Sexual Assault

This morning's lesson on Lament and Hope, the Bible, and Sexual Assault

was not recorded due to a technical error,

so I am re-recording the lesson, which is summarized in the handout

that's also available on the website.

We had a testimony as well, but the testimony will not be recorded on the website.

It was only for the actual class.

But we have come to the last of our difficult topics concerning gender and sexuality.

We've considered homosexuality, we've considered transgender identity,

we've considered pornography, and today we will consider the topic of sexual assault.

These are different topics and yet all relate in some way to God's design for our bodies

and gender and sexuality and the ways that we experience the fallenness and brokenness of this world

and there are issues that Scripture speaks to, that Scripture has something to say about,

and that the redemptive story that is centered in Christ can help us to unravel and understand

and seek healing and grace from God.

This lesson includes material that may be disturbing.

It should be disturbing.

This is a difficult topic about something that is grievous and harmful.

But let us pray as we jump in, Lord, we pray that this session would be useful for all who hear.

We pray that you would equip us for every good work.

We pray that you would bind up those who are brokenhearted,

and we pray that you would give us your wisdom and clarity.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Amen.

So I want to start briefly with some current definitions and statistics.

Definitions of terms.

There are three terms that are used in different ways.

The first term, sexual assault, is the most general term.

It refers to various kinds of unwanted or non-consensual sexual behavior or contact.

Sexual abuse is the second term.

That usually refers to the sexual assault of a child, of a minor, or a person under 18.

The third term is rape, which is a more specific term.

Now, there is some debate about how broadly or narrowly to define sexual assault, the most general term.

There are legal questions.

The term is defined differently in different U.S. states.

And there's a variety of legal concerns surrounding that.

Different researchers define the term in different ways,

which is why there are a variety of different statistics out there.

Some larger and some smaller numbers.

Some of that depends on definitions.

And also, most sexual assaults are not reported to authorities or, at the very least, are reported many years later.

Particularly in the case of childhood, sexual abuse is often not uncovered at the time.

So, there's a variety of statistics out there for that reason.

Now, regardless of how terms are officially defined,

I think we should remember that many people have been wronged and harmed,

even if their experience doesn't fit a particular researcher's definition

or doesn't meet a criminal standard within their legal jurisdiction.

Now, how prevalent is sexual assault?

A commonly cited statistic is that one in four women and one in six men have been or will be sexually assaulted within their lifetime.

And that statistic seems well-founded.

If anything, the number, particularly for women, may be too low rather than too high.

So, according to a survey in 2010 by the federal government, the Centers of Disease Control,

18% of women, that's about 22 million women in the United States, had been raped.

So, 12% of women reported that they had experienced completed rape.

Another 5% of women reported that they had experienced attempted rape.

And others reported rape while being under the influence of alcohol or drugs and unable to consent.

So, that's a high number of women who reported that they had been raped.

There were also, as for men, there were five different studies in the 1990s and early 2000s,

which all concluded that between 14% and 18% of boys had been sexually abused before they turned 18.

So, this is a widespread phenomenon and a problem.

Now, there have been some controversies regarding accusations,

the question of how common are false accusations of rape or sexual assault.

I've included a detailed footnote in the handout.

I'm not going to go through that in detail right now.

There's a relatively small number of reports of sexual assault that are demonstrated to be untrue,

that are just completely fabricated.

There is a more significant number of situations where something happened

and the victim clearly has suffered some harm,

but it may not be clear to the rest of us exactly what happened.

Who did what when?

And there may not be enough evidence to convict the defendant of a crime.

So, just...

There's more that could be said about that question,

but I don't want to get caught in that debate right now,

but just want to acknowledge that.

And you can read the more detailed footnote on the handout

if you want more information on that.

Now, there is some good news.

From 1994 to 2010,

the prevalence of sexual assault and rape in the U.S. decreased by more than half.

So, it can...

This can be addressed.

It is not something that must be exactly the way it is now.

The rate has remained fairly steady since 2010.

Now, many people think of victims being raped by strangers at gunpoint.

That's actually very rare.

80% of victims were sexually assaulted by someone they previously knew.

In many cases, a relative,

occasionally a spouse or a friend,

a dating partner,

a pastor, a religious leader,

a coach, teacher, boss, therapist, doctor.

Most victims were sexually assaulted by someone in one of those categories,

rather than by a stranger.

Among child sexual abuse victims,

over 90% knew the person who abused them.

Perpetrators are rarely armed.

Only 7% possessed a weapon during the assault.

The vast majority of perpetrators are male,

over 95%.

The vast majority of victims,

about 90% are female.

However, male victims of sexual assault should not be overlooked.

They are much less likely to disclose information regarding their experiences.

And on trauma symptom inventory tests,

they reported higher levels of distress.

Now, what are some of the effects of sexual assault?

Well, victims of sexual assault in general,

and rape in particular,

were found to suffer disproportionately from depression,

suicidal thoughts,

post-traumatic stress disorder,

and alcohol and drug abuse.

Common emotional responses to sexual assault include denial,

shame, guilt,

anger,

distorted self-image,

and despair.

So,

this is a widespread problem with deep wounds that result.

Sexual abuse of children,

once again,

public statistics vary.

According to one researcher,

one in five girls and one in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse.

I, you know,

I've listed the best statistics I could come up with,

but I can't quite reconcile them all,

especially the male-female ratios don't quite line up.

But,

this,

it's a,

it's a significant problem.

In,

in society as a whole,

over the last two decades,

the problem of sexual abuse within religious communities has received increased attention.

This past week,

Rabbi Daniel Greer,

a prominent Orthodox Jewish rabbi in New Haven,

was sentenced to 20 years in jail

for repeatedly sexually abusing a teenage boy

who was enrolled in his Orthodox Jewish Yeshiva boarding school

for high school age students in the early 2000s.

Last January,

the Hartford Archdiocese of the Roman Catholic Church

released a report listing a total of 48 priests

and official leaders who had been credibly accused

of sexually abusing minors in the diocese since its founding in 1953.

Um,

uh,

but this is also a problem in Protestant,

uh,

churches.

This past February,

the Houston Chronicle reported that since 1998,

roughly 380 Southern Baptist church leaders and volunteers

have faced allegations of sexual misconduct involving over 700 victims.

About 220 offenders have been convicted

or took plea deals and dozens of cases are pending.

So this past June,

uh,

the Southern Baptist Convention devoted much of its annual meeting

to the topic of preventing sexual abuse

and caring well for survivors of abuse in the church.

There's an extensive report.

There's a website,

uh,

that's,

uh,

caringwell.com

that also includes a curriculum for local churches,

um,

and various initiatives towards preventing further sexual abuse

and caring well for abuse survivors in the church.

Now,

as for our church,

uh,

we have had Trinity Baptist church has had a sexual abuse policy

and procedures in place for several years

within our children's and youth ministries in particular.

Uh,

but policies and procedures in themselves are not sufficient.

And some of the big picture gospel principles

that we believe are important

is,

uh,

that the gospel calls us to cultivate a church culture

that's more concerned with reality

than with appearances.

Sometimes when abuse has been covered up in the church,

it's because we are more concerned with appearances than with reality.

And we think that the gospel calls us to the reverse.

Uh,

uh,

Jesus is brutally honest about our sin

and the suffering it causes.

And at the same time,

Jesus is amazingly gracious

towards both sinners

and

sufferers.

And so we want to follow Christ's example

and walk with Christ.

We want to be honest

and deal seriously with sin,

not deny or minimize or excuse

or pretend it's not there,

but to confront sin

when we find it in ourselves

and in each other

and to acknowledge that none of us

are categorically immune

to the deceitfulness of sin.

We cannot simply say,

that's a horrible thing.

I would never do something like that

because sin is deceitful.

And if you ask someone

who has,

who has,

has perpetrated sexual abuse,

if you ask them

10 years ago

or 20 years ago

or when they were 10 years old,

would you ever do that?

Many of them would have said,

no,

that's horrible.

I would never do that.

So we want to face sin honestly,

uh,

and,

and recognize its deceitfulness.

But we also want to walk

with each other in suffering.

Um,

we want to,

we acknowledge that sin

continues to have effects,

uh,

various effects

throughout the world.

And so we don't hold out

the false hope

of an easy,

comfortable,

and superficially happy life

in Christ,

but we want to lament.

The Bible calls us

to lament

the persistent

and deep

and widespread effects

of sin

in us

and in our world.

But even more than all this,

even more than taking sin

and suffering

seriously,

we want to be a people

who take Jesus

even more seriously,

who look to Jesus

and find his grace

is greater than all

of our sin.

And his grace

is greater than all

the ways that we have

been sinned against.

The grace of Christ

gives us hope

even in the darkest valleys

for he has gone before us

and his spirit

walks with us.

The grace of Christ

empowers us

to genuinely change

because his death

has freed us

not only from the penalty,

but also from the power

of sin.

And we see those

as some of the big picture

gospel foundations

for a healthy church culture

that will help us

going forward.

Now,

let me step back

for a minute

and just ask the question,

why does our secularized culture

care so much

about sexual assault?

And why should Christians

care about sexual assault?

I think we agree

that this is a significant concern,

but as our secularized culture

approaches it

from a slightly different

perspective

than the biblical one.

So the dominant view

of our secular culture

is that sexual assault

is evil

because it's a violation

of an individual's autonomy.

In other words,

it's a violation

of an individual's

personal freedom

to choose

whatever they want

to do with their own body

because your own body

belongs to you

and to nobody else.

Also,

our culture idolizes

sexual activity

and sexual expression

and sees it as

inherent

to human flourishing

and to

being a human being.

So,

I think our culture

is particularly sensitive

to sexual assault

because it seems

to threaten

an individual's freedom

to pursue

sexual activity

and sexual expression

unhindered.

Unfortunately,

I think there are

several weaknesses

of our culture's

dominant framework

for understanding

this issue.

So a few weaknesses

of our culture's

approach

to the issue

of sexual assault.

First of all,

in our culture's view,

everything

ultimately rests

upon

the consent

of individuals.

and so

this notion

of consent,

affirmative consent,

the notion

of consent

keeps getting

defined

and redefined,

but people

are grappling

with it

because it's

sort of

the only

absolute

we have left.

It's the only

sort of

strong moral

standard

that

everyone

is sort of

leaning on.

But here's

the problem

with individual

consent.

Do we always

know what

we really want?

Do we always

say what

we really

feel?

Even our

own hearts

can deceive

us and our

desires are

easily swayed

and often

change over

time.

And our

culture,

I think,

contributes to

this sort of

confusion.

Our culture

celebrates

unfettered

sexual expression,

unlimited

sexual expression.

It says,

sex can

mean whatever

we want

it to

mean.

It gives

us no

moral

boundaries

to guide

us and

then leaves

us to

ourselves

to decide

what we

want to

do and

says we

can change

our decision

at any

moment and

then we

struggle to

define what

consent is.

And many

people who

consented at

the time

later feel

awful.

So even

many people

outside the

church are

questioning

whether the

principle of

consent by

itself is

sufficient to

guide the

sexual relations

of human

beings.

another way

to put

this sort

of

contradiction

is that

our culture

simultaneously

expects and

pressures us

to be

sexually active.

One example

of this

sort of

cultural

pressure to

be sexually

active is

recently I

was talking

to a

20-something

year old

guy who

went to

see a

doctor and

in the

course of

the medical

checkup the

doctor asked

are you

sexually

active?

And the

guy said

no and

the doctor

said well

okay you

mean not

now.

And the

guy said

no actually

I've never

been sexually

active.

And the

doctor was

incredulous and

just needed

to be

persuaded and

sort of

couldn't

really believe

what the

guy was

saying.

You know

a 20-something

year old who

hasn't had

sex.

Our

culture

expects and

pressures us

to be

sexually

active.

And at

the same

time our

culture tells

us we

should never

be expected

or pressured

no matter

how slightly

into any

form of

sexual intimacy

by any

other

individual.

But isn't

that a

contradiction?

Right?

There's this

general expectation

and pressure

to be sexually

active and

then there's

everyone saying

but no,

no,

no,

you shouldn't

let any

other individual

ever pressure

you.

So I think

there's a

problem here.

The other

main problem

with our

culture's

dominant view

is that

healing is

ultimately

self-generated.

So there's

a lot of

emphasis on

self-love,

self-protection,

self-affirmation,

self-reliance,

but that can

be a crushing

burden to

bear.

When someone

is emotionally

fragile,

anxious,

depressed,

self-hating,

filled with

shame,

common emotions

that people

are feeling

after sexual

assault.

So that's

it.

And the

believing that

healing ultimately

comes from

ourselves can

lead us to

other places,

other desires

to ways of

seeking to be

in control of

the unpredictable

world around

us.

Those I think

are some

weaknesses of

our cultures

approach to

this issue,

but the

biblical worldview

I think gives

us a deeper

foundation and

offers more

enduring hope.

The biblical

worldview fully

agrees that

sexual abuse

and assault are

violations of

human dignity,

but in the

biblical view,

the reason for

that is that

God has

created us

in his

image.

Sexual assault

and abuse are

violations of a

body that God

has made.

Our body is a

temple, a

sacred space,

a precious gift

because God

has fashioned

it for himself.

And so sexual

abuse and

assault is not

just a sin

against another

individual and

their will, but

it is ultimately

a sin against

God the

creator.

Further, sexual

assault and

abuse are

violations of

God's good

design for

humanity.

God designed

human beings to

fulfill our

calling by

exercising

self-giving

love in a

variety of

ways, in

friendship, in

neighborhoods, in

the world, in

nations.

But one

expression of

this self-giving

love is the

union of

male and

female bodies,

lives, and

resources within

the promise of

marriage.

In marriage, the

bodies of

husband and

wife belong to

one another.

Paul says that

in 1 Corinthians

7.

And so, in

the biblical

worldview, marriage

provides the

safe context for

sexual intimacy,

that free,

self-giving

love, expressed

within the

context of a

total life

union.

And I think

that positive

understanding of

God's purpose

for us makes

sense of why

sexual assault is

such a violation

of human

dignity.

Because it

is the

opposite of

self-giving

love.

Now, the

Bible also

offers a

better hope for

significant healing

from a source

beyond ourselves.

I think that's

another thing the

Bible offers that

our culture doesn't

really.

Now, the

Bible doesn't

take away our

human responsibility,

it doesn't make

us resign to

fatalism, but it

tells us that

through Christ we

are beloved

children of

God.

And that we

can lean on

God in our

weakest and

darkest hours,

and that He

is compassionate

and gracious.

And that alone

can be a deeply

restorative

truth.

Now, let's

go on to

consider what

does the

Bible actually

say about

sexual assault?

Well, the

first thing we

notice is that

the Bible is

not silent

about sexual

assault.

It doesn't

pretend that

such things

don't happen

or don't

matter to

God's people.

The Old

Testament is

full of

stories, and

some of

these stories

include episodes

that would

fall into the

category of

sexual assault

broadly defined.

So here are

a few examples

with some

brief comments.

So first

example we

see of this

is Lamech

threatens his

wives.

He boasts

to them,

I've killed

a man for

wounding me,

a young man

for striking

me.

Now, he's

not explicitly

threatening to

sexually assault

them, but

what might his

threat, his

boast of his

vengeful deeds,

what might

that indicate

about Lamech's

ongoing

relationship

with his

wives?

Would they

ever want to

express any

disagreement with

him if he's

boasting about

killing a

young man for

striking him?

Well, another

example, voyeurism.

Voyeurism means

sort of looking

upon someone's

sexual intimacy

or nakedness

without their

consent or

without their

knowledge or

insisting that

they expose

themselves in

some inappropriate

way to others.

So, there's the

incident with

Ham who saw

the nakedness of

his father,

told his two

brothers, it's

not entirely

clear what was

going on there.

More clear would

be David looking

upon Bathsheba

from the roof

of his palace.

Another example

is in the book

of Esther, the

king of Persia

commands his

officials to,

the king of

Persia throws

this drunken

party and the

rule is it's

an open bar

and you don't

say no and

the king had a

party for all

the men in the

palace.

And so they're

all drunk, the

king's drunk, and

he commands his

officials, bring

the queen so that

she can show the

peoples and the

princes her

beauty for she

was lovely to

look at.

Now, it's not

clear exactly what

the king was

requesting Queen

Vashti to do,

but Queen Vashti

refused, surprisingly

in that context,

she refused to

show her beauty

to an audience

of drunken males

and the king

was furious.

Now, the

narrator implicitly

presents Vashti

as a woman of

courage.

Queen Esther,

later on, will

need to muster

the same kind of

courage to come

before the king

and the narrator

presents the

Persian king's

behavior as

dishonorable and

foolish.

Now, the

narrator doesn't

come out and

say that, but

if you look at

how the narrator

frames the story,

you can sort of

see it's painted

in a negative

light.

Another example

of sexual

assault, a

different kind,

would be

incapacitation,

that is,

deliberately getting

someone drunk

so that they're

not aware of

what they're

doing.

So, Lot's

daughters are

desperate, they're

living in the

middle of nowhere,

and they scheme

to get their

father drunk,

and then they

sleep with him

while he is

unaware in

order to

continue their

family line.

Another

example, Potiphar's

wife attempts to

compel her servant

Joseph to sleep

with her in

Genesis 39.

Joseph runs away,

and he is then

falsely accused.

Now, statistically

speaking, this is

not the most

common scenario,

but the Bible

knows that women

can also be

sexual aggressors,

and men are

sometimes falsely

accused.

And that's

an important

thing to remember.

Now, in

Joseph's case, he

was fired from

his job and

put in prison.

He was later

released, but

Potiphar's wife

was never

punished.

I think the

story of Joseph

may provide

comfort to those

who are falsely

accused or whose

abusers are never

brought to justice

in earthly courts.

last example, a

fear of sexual

assault.

We see this in

the book of

Ruth.

So, Naomi says

to Ruth, it's

good for you to

work in Boaz's

field, lest in

another field you

be assaulted.

And likely, Naomi's

concern is not only

that Ruth would be

beaten up, but that

she might be

sexually assaulted

because Boaz says

he has charged the

young men, that is

his field workers,

not to touch

Ruth.

He has seen

her and he has

specifically taken

measures to protect

her.

The word touch is

sort of a word that

indicates sexual

relations in the

book of Ruth.

A couple of

reflections on

Ruth, Boaz, or the

book of Ruth, Boaz is

a godly man.

He's someone who

watches out for the

well-being of women

in the midst of a

world where women

are often unprotected

and dishonored.

So, Boaz in many

ways is a godly

example of manhood

who's a good model

to follow after.

Ruth is also a

godly example of

womanhood.

She lives

courageously.

She goes out, she

works hard from early

morning, works from

early morning to late

at night in an

unfamiliar place

despite the dangers

in order to support

herself and her

mother-in-law.

She also lives

wisely.

She pursues marriage

to Boaz, a man who

will protect and

honor her, a man

whose character, moral

character and godliness

is evident and she

avoids getting involved

or entangled with men

of less honorable

character.

So, Boaz and Ruth

are both godly

examples of manhood

and womanhood to

emulate.

Now, those are some

examples of sort of

sexual assault or

even some could be

classified as sexual

harassment more broadly

categorized, but the

Old Testament also

includes four extended

narratives of

forcible rape, the

most flagrant and

violent form of

sexual assault.

Now, note again,

biblical narrators

rarely make explicit

statements about the

character's intentions

or about the

righteousness or

wickedness of their

actions.

In most cases, they

show us rather than

tell us what we need

to know.

So, I want to look at

each of these four

extended narratives and

make some reflections on

each.

First, Genesis chapter

Genesis 19 · chapter mention

19.

This is the story of

Sodom and Gomorrah.

Basically, the leaders

of Sodom threaten to

gang rape God's

messengers.

They surround Lot's

house, all the men of

Sodom, both young and

old, to the last man.

They surround Lot's

house.

They demand that he

send out the two

visitors who are God's

messengers that he had

received.

Now, they're prevented

from carrying out their

intentions.

They're struck blind.

But this is a sign of

Sodom's utter moral

corruption and injustice

which cries out for

God's active judgment

twice.

The text talks about

the outcry against

Sodom and Gomorrah is

great and their sin is

very grave.

What conclusions might

we draw?

Well, a nation that is

characterized like

Sodom by unrestrained

sexual violence

perpetrated by its

leaders is wicked and

dishonorable and crying

out for God's judgment

to call upon it.

It's not just one or

two of the leaders who

are then held to

account by others

and rightly held

accountable and

punished.

It is one that where

sexual violence has

become characteristic

and unrestrained.

Now, Lot is foolish to

bargain with such

wicked people.

Lot bargains with

them.

He offers to send out

his two virgin

daughters instead of

the men.

But this is foolish.

Lot is a believer but

he does not exert a

godly influence in

Sodom and instead he

is gradually drawn into

Sodom's corruption and

himself needs to be

rescued.

He needs to be literally

dragged out of the town

before it burns.

Lot would be wise to

flee.

And sometimes believers

need to ask themselves,

am I exerting a godly

influence or do I need to

walk away from

wickedness?

Third reflection.

In this episode,

rape is portrayed as an

expression of power and

dominance, not the

product of an excessive

or uncontrolled sexual

desire.

The men of Sodom

threaten to rape the male

visitors to dishonor and

humiliate them, not because

they are sexually attracted

to them.

Sexual assault of a male

victim damages this man's

sense of his masculinity in

particular ways.

The second story is similar

to Sodom.

It happens in Judges 19,

but in this case it happens

within the nation of

Israel.

And in some ways that's the

sort of part of the story

that's most hideous is that

God's own people have become

just as morally corrupt as

the people of Sodom.

So once again, an old man

takes in two visitors for

the night in the city of

Gibeah.

It's a Levite and his

servant, the men of the

city, surround the house,

demand to have the Levite

come out.

The host begs them not to

act so wickedly.

He offers them two women

instead and says violate

them, do with them what

seems good to you.

The Levite sends out his

concubine and the men knew

her and abused her all night

until the morning and in the

morning the woman is found

dead on the front doorstep of

the house.

It's a gruesome story.

It's probably the lowest,

one of the lowest points that

the people of Israel sink to in

the entire Old Testament.

The Levite cuts his concubine's

dead body into twelve pieces

and sends them throughout the

land of Israel.

The rest of the Israelites are

outraged.

They say such a thing has never

happened.

They all gather together.

They agree that the worthless

fellows of Gibeah must be

punished.

The tribe of Benjamin, to which

Gibeah belonged, refuses to hand

them over, so they attack the

tribe of Benjamin.

And a civil war results.

Reflections on this passage.

When members, or I think this

passage particularly speaks to

God's church because it's God's

people, Israel in the Old

Testament, who are called to be

distinct in the world and to bear

witness to God's character.

And instead it's become the

reverse.

So when members or leaders of

God's church sexually abuse or

violate others, the entire

community of God's people will be

judged.

Unless it courageously holds those

people to account, removes them

from their positions of leadership,

and excommunicates them from the

church if they remain unrepentant.

Next passage is Genesis 34.

In this passage, we're talking

about Jacob's daughter Dinah.

She goes out to visit the women of

the land and she, during her travels,

is raped by Shechem, the son of a

local prince.

Dinah's brothers are furious and they

respond by plotting.

And their plot is successful.

They kill every male in Shechem's

city.

Well, what do we see here?

In the face of sexual assault and

abuse, anger is justified.

The men, Dinah's brothers, were

indignant and very angry because

Shechem had done an outrageous thing

by lying with Jacob's daughter, for

such a thing must not be done.

Genesis 34.7.

Again, the author of Genesis makes a

very strong statement, being very

explicit that we wouldn't miss the

point that this was way off the map.

This was an outrageous and terrible

thing that he, as the text says,

seized her and lay with her and

humiliated her.

Dinah has brothers who stand up for her,

who are angry on her behalf and who

insist on seeing justice done.

She is not left alone to wear, to

bear the weight of being violated.

And the brother's solidarity with

Dinah is a good thing, though it is

sadly too rare.

Many female victims of sexual assault

only find support from other women.

But we also see in this story that

righteous anger can boil over into

ungodly rage.

Now, Jacob is initially unhappy that his

sons massacre all the males of the city

and his protest seems a little bit

cowardly.

You've brought trouble on me by making

me stink to the inhabitants of the land.

But he does have a point that they've

gone overboard.

Later, Jacob says of Simeon and Levi,

cursed be their anger, for it is fierce,

and their wrath, for it is cruel.

The other thing we see in this story is

we see a twisted combination of

humiliating sexual violence followed by

intense romantic attraction and tender

expression.

So after Shechem raped Dinah, it says,

then his soul was drawn to Dinah.

He loved her and spoke tenderly to her

and proposed to marry her.

And that combination of humiliation and

violence combined with intense romanticism

and tenderness can be deeply confusing

for victims of sexual assault when a

perpetrator expresses no repentance

or only superficial repentance for

violence or deception or manipulation,

but nevertheless continues to lavish

words of kindness and expressions of

care on the victim in an effort to

regain the victim's approval and trust.

The last episode is 2 Samuel 13.

King David's daughter Tamar is raped

and then cast away by her half-brother,

Amnon.

King David had several children by several

different wives.

David's oldest son was Amnon.

Amnon became infatuated with his beautiful

half-sister Tamar.

And we can see the twisted nature of Amnon's

attraction from the beginning.

Amnon's friend hatches the plot with him.

Amnon pretends to be ill.

He stays in bed.

He asks his father, King David,

send Tamar to my house so she can make

dinner for me.

Tamar does so.

Amnon sends everybody else away,

calls Tamar into his bedroom.

He makes his intentions clear.

Tamar protests.

No!

Don't do this!

But Amnon wouldn't listen.

And being stronger than she,

he violated her and lay with her.

Amnon then hates her and sends her away.

Once again, despite her protests.

Tamar then put ashes on her head and tore the

long robe that she wore.

And she laid her hand on her head and went away,

crying aloud as she went.

The last we hear of Tamar is that she lived as a

desolate woman in her brother Absalom's house.

Tamar did not receive the kind of immediate support from

her male relatives that Dinah did.

Her father, King David, was very angry, but said and

did nothing.

David always appears to be relatively passive and

disengaged and indulgent toward his sons.

Tamar's brother Absalom's initial reaction was to say to

Tamar, hold your peace, my sister.

He is your brother.

Don't take this to heart.

Absalom also says nothing to Amnon initially, but two years

later, Absalom had Amnon murdered.

And that sets off another cycle of revenge within David's

family.

Reflections on this story.

First, sexual assault has lasting emotional and relational

consequences.

These are powerfully depicted.

Tamar adopts the posture of a grieving woman with ashes on her

head.

She weeps uncontrollably as she walks down the road.

Amnon has used and discarded her like an object.

So she tears her long robe, representing her dignity torn apart.

She's now seen as damaged goods unfit for marriage to another man in her society.

And even more, in the aftermath of her assault, she receives no sympathy from her brother or

her father, only platitudes and silence.

She lives the rest of her life as a desolate woman.

Her cry is echoed by many victims of sexual assault and abuse.

Where could I go to get rid of my disgrace?

Second, reflection, sexual assault is not the victim's fault.

Now, of course, there are some situations where a victim has acted unwisely or sinfully,

and it is appropriate and important to acknowledge this.

But the point remains that the victim is not to be blamed for the perpetrator's sin.

Tamar is the only character in this story who displays consistent integrity and godliness.

All the other characters in the story manifest serious character flaws.

Amnon, Absalom, David, Amnon's friend Jonadab, they're all deeply flawed.

By contrast, Tamar is hospitable toward Amnon cooking a meal for him when he's apparently

sick and confined to bed.

She's courageous.

She declares God's truth to Amnon.

She resists him rather than merely yielding to his ungodly desires, even though he's physically

stronger and more intimidating than she.

And at the end, her lament at the end of the story is a righteous response to evil and

injustice.

In the Psalms and in the book of Revelation, the righteous sufferers cry out,

O Lord, how long?

Tamar is among their company.

Now, the unresolved story of Tamar, the righteous sufferer whose life ended in seeming destillation,

points us to a fifth biblical example of humiliation, abuse, and violence.

This last biblical example is not one that we normally associate with the offense of sexual

assault.

But the New Testament Gospels culminate in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, the righteous

one, which was undeniably an act of humiliation, abuse, and violence.

Consider some of what happened to Jesus on the way to the cross.

He was portrayed by a close friend with whom he had broke bread the night before.

He was abandoned by those who had promised to remain with him always.

He was stripped of his robe and violently beaten.

He was mocked and spit upon.

He was publicly humiliated and disgraced.

He was put on display before a hostile crowd, naked and exposed, except perhaps for a loincloth.

He was crucified outside the camp in the place of defilement.

His life ended in seeming desolation and disgrace.

And yet our great hope is that the story of Jesus, who is also the only entirely righteous

and godly character in all of scripture, does not end with crucifixion and disgrace.

Three days later, this same Jesus rose from the dead, conquering death and sin forever.

Jesus endured the cross, despising the shame for the joy set before him,

the joy of bringing us, many sons and daughters, with him,

bringing us from shame and despair to everlasting joy and glory.

So truly this Jesus is, for all victims of sexual assault who will turn to him,

a merciful and faithful high priest,

who is not unable to sympathize with our weaknesses,

but who in every respect has been tempted as we are and yet without sin.

There is even hope for perpetrators of sexual assault who will turn to Jesus,

for Jesus prayed from the cross even for those who were mocking him and who had crucified him.

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

From the cross he assured a criminal who was repentant,

who had been condemned to die for his crimes.

Today you will be with me in paradise.

Jesus Christ offers hope to sinners and to sufferers,

and in the end, we all belong to both groups.

In one way or another.

In light of what Christ has done, Hebrews invites us,

let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace,

that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need.

Sexual assault and abuse are deeply damaging,

but through Christ, significant redemption is possible.

Amen.

Amen.