Gospel Shaped Families

All right, today is our final day in the Gospel-Shaped Family series.

My voice is a little bit croaky as well, so please bear with me as I speak.

Right.

He's got us a chance to take a seat.

So far in the series, we looked at relationships

and how we're actually created for relationship.

We're created by an eternally relational God, Father, Son and Spirit, yet one God.

And we're created for relationship with each other,

a relationship that is expressed toward God as worship

and toward each other as fellowship.

We've then looked at some of the different dimensions that relationships can take

in terms of between us and our church families,

so husbands, wives, parents and children, and singles,

in terms of how that works in our relationships within the church family.

And today we're bringing it all back together again,

looking at Gospel-Shaped Family.

And as we do that, there's a bit of a surprise to it in a sense.

And I hope you appreciate that that surprise is there for a very good reason,

and actually it helps us to pursue the relationship that God intended for us to pursue

and not just our own.

Now, earlier this winter, I like buying stuff online.

It's cheaper, right?

Earlier this winter, I ordered a jumper online.

It was actually supposed to be a dark red hoodie, a zip hoodie.

You know what those are, yeah?

A dark red zip hoodie was what I ordered.

And this is what I got.

Okay.

That picture, if you have a look on the screen,

that picture is a picture of Frankenstein's monster,

nothing like what I ordered.

This is not a large.

It is not the same colour I ordered.

It has no hood, no zip,

no bearing or similarity to the thing that I ordered.

And this is the first time I've worn it.

It's still got the tags on.

If you want it, it's yours after the service.

But the really interesting thing about this is,

this issue of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

You see, Frankenstein was a scientist who decided that what he would do was,

through a process of chemistry and alchemy is how it's described,

it's kind of vague in the book.

But this issue of, this thing of alchemy is actually where you,

so I'm not dissing scientists, that's Dave's job.

What I'm saying is that this person, Frankenstein, as a scientist,

was actually trying to purify or perfect humanity.

So in a lab, he assembled a person with the goal of actually making the perfect person.

The result was a monster that even he as its creator could not love.

The result was a monster who could only respond to how he was treated

and paid back in even more, greater extent.

So when his creator rejected him,

he responded with incredible anger and revenge, vengefulness.

One of the really interesting things about the Enlightenment movement

is this tendency in us to want to actually create our version of humanity,

a version of humanity that we actually think is better

than any other version of humanity, including God's.

But what I want to suggest to you is this.

The version of humanity that you create

is always destined to be the monster.

The version of humanity that God creates

is beautiful, it's pure, it's inspiring.

It's the only one really that we can set up

and that we can set up as the thing to pursue.

What are we, according to God?

We are beloved children.

Whatever we think of ourselves, good or bad.

Good or bad, we are God's beloved children.

Beloved is an old word.

It means dearly loved or much loved.

We are God's family.

Now there's three key points in Ephesians

where Paul applies this family imagery

in chapter 1, chapter 3 and chapter 5.

And we'll look at those as we go through.

But each time he applies it,

he's not talking about our families

or families as we like to think of it.

The families that we construct.

He is talking about God's family.

In his mind, this is the first family.

This is the perfect family, the main family.

Our families, as we express them, are derivative.

They depend on God for meaning, significance and shape.

And we see this in terms of how it unfolds.

We see the Father, the Father loving.

The Father loved us, we see in the book of Ephesians.

He loved us by sending the Son.

His beloved Son.

Not the one that he could spare.

We all have kids in our families that like that, don't we?

Not the one that he could spare.

But the one that it tore his heart out to send.

Our Father is the giver of good things.

He delights in calling us his own precious children.

In Ephesians 1, we discover that he set his heart on us to love us

before he even created us.

Our Father is also where the concept of fatherhood comes from.

And in chapter 3, in verse 14 and the following,

he is the Father from whom all fatherhood everywhere is named.

And whatever good you've experienced in your earthly father,

that's a reflection, just a reflection, a power reflection too,

of your heavenly father.

Now some of us, I'll acknowledge this now,

some of us will experience little or no good from our earthly father.

But consider this.

The fact that those experiences hurt so much points to something that's wrong,

something gone wrong,

which means that there is something right, a right expression,

something way better in fact,

and that better is our heavenly father.

Now I can look at my own father's attempts to raise me,

and you can probably judge from my behaviour how he did,

but I can look at my father's story and I can tell you now,

it is one of success and failure.

There are many things that I look to my father and I'm just so grateful for.

And there are a number of things that I'm not grateful at all for.

Now I know I'm not just having a shot at my dad,

because I can actually see that same pattern in myself as I parent my kids.

There are many things that I just praise God that he's actually shone through me,

despite me in a sense, in terms of how I've tried to parent my kids.

But there are a number of things that if I could have a do-over on,

I would love to have that opportunity.

I'm supposed to be that safe space for my children,

the nurturing person in the family,

the protective person in the family.

But the reality,

the only person that can be that for my family is my heavenly father.

He is that safe space.

He is the one who knows us better than we know ourselves.

He is the one who has held back nothing in his love for us.

He is that one from whom before time began,

has been longing to draw us to himself.

That's our heavenly father.

So father,

and our son,

the son,

God the son,

God the father has been loving and desiring to draw us to himself.

God the son came to us in an act of love,

saved us,

rescued us.

Jesus loved us by sacrificing himself to rescue us.

We see that in verse two.

It's not just a generic version of love that Paul puts out there.

Oh,

just be,

you know,

just love each other.

Try and,

you know,

nurture and harness that,

that mushy feeling.

he actually talks about love as self-sacrifice.

This is the ultimate act of love.

It's an extreme image too.

I mean,

when you become a sacrifice and you think about the way that they actually approach sacrifice,

it wasn't just in a,

like a hypothetical or a theoretical or a,

a cognitive sense.

It was actually in a very practical sense.

The sacrifices,

well,

let's just say,

if you became a sacrifice,

it wasn't something you walked away from.

Well,

this kind of love,

this sacrificial kind of love is a humbling love.

Jesus laid aside everything that he was to become the thing that he created.

He had rights.

He had power.

And he let them go for our sake,

just laid them aside for our sake.

And we didn't even deserve it.

We were the sinners,

the rebels,

suspicious of God's goodness.

Our hearts were darkened.

And Jesus became our rescuer,

our redeemer.

Now,

we didn't dodge a bullet,

and it was the executioner's bullet.

We didn't dodge a bullet when we became Christians.

Jesus stepped in the way of the bullet for us.

Jesus' rescue was costly.

It hurt.

But its goal was our rescue,

and that's something that God delights in.

Our redemption was an act of love,

grace,

will,

God's pleasure,

his desire to forgive us.

And it was all of these things,

because it accomplished our adoption as his children.

And that is something that God eternally delights in.

So the Father,

the Son,

and the Spirit,

as the Father loves,

and as the Son loves by saving us,

the Spirit loves us,

it embraces us by connecting us

to God,

the Father,

Son,

and Spirit.

Can I ask you,

which person of the Trinity do you actually relate to most?

If you were to think about it,

who do you pray to?

Who do you think about most?

Do you relate your faith in God to most?

Who do you think about when you think about God?

Well,

whoever it is,

we need to remember this truth.

The Spirit is the one who connects us to God.

He's the one who joins us to God.

In Ephesians 1,

Ephesians 1:13

verses 13 and 14,

we read that the Spirit is the deposit

guaranteeing our inheritance.

Now,

a deposit is the first payment.

Not just a,

you know,

a token amount.

It's the first payment.

So what we're receiving is the first part

of what we will get in full

when Jesus returns.

We're getting that first payment

in the Spirit.

He is God with us.

He provides a security

in our relationship to God.

In fact,

it's a pretty one-sided relationship

in that sense.

And I'm sure you know

what one-sided relationships are.

The nature of how we relate to each other.

I can remember the first year of marriage,

which I thought,

you know,

everyone tells you

the first year of marriage is so hard

and I thought it was great.

I thought it was wonderful.

I was having a chat with some friends

about how wonderful

the first year of marriage was

and they were newly,

we'd been married for about 10 years

and they were newlyweds.

They'd just completed

their first year of marriage

and yeah,

and you know,

my mate's going,

yeah,

it was great.

The first year of marriage was great.

And I can see looking at his wife thinking,

wow,

she doesn't look like it was quite so great.

But before,

but before we got to that,

I actually saw the look

on my own wife's face

and discover,

well,

okay,

she has a different view to me.

I'm there saying,

wow,

you know,

first year of marriage was great

and Joe said,

it wasn't for me.

That's one-sided.

Things were great for me

because I was taking

and she was doing all the giving.

We know what it's like

to be in a one-sided relationship

and that's just in an earthly sense.

In the sense that we're talking about here

where God actually has to rescue us

from ourselves

at the cost

of his beloved son,

we're talking about

an infinitely one-sided relationship.

Perhaps during the series

you've been drawn to

thinking through

your relationships

in terms of how one-sided they are.

Perhaps you've been thinking,

wow,

you know,

as husbands have been listening to us

talk about wives

and wives have been listening to us

talk about husbands

and each of you have been thinking,

wow,

he's not delivering

or she's not delivering

or kids and parents,

you know,

our parents aren't delivering.

Think about this.

The relationship

that you have with God

as his beloved child

is entirely one-sided.

In Ephesians 3,

Ephesians 3:14–19

verses 14 to 19,

we discover there

that the spirit

actually provides

the strength we need

to know God.

That's really interesting.

The spirit provides

the power behind

our faith.

He provides us

with the ability

to understand,

to maintain our faith.

He provides

real experience

of God's love,

we discover in those verses.

Now,

in Galatians 4,

6,

which we preached on Galatians

earlier this year,

and Romans 8, 15,

we discover that the spirit

actually teaches

our spirits

to cry,

Abba,

Father.

This is the work

of the Holy Spirit

in us.

He is connecting us

to God relationally,

deeply.

And in Ephesians 5,

18 to 21,

in this passage

we've just had read out,

Paul urges us

to get drunk

on the spirit.

That's what he's saying.

Do not get drunk

on wine,

but be filled

with the spirit.

The spirit

turns our hearts

from wanting

more in life

to overflowing

with thanksgiving

to our heavenly

Father for all

that we have

in Christ.

the spirit

teaches us

what it actually means

to submit

to one another.

Apart from the spirit

that would just be

not just a scary thing

but just

totally unnecessary

thing in life.

The spirit

connects us

to God personally,

relationally,

cognitively,

and emotionally.

Our triune God,

three persons,

Father,

Son,

and Spirit,

yet one God.

And his family

is the family

that Paul sees

as a source

of all other family.

His family

is the one

that we've been

invited into

for the rest

of eternity.

What you are,

beloved children

of God.

What you become

is imitators

of God.

When we enter

his family,

we become

his children.

This is our identity.

God is our protector.

He's our provider.

He's the one

who actually

raises us

and transforms us.

And as he loves us

without condition

or restraint,

we need to understand

the basis of that.

He loves us

without condition

or restraint

because he sees us

as having

the righteousness

of Christ.

And children,

even adoptive children,

take on the characteristics

of the fathers

that raise them.

Now,

when I was working

as a physio,

I had a patient

recovering from

a broken leg.

Now,

he came in one day.

I told my small group

this last week.

But he came in one day

and this particular day

he was bringing

his son in with him.

He didn't have someone

to look after him.

He was a three or four

year old kid.

And so they walked

into the waiting room

and he hobbled in

with his crutches

as he usually did.

and his son,

his three or four

year old son,

walked alongside him

and imitated

the limp

of his father.

This little three

year old,

three, four year old kid

limping into the

waiting room as well.

Now,

I asked him,

is your child alright?

Has your child been

injured or something?

And he said,

oh no, no, no.

He just likes to copy me.

That's the nature

of parenthood,

isn't it?

That there's this

bond between

a parent

and a child.

There's a very

strong bond

between the father

and the son.

That bond

is such that

we want to

imitate our father.

We just want

to be like him.

Children

imitate

their father.

Our fathers

have a powerful

influence in their

household,

and you can look up

the research for that

later if you like.

We're just discovering

more and more

the truth

of the pattern

that God set up

for us.

Our earthly

experience of this

can be inspiring,

as I've said,

or it can be painful.

But our experience

of God

as our father

is always

inspiring.

We don't obey

because we have to.

And please

don't get me wrong here.

I'm not questioning

the authority of God

and his right

to command us

to do whatever

he chooses.

but what I'm

saying is this.

We have a father

who has that

authority

and yet goes

after our hearts.

I'm saying that

we have a father

who loves us

perfectly,

a father who

delights in giving

us good things.

And Jesus even

describes this

in Luke 11.11.

Which of your fathers,

if your son asks

for a fish,

will give him a snake

instead?

Or if he asks

for an egg,

will give him a scorpion?

If you then,

though you are evil,

here's a nice way

of speaking to a crowd

and keeping their

attention, isn't it?

If you then,

although you are evil,

know how to give

good gifts to your

children,

how much more

will your father

in heaven give

the Holy Spirit

to those who ask him?

We have a father

who loves us perfectly,

who delights in

giving us good things,

a father who is

undeniably good,

a father who has

captured our hearts,

who is worthy

of our praise,

who is someone

we delight in imitating

like little children do.

This is more

than obedience.

I mean,

and I mean by that,

it's more than

obedience in the sense

of an expression

of the will,

simply an expression

of the will.

This obedience

goes deeper.

Even that difference

is best summed up

in the word grace.

I think about

how I parent,

and this perhaps

is one of the areas

that I'm kind of

concerned about

and in a sense

trying to redress,

but have I modelled

grace as a father?

I taught my kids

to obey,

yes.

I taught my kids

obedience in terms

of appealing

to their wills.

But did I actually

teach them inadvertently

that that was the

foundation of my

relationship with them,

my regard for them?

See, if I express

a desire to promote

obedience in my child

and obedience

without grace,

my feelings for my child

will waver

based on how they perform.

But if my approach

to raising my children

is obedience with grace

as my Heavenly Father

relates to me,

my feelings for my children

will remain unchanged.

children imitate their

father from admiration

or wonder.

As his precious children,

we are called to do the same.

Children imitate the father.

Paul also calls us

in chapter 5

to walk,

and he describes walking

in two different ways.

He's imitating the father.

He's like,

he uses action words

for these things.

He says to walk in love

and to walk in light.

Imitating the father

is something that

shapes what we do.

We become children

who love

like God loved us.

And verse 2,

as I've said,

Paul gives us

a model for loving

to set us on the right track

so we don't go astray

even in that.

And the example

is Jesus' sacrifice.

When you become

a sacrifice,

when you become a,

when he became a sacrifice,

he didn't walk away

from that.

When you become a sacrifice,

it's the same deal.

This kind of love

expressed in sacrifice

is a humbling love.

When it's expressed

in relationship,

it's a humiliating love.

I think we've sanitized

humility.

I'll explain this to you.

In our minds,

we've kind of

categorized humility

as the opposite

to pride

or arrogance.

And that,

you know,

in Australian culture,

that's something

that we're kind of

born into anyway.

But it's more than that.

You see,

it is that.

But being humble

in practice,

exercising humility,

is actually

opening yourself up

to the experience

of humiliation.

humiliation.

Think about that

relationally.

I can value humility

as a virtue,

but I can only

live humility

if I'm prepared for

and accept

humiliation

as an outcome.

Now,

I come from

a family background

where one of the ways

that we love each other,

so to speak,

is by put-down humour.

Do you know what that means?

Where you basically

chip each other

all the time.

You don't have that.

No,

none of you do that.

No?

Okay,

it's just my family then.

That's fine,

I'm happy to own that.

But one of the things

I found was that

when I married Jo,

she does not come

from that kind of background.

She's British

through and through.

I'm kind of British

by birth,

you know,

made in England,

assembled in Australia.

But she's actually

British.

And over in England,

you put yourself down,

but not other people.

That's just not kind.

So here she was

married to someone like me

who had actually

perfected the art

of put-down humour.

It was costly

for Jo

to continue

to love me

through that

when what she was hearing

was the opposite.

It was costly

for her

to continue

to love me.

It was humiliating.

Friends,

love is costly.

Sometimes it hurts

deeply

to love another person.

But remember this,

the kind of love

that Jesus modelled

is a love

that actually has its goal

outside of self.

In the lifting up

of another,

each other,

ultimately

in worship

of our God.

That's

the noble thing

that we were created for.

When you think

about walking

as a beloved

child of God,

think about that

as your calling.

The other thing

that Paul does

right in the middle

of chapter 5

is he basically says

wake up

is the other thing

that he uses.

So he talks about

being children

imitating their father

walking

and he talks

about waking up.

Imitating God

involves,

it also involves

not just

how we live

but how we think,

even getting behind

what we do

to why we do

what we do.

Paul says

wake up.

Don't let anyone

deceive you.

Examine things

in the light.

Pull things

into the light

and examine them

closely.

Look carefully

how you walk,

he says in this passage.

be wise.

Understand

the Lord's will.

All of these things

addressing

how we think,

what we believe,

what we value,

all of these

things

requiring us

to put those things

under scrutiny.

Question ourselves.

Think through

why we're doing

what we do.

not just

conforming the will

by force

to a particular

pattern.

I can tell you

you do that,

it doesn't last.

And you hate yourself

for it when you fail.

God's asking

for more than that

from us.

He's calling

after our hearts.

And friends,

that takes effort,

that takes mental effort

to actually do that,

to actually examine

our hearts

and really

put them

under the microscope.

Walk.

Wake up.

And the final thing

that Paul finishes

with is worship.

There are a number

of ways

that being

in God's family

changes us.

The final thing

that he wants

to say to us

though is this.

He wants to bring us

back, I guess,

to what David

talked about

in our very first

talk on the series,

Gospel-shaped

relationships,

when he described

how we were

actually created

for worship.

We are creatures

who were created

to worship.

When we don't

worship God,

we will find

other things

to worship.

Mostly ourselves,

though on the

bulletin front

you'll see,

sometimes it's

our families,

our marriage partners,

our parents,

our children.

Sometimes it's

just stuff

and that's

really sad.

when we do

that,

when we

practice

idolatry,

Paul again

in this passage

links idolatry

to covetousness,

wanting it

more than we

have.

Or in terms

of covetousness

you could even

say wanting

what is not

ours to have

in God's

providence.

all the time

we're doing

that,

all the time

that we're

looking for

more in

life than

there is,

all that

time,

we are

missing all

that we

have in

Christ.

Paul says

in verse 17,

and I paraphrase

here,

don't get

drunk on

wine,

get drunk

on the

Holy Spirit.

Yes,

your pastor

said get

drunk,

but listen

to the

second part

of the

get drunk

on the

Holy Spirit.

And when

we do,

he will

transform us.

A community

of people

who invite

the Holy Spirit

to fill them

will be

characterized

by the

things that

Paul lists

in this

passage.

Joyful,

exuberant,

God-shaped

conversation.

In fact,

not just

conversation,

but we sing

to each

other,

we turn

into a

musical.

For some

of you,

that may

be a

nightmare,

but that's

actually a

beautiful

thing.

Yes,

it really

is a

nightmare

for some

of

things.

But that's

what we

become.

And you

know what

a musical

is like?

A musical

is one

of those

things that

just evokes

the emotion

all the way

through.

You come

through it

wrung out,

exhausted,

emotionally.

Imagine if

that was

us,

a musical

devoted to

singing praise

to our

God to

each other,

constantly

lifting each

other up,

inspiring

each other,

constantly

creating and

encouraging

in each

other,

all for

God,

delight in

Him.

We also

have a

community

characterized

by

thankfulness

to God,

always,

in

everything,

says Paul.

Thankfulness

rather than

setting our

hearts on

getting more

out of

life than

God has

actually given

us.

More from

our lives

than in

God and

His commands

and His

good pleasure

have actually

destined for

us in the

path that we

walk as

His beloved

children.

And the

final thing

Paul says

that the

Holy Spirit

does in

us is the

Holy Spirit

actually promotes

submission to

each other.

Friends,

if we're

struggling with

that concept of

submitting to

one another,

putting others

first,

seeking their

good,

sometimes at

the cost to

ourselves,

if we're

struggling with

that concept,

where do we

go but to

God to ask

for more

from the

Holy Spirit,

to ask Him

to fill us

more.

If you're a

Christian,

you have the

Spirit in you.

He is the

deposit guaranteeing

your inheritance.

But the

interesting thing

Paul says

here is you

can also

actually engage

with the Holy

Spirit relationally

so that He

fills you with

all the things

He's desiring

to produce in

you.

Was it G.K.

Chesterton

that described?

No, no,

sorry, it

wasn't that.

It wasn't him.

I can't remember

the guy's name,

the guy who

first translated

the Bible into

English.

William Tyndale,

was it?

William Tyndale.

who describes

a Christian

community as

like a summer

garden, a

garden where

the sun is

always shining

and fruit is

always being

produced.

The Christian

community is

like a summer

garden, which

the Spirit is

delighting in and

desiring to

produce fruit in

us.

So I need to

finish there.

I think I may

have gone too

long, but let

me just say

this.

The thing that

we try and

create for

ourselves,

is destined

only to

become a

monster.

But the

family that

God has

called us

to be, that

he's rescued

us to be a

part of, that

he's given

us a spirit to

guarantee us

and is building

in us even

now, that

family is

beautiful,

compelling,

nothing better.

God, let me

pray.

Let me pray and

as I pray, the

musicians will

come up.

Father God, we

thank you for

inviting us into

your family.

Thank you for

the thought you've

put into that

that actually

just goes back

before even the

beginning of

time.

It's hard to

even imagine

that.

The love that

you've invested

in us, the

sacrifice you

were willing to

make for us

and the

delight you

have in us

even and

despite what

we know about

ourselves.

Lord, we

thank you for

that.

Thank you for

making that

possible through

Jesus Christ

and for

awakening the

reality of it

in our lives

through your

spirit and we

pray that you

would continue

to do that.

Lord, I pray

that we would

be a community

that delights in

being drunk on

your Holy Spirit.

Amen.

The next

song is

By Faith.

The lyrics to

the song comes

from Hebrews

11, if you'd

like to read

through that.

But it's right

through the old

text and it's

been By Faith.

The author says

and it's By Faith

in the pen for

the verse stands

to it.

So let's

stand.