Episode 016 - Podcast | Why Humility Beats Performance In The Life Of Faith

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to the Heart of the Humili Podcast.

My name is Michelle Lopez, and I'm here with Father and Gabriel Pastor.

And we're from St.

Augustine Church and Student Center here in Coral Cable Coral Gables, Florida.

Um, and we're happy that you're back listening.

So we're gonna be checking in the gospel this week.

How are you doing, Father?

Doing well.

How's it going, Michelle?

And you sound fully recovered voice.

I am fully required back, uh recovered back in business.

So it's great to have my voice back.

Awesome.

I've met.

I've been.

Well, you used it really well this weekend in your Humley because I was taking some notes actually when I was listening to it for the first time and I was like, gosh, it just keeps getting better and better.

So very excited to have a lot of people.

Oh, that's the Holy Spirit.

That's the Holy Spirit.

It definitely is.

So there's so much.

So we're just gonna start by reading the gospel to give you some context on um kind of what our discussion is gonna be about today.

So we're looking at the Gospel of Luke, chapter 18, verses 9 to 14.

Luke 18:9–14

Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else.

Two people went up to the temple area to pray.

One was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector.

The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself.

Oh God, I thank you that I'm not like the rest of humanity, greedy, dishonest, adulterous, or even like this tax collector.

I fast twice a week and I pray pay tithes on my whole income.

But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast and prayed, O God, be merciful to me, a sinner.

I tell you the later went home justified, not the former.

For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.

Gospel of the Lord.

Amen.

So Father When um, it kind of sounds like one of those like bar jokes, like two people walk into a bar, one's a Pharisee, one's a tax collector.

Right.

Um But this the scripture um and your homily, you started off by addressing that this is like a mirror to us.

Right.

So we'd love to have you share a little bit of what that what that means, because there's two um two characters in the story, and I think you're you're very right.

They're both a mirror to us, kind of looking at who we are and what are our thoughts and what's going on inside.

Yeah, this homily is brilliant, I think, because one of the things that we've always talked about is what are those things that we need to do to continue to grow in holiness?

And these are one, this is one of the homilies or one of the the gospels where it's perfect to be able to bring to prayer, to bring to your spirit uh to your prayer life to say, I want to grow in holiness.

Let's break this open because this gospel is not about two men who are in the temple area.

This this is this gospel is about you and me.

It's about us.

And I think it is a mirror.

It's about one, and here's the thing.

I one thing, something that I've repeated many times in a homily, uh I've said that every single person has the capacity to do great, and every single person has a capacity to do ill or to behave badly.

I think that's in all of us.

Yeah, and so when you look at the these two characters, you have the Pharisee and the tax collector, which by the way, this Pharisee is a very good man, right?

You read all the the the resume there, and you're saying, wow, if we had more people like that, this world would be a really good world.

But as I mentioned, Jesus wants to go deeper, wants to break it open.

And that's what holiness is about, right?

We could just coast and leave our live our mediocre life and just do what we need.

I'm not, I mean, I'm not killing anybody.

I but our job is to continue to challenge people.

Yeah, that Jesus wants more.

And like you were saying, that it's not about the outward exterior holiness, because in a sense, that's that's very much in our control a lot of times.

We can kind of look the look, um, look the part, but the interior is where it's at.

And um, because I think that at in prayer, when we go to prayer, every single person uh is bringing their pride, their insecurity, but they're also bringing this longing for mercy.

So this is like this hodgepodge of what we bring to prayer, and it it's it's reflective of these two men.

Yeah, right?

It's one of the things that I wanted to talk about, which I love, is uh quoting the Pope.

The Pope from his Angelus Prayer talked about this, right?

He of course, he he always talks about the Sunday, the gospel, which by the way, I love this Pope.

I don't know about you, but in Christ and it's funny because I want to tell you something funny because when he was newly elected, uh, I was watching something and he was doing it all in English, and uh and you forget that the Pope is American, right?

So I'm watching this man all dressed in white, he's a Pope, and I said to myself, wow, his English is really good.

Oh my gosh.

Like, of course he's American, he's from Chicago.

Um, but there's something about you we're not used to it, and uh just listening to all his homilies, listening to the talks that he does, um, we are blessed as American people to listen to the the Holy Father in our language and in an American dialect, too.

It's it's just incredible the gift that God gives us.

But the Pope says this Jesus gives us a power of a full message.

It's not by flaunting our merits that we're saved, nor by hiding our mistakes, but by presenting ourselves honestly, just as we are before God, ourselves and others, asking for forgiveness and entrusting ourselves to the Lord's grace.

And then he comments on the passage.

He says, St.

Augustine compares the Pharisee to a sick man who, out of shame and pride, hides his wounds from the doctor.

The tax collector is compared to another who, with humility and wisdom, lays bare his wounds before the doctor, however unpleasant they may be to look at and asks for help.

That's powerful.

Isn't that powerful?

Wow, and I and it's so, and I mentioned this, I yeah, I mentioned it in Homily that I see this all the time.

I see this all the time in people who are very good people, but who have this desire and this need to impress others, even in their holiness, even in their walking with the Lord, even in their prayer life, in how they serve the Lord in different ministries, and it's this need to impress.

Which this is like the blindness that you were talking about, the Pharisee.

That is that what you blinds him from seeing or from praying, like from the heart, is like that desire to impress that pride.

I yeah, I agree.

And I remember when I took a psychology class and I looked it up recently, but it was like in the 1950s, 50s, there was a psychologist who uh I think his last name is Festinger, and he talked about this theory of comparison um and its idea that we determine our own worth uh by comparing ourselves to others, and that's dangerous.

I'm about to say that sounds like a disaster.

A disaster, and I think that that's the problem that we're seeing with young people today.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's on your phone all the time.

You're comparing through social media.

Um, you know, there's so much access to kind of a view of people's lives that's very surface, um, but we can kind of take that and compare ourselves.

Well, the thing is it's a coping mechanism, right?

So when we don't know who we are, and we've talked about this a lot, unless we understand that we are a beloved son or a beloved daughter of the Lord, and that's our identity.

Our identity comes from knowing who we are in Jesus Christ, right?

If we don't understand that, then our coping mechanism is to compare ourselves to others.

And so that's why this danger of constantly being on social media, of constantly being uh uh doing the, you know, it's just the scrolling, the constant scrolling.

It's it's it's insatiable.

So you you never, never can satisfy.

It's it's this constant.

And I believe that it's a coping mechanism because in the end, a lot of people that are sitting in the pews, a lot of people that are coming to confession, they're not happy with their lives.

Or not that they're not happy with their lives, that they feel that there's something so something missing, so great in their life that they can't put their finger on it.

So I need to compare.

I need to see, well, maybe if I can figure out what that person has and why they look so happy, maybe if I do it that way, maybe then that'll bring me some joy and happiness.

Even though I love Jesus and I go to mass, but I'm still missing that.

Right.

And that sounds still very like exterior, like you're looking out.

Right.

You know, all that all of the coping that you were talking about is like looking outward, where even in the scriptures it's calling us to look at like the inward, like what's going on in our own hearts.

Um so one thing that you were sharing in your homie was God can only fill an empty heart, not one that's full of himself.

Yeah.

Do you want to speak a little bit into what that what that looks like?

Um well, the thing is that if you're so polished and you yourself think that I don't I don't have anything else to do, or I don't have anything else to learn, I'm pretty good.

I I don't kill anybody, I do what I need to do, I go to mass every day.

If that's your point of departure, if that's what well then God can't fill your heart.

One of the things I said in the home was you need to see your life as clay or or or porous where there there's grace can seep in.

Has to be this raw, vulnerable self where you're coming before the Lord like this.

Lord, I I have mercy on me, a sinner.

I can say that the Lord can fill me with his grace, but if I'm not able to really say that, I'll tell you, I have people that have that come to confession and they'll say, I haven't been to confession in let's say five years or 10 years.

And they'll say, like, and this is not to judge, I'm trying to give examples so that we can learn, right?

So they'll say something like, Well, I haven't been to mass, um, I've said some few bad words, I've had some road rage, and um um, I think that's it.

And I say, Wait, you haven't been to confession in five years, and that's it.

And I say, Well, can I help you?

Right?

Let's let's break open the the 10 commandments here.

Let's go down through all the 10 commandments, and then we'll start listing all the 10 commandments and that.

Oh, oh yeah, I've done that.

Oh, and I do that, and oh, I'm guilty of that.

And and so it's it's maybe and and what's maybe what the key to all of this and and this homily this weekend is are we doing a good examination of conscience, right?

Coming before the Lord, coming before the blessed sacrament, or sitting in your favorite place and home where you may, and we need to create a sacred space in your house where where you spend time with Jesus and where we really look at that interior, like why?

Because as we've been talking about, the Lord wants to to stretch us and and uh and and ask us to grow more.

So to be able to say, okay, where do I need to grow?

Where have I failed you?

What are my mistakes?

What to continue to make sure that that self-awareness is there.

Yeah, that brings up a great point.

Um, something that we've been talking about over and over again is like our faith has to grow.

And an example would be if we are preparing for confession the same now as we did when we were five or when we were 10 or when we were 13 years old.

I mean, and that's really the case for a lot of people is the way that they even prepare for confession has not changed.

And so, you know, going after five years, of course, like this is this is how I do it, and not really taking it a step deeper into the like where are these sins coming from?

Like, what's the what's the root?

What are the ties, you know, in my own story.

And one of the things that I tell people is you need to find a priest who you can completely vomit, divulge, bring to the sacrament exactly what your sins are.

Because if you don't have that priest in your life, find somebody else.

I can't tell you how many people, because they know me, they will come to me and it's not that they want to impress me, but they they don't want to seem I'm not that bad.

And I have to remind them, I said, I don't want, I don't want you to tell me what I want to hear.

I want to save you, I want to walk with you.

I'm not judging you.

And trust me, you're not gonna tell me anything that I've never heard before, right?

So, my greatest desire for you is that you unleash it all, that you are absolutely free when you walk out of the sacrament.

Because I something I remind people is that a sin that you don't give to the Lord, a sin that you harbor or keep there, it stays there in the darkness.

And the devil's the owner of that.

And it will continue to gnaw at you and and destroy you until you're able to bring it to light.

Because see, here's the thing: Jesus can't heal at the root of the problem until it's truly brought to him.

But then again, there's there's a lot of things that are so shameful, so hurtful that and and so ugly that people don't there, they just don't want to say it or they don't want to bring it to the sacrament.

So they think that, well, maybe if I just I if I'm able to share all of this, Lord, um, then that'll be you'll know of my uh that I'm contrite.

But I really think that to be free, totally free, is to find that priest or to find the courage and and the humility to come to the Lord raw and say you're this is who I am, this is how I've sinned, these are my sins, this is everything that I've done.

Have mercy on me, Lord, a sinner.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah, and if you use um the analogy of the doctor, like if you actually want to be healed, like you're not gonna be like, okay, well, only like heal this part, this like little part I'm gonna give to you, but like the gaping wound underneath, or like, you know, underneath the scar, there's you know, an infection.

Like, if we're not gonna expose everything to the Lord for healing, then we can't expect for transformation to happen.

Exactly right.

I I remember a couple of years ago I was talking to there's a lot of doctors that go to St.

Augustine.

We I was talking about, I don't remember what it was, it was at a dinner, and they were talking about how this patient was basically lying to the doctor about his alcohol consumption and having major problems of liver and saying, No, no, I don't, I I really don't drink.

I I don't have a drink.

But then later on, with all the testing and everything, they're saying, but why aren't you truthful?

Right?

It's it's and there's something about that, the shame and the guilt, and and and I hope that it's my prayer that I can always when someone comes to confession, that I can say, I want to walk with you, I want to help you to finally be free from this.

And if you're embarrassed to say to me, go to another priest, find someone else that that can that can help you to do a good confession.

And another aspect of this is, and I um somebody listening is probably gonna say, Oh gosh, you know, father's being hard, but a lot of priests can relate to this.

Many times uh someone will say, right before mass is starting, or right at the end of mass, or oh father, can you hear my confession?

It's I promise it's only gonna be two minutes, or or I wanna, I want, and and that's fine if the priest has time, hear the confession.

But what that shows is that one, we can't treat the sacrament as cheap grace, right?

And two, did you really truly go before the Lord and do a good examination of conscience?

And perhaps maybe the punishment, or not the punishment, but the the way that we can manage this is to say, Well, I'm not gonna go to communion.

I'm gonna wait.

Why?

Because I haven't been good.

I have I I've failed you, Lord.

I I'm in mortal sin and I'm gonna wait.

When is when are the times for confession?

I'm gonna, okay, it's Saturday.

Today is Wednesday.

I'm going to prepare my heart and and make the time to go on Saturday, but not just at, you know, last minute.

Last minute.

Hey, hey, Father, can you hear my confession?

I mean, even with that, there's kind of like a whole reorientation of what you're talking about of like understanding the gift of grace and also like that it's it's not something to squeeze into our life, but like this readiness, this preparation, there's so much more available to us if we give like the time and that and put it in the right place in our life.

So I think what you're talking about is a huge thing, um, even preparing for confession.

I'm from conversations with many people, I this is a place where people struggle.

They don't know how to prepare well for confession.

Right.

And so they really are going in how they were when they were younger.

And so to have like a mature and growing confession, like understanding of confession, but also an ability to prepare themselves to look at their life, um, but also to look at their fears, to look at their the lies that they believe like to really go deep into their um the areas of struggle.

Like it's a it's a big call for maturity in our spiritual life to actually put the time in.

It is.

And when you're a priest and you're hearing someone or you're receiving their confession, you could always tell those people who are giants in holiness.

And those giants see themselves as sinners, completely vulnerable and and and and able to really pinpoint what are those areas that that that disappoint the Lord and they're so good at it.

And it's exactly what you're saying.

It's how do I learn to go to confession?

How do I how do I make use of this sacrament?

Yeah, because I think of the Pharisee and the tax collector.

Both are praying and looking at their life, but one is looking at like his life and all his resume, all the good that he's doing, which is those are good things.

Um, and the other is looking at like the area that needs God's mercy most.

Right.

And, you know, the one that receives God's mercy is the one that's asking for it, you know, and not just kind of highlighting his good works and his perfection.

Um, so maybe you can share a bit more, because you talked about um that sometimes in confession people try to defend their perfection, you know, like um that it leaves less room for grace when we try to kind of uphold an image of no we're holy, no, we're we're trying our best.

Or could you speak a little bit more into like right?

So there's two angles to that.

Like the first one, like you're talking about right now, where the Pharisee is is trying to defend himself and saying, No, but I am good and I I'm not that bad.

I didn't murder anyone, and thank God I'm not like these people because I I do what what I'm told, and but there's a danger to that.

Worry about you again.

There's that whole theory of comparison, it's a coping mechanism because there's something fundamentally wrong, there's something deeper to that, but then also too a danger on the other side of, and sometimes I see it with scrupulosity or false humility, false humility that I'm really not good.

Uh I'm I am this wretched sinner that needs to be punished, and that I I I can't even be saved.

And there's a danger in that too.

So, what's the middle ground?

The middle ground.

What's true humility?

Right.

True humility is being able to make that act of uh that that contrition, but that in that examination of conscience is what gives you balance and health, in the sense that it's not you in your mind, but to be able to read something and to say, oh, I I'm falling into that.

And and this is, and because the church gives us really good parameters for us to follow.

And if you're not sure, and you and if you don't know if you're falling into false humility or or pride or whatever it is, follow a the follow what the church already teaches you and and how it helps you to go to confession.

And so what would be um, because I hear what you're saying, where like there's the pride and then the false humility and kind of that middle ground of like seeing things as they truly are.

So being able to see that I am a sinner and need a God's mercy, but God delights in saving me.

And so being able to like see things as they are, but also invite God to be God and like exactly right, because there's another aspect of that too, is where it and and it's all part of this relativism where I kind of determine what the world is or what sin is, what sin is not.

And so there can also be a tendency to, well, you know, I don't really think the church says it's a sin, but I'm not hurting anybody and I I'm a good person, and so I kind of I I I can forgive myself or I I am the one that kind of can say if it's bad or if it's not bad.

There's a danger in that.

Well, that makes you God if you're calling the shots on what's good and what's evil, um, and not going off of like what the creator has designed it for.

Right.

Yeah, that's a big danger.

That's also I think part of um the hardship of people going to confession is rationalizing their sin, being able to be like, well, it's not so bad, or you know, I didn't do it as much as other people, or um and kind of I think one of the lessons that you shared in your homely was like it's the invitation to be honest, like the God asks of us is is to have like a raw honesty.

Um, and that's what you need in relationship.

But also, I think that shows you that so many relationships are so broken because they're not really honest, you know, like in all aspects, and I think you're touching on something that's so important is in your business dealings and how you deal with colleagues and how you deal with your spouse or your children, are you honest?

And and you know, the scripture says to us if you're if you're good about small things, you're gonna be good about bad uh larger issues, but if you're not good or honest on smaller issues, you're not you're gonna be a disaster with bigger issues.

And and so if you're able to to live in a household where I'm gonna be a man or a woman of integrity, and this it is what it is, and I I I this is how I live my life, um you're able to really have a good, healthy, balanced life.

And that that that's should speak volume.

I think that that's the foundation is I'm gonna live and try to live a very honest life that that people can say, wow, that's that's integrity.

Right?

And I think the first step is being honest with God.

And even especially the gift of confession is is that is that we can literally go and be honest and raw honest with God.

It's a great place to practice it, to be able to like really pour out a raw honesty of our of our of our weaknesses, of our sinfulness, um, and to be loved there.

Because I feel like that's also uh people stay away from confessions because they think they're gonna be condemned and not received with mercy.

So it's a misunderstanding of even who God is, you know, God is mercy, God is love.

Um, but it's a great practice of growing in that integrity to be able to work on going to confession in a way that we can be raw, honest to really allow grace to go to those places of roots to heal and to transform.

Yeah, because confession is not God discovering what you did wrong.

He already knows what you did wrong.

Right.

Isn't that shocking?

Like isn't it shocking?

It's God reminding you that you are still love in despite of.

And that truth is so profound, and I feel like it just needs to be repeated so many times because I think that's many people don't approach confession that way.

They don't.

And I remember uh Pope Francis would say that the confessional should not be looked at as this torture chamber.

Hmm.

That's a strong word.

But yeah, but people see it like that.

How many people do you know that say, I haven't been to confession?

And it's like this scary thing, or maybe they had a really bad experience.

One of the things that I I like to teach in when I do uh um I teach at the seminary and I tell the guys, I remind the seminarians that when they eventually hopefully become priests and they're hearing confessions, those confessions that they have of the little kids need to be a good experience for those little kids.

Because you want them to be able to say, Oh, I went to confession, it wasn't bad.

I the actually the priest was great, and then that continues on in their life where it was always a very good experience.

Yeah, because people you know this will avoid confession at all costs.

Especially if they had an experience that they felt like they weren't hurt, or you know, there's many layers to the why of that, but like if they had a bad conf uh experience, it can kind of have a bad taste in our mouth and not approach it again.

And a lot of people have had really bad experiences, and which is unfortunate.

Yeah, it's very unfortunate.

But you know, like Saint Therese Lisa a little way, holiness is not found in perfection, but it's found in trusting mercy.

And I love that.

That is beautiful.

The road of perfection, not perfectionism.

And that's a huge trap that um is really easy to fall into is we look at our spiritual life as like check boxes or things to like, okay, I do that, I do that, kind of like the Pharisee, where it looks good on paper, um, but inside we're far from God or our heart is not in it.

And I think it's something that we spoke about last week, where uh this inner battlefield, because the human condition is a heart that's divided.

Right.

And um, and so when we do come to prayer, we go to confession, there's this whole, yes, I I want repentance, but there's also a pride prideful side that will sneak in, or I'm so used to acting with pride that I even bring it into confession, or I even bring it into my conversations, and so that's where we really need to figure out who am I?

And again, it goes back to uh not comparing ourselves to others because if I don't know who I am, that's gonna be my coping mechanism.

Let me see this because maybe that's gonna teach me or help me be a better person or find fulfillment, find happiness in this world.

And that's dangerous.

That's where it's whether where your parish, um, where you're you're going to Bible studies, you're doing different formation nights, or or even serving in a ministry can teach you who you are.

You're his beloved.

Yeah, and and confession renews our our baptismal graces.

And at the end of the day, I think that's the hope is that we're restored and baptism, we're healed, but back to the truth of who we are, which is beloved son or daughter of the father.

Absolutely, 100%.

And it goes back again to that Ignatius exam and practice daily self-reflection, something that trains humility, trains you in gratitude.

Um, because a lot of people think that humility is thinking less of yourself.

No, that's not that's not humility.

It's it's thinking of yourself less, right?

Um and I I think that helps in every aspect of your life, in every relationship, every social situation that you're in.

If you're gonna be humble and you're gonna be grateful, you're gonna see the world differently, you're gonna act differently.

How many people, even in their workplace, uh uh work in a very toxic, uh bad environment because one, they allow themselves to be taken away from criticism, being judgmental, giving into gossip, or or allowing others to bring them into to sin.

And we gotta teach people to say no, there's uh a standard, there's a way of living that I'm not gonna compromise.

Um, and and that's and that's what we're hopefully trying to teach people, right?

Yeah.

Well, Father, we just have a minute here wrapping up.

Is there anything as we close up today?

I know.

30 minutes is fast.

Um, but any kind of closing uh reflection or yeah, what I would say is which voice will you let you speak this week to really, as you're going through your day, uh going through your week, really pray on this gospel, pray about this homily.

Uh, that we do have these two voices in our lives.

And how what decision or what what's blocking you from engaging in a deeper discipleship or a deeper relationship with the Lord?

If you haven't been to confession, come to confession, go if it hasn't been a if it's been a long time, sacrifice your pride, sacrifice the ego, go to confession, sit with Father.

Even if you don't know, say, Father, I haven't been for a long time.

Can you help me?

Yeah, and I think even people to say, like, Father, I'm gonna give you a raw confession.

You know, like you want to give them a warning, go for it.

Whatever's gonna help you be honest and be present and be real.

Um, I also would recommend like Googling, you know, adult confession preparation, like something like read a new type of examination of conscience to be able to go a little bit deeper into reflecting on your own life and the areas of struggle and weakness.

Yeah, and if you haven't been in confession for a long time and you don't remember the act of contrition, very simple.

You can use this gospel for that to say, God, be merciful to me, a sinner.

That's your act of contrition.

There, I mean, that's beautiful.

I'm gonna write that one down.

It's a lot shorter.

I like that.

When you bow low, heaven lifts you up.

So wonderful.

Be humble, be grateful, walk with the Lord, really truly give your life to Jesus, and I promise you you will find fulfillment.

Wonderful.

Well, that's it for today.

Thank you for.

for listening in.

This was the Heart of the Homily Podcast.

And feel free to join us on the weekends or get involved with our community at St.

Augustine Church.

So thank you so much, Father.

Thanks, Michelle.

See you next week.