"Forgive Us"

It's good to see you all here. I'm glad you have joined us this morning. This morning as we

turn to God's Word, we're going to continue our series in the Lord's Prayer.

And if you want to turn with me there, it's in the Pew Bibles in page 761. We've been looking at

this prayer in detail, and we're going to continue to do that. If you remember the first part of the

Lord's Prayer, our three requests regarding God, that His name would be holy, that His kingdom would

come, and that His will would be done. And then in the second half of the prayer, Pastor Nick preached

about last week, praying for daily provision, for daily bread, for daily help, daily grace

from our Heavenly Father in our various circumstances. And today we come to the second

part of the prayer that is more us-centered, centered on our needs. And the prayer is,

forgive us our debts. And so that's what we're going to be looking at this morning. So let me go

ahead and read. I'm going to read the whole prayer and the two verses after because they're very relevant

for this morning's text. So I'll start in verse 9 of chapter 6. We'll read it. I'll pray for God's help,

and then we'll look at it together. Matthew 6, verse 9. Pray then like this, our Father in heaven,

Matthew 6:9

hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses,

your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses,

neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Please pray with me.

Oh, Lord, we come to your Word this morning, and this is both a glorious and an incredibly terrifying text.

Lord, to look at forgiveness, Lord, is not easy. And so, Lord, I ask for your help this morning.

Lord, I pray that you would be with me as I speak, that I would speak as I ought to.

And Lord, that you would be with each heart, each soul in this room, that we would be ready to receive

the truth of your Word. Lord, that our hearts would be willing to submit and recognize, Lord, the power of your Word.

Lord, that our minds would be able to understand your Word, that our wills would be moved to do

as you have asked us to. Lord, we thank you that as we ask for these things, we know that

your Holy Spirit is at work among us, and I pray that you would continue that work.

In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

Jesus tells us in this request to pray,

Father, forgive our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And so, we're going to explore this prayer by asking three questions of it.

The first one is, what is forgiveness that we're asking for? What is it that we're actually asking for

when we ask this question, or when we pray this prayer?

The second question is, why? Why do we need this forgiveness?

And thirdly, it is, how do we understand our need to forgive others as well as to be forgiven?

What's the relationship between those ideas?

So, that's what we're going to look at this morning.

If you're a note taker, there's your outline.

And so, I always look at Amanda, because I know Amanda's a really, I don't even know if she takes notes,

but she's really organized.

So, I figured she might be.

Anyway, so those are your three points if you're looking for it.

So, the first question we're going to ask is,

what is this forgiveness that we are asking for?

And I just want to go back to the very basic idea of what is forgiveness?

It is when something is owed to another, and that thing that is owed is canceled.

That's a very simple definition of forgiveness.

So, for example, one of the easy ways to picture this is in a financial situation.

A bank loans me $10,000, right?

I owe them $10,000, right?

I incur a debt when I borrow that money, and until I pay it back, I owe them this thing, right?

But if that bank comes to me and says, we have chosen to forgive your debt, what does it mean?

It means the account is closed.

It means the debt is no longer needing to be repaid because they have erased it

or taken away the need for repayment.

And they will no longer pursue me for that money.

So, that's what fundamentally forgiveness is in a conceptual way.

So, what does Jesus mean here when he says, forgive us our debt?

Now, we might look at that word and think, does that mean that we owe God money?

No, that's not what it means.

This word debt is used regularly in the Bible to refer not to financial things,

although it does refer to that, but it also refers regularly to spiritual things.

We know this particularly because in parallel passages,

the Bible uses different words in the same thing.

So, in verse 14, if you look down just two verses later,

Jesus is clearly talking about the same topic, and he uses the word trespass.

Trespass is to transgress or to cross over a boundary, to break a law.

And this is what, this is the picture then of this spiritual debt that is incurred.

If I break the law, then I owe the law keepers something.

I owe society something.

In the parallel passage of this prayer in Luke, it says,

forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.

It's fascinating to see it there where you see both the word indebted,

then paralleled by the word sin, right?

And sin fundamentally means missing the mark,

but biblically it means not meeting God's righteous standards,

not being the people that God created us to be.

And we may think about sin as doing wrong things, right?

We cross a line.

We miss the mark.

We get a stain on our moral life because of something we do.

But in fact, the Bible has a much grander picture

of the problem of the debt that we owe to God.

Because in the storyline of the Bible,

we were created to know and have a relationship with our Creator.

And in that relationship, we are meant to love Him,

to obey Him as a Creator King,

to cherish and adore Him,

to recognize Him as a loving Heavenly Father

in all of those roles that we should then respond to Him

with worship, with obedience,

with joy, with love, and all these things.

So sin isn't merely slipping up,

but it's a much greater relational offense

because what the Bible then says is,

we have rejected that relationship with God.

We have said, no, thank you, God.

We want to go our own way.

This is exactly what Adam and Eve did in the garden.

God, thank you for all of these things,

but I'd rather do it my way.

I'd rather be co-equal with you

rather than being under you in relationship.

I would rather be independent

rather than dependent on you.

John Piper describes sin in this way.

Bear with me because it's a beautiful

but fairly long quote.

He says that sin is any word or deed

where the glory of God is not honored,

the greatness of God is not admired,

the wisdom of God is not esteemed,

the beauty of God is not treasured,

the goodness of God is not savored,

the promises of God are not believed,

the commandments of God are not obeyed,

the justice of God is not respected,

the wrath of God is not feared,

the grace of God is not cherished,

the presence of God is not prized,

and the person of God is not loved.

Who of us have not sinned?

If this is what sin is,

and it is,

it is what the Bible tells us.

And so the forgiveness that we are asking for

is of this great debt

that we owe to our Creator

of what we have done

in ways that are in rebellion against Him

and what we have not done

in ways that would be to glory

and honor and love and serve Him.

And that is true for all of us.

And so Jesus is assuming this

as He says,

forgive us our debts,

forgive us our trespasses,

forgive us our sins.

This is why we need to pray

for God's forgiveness.

But some of you might be thinking,

why?

Why does God need to forgive this?

Can't He just be like the bank

and say,

nah, it's okay.

No problem.

I'll just overlook it.

I'll just erase it.

No cost to you.

Can't He just do that for us?

Well,

we might think so.

And we might want that.

And of course,

humanly,

this is how we always think about it.

Because we think,

well,

God understands.

He knows what I meant.

He,

you know,

it wasn't that bad.

All of the excuses

that we come up with our own mind

to minimize our sin.

And then we think,

why can't God just overlook that?

But then we look out at the world

and we look at a sex trafficker

or a rapist

or a serial killer

or,

you know,

there are certain things

that we all in our society know

are heinous crimes.

They are terrible abuses

of other people.

Typically,

those are the ones

that capture our heart,

not tax evasion.

But it's all sin,

right?

But these are the ones

where we all have this sense,

that's wrong.

And it's not just

that's wrong,

but I want those people

to be punished.

I want them to have to pay

for their crime.

And do you know why

we have that instinct?

We have that instinct

because God put it in us.

Because the God of the universe

is a God of justice

and mercy.

And in His goodness,

He cannot let sin

stand in the world

and not be dealt with.

Justice demands a response

and there must be

some kind of response.

And so,

we have this problem

because we want God

to just erase

our little foibles,

but then other people

sin,

well,

we really want justice

for that.

And it can't be that.

God is either

the God of justice

everywhere

or He's not a God

of justice at all.

Right?

Imagine a state trooper

who pulls you over

and he says,

well,

did you see the sign?

The sign says 55.

And you said,

yeah,

but nobody's obeying it.

Why'd you pull me over?

And he's like,

oh,

you're right.

I'll just pass.

I'll just forget it.

Right?

And then he keeps doing this

over and over again.

Well,

you know what?

That means that there's no,

that sign no longer

has any value

and there is no more

functional speed limit

on that road.

And when we're asking God

to simply absolve sin

without justice,

we're asking Him to say,

actually,

there is no righteousness

and there is no way

to call good,

good and evil,

evil.

And friends,

that is a terrible world

and it is not the world

that the Bible shows us.

Instead,

we have a God

who is committed,

committed to justice.

justice.

So much so

that the rejection

of God,

who is the author of life,

results in,

according to Romans 6, 23,

death.

It says,

the wages of sin

is death.

What we earn,

right?

What we end up owing

is our very life.

God says that

when we sin,

we then put ourselves

under a condemnation

of death

and we are,

we are caught in that,

right?

Why is it so severe?

Well,

because God is so great.

If we sin against

our local public library

by not returning

the latest Tom Clancy novel,

right?

That's bad,

right?

But what will they do?

They'll fine us

$15 to replace the book

or $30

because of the restocking fee.

And that's what it'll be.

Because the public library

isn't a great thing,

right?

It's a small thing.

I mean,

it is a great thing.

Public libraries are wonderful.

They're important in the world.

But compare that

with like treason

against your country,

all right?

This is a great offense

against a much greater entity

and that offense is greater.

So imagine then

what the weight

of an offense is

against the creator

and sustainer

of the world itself.

This is why death

is the wages

of our sin

because it is

an infinite offense

against an infinite God.

So we need forgiveness.

All of us

need forgiveness

because we can't pay that back

except through death.

And our only hope

is that God

might in His mercy

forgive.

And of course,

this, friends,

is the very heart

of Christianity.

This is the very heart

of the gospel

because He has done this.

He has both satisfied

justice

and shown mercy.

And how has He done this?

He has sent

His Son, Jesus,

the sinless one,

the one who never

incurred any debt

against God

because He was without sin,

who came and lived

His life among us

and offered Himself up

on the cross

for the forgiveness

of our sins,

dying the death

that is the repayment

to satisfy God's justice

so that we

might receive

the benefit

of forgiveness.

Many of you know

the imagery.

It's like being

in a courtroom

and you've been found guilty

and you must pay

a fine that you can't pay.

And the judge

bangs his gavel

and says,

condemned,

you must pay this now.

But then He steps

out of the judgment seat,

comes down,

and He says,

and I will pay this

myself for you

so that you can go free.

This is what God did

by sending Jesus.

And so,

Paul can write

to Christians

in Colossae

in Colossians 2, 13,

and you who were dead

in your trespasses

and the uncircumcision

of your flesh,

God made alive

together with Him,

having forgiven us

all our trespasses

by canceling

the record of debt

that stood against us

with its legal demands.

This He set aside,

nailing it to the cross.

Friends,

this is

at the very heart

of what Christianity is,

that our God

has worked

to achieve

both justice

and mercy for us

so that we might

be forgiven

of our sin

because of Jesus.

What good news

this is,

friends,

this morning,

if you are here

and you don't know

the forgiveness

that comes

through faith

in Jesus Christ,

I implore you,

turn to Him,

repent of your sin,

confess that it's wrong,

confess that you can't

do anything

to save yourself

and trust in Jesus

what He has done

for you

and know

His forgiveness.

Now,

some of you

are sitting here

thinking,

okay,

but I've been a Christian

for a long time.

I've heard this story

before.

So,

why does Jesus

ask me

to keep praying

this prayer?

Haven't I already

been forgiven?

haven't I already

know that that's true?

And yes,

that's true

in a sense

that's very important.

But,

the short answer

to that question

is,

you have to keep

praying this prayer

because it is

right to do.

Because we need it.

We do need

to keep asking

for forgiveness.

That Christians

are to pray this

on a regular basis.

Why do I say this?

Well,

I'm going to turn

briefly to the gospel

or to the letter

of 1 John.

If you want to go

with where you can,

1 John chapter 1

1 John 1:1

verses 1,

5 through 9.

I want to read

this passage

to explain to you

why Christians

also need to continue

to pray this prayer.

John writes this,

starting in verse 5.

This is the message

we have heard from Him

and proclaimed to you,

that God is light

and in Him

is no darkness

at all.

If we say

we have fellowship

with Him

while we walk

in darkness,

we lie

and do not practice

the truth.

But if we walk

in the light

as He is in the light,

we have fellowship

with one another

and the blood

of Jesus His Son

cleanses us

from all sin.

If we say

we have no sin,

we deceive ourselves

and the truth

is not in us.

If we confess

our sins,

He is faithful

and just

to forgive us

our sins

and to cleanse us

from all unrighteousness.

Now friends,

this letter

was not written

to the whole world.

This letter

was written

to a church.

This letter

was written

to people

that the Apostle John

assumes

are followers

of Jesus

and understand

the fundamental

forgiveness

that God

has worked

in Christ.

But what He says

is we need

to continue

to pray

because this side

of eternity

we will continue

to sin

even as Christians.

We never excuse it.

We never encourage it.

We never coddle it.

But friends,

we will continue

to sin

this side of glory

when we will be

transformed

and become

without sin

once more.

many people

think that Christianity

is about being

good people

and that being

a good Christian

is being better

and better

and better

at not sinning.

And that leads

Christians to think

well I need to hide

my sin

because I can't show

that I've sinned

or else people think

I'm a bad Christian.

But what John says

is we all sin.

If we say

we have not sinned

we lie

and the truth

is not in us.

But we say

we have fellowship

with a holy God

who is without sin

and this is

an untenable situation.

So what's the solution?

Verse 9

is the solution.

If we confess

our sins

He is faithful

and just

to forgive us

our sins

and cleanse us

of all unrighteousness.

So for the Christian life

this is meant

to be not

merely an entrance

into

but an ongoing practice

of what Christians

should be like.

I've sinned

against you.

I'm sorry.

Will you forgive me?

I've sinned.

I repent of that sin.

I know it's wrong.

Will you forgive me?

And we say this

to God

every day

because we never meet

that perfect standard

that John

Piper

laid out for us

earlier

of doing everything

for the glory of God.

and we do it

with one another

because we regularly

sin

against one another.

We are selfish.

We are proud.

We are cruel.

And we are meant

to be people

who know

that in our sin

we have a Savior

who has

done all

that is necessary

for us

to be forgiven.

So we come back

again

and again

and again

to this practice.

And friends

that should make

a Christian community

who are not proud

and self-righteous

and condemning

of others

who don't do well

but instead

a community

of people

who are humble

and thankful

and gracious

and joyful

and kind.

God

because when we know

that we are sinners

saved by grace

when we know

that we regularly

practice

this prayer

forgive us

our sins

Lord

as we confess

and repent

of them

this makes

our hearts

the kind

of hearts

where the soil

of the grace

of God

can flourish

and grow.

So friends

this is why

we need to pray

this prayer

because if we

have not known

yet the initial

forgiveness

of Christ

we need it

desperately

and if we have

known that

initial forgiveness

of Christ

we need it

desperately

we need it

on an ongoing

basis

until glory

so we need

to be praying

this prayer

for all of us.

This then

raises

as we looked

at this then

we need to ask

the third question

because Jesus

didn't simply say

forgive us our debts

and then move on.

He said

forgive us our debts

as we forgive

our debtors.

How do we

understand

the relationship

between our need

for forgiving

others

and our

being forgiven

by God?

When you're

reading this

in the English

language

verse 12

verse 14

and 15

make it even

more explicit

there is a

very clear

relationship

between these

two things.

Basically

he's saying

you cannot

be forgiven

if you don't

forgive others.

That's what

he's saying.

But what's

the relationship

here?

Okay we're

going to get

into a little

grammar word

nerdery here

because we've

got to get

into this

to get it

right because

when we

read this

we typically

think this

is causal.

This is an

if then

statement.

If I

forgive others

then God

will forgive

me.

Right?

Because that's

often how we

read if then

statements.

Right?

But this is

not actually

in Greek.

There are like

four conditions

of Greek

if then

statements.

And you

can talk

to some

of our

Greek scholars

about all

of those.

But this

one in

particular

is not

I believe

a causal.

But instead

it is a

conditional

statement.

Here's a

quote from

a grammar.

Right?

The if

in verse

14 is used

in conditional

sentences to

designate what

is expected

to occur

under certain

circumstances

from a given

standpoint in

the present.

That is you

would read it

if as it is

to be expected

you forgive

one another

then God

will forgive

you.

Here's an

example to

try to

clarify this.

If I went

to my father

and I said

if I am

your son

I will

inherit

your I

will get

your inheritance.

Right?

There is an

assumption

because he

knows that I'm

his son and

I know that

I'm his son.

So it's not

that there's

this question

of whether

I am or

not and it's

not that my

sonship is

causing this

inheritance to

be triggered.

It is a

part of a

whole conditional

these things

go together

and cannot

be separated

out.

Does that

make sense

a little bit?

How it's a

little different

from if a

stranger walked

in to the

reading of my

father's will

and said

well if I'm

a son

then I get

the inheritance

right?

Be like

well no

you gotta

prove that

you're the

son.

There's

a lot

I don't

assume that

this person

walking in

from the

street is

a son

at all.

Right?

So there's

an assumption

that these

things go

together.

I might

say they're

more correlation

than causation.

They must

both be

true.

Because here's

the sting in

forgiveness.

One who

cannot forgive

others

cannot truly

know the

forgiveness of

God.

And one who

forgives can

only do so

because they

know truly

the forgiveness

of God.

Jesus tells us

a parable in

Matthew 18

and if you

want to turn

there we're

going to look

at this for

just a minute

just to flesh

this out a little

more.

Alright?

Matthew 18

starting in

verse 25.

It's the

parable called

the parable

of the

unforgiving

servant and

I'm going to

summarize a

bunch of it

and then read

a couple of

verses because

it's a bit

long.

A king

wanted to

settle the

accounts with

his servant

and he found

one servant

who owed

him 10,000

talents.

Now there's

a lot of

discussion about

how much

10,000

talents is but

the sum is

it's more

money than

anyone would

reasonably have

in a lifetime.

It is way

too much for

it to ever

be reasonably

paid back.

And this

servant fell

on his knees

before the

king and

begged,

please,

please be

patient with

me.

Don't cast

me into

prison because

I owe this

debt.

And verse

27 says,

out of pity

for him,

the master

of that servant

released him

and forgave

him the

debt.

So this

servant then

walks out

and he

finds his

buddy,

another

servant,

who owed

him money.

He still

owed him a

significant amount

of money,

100 denarii,

which is like

100 days wages.

You do the

math on what

that would be

like today.

It's a lot,

right?

So he owed

him a lot

of money and

he said,

you have to

pay me now.

You have to

pay me now or

I'm going to

put you in

jail.

And the

guy said,

please be

patient with

me.

The guy

said,

no way,

you're going

to jail.

And the

king found

out about

it.

Verse 32

is the

summary of

this parable

Jesus is

telling.

Then his

master summoned

him and said

to him,

you wicked

servant,

I forgave

you all

that debt

because you

pleaded with

me.

And should

not you have

had mercy

on your

fellow servant

as I had

mercy on

you.

And in

anger his

mercy delivered

him to

the jailers

until he

should pay

all his

debt.

So also

my heavenly

father will

do to

every one

of you

if you

do not

forgive

your brother

from your

heart.

A couple

of observations

about this

parable.

First,

forgiveness

comes

initially

from

the

God

figure

in

this,

the

king,

right?

The debt

was

unpayable

and owed

and God

forgave.

And so we

need to

recognize that

there is a

sense where

the first

forgiveness

is God

initiating this

towards us.

It is in

response to

God's forgiveness

that we can be

forgiving people.

But it is also

then a test.

If we

understand that

truly as we

relate to

other people,

how do we

view them?

Have we

allowed ourselves

to become

bitter,

hardened,

vengeful,

those who

hold on

to slights,

offenses,

or deep,

deep harm,

clinging to it

and holding it

against people?

Christians can

never say,

I will never

forgive that.

One of the

commentators,

can't remember

which one,

this is off the

top of my head,

said that the

reason why we

can forgive

incalculable sin

against us is

because we have

been forgiven

an incalculable

debt before God.

This is the

power of

forgiveness

in the life

of a Christian.

This parable

gives us a clue.

When we see

our sin

rightly,

when we see

how great

an offense

it is,

when we're

not playing

the game

of comparing

ourselves

and thinking,

well,

their sin

was worse

than my sin

and I don't

have to

forgive it

because it

was worse,

but when we

see our sin

as an

incalculable

debt before

God,

then when

others sin

against us,

we can still

say,

I forgive

you because

we have been

forgiven a

sin,

forgiven our

sin so

greatly.

It is through

the lens of

our own

forgiveness that

we are able

to be a

forgiving people.

Now,

there's a lot

of detail

for us to

work through

in what

interpersonal

forgiveness

looks like in

the human

realm,

right?

And I'm

going to

give a few

thoughts and

then I'm

going to

point to

this.

Tim Keller

wrote a book

on forgiveness.

It's awesome

and it will

be for the

first person

who comes up

and asks me

after the

service.

You can

have it,

take it

home and

read it,

but you

have to

promise to

read it and

then give

it to

someone else.

But what

happens when

we have to

forgive?

There are a

few things I

just want to

say to

clarify what

forgiveness of

sin is.

First is that

we have to

recognize that

sin is what

must be

forgiven.

If I make

a mistake,

if I have,

if I am

late because

95 was

closed down

and the

traffic was

stopped and

I was late

to, I have

not sinned

against those

that I came

late to

because truly

circumstances

outside of

my control,

there are

things that

are not

sin in

the world.

We wrestle

sometimes with

the word

sorry.

Sometimes when

you say I'm

sorry, it

means I

empathize with

the pain that

you're feeling.

Sometimes when

we say I'm

sorry, I'm

sorry because I

recognize this

has caused

inconvenience to

you.

These are

appropriate uses.

There are

other times

when we

say I'm

sorry, will

you forgive

me?

In fact, in

my relationship

with my wife,

we've learned we

have to be a

little more

specific to

say will you

forgive me

when we are

confessing I

have sinned

against you.

I have been

selfish.

I have been

uncaring.

I have been

cruel.

I have been

whatever it is

that we have

been.

So we need

to recognize

that it's not

just misunderstanding

or human

fallibility.

It's not

just…

And here's

the thing.

We can sin

and not mean

it too.

It is possible

for us to sin

against other

people unintentionally

because one of

the things we tend

to do is say,

but I didn't mean

it that way.

And that should

be taken into

account.

That's a part of

the interaction.

Oh, well, if you

didn't mean it

that…

But it still

can be sin if

I'm living an

incredibly selfish

life and that

has all sorts of

consequences for

you like you're

abandoned.

I forgot you at…

You know, I forgot

to pick up my

kid at school

again because I'm…

I was working

out of the gym

and I was just

on a roll, you

know, and I…

Did I mean to?

No.

But did I sin

against them?

Well, if I did it

once, maybe it is

an honest mistake.

But if I do it

as a pattern,

then I have a

sinful heart that's

neglecting a

relationship and I

have a sinful

transgression where

I'm not keeping

my word.

And I need to

think through how

do I do that?

Right?

So forgiveness

needs to clarify

what the sin is.

Right?

Second thing is that

forgiving a sin

begins by pointing

out that it's

wrong.

Right?

What you did to

me was wrong.

Only when we

recognize that are

we able to then

say, but I

release you.

I forgive you of

that wrong.

wrong.

And I let go.

Tim Keller has

a great section

in his book about

what forgiving of

sin is not.

And I'm just

going to read

through a bunch

of this list.

It is not

excusing other

people saying,

well, you know,

it's okay because

I understand there

are lots of

reasons.

That's not

forgiveness.

That's just

recognizing there's

a legitimate

excuse.

And that's okay.

forgiveness is

not denying or

whitewashing.

That is, oh,

yeah, it didn't

really hurt or it

didn't really cut.

It's no problem.

No big deal.

We like to say,

but that's not

forgiveness.

That's just

whitewashing it.

Forgiveness is

not merely

refraining from

revenge while

holding on to

bitter resentment

or suspending

judgment saying,

this time I'll

forgive, but next

time you're done.

You're done.

forgiveness is

truly releasing

from the debt

that is owed.

Forgiveness is

not proud

condescension,

forgiving others

as if we also

don't need

forgiveness.

Forgiveness is

not also

abandoning

justice

by seeking

revenge

or simply

avoiding

confrontation.

We might have

different ways

in which we

seek to

forgive in a

way where

we want to

inflict on

other people

something terrible.

And finally,

forgiveness

doesn't mean

that we

restore

immediate

trust

or prevent

reasonable

consequences.

So this is

tricky.

This is where

we realize

forgiveness is a

heart attitude.

Right?

I might

forgive my

son

of

being late

coming home

from curfew.

This is a

hypothetical.

This has not

happened.

But if he came

home from a

curfew, right,

I might forgive

my son

because he said,

Dad, I just

disobeyed you

and I recognize

that and I'm

sorry.

Will you

forgive me?

Son, I forgive

you that.

You're still

grounded for a

week because you

need to learn.

Right?

Now, if I do

that vengefully,

if I do that

with bitterness

in my heart,

if I do that

with my heart

hardened towards

my son,

then I'm not

really forgiving

him.

But he may

still bear the

consequences.

Right?

Someone you

might forgive,

you know,

there's this

amazing story

and you all

know it,

Rachel Denhollander

and the story

of the sexual

abuse in the

gymnastics community.

If you want

to go see,

she has some

really good

stuff written

on this.

But she

writes about

saying to

the abuser,

I forgive

you,

but you

need God's

forgiveness

and you

need the

consequences.

You need to

bear the

consequences of

your sin.

These are

right and

true and we

need to

recognize that

happens on a

global scale.

It happens

interpersonally.

where forgiveness

doesn't mean

now I'm going

to completely

trust you in

everything at

all times.

That trust may

need to be

rebuilt over

time.

Final thought

just on the

nature of

forgiveness

interpersonally

is that we

need to

recognize that

it is both

a decision

and a

process.

And it's

not.

There are

times when

when we

are needing

to process

through with

the Lord

the hurt

that we

feel,

the offense

that we

feel,

those sorts

of things.

But it is

good and

right to

decide I

am going to

forgive this

person and

to allow our

heart to

catch up with

our decision.

it is good

to decide I

will do

this and

then I will

continue to

act as if

that were

true and I

will continue

to think about

that person as

if I have

forgiven them

while my

heart emotions

which we know

don't always

follow as

quickly to our

will as we

want them to

work through

with the Lord

and with

others the

feelings of

hurt, the

feelings of

desire for

revenge that

we often

have.

And so we

need to

recognize that

it may be a

process but I

think the

Bible is telling

us we can't

withhold it

while I get

to the point

where I'm

feeling good

about this.

Sometimes we

need to say I

don't feel good

about this but

because of

Christ I say

to you I

forgive you and

I ask for your

prayers to help

me really mean

that.

So that's

just a

beginning because

I know because

I've walked with

some of you

through hard

things and the

process of

forgiveness is

long and

difficult and

weighing out

some of these

things about how

do you restore

a relationship

or how do you

deal with the

issues of trust

how do you work

through these

things is tricky

and so I just

want to acknowledge

all of those

things but then

to come back to

the weight of

what Jesus said

he says we

are to ask

God for

forgiveness as

we forgive those

who have sinned

against us and

this means we

recognize that

forgiveness is

always costly.

The bank when

it cancels the

debt it eats

ten thousand

dollars it

doesn't get back

the ten thousand

dollars that it

loaned me if it

forgives my debt

it just says I've

lost ten thousand

dollars that's the

cost.

If someone sins

against us we

bear the pain of

the offense and

we give up the

satisfaction of

seeing punishment

happening of

revenge we give up

those things.

when we forgive

others it is

costly to let

go of an

expectation of

repayment.

The cost for you

to forgive ones

who have sinned

against you may be

great.

I don't know all

of your stories.

Some of you may be

thinking this morning

this is too much.

He's asking me for

more than he knows

and I just want to

acknowledge that.

I know that some of

you have been very

very deeply sinned

against and you

bear scars and

hurts.

And my prayer for

you is that as

you recognize that

that it will drive

you back to the

gospel that we

begin with.

Because what

great cost did

God bear for

your forgiveness?

He sent his very

own son who did

nothing but obey

and love and

bring glory to

him in all that

he did.

Who came

proclaiming his

kingdom,

exhibiting it by

all that he did

in all of his

interactions,

seeking to help

humanity come

to know the

greatness of God

again.

But at the end

of the day he

knew.

He came to die

for us.

He came to free

us from the debt

that we owe to

God by dying in

our place,

paying the penalty

of death for us

so that we

might not die

because of our

sin but so

that we might

live.

The second

person of the

Trinity, the

one who was

there in

creation, the

one who will

sit on the

throne forever

and ever in

the new heavens

and the earth,

he was a

lamb slain

from the

foundations of

the earth

for us,

for our

forgiveness.

forgiveness.

Oh, friends,

what great

mercy that

has God

shown us.

What great

cost has

he paid

for us

and for our

forgiveness?

forgiveness.

Kim read

earlier,

Psalm 32,

David, a

man who

knew the

joy of

his sins

being forgiven.

Blessed is

the one whose

transgressions is