Rick Warren - The Strength of Gentleness—Part Two

Hello, and welcome to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope with Rick Warren.

We are so glad you're here with us. Today we're

going to continue our series called The Keys to a

Blessed Life.

Now.

In these messages, Rick walks through Jesus' Sermon on the

Mount and shows us how to live a truly hopeful

and purpose filled life. Okay, we're continuing with part two

of the strength of gentleness.

Number four. This is a really big one, particularly if

you're looking for a husband or wife. Number four, Gentleness

is attractive. The Bible says, if you want to be

more attractive, you need to learn to be more gentle

in your life. Now, this is true in both men

and in women. Now, one of the laws of life

is I attract what I am. I don't attract what

I want. I attract what I am. If you want

to attract the godly man, you have to be a

godly woman. If you want to attract a godly woman,

you have to be a godly man. You can't be

some rude dude in a crude mood and say I

really want one of those good women. Now, you will

attract what you are, and so gentleness attracts gentleness, and

godliness attracts godliness. Now, since we've got a bunch of

singles in this service for some guys, let me show

you this one Timothy six eleven. Here on the screen.

Here's the I'm gonna give you a verse for guys

and verse for guals. One Timothy six eleven. As a

man of God, and I want all of you, guys

to be men of God. As a man of God,

pursue what God approves of, and then he gives you

the five marks of a godly man. This is Paul

talking to Timothy. He's mentoring his son and the minut

he says, pursue what God approves of, and here are

the five things that make a godly man Godliness, faith, love, endurance,

and oh, by the way, gentleness, gentleness. Now he says,

God approves of godliness. What is godliness? It means I'm

trying to let Jesus live through me. I want to

be like God. I want to be like Christ. I

want to be christ Like. That's godliness. And then he says,

another mark of a man of God is faith. I

trust God in every area of my life. Another mark

of a man of God is love. You're loving, you're unselfish.

Another mark of a man of God of endurance. You

don't give up, you don't quit. You have endurance, you

have diligence, you have determination. And then one of the

marks of a man of God is gentleness. That is

strength under control, and that is attractive. Now, I don't

want to belabor this point, but for you single guys,

I'm want to give you a little advice tonight, because

doctor Love is in the house, all right, doctor Ricky Love.

Here he is. Guys, if you want to tract a

good woman, you need to do what Boaz did. Who Boas?

Where is he? In the old Desma? Where is it?

Look it up? No, No, I'll tell you. I'll tell you.

Bo As is in the Story of Ruth, named after

her in the Book of Ruth. Now here's the story

of Boaz. Boas is a young businessman and he is

pretty successful. And one day he looks out on his

field and he sees some stragglers taking from his crop. Now,

he'd already harvest the crop, but there's a little left over,

And a lot of times homeless people are very poor.

People would go out into the fields that had already

been harvested and find the little extra. This is called gleaning.

And he looks out and he sees one of these

people is a woman named Ruth. And she's very, very

poor because her husband has died. She's a widow, she's young,

but her husband has died. And Ruth decides, I'm going

to take care of my aged mother in law. My

husband has died. She has no legal responsibility to take

care of her mother in law, but she goes, this

is what God would want me to do. So I'm

going to take care of my aged mother in law,

even though my young husband has died. And so she's

out here picking grains in the fields in bo As.

This field, now, bo As could have gone out. He

could have been rude, He could have been ruthless. He

could have been demanding, and he could have said, get

off my property. This is my property. You don't have

any right to be harvesting my grain. It's my grain,

and if I want to leave it out, there can.

But he was not rude, he was not ruthless. He he

was not crude. In fact, he was gentle with Ruth.

And not only does he allow her to pick, he says,

I got enough let her pick some grain on my crops.

Go ahead and let her do. He then commends her.

He compliments Ruth for taking care of her aged mother

in law. And he compliments her, and he's very kind

and if you read the whole story, he's very gentle

with this total stranger. And so then Ruth responds this way.

In Ruth Chapter two, verse thirteen and fourteen, Ruth said

to Boaz, you're very kind to me. You have made

me feel better. You have made me feel better by

speaking gently to me. Pause, guys, a woman always feels

better when you speak gently to her, when you're not

in a hurry, when you're not rushing, you're not rude,

you're not worseful. A woman always feels better when you

speak gently to her. You have made me feel better

by speaking gently to me, and so it's going good.

So Boas invites her at the lunch. And then at lunchtime,

Boaz says to Ruth, come have a piece of bread

with me and dip it in the sauce. Now you

thought fondue was Swedish two thousand years before anybody said

the word fondu. Boas is dipping in the sauce with Ruth.

And it says then Boaz passed her some roasted grain

to eat, little granola, and she ate it until she

was satisfied, and she still had food left her. He

gives her a doggie bag. Now this is a good thing.

He's being kind, he's being gentle. Now here's an interesting

thing out of that simple is it? Because he was kind,

Because he was gentle, they end up becoming an item,

falling in love and getting married. Now why is that

story even in the Bible? Because Ruth was not even Jewish,

and it was illegal for a Jewish man Boaz to

marry a non Jewish woman, but he did, and God

had a plan in it. And in Matthew chapter one,

where it gives the genealogy of Jesus Christ the Messiah,

there are four women mentioned in that genealogy and one

of them is not even Jewish. Her name is Ruth.

And God used that marriage as one of the marriages

to bring the Messiah into the world. And it all

happened because Boaz was gentle with a woman he didn't

even know. Here's the point. If Boaz had been ruthless,

he would have been ruth less. I've waited all week

to share that with you. Okay, come on, that's pretty good, right, Okay.

If Boaz had been ruthless, he would have been ruth

less and all of that history would not have happened.

But it all started with him just being gentle. Would

you write this down? Gentle Men are gentlemen. Gentlemen are gentlemen.

The way you become a gentleman is by being gentle.

Now that's for the guys. Let me talk to you

women for just a minute. Gentleness is attractive, not just

on a man, but generalist is attractive in women too.

One Peter, chapter three, verse four says this, talking to women.

You should be known for the beauty that comes from within,

the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which

is so precious to God. Now I want you to

circle the word unfading. God says, I want you to

focus on unfading beauty. I hate to tell you this, ladies,

but your beauty is going to fade. In fact, all

men and all women our beauty. Faith Some of us,

our beauty start fading about year one. We recute as babies.

But he says, there is an unfading beauty that is

attractive and what is that unfading beauty that is attractive,

the beauty of a gentle spirit. Gentleness is attractive. Number five.

The fifth reason why you want to learn this quality

in your life is that gentleness communicates love. Gentleness communicates love,

It diffuses conflict, it disarms critics, it's persuasive, it's attractive,

and gentleness communicates love. Guys, those you her husbands and

are married, the quickest way to improve your marriage. The

quickest way to improve your marriage is to start talking

to your wife more gently. It'll do wonders if you'll

begin to talk to your wife in a more gentle way. Colossians,

Chapter three, Verse nineteen. Husbands, love your wives and be

gentle with them. Any fool can be selfish, any fool

can be rough, any fool can be rude. But gentlemen

aren't gentle men. Now this is true not only in marriage.

The key a great marriage is simply the union of

two great forgivers, because you're going to hurt each other

a lot in life. I've been married to Kay thirty

eight years. I've heard her so many times, and she's

hurt me so many times. But we're both great forgivers

and that's part of gentleness. Now it's not only a

key to effective marriage. Gentleness you're going to need this

someday is the key to effective parenting. Never discipline, I said,

out of anger or out of frustration, but always gently

out of love Fiesian six four. Fathers, Do not irritate

your children. Do not provoke your children to anger. Now

they don't do things that make them intentionally upset. Do

not exasperate your children to resent them. What does that mean.

It means don't raise the standard so high there's no

way they can meet it. You know, you ask for ces,

and you ask for you know, be's, and they get c's.

Then you ask for bees and they get bees. And then

you ask for a's. You want straight a's. And don't

exasperate your kids asking for perfection in their life. But

rear them tenderly, in other words, gently rear them tenderly,

gently in the training and in the discipline, and in

the council of the Lord. I can honestly say to

you that I never remember my father ever raising his

voice against me growing up. Not one time did you

ever get angry? Of course he did. Was he ever

upset with me? Of course he was upset. Did I

ever really blow it? And have every reason for him

to get it at many many times, almost a daily basis.

But he was a gentle man. He had strength under control,

and he would not yell at me. Gentleness communicates love.

Number six. This is an important Gentleness earns respect. Proverbs eleven,

verse sixteen. Women. If you want to be respected as

a woman, here's what the Bible says. A woman of

gentle grace will be respected. A woman of gentle grace

will be respected. That's also true of men. But you know,

when I think of that verse, a woman of grace,

general grace will be respected, I think a mother Teresa.

Mother Teresa was this little, I mean, diminutive, barely, you know,

I don't know, four half four and a half feet,

maybe five feet tall at the most. I don't think

she was even that tall, quite frail, quite small, diminutive,

little Romanian Nune. But she could walk into the United

States Congress and put the fear of God in every

power broker in that room. Why Because gentlenscerns respect, and

she was earned that respect. Gentleness, by the way, is

a prerequisite to leadership. If you want to be a leader,

in any area of life, you're gonna have to learn

what we're talking about tonight. If you want to be

a leader in the church, if you want to be

a leader in government, if you want to be a

leader in business, if you want to be a leader

in your home, if you want to be a leader

in your community, in your school, or in any other organization.

Every great leader is a gentle leader. The greatest leaders

of all time were the most gentle, Jesus being the

supreme example. But for instance, the greatest president in our

history was Abraham Lincoln. No one was more gentle than

Abraham Lincoln. And he even showed gentleness in the way

he treated the defeated Southern states with respect and brought

them back in in a gentle way. If he hadn't

been a gentleman, that we haven't divided nation. Gandhi was

a gentle person. Martin Luther King was a gentle person.

George Washington was a gentleman. He was truly known as

a gentleman. And great leaders are gentle You know, there's

a story in the Bible that you really ought to

know about, and it's the story of a guy named

Riha Bohm. In the Bible, there was a guy named

King David who united all twelve tribes of Israel and

they became one nation. And together the twelve tribes became

quite powerful, and they had a lot of land, and

they were very strong. It was the apex of the

power Solomon had, I mean Abraham David had a son

named Solomon. Solomon expanded the empire of Israel and united

the tribes even more, and they were at the greatest

power at that point in history. They were the most

powerful nation at that time. Solomon was the wisest man

in the world. He was the wealthiest man in the world,

and he was the most powerful man in the world.

And he had this great united kingdom. And then Solomon

dies and he turns this enormous, huge kingdom to his

young son named Rhabone. Ria Boham had no experience in

leadership at all, and so he starts by doing the

right thing, and then he does the wrong thing. He

starts by going to the older leaders of the nation.

They are called the elders, and Ria Bohem goes that, look,

I'm just a young guy. I don't know anything about leadership,

and I'm thrust in this position. Would you guys, tell

me what do I need to do to earn the

respect of the nation and be the kind of leader

my father Solomon and my grandfather David were. And he

did the right thing. He listened. He went to the elders,

the wise, and you should be listening to older men

and older women in your life, listening to them always

at every stage of your life. And the elders of

the nation say to Ria Boem, I'll tell you what,

if you'll just do two things, the people will follow

you anywhere. First if you genuinely serve them and you

show that you're there to meet their needs. And second,

if you always speak to them gently. Don't do a

power surge, don't do a power grab, don't be on

an ego trip. Speak to them gently. He said, these

people will follow you anywhere You'll they'll be putty in

your hands. They'll do whatever you ask them to do

as leaders. Now, that's the good thing he did. The

bad thing is he paid no attention to the advice

of the elders. And so then he goes to all

the young guys. He grew up with all of his peers,

and he says, what do you guys think I should

do now. They weren't any wiser than he was, They

had no more experience than he did. So he says

to his friends, young friends, what do you think I

should do as the new leader of this nation? And

the young men gave him the exact opposite advice. They said,

you got to prove that you are in authority. You

got to prove you have the right to be king.

You got to be tough, you got to be hard,

You got to do me demanding. You need to lay

down the law right now and let everybody know that

you're in charge, and you can't. You have to be

on and you need to prove. Because you're young, you're

going to need to prove that you are the authority

and the leader. And that's exactly what he followed that advice.

You know what happened. The whole nation rebelled. They went

into riots and chaos and eventually civil war, and ten

of the twelve tribes of Israel split from Rear Boham's

kingdom and started a whole new kingdom. And that was

the end of the United Israel. And from then on

they have no more power as a people. Why because

Ria Bohom refused to be gentle. It was just a

stupid thing. Instead, he threw his weight around. Listen, anytime

you have to stand up in front of the group

of people and says excuse me, everybody in the business room,

in a clubhouse, or in a boardroom, anytime you say

excuse me, I am the leader. If you have to

tell the people you're a leader, you ain't. If you

have to tell him, you're not. It he who thinketh,

he leadeth, and hath no one following him is only

taking a walk. So leadership is earned, it is learned,

and it is discerned. It is never demanded. If you

demand that you're the leader, you're not a leader. You're

a dictator. And that's a big difference. There's even being

a boss and a leader. A leader leads by example

and leads by influence. Now, gentleness earns respect, and the

more gentle you are, the more respected you're going to

be as a leader. The greatest leader in the Bible was,

of course Moses. Moses liberated Israelites from four hundred years

of slavery. He took on the most powerful men in

the world at that time, Pharaoh let my people go.

He had nothing but God on his side, and that

was enough. And he was fearless, and he was unafraid

to go speak truth to power. And yet, here's what

the Bible says about Moses. The greatest leader in the

Bible numbers chapter twelve, verse three. Moses was a very

meek and gentle man. In fact, he was more gentle

than anyone else on the face of the earth. This

is why you can understand Meekness is not weakness, Gentleness

is not weakness. In the Bible, there are only two

people in the entire Bible who were called meek or gentle,

only two in the entire Bible. You know who they are,

Moses and Jesus. Neither of them were weak. Jesus knew

how to call the shots and turn the tables upside

down when he needed to, and you know, turn over

the money changers. And he had no problem being strong.

He was strength under control. Here's the amazing thing. Moses

is the only other man in the Bible called meek.

And yet do you know what moses persistent sin was.

He had an anger management problem. Moses had a temper,

a violent temper. In fact, it is moses temper that

got in trouble throughout his entire life. One day Moses

got so mad, got so angry he killed an Egyptian.

He murdered a guy out of anger. That's pretty angry.

Another time, God gave him the Ten Commandments up on

Mount Sinai. He came down and he saw all the

people and they were all, like, you know, having an orgy.

And he got so angry at that. He throws down

the ten Commandments that God had made for him and

they break and God says, you're making the second set, buddy,

it's true. And he had to go back up and

he had to carve personally the second set. God had

given him the first set, but he broke him out

of his anger. Another time, God said that people were thirsty.

He said, well, I want you to speak to the

rock and water will come out of He says, no, Lord,

we've always done it another way. I want to do

it in the traditional way, and he struck the rock.

He got angry and struck the rock. It was anger

that kept Moses out of the Promised Land. She had

a lifelong problem with anger. How the guy has a

lifelong problem with anger be the only other guy in

the Bible called gentle here's the reason, and this should

give hope to you who struggle with anger management. Moses

was teachable, and when people spoke to him about areas

of his life that needed to be changing, he didn't

get angry back at that. He learned from them. Now

you may have a struggle controlling your temper, The real

issue is not that. The real issue is are you teachable?

And when somebody points out that you have a temper problem,

do you humbly listen and respond with gentleness or do

you get mad at that too and have a hissy

fit and a cow. Moses was meeking because he was teachable.

You know, people are being transformed by these messages. In fact,

here's Rick with a letter from one of our listeners today.

I've got a quick note from a listener in Minneapolis.

His name is Bill, and Bill wrote to me, Rick,

I want to let you know that I prayed with

you this morning, accepting God into my life. Wow. That's great.

Daily Hope has become the way that I start each

day listening to your podcast. So much has changed in

my life over the past year. I had a job loss,

I had a transition, I had a divorce, my dad passed,

away cancer and my faith all in the same year.

I'm so thankful for all that you do. So Bill,

I want to tell you, I know you've been going

through some really tough times this past year, but there's

no greater news than hearing that you've accepted Jesus into

your life. And the fact that God used the Daily

Hope podcast to lead you to Him is such a blessing.

And I want you to know that as you continue

to study God's word every day, you're going to find

that your faith is growing and you'll see God actively

working in your life. And I really am as excited

to think about what the next year is going to bring.

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