds of

opportunities to not think about you. You get opportunities to

think of the other person, to care about them. You say,

but my spouse, my husband, my wife is not even

a Christian. They're not a follower of Jesus, they're not

a believer. Doesn't matter, they don't have to be saved.

There's still God's number one tool to make you like

Christ as they're closest to you and they have that

most impact.

I want you to write this down in your outline.

The number one purpose of marriage is to make me holy,

not happy. That is so counterculture, but it's the true.

Now here's the interesting thing. Once you become holy, that's

how you get happiness. Being holy makes you happy. But

God's purpose in your life is to make you holy,

not happy. And that's the purpose of God's marriage for

your life is that you become more loving, more giving,

more serving, more sharing, more mature, more unselfish. And as

you become that, guess what you get more happiness. You'll

never be happy if you make it the goal of

your life. Happiness is elusive as a goal. It's never

meant to be a goal. It's like a butterfly. You're

always reaching for it and you never get it. When

you start caring about other people rather than your happiness,

you're going to get happy, just the way God wired

the universe. So God wants us to learn how to

love in marriage. Romans twelve says this love sincerely, hold

on to what is good, be devoted to each other

like a loving family.

Excel in showing respect for each other.

Do you do that in your marriage? Do you have

a competition of who can show the most respect? I'm

gonna beat you to dan being more respectful to you.

I'm going to beat you todaan being more loving, excel

in showing respect for each other. You know, before I

got married so many years ago, I really thought I

knew how.

To love a woman. I knew nothing about love. Nothing.

Now, after thirty nine years of marriage, I know that

love washes the dishes.

I know that love takes out the garbage shoot when

you're sick. Love changes the bedpan.

And out of that kind of love comes a connection

and a companionship that gives you the strength and the

stability to handle enormous amounts of stress.

When you know someone that well and you're just committed

to each other. Because of that reason. Number five.

God made marriage for the connection of men and women,

the multiplication human race, protection of children, the perfection of

our characters. God created marriage for the construction of society.

Marriage is the fundamental building block of every community, church, state, nation, society,

and culture.

If you know anything.

About history, you know that where marriages are strong, cultures

and nations are strong, empires are strong. You know that

wherever marriages and families are weak, cultures nations are in decline.

And we know that this that when marriages are devalued.

The more a nation is in decline, it's real obvious

what direction our nation is headed right now.

America is not getting better, it's not getting stronger. It's

going the other direction.

Why because we don't value marriage and family anymore. We

value it's all about me. I got to do what's

best for me. We've made individualism an idol. So this

for the construction of society. Proverbs fourteen thirty four says,

this righteousness that means doing it God's way lifts up

a nation. But sin not doing it God's way, brings

disgrace to any society. Number six, This is the most

important reason of all. And many of you have never

ever even heard this reason for marriage. But it's the primary,

the deepest, and the most or found reason that God

created marriage between a man and a woman, and the

unity of sex and all of that that involves. God

created marriage for the reflection of our union with Christ,

for the reflection of our union with Christ.

It is Marriage is a metaphor, it is a symbol.

It's a walking, living object lesson of how much God

loves us and how we are to be in relationship

with him. Marriage is a model of a profound spiritual truth.

I said, it's a metaphor of showing us how we're

to relate to God. Now let me show you one

of the deepest passages in scripture, and Paul is actually

talking about the church in Christ, but he uses marriage

as a metaphor.

They're on your outline.

Ephesians chapter five says this, Husbands, love your wives as Christ.

Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.

How did Christ love the church? He sacrifices life. He

died for the church. He says, Husbands, that's the way

you're to love your wife. You're to die for your wife.

That's the kind of love your dad, sacrificial love, where

her needs are so before yours that you sacrifice your life. Husbands,

love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and

gave himself up for her. He Christ died so that

he could give the Church to himself as a bride

in all her beauty. In the same way, husbands should

love their wives as they love their own bodies. No

one ever hates his own body, but he feeds it,

he takes care of it, and that is what Christ

does for his church.

His body. See, the church is a bride in church

is a body.

Now, the scripture says, and he's quoting the verse in

Genesis we just looked at and the scripture says, a

man is united with his wife and the two become

one body. This is a profound mystery. But I'm talking

about Christ and the Church. Wait, wait a minute, Paul,

I thought you're talking about Mary's here. Husband's no, he says, Yeah,

I know, I'm used in marriage. But it's a metaphor

of our spiritual union with Christ and Christ and his

love for his family, his body, his bride, the Christ,

the Church. So he says, because marriage is a metaphor

of Christ and the Church.

So each husband.

Must love his wife as much as he loves himself,

as he loves himself. And it says each wife must

respect her husband. Now that passage is so deep, I'm

gonna have to take a whole other message sometime and

explain it in detail. But let me just say it

this way. This is the most profound meaning of marriage.

There's some benefits of marriage that are obvious and quantifiable,

like these, what it does to kids, what it does

to women, what it does to men, the benefits of

an intact marriage for life are incontrovertible, irrefutable. And there

are a lot of benefits to marriage that you can

just look at, you know, empirically judging the scientific data.

But this one, the most profound meaning of marriage is

is not as easy to grasp. It's harder to understand

and appreciate how marriage reflects our union with Christ and

our relationship Tim now listen. No other real relationship on

planet Earth. None, none, including parent child relationship.

No other relationship can.

Adequately illustrate our union with Christ the way a marriage

between a man and a woman does. This is the

strongest reason, this number six, why marriage matters. This is

the strongest reason why marriage cannot be redefined. This is

the strongest reason why it must be protected at all costs.

Because we are the body of Christ. We are the

bright of Christ in union with Christ, and marriage is

that metaphor?

Thanks so much, Rick, what a great message today. Hey,

if you've been listening to the broadcast for a while,

well you know that Rick is always saying that God

wants your relationship to be more than just fair, average, good,

or even great. He wants your relationships to be awesome,

life giving, filled with joy and purpose, and that's why

he created the Awesome Relationships Bible Study. Through this four

session video based Bible study with workbook, you'll discover the

tools you need to build an awesome marriage and family,

awesome friendships, and most importantly, an awesome relationship with God.

This resource is perfect for individual or group study. Be

sure to request Pastor Rick's Awesome Relationships Video based Bible Study.

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