Your Stress Isn't the Whole Story

Wes McAdams: After a sermon is over, have you ever wanted to make a comment, ask a question, or listen to the preacher say more about a particular idea? If so, this podcast is for you. My name is Wes McAdams, and I'll be sitting down with one of my fellow McDermott Road ministers to discuss comments, questions, and thoughts that have come up after the sermon is over. Welcome to P.S., the Post-Sermon Podcast. Thanks so much for listening to P.S., the Post Sermon Podcast. To find out more about this podcast or about the Church of Christ on McDermott Road, you can visit our website at ccmcdermott.org slash P.S. If this has been an encouragement to you, we also hope you will rate and review the show wherever you're listening, as well as share it with a friend. Because we believe sermons are not just for Sunday, but for our whole week and our whole life.

Barrett: Welcome and or welcome back to the Post Sermon Podcast. My name's Barrett and I am joined as always by Wes McAdams, our preaching minister here at the McDermott Road Church of Christ. How are you, Wes?

Wes McAdams: I'm great. How are you, Barrett?

Barrett: Doing very well for a Tuesday morning, a little behind the scenes, day later than normal, but hopefully ⁓ everyone that joins us has joined us and not given up on us for it being a day late. ⁓ but hope everyone enjoyed the holiday yesterday. Sunday had a great sermon from Wes from Philippians 4, specifically ⁓ verses 2 through 9, which are great. and had some Real great one liners for sure, but as we've already heard from ⁓ some of

Wes McAdams: I try to work those in on the weeks that I'm gonna be talking to you on the PS podcast so that 'cause I know you really appreciate the one liners.

Barrett: Yeah. Yeah. I the the jokes are highlights for me for sure. But what we heard from ⁓ some of our summer interns who joined us ⁓ on Sunday and are gonna be with us through the summer that they really enjoyed how much ⁓ this sermon was pulled straight from the text and I said, ⁓ that's ⁓ that's that's good that she noticed but I was also like, That's every week, that's West for ya, you know. but walking out into the lobby on Sunday, ⁓ a mention of this

Wes McAdams: I appreciate that.

Barrett: to you a pre-show that there were I mean, no joke, a dozen people andor families that said this was this sermon was for me. ⁓ this one, you know, meant a lot to me, stepped on my toes, you know, some version of I needed to hear that. We're right in the middle of a stressful season. ⁓ because you you did a great job of again, we're in the series Don't Freak Out and talking about stress and different flavors of stress and how do we respond to stress? What do we do ⁓ with stress? And I liked ⁓ that you started there, you know, asking everyone, you said it's gonna be a little different, a little interactive, which I always appreciate, kind of, you know, warming the crowd up, introducing them to a new idea, even if it is just raising their hand. But ⁓ you know, asking them, you know, let me, you know, how how stressed have you been? Have you been stressed this week? I think was the exact question. But ⁓ So to ask you the same question, how stressed have you been? What are some of the things stressing you out?

Wes McAdams: Yeah. It's a great question. That's a great question. It's so funny because the series is about family and it and it's about n not freaking out. And so when we talk about family, sometimes w other things stress us out. And then our family pays the consequence. And that definitely happens with me. My job, you know, I love ministry. I love preaching. But there are times when that's stressful. I I've I've got a lot going on right now. I'm getting ready for the summer. We've got lots of speaking engagements and traveling different places, going to church camp and different things. And so that's a little stressful. And again, I'm not a great dad or a great husband or a great son or a great brother when I'm stressed out. And so I have to recognize that. But then on the other hand, sometimes our family is the source of our stress. And so I've got two teenage boys who are fantastic and wonderful. I love my boys, but you know, they are a ⁓ Going into senior and ⁓ sophomore year of high school. And so they've got a lot going on in their life. And I'm stressed about all of that. And so, yes, so ⁓ sometimes our family pays the consequence for our stress, but sometimes our family is the source of our stress and we don't parent well. We d we're not great spouses or even just followers of Jesus when we're stressed out. And so we're really thinking about and talking about peace and and dealing well with our stress and it's I'm glad you started here because it's what I told everyone who told me I needed to hear that this week. I told them, well, I was really just preaching to myself. So if it applied to you, great. But I needed to hear it as well.

Barrett: Yeah, that's what I felt like ⁓ as well. Meg, yeah, it's for you, it's for all of us. We are living in very stressful times, like situationally and circumstantially and also relationally, because I think all of our relationships feel the stress of, you know, different scenarios and just the stress of the times, which ⁓ are are many, but You did a great job it wi with several things and and I really liked how you kept coming back to this phrase and and really a lens for us to look at this scripture through and and our lives through, but you know, coming back to in the Lord. For someone, you know, listening who's like, Yeah, it sounds great, you know, everything in the Lord, agreeing in the Lord. and I have shied away from saying Euodia and Syntaiki is how I said

Wes McAdams: You know, I knew when I I pronounced it that there were gonna be all different kinds of pronunciations. I say Syntachy, but who knows? I don't know if that's right or not. You're probably right, I'm probably wrong. If there's anything Greek or Hebrew, I'm probably gonna say it right.

Barrett: Well, I'm gonna disagree and say that I'm for sure wrong, but as long as no one's saying it's Sintaich, you know, that person's wrong. But yeah, we can all agree Sin Taich is definitely not it. But ⁓ yeah, it starts with a very, you know,

Wes McAdams: Right. We can all agree about that.

Barrett: relational situation, right? And talking about these ladies not getting along it, but then hey, we need you to agree and not just to agree, but to agree in the Lord. ⁓ and so for somebody that, like I said, is listening and they say, Hey, I hear ya, that sounds great, but what does that look like? How do you explain agreeing in the Lord? and where do we forget to bring that into the right context? Like what are some areas that you're like, we need to talk about this in the in the Lord context?

Wes McAdams: Yeah. Yeah. That word context is something that I kept coming back to a lot on Sunday was just that we have to remember that our problems and our situations and our relationships and our conflicts and our stress all has to be put into the context of the gospel. And so we're trying to contextualize our problems. We're trying to contextualize our relationships. So it's not just enough that I am a husband or I'm a father or I'm a friend or I'm a brother or whatever. Or even an employee, I need to do everything that I do in the Lord. In other words, I need to remember that I'm doing this not just as a husband, not just as a father, but I'm doing this as a citizen of the kingdom of God. I am doing this as someone who has been liberated, set free, redeemed by Jesus, and who is filled with the Holy Spirit, who belongs to the Lord. And so what would that look like if I contextualize my problem in light of the good news, in light of who the Lord is, in light of what he has done and what he is doing and what he will do? That's when we have to we have to remember that this conflict that's going on in Philippi, he encourages them to agree. But as I said on Sunday, it's not just get along or figure it out. He's saying agree in the Lord. Remember that you both belong to Jesus, that you are citizens of his kingdom. And I I really think that for me anyway, when I stop and I remember that and I put my problems in that context, it changes everything. It doesn't make my problem go away, but it helps me to say, okay, well, in light of the good news, this problem that I'm dealing with isn't quite so big. It's not quite so daunting. It's not quite so intimidating or overwhelming when I remember Good news. And I think that's what Paul did. I think that's how he dealt with his imprisonments, is he remembered that yes, this imprisonment is bad and it's unjust and they shouldn't be doing this to me. It's not like he wanted to go through his suffering, but he also recognized that this doesn't compare with the weight of glory that I'm going to inherit. This doesn't compare with all of the good things that are coming my way. I often use as an example: like if you knew that you were going to inherit a billion dollars. Like you knew that your great uncle died and he left you a billion dollars. Even if you don't have that billion dollars in your bank account today, it changes how you deal with the small problems that come up today. Like somebody find you a hundred dollars, you're like, who cares? It's a hundred dollars. I I have a billion dollars coming. Yeah, yeah, but you don't have the billion dollars yet. So what? I will have that billion dollars. What we have in Christ is so much bigger and better than that. And so it should change the way we feel about and handle our problems and how we get along with each other because we recognize who we are and what we have in Christ Jesus. But so often we leave that out of the equation and we're just dealing with our problems and our situations and our relationships isolated from the good news.

Barrett: Mm. That's so good. Again, free podcast. Can't believe it's free. y you said sometimes church feels like the one place we're not allowed to be stressed or that stress is kind of man, a and I've talked to youth group kids about this for years of like, I really don't want you to just say you're fine. You know, we've heard that some version of that lesson taught before of like if you ask a brother or sister in Christ how they're doing and they tell you fine and then you find out, you know, that they're not, it's like, ⁓ that's doing everybody a disservice. But it does feel like sometimes that's the quickest and easiest answer and that it's better to just not be honest but instead be polite and ⁓ Why why do you think that culture exists in in church and how do we go about starting that change and making that shift from I'm fine, I'll harbor my stress over here and keep it from you as my support system, as my church family, and I'll just tell you I'm okay.

Wes McAdams: Yeah. I think part of it, and we can talk more about this later, but I think part of it is misreading passages like we talked about on Sunday. Be anxious for nothing. And we interpret that idea as I'm not supposed to be anxious. I'm not supposed to be stressed. I'm not supposed to worry. Therefore, it's a sin for me to do that. And so I don't want to come here and admit I'm not as holy as the people who don't worry. I'm not as Perfect as the people who have peace. I struggle with stress and anxiety. And so therefore I must not be as good of a Christian. And I think that's what we have taught, unfortunately and unintentionally, we've taught people that you're not as good of a Christian or you're not as holy if you're worried or stressed. And that's why I began the sermon this week by saying, Did you know that the people who wrote the Bible were also stressed? So

Barrett: Like that.

Wes McAdams: Yes, you need to recognize not just Paul, as we talked about on Sunday, but the Psalms. So many of the psalms are written by someone who is stressed out, whether that's David or someone else, who is incredibly stressed. Jesus hanging on the cross was stressed out. His body was stressed, his emotions were stressed, his relationship with God was stressed. And I think that's part of how we could change the culture is appreciating what scripture actually says, but also. Like singing the psalms, we need to learn how to lament. Like we have created a culture of celebration and joy, and that's fine and good. We should celebrate. We should be joyful. As we said on Sunday, because of the cross and because of the reign of Jesus, there is always something to rejoice about. But it can't just be rejoicing. It can't just be celebration. There are also things that we need to lament. We need to lament injustice. We need to lament. We need to lament suffering. We need to lament death. And we we somehow have left that out of our worship, even though that is a a lot of the Psalms. It's a lot of the scriptures. There's an entire book of the Bible called Lamentations. We need to learn how to say, this is horrible. Lord, come quickly. We need your help. We need your righteousness. This is, I think, what Jesus means when he says, Blessed are those who hunger and thirst. For righteousness. He's not talking about imputed righteousness, like, Lord, I want you to make me righteous. I think he's saying they hunger and thirst for the justice of God. We want God's righteousness. We want God's justice to be served. We want to be set free by his righteous acts of justice. We need to learn how to say that in worship. We need to learn how to say that with each other to yes. celebrate where other people are celebrating, but also weep where they're weeping. And and I think we would recognize that we have permission to be sad and to cry and to be stressed and to say what's on our heart and to be honest about our situation if we would learn to worship the way the Bible teaches us to worship.

Barrett: Well, and I loved what you said about rejoice always i i is cruel unless it's rejoicing, again, back to that lens, in the Lord, right? So how do we hold on to joy and and without being dismissive or, you know, of real pain or and how do we Rejoice and worship and be joyful and are happy with those who are happy and then also if we're mourning in our own life or when we're talking to somebody else about their difficult situation of like I wanna be always rejoicing. But, you know, your situation, this sounds terrible. How do we how do we do both of those things? What does that look like?

Wes McAdams: Yeah, yeah. The way I like to say it, I say this all the time that hope is the ability to hold joy in one hand and grief in the other. Like that's what hope is. And that's the kind of rejoicing that Paul is encouraging people to do is hopeful rejoicing, so that we can acknowledge what is wrong, the bad news, but we also acknowledge what is right, the good news. And and really, the good news is so good because the bad news is so bad. If it was, if the bad news Wasn't so bad if we really were just fine. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm good, everything's good, everything's fine. If we had no tears, then what good would it be to have a God who wipes away every tear? Like God wiping away our tears is so powerful and so good and so hopeful because our tears are so bitter, because our pain is so deep, because our problems are so big. To say God will fix this, God will solve this, God will do this good thing, and already has and already is doing this good thing, we only appreciate that in light of the bad news. But if we don't allow people to grieve and we don't allow people to mourn and weep and be sad and be stressed, then they have no idea why is the good news so good. If death is not a big deal, if if pain is not a big deal, if we're supposed to just face everything like a stoic and say, well, you know, just whatever happens, happens, and that's just the way it was meant to happen. And we just have to accept it. If that's the way we approach it, then the good news is not really good. Then the hope is not really hopeful. But when we acknowledge that yes, this pain is so heavy and so real and so big, but the good news outweighs that, it's so much bigger and so much better. Then we have a true and deeper, more more nuanced of perspective and appreciation for the good news of what God has done, is doing, and will do.

Barrett: think we're gonna end the podcast talking some more about that exactly, so ⁓ I won't get too far ahead of myself. But the double anxious line, ⁓ I almost called it a joke. It's not a joke, but it was it got a huge laugh in first service. ⁓ I I don't wanna tell it, you tell it. Walk me through the 'cause even just the way you said it, like I think y if you were trying to be funny, you would write it differently. But you just said

Wes McAdams: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, probably. I wasn't trying to be funny.

Barrett: Yeah, sure. So t tell us tell us what got the big pop and then I'll tell you why I think it did.

Wes McAdams: Yeah. I said I said I think it's Second Service the way I said it was I always have a love-hate relationship with these kinds of passages that say, Don't be anxious or don't be afraid or don't worry. Because when I read that, now I get anxious that I'm anxious. I get worried that I'm worried. And so I feel guilty that I've had these feelings. And now I guess I'm not supposed to. And so I was stressed about the situation, but now I'm stressed that I was stressed, and then it's just a vicious cycle. So again, it's not really a joke. It's not really trying to be funny, but People laughed as if I told a hilarious joke.

Barrett: Yeah. Yeah, in first service especially, like you had to pause. Like it was I mean, an uproar for a moment. And I think that is because it is so relatable. I mean, that is just overwhelmingly exceptionally relatable for people of like, yeah, we we know the word. We know we're not supposed to be anxious. And so the the idea of dealing with it and

Wes McAdams: Yeah. It's true.

Barrett: it being so prominent in our lives, different stress and anxieties is is like, yes, we have felt that before of like, I know I'm not supposed to be, but boy am I. so, you know, you talked about don't be anxious. It isn't meant to make us feel guilty but more reassured, and that is a big shift. You know, do you want to talk some about the the difference between like conviction and and shame when it comes to anxiety and worry and that sort of thing?

Wes McAdams: Yeah, that's really on us as as the church, as preachers and teachers, that we have taught it this way, I think. And and whether we've taught it explicitly, explicitly this way or not, it's definitely the implicit message that people have received. I've received it. I've received this idea that if you were really Righteous and holy and good and really following Jesus, then you wouldn't be stressed out. And if you are stressed out, that means that you're not doing a very good job of following Him. And so your stress is your fault, it's your problem. You need to shape up, you know, you need to stop being stressed out. As if you could just turn anxiety off or turn stress off or turn worry and fear off. You can't just turn them off. There's no light switch. But when you listen to your father saying, I love you. And I'm here with you. When you listen to your big brother, who is the king who has conquered sin and death, say, I am at hand, I am near, and I love you. And you don't have to be anxious. You don't have to worry. You have nothing to be afraid of. That's reassuring. And that does begin to calm our fears. It does begin to address our anxiety and our stress. But people double down on their stress and anxiety when you just tell them, stop it, knock it off, don't be that way. I think about that Bob Newhart skit. I don't know if you've ever seen that, where Bob Newhart is playing a a psychiatrist and somebody comes in and and she has these worries. And so his solution to everything is just say, stop it, stop it. Don't do that anymore.

Barrett: Yeah, stuff.

Wes McAdams: That's exactly how we've handled people with stress and anxiety and fear and worry in the church. And it's a shame because it doesn't make it better. In fact, it makes it so much worse. We have to, we have to preach the gospel. And the gospel is: God loves you. He loves you so much, he was willing to die for you. That's how much he loves you. And if he's willing to do that for you, why are you going to allow this situation, whatever it is that you're going through, Cause you to lose the peace and the hope and the joy that he's trying to give you. And so don't throw that away based on the situation. Remember who he is and what he has done and what he is doing right now, presently, on your behalf, that he's near. It's the same way that a parent tries to reassure their kid when they're afraid of the boogeyman, if they're afraid of a monster under the bed, dad comes in and says, You don't have to worry. You don't have to be afraid. Dad isn't saying, You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Why don't you why don't you, you know, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and stop being so scared? That's not what he's saying. He's saying you don't have to be afraid. I'm here. I will protect you. And that's what God is saying to us.

Barrett: That's so good. I heard an old ⁓ street joke this week about ⁓ I may not be the best doctor, but I'd be an efficient doctor. Yeah, I can't move my arm like this or it hurts. Well don't do that. That'll be a million bucks. Yeah. If

Wes McAdams: Right. Right.

Barrett: Well we'll kind of wrap up on a couple of different things here. But last question pertaining to the sermon. You you had a great point that I missed the first time, ⁓ in service, but when I was re listening to ⁓ the sermon, you know, you said we have a tendency and and maybe a problem, I c forget exactly how you phrased it, but we tend to read scripture therapeutically and like addressing our feelings of like I feel this way and I don't want to feel this way. So I'm reading it therapeutically versus theologically. And I think That's kind of one of the big ideas, obviously, from the sermon. What we've talked about already, what Paul is referencing of like, yeah, there is the story, but then there's the bigger story. And so you said your stress is part of the story, but not the whole story. And what helps you, what should help us remember that the bigger story is what it's all about, especially when our emotions are telling us otherwise.

Wes McAdams: Yeah. Yeah. I I hate to talk bad about other preachers and teachers and like other ways of reading the Bible, but I do hear so much preaching and teaching that is therapeutic but not theological. And and people just taking these verses out of context, out of the context of the gospel, ironically, and just telling people, well, think about positive things. Well, Paul does tell them to think about positive things. He does tell them to rejoice. He tells them not to be anxious about anything. But all of it is in the context of the Lord's reign, of who Jesus is and what Jesus has done. And I think that we take solace from verses like this out of context, but it's a false hope. Because we we sometimes we tell ourselves a different story based on these verses pulled out of context. A story that says, I'm strong, I I'm able, I can do this thing, I can get through this problem. Well, that's not That's not Paul's encouragement. He's not saying, You're strong, I'm strong. We can get through this if we really believe in ourselves. Like that's not what he's saying. He's saying that this situation is bad, but the Lord is bigger and the Lord is stronger. And he's not even saying this situation is going to get better. Just wait, hold on. You know, every every cloud has a silver lining. You know, every time God closes a door, he opens a window. He's not giving them these sort of trite, ⁓ Ideas, these ⁓ fortune cookie ideas. Like he's he's telling them, yes, everything is going to be better, but maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, maybe not for a thousand years. But the Lord is coming and he will set everything right. God is a God who keeps his promises. God is just. And you know, I mean, in the moment, you know, when I'm stressed out about something, like I do want to know. Is this situation going to get better? Am I going to be able to pay my bills? Am I am I going to get over this illness? Is my loved one that that is sick, are they going to get better? My my kid who's making a decision that I wish that they wouldn't make, are they going to start making better decisions? I would like for you to reassure me that this problem is going to get fixed right now. But if I had to choose, and if I had to choose between, hey, I can give you this temporary solution. That that might solve your problem for a minute, and then you're gonna have another problem, and then that problem's gonna lead to a different problem, and then yeah, this is gonna get better, but then this other thing is gonna happen. Or I can promise you that I don't know what's gonna happen right now, but I can promise you what's gonna happen in the end, and that everything is gonna be set right, and that you are going to be immortal and that you're gonna reign with Jesus forever. Like if I had to choose between those two reassurances, give me the gospel. Every time. Like that might not make my situation today better, but it helps me put it into context so that I am reassured, so that I do have hope, so that I do have joy, so that I do have peace. Not because this situation is going to be temporarily fixed, but so that I know that long after this problem is long gone, Jesus is still going to be on the throne. Jesus is still going to be reigning, and Jesus is still going to make everything right. See, I think we give people these easy answers that aren't even always true. Like we we try to reassure each other, like, ⁓ it's gonna get better, it's gonna get better. Maybe, maybe not. Like maybe this is the one that gets you. I I don't know. But I do know that if you have faith in Jesus, if you are a loyal follower of his, that he is gonna raise you from the dead and you are gonna live forever. That's what's reassuring. That's what gives people joy. That's what gives people hope. And so we need to stop. It's almost like the difference between eating a meal that is truly satisfying, that that really does deal with your hunger, that nourishes you and makes you better and stronger, or having cheap calories, having a snack that feels good for a moment, but that sugar high is going to cause you to crash and you're going to be worse afterwards than you were before.

Barrett: Great illustration. Loved it. Thank you, Wes, for the sermon on Sunday. Thank you for your time today. Where are we going next week in this series?

Wes McAdams: Yeah, next week we're gonna talk about sin in our family. Don't freak out when there's sin in our family. How do we address and how do we navigate when our family, when family members are making decisions that not just we don't like, but that are wrong, that we know are wrong. How do we not freak out in a situation like that? So often our first response when our kid, our spouse, our our parents sometimes, when they make sinful decisions, our first reaction is panic. It's anger, it's outrage. How could we possibly stay calm? How can we be content? How can we have peace when our family members are choosing sin?

Barrett: Man, that one is gonna be great. ⁓ can't wait. and I really appreciate how, again, coming from the text, ⁓ but so practical, and I enjoy our practical conversations when we get to have them afterwards of just what does that look like, what does that feel like in the application piece ⁓ of this sermon. So thanks again, Wes, and thank you all for listening and for watching. If you're joining us via video, we appreciate that as well. ⁓ and we hope that you'll leave comments below and questions and send in your questions each week. We would love to discuss what you all want to discuss. So again, thank you so much. I appreciate all of you. We'll talk to ya and see ya and all of those things next time.