Matthew 5:31-37

Well, good evening.

Happy Fourth of July weekend.

Greg and Chris here are keeping a high line if you've been watching the World Cup.

They're my defensive high line, keeping me from even getting closer to you as I preach.

But that's all right.

We're glad you guys are sitting up in the front.

And we're glad all of you are here tonight.

We're continuing in a series in the Sermon on the Mount.

And so we're going to be looking at that in a minute.

This weekend, my son, Eli, went to a birthday party.

And the theme was pirates, which is perfect.

He's five years old, about to be six.

And he loved it.

He got a bandana.

He got an eye patch.

He came home with a glow-in-the-dark sword.

We were able to take to the fireworks on Saturday night and enjoy its glow-in-the-darkness as he ran around before the fireworks began at dusk.

And so as we came home, he said, Daddy, can we play pirates tonight?

We said, no, we've got to go to bed.

Can we play pirates tomorrow?

Yes, we can play pirates tomorrow.

I woke up in the morning.

I had other things to do.

Daddy, can we play pirates?

Yes, yes, we can play pirates sometime.

But, you know, at the end of the day, I didn't actually end up playing pirates with him.

It's not that I didn't intend to at one level, but at the end of the day, I wanted to do other things more.

And later in the day, the Lord convicted me that I didn't do what I had said I would do.

I was convicted that I didn't keep my word the way I ought to.

And, you know, I've been reflecting on this theme a little bit.

We'll see it in our passage in a few minutes.

But I've reflected that our culture has experienced an erosion of the fidelity of spoken words,

that we say things in our culture and it doesn't matter if they're true or if we're actually intending to keep them or not.

I could name names, and I will, just to keep us awake here.

So everyone from sports people like Lance Armstrong or Marion Jones, if you remember her, the Olympic sprinter,

to some of our great political leaders, whether it be Bill Clinton or Colin Powell,

or all of these people have said things publicly and have testified that they were true,

when in fact they weren't.

We live in a culture where talk radio uses words as entertainment,

not as an exchange about truth.

And I think even in our daily lives, in our culture today,

being someone whose word is faithful and true is not as valued as it used to be.

I think that we make promises and we think,

I'll try to keep it.

I'll do my best.

I hope I can.

In a generation past, it might have been different.

I notice it sometimes in culture of making plans.

Hey, can we meet next Thursday?

Sure, let's do it.

All right, one o'clock, let's see you there.

And then I get a call the day before.

Oh, I can't make it.

Something came up.

And, you know, at one level, sometimes that happens.

But that's pretty common in our culture today.

And I think a generation ago, it would have been very different.

And I was reflecting on why is it?

Why do we do these things?

Why did I do it to my son?

Why did I say something when I really didn't mean it and hadn't thought through?

Why?

And I was realizing that for me,

it's because I want to say things as long as it's convenient for me in the moment.

I said that to my son so that Eli,

so that he'd stop bugging me, to be honest with you.

So he'd stop asking me every five minutes,

Daddy, can we play pirates?

Daddy, can we play pirates?

Yes, we'll do it.

Stop talking to me.

I have other things to do.

What I realized is that if I made a promise,

yes, Eli, we will play pirates this morning,

it impinges on my freedom.

It impinges on my ability to choose.

What am I going to do this morning?

It creates an obligation for me to follow through on something.

And ultimately, it violates my selfishness.

It violates my sovereignty to do what I want to do with my time

at any moment in my life.

Keeping our word is costly because we give up the freedom to do what we want.

We live, I think, so often, I live so often at times,

in this in-the-moment ethics of I'll do whatever I need to

to get through the situation.

So what does Jesus have to say about that?

If you want to turn with me in your Bibles, page 810,

we're going to look at the Sermon on the Mount.

We're going to be starting in verse 31.

And as you turn there, just to remind you briefly,

the Sermon on the Mount is the Gospel of Matthew.

The first four chapters is laid out Jesus as this king who's come.

And as he comes, he pronounces to you, the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

And he gathers his disciples in chapter 4,

and then in the beginning of chapter 5,

he launches into this long sermon about what life in his kingdom

will really look like.

What does it look like when people are under him as king?

How are our lives transformed and changed?

And what does it look like as a result of that transformation?

And we're in this list now that starts back in verse 17

of this seven times when Jesus says,

you have heard it said, but I say to you.

Where he's talking to a bunch of Jewish people

about what they've heard said about the Old Testament

and about the old way.

And then, but I say to you,

it's this whole pattern of,

but this is what the kingdom of God is really like.

And so, this is where we're at in the Sermon on the Mount.

Look with me in verse 31, chapter 5.

It was also said,

whoever divorces him,

or whoever divorces his wife,

let him give her a certificate of divorce.

But I say to you,

that everyone who divorces his wife,

except on the grounds of sexual immorality,

makes her commit adultery,

and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Again, you have heard it said,

you have heard that it was said to those of old,

you shall not swear falsely,

but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.

But I say to you,

do not take an oath at all,

either by heaven, for it is the throne of God,

or by the earth, for it is his footstool,

or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great king.

And do not take an oath by your head,

for you cannot make one hair white or black.

Let what you say be simply yes or no.

Anything more than this comes from evil.

Let's pray as we continue to look at God's word together.

God, I pray tonight that you would help us

to understand this part of your word.

Help us to understand what you are saying to us through it.

Help us to see, Lord,

how it is that you want us to live in this world

under you as our king.

Help us to understand how it is that you,

as our king, enable us to do this.

God, I pray you would help me tonight

to speak your word,

Lord, that you would be with us by your spirit.

We pray these things in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.

So what does the kingdom of God look like

in issues of marriage

and of taking oaths?

Neither of these are probably the things

that jump to our mind

about how to think about topics,

but they're ones that Jesus feels like

are so important

that he includes them in this sermon.

So we're going to look at them in this order

and try to explain or understand

how it is,

what it is that Jesus is saying to us.

So as we look at verses 31 and 32,

let me just,

as we dive into this particular passage,

this particular passage,

a brief pastoral note,

the issue of divorce is a particularly painful one

in our culture today.

It's a particularly difficult one

because it's a pain that many people have gone through.

And there's a huge diversity of views on it

in our world.

And I want to say tonight

that I want to speak faithfully

from the scriptures,

what it says,

but I want you to also know

that in my pastoral counseling

and in my care,

and even for some of you,

I want you to know

that I know how painful it can be.

If this is something

that has been a part of your story

up until now,

please know that God's heart

and my heart for you

is that you'd experience

the grace of the gospel

in the midst of that pain.

So let me just start with that

and we'll come around at the end

when we talk about some application.

This may be a hard word for some of us.

It's going to challenge

some of our cultural assumptions potentially,

but it's a good word for us.

So let's look at it together.

Jesus begins in verse 31

and he's talking about,

he jumps right into the issue of divorce,

but one of the things

that's really important to see

is that there's an assumption

that Jesus is making.

He's starting with an assumption

as he's talking about marriage

that a vow was made.

A vow was made between two people

to have and to hold

from this day forward

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish

till death do us part.

That's the old classic prayer book

vows that happen in a wedding.

And Jesus is assuming

that that's the basis

upon which marriage

has been entered into.

And in light of that then,

he's trying to deal with something

that was going on

in the first century

that was based on an understanding

of a part of the Old Testament law.

If you went back to Deuteronomy 24,

Deuteronomy 24:1–4

verses 1 through 4,

you would see this long sentence

that says,

now if a man divorces his wife

and gives her a certificate of divorce

and then he marries another one

and then he divorces that wife

and then,

and it has this long set of conditions

that seems to be,

when you read it carefully,

the whole point is,

of the law in Deuteronomy

is to say

that if you've divorced someone,

you can't remarry them

after they've married someone

and been divorced again.

Okay?

That seems to be actually

the point of it.

And it's, at some level,

a pretty obscure part of the law

and its purpose,

as you look at it in context,

is to deal with

what happens when marriage doesn't work

the way it's supposed to.

Right?

What happens when marriage

isn't all,

isn't all that we hope it would be?

What happens when divorce,

and, and the particular regulations

were meant to protect

and to care for people

in the middle of this broken situation.

Okay?

So that's the Deuteronomy context

from which this idea

of a certificate of divorce

came about.

Now, in the first century,

and you can read through,

there were rabbinical schools

that taught,

that sort of had a debate

about how did this happen.

There's a conservative school

that said,

well, there is this thing,

but really,

this certificate of divorce

can only be given

in very,

in a very circumscribed

set of conditions.

And then there was

a broader category

under the Rabbi Hillel,

actually,

whose name is still

kicked around today,

where, in fact,

it had a very expansive view

that a man could divorce his wife

for all sorts of reasons.

In fact, it specified

that he could divorce his wife

because she burned the food

or simply because

he found another woman

that he liked better

than his wife.

It was a very broad understanding.

And somehow,

in the first century,

this text in Deuteronomy

that had a very narrow,

circumstantial application

became the basis

for a whole theology

of men who were saying,

I can leave my wife

whenever I feel like it,

whenever it seems good to me,

whenever I don't like

something about her,

or I like something else more.

This viewpoint

was what Jesus was addressing

in verses 31 and 32.

Look at it with me again.

It was said,

whoever divorces his wife,

let him give her

a certificate of divorce.

Okay?

So he's saying,

that's what the old law is.

And in that

was all of this understanding

of this expansive freedom

for men to just

abandon their wives

and give them

a certificate of divorce

so they could remarry

someone else

so they wouldn't be abandoned.

And in the first century society,

that would be a terrible thing

because a woman

who had been divorced

was basically on her own

and she'd have very little means

to support herself.

She would have very little opportunity

to take care of herself.

And it's really,

it would,

so that certificate of divorce

was not completely

without merit.

But he's,

but this was the understanding of it.

And then he goes on,

he says,

but I say to you,

everyone who divorces his wife,

except on the grounds

of sexual immorality,

makes her commit adultery,

and whoever marries a divorced woman

commits adultery.

What is he saying here?

Turn with me really quickly

to Matthew 19.

You don't have to,

we're not going to read the whole thing,

but it's really helpful

to see that Jesus kind of

summarizes in this passage

in verse 5

what he's saying

more broadly in verse 19.

The Pharisees come to him

and say,

you know,

when is it lawful to divorce?

And Jesus expansively says,

you're asking me about,

on what conditions

can I break my promise

of marriage?

And he comes back

and he says,

he quotes from Genesis

and he says

that God created humanity,

male and female,

and that the two,

right,

that a man,

verse 4,

right,

God,

in the beginning

he made the male and female

and then he said,

and he's quoting from Genesis 2,

now,

therefore,

a man shall leave

his father and his mother

and hold fast to his wife

and the two shall become

one flesh.

They are no longer two,

but one flesh,

what therefore God

has joined together,

let not man separate.

So people are coming to him

saying,

hey,

what are the grounds

on which I can do this?

And he's saying,

whoa,

whoa,

whoa,

let's step back

and make sure we get

the right things right first.

God wants you to understand

what he's doing in marriage.

Marriage is this sacred,

beautiful union

that he has created

and it was in the very fabric

of creating humanity

that men and women

would come together

in this marital relationship

and in their coming together

the two would become

one flesh

and they would become

a union

that is not simply

a contract.

It's not simply

a mutually beneficial

agreement

for as long as they both think

that it's beneficial,

but instead

it's a mystical,

spiritual,

but very real union

where two become

one flesh.

Right?

It's like

when I was in high school

I went to this

Saturday morning

like science thing

and I don't remember

very much.

I was a history major.

My science acumen

was pretty low,

but I remember

they did really cool experiments.

That's what I remember.

We like stuck a rose

in liquid nitrogen

and shattered it

and that was really cool

and we figured out

about gravity

and deceleration.

One of the things

we did was polymers.

Right?

And I can't tell you

a bit about

the chemistry of polymers,

but all I know

is that polymers

can be made

where you take two things

and you stick them together.

Right?

And the place

where they gather together,

all I remember

is this big jar.

You guys,

some of you are chemistry majors.

You're like,

yeah, I know exactly

what you're talking about.

A big jar that was clear

and had a blue liquid on top

and a red liquid on the bottom

and the guy reached in

with some tweezers

and grabbed the place

where those two things met

and he started to pull it out.

And the place

where those two things

came together,

a polymer was formed

by the chemical reaction

between the two of them

and the fiber of it

became something else.

And once he pulled it out,

you couldn't then

separate it back out

into blue and red.

It was a new thing.

And this is what God

does in marriage.

He takes two people,

two independent people

created in the image of God

and he brings them together

in a union

that is unique,

that is special,

and that is meant

to be lifelong.

And that union

is meant to be

unbroken.

Marriage vows

unseat our

independent selfishness

by saying,

I'm committing to you.

And it's a huge cost,

isn't it?

For those of you

who are married,

it's a huge cost

to say,

I will have you

no matter what.

But in that,

there's a great gift.

There's joy

and freedom

and beauty

and power

in that two

becoming one

in that union.

And so when Jesus

hears a question

about divorce,

he goes back

and he wants

to remind you,

God wants you

to maintain

your marriage.

That's the first thing

he wants you to do.

And he wants you

to recognize

that any time

divorce happens,

it's a rending

of something

that was meant

to be together.

It's trying

to pull apart

a polymer.

And he goes on

and he says,

oh,

and if adultery

has happened,

that's already

been a rending

of that relationship.

And so that may be

a case where divorce

may be legitimate.

But if it's not,

if you divorce someone

for some other reason

and then you send

them out

and the assumption

is they would get remarried,

then you make

your spouse

an adulterer.

If you divorce

your wife

and she goes out

and she's alone

in the world,

well, of course

she's going to remarry.

But by remarrying,

she's now,

you've now rent

the thing

that God

has put together

and sent her off

to do this thing

that she ought

not to do.

So Jesus

is saying to us,

this is life

in the kingdom

where we take

very seriously

our marriage vows.

We count the cost.

We count the cost

of the loss

of our freedom

when we enter

into it.

And we don't

take lightly

divorce

because divorce

is a violation

of those vows

and of the meaning

that God gave

to marriage.

marriage.

And even

when divorce

may be legitimate,

it is only

in the context

where that marriage

has already

been broken.

Biblically,

there are a few

other grounds.

Desertion

is the one

most obvious one

where you're

abandoned

by a spouse.

There are other

grounds

potentially

where divorce

may be

legitimate

biblically.

But I think

we maybe live

in a culture

where we're

very much

like the first

century,

where people

think,

hey,

we're going

to get married

as long as

it's convenient

for us.

And, you know,

I mean,

what's the classic

line when you

read celebrities

who break up?

Irreconcilable

differences.

We're still

friends,

we just don't

want to be

married anymore.

God wants us

to take our

vows far,

far more

seriously than

that because

he has made

it far,

far more

significant

than that.

For those

of you who

aren't married

and for those

of you who

are married,

another

implication of

this is to

recognize that

the physical

union of

sex is

meant to be

a consummation

of a marriage

relationship.

And so it's

really significant.

And adultery

is a rending

of that.

And sexual

union outside

of marriage

is a violation

of God's

intended purpose

for that.

We need to

recognize that

this is meant

to be a hole

for us

in God's

kingdom.

And again,

to recognize

that our

selfish use

of our

physical bodies

with other

people outside

of marriage

is not

characteristic

of God's

kingdom.

God wants

us to count

the cost

of living

in his

kingdom

and pursue

sexual purity

in our

lives.

Finally,

why is this

so important

to God?

Well,

you should read

the book of

Hosea.

It'll talk

about how

faithful God

is to his

promises to

his people,

even in the

face of

unfaithfulness.

Even he

talks about

his people

as being

prostituting

spiritual

people who

run around

and sleep

with other

gods spiritually.

And yet,

in it,

there's this

picture of a

God who

relentlessly

pursues his

people.

He will be

faithful to

his promises

to pursue

his love

that he

has set

on his

people.

And marriage

is meant

to be a

physical

picture of

that in

the world.

So,

Jesus says,

this is what

it looks like

in the

kingdom as

we think

about marriage.

And then he

goes on,

he talks

about oaths.

Go back

to Matthew

6,

if you're,

or Matthew

5,

starting in

verse 33.

Now,

I don't know

how many of

you grew up

with the

King James

Bible,

but you

even see

it here

in verse

33.

And you've

heard it

said to

those of

old,

you shall

not swear

falsely.

When I was

growing up,

the only part

of that I

ever heard

was,

you should

not swear,

which I

thought meant

don't curse,

don't use

foul language

towards other

people,

because that's

ungodly,

that's bad,

don't do

that.

I thought

it was just

about not

having a

clean mouth

instead of

having a

potty mouth.

But it's

not that

at all.

Right here,

what he's

talking about

is making

an oath,

making a

promise,

or swearing

by something

in two

contexts.

One,

when you're

publicly

testifying,

right?

So if you

go into

a courtroom,

I swear to

tell the

truth,

the whole

truth,

nothing but

the truth,

so help

me God,

right?

You put

your hand

on a

Bible,

you put

your hand

up in

the air,

and you

swear that

you're

going to

testify that

what you

are saying

is true.

Or the

other time

is sometimes

we use it

to try to

give greater

weight to

a promise.

I swear

in my

mother's

grave,

I'll be

there.

Right?

Sometimes we

even vote

God,

by God,

I promise

I will be

there.

And when

we say it

that way,

what we

mean is,

in the

old-fashioned

sense of

it,

may God

judge me

if I

do not

do what

I say

I'm going

to do.

It's calling

God as

a witness.

And so you

see this in

the Old

Testament at

times.

You see

people making

oaths,

you see

them swearing

even by

the name

of God.

In fact,

this is what

the third

commandment is

about in

Exodus 20

Exodus 20:7

verse 7.

You shall

not take the

Lord's name

in vain.

Again,

most of the

time I

thought that

just meant

don't curse,

don't use

Jesus' name

when you

stubbed your

toe and

you're really

angry.

Right?

But what

he's actually

saying is

don't swear

by God.

Don't

presume

to bring

God in

and to

make him

the guarantor

that your

word is

true.

There are

other places,

Leviticus 19,

Numbers 30,

Deuteronomy 31,

where there

are other

places where

you see

what Jesus

is referring

to in the

Old Testament

basically saying

don't swear

by the

Lord falsely.

If you

swear by

the Lord,

you better

make sure

you do

it because

otherwise

God will

come and

judge you.

That's the

Old Testament

picture that

you see.

But by the

first century,

the Jewish

rabbis,

the Pharisees

had developed

an incredibly

complex

system

by which

you could

swear

by some

things and

you'd have

to do it

and it

would mean

it.

And you

could swear

by other

things and

if you did

it, it's

okay, but

if you

didn't, it's

okay too.

Right?

It's kind of

like when in

grade school

you'd like,

yeah, I

promise I'll

come over to

your house

after school

but I'm

not going

to come

because I

crossed my

fingers behind

my back.

Right?

So there

was this

whole system

whereby, and

it was a

religiously

sanctioned

system whereby

you could

swear some

things and

you kind of

had to do

them but

then you

could swear

other things

and it

didn't matter

if you did

them or not.

Right?

And people

were selfishly

using this

system to

manipulate their

words with

others in

order to get

what they

wanted, in

order to

manage their

life so that

they wouldn't

be over

committed.

They wouldn't

lose their

freedom by

actually having

to follow

through with

the things

that they

said.

And that's

why Jesus

says, but

I tell you,

don't make

an oath at

all.

Let your

yes be

yes and

your no be

no.

It doesn't

matter what

you swear

by.

And part

of what he's

getting at

is if you

swear by the

throne of

God, you're

swearing by

God himself.

If you

swear by

earth, well

that's no

better because

the earth is

God's footstool.

If you swear by

Jerusalem, well

that's no better

because that's the

city of the

king.

If you swear by

your own head,

the fact is you

don't have any

sovereignty over

your own head.

God is the

one who makes

your hair white

or black or

brown or whatever

it is.

And so no

matter what you're

swearing by in

this world,

ultimately you're

swearing by God.

And Jesus

says, in my

kingdom you

should not

need to

swear by God

because you

can simply let

your yes be

yes and your

no be no.

no.

How hard is

this for us to

let our yes be

yes and our no

be no?

When you make a

promise to meet

someone for lunch

and it becomes

inconvenient, how

hard do you work

to keep your

appointment?

I know this is

unlikely in our

current economic

culture, but if you

have two job

offers, do you

play them along

for a while to

figure out how

you can get the

best deal out of

it?

How quick are

you to make

sure that when

people say things

about you that

sound good but

may not be true,

that you are

willing to

clarify to make

sure that your

presentation of

truth is consistent

and real?

How about your

big promises?

Things like

marriage, things

like financial

commitments to

other people.

I'll pay my

bills.

Part of that is

because you've

made a promise in

some ways.

I get a service

from you and I'm

going to pay you.

I'm going to do

everything I can to

follow through to be

a person whose word

is trustworthy in

that.

When we follow this,

we need to recognize

that it's costly,

isn't it?

It's costly to keep

our marriage vows no

matter what.

It's costly to keep

our word no

matter what.

It's costly for me

to say to my

young son,

yes, Eli, I will

play pirates with

you and to put

everything else

aside, all the

other things I

hope to do that

day, all the

other things I

think I need to

do that day,

and simply to be

with him because I

told him that I

would be.

I would be.

Why does Jesus

care about this so

much?

Well, because he

wants us to be

characteristic of us

in his kingdom

because it's

characteristic of

him.

In 2 Corinthians

2 Corinthians 1 · chapter mention

chapter 1, the

apostle Paul is

writing to the

church in

Corinth, and

they've accused

him of

waffling.

Are you

coming or

are you not

coming?

Are you

coming or

are you not

coming?

He said, I

am coming.

I'm doing

everything.

Verse 17, he

says, what is I

vacillating when I

wanted to do this?

Do I make plans

according to my

flesh and say yes,

yes, and no, no,

at the same time?

As surely as God

is faithful, our

word to you has

not been yes and

no.

For the Son of

God, Jesus Christ,

whom we proclaimed

among you, Silvanus

and Timothy and I,

was not yes and no,

but in him it is

always yes.

For all the

promises of God

find their yes in

him.

That is why it is

through him that we

utter our amen to

God for his glory.

Friends, this is why

it's so important for

God's people in God's

kingdom to be people

who keep their word

because we follow a

God who has kept his

word.

And he has kept his

word by promising to

redeem for himself a

people from every tribe

and tongue and nation.

If you listen to the

scripture from 1 Peter

that was read earlier,

that God was going to

gather people from every

tribe and nation not

because they were

righteous, but because

they were sinful people.

And in gathering them

to be his people, he

knew that he could not

simply overlook their

sin for that would be

not keeping his word

because his word is that

sin must be punished, that

evil must be dealt

with.

But he counted the cost of

that promise that he

made.

And he sent his own son,

Jesus Christ.

And in Jesus Christ, all

the promises, the promise

to punish sin, the promise

to rescue people who are

sinful and to make them his

own.

Those promises are kept in

Jesus because Jesus came

and lived the sinless life

that we couldn't live and

died the death that we

deserve for our sin and

rose from the dead so that

in him he could both be

just in punishing sin and

the justifier, that is, the

one who welcomes in ungodly

people and accepts them

because of what Jesus has

done.

He counted the cost, the

cost of his very own son when

he set his love on us and

pursued us.

He counted the cost and he

gave Christ for us so that in

Christ all the promises of God

might be yes for us.

And friends, because Jesus has

paid this price for us, because

he has given us new life in

him, because he works then in

our heart to know God, we are

able now to count the cost and be

men and women of our word in our

marriages and in every other

context.

Let's pray.

God, these are sobering words, for

they challenge us to think about

how we live in very practical

ways.

God, I pray that you would help

us, Lord, to think deeply about

what it really looks like to live

in your kingdom.

Lord, I pray you would expose our

selfishness and the ways that we

so easily want to live for

ourselves.

God, I pray that we would see

Christ who did not live for

himself but gave himself up for

us so that, Lord, we might become

his.

And in seeing him, we might know

how to walk down this path of being

oath keepers, vow keepers, people

who pursue your kingdom for your

glory, for your name's sake.

We pray this in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.