Pride: Walking in Wisdom

Good morning.

As we begin, I want to pray.

I want to ask you to pray with me.

Amen.

Lord, we come before you this morning in desperate need of you to help us.

Because even as we have sung and prayed just now that you would speak to us,

Lord, we need your help because in our natural selves we do not want to hear from you.

We do not seek to hear from you.

Lord, how often we desire to go our own way and to think our own thoughts

rather than hear your word speak to us.

I pray this morning that your Holy Spirit would have mercy upon us.

Lord, that we would sit together under your word and that you would teach us.

Lord, I pray this morning.

Lord, who is worthy to preach of these things?

I pray, Lord, that you, Lord, would work through me this morning,

that my words would be fitting, useful in your hands for all of our good,

that we may know more of your greatness.

Lord, we pray these things in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Tim Keller, in his masterful short book,

The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, writes this.

Up until the 20th century,

traditional cultures have always believed that too high a view of yourself

was the root cause of all evil in the world.

And he goes on to point out that exalted self-regard

has been typically seen as the root of most crime,

violence, abuse, cruelty, and just plain bad things.

He goes on to say,

Traditionally, the answer for why these things happened was hubris,

the Greek word meaning pride or too high a view of yourself.

Traditionally, that was the reason why people misbehave.

Tim Keller goes on in this little book,

let me recommend it to you,

The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness.

It's downstairs on the bookstall.

He goes on then to say,

In our modern Western culture,

we have shifted to a different way of thinking,

that it is not a too high view of ourselves,

but in fact, too low of a self-regard,

or as it's commonly stated,

a lack of self-esteem

that has caused people to misbehave.

So he goes on,

and here he says this,

For example,

the reason husbands beat their wives,

and the reason people are criminals,

is they have too low a view of themselves,

that we have too little self-esteem.

He goes on in the book to say

that there's actually been some research done,

because much of the restorative work

that's trying to be done in prisons and schools

and other places

is based on this view of self-esteem.

And in fact,

the scientific studies have shown

that these approaches have not been successful

in transforming people.

Keller concludes by saying,

Perhaps the modern Western culture

has more to learn

from the traditional understanding

of where the root

of the problems that we face

in our own lives and in our world come from.

What does the Bible say about this?

How do we understand pride and humility

from a biblical standpoint?

Particularly today,

as we continue in our series of Proverbs,

we're looking at the second big chunk of the book

from 10 to 31.

We're looking at topics.

We're looking at collections of Proverbs

that help us understand a little bit

about the way of wisdom.

And so,

I want to point out as we continue

that in your bulletin,

right after the order of service,

there's a sermon supplement

that has many

and maybe even a few extra Proverbs

regarding the topic of wisdom,

the topic of pride and humility.

And so,

I point you to that

rather than furtively

and furiously trying to flip around

in your Bible

from passage to passage.

If you look at that,

that will help you follow along

as we look this morning.

This morning,

we're simply going to explore

these two concepts in sequence,

pride and humility.

What does Proverbs say about it?

How do we understand it in our own lives?

And what do we do about it?

So,

let's look at these things in order.

First of all,

pride.

What is it?

If you look it up in a definition,

in a dictionary,

you might read something like this.

Pride is pleasure or satisfaction

in one's own accomplishments

or of those closely related to you.

So,

you might be proud of your family

or proud of your associations,

proud of your country.

It might also mean

an excessively high view

of oneself.

And this is true,

isn't it?

When we use the word pride

as we talk about,

there are times when pride

can be positive.

You can take pride

in an accomplishment

of a job well done.

You could take pride

that you have been recognized

for your hard work

and gotten a promotion.

It could also have

a proper sense

of human dignity

that an athlete,

having laid it all out

on the field,

though he may not have won,

he could carry his head

off the field with pride

because he has fought well

and played well to the end.

There's a sense of dignity

that can come from it.

And all of these things

are good things

because they recognize

that God-given goodness

and celebrate them.

But interestingly,

when you come to the Bible,

it doesn't use these words

in these ways.

It is pretty uniform

that the Bible uses pride

as a negative term.

Specifically,

that it talks about

how quickly and how often

we make ourselves

the center of our universe,

how quickly we arrogantly

exalt ourselves

above the people around us,

wanting desperately

for their praise

and affirmation,

and how we seek glory,

not because of God-given goodness,

but for ourselves,

that we might be seen

as glorious.

And so,

Proverbs says things

like this.

Proverbs 16, 5,

Everyone who is arrogant

in heart

is an abomination

to the Lord.

Be assured,

he will not go unpunished.

Or Proverbs 21, 24,

Scoffer is the name

of the arrogant,

haughty man

who acts

with arrogant pride.

Here we see

the way the Proverbs

refer and use

the word pride

in all negative connotations.

And interestingly,

if you shift over

to the New Testament,

though you will also see

pride well scattered

throughout the writings,

one of the other concepts,

categories for you

to look for

as you read particularly

the Pauline epistles

is the idea of boasting.

For Paul brings in

this idea of boasting

as a recognition of pride

and how easily

we in boastful spirits

exalt ourselves.

How do we understand then

if this is what pride is,

where does it come from?

Why do we do this?

Well,

it comes from

the very, very root.

It comes from

our relationship

to God

and to others

and self.

We've talked about this

as we've gone on

about wisdom.

What is the way

of wisdom

that Proverbs

is encouraging us to do?

It's living in light

of God's created order

and it's living

along the grain

of how God created us

and what He created us for.

And as we walk in wisdom,

we do those things.

And pride is in fact

the opposite of that.

Pride is cutting across

the grain

at every turn

of God's plan for us.

Because in relationship

to God,

we want to make God

smaller and ourselves

bigger.

We want God

to serve our needs

rather than

our serving

Him

in His glory.

We want,

in fact,

as James prayed earlier,

to usurp Him

and to take His place.

Is this not

the very story

of the Bible

that we read?

From the very beginning,

what happened

in the Garden of Eden

in chapter 3?

Adam and Eve

lived in a place

where they were

perfectly provided for

in every way.

And yet,

the tempter came

and said,

is it really good enough?

Do you think God

is really being

all good to you?

Maybe He's holding back.

Why did He say

don't eat that fruit?

You could be like God,

you know.

And they took the bait.

And they disobeyed.

But even more than that,

what they did

is they decentered God

from the universe

that they lived in.

And they put themselves

in their place.

They aspired

and grasped

to be like God

themselves.

And in doing so,

shattered the fabric

of the created order.

And friends,

this has been

the human heart

ever since.

From the very beginning,

we are like this.

If you've ever had

a one-year-old

and a two-year-old,

you know

that they come out

ready to be

the center of the universe.

And they are ready

to get you

wrapped around

their finger

so that you

will serve them.

And the challenge

of the terrible twos

is a wonderful

and glorious

and heartbreaking

and exhausting job

of trying to help them

see that that's not

actually a good thing

for them

to be in the center

of their world.

because if you've seen

people as they

make themselves

the center of the world,

as you see the

dynamics of your own heart

as you strive

to do this,

it doesn't just affect

our relationship

with God,

does it?

It reflects our relationship

with others.

If we're the center

of the world,

then others are

there to serve us,

to do whatever

we need

in order for us

to feel good,

to feel affirmed,

to be glorified,

to be recognized.

And so,

in our relationships,

we use other people.

Sometimes,

as we've talked about

earlier in this series,

we look down

on people

so that we might

exalt ourselves.

we even do it

with ourselves.

Our relationship

to ourself

is broken

as we try

to take on

this arrogant

perfectionism.

It drives us

to deny

that we have

any faults.

It causes us

to focus

only on our strengths

and in doing so,

make us

disconnected

with who we

really are.

this impulse

of pride

is so

central to us

that it is

impossible

for us

to imagine

ourselves

without at least

this temptation.

Let me just

ask a couple

of questions

for you

to think about.

Have you ever

lost

an argument

that you've

replayed

in your mind

with someone?

have you ever

walked into a room

and sized up

everyone in the room

where you stand

in the pecking order?

Who's better than you?

Who's worse than you?

Who am I going to

spend time with

for my good?

Have you ever

found yourself

defensive

when someone

questioned

your actions

or your motive?

How do you

respond

when you've

been passed

over

for recognition

or promotion

that you think

you've deserved?

So just some

questions

for you

to ask

maybe to help

you see

in yourself

the impulse

of pride.

So what does

it look like?

If that's the

source of it

what does it

look like?

Proverbs helps

us a little bit

more concretely

with this.

There are a number

of different things.

First of all

one of the things

that's most clear

in the Proverbs

is that pride

shows itself

in those

who are wise

in their own

eyes

and unwilling

to receive

correction

from others.

And so

Proverbs

26 12

says

do you see

a man

who is wise

in his own

eyes?

There is more

hope for a fool

than him.

And perhaps

one of the most

famous sections

in Proverbs

3 5

through 7

trust in the

Lord with all

your heart

and do not

lean on your

own understanding

in all your

ways

acknowledge him

and he will

make straight

your paths.

Be not wise

in your own

eyes.

Fear the

Lord and

turn away

from evil.

We talked

about this

back in

late June

when we

talked about

words of

correction.

You can go

back.

It's on the

website if you

want to hear

it.

But here we

see one of

the root

issues.

Pride is

one of the

things that

makes us

unable or

unwilling

to receive

correction.

And in

fact it's

one of the

great

symptoms

or signals

of how

great our

pride is.

We don't

want other

people to

tell us

what to

do.

We don't

want other

people to

tell us

when we're

wrong.

We don't

want other

people to

question us

or correct

us.

Proverbs

says this

runs from

this root

of pride

where we

are in

the center

of the

universe.

If we

recognize

that God

is the

creator

and we

are simply

a creation,

if we

recognized

our human

frailty

and weakness,

it wouldn't

be very

hard for

us to

say,

I don't

know

everything.

I'm

not right

all the

time.

Please

help me.

Please

help me

to know

how to

do

things

better.

But we

don't,

do we?

It's

so

difficult.

It

makes us

unable to

acknowledge

or honor

God,

and it

shuts us

off from

being able

to hear

from others.

Another

thing that

Proverbs

points out

that uses

the word,

one of the

expressions of

pride is

arrogance

or haughtiness,

thinking better

of ourselves

than others

and being

full of

ourselves.

So,

in Proverbs

16,

17,

or 16,

16,

there are

six things

that the

Lord hates

and seven

things,

seven that

are an

abomination

to Him.

And He

starts the

list with

this,

haughty

eyes,

a lying

tongue,

and hands

that shed

innocent

blood.

And He

goes on,

you can

read the

rest of

the verses,

but what I

wanted you

to see is

at the

very top

of His

list there,

what does

the Lord

detest?

A haughty

eyes.

When you

look at

that word,

what it

means is

to be

full of

self,

to be

inflated

of

self-worth,

how often

do we

dismiss

people

because

they

don't

meet

our

standards?

Maybe

they're not

as smart

as we

are.

Maybe

they're not

as clean

as we

are.

Maybe

they aren't

as cool

or as

hip

or as

with it

or whatever

the word

is nowadays.

Eli,

help me

here.

whatever

it is

in junior

high

and high

school

about

being

in

or

being

out.

It's

the same

impulse

that drives

us towards

tribalism.

Who are

my people

defined by

who are

not my

people?

Friends,

it's at the

root of our

racism.

When we

look at

other people

and we

judge them

because of

the color

of their

skin,

haughty

eyes

and a

pride to

exalt

ourselves

by putting

other people

down.

And it

is an

abomination

to the

Lord.

Proverbs

says,

not only

is it

an unwillingness

to receive

correction,

not only

is it

this

arrogant

haughtiness,

but it

is also

glory

seeking.

Pride

seeks

glory

for

oneself.

So

interestingly

in

Proverbs

25,

6,

and 7,

do not

put yourself

forward in

the king's

presence

or stand

in the

place of

the great.

For it

is better

to be

told,

come up

here,

than to

be put

lower

in the

presence

of a

noble.

See

what he's

saying?

When you

walk in,

don't

assume

in the

king's

courtyard

that

you're

going to

be

received

like a

high,

important

person.

Assume

that you

are actually

a lowly

person.

If you

assume that

you're a

high and

important

person and

you're not,

then you

will be

shamed when

he puts

you low.

The impulse

to want to

be seen as

a high,

important

person is

what I'm

calling glory

seeking because

the word

honor in

the Proverbs

is related

to the

concept of

glory.

glory.

And so

being

honored is

actually being

given glory.

And when

God does

it to us,

it is a

wonderful thing

and it is a

right thing.

And there

are times

when we

might rightly

give it to

one another.

I give

glory to

the elders

that I

serve with

because I'm

so thankful

for their

constant

patience and

their steadfast

love for

this congregation.

And I may

give them

glory,

but to

self-seek

it,

to put

yourself in

the position

to say,

this is what

I need,

this is what

I want,

you have to

give it to

me,

to pursue

it and to

manipulate and

to strive

for it.

Well,

Proverbs

18.12

says this,

before destruction

a man's heart

is haughty,

but humility

comes before

honor.

So we

see that

this pride

actually will

lead us

not to

high places

but to

destruction.

It's only

in humility

that we

will actually

be able to

receive from

God and

from others

glory that

might be

rightfully

ours.

Think about

when,

again,

if you have

a young

one or

three-year-old,

Daddy,

look at

me.

Daddy,

look at

me.

Maybe

I've had

my daughter

grab my

face.

Daddy,

look at

me.

Sorry,

that didn't

work well

with the

microphone.

You know

what I'm

saying.

He takes

her face

and makes

Daddy,

look at

me.

And it

may be

innocent,

an innocent

cry for

an expression

of love

and attention

in a

three-year-old,

but how

terrible it

is when

it becomes

hardened

and codified

in our

life.

Look at

me.

See how

great I

am.

Let

me

exalt

myself.

Is

this not

what drives

the pettiness

of high

school

clicks?

Is

this not

what drives

the cutthroat

competitiveness

of the

workplace?

Or

the

Pinterest

posting

of a

perfect

life?

Are

not all

these

seeking

glory

for

ourselves?

Friends,

it even

can be

at work

here in

our

church.

We can

use

spiritual

things

to seek

glory.

Look

what a

great

servant

I

am.

Look

at how

faithful

I

am.

Look

at how

prominent

I

am.

Look

at all

the

skills

that

I

have.

And

the

hard

thing

is

that

all

of

those

things

may

be

true.

And

in

the

life

of a

humble

person,

they

are a

blessing.

to

our

congregation.

When

you

have

gifts

and

service

and

dedication

and

devotion

and

time

and

all

of

those

things.

But

you

see

how

quickly

they

get

twisted

and

none

of

them

become

true

blessings

for

the

church

when

the

heart

of

it

is

glory

seeking.

When

it's

all

about

me.

Look

at

me.

What

a

great

servant

I

am.

What

a

great

Christian

I

am.

Interesting

how

Jesus

pointed

this

out.

He

called

it

the

men

who

serve

who

do

things

to be

seen

by

other

men.

Think

about

the

parable

of the

Pharisee

and the

tax

collector

who

prayed

I

thank

you

God

that

I'm

not

like

other

men.

In

his

righteousness

his

self

righteous

service

he

exalted

himself.

So

Proverbs

points to

these

things.

Friends

I just

want to

tell you

that

Proverbs

could go

on for

a thousand

chapters

about

how

pride

produces

sin

and

ugliness

in our

lives.

Think about

let me just

run through

quickly.

Our

envy is

driven

by pride

because

I deserve

what they

have.

Self

pity

is driven

by pride

because

I deserve

better than

this.

Anger

is driven

by pride

because

my will

is thwarted

and I

am not

being

rightfully

acknowledged.

A

critical

spirit

is driven

by pride

when we

look at

others

and say

you're

not good

enough

for me.

You're

not

meeting

my

standards.

Defensiveness

is driven

by pride

when you

say I

couldn't

have done

something

wrong.

Arrogance

is driven

by pride

when you

look at

another

person

and say

you are

beneath

me

and

unworthy

of my

time

and

attention.

Competition

drives

us at

times to

some of

the most

unspeakable

evils.

I

will

go and

take

from

you

what

you

have

not

because

I

want

it

but

simply

so

that

I

can

prove

that

I

can

take

it

from

you.

Self-centeredness

is driven

by pride.

Isn't it

all about

me?

Self-reliance

is driven

by pride.

I can

do it

myself.

I don't

need

you.

Self-abasement

is driven

by pride.

When I

think I'm

terrible

and lowly

and worse

than anything

it is because

I believe

that I

ought to

be something

good that

I'm not

and I

can't be

there and

so I

judge myself

in such

a way

that crushes

me.

That's not

humility.

We'll get

there in a

minute.

That's

actually

pride

in a

converse

form.

Friends,

pride is

a universal

problem.

Let me

just speak

to two

forms in

our

particular

context

here.

Many

of you,

at least

some of

you,

are related

to that

big

university

over there

with a

worldwide

name,

right?

Yale.

You're

connected

to Yale

and it's

a big

deal

in the

world.

And it

is so

easy

to be

related to

Yale in

a way

that feeds

your pride.

If you're

an undergrad

here,

I don't

think the

undergrads

are here

yet,

not quite,

but,

you know,

they tell

them,

you're the

best and

the brightest.

You're

going to

go change

the world.

It's

this

indoctrination

when they

come in.

How are

you going

to be

good stewards

of your

experience

at Yale

because

you are

the best

and the

brightest?

And they're

fed this

over and

over and

over again.

And those

of you who

are here

studying and

PhDs and

graduate school

and even

working at

it,

you have

incredible

giftings and

incredible

opportunities and

incredible

resources.

And you

should not be

ashamed of

any of those

things.

But your

danger is,

are you

allowing it

to build

your pride?

Are you

allowing it

to shape

your relationships

with other

people?

Are you

allowing it

to shape

your values

where you

end up

seeking glory

for yourself,

being

resistant to

correction,

and being

haughty,

looking down

on others?

Paul in

1 Corinthians

4-7

says this,

what do you

have that

you did

not receive?

And if you

received it,

why do you

boast as if

you did not

receive it?

pride?

The other

contextual

expression of

pride is that

we're in New

England.

And I know

some of you

are transplants

and you've

come here

from other

places that

may not

struggle with

this in the

same way,

but there

is a unique

kind of New

England

self-sufficiency.

I can do

it myself.

I don't need

others in my

business.

I don't

need community.

I am a

self-sufficient

man.

And you

need to

stay away.

Don't butt

in.

I don't

need your

ore in

my water.

Thank you

very much.

And again,

there's a

good thing

here.

There's a

resilience and

a strength

and a

perseverance.

People who've

endured long

winters in

farming and

rocky soil for

decades and

generations,

generations,

it's not a

bad,

there is good

to it.

But you see

the danger.

The danger is

that you think

that you actually

can do it

yourself and

that you don't

need other

people.

In doing so,

you have

displaced God

in your life

and said,

I don't need

God because I

can do it on

my own.

And you've

displaced the

role that God

wants other

people to play

in your life,

particularly in

the church.

Where you need

people to come

into your life

to love you,

to bear your

burdens,

to speak truth

and love to

you,

to have mercy

and show

kindness,

to encourage

you daily,

and all the

other things

that the

community of

God's people

are called

to do

together.

And even

outside the

walls of this

church,

to bless our

world and our

community with

these things.

And we cut

ourselves off

from those

things and we

exalt ourselves

to the position

that John

Dunn referred to

when he said,

no man is an

island,

no man stands

alone.

But we so much

want to be,

don't we,

here in New

England?

Some of you are

like that.

And you barely

made it here this

morning because you're

not sure why.

pride.

Well,

friends,

we must be

careful of

this.

We must be

aware.

These are some

of the particular

societal and

cultural expressions

of pride that

we live around.

Friends,

we've already

read it,

but let me

remind you

again that

Proverbs gives

this warning,

a warning in

26,

2,

that there is

no hope for

one who is

wise in his

own eyes.

or the

famous words

that you've

heard before,

Proverbs 16,

18,

and 19,

pride goes

before destruction

and a haughty

spirit before

a fall.

It is better

to be of a

lowly spirit

with the poor

than divide

the spoil

with the

proud.

Do you see

what the

Proverbs are

saying there?

What we want

so much in our

pride is to be

lifted up and

exalted and to

be in this

place of

prominence.

And it is

the very

essence of

foolishness and

proverbial foolishness

because it does

not lead to

success in that

endeavor, but it

leads to

destruction.

It is better

to be poor

and humble

because even

the spoil that

we have with

the proud in

the end will

be taken

away.

We see this

throughout

scripture, we

see this over

and over and

over again.

The pride

leads to

destruction and

a fall.

But thankfully,

the way of

wisdom which

exposes this

pride as

foolishness says

there is another

way.

There is a way

of humility

for us to

walk in,

a way that

brings us

out of this

pattern of

running against

God's grain and

running along

with the grain

of God's

created order

and purposes

for us.

So let's now

look at humility

for a few

minutes.

What is

humility?

Well, again,

a definition.

A modest or

low view of

one's importance.

Interestingly,

it's ambiguous.

Is humility a

bad thing or

is it a realistic

thing?

Is it a good

thing?

Well, depending

on how we use

it, it could be

both.

Sometimes in

common use, we

use humility and

we think it's a

terrible thing.

Sometimes we

use it in light

of sort of

humiliation as

something that is

destructive to

someone's dignity

and self-worth.

Biblically,

humility is

always a good

thing.

It is a

rightly modest

view of

oneself.

And again,

where do we

see this?

At its core,

consider back

at the Garden

of Eden

before sin

entered the

world.

What did

Adam and

Eve do?

They received

from God

everything that

they needed.

God provided

for them and

they put

themselves in

a dependent

and receiving

place, which

would be

vulnerable except

that providing

the provider

was perfect and

all-powerful and

never failing.

And so, in

their humility,

they said, yes, I

will put myself in

that place of

vulnerability and

know that I need

to receive.

It also meant that

they submitted to

His commands.

He said, don't eat

of the tree.

And for a while,

they didn't.

And that seemed

right and good.

It also seemed they

acknowledged and

enjoyed God's

presence.

He would come and

walk with them in

the cool of the

day.

And this was a

good and beautiful

thing and they

trusted in God's

goodness.

To have humility

allows us to

relate to God

properly as His

creation,

receiving from

Him as His

creator and

living under

His sovereign

good rule in

our lives.

And wonderfully,

it actually then

also allows us to

relate to others

better as well.

We look at the

people around us

and we are no

longer in competition

for glory with

them.

And that allows us

to receive them,

to look at them

and celebrate them

for the unique

gift that they

are to this

world, to the

unique way that

God has made

each one of us

and allows us to

explore and

celebrate differences

as a good

thing.

It means we

don't have to

live with

comparison anymore.

Am I better

than them or

not?

It simply means

we can look at

them and enjoy

them for who

they are.