Trust God Even When Life Feels Uncertain

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Mark, because you were saying Pastor Mike is one of

the presbyters and another two are dead, like yes, I'm next, Amen,

how's everybody doing today? It's going to be back in Summerset.

It was three years ago we celebrated the twenty fifth

anniversary of the church and Pastor Marr showed me a

picture in the newspaper. Was that last Saturday? Last week?

Was that right after you got here? I don't know

when you look like you were like in high school

or something. Your picture was in the newspaper. And now

look at him. You're the ones who calls all that

gray hair. I just want jim up at. This is Genie,

my wife, and we just got married not long ago,

and it's been good. It's been a long time ago.

A you may want to say, honey, well, I did

get tickled when Pastor Mark was saying that he and

my husband, you know, asually communicate.

About once a week.

Well, your pastor's wife and I.

We communicate daily.

You know, women are a relation, all right, And so

we communicate daily.

And sometimes multiple times during a day. And it's good.

It's good. Uh.

Psalm twenty five, verse two says, Oh, my God, in

you I trust, Let me not be put to shame,

Let my enemies.

Not exalt over me.

And then it says, make me know your ways. Oh Lord,

teach me your past, lead me in your truth, and

teach me, for you are the God of my salvation.

And I think that's one of the reasons why I

am so close to your pastor's wife.

Jeanette trusts God. Janette wants God to.

Teach her his past, lead her in truth.

And you know why.

She wants that so that she can lead you, and

so that God can lead her, so she can lead you.

She is here to impart into you.

She desires to impart God's truth into your life. She

is a wonderful, wonderful woman of God.

And to me, she is my best best friend because

she always challenges me in the truth of God's worth.

You are a blessed people, amen.

I'll tell you one thing about them. They text more

than middle schoolers I'm just telling you. I mean every time.

I mean the first thing Jeannie does when she gets

up in the morning, she doesn't even say hi to me.

She goes starts texting. I said, it must be Jeannette.

It's like non stop.

She's two hours ahead. Does that make you two hours behind? Oh,

it's good to be here in Summer Center on a

beautiful ready day. I was tying fast to Mark that

you know we're in Colorado now that I saw more

rain this morning than I've seen the last year in Colorado,

so it kind of feels good, looks good. You're probably

sick of it, but we really need something, so send

it to us, send it back to the West so

we could have some Hey, just want to brag on

your pastor for a moment, because as a brother, Mark

was saying, we've known each other for a long long

time and I knew him when he didn't have gray hand.

Isn't that something? And we go back a long ways

and relationships are really important. Good relationships are very important,

and you know, just walking through this journey of life together,

there's been a lot of funs. Brother Mark, thank you

for making our lives a lot better knowing who's really

enriched us. And I don't know if I've really shared

very much it would help you. In you I probably

made most of it up, but it seemed to have worked.

But I love being around people that have character and

integrity and they're genuine and they're authentic. You don't find

that much in ministries. You see a lot of production,

and you see a lot of facades, but you don't

see a lot of authenticity. And you have that with

Mark and Jeanette Harold, and I think you ought to

be very grateful and thank God for that. I know

you take it. You take it. You know you take

it for granted that that happens with everybody. It doesn't

happen everywhere. And I've traveled enough now in the last

four years around America and around the world. I'm watching it,

I'm seeing it, and so it is an absolute joy

for us to be here. Both Mark and thank you

for letting us come again. And we just loved being

around both of you, and we loved you. Let's give

God a good hands for both of what's a blessing.

Thanks Marc Castidy. If I would speak on marriage and relationships,

is that okay? And I have to tell something that

happened to me a few months back. I took Genie

in my arms and I looked in those beautiful green

eyes of hers, and I said to her, tell me,

I'm sixy And she did just exactly what you did.

She started laughing. In fact, it was uncontrolled. I've known

her for forty nine years, and I mean it's like

her knees were buckling. She was so I mean, she

was laughing so hard. And I thought, well, I mean

that tells me a lot, just like what you just did.

You laughing, That tells me a lot to about me.

Well help me, Jesus. I want to talk to you

this morning about relationships. I want to give you six

secrets to a happy relationship or a marriage. Now, I

don't know burn Mark and I were from Louisiana. Anybody

from Louisiana this year? Good? The rest of you were

smart enough not to go there. But I mean we

have webs between our toes. Were from Louisiana and they

got people like Boutrou and Tippandeaux. Does he ever tell

you about Boudrou and Timppadeau that like the swamp people?

We know some of those kind of people Boodro and Timpadeaux. Well,

Bunjo has been married to Kotil for a lot of years,

and so Kotil, uh, you know. Boudrou was there and

Kotil says, hey, look at that funny guy over there.

He's been drinking a lot. Bouto said, well, who is he?

She said, Oh, that's my ex who wanted me to

marry him and I denied him marriage. He said, wow,

he's still celebrating his freedom. Boujo said, marriage is like

a three ring circus, engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

And he needs to be in this service because I'm

gonna talk about what it takes to have a good relationship,

and that is enduring. That's the fourth ring and we

need to have is enduring. How many if you want

to have a happy marriage, happy relationship, and by the way,

I don't care if you're married or single, Mexic endforce,

take some notes today because I promise you something can

be life changing today. That could change your relationship. It

could change your marriage, it could change how you get

along together. And I beg the Lord's gonna do something

really great. I've been praying for you, I've been asking

the Lord to open up your heart and soften your heart,

that the seed of this world. We're gonna have some fun.

We're gonna laugh a little bit. Is that all right?

Because marriage and relationships are funny, correct, And if you

don't laugh a lot about them, then you're gonna have

a lot of suffering. Is boudro thinks it's all about?

But you know what, Happiness doesn't come because you smile.

You're not happy just because you smile. Happiness in a

relationship and happiness in a marriage comes because there is harmony.

There's some harmony that comes into our lives. And this

harmony that we're talking about today is going to come

from these six secrets that I want to share with

you about marriage and relationship. Now, I want you to

know that happiness is created because of an atmosphere. Everything

happens in an atmosphere, an atmosphere of harmony. And I

want to read this verse to you Philippians two. Verse two.

This is the new living translation all the apostle writing.

He says, make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with

each other. And watch he says three things. He says

by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other by loving one another

and working together with one heart and purpose. One translation

says to live together in harmony and love. And the

reality is that few marriages are relationships. They have harmony,

they have love, they have unity. Very few have them.

You know, there's a relationship, but there's not always harmony,

and there's not always happiness. Many times there's conflicts, there's disappointments,

and what you expected in a relationship or what you

expected in a marriage has not happened or it hasn't

happened yet. And for some of you, marriage, some of

you started off as an ideal that turned into an

ordeal that is now turned it into the saying to yourself,

I want a new deal. I kind of catch you

getting it. I like that, And that's kind of where

you're at, maybe in your walk in a relationship right now.

But it doesn't matter who you marry. Good marriages and

strong families that just don't happen accidentally. You have to

work hard at it. And you know it's marriage and

relationships are made up of two imperfect people, but the

union of it is perfect in the eyes of God.

Now I know that some of you think you're really

perfect out there and I'm looking at you and you

don't look that perfect. Now you look good, but you

don't look that perfect. We'll see a relationship of marriage.

I want to use the context of marriage. Marriage in

the eyes of God is perfect. He just happens to

use two people that are not to make up that union.

And again, it doesn't matter who you marry. Things just

don't happen automatically. It takes a lot of energy, it

takes a lot of efforts. You have to be intentional,

you have to spend time, you have to be committed.

And I've got some good news for all of you.

It doesn't take gigantic changes in your life or in

a relationship to make something work. Sometimes it's the smallest

little thing that can change the atmosphere, that creates harmony,

that gives you some happiness. Let me hear an am

n from some of you. When some of you you're

fighting a lot. I mean you argue a lot. You

don't have happiness in your home or in a relationship.

And I'm praying that these six things are going to

help you. So if you're ready, I'm going to jump

into it. Number one. Pastor Mark can be talking more

about this next week. Number one. The first secret. It

takes communication. It takes communication. It takes the not just communication.

It takes the right kind of communication to be successful. Now,

in Proverbs thirteen, verse seventeen, it says, reliable communication permits progress,

and if you want to make progress in your marriage,

you've got to talk. Say eighty five percent of all

marriages and relationships have problems because of poor communication. They

just don't talk to each other. Our study was done

and they say the average couple spends only four minutes

a day talking to each other. I mean, we spend

forty seven hours a week watching television, and we only

spent about thirty minutes a week total talking to each other.

And you wonder why you have problems and there's no harmony.

They're no happiness in your relationship because you have quick talking.

I mean, we surround ourselves with noise and activities and

television and all of our digital devices.

Come on, you look.

Holy out there, which you're not that holy. We surround

ourselves well all these kind of things, and we eat

our dinner, we bury our faces and our iPads and

our iPhones, and we're watching television and about the only

kind of communication we have with one another is where's

the remote? We lost the remote control to the TV.

That's about our communication nowadays. And I think we're just

surrounded by so many things and you're not going to

make any progress if you don't talk to each other.

You'll never have a solid foundation of a rationship without

some kind of communication. I heard about a man one time.

His wife said to him, why don't you talk to

me while I sew? He said, why don't you sew

to me while I read? You know that is not communication.

You do know that. It's like the woman that went

to bed and I she says said to her husband,

she says, I can't sleep. I think there's a mouse

under the bed. He said, why don't you think there's

a cat under the bed and go to sleep? That

is that is not communication? And I said, how you

gold a solid foundation? You know? Boudro. I won't go

back to Boudrou and Quotila. You know they always had

struggles in their marriage. They've been married a long time

and they have not been talking since their last argument.

So what they didn't do They've been passing notes. They

write notes because they're not talking to each other. Boudro

wrote a note quote. It says, wake me up in

the morning at six am. I got lots of stuff

I gotta do well. The next morning, Boudreau wakes up

and it's nine am. He is as mad as he

can be. And he turns over and he looks and

he sees a note on his pillow. He says, wake up,

it's six am. That's not communication. Are you with me?

You know I want you to get to a girl.

When a girl is born, she develops linguistics to get

skills faster and more proficient in conversation than boys. This

is really true. Girls can talk more than boys. I mean,

that's a lifelong talent. Becaujanet agrees, My wife agrees. I agree,

And they can talk a lot. And and ladies, I

don't want you to get mad at me. That's just

how God has made you. In fact, it's a lifelong thing.

It starts at an early age. Doctor Martin, can you

roll that video real quick? I want you to see

this where it starts. Take a look at this.

Oh by the lack las a last lack and you

met me. They get somebody can be made the same.

Thanks athing he Rubb. We have been talked more than men.

And all the men said, don't you shouldn't have said

you're in trouble. Now it is a fact. They say

women speak about thirty thousand words a day and men

speak about ten thousand words a day. And you know,

by the time a man comes home from work, I mean,

he's already using these ten thousand words up. Think he

just kind of grunts his way her the rest of

the day in the evening, and a woman, you know,

she comes home from work or if she's home taking

care of the kids, and she still got about ten

thousand words to bird, and she wants somebody to talk to.

In fact, there was a study. There's research done. Won't

you listen to this. It says, according to researchers, researchers,

the female brain contains more cells that controls speech functions

than male. Now I'm not making this up. This is

a research that was done. It says the differences between

the male and the female brain are formed in the

mother's womb. It says testosterone starts affecting the formation of

the developing male brain. Now this is really true. It

reduces the size of the cerebral zone controlling perception. I'm

not making it a go, go read about it yourself.

As a result of this influence, zones controlling speech and

emotions and memory in a man's brain decreases. That causes

men to become deaf to most logical arguments and boys. Later,

men speak lesson women and try to hide their emotions

as much as they could. I didn't make this up.

I saw this in a search and research, a study

that was done. In fact, in some of my research,

I found a book called the Female Brain. I mean

not thing's about this big. And here's what they said

about the female brain. It says women have an eight

lane super highway for processing emotions. Men have a small

country road. I tried to see if there was a

book called the male mind, and there really wasn't one.

It was really since a sheet of paper with the

title on and something to call her on the backside

of his study is trying to say, is that men,

because we have been born men, we have some damaged

brain cells. Can I hear an amen from the women?

And so we just don't talk as much communication Now,

I'm not so certain that all the communications are for men.

Women sometimes are not very clear when they communicate. Am

I right? I heard some men laughing at you can

be in trouble, brothers. You gotta be careful.

You wrong.

It was like Clotel Bootrow's wife. You're gonna get a

boatload of boot Row today. I'm just telling you right now,

but I mean a Cotel went to the judge. She says,

I want a divorce. He said, well, do you have

any grounds? She said, yeah, we have four acres on

the buy you he said, he said no, he said,

he said, He said, I mean, do you have a grudge?

She said no, we parked our car in the front yard.

He said, what does your husband beat you up? She

said no, I'll get up before him every morning. Now

just as well, why do you want to divorce? He said,

because we just can't communicate. Sometimes women are not very clear.

They don't communicate communicate clearly to men. We have trouble

with that. But communication is not not always about a

lot of words. It's about the right kind of words.

It's about communicating where each can understand. And if there's

one problem in a relationship that can cause more damage

and disharmony, it's because we don't talk to each other.

We don't know the right kind of words to use.

And when you quit talking resent the builds up and

love phases out, grows and their feelings become weak. That

happens in a relationship. Look, when you quit talking to

each other. This is what I'm about. That when you

quit talking to each other, you start forgetting about each other.

It's true, isn't it. That's why communication is such a

big deal. To succeed in marriage and relationship, you've got

to be able to agree. You can't agree unless you

talk Amos three three says can two walk together unless

they're an agreement. If we're gonna have an atmosphere of

harmony where there's some happiness, I'm talking about something really

genuinely happy in that relationship. We've got to be able

to communicate. Poor communication leads to fights and arguments and

the silent Look, the silent treatment is no way to communicate. Look,

just because there's silence in your home doesn't mean there's

peace in your home. They say that silence is golden.

Not in a marriage. You've got to talk. Not in

a relationship. You've got to communicate. Learn the right words.

And I want to give you some sound advice this morning.

You can work it out if you're willing to talk

it out. Did you hear that? I say it again?

You can work it out if you're willing to talk

it out. Somebody needs to start today today, some of you.

When you go home from the service, you need to say, Okay,

we're gonna start. You don't have to be wrong for

a pen. I hope you know this. Somebody needs to

start the conversation. Somebody needs to start, not in an argument.

Somebody needs to start communicating. Can I hear an amen?

That's the first secret. Number two. It takes consideration. Consideration.

Consideration means paying attention to what other people say, how

they feel, showing common courtesy, treating others with respect. If

Esians four, verse two, Paul the Apostle writes, this, be

humble and gentle, be patient with each other, making allowances

for each other's faults because of your love. That's another

way of saying to be considerate. Consideration means paying attention

to what people say, preferring one over another. It means

men helping her bring in the groceries even though it's

the fourth quarter of the football game. Ladies. It means

making him a cherry pie when he least expects it. Genie.

It means making sure at her ledger in the car

before you put it in gear and start driving off.

Now I saw that problem. I just go around and

open the car door for Jeanie so she's in by

the time I get on the other side. I saw

that problem. That's consideration. Okay. Let me give you some

maybe an example of what it was like when you

first got married. That'd be okay, because in the beginning

you showed consideration. You know, it's the first year of marriage.

I mean, by the way, and I'm gonna show you

the progression of what makes a cold marriage. First year

of marriage, baby darling, I'm worried about you, that sniffle

that you have. Listen. I've called the paramedics to take

you over to the medical center and I'm going to

give you a week's rest there in the hospital. And

by the way, I know you don't like hospital food,

so I'm having it all brought in for the whole week.

So you just read it. First year of marriage, second

year of marriage, sweetheart. I don't like the sound of

that call. I've called doctor Johnson to make a house

call and and so I just let me take you

in bed, and he'll be here in a few minutes.

The third year, you know, honey, you look like you

have a fever. Listen, after you've bathed the kids and

wash the dishes, why don't you go lay down for

a little while. The fourth year, be sensible, I mean,

be sensible, I mean, I know you've got a fever.

Why don't you drive yourself over to the farmers. He

gets you some medicine. Then why don't you go take

a rest because you need some rest. The fifth year, honey,

do you have to cough so loud? I said, you're

interrupted my television program. You sound like a dog barking.

You know, that's kind of how it marriage it because

we've lost consideration for each other. A man told me.

A man told me. He said, when I first got married,

he said, my wife brought me my slippers, and the

dog came barking, And now the dog brings me my slippers.

You can think about that yourself. You can think about

the rest of it. You could possibly say the consideration

is a lot like respect. Respect. You know, without love,

there's no respect. Women react to love, men react to respect.

Let me just say it this way. When a man

shows love for his wife. That motivates for her to

respect him. When a man shows love to his wife,

that causes her to respect him. When a wife shows

that respect, it motivates him to love her. And we've

always heard the saying that if you treat your wife

like a thoroughbred, you never had an old nag. You

ever heard that to queen being' happy, you don't get

no honey. You ever heard that if you treat her

like a queen, she will treat you like a king.

It's called consideration. One Bible translation James three seventeen says

consideration is a mark of wisdom. Consideration is a marked

of wisdom. When you're in considerate, it's not a mark

of wisdom, it's a mark of stupidity. And some of

you shown you've been in considerate. I mean that's about

like being as dumb as a rock. Really, if you're inconsiderate,

be This is one of the secrets of having a

happy relationship. Create an atmosphere of harmony. It takes communication

and it takes consideration. Happy marriages, happy relationship never happen

without putting the other person first. Sometimes it's always about

showing respect. Romans twelve says this be kindly affection to

one another, with brotherly love, in honor, giving preference to another.

Why don't you start trying then, putting somebody before yourself?

Why don't you give it one week? Just still it

for one week? How double dog dare you? Won't you

put your spouse? Won't you put that person you're in

a relationship? Well, why don't you put them ahead of

you for relations one week? Just try it for one week.

See what happens. I bet you're gonna see some changes.

You're gonna see some harmony, some happiness. Once again, the

third secret. Are you ready for the third secret? It

takes compromise One Corinthians thirteen. Love is very patient and kind,

never jealous, are envious, never boastfull or proud, never haughty

or selfish or rude. And watch this. Love does not

demand its own way. That's the mark of real love. Love,

Real love is unselfish. It gives before it receives. You know,

what used to be genuine love on our parts now

become like a performance love. You know, we love because

they perform. We love because they do certain things. And

if they don't do those, say, if we're not loving them,

then we don't show that love back. That's where a

lot of relationships end up at. Maybe that's where your

relationship is right now. It's based on performance of the

other person in what they do or don't do. Then

we just read that love does not demand its own way.

It's not my way or the highway. You know, love

it or leave it. Some of you're probably have said

that in a relationship. You see. I know a lot

of people who stand at the wedding altar and they

say I do you know? She'll say I do, and

then later on she's saying, well, I'm gonna Redole's go

redo it him. I don't know if you know the

progression of a wedding. Do you know the progression of

a wedding? You walk down an aisle. You walk down

an aisle, that's the first part. You come to the altar,

that's the second part. And then you hear him. That's

kind of the progression of the of a wedding. You

walk down the aisle, you come to the altar, you

hear him three things. I'll alter him. That's cornia, you

remember that. That's kind of where we are. I'll alter him.

Progression of a wedding. No matter how perfect you think

you are or how you think how perfect they are,

you're never going to agree on everything. You know, meltdowns

and relationships come because there's no compromise. You know, here's

what Genie says. Genie says, Flexible branches don't break. Did

you hear that? I'm giving you a lot of good

stuff today. Flexible branches don't break, compromises bending without breaking.

I think there are more marriages have trouble because of inflexibility.

You know, there's more trouble in marriage and alcoholism and

adultery and all those things. It's not being able to compromise.

You've got to compromise in everything, or where you go

on vacation. What are you gonna do with your days off?

How are you gonna spend your money? How you gonna

raise your kids? Everything about a relationship is about a compromise.

You don't always get your way. I mean, more marriages

die from inflexibility than anything else. Maybe that's where some

of you are today. You need to start compromising. I

know some of you got your arms fold of life

issue said, well, I don't know about them, but I'm

gonna do it. The way I think it needs to

be done. I don't care what they think. You're inflexible.

That's the reason why you don't have harmony your happiness

in a relationship, or in your marriage, or in your home.

There are a lot of realities that surface when you

get married, and those realities require some middle ground. That

would have been a good place for an amen from somebody.

But you know this is true, don't you. I mean

some of you are morning people. How many of you

are morning people? I mean you get it early in

the morning, things are great. And then there's night people.

How many of you are night people? See, some of

you don't even believe in God toam about eleven in

the morning, that's how night people are learn.

And some of you are married.

You're a night person, you're marriage to a morning person,

or vice versa. And I'm gonna tell you have to

learn how to work it.

Out, how to compromise so you can have harmony.

In your relationship. Throughout marriage. You will have to have

mutual ground. You have to give up some things you

won't have to compromise. And the reason why we just

read it a moment ago is because love does not

demand its own wayy. We just read that, didn't we.

That's in the Bible. A marriage and a relationship is

never about getting your way, by the way. If that's

how you think, that is the way a single person thinks.

Who wants to be alone all the time, because I'm

wonna get it. It's gonna be my way. That's why

probably some people are single are divorced by the way.

Compromise doesn't mean agreeing on everything you need. I don't

agree on everything, and so we've just learned that we

have to find some middle ground. You know. Compromise means

nobody wins. You do know that, don't you. And sometimes

we just have to decide that we're going to have

a little give and take, and we do so because

we want to try to stay happy and healthy in

a relationship. Compromise is simply being able to reach an agreement.

And that's the secret of an enduring marriage. A relationship

is compromise. And if you can't or you won't find

mutual ground or find places to compromise, you'll never have

a happy life. This won't happen some of you today,

you need to start finding some middle ground. Some of

you are so hard headed, not headed that you just

feel like they don't do it my way. That's too bad.

You know, why don't today, why don't you let the

Holy Spirit begin to soften your heart a little bit,

to realize that it's not all about you. I know

you want it to be about you, but a relationship,

in a relationship, if it's gonna be happy, it's got

to be about both of you, about both of your happiness.

Let me go to number four. Number four, it takes courtship.

Now nobody uses the word courtship anymore, but all my

points are in the letter C and so I could

have used dating, but I had to have a word

to start with C. So it's courtship. It takes courtship

if you want to have It's a secret to a

happy marriage relationship, it takes courtship. In Tarbos five nineteen,

it says, let your wife be a fountain a blessing

for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. Another

Bible translation says, let your mate's affection fill you at

all times with delights. I want you to notice it

says at all times. Now, God intended for your marriage

to be full of romance and physical affection and fun

and playfulness and times to enjoy each other at all times.

It says all times, and you can do it all

times because it's all legal. Now you married. You're following me,

thank you. Courtship does not end in marriage. It continues

because everything's legal. You ought to be courting each other.

I mean, when it comes to romance, what did you do? Mean,

what did you do to woo hurt you? Ladies? What

did you do to woo him to you? That was

called courting, that's dating. That was what you did to

develop a relationship to the develop romance and all those

kind of things. I mean, when it comes to romance,

and give me your marriage strongth that's the huge problem

right now because now we don't see each other at

our best now that we're married. You know this is true.

I mean, you wake up in the morning, everybody's trying

to get ready for work, get the kids off to school,

and all these kind of things. You wake up, your

hair's going about fourteen different ways, your breath is so

bad to kill small animals, and you're rushing out and

you hardly say hello or goodbye to each other. And

then by the time they into the day rolls around

I mean you're worn out, you're exhausted, you don't have

anything else to give, or you following what I'm saying,

in other words, you're seeing your spouse. If you're married,

you're seeing your spouse at the worst times, when as before,

you always saw them at their best times. That's why

you need to intentionally plan to court each other. You

need to date your mate. I do this now. I

travel a lot now since I've made the transition with

my son and the church. I don't want to say

make the transition because that sounds kind of weird nowadays

in our modern culture transitions. But now that my son

is the pastor and I'm able to travel, I'm traveling

all over. So I'm not always home every week. But

when I am home every Thursday, that's the kind of

day we fit. Every Thursday Genie and I, I try

to take her to eat something or do something every

third am I right? And I've learned that doesn't mean

you have to spend a lot of money, since you're

spending time together. That's what courting is all about. I mean,

sometimes what just go get a hamburger? How many no hamburgers?

Or the will of God or it's nothing like a

good hot dog either. You know, I'm on school. But

all she wants is to spend some time with me.

Listen to men, that's what she wants from you. It

is not always about what you can buy her. She

wants some of you, some of your time. It's about courting,

and most don't court, Most don't date, most don't spend

time together. And when you stop doing what you did

to win them win their love, that love slowly erodes.

The relationship slowly fades. What it's true, I've watched it.

I'm a Medicare recipient. I'm sixty five years old. I

know I've watched enough. In the ministry now and being

around people, I've watched that. Happy men used to say

things like this to your sweet things. That know, over there, darling,

your as beautiful as tulips in the spring. Your eyes

sparkle like glitter on angel's wings. He never said that,

did He used to say those fakes, ladies. You would say, baby,

you got muscles, You got muscles. I mean they're so

big it makes hercules. Why he's in the first grade.

He brings tears to my eyes. You see, I don't

know if you notice this. I'm trying not to flex

anything because I'll bust this jacket all over. Men. You

you used to uh she used to uh give you

what you know, your spouse or the one you were dating,

or why it used to give her candy and kisses.

And now she gets from used burps and gas. And

she's saying, what happened? Ladies, let me tell what you

used to get him? I kid, how mean you dressed up?

You look great, amazing. You used to give him I

can and kissing. Now you got so much cream on

your face. It looks like you're gonna swim into English channel.

You know what I'm saying. And he saying what happened? Ladies?

You see him sound to sleep on the couch. Hearts

somebody talk about this one day. You see him sound

to sleep on the couch, his mouth wide open, the

remote in his hand is belly hanging touch on the floor.

You're saying, look what I'm married? And then he says

you coming out of the bathroom ready for bed, looking

like an astronaut. And he says, look what I'm married.

I want you to know men are very achievement oriented, ladies.

I want you to know this. We just we're gold orient.

That's how men are amazed. That's just us. So our

whole idea is I mean, when we're trying to get

you to marry us, fall in love it, we do

all kinds of things we'd never do normally, like go

to operas, you know, spend a lot of money, do that, can,

go to dinner a lot. We did all that to

will you, and thank god we did that. But the

moment we get married, in our mind, it's like, okay,

gold achieved. The next goal is I've got to provide

for her. I've got to provide for the family. I've

got to provide for the gifts. And we think we

got to go to work. That's kind of how we

think is meant. And and so he's not really proving

his love and affection towards you. I mean, at least

she don't think so. But in his own mind, that's

romance providing for you. That's that's love providing for you.

And you're saying what happened to my night in shining

order because you're starting to feel rejection, like there's no affection.

I read about Clotel Clotil Boudro's wife. She was depressed

really bad. Boudro took her to the psychiatrist. He said,

he said, doctor said he got to do something for

clotifis he's depressed. He said, well, let me just meet

with her time aly for a few months. Well, the

psychiatrists met with Clotil and found out that the reason

why she was because all Boujo did was work all

the time. Over time, he was on his shrimp boat,

he was out in the marsh hunting ducks, he was

fishing all this kind of stuff. He was hardly her home.

He was trying to provide for his family. So the

psychiatry figured it all that. He came back out to

the foy where Boucho was. He he said, mister Boujo,

he said, this is what your wife needs. Said, I'm

figuring it all out. He said, this is what your

wife needs. He goes over her and he said, let

me demonstrate. He grabs coat till, hugs her clothes, leans

her down. I mean, puts a big, wet, juicy kiss

on her. He said, mister Boo Joe, she needs this

every day of the week. Boujo scratch. He said, well,

they said, I can only get here on Monday. Tuesdays

and Thursdays. I'll do my best life. He didn't get it.

Ecclesiastes nine says, live happily with the woman you love

through the fleeting days of life. For the wife God

gives you is your best reward down here for all

of your earthly toil. Men don't want to just challenge

you need to date your maide. You need to do

something that you haven't done a long time. Just take

don't spend a lot of money, Go spend some time.

Turn off yourself on, the turn off on your electronic devices.

And why don't you make the relationship of priority again?

Why don't you laugh again? Wyant you go tell some

Carni jokes again like I'm telling you, and date your maide.

And if your relationship is suffering because the courtship has faded,

something needs to change. Today. Everybody say today, Today, Today,

Number five, the fifth one. It takes commitment, commitment Malachi

two six. It says, for I hate divorce, says the Lord,

the Lord, God of Israel. It is as cruel as

putting on a victim's bloodstained coach, says the Lord Almighty.

So guard yourself, always remain loyal to your wife. That's

called a commitment. That's a verse of commitment, is what

that is. And I'm not so sure we understand what

commitment really is. Seems like we're only committed when we

want to be where one is convenient for us. I

read the latest statistic about Christians. You want to hear it?

There was one and an old boy. Does anybody want

to hear the latest statistics on us? You see, we

say we're committed, they say. The average American, the average

Christian in Americans, says they're committed. They say, I'm a

committed Christian. But they attend church twenty times a year.

They say, that's that to them, in their mind, is

commitment twenty times. That's thirty eight percent of the time

you go to church. If you only eight thirty eight

percent of the time of a year from now, you're

not going to be here. But see, we think that's commitment.

We've got to be committed. If you're going to have

a relationship that has harmony and happiness, there has to

be a commitment. And we make so many promises with

no intention of really fulfilling them. I know this is true.

People say they're committing in church I'll come and serve

in the children's mister, I'll do that next thing. You know,

something better came up on that weekend. They go to

the laker, or they go to the mountains, or they

do whatever, and they don't fulfill their commitment. Making a

shallow commitment has become part of our culture, become part

of our nature. And one of the main reasons we're

seeing this is because several generations now think that I've

got to do what's best for me. You know what

that is. That's a term of self centeredness and being

self absorbed. It's all about me. I've got to do

what's best for me. Can I just give you another

way to look at it, and look at this. It's

not about doing what's best for you. It's about doing

what God says is best for you. That's how you

ought to say it. We are living in a more selfish,

more self centered world, and we wonder why the person

that we're in a relationship with, we're married to, has

become bitter and hard hearted and unhappy. You never build

a great marriage unless you throw out the option of

divorce means commitment. There are too many that build their

whole They want to go build a whole new house

and all you all they got to do is fix

the door of the sagging a little bit, place the carper,

do something simple. You don't need to build a whole

new house to be happy. You know this tunees you need.

And I've been married forty four years. Twelve of them

have been pretty happy, just teeth through fifteen. But look,

the first few years we were married, they were terrible.

You might know what I'm talking about. They weren't as

happy as we thought they would be. We had to

grow up together, we had to learn together. We had

to make some compromises together. But I want to tell

you one thing when I made when I said those vows,

I didn't say them to the people that were around me.

I wasn't saying to the pastor. I was saying to Genie.

Into the hold, I said until death knew us fought.

So let me put it to you this way. If

Genie leaves me, I'm gone with her and me. Commitment. Listen,

I want you to hear this. Working commitments means being

being willing to be unhappy for a while until you

work it out. That's what commitment is. It's willing to

be unhappy until we can work it out. And that

may take a while, because it you might have to

go back to communication and consideration and compromise in courtship.

We may have to start all over these other things

that I'm speaking to you about this morning. The great

enemy of your the great enemy of your relationship, is

the myth of incompatibility. I've heard people say, well, it's

not compatible with anything. Some lawyer invented that just so

they could do this divorce stuff. There's no such thing,

because I know anybody can get along together if they

want to. Is there an amen in the house on

that you can get along with somebody if you really

want to have The problem is you don't want to.

You need to change your want to incompatibility. I've decided

that any two people are compative compatible that they try to.

Some of you think, well, the grass is greener on

the other side. I got news for you. There's weeds

in that grass too, lots of them. Let me take

you the sixth thing running out of time. It takes

Christ the last See it takes Christ. Because Christ will

give you the power of the strength and ability. He

will give you the endurance. He'll give you the rest

in peace and the patience that it takes to do

these other five things I've just spoken about, so you

can have happiness and harmony in a relationship. He can

breathe life back into something that seems dead or dying.

He can heal what he's wounded. He can repair what's broken.

You know, he's called the carpenter. Remember the carpenter. You

know what carpenters do. They build things, They repair things,

They restore things In't that right, Ben, Now you do

that kind of stuff. That's what carpenters do. Jesus is

the carpenter for your marriage, for your relationship, And no

matter how dilapidated it may look right now, he can

put a new coat paint on it. He can put

a new window in, He put a new roof on it.

The greatest thing you can do for your home, or

your life, or for your marriage is to put Jesus first. Look,

that's why you're here this morning, and I'm grateful that

you're here because it just shows me that you really

want God to lead your life. You want him to

help you in your life. And he's the only one fast.

Mark can do it fast as that can't do. It

has to be Christ who will give you the strength

and the ability and the wisdom to do that. You know,

if somebody said marriage is like a three legged stool,

let me close with this. They say marriage is like

a three legged stool. That takes three, not two to

make marriage. If you take a two legged stool in

stand it up, it's going to follow. It takes that

third leg. That's Jesus problem. Miss. Some of you don't

have Jesus in ther in your marriage. And you know what,

you don't have a leg extending. It's corny in the

act that you don't get into. That's why you're having

trouble standing up and making it. But Jesus loves he

cares about how many If you need to work on

these six things, let me just see your hands. There's

at least one of the sixth that you need to

work on. I need to probably work on a lot

more than that. I need to work on a bunch

of them, because it's always a learning curve all your life,

you do learning how to get along together. Well, let

me pray for a father in the name of Jesus.

You see the hands of those who just went up

saying I need o God to work on these six

secrets of a happy marriage or relationship. I want harmony

and I want happiness. It won't come by doing exactly

what I've done. Or there's some things that I need

to make some changes in and I need your help,

and I'm calling on you. This morning, I lifted my head.

There's at least one of these six things and I

really need to work on. While you're still praying. If

you lifted your hand, I want you to commit that

to the Lord and said, Lord, I'm going to work

on that this week. Just make that commitment to the

Lord right now. Father, Here we are in this sanctuary.

We're making a commitment to work on these things. We're

saying them to you. Lord. It might be communication, it

might be consideration, might be compromised. It might be courtship.

It might be commitment. It might just be you and

bringing you into our relationship and into our home. Lord.

It might be one of these six things. But we

need some help, and I'm committed to doing this right

now the name of Jesus, Amen, everybody look at me.

For just a morning. I was traveling back from Brazil

back in November. We'd done a bunch of conferences and

we were up on the northeast coast. We had to

fly on little prop plane down to a city called Receiafield.

If you look at Brazil on the east coast, it

comes way out like this. It was on a tip.

You know, it's not too far across the ocean to

Africa from there. And we stopped. Pastor Larry and we

were sitting together and the pilots we were about to

take on some passengers. He was outside inspecting the propellers

on the engine on the plane engine, and he was

spinning around and he was looking at and he was

touching and feeling every one of the blades. Pastor Larry said,

what's that guy doing. I said, that's the pilot, I said.

He said, what does he do? I said, he's he's looking.

He's feeling for gashes or parts of the blade that

might be missing. You know, you hit a rock or

something that's rocks fly up as you're going down the

rung way or something. He's looking for gashes or something

in that blade. He said, why, I said, because if

that thing spins around and you've got a gas or

a part missing, a little piece missing, it's out of ballast,

and the faster it spins, the more it begins to shake,

and the more it shakes, the engine will fly off,

the wheel come off, we'll crash it die. He said, WHOA,

And I thought about you. There might be a little

piece missing in your life.

This morning.

The fear of the Lord is here, and he's running

his hands over the blades of your life, over your soul,

looking for something in a little part. Maybe it's not big,

but it's a little part is missing, that little part.

The faster you go in life, the more you begin

to shake, things begin to fly apart, until you crash

and die. Spiritual, the Lord is running his hands over

your soul right now, over your life. Some of you

have a little part missing, don't you, a little part

that's gone on you try to live life. Things are

shaking and you're just hoping you get to the end.

You may make it.

But today the pilot, the one who flies the plane

talking about Christ through spirit, wants to heal or replace

the little part that's missing.

Would you about to use for just a moment, some

of you have been running your life. You're running so fast,

so far. Your life is shaking because there's something missing.

You have been given all of your life to Christ.

You've only compartmentalized your Christianity. But today you say, Pastor,

I think you're right. There's something missing in my life.

I want to give everything I have to him. I'm

not right. I know I'm not made when I confess

my sin to him. That's not the first time you

knew about it. He knows about it right now. I

know I'm not living right, thinking right and right. See,

you got a part missing. If that's you, slip your

head up. So past Or, pray for me. Nobody's soill again.

I'm not calling you part. I don't have any time

right now. I'm out of time. There's two three four's

or other heads five six seven A, anybody else? Something missing.

I don't want to fly apart, Old God. I don't

want my power on my engine to fly off. I

don't want my life to crash and burn. Father, once again,

we call upon you this morning, you the savior of

our soul, Jesus. I think that you've run your head

across our life right now to find the little piece

that's missy. We acknowledge to you, or we know it's missing.

We're not going to live our life any longer like this?

Would you heal us, repair us? Would you restore us?

If we could, we could run smooth and with power

and with joy, with expectation. Lord God, fill the gap

and the hold this in our soul. Right now, I

lift in my head because I need you. I need

to come back to you. If you lifted your hand,

just praying your heart this real simple prayer. Lord, I

need you. I'm asking you to wipe away my past

and help me to become a new person today Today

old things are passed away. Behold, all things will become new.

Thank you Father. I'll give to you my heart and

my life in Jesus name. Amen. The sixth Secrets of

a healthy relationship exkive God a good off your price past.

Thank you for listening. We hope that you enjoyed today's episode.

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God bless you all.