Rick Warren - How Mercy Can Heal Your Relationships

The Bible says, every believer is a minister. Now we

all minister in different ways. But anytime you help somebody

else in Jesus' name, that is called ministry. And as

they said, the Bible says, there are different kinds of service,

different kinds of ministries, but there is one ministry that

we all have in common. And that's what I want

us to look at this weekend. I call it your

ministry of mercy. God wants you to be an agent

of mercy in the world. There's not enough mercy in

this world. And God wants you to be a provider.

He wants you to be an agent. He wants you

to be a purveyor of mercy in the world. Now,

in the fifth Key to a blessed life, Jesus says

this Matthew five, verse seven. God blesses those who are merciful,

for they will be shown mercy. In other words, what

you give out you're going to get back. What you

give you're going to get. God blesses those who are merciful,

for they will be shown mercy. This is the fifth

key to a blessed life. You got to learn to

be a minister of mercy. Now, what is mercy. Well,

usually we think of two things. Usually think of forgiving

people who don't deserve it, or we think of helping

people who can't help themselves. And those are two definitions

of mercy that we typically think of. But mercy, which

by the way, is a part of God's character, has

so much more to say and to do in your

life than simply those two things. Mercy is really like

a it's like a diamond. It's multifaceted. And this weekend

I want us to look at seven facets of mercy,

seven ways that you can transform your relationships, because I

guarantee you, if you'll learn how to be an agent

of mercy, it's going to change your work relationships, your marriage,

your friendships, family relationships, any other relationship you've got if

you learn how to be an agent of mercy. But

before we look at how to practice mercy in a relationship,

I want to just ask the question why, Why in

the world should I be merciful? So just write these

four downs. This is kind of a little introduction here.

And the first reason that we need to show mercy

is because God has shown me mercy. God has shown

me mercy. The Bible says that God is merciful. It's

emphasized all through the Bible. There are literally hundreds and

hundreds of scripture to talk about God's mercy and his love,

his compassion, and his grace. Let me show you a

couple of verses. One is up here on the screen. Ephesians,

chapter two, verse four or five says this, God's mercy

is so abundant and his love for us is so

great that why we were spiritually dead in our disobedience.

He brought us to life with Christ. It is by

God's grace you have been saved. God has shown mercy

to us. Now the point is this, God wants me

to act in the same way to our other people.

He wants me to pass on the mercy that I

received from God. He wants me to pass on. Look

at the next verse. It's there on your outline, Matthew eighteen.

Shouldn't you have mercy on others just as I had

mercy on you. Jesus is telling a story here about

an unmerciful employee and he owes his boss some money,

and the boss says, well, I'm gonna show mercy on you.

Let's just clear your debt and I'm we'll just wipe

it off and just say we're even. And the guy

can't believe it because he's been shown such great mercy.

But then he goes out to some people who owe

him some money far less money, and he starts grabbing

him by the throat. He say, pay me here, I'm

gonna have you thrown in prison. When the boss hears

about it, he goes, what are you doing. I was

merciful to you, and you're not merciful to the people

around you. You're a wicked guy, and he throws him

in prison. God says, if I show mercy to you,

I expect you to show it to others. God has

shown me mercy. Second reason, God commands me to be merciful.

God commands me to be merciful. There's a verse in

the Bible in Micah. I'm going to show it to

you up here on the screen. It's again one of

many verses. God has told you what is good and

what he requires from you. Okay, so whatever comes next

is what God says is good and is required of you.

And here's what's required of you. Three things to do

what is right with others, to love, being merciful, to

others and to live humbly in fellowship with God. Now

leave that up there for a minute. That's if you

want to summarize what life's all about. God says, this

is what's required of you. If you're gonna be in

my family, if you're going to be my child, you

gotta do what's right with others. You got to love

being merciful to others, and you got to live humbly

in fellowship with God. Let me shock you with this

next statement. God says that being merciful is more important

than worship. Did you hear that? God says that you

being merciful to other people is actually more important than worship.

Hoseiah six, verse six. God says this, I don't want

your sacrifices. I want you to be merciful. Now what

is he saying here? He's saying, I don't want your

acts of worship. I want you to be merciful. This

is much more important. In fact, this verse Hoseiah chapter six,

verse six is so important Jesus quotes it two times

in his ministry in two totally unrelated situations. In debates

with the Pharisees. This is one of the most important

verses in the Bible. So look that again. I don't

want your sacrifices. I want you to be merciful. God

is saying, I prefer a flexible heart over an inflexible ritual.

I don't care if you come and saying I praise you,

I love you, You're great, and all of that. And

then you go out and you treat people like dirt.

You treat your your wife or your husband, or your children,

or your friends, or the people you work with, or

or people who are working at fast food joints, whatever.

He says. If you don't treat people with mercy, you've

missed the whole point. God's shown me mercy, and he

commands me to be merciful. There's a third reason I

need to learn what we're gonna look at this weekend,

and it's because I'm gonna need more mercy in the future.

I'm gonna need more mercy in the future. You're not

gonna be perfect between now and when you get to heaven.

And the Bible tells us that we cannot receive what

we are unwilling to give. And so in James chapter

two James two, verse thirteen, the Bible says this you

must circle that word must. You must show mercy to others,

or God won't show mercy to you. But here's the

good news. The person who shows mercy can stand without

fear at the judgment. Don't you want to be able

to do that on judgment day? To be able to

stand without fear on judgment day? It says, the person

who shows mercy can stand without fear on the judgment day.

Now there's the fourth reason, and that is showing mercy

brings or causes happiness. Showing mercy brings happiness, it's really

the source of happiness. The Bible teaches over and over

in scripture that the more merciful I am, the happier

I'm going to be. Remember the beatitudes. The word blessed

also means happy macarios. He's saying, happy are the merciful.

If you want to be happy, you need to learn

this quality. And the more you learn this quality, the

happier you're gonna be. Look at this verse on the screen.

The Bible says, if you want to be happy Proverbs

fourteen twenty one, be kind to those in need. And

then he says it is a sin to despise anyone,

and let me show you another one. Proverbs eleven seventeen

says this, a merciful person helps himself, but the cool

person hurts himself. So you actually help yourself when you

are merciful. I love this verse Proverbs eleven seventeen. In

the Living Bible, it says, your own soul is nourished

when you show mercy. Your own soul is nourished when

you show mercy. So these four reasons God shown me mercy.

He commands me to be merciful. I'll need mercy in

the future, and it's the key to happiness. Tell me

that this is an important quality that I need to

build into my life. All right, today, I want to

invite you to join me in something that's very close

to my heart, fulfilling the great commission of Jesus Christ.

Sharing the good news is the most important thing we

do when we work together. There's nothing that God cannot

do to us. When we're unified through daily hope. The

message of Jesus Christ is now reaching nearly every country

in the world. That's one hundred and ninety seven nations.

We're going to even places where it's difficult or dangerous

or illegal to talk about Christ. Openly. We're sharing the

certain hope of Jesus and it's changing lives every single day.

Right now, we have an incredible opportunity. That's why I'm

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Not say God, what should I give? Say God? What

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All right, let's look at how can I learn this

quality of mercy in a world that's not very merciful,

it's pretty unmerciful. How do I fulfill what God calls

my ministry of mercy? Some of these ways you're quite

familiar with, but I guarantee you there's a few of

them that you probably have never even thought of. Oh

that's a part of mercy, and yes it is too.

Let's look at them. Number one, be patient with people's quirks.

Be patient with people's quirks. I'm talking about don't look

at them right now. They're idiosyncrasies, their peculiarities, their mannerisms,

their odd behavior, they're irritating habits. You know what I'm

talking about, right, Okay, you show mercy. You you show

mercy when you don't get irritated and you don't get angry,

and you don't get uptight with people's personal quirks. And

we've all got them. You've got them, I've got them,

and we've all got these little mannerisms and irritating habits.

A way of speaking and thinking and talking and acting

when you control your anger and when you refuse to

get upset by people's quirks, you are showing mercy. It's

a very practical way. Now I've been married thirty eight years.

I will have been married thirty nine years before this

month is over. I want to give you maybe the

most important marriage advice you'll ever get in your life.

It's the next verse Ephesians four to two. Be patient

with each other, making allowances for each other's faults. Why

because of your love The phrase making allowance, making allowance

for each other's faults. You see, you married a sinner guys,

and she married a bigger one. Two imperfect people cannot

make a perfect marriage. You have faults, your spouse has faults.

And marriage is the great. Marriage is the union of

two great forgivers. That's what makes a great marriage. It's

the union of two great forgivers. Now it says, here,

make allowance for each other's false because you're loved. The

number one place you need to learn to show mercy

is at home. It's at home. Why because you see

each other's faults far more than anybody else does, and

you're up close and personal with those faults, and you've

got to live with them the rest of your life.

So show mercy. Show mercy, you know, when I used

to do marriage counseling, I discovered that marriages don't die

usually because of one big catastrophe. Marriages are buried because

of a lot of little digs, And they're just little

nagging and digging and nagging and digging. It says, make

allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Look

over this verse on the screen. James two thirteen says,

the man who makes no allowances for others will find

none made for him. None made show mercy. The Bible says,

we show mercy by being patient with each other's quirks,

our foibles, our weaknesses, are mistakes, all of the things

that make us make us human. Say I really want

to do that? How do I How do I get

more patients with my kids, with my spouse, with my friends?

How do I get more patient? One word wisdom. The

wiser you get, the more patient you will be. The

Bible says this in James chapter three. The wisdom that

comes from Heaven is pure and peace loving, and gentle

at all times. Circle all gentle at all times, and

is willing to yield to others. Wisdom is full of mercy.

So the wiser you get, the more merciful, you get

a lot of people who think they're wise. Aren't there, pompous? Pompous?

You thought I was going to say that worried wisdom

is full of mercy. Now, notice says there wisdom from

heaven is peace loving. If you're not peace loving, you're

not wise. It says, it's gentle at all times. If

you're easily irritated, you're not wise. It says, it's willing

to yield. If you're unwilling to yield, you're not wise.

The miser I become, the more patient and merciful I become,

the more unbending, the more irritating, the more angry, the

more I get upset, the more foolish. The Bible says,

I am. If you're easily irritated, you're not wife. So

be patient with people's quirks. Number two, the second way

to practice mercy this week. Help anyone hurting around me,

Help anyone hurting around me. They're hurting people all around you,

but too often we're too busy to notice it. If

you care, you'll be aware. Jesus told the story of

the Good Samaritan to teach this very point about helping

the hurting around us is the meaning of mercy. A

guy came to Jesus one day and he said, Jesus,

what's the most important command in the Bible? Okay, give

me the bottom line here. I don't have time to

read the whole Bible. So what is it that matters most?

And Jesus said, oh, that's really easy. It's two things.

Love God with all your heart and love your neighbor

as yourself. That's the whole Bible in a nutshell. Love

God with all your heart and love your neighbors yourself. Now,

the guy wants to get out of this, and he's

kind of weaseling out of us. He says, so love

your neighbors yourself. Yeah, who's my neighbor? And Jesus says, well,

let me tell you a story, and he tells the story,

the famous story of the Good Samaritan, of the man

who was going down the road to Jericho and he

is he's robbed, and he's beaten and he's abused, and

he's left for dead at the side of the road

and three guys pass by him, and two of them

do nothing, and the third guy, of another race and

culture stops and helps him nurses him back to health,

puts him on his donkey, takes him to a hotel

or motel, checks in, pays the bill for the guy

and says that if he has any other bills, when

I come back by, I'll pay for it. And Jesus

looks at the guy. He says, who's my neighbors? Who

do you think was the neighbor? And the man says,

the guy who showed the most mercy, the guy who

showed the most mercy. You cannot love your neighbor as

yourself without being merciful. And we help those around us.

Look at some verses here Privers three twenty seven. Whenever

you possibly can do good to those who need it,

you got to look for it now, by the way,

when you are helping people in need. And there are

going to be people in your area of life this

week that God intentionally puts in your life to allow

you to practice mercy. They're going to have an emotional need,

They're going to have a physical need, a financial need.

They may just need an assistance. They may need, you know,

help you to care for him in some way. God,

when he's watching you, is not simply watching what you do.

He's watching your attitude. Look at this verse Romans twelve eight.

When you do acts of mercy, show mercy with what cheerfulness? Yeah?

Circle that with cheerfulness. He says, you don't do it

grinning and bearing it. You don't do it with a

grudging attitude. I love this verse Romans twelve eight and

the message paraphrase. Look up here on the screen. It

says this, if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let

yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep

a smile on your face. Mercy is being patient with

people's quirks, and it's being helpful with people's hurts. Number

three third way you can show mercy this week. Give

people a second chance, and everybody needs that. Give people

a second chance. We forgive the fallen, especially those who

have hurt you. You need to forgive. Now. That's not normal,

is it? Normally? When somebody hurts us, we want to

do one or two things, either get even or be

write them off. Somebody hurts you, you don't want to

be giving them a second chance. Your natural inclination. That

guy hurt me at work, you know, he messed me up.

He you know, he put me down in front of

somebody else, whatever, you either want to get back or

you want to write them off. But here's what the

Bible says Ephesians four. Don't get bitter or angry or

use harsh words that hurt each other. Don't yell at

one another or curse or ever be rude. Instead, be

kind and merciful and forgive others just as God forgave you.

Now notice in that verse, Jesus contrast or the Bible

contrast mercy with six negative responses. You might circle those, okay,

because he says if you want to help, if you

want to be merciful, he says, don't get bitter. That's

number one. Don't get angry, don't use harsh words, don't yell,

don't curse, and don't be rude. Do you see why

mercy is so important today? Because that's the way the

world acts today. That's the world responds with bitterness, harsh words, hurt.

If you don't believe it, just go on the internet

and you'll see that there's very, very little mercy on

the internet. How would you rate yourself on mercy? How

would you rate yourself bitter, angry, harsh words, you yelled,

your curse, you get rude, or you always kind and

merciful forgiving others just as God forgave you. How would

you rate yourself on this? It's number four. Another way

to show mercy, do good to those who hurt me.

I am to do good to those who hurt me. See,

if you really boil it down, mercy is giving people

what they need, not what they deserve. That's mercy, giving

people what they need, not what they deserve. Why because

that's what God does with you. God gives you what

you need, not what you deserve. If I got what

I deserve from God, I wouldn't be standing here. I

wouldn't be alive. But the Bible says we give people

what they need, not what they deserve, and we do

good to those who are Why should I do good

to those who hurt me? How many times have you

heard me say hurt people? Hurt people? Yeah, hurt people

hurt people. And the people who you want to love

the least are those who need it the most. The

most hurtful people are those who need massive doses of

love and mercy. Let me ask you to just think

in your mind, who's hurt you the most in life?

Think about that who hurts you the most in life?

They need your mercy. Let me ask you this, who's

hurts you the most recently in life? They need your mercy.

The Bible says this in Luke chapter six, Jesus says,

love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to

them without expecting anything back. Hea witmue, why would I

want to do that? Well, remember those four reasons we

went over. God's shown me mercy. He commands me to

be merciful. I'm gonna need mercy in the future, and

it's the key to happiness. Anytime you hold on to hurt,

you're making yourself miserable. You're not hurting them. Love your enemies,

do good to them, and lend to them without expecting

get anything back. You see, if somebody hurts you, that

puts you above them. If you forgive them, if you

get even, you're just on the same level. You know

better than they are. If you get even, If you

do a hurt, you're beneath them. If you get even,

you get your even. But if you forgive them, you're

above them. Morally, Love your enemies, do good to them,

and lend to them without expecting anything back. Your reward

will be great. There's a motivation, and you will be

the children of the most high. In other words, you

get the identity because God is kind to the ungrateful

and wicked. Is God kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

Just look at the world. God is kind to the

ungrateful and wicked, And so he says, so be merciful,

just as your father is merciful. You know. There's a

famous story about President Abraham Lincoln's mercy that after the

Southern States were defeated by the Northern States in the

Civil War in America one hundred and fifty years ago,

President Lincoln spoke to a crowd in Washington, d c.

From the balcony of the White House, and he was

laying out how his plan for reconstruction. And at the

end of his speech, a very famous senator from Iowa,

whose name was James Harlan, shouted out, and what do

we do with the rebels? What do we do with

these confederates who had started this whole war in the

first place. And the unmerciful crowd shouted back, hang them,

hang them, hang them. And what was interesting, and this

famous story is that Lincoln's youngest son, Tad, who was

at eleven at the time, was standing next to him

and he said, looked up at his daddy. He said, no, Daddy, no, Papa, no,

not hang them, hang on to them, hang on to them.

And Lincoln grinned his eleven year old son and he said,

that's it to Tad's got the answer. We're not going

to hang them. We're going to hang on to them.

And that is mercy number five. A fifth way to

show mercy is to be kind. The Bible says, to

those who offend me, be kind to those who offend me.

You have probably noticed that the verbal attacks on Christians

are going up in our society. Have you noticed this?

And it's increasing, and people are taking slurs at Christians

and potshots at Christians and being attacked like never a

foreign America. And there are a lot of groups pushing

anti Christian agendas today because we represent a barrier, and

the barrier is we hold on to what God's truth is,

and we say sorry, God's truth is God's truth, and

we just have to follow God's truth. As Peter said,

we must obey God rather than men.