Marriage

So we're continuing in our Adult Sunday School class on gender and sexuality.

I am re-recording this session because the Sunday School recording device did not work on the 13th,

so we won't have any Q&A recorded from that session, but I did want to re-record the lesson.

Last week we considered how our bodies, gender, and sexuality are all good and beautiful gifts from God.

And we also considered how every part of human nature and experience is broken because of sin and its effects.

And that's how we wanted to begin this class, to recognize that we are beautiful because God has made us in his image,

and yet we are broken because of sin and its effects.

And in order to have a healthy perception of ourselves and of others and of God,

we need to hold together these two biblical truths because they reflect the reality that we live in.

We're both beautiful and broken.

God's Word helps us to receive and celebrate what is beautiful and to resist being pulled along by what is broken.

So today and next week, we will be focusing on the shape of God's redemption.

That's sort of the third part of the biblical story.

We're created in God's image.

We're fallen and broken by sin.

But Christ has come to redeem us.

And one of the things that we see in the New Testament is that Christ's redemption includes our bodies.

Christ redeemed us by taking on our human nature, including a fully human body.

He accomplished our redemption through his faithful obedience to God throughout his entire earthly life,

culminating in his atoning sacrifice on the cross.

I've included some verses on the handout.

The Word became flesh.

Jesus Christ came in the likeness of sinful flesh.

He bore our sins in his body.

And because Christ accomplished our redemption in his body,

his redemption is also applied to our bodies.

Some of the early church fathers were particularly responding to a heresy called docetism.

And docetism basically meant that Jesus only appeared to be human,

or he only appeared to have a body.

And some of these docetists taught that Jesus sort of appeared in a body,

but really he was a spiritual being, and he abandoned his body,

so he didn't really, so the Son of God really didn't die on the cross,

is sort of what they were saying.

But the early church fathers were saying,

no, it's important.

It's important to affirm the biblical truth that,

these biblical truths that Christ became flesh,

because he came to redeem all of us.

He didn't just come to redeem our souls, to sort of zap us away,

but our salvation involves the redemption of the whole person.

Athanasius says,

the Lord touched all parts of creation and freed them all from every deceit.

And that's wonderful news,

that every part of us can be touched and renewed by the power of God.

But Jesus, so Jesus redeemed us through his body,

Jesus was raised bodily from the dead and ascended into heaven,

and he will come again with his body.

And so just as the consequences of the fall are written on our bodies,

our redemption in Christ is also written on our bodies.

Hebrews 10.22 talks about our hearts are sprinkled clean from an evil conscience,

and our bodies are washed with pure water.

Most likely that's a reference to baptism, right?

The New Testament commands believers in Christ to be baptized in water,

and among other things,

that outward act is a sign that our bodies are now set apart for the holy service of Christ.

Our bodies are now as holy,

and even more so perhaps,

than the temple in the Old Testament,

and the objects that were used in the sacred worship of God.

In the Old Testament temple.

So Paul encourages us in his letters to live in light of that reality,

to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice,

and be transformed by the renewal of our mind.

Again, Paul holds together our outer selves and our inner selves,

our minds and our bodies.

1 Corinthians 6, he says,

Don't you know your bodies are members of Christ?

He doesn't just say,

Your souls are united to Christ,

and Christ lives in your soul.

No, he even says,

Now our bodies are members of Christ,

and so glorify God in your body.

So what we're looking at today,

and next week,

is what does it look like to glorify God in our bodies,

in light of how Christ has redeemed us,

particularly as it relates to our gender and sexuality.

Now there are many aspects of this,

there are many complex challenges that we may find ourselves having to navigate,

but today and next week,

I want to focus on two positive visions,

two paths that are clearly and repeatedly affirmed in the New Testament,

as ways that we can glorify God in our bodies,

namely,

faithfulness in marriage,

and celibacy in singleness.

So today,

we're going to focus on marriage.

And next week,

we're going to focus on singleness.

But really,

these two need to go together.

Jesus,

in Matthew 19,

he begins by affirming the goodness of marriage,

God's creational design from the beginning.

He quotes from Genesis.

And then in the same passage,

Jesus also affirmed that some of his disciples

will voluntarily renounce marriage

for the sake of God's kingdom.

1 Corinthians 7,

The Apostle Paul also affirms singleness and marriage

for the sake of God's kingdom

as ways that followers of Jesus can glorify God in our bodies.

Paul begins by saying,

I wish that all were single,

as I myself am.

And he goes on in that chapter

to elaborate some of the benefits

of being a single person

and a follower of Christ

and the particular opportunities that provides

to express devotion to Christ.

But then he goes on to say,

each has his own gift from God,

one of one kind and one of another.

Marriage and singleness

are both gifts from God

that can be received

and offered to him.

So today,

we're going to focus on God's affirmation of marriage,

which we see in both the Old and New Testaments.

And the next week,

we'll look at the distinctively New Testament

affirmation of singleness

for the sake of God's kingdom.

So here's the question we're looking at today.

In our beautiful and broken world,

how does marriage bear witness

not only to God's original design

for created humanity,

but also to God's redemptive purposes

for fallen humanity?

Well, from the beginning,

from Genesis,

we see that God intended marriage to be

faithful,

fruitful,

exclusive,

enduring,

and full of love and wonder.

So,

marriage is meant to be faithful.

Bone of my bone,

flesh of my flesh,

that was an ancient vow of loyalty.

It's what the Israelites said to King David

when he came,

when they were acknowledging him as their king.

They're saying,

we are bound together.

We are in this together.

We are yours,

and you are ours.

And that's what marriage is supposed to be.

Faithfulness to that one flesh union.

Marriage is also,

we see in Genesis,

intended by God to be fruitful.

God says,

be fruitful and multiply.

Genesis 1.28.

And so,

one of the outcomes of marriage

is that

it would be blessed with offspring,

and that life would be continued

in that way,

and fruitful in other ways as well.

Exclusive.

Marriage is also meant to be exclusive.

We see in Genesis,

the man shall be united to his wife,

the two shall become one flesh.

There are only two.

There are a man and woman,

and they become one.

Enduring.

Right?

Marriage is supposed to hold fast,

and full of love and wonder.

The first bit of poetry

is what,

is the word in the Bible

are the words that come out of Adam's mouth

when he sees Eve.

This at last.

This is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh.

And Adam rejoices.

He bursts out

in exclamation

in love

and joy

and wonder.

And so that's what marriage

is meant to be

from the beginning.

Faithful,

fruitful,

exclusive,

and enduring,

and full of love and wonder.

However,

the Bible is realistic,

and the Bible recognizes

that on this side of the fall,

we see the effects of sin

in marriages that do not,

and marriages or spouses

who don't embody those qualities.

So we see examples

in the Bible

of marriages

that become adulterous

instead of faithful.

For example,

David and his relationship

with Bathsheba.

Now,

the assumption

throughout the Bible

is always

that sexual union

is the bodily expression

of the marriage promise.

So that's why adultery

is so serious

because it's a bodily act

that is in itself

a repudiation

of the marriage promise.

It's the opposite

of confirming

and affirming

the marriage promise.

It's absolutely repudinating it

because sexual union

is inherently

the bodily expression

of the marriage promise.

It's saying,

I am giving myself

completely to you,

holding nothing back

and to you alone.

So in the Old Testament,

adultery

and other violations

of the marriage covenant

were punishable by death.

Premarital sex

was also something

that had serious consequences

even though it was not

punishable by death.

But if an unmarried man

and woman had sex together

consensually,

the man was required

to pay the bride price

that was given to the woman

or her family.

It was sort of a form

of life insurance

if the husband were to die

or abandon the marriage.

He was required

to sort of pay up

and marry the woman.

Now,

the point of that law

was to build a culture

where sex

among God's people

was neither cheap

nor casual.

And in particular,

the law prevented a man

from taking advantage

of a woman

and then avoiding

responsibility to her

and or children

in the future.

The New Testament

also contains

strong warnings

against sexual intimacy

outside the marriage covenant.

Now,

on the other hand,

the Bible

unabashedly celebrates

sexual love

within marriage.

It says,

this is something

that married couples

are intended by God

to enjoy.

We see that in Genesis,

we see that in Proverbs,

we see that in Song of Songs,

an entire book

of the Bible,

which is love,

poetry,

celebrating that relationship

between the man

and woman.

And we see that

affirmed in the New Testament

as well.

So that's sort of

the first distortion

of marriage

that we see

is when marriages

are adulterous

instead of faithful.

We also see examples

in the Old Testament

in particular

of marriages

that are infertile

instead of fruitful.

Now,

infertility is not

itself a sin.

But in the Old Testament,

it is seen as a curse

because God's covenant promise

was established

with Abraham

and his physical descendants.

And the primary way

that God built his kingdom

in the Old Testament

was through the people

of Israel,

the descendants of Abraham,

having babies

and circumcising

the male descendants

and raising them

according to the law

of the Lord.

So,

the emphasis shifts

in the New Testament

from expanding

God's kingdom

primarily through

the physical descendants

of Abraham

to expanding God's kingdom

through the spiritual

family of Jesus.

So,

in other words,

we seek to expand

God's kingdom

and to be fruitful

not only by having

lots of biological children

but by proclaiming

the gospel of Jesus Christ

and by showing hospitality

to our children,

to our neighbors

and even to our enemies.

And we'll see

that this shift

influences the New Testament

vision of singleness

for the sake of God's kingdom.

We'll get to that next week.

So,

that's the second way

that we see marriage

not living up

to God's creational design

is when it is infertile

instead of fruitful.

And again,

that is not a sin

but that's sort of

in the bigger picture

it's one of the effects

of living in a fallen world.

Something that

is to be mourned.

The third way

that we see marriages

falling short

in the Bible

is when they are polygamous

instead of exclusive.

Polygamy begins

within the line of Cain.

Then the first polygamous

Lamech

is characterized

by violence

and vengeance.

Polygamy's negative effects

and associations

are evident.

It leads to rivalry,

jealousy,

conflict,

neglect.

So,

you know,

there are many

prominent characters

Abraham,

Jacob,

David,

and Solomon

who had multiple

wives or concubines

but this is always

presented as a deviation

from God's original plan

with clearly negative effects.

Fourth way

that marriages

fall short

of God's design

is when they end

in divorce

instead of enduring

until death.

Divorce is always

a result of sin

even if

in some circumstances

such as one spouse

engaging in unrepentant adultery

pursuing divorce

is not in itself

a sin

but a response

to an unrepentantly

sinful situation.

And finally,

we see marriages

that are characterized

by complacency

and contempt

instead of love

and wonder.

For example,

Nabal

who's verbally abusive

toward his wife

Abigail

in 1 Samuel 25

or Michal

who has contempt

for her husband David

in 2 Samuel 6.

So,

again,

the Bible is

very honest

about these distortions

of God's design,

the pain

and the sorrow

caused by sin

and by its effects

but God doesn't

get rid of marriage

and he doesn't

replace it

with some other

arrangement

in this fallen world.

Throughout the Bible,

marriage is seen

as a gift of God

to the entire

human race.

it's a creation

ordinance.

Even non-believers

can recognize

and experience

some of the good

effects of marriage.

If a married couple

from another

religious background

or no religious

background

become Christians,

they don't need

to get married again

for their marriage

to be seen

as fully legitimate

before God.

However,

while marriage

is a creation

ordinance,

while it is a gift

that all human beings

can experience

and enjoy from God,

among God's

redeemed people,

marriage is also

a covenant sign.

And this is really

the point

of this whole lesson

as what I want

to sort of

lead us up to here.

Marriage,

biblical marriage

is intended

to point to something

greater than itself.

In particular,

marriage is a sacred

picture

of the covenant

union

between God

and his people.

So,

in the Old Testament,

God is the husband

and Israel

is the wife.

We see that

in Hosea,

sort of very

dramatically portrayed

in Jeremiah,

in Isaiah.

I think it's also

in Deuteronomy,

though I don't have

the reference.

In the New Testament,

Christ is the husband,

the church is his bride.

But in both

the Old

and the New Testaments,

the great mystery,

as Paul puts it

in Ephesians 5,

the great mystery

of marriage

as the union

of male and female

bears witness

to the far more

staggering

and awe-inspiring

union

of God

and his people

and the hope

that one day

heaven and earth

will be reunited

for all eternity.

See,

Christian marriage

is meant to be

a sign of that.

The union

between God

and his people,

the coming union

between heaven

and earth

when Jesus

comes again

and is united

with his bride,

the church.

And so this idea

of marriage

as a covenant sign

is the main difference

between the biblical

vision of marriage

and other understandings

of marriage.

In some traditional

societies,

marriage is primarily

the union

of two families

for the sake of,

for social reasons,

for social cohesion,

for family honor.

marriage is mostly

about the broader

society

or community.

In individualistic

societies

like the modern

western world,

marriage is primarily

a means of promoting

the happiness

of the two people

involved,

however those two

people might define it.

But the biblical

view of marriage

is distinctly

God-centered

rather than

human-centered.

Why is marriage

intended to be

faithful

and fruitful,

exclusive

and enduring

and filled

with love

and wonder?

Because that

kind of relationship

between a husband

and wife

reflects the character

of God's relationship

with his own

people.

You see,

those characteristics

aren't arbitrary.

And they're not

just things that

people like.

They're characteristics

of God's

relationship with us.

God is faithful.

He unwaveringly

follows through

on every one

of his promises

to us.

God,

in relationship

with us,

bears fruit.

God's word

produces the

spiritual fruit

of godly character,

of good works,

of transformed

relationships,

of spiritual children,

other people

coming to know

Christ and grow

in him.

So the union

between Christ

and his church

is faithful

and it's intended

to be fruitful.

It's also intended

to be exclusive.

God allows

no idols,

no rivals,

and no third parties.

Nothing

that can take

God's place

in our lives.

And God

is not distracted

but devoted

to our well-being.

Enduring

marriage

endures for a lifetime

but our

relationship with God

will last

for all eternity.

Marriage

is to be a picture

in this life

pointing

to an even

greater relationship

with God

that will last

for all eternity.

And finally,

our relationship

with God

is meant to be

full of love

and wonder.

That only increases

as we come

to know Christ

better.

Paul prays

that we would know

how high

and wide

and long

and deep

is the love

of Christ.

See,

that's the core

of what biblical

marriage was meant

to be.

A picture

of God's

very own

relationship

with us.

when Adam

and Eve

sinned,

they were sent

out of the garden

and sent away

to wander

in the wilderness.

So much

of our life

in this world

is wandering

in the wilderness.

So much

of the history

of God's people,

they were wandering

in the wilderness,

they were sent

into exile,

and marriage

in this fallen

world

where we are

far from our

true home,

marriage is a picture

of God's mercy

in bringing

his people back

into a temple

of intimate fellowship,

into a garden

of pure delight

under the protective

shadow of his wings

resting in

his reliable

promises.

And isn't that

at some level

what all human

beings truly

long for?

That place

of intimacy

and delight

and protection

and provision

and promise

faithful love.

Now,

that salvation

is not found

by getting married.

Let me be clear

about that.

If you think

that marriage

will be your salvation,

you will eventually

be disappointed

because all idols

eventually disappoint.

But marriage

in its most

ecstatic moments

and its most

enduring legacies

as well as in

its deepest struggles

and disappointments,

marriage is intended

to point us.

to God's

unchanging

and redeeming

and eternally

satisfying love.

Marriage is temporary,

but it's a picture

of a relationship

with our covenant

keeping God

that will last

for all

eternity.

Now,

the questions

I wanted us

to discuss

and reflect on

were these.

First,

what difference

does it make

for you,

either as a married

or a single person,

that marriage

is intended

to point beyond

itself to the

reality of a

faithful and fruitful

and exclusive

and everlasting

and full of joy

and wonder

relationship with Christ?

second,

how can we promote

a God-centered

rather than

human-centered

vision of marriage

in the Christian church?

Third,

can you think

of any examples

of Christian marriages

through which

non-Christians

have seen

God's character

or Christ's gospel

display?

break.