with faithful contentment

We're at 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and to put it bluntly it's about sex and the right use of sex where it fits in terms of God's purposes and in relationships.

1 Corinthians 7 · chapter mention

And the passage tonight talks about it in a much more positive way than where we were last week when we were talking about pornea or immorality in 1 Corinthians chapter 6.

1 Corinthians 6 · chapter mention

So the tone is entirely different.

I figure when you're talking about sex you don't really need an opening illustration.

You can just start.

But I did, I opened up the paper the other day or read online.

I think it was News Limited, that fantastic source of news.

And there was a story about some bloke who's been living in Bali for the last three months and to put it really crudely he's managed to sleep his way through 100 different women and his goal is to achieve three women in the one night.

And in terms of an example of pornea or immorality, it's a fantastic example of pure selfishness.

And I think what I want to say tonight is that the journey from pornea, immorality, to right relationship before the Lord Jesus Christ and the beauty of what he calls us to is a journey from selfishness, utter selfishness, to selflessness.

And in the end it is rooted in the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ.

So right through this series Steve's picked up the idea that the way of the cross transforms our world view and that's exactly what we're going to see tonight when we talk about sex.

We're talking about the cross of the cross of the cross of the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ transforming the way that we do relationships.

And it's a movement from selfishness to selflessness.

Steve said some things last week in his message which I thought were just pure inspirational.

He spoke about marriage with a very high view in terms of one flesh relationship and what it stands for and what it means.

And I think I'm quoting him.

I took notes while he was saying this but it might sound a mouthful but listen carefully.

It's a one flesh.

Marriage is a one flesh relationship.

A one flesh relationship is embodied in personhood, in people.

And it's a place where personal transformation is going on.

People are changed.

And the bar is raised very high for a sexual relationship in marriage.

It deeply involves the full person.

There is a self-giving and a self-disclosure.

It's not driven by self-gratification.

And he said that sex is a radical self-donation.

It means being vulnerable with your entire life to the other person and not independent of them.

And so they become, you grow into this life of oneness, deep personal relationship and sharing.

You don't lose yourself.

You are radically supplemented by the other person and changed and transformed as you seek to serve Christ together.

And my words, I want to say that there is deep safety and security in a relationship like that.

It is deeply fulfilling.

It's entirely consistent with other scriptures.

So when you go to Ephesians 5 where a husband and wife submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,

they take up different roles within a marriage relationship, wives to husbands as to the Lord,

husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

You get a picture of the same selfless giving going on and submission to Christ even as we submit to one another.

And so there's its extraordinarily beautiful picture where marriage is driven by the sacrificial love of Christ for us all.

Now I want you to notice the sheet.

You should have noticed already.

You've been given that sheet tonight.

On one side is the text of the scripture.

On the other side is notes.

And I'm doing this in three bits sort of.

The first bit I'm just talking for a bit.

The second bit I'm going to take us into the notes and scan across the whole chapter.

And the third bit I'm going to stop and we're going to have questions.

Because I think by you being able to ask questions tonight,

it's a way of applying what we're talking about here in the scripture

and maybe raising issues that are particular issues that you see for yourselves or in people around about you.

The Corinthian church started four years before this letter when Paul came preaching to them.

There wasn't a church there before he came along and started preaching.

And as he preached the cross of Christ,

it began to transform a body of people who had heard the gospel for the very first time.

It's an immature church.

Last week Steve said he,

Paul rebuked them really severely for not being as mature as they ought to have been,

even at four years old.

And he's angry with them.

He was angry with them because they were putting up with the type of immorality

that anybody outside the church could look in.

Anybody who's not even a Christian and say,

you're kidding, they do those sorts of things?

So their problem was not so much the immorality,

but the lack of church discipline.

They weren't able to say to one another,

this should not be.

And then in chapter 6,

these are people who have been converted

out of a very licentious culture.

You know, anything goes.

Lots of sexual options and lots of permissiveness.

Young men would have been encouraged to pursue sexual gratification from adolescence

when their bodies start to work sexually from puberty

until their mid to late 20s,

so maybe nearly 15 years before they actually get married.

And homosexual induction by older men with younger men

was common in the Roman Empire.

Temple prostitutes were the norm.

You could go to the temple and you could have sex

and you could call it worship.

I grew up in an extended family culture

which said it was okay for men to sow their wild oats,

you know, have sex wherever they like.

And then we also had this double standard

that sex and bodies were dirty

and somehow you ought to stay pure.

Very confusing.

And in chapter 6,

Paul effectively says,

we don't have to keep apologising

for the life that we have been brought from

because of the work of Christ

in transforming us.

We don't have to continue to bear shame

because of who we were

and what we did.

He tells us that we have been made clean

by the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ.

So in verse 11, chapter 6,

we were like that,

but we have been washed.

It says you were washed,

you were sanctified,

you were justified

in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ

and by the Spirit of God.

Corinth's a place which is shaped by Greek culture.

Steve talked about that last week,

hedonistic culture

where anything and everything goes.

Their slogan was,

everything's permissible for me.

Cross of the Lord Jesus Christ,

I'm set free.

And Paul's response,

but not everything is beneficial.

And as with any culture,

new believers carried the culture

that they were in,

into the church

where the gospel would now do

its ongoing work of change

and transformation.

In other words,

when you come to Christ,

you're not necessarily transformed

out of everything

that was the former life.

And there's a journey

which goes on

as you wrestle with

what it means to have come to Christ

and the change

that he now brings about

in your life.

And so it's not unreasonable

to think that Corinth

was a church with people

in all sorts of relationships.

Maybe widows

who hadn't married again

but were sleeping with widowers

or people who'd taken a fancy

to them.

Or unmarried people.

So when it says virgins here,

we're not necessarily talking

people who haven't had sex.

We're talking about

unmarried people.

And perhaps unmarried people.

Virgins sleeping with

boyfriends,

girlfriends.

Or married people

engaging in sexual relationships

outside of marriage.

That's the way

the world of Corinth was

before the gospel came.

And it's not that different

from our world.

The guys were liberated back then.

The girls weren't.

In our culture,

the girls have been set free

in some measure.

It's not real freedom,

but the age of contraception

and having control

over your own bodies

and stuff like that

means that young women

are able to behave

almost like young men.

The world calls it freedom.

The Bible portrays it

as a slavery.

And he said last week

that sex matters.

It's much more than just

another bodily function.

It's not just food in

and food out.

In the end,

in 1 Corinthians 6,

he makes it very clear

that he says,

Do you not know

that he who unites himself

with a prostitute

is one with her in body?

For it is said

the two will become

one flesh.

But he who unites himself

with the Lord

is one with him in spirit.

Flee from sexual immorality.

All other sins

a man commits

are outside his body.

But he who sins

sexually sins

against his own body.

Do you not know

that your body

is a temple

of the Holy Spirit

who is in you

whom you have received

from God?

You are not your own.

You were bought

at a price.

Therefore,

honour God

with your body.

He says sex matters

and wrong use of it

causes great harm.

If sex was just

another bodily function,

then why not relieve

that need

by going down

for a night of worship

at one of the local

Corinthian temples

with the prostitutes,

your wife's got a headache

and she will be glad

not to be put

under pressure.

But he says here

to sin sexually

is to sin against

your own person,

to damage your sense

of self.

Plenty of that

in the media this week

and every other week

for the last yonks.

one tragic story

after another

of teenagers

being violated

by media personalities

or trusted religious figures.

The children

didn't sin.

They didn't ask for it.

And there is

one story

after another

about the impact

on their person

by these crimes.

Alcoholism,

eating disorders,

fear,

blame,

promiscuity,

many young people

have been greatly harmed

and they have carried

that harm

into older life

and relationships.

And one

headiness defender

sits there in court

the other day

and says it takes

two to tango

and after all

I only thought

I gave them

a good time

and they are enjoying

what we are participating in.

terrible,

terrible distortion

of something

which is

a very,

very good gift

of God

when used

according to

the maker's instructions.

The cross of Christ

radically transforms

our relationships.

I joked this morning

I said

I went to King's Cross

on Friday

to do some research

for this sermon

and I did.

I did.

I went to visit

my friend Ed Vaughan

who's the minister

at St John's Darlinghurst

which is right there

at the cross

and I had heard

a story through the week

of a marriage,

a wedding

that he took

last Saturday

and I heard it

from a very dear friend

from a long way back

and I know Ed really well

and I went to him

to say look

I was told

what a fantastic service

you took

but it's an amazing story

of the grace of God

the couple

that were married

last Saturday

the woman

was in

the Bible study

I went to

25, 30 years ago

I don't even remember

and she went

to Bible college

and at Bible college

went to SMBC

and studied there

for a while

Sydney Missionary

Bible College

was in a

relationship

with someone

I don't mean

an inappropriate

relationship

but in a relationship

with someone

that looked like

they might marry

and then something

happened

the wheel fell off

and it just

didn't go anywhere

and almost

on the rebound

she took up

with another fellow

that everybody

who knew her

just thought

this is a disaster

and she was married

and within two years

she was divorced

20, 25 years

has gone by

she's working

in Christian ministry

in the eastern suburbs

and she is diagnosed

with terminal cancer

that has come

quite rapidly

upon her

now what's

actually happened

in the couple

of months

or period of time

just before this

is she's somehow

been back in

communication

with the man

that she might

have married

25 years before

who's gone

to the other

side of Australia

and in the course

of communication

she then communicates

with him

and says

I'm dying

and this is

what's happened

and his immediate

response was

to leave

his work

and to say

to her

I've always

loved you

I still

loved you

and I am

coming back

to care for you

until you die

and they were

married in front

of 200 people

last Saturday

who were just

joyous and tearful

at the same time

and I don't know

about you

but the story

for me

just engaged

my heart

because it was

pure selflessness

not selfish

I'm going into

this for what

I can get out

of it

but it was

such an expression

of the servant

heart of God

that we see

in Christ

in this man's

response to this

woman

and it's even

more beautiful

than that

for lots of

reasons

but she's

obese

the cancer

treatment

has destroyed

her body

and she

bought a

wedding dress

and she

grew out

of the

wedding dress

and needed

another one

before the

wedding

so in

terms of

the beauty

of the

world

she's

probably

nothing

to look

at

but in

terms of

the inner

beauty

which is

radiated

in Christ

this was

something

which was

very very

very special

that happened

and continues

to go on

so when

you get

to

Corinthians

move beyond

immorality

and you

move into

what do

you do

with sex

where does

it fit

in terms

of God's

kingdom

and God's

plan

and God's

purposes

and Paul

brings them

back to the

way of the

cross

and as he

goes into

chapter 7

there's a

very distinct

turn that

goes on here

in the text

this is the

first time

this happens

in Corinthians

but he says

now for the

matters that

you wrote

about

he turns

his attention

for what

he wants

to say

and he's

now responding

to some

stuff that

they've asked

him about

and he quotes

them

it's not that

obvious in the

English

but he's actually

quoting them

so when it

says here

it's good

for a man

not to

marry

he's not

saying it's

good for a

man not

to marry

he's quoting

them

they've gone

back and said

to him

so is it

better for a

man not

to marry

in light of

the immorality

that's here

in this

world

and that's

a really hard

thing to

understand

and even

when you read

the commentaries

on this

they go

different ways

one of the

ways that the

commentators go

is they say

like it's an

aesthetic response

it's sort of

like I'm going

to try and live

the pure holy

lifestyle now

rather than get

my hands dirty

with immorality

and sex and all

that sort of

stuff

no

but you do

see that

I had a

friend

he's not a

friend really

someone I

knew

who's very

high up in

the Hare

Krishna movement

and when he

was about 25

we grew up

parallel to

one another

knew one

another

at the end

of high

school he

became a

Hare Krishna

and he's

risen in

the movement

I remember

he got

married

I think

he's now

on about

his third

marriage

but he

got married

and he

said

we believe

that sex

is purely

for procreation

so we only

come together

and have sex

and make love

in our marriage

when we're

trying to have

a child

we don't do

it for

enjoyment

Roman

Catholic

priests

at their

ordination

are asked

this question

in the

presence of

God and

his church

are you

resolved

as a sign

of your

interior

dedication

to Christ

to remain

celibate

for the

sake of

the kingdom

and in

lifelong

service

to God

and mankind

two of

my friends

resolved

not to

have sex

on the

night of

their

marriage

because

they

wanted

to spend

the night

in prayer

to God

I never

really thought

it was my

place to

ask how

they got

on

but their

desire

was to

lay aside

their

desires

and give

themselves

to the

Lord

on that

night

and I

don't want

to criticise

them for

doing that

but I

think I

want to

say and

I think

Paul says

here

you're not

more holy

by taking

a disposition

like that

and in fact

in the

opening words

he actually

says yeah

husband and

wife might

decide not

to have

sex for a

little bit

just so they

can pray

but make

sure it's

not too

long

and no

I'm not

prescribing

it I'm not

teaching it

as something

that you

should do

so that's

the ascetic

type response

and he's

not endorsing

it

but there is

another way

you can read

this if you

understand the

immorality that

they've come

from and if

you understand

the people

asking these

questions have

been in all

sorts of

messy places

in terms of

sex

they might

just be

saying so we

shouldn't be

sleeping with

girls

we shouldn't

be doing

the barley

thing

and he

will come

in now

and teach

about that

and now I

want to turn

I think to

that sheet

which I've

called my

mud map

and if you

need to know

what a mud

map is

don't even

bother I'll

explain it

later

but the

green line

is sort of

verses 1

to 40

of 1

corinthians

7

and you're

going to

see this

isn't going

to take

very long

I'm not

going to

take ages

to go

through 40

verses

but above

the line

this whole

section

breaks into

three

the first

16 verses

are addressed

to people

who are

either married

or who have

formally been

married

so a married

person is

someone who's

happily married

somebody who's

unhappily married

and a

formally married

person is

somebody who

is widowed

or perhaps

divorced or

whatever it

is

they're not

specifically

mentioned

the middle

sections about

circumcision and

slavery and

that at first

glance you think

what's that doing

in the middle of

this stuff on

sex and the

third part

really it's to

some of the

people at

Sunday night

churches to

people who

are not yet

married haven't

been married

and so you've

got my green

fences there you've

got you know

people who are

in a marriage

relationship and

sex is part of

it or not part

of it and then

you've got people

who haven't been

married yet and

sex is part of

it or not part

of it and

sometimes when

you're in one of

those places you

look over the

fence and think

oh it looks

better over there

I'd like to be

getting some of

what they're

getting I'd be

really interested

to try that out

and see how that

works and I

don't want to

I think that's a

very normal type

of response for

all of us to be

interested in these

things and how it

works and how it

goes on so if

you come back

again to the

first section

sex and the

married and the

formerly married

you've got four

sections in there

you've got he talks

to married couples

and then he talks

to widows and

then he talks to

unhappily married

people that's people

who might be

considering divorce

and then he speaks

to people who are

married to someone

who's not a

Christian so somebody

who's married to

not a believer and

he's got things to

say to each of them

so let me just read

a little bit and

that because I want

to get to the end

verse 2

since there is so

much immorality

each man should

have his own

wife and each

woman her own

husband the

husband should

fulfill his

marital duty to

his wife and

likewise the wife

to her husband

the wife's body

does not belong to

her alone but also

to her husband

and in the same

way the husband's

body does not

belong to him

alone but also

to his wife

don't deprive

each other except

by mutual consent

and for a time so

that you may devote

yourselves to prayer

and then come

together again so

that Satan will not

tempt you because of

your lack of self

control

and on it goes

let me tell you

that most men read

that passage and

go wacko the

wife's body belongs

to me

and I'm not sure it

works in reverse

quite the same

and let me tell

you that there

are some

evangelical

Christian

publications

written by

friends of ours

who have written

if you can't

control yourself

sexually solve

the problem by

getting married

and let me tell

you that that is

a really crass

and wrong

understanding of

what is written

here because

it's not just

people who aren't

married who

haven't got a

sexual relationship

people can be

married and in a

sexual relationship

and still not

satisfied so what

do you do go and

get more sex from

outside the marriage

of course he's not

saying that here

but can you see that

if you take that

sort of turn if you

if you grab hold of

this passage and say

see what the little

woman should be giving

me and she's not

you have turned from

a selfless stance to

a selfish stance

because the question

now becomes about

me and what I get

out of this

relationship and what

is due to me

selflessness to

selfishness

it's hard for young

blokes I can speak

as a man I can't

speak as a woman I'm

glad I can't speak as

a woman but I will

speak as a man

and guys are

initiators when it

comes to sex often

and there's something

about how we're

wired that that's how

we are guys are

interested in the

female form guys are

drawn to particular

forms of pornography

that women aren't

necessarily drawn to in

the same way but some

of that stuff's

changing and guys can

be very big in terms

of thinking about sex

and as a young man not

married it's really easy

to think like I can I

want to get married

because I want to be

able to enjoy that

sort of stuff and I

think I'm just saying

if that's where we're

working from in terms

of mindset we're

working from a selfish

place where it is all

about us and what we're

going to get and

without regard to the

other person coming as

the selfless man looking

to serve this woman who

I'm going to take as my

life partner who will say

yes to me as I say yes

to her to serve before

the Lord Jesus from this

day forward and forever

more as long as God

gives us breath on this

planet.

So sex can distort our

thinking in really

unhelpful ways.

It becomes the goal

rather than the

relationship and the

person and we live in

that distorted

environment and I have

experienced some of the

distortion of that

environment and it ends

up having to be worked

out in your marriage.

It's not a great thing to

bring to your marriage.

But I think he upholds

sex as a wonderful thing

given by God but he

takes it out of the

Corinthian world environment

where you can get it

anywhere and he brings it

inside a marriage live

before the cross of the

Lord Jesus Christ and at

the same time as he does

that with sex and marriage

he also affirms singleness

as a really great thing.

So I know when you come

into youth group and

young adult ministry

sometimes the big

questions are will I

marry?

Will I have a life

partner?

And some of the

attitudes that lie in

the background and

aren't helpful attitudes

are attitudes like I'm

not complete unless I am

married, unless I am in

relationship.

And right through this

passage the apostle

affirms the goodness of

singleness in its own

right as opposed to

marriage.

It's a counter-cultural

value.

Steve told me the other

day that with regard to

widows in the Roman

Empire if a woman was

widowed she was only

allowed to remain a

widow for two years or

she was fined if she

hadn't remarried.

So to affirm singleness

is actually to affirm a

counter-cultural value and

say this is a state before

God which is complete and

whole and valid and from

which the Lord Jesus

Christ can be fruitfully

served.

I think he's really

careful not to put

singleness over marriage or

marriage over singleness and

yet at the same time when you

get down to the very end he

will say that there are a lot

of advantages to singleness

in terms of serving Christ.

Might get to that in a

minute.

I'd like to get to that in a

minute.

So when you look at the

sheet, the mud map, the

lines below are the

separation between different

places in life that we

might find ourselves.

Verses 10 to 11 is probably

a really important one.

In most of those there's a

place for being content.

The one that's different are

maybe people who are

considering divorce.

So he's speaking, not

saying everything that there

is to be said about divorce

but he's speaking to people in

church who could be

considering divorce and he's

saying divorce is not the

way out of marriage.

If you're going to separate

for a time if things are

really tough and sometimes

in a marriage they are

really tough but don't

separate thinking I can just

change horses and go to

someone else.

Separate with the intention

of reconciliation or remain

single.

But it's speaking to the

devious mind, the person

who's manipulating here to

try and get out of marriage

because it's just not

working and he's saying no

and he has the Lord's

authority in that.

There's some wonderfully

reassuring stuff.

There's people here who are

married to unbelievers.

I'm going to say to you

tonight if you're a believer

don't marry an unbeliever.

But if you have married an

unbeliever and it's by your

own choice then be reassured

here by what's said.

Or if you've become a

Christian along the way

after maybe starting marriage

with both of you not

knowing the Lord and then

one of you comes to the

Lord the question that gets

asked is should I get out of

this relationship because

it's not really holy before

the Lord.

And the answer from the

passage is so clear.

Stay in it if your partner

is willing to live with you

because you have a

sanctifying influence and

impact on your spouse and

on your children.

You have an influence.

You bring the gospel good to

bear in this marriage in

which you live and before

God it is a valid marriage

and a place where you

ought to remain and find

contentment.

And that's the theme that

runs right through here.

So if you look at the

sheet the mud map it's sort

of a violet colour but right

through in every circumstance

here there is the notion

of contentment like being

content where you are.

And I think that makes sense

of the middle bit because he

goes off and talks about

circumcision and slavery and

says if you've been

circumcised you don't need

to be uncircumcised.

And any guy thinking about

that goes well that's good

because that only sounds

painful and I don't even

know how you do it.

And if you're a slave there's

a sense of contentment.

If you've got an opportunity

to come out of slavery we'll

take the opportunity but

otherwise be content.

And that feeds into the

next bit from verse 25 on

where it says if you're bound

to a wife don't seem to be

loosed.

Don't seek to be loosed.

And if you're not married

don't seek to be bound.

In other words be content in

the stage of life that you're

in.

And I think when you look at

that part when you're in

verses 25 to 40 you get a

picture there that maybe

helps us in young adult and

youth ministry because as I

said before you know how

sometimes you think this is

all about pairing up and

there's all sorts of

acronyms out there for

hatching and matching and

dispatching and it's obvious

at this stage of life when

people do marry they do come

together they do get

interested in one another

there's something really

nice about all that there's

nothing wrong with all of

that.

But sometimes people come to

that driven like really

needy I've got to be

married.

If I haven't got a

relationship I'm not

complete.

And I think what he's

urging here is a

contentment in where we

are and actually you make

yourself a more presentable

marriage prospect by being

secure and content in

serving the Lord in the

state of life that you're

in.

And sometimes people who

come across as really

needy are people who come

across as maybe carrying

problems and difficulties

and setting themselves up

for going into a

relationship which is a

really bad relationship for

them.

But throughout this section

see I haven't gone into the

detail of the passage I'm not

reading that again but he's

really affirming that if you

do get married it's not a

sin.

If you do enter into a

relationship a marriage

relationship and sex is part

of that it's a normal part

of that it's not a sin it's

not to be despised it's not

unholy it is not less.

But if you are a young

person or an older person and

you're not married and you are

content in that place

firstly saying be content with

who you are and where you are

be content in your singleness and

he will add to it even more

because he will say

he will say that there are

distinct advantages in the

single life.

Married people have troubles.

Anybody who's married here my

wife confirmed this very readily

for me this morning but married

people have to sort things out

between themselves.

It's not always pure bliss.

One high bedroom high to

another is life you know in the

terms of the world it's just not

quite like that.

But when it's working there is a

deep place of security and comfort

and things that God does give.

And marriage itself is like the

world itself it's coming to an end.

Everything's winding down and I

often say that when I marry

somebody sometimes people get

upset with me for this but the

only way a good marriage will end

is sadly.

It's going to come to an end with

the death of one of the spouses.

And marriage is not eternal it

doesn't go into eternity so when

people say I can't wait to be

reunited in heaven well there is a

sense of being reunited in heaven

with the body of believers and

face to face with the Lord.

But Jesus himself says you don't

understand the scriptures to the

Sadducees in heaven there won't be

marriage or being given in

marriage.

Because they've come to Jesus and

asked a really tricky question.

Jesus there's this woman she's been

married to seven different men

whose wife is she going to be in

heaven.

Well life is pretty complicated and

there are people like that and that

question stands.

Well Jesus says in heaven there's no

marriage or being.

So marriage itself is going to

finish.

It's a temporary relationship.

And it's going to end sadly and

there's going to be problems and

heartache and perhaps that problem

and heartache won't just be in your

own relationship it will be with your

children and the challenges of life

that come to you through those

things.

So he's saying there are reasons for

the single life you're not distracted

by the things of married life and you

are freer to serve the Lord in those

ways.

But he's very careful I think not to

exalt singleness over marriage or

marriage over singleness but he will

validate both.

So I think the aha even since I preached

this this morning the aha for me is

the journey from chapter 6 of 1

Corinthians to chapter 7 is this

journey from porneia immorality

selfishness to a journey of in

relationship now of selflessness that you

see in chapter 7.

And it's like this whole body of

people that have been converted out of

the world they carry all the world

with them they've come from all sorts

of stuff that if you had to put it up

on the projector and show us in church

tonight for any of us we'd be

embarrassed by.

But made clean justified sanctified

washed new beginning and in this new

beginning it's a journey from selfishness

to selflessness which is the way of the

cross of the Lord Jesus Christ

the selflessness of Christ

transforming our world view on the

place of sex and making us content with

who we are and where we are in life right at

this moment.