Rick Warren - Offering Grace—Part One

Hi, this is Rick Warren, Bible teacher the Daily Hope Broadcast.

Did you know that because of Easter, your past can

be forgiven, you get a purpose for living, and you

can have a home in heaven. That's good news. Where

else can you get that kind of news? Nowhere else?

And did you know that at Easter, studies have shown

people are more open to an invitation to go to

church than at any other time of the year. Don't

go to church by yourself, but bring somebody who doesn't

know Jesus Christ, a family member, a friend, a coworker,

a neighbor, a relative. And if you bring them to

that church service and they come to know Christ, You're

going to be making a friend for eternity. It'll be

the most important investment you can ever make in their lives.

And by the way, if they come to Christ, would

you let me know about it. I'd love to hear

that story that you brought somebody to Easter and they

found Jesus. You can write to me Rick at Pastorrick

dot com. That's rickat Pastorrick dot com. I would love

to hear from you. God bless you and happy Easter.

You know, none of us can earn our way into

heaven because eternal life is a free gift when you

accept Jesus as the Lord of your life. Hey, everybody,

this is Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. And today Rick Warren

continues a series called Good News about Grace. You can't

truly understand the Christian life until you understand grace. It's

at the heart of your faith and your relationship with God.

And in this series you're going to discover how not

to only understand grace, but how to experience it and

the joy that it brings. And now here's part one

of a message called Offering Grace.

Today, I want us to look at offering grace because

the Bible says that God didn't just intend for you

to receive it.

He wants you to pass it on.

If you have been blessed by God, he wants you

to bless others. If you have been cared for by

God wants you to care for others. If you've been

forgiven by God, he wants you to forgive others. Jesus

said it like this, they're on the top of your outline.

In Matthew ten, verse eight, he says, give as freely

as you have received whatever you've been given by God,

you are to offer to others. Now this morning, I

want us to think in particular about forgiveness, because we've

received that more than anything else.

How do we give forgiveness to other people? Now?

We live in a society today where this theme of

forgiveness is frequently in the headlines. There's a lot of

shoddy thinking today about forgiveness. There are a lot of myths,

There are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to forgiveness.

Some people water it down. In fact, in our society

we're seeing an epidemic of this. It's cheap grace, it's

an abuse of grace, and it's making a forgiveness apply

to anything and everything so much that forgiveness means nothing.

It's almost as if we're afraid that somebody somewhere might

feel guilty for one second, so we just go around saying, well,

everybody's forgiven all the time, anywhere and everywhere. So today

I want us to look at what is really forgiveness.

What is it?

Before we do that, I want us to take a

little test. So if you'll take out your outline here,

here's a little quiz that I'd like for you to

look at five questions right or wrong, true or false.

This is not a thing you're going to be graded on.

And if you get the wrong answer, I gave you

permission to cross out yours and put in the right answer.

Nobody's going to look at your little quiz. So you

just write down true or false what you believe about

these statements, and don't say him aloud because you might

be embarrassed. Number one, A person should not be forgiven

until he asks for it. Now, I want you to

circle true or false what you believe about that. A

person should not be forgiven until he asks for it,

true or false. Number two, Forgiveness includes minimizing the offense

and minimizing the pain caused.

True or false.

Forgiveness includes minimizing the offense and the pain cause. Number three,

forgiveness includes restoring trust and reuniting a relationship. Restoring trust

and reuniting a relationship true or false?

Is that a part of forgiveness?

Number four, you haven't really forgiven until you've forgotten the offense.

True or false.

You haven't really forgiven until you've forgotten the offense. And

then number five, when I see someone else hurt, it

is my duty to forgive that offender. I see someone

else hurt, it's my duty to forgive that offender.

True or false.

Now, if you were to take the word of God,

and you were to particularly read through the Gospels and

to read what Jesus said about forgiveness, you would come

to the conclusion that all five of those statements are false.

All five of them are false. Now, do I have

your attention. We're going to look today in what forgiveness

really is. But before we can look at that, we

need to look at what it isn't. And the Bible

says that there are five things that forgiveness is not.

Would you write these down? Number one, forgiveness is not conditional.

It's not conditional, in other words, based on some kind

of condition. In fact, the Bible says the exact opposite.

The Bible says that real forgiveness, jenuine forgiveness is unconditional.

It is not something you earn. It is not something

you deserve. It is not something you buy or bargain for.

It is not something that you get as part of

a bargain if you promise to never do it again.

It is unconditioned. When you tell a person I will

forgive you. If that's not forgiveness, you're bargaining. You're not forgiving,

you're bargaining. Because genuine forgiveness is unconditional. It's offered even

if it's not asked for. When Jesus hung on the

cross and he said he prayed Father, forgive them, for

they know not what they do, at that point, nobody

had asked for the forgiveness. Certainly nobody deserved it. Nobody

had bargained or bartered for it. It was an unconditional

offer of pardon, Father, forgive them, for they know not

what they do. Genuine forgiveness is unconditional. Number two, it

isn't minimizing the seriousness of the offense. Real forgiveness is

not minimizing the seriousness of the offense. In other words,

it's not saying, well, you know, it's no big deal,

it really didn't hurt don't worry about it. It didn't

hurt me that bad. Because the truth is, if it's

worth forgiving, it did hurt you, It did cause pain,

and you don't need to minimize it because that's not

a part of forgiveness. Forgiveness is saying yes, it did hurt, Yes,

it did cause pain in my life, but I'm gonna

let you go. I'm not gonna hold it against you.

Yesterday in the paper there was a story of a

man who killed both his father, his mother, and his brother. Now,

if I were to go to that man and I say,

I'd proclaim you forgiven. It's no big deal. It's not

a big issue. It wasn't such a bad thing, and

I minimize it. That is not forgiveness. That's insanity. It

was a big deal, and so forgiving is not test

saying oh, it didn't really hurt when it did, or

oh it's no big deal when it was a big deal.

Now you need to understand there's a difference between being

wronged and being wounded. Wounds are unin intentional. Wrongs are intentional.

You're wounded all the time by people accidentally. Do people

say things that hurt you that they didn't mean to say?

Sure? Do people do things that hurt you that they

didn't mean to do. Sure? Those do not require forgiveness.

What they require is acceptance recognizing that we live in

a fallen world, imperfect environment. People going to hurt you

many times unintentionally. Forgiveness needs to be reserved for the

big stuff for the serious things, For the things that

are intentionally hurtful. People mean you harm, That's what you

reserve forgiveness for. You see, for instance, let's say you

don't like the way I dress, and and you know,

maybe you know, the way I dress offends your fashion sensibilities.

I don't need your forgiveness, I need your acceptance. On

the other hand, if someone hurts you in intentionally you've

been seriously wrong, that's what you need to forgive. Now,

whenever you minimize a wrong and you say, oh, it's

no big deal, you cheapen forgiveness.

Reserve forgiveness for the serious things.

Number three, Forgiveness is not resuming a relationship without change.

Forgiveness is not resuming a relationship without change. What I'm

saying here is that forgiveness is not the same thing

as reconciliation. They're two different issues. Forgiveness is not the

same thing as rebuilding a restoring relationship.

Look up here.

Forgiveness is instant, but trust has to be rebuilt over time.

Does that make sense? And there's a big difference between

forgiving a person and trusting a person. Forgiveness simply takes

care of the damage. It is letting the person off

the hook, but it does not guarantee that the future

relationship is going to be right. Those are other It

takes more than forgiveness for reconciliation, it takes three other things.

You might write these down.

If you want to have a restored relationship with some

first comes forgiveness. That's your part if you've been hurt,

But on their part, it takes three other things. It

takes repentance, demonstrating genuine repentance. Number two, it takes restitution.

They need to make restitution where possible and when possible.

And number three, it takes rebuilding trust. And rebuilding trust

takes time now again, in a relationship that's been harmed

or damaged, if you've been hurt, forgiveness is the part

you do, but they have to show some other things

to show that repentance and restoration has taken place. For instance,

if you have been in a relationship where you were

married to an alcoholic and abusive spouse and they really

hurt you repeatedly, over and over, and that person comes

home and says, I'm.

Sorry, Will you forgive me?

You say yes, I forgive you, because God commands you

to forgive forgiveness is instant.

But I say, now, will you let me back in

the house?

You say no, that's a different issue.

We need to have some progress here. First.

You need to get some counseling. You need to sign

up for Celebrate Recovery. You need to develop a track

record that shows there's some genuine change. Because while forgiveness

is based on grace, trust is earned. It's a big difference.

So that makes sense. If somebody offends you over and

over and over and over and repeatedly in the same

way continues.

To hurt you, you are called by God to.

Repeatedly forgive them over and over and over and over.

But you are not obligated to instantly trust them and

act as if everything's fine and they can come home

and just keep on. Things need to be keeping, you know,

going on as they have been in the past. It

isn't resuming a relationship without change. Number four, Real forgiveness isn't.

It is not forgetting what happened. See, some of you

have a hard time with this. You've been have a

hard time forgiving because you think I can never forget it,

and if I forgive them, I'll have to start the

relationship again. No, that's not true. Forgiveness is not forgetting

what happened. Now, I know you've heard this cliche because

it's very popular in America, and that is forgive and forget.

That's so sweet, that's so nice. Forgive and forget, forgive

and forget. There's only one problem with that, folks.

You can't do it. Yea, it doesn't work.

In fact, it's impossible for you to forget everything that happened.

In fact, the more painful something is, the less likely

you're going to forget it. In fact, think about the

logic of it. It is impossible to try to forget something.

Have you forgotten it? Oh, I'm trying. I'm trying to

forget it. I'm trying, trying, trying. The whole time you're trying,

what are you focusing on? What you can't forget? You

cannot forget something by trying to forget it. It doesn't

work that way. The only way you forget something is

by replacing it with something else. Now, scientists have proven

that your brain is like a giant warehouse filled with

thousands and thousands of file cabinets, and you never really

forget anything. And the more important an event is in

your life, the more likely you to remember it. Now,

you may block some things out, and trauma may cause

you to erase some recall of events, but they're there,

and as surgeons we're able to take a probe and

open up your brain and stimulate certain parts of your brain.

They can bring back the color, the memories, the smells,

and everything.

That you had.

In that instance, you don't really forget anything.

It's there.

Some of you think that that's the ultimate and Christian maturity.

When am I going to get to the point that

I'm so grown up in Christ that I forget the

painful things in my life? When am I going to

be so mature that I forget the things I feel

guilty over and the things that other people have done

to me? Well, the truth is you may never forget them.

You may never forget those things.

But there's something better than forgetting, they said, What's better

than forgetting remembering but not feeling the pain, remembering but

seeing how God worked in it anyway, Remembering and seeing

how God brought good out of bad, how you grew

in character, how it made you sensitive to the hurts

and needs of other people, how it changed the direction

at a crucial point in your life, how things that

you you have today would have not happened if it

hadn't been for that event. There's something far better than forgetting.

It's remembering and realizing the sovereign grace of God is working,

as in Romans eight twenty eight says all things.

Together for good.

That's even better because when I forget something, I don't

thank God or praise God. But when I remember something

and I remember what God has done in spite of that,

then I really thank God and I praise God. So

forgiveness is not forgetting because you probably never will forget it.

Then number five, forgiveness isn't my right. You know, we

talk so much about my rights today. I have my rights.

Forgiveness isn't my right when I wasn't the one who

was hurt. Now, this is the exact opposite of what

culture teaches, because everything in culture today says, just run

around forgiven everybody. As I said, because we're afraid somebody

might somewhere feel guilt, So let's get out rid of

the guilt as quickly as possible by just offering a

blanket forgiveness. And we offer forgiveness for things we didn't

do to people we don't even know.

Only a victim.

Only the victim can pronounce forgiveness to the person who

has offended them. If you weren't hurt, it's not your

place to proclaim the forgiveness. For instance, do you remember

the story of the fourteen year old boy who walked

into a high school prayer meeting in Paducah, Kentucky and

killed three teenage girls, shot them dead the next morning

on that campus, the girls had not been buried, their

bodies weren't even cold yet, and some students had put

up signs around the campus telling the killer, we forgive

you Mike. Now, I know those kids meant well, and

I know those kids probably thought they were doing the

Christian thing, but it wasn't their right to forgive that

man who had been offended the most. How do you

think the parents felt about that? They hadn't even worked

through their grief yet. Sure they were going to come

to forgiveness, but they hadn't even worked.

Through their own grief yet. How about the.

Younger brothers and sisters of those three teenage girls who

were killed. It wasn't their place to pardon somebody because

they weren't the one who had been sinned against. Recently,

in Washington, d CE, a leader held up a picture

Timothy McVeigh and said, I have forgiven this man, and

you need to too. The only problem was he didn't

have the right to do that because Timothy McVey had

not offended him. It was the parents and the relatives

of the people who were killed in the Oklahoma bomb

explosion that have the place to offer forgiveness to that offender.

If I were to take all all the war criminals

of World War two, all the Nazis, and line them

out and say, oh, by the way, Hitler aikman, all

you guys, you're all forgiven. I forgive you all. Is

that short circuiting anything. It's not my place to forgive

those people. It was the people who had relatives killed

in the Holocaust. If you had a daughter who was kidnapped,

raped and killed, and I went before you even had

time to grieve about it, and when the person said, oh,

by the way, you're all forgiven, somebody has short circuited

a process. You see, if anybody could just forgive anybody,

there's no reason for jails, folks, because somebody's going to say, oh,

you're all forgiven. So you don't need to serve any time.

There's a big difference. Forgiveness is not my right when

I wasn't the one hurt. See, many people don't understand

that forgiveness does not remove the consequences of sin. When

Carla fay Tucker, who had killed people with an axe,

gave her life to Christ in prison and asked Jesus

Christ to forgive her, I believe she was truly born again,

and she even asked the people to forgive her who

she had hurt through those murders. But that did not

let her out of prison. There were still consequences. When

a woman takes drugs all of her life and then

she gets pregnant and she has a baby, and that

baby is addicted to crack cocaine. The mother may say,

dear Jesus, would you please forgive me for my sins?

And she is instantly forgiven, but the baby's still a

crack addict.

Or the person who goes out and says, I'm going

to live life anyway, I want to go to bed

with anybody, want to live a totally promiscuous life. And

then they come and they find Christ and they say,

Jesus Christ would you please forgive me and cleanse me

of all my immorality instantly. They are forgiven instantly, but

they still might carry a sexually transmitted disease, or they

still might die of aides. A person who leaves his

wife and children or her husband and children and has

an affair and breaks up a marriage, and then later

comes and says, oh God, please forgive me. I know

that was stupid, it was selfish. I shouldn't have done it.

It was wrong. Please forgive me. They are instantly forgiven

by Jesus Christ, but that does not remove the scars

that come from breaking up a home, the scars on

the children, the scars on both spouses, and all the others.

There are consequences, you see. Real forgiveness is not some

cheap term that you just throw out and instantly everybody

feels better. It is reserved for serious sins and is

reserved for the person who of whom they were committed against.

Now that's not real forgiveness. What is real forgiveness? Well,

the Bible says, real forgiveness is four things. Number one, First,

real forgiveness starts with remembering, remembering how much I've been forgiven,

remembering how much I have already been forgiven, how much

grace I've already received from Christ.

Ephesians four thirty two. Read this verse with me.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other,

just as in Christ. God forgave you and circle the

phrase in Christ. Because you're not forgiven because you earned it.

You're not forgiven because you deserve it. You're not forgiven

because you've promised to never sin again. Thank God, that's

not the requirement. But you're forgiven because you put your

faith in Christ. Now this is the starting point for

genuine forgiveness. You must feel grateful for how you've been forgiven.

You see, some of you have a hard time forgiving

other people, and the reason why is because you don't

feel forgiven yourself. And if you don't feel forgiven, you

don't want to forgive anybody else. You don't want them

to feel that, that's for sure, because if you're hard

on yourself, you're going to be hard on others. But

the more grace you receive from God, the more gracious

you're going to be to others. The more forgiven you

feel by God, the more forgiving you're going to tend.

To be toward others. Jesus said this, He pointed it out.

One day a street walker came to Jesus and in

front of a bunch of other leaders, she took a

very expensive alabaster box of perfume and she broke it

and she washed Jesus' feet with this very expensive perfume,

his dirty feet that you know, they wore sandals those days.

And the religious leaders were incensed by this. They said, first,

look who's doing this. The kind of woman, this woman

of ill repute. Look who's doing this. And number two,

they said, she could have taken that box, sold the

perfume for money and given them money to the poor

and be a whole lot better. And Jesus rebuked the

religious leaders. He said, lighten up. Basically, he said, she

has been forgiven much and so she's giving the most love.

And he said she'll be remembered from this day forward

because of her action. It was an act of worship,

because she felt so graced by Christ. She was being gracious,

she was being giving herself. It starts with remembering how

much I've been forgiven, and all of us have.

Been forgiven a lot.

Hey, thanks so much for being with us today. And

listening to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. I hope that you

were just as blessed as I was. From today's broadcast,

here's Pastor Rick and his wife Kay to tell you

about today's off.

Today on Daily Hope, we're talking about happiness.

Now.

I know we all have times when we think, what

have I got to be happy about? And you may

be looking at your life right now and you see

nothing but bad. The truth is, most people tend to

see life as a series of ups and downs. You're

either on top of things and everything looks great, or

you're down and things are looking really bad. But I

find that life is really more like a set of

train tracks, so that you get the good and the

bad at the same time. They run parallel to each other,

and even though something bad may be happening in your life,

you can always find something good to be thankful about.

The point is this, you can't wait until things are

perfect to find happiness because they're never going to be perfect.

That's never going to happen. Instead, you have to choose joy.

You have to choose happiness. You know, my wife Kay

has been making a conscious decision to choose joy every

single day and it's made a big difference in her

life and in our marriage. In fact, she's written a

great book. It's called Choose Joy. I want you to

hear from Kay.

Finding joy is a challenge for me. I'm not naturally

an upbeat person. I'm more of a melancholy When I

talk about joy, I'm not doing so from the perspective

of a generally peppy person who never has a bad day.

In fact, it was my own inability to live with

joy that led me to explore why my experiences didn't

line up with scripture. My problem was my definition of joy.

I thought joy meant feeling good all the time. That's impossible,

even for those who are naturally upbeat and optimistic. It's impossible.

We have to start somewhere more realistic and close to Scripture.

So here's the definition for joy that I've come up

with after studying the Bible. Joy is the settled assurance

that God is in control of all the details of

my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going

to be all right, and the determined choice to praise

God in every situation. You'll find nothing in that definition

about happy feelings, because, as we all know, happiness is

fleeting and temporary. The Bible is really a book about joy.

There are more than five hundred references to joy, gladness, merriment, rejoicing, delighting,

and laughing in the NIV translation of the Bible. You'd

think there would be ten times as many negative references

to sadness, mourning, tears, etc. But there are only one

hundred and fifty eight such references. That tells us that

God's Word is a book of joy.

Thanks Kay.

I want you to know that I personally benefited from

reading Kay's book, Choose Joy. It's made a difference in

my life, and I know it'll make a difference in

your life too. That's why I want to send it

to you as you send a gift to support the

ministry of Daily Hope. You know we can't continue broadcasting

these messages without your support. We're totally listeners supported.

Be sure to request your copy of Choose Joy today

when you give a gift to help Daily Hope share

the love of Jesus with a hurting world. Just go

to Pastorrick dot com to get your copy of this

great resource. That's Pastorick dot com. Or you can just

text the word hope to seven zero three oh nine. Again,

that's the word hope to seven oh three oh nine.

Be sure to join us next time as we look

into God's word for our daily hope. This program is

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