Family

Good morning all. As Jimmy said, Nick said, we're in Proverbs at the moment, a series on wisdom.

Last week, Jimmy preached on the evil of envy, and he talked about, at the start of it, his engagement two weeks earlier.

I wondered how long it would take to get it into a sermon, and two weeks must be some sort of new record, I would think.

He's obviously pretty excited about it.

And so today we're going to talk about marriage.

And your laughter at that point tells me that it is, as the Bible says, a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.

This is a great mystery. It is a great mystery.

Nat and I have been married for nearly 18 years, and she had no idea what she was getting into at the time.

And over the course of those 18 years, she's been married to three different men, all of them me.

It is, in fact, a great mystery.

Proverbs is about living wisely in the world, and this area of family relationships is an area where the vast majority of us need wisdom.

It's an area where wrong choices and habitually bad behaviours can be devastating.

And so this message is taking a very general look at some pretty basic principles of family life and relationships according to Proverbs.

Even though at every point of what I'm saying isn't relevant for everyone right now.

I'm going to be straying across a whole different areas, but something will be.

And collectively, we will represent a whole range of family statuses.

Some married, for instance, here and some are not.

Some have children, some don't have children.

Some with grandchildren, some with children who are still at home but should have left some time ago.

Some who won't get to experience that for many years to come.

Some with parents who are alive, some who are parents who are not alive, and the list goes on and on and on.

There is something ultimately for everyone.

So try not to tune out the point that it's not your status right now.

The theme of wisdom runs right through all the relationships are pretty much universal.

That's pretty helpful because there isn't just differences now in a particular relationship status,

but there's also quite differences in terms of our heritage and our backgrounds and our cultures and the way we view family.

Like in family, in Western societies is primarily driven by individualistic thinking.

In Eastern societies, traditional society, it's very much more corporate orientated in their views of family.

So there's a collective wisdom here which cuts across for everything.

So let's kick off with a relationship between a husband and a wife.

In the Bible, there are three human institutions that are set apart from all others.

The family, the church, and the state.

There's nothing in the Bible about how schools should be run, for instance.

Although they are crucial to a flourishing society, there's nothing about corporations and museums and hospitals.

In fact, there are all sorts of great institutions and human enterprises that the Bible doesn't address directly or regulate.

That means that we are therefore free to invent them in line with the general principles of human life that the Bible gives us.

But marriage is different.

It is very different.

As it says in the preface of our church's wedding service, marriage is instituted by God.

It is a gift from God for human well-being.

And so what that means is, contrary to some popular opinions at the moment,

marriage didn't evolve in the Bronze Age or the ages past as a way to determine property rights.

At the climax of the creation account at the beginning of the Bible,

we see God bringing a man and a woman together and he unites them in marriage.

The Bible begins with the wedding of Adam and Eve and at the end with the wedding of Christ and his church in the book of Revelation.

Marriage is God's idea.

And it's the way that he describes his relationship with his people.

Now, it is certainly also a human institution and it reflects the character of the particular human culture in which it is embedded.

But the concept and the roots of human marriage are in God's own action.

And therefore, what the Bible says about God's design for marriage is crucial.

What that means is that what God institutes, he regulates.

If God invented marriage, then those who enter in it should make every effort to understand and submit to his purpose for it.

In the same way that we don't ignore the manufacturer's instructions in how to use and maintain a car that we've just bought.

If you've just bought a Corolla, you don't treat it like it's a 400 horsepower John Deere tractor.

It will break.

Now, many in society, I acknowledge it's a hot topic right now, would disagree with some of my basic starting point here.

But it's my starting point.

It's the starting point of historical Christianity.

And so I don't expect that everyone, potentially not even everyone here today, to have the same starting point that I have.

But I do hope that you're able to see how penetrating and how practical the Bible is on this issue of marriage.

Proverbs tells us, first of all, that marriage is a covenantal relationship.

For instance, chapter 2, verses 16 and 17, we read,

A marriage is a covenant, which means it's a binding agreement.

Now, I can't tell you the number of the times I've had people say to me, because I've got a license to marry people,

the number of times I've had people say to me, or I've read something like this,

why do I need a piece of paper to tell someone that I love them?

And the answer, of course, is, well, you don't.

Of course you don't do that.

Tell them you love them.

That's fine.

But a wedding service and a marriage certificate is not a declaration of promise of present love.

That's not what it is.

It's a promise of future commitment and love.

You can go to virtually any marriage service, whether it's in the churches or not,

and they will say either nothing or very little about the way you feel right now.

They're all about behaviour.

The vows are promises to be tender, to be considerate, to be faithful, to be loving in the future

through all the ups and downs and ins and outs of life and relationship.

Marriage is a covenant, not just a declaration of my present love,

but a promise, a commitment to future love and commitment.

Now, marriage is also, therefore, based on a ministry mindset.

You might have noticed it already.

I suspect you did notice.

As Proverbs 5 was read out, chapter 5, verse 18 to 20,

May your fountain be blessed and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth,

a loving doe, a graceful deer.

May her breast satisfy you always.

Will you ever be intoxicated with her love?

Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man's wife?

Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?

Now, what that's, at the very least, Proverbs 5 is saying,

is that your spouse should be your lover.

Your marriage should, therefore, include sexual intimacy.

That's part of the marriage relationship.

It also says, in chapter 2, verse 17,

that the woman, the adulterous woman, left the partner of her youth.

Now, the word partner there means your most intimate and best friend.

That's what the word partner means.

Now, what Proverbs suggests is that your relationship with your spouse

should be characterised by both torrid romance and sexual intimacy

and intimate friendship.

Both of those things.

Now, this is incredible for the time that this was written.

You see, in traditional societies, when this was written,

the purpose of marriage was to gain security and status for your family.

Both husband and wife were trying to marry well as possible

in terms of family status.

Marriage was also about producing children,

which was about producing family status and lineage,

carrying on the family name.

And if you manage to get married and have love and romance and friendship,

then, well, lucky you.

Good on you.

The idea of marrying for love came quite later in history.

And in Proverbs, it says that you marry for love.

This is revolutionary in ancient culture.

In a culture where women had very low status,

it says that your spouse here is to be your best friend.

That breaks all the categories of the ancient world.

It's historically revolutionary and notable.

But let's think about this practically.

The combination of torrid romance and intimate friendship

creates a unique relational dynamic.

Friends, think about this,

friends are normally side by side,

absorbed in a common interest.

And lovers are normally face to face,

absorbed in each other.

Like Jimmy and Kate.

At the moment.

It's interesting what Proverbs is saying here.

C.S. Lewis, he wrote a chapter on friendship in his book,

The Four Loves.

And he suggests that friendship is about a common passion and interest.

And he wrote this,

friendship arises when two or more discover

that they have in common some insight or interest.

That is why those pathetic people who,

this is C.S. Lewis,

that is why those pathetic people who simply want friends

can never make any.

The very condition of having friends

is that we should want something else besides the friends.

Where the truthful answer to the question is,

do you see the same truth,

would be, I don't care about the truth,

I only want you,

you to be my friend.

No friendship can arise.

Though affection, of course, may.

Friendship must be about something,

even if it were only an enthusiasm for dominoes or white mice.

Those who have nothing can share nothing.

Those who are going nowhere can have no fellow travellers.

Now that last statement is really interesting.

The essence of friendship is having a vision for something

that we both want to get to.

That's the essence of friendship.

Fellow travellers heading somewhere.

On the other hand,

lovers are absorbed in each other.

What happens when you mix that together?

Lovers being the best of friends?

Ministry is what happens.

The biblical picture of marriage is a journey towards your partner's,

your spouse's future greatness.

In fact, it's a journey towards your spouse's future glory.

You see, traditional society,

you get married for status.

In modern Western society,

you get married for fulfilment.

And when you don't get fulfilled,

you go somewhere else to get fulfilled.

And they're both naive.

Both naive.

Let me remind you of the heart of the Christian message.

All of us are made in the image of God.

This is the biblical picture.

All of us are made in the image of God.

We are made to be something great,

but we're all broken because of sin.

We are all shadows of what we were made to be.

God, knowing that we're all broken,

comes into our world in the person of the Lord Jesus,

lays himself out through the sacrifice of himself on the cross,

comes into our lives,

unites us to himself through the Holy Spirit.

He applies what he has done,

and he shapes us for our future greatness.

Eternity in his presence,

whole may complete.

The great marriage in heaven.

And that gospel message,

that Christian message,

shapes your view of marriage now.

Marriage is gospel reenactment.

It's the Christian message reenacted.

Our course,

of course,

there are things like personal chemistry,

but even for the Christian faith,

it makes things go,

the gospel makes it deeper than that.

You see,

even things like attraction are much deeper.

As a Christian,

you're attracted not just to what the other person is,

but what they are going to be.

A Christian looks at another and thinks,

I see flashes of your future,

and they excite me.

You see,

what they are becoming,

and what God is making them into,

you see that,

you want to be part of that.

Marriage becomes gospel reenactment,

because you enter into the life of the other,

and you commit yourself to sacrifice,

to serve,

to help,

to minister,

so that they get to that destination.

Marriage.

With their spouse,

the Lord Jesus.

That's the picture of the end of Revelation.

You want to be part of that journey,

part of their journey to that glory,

the great marriage in heaven.

You are friends committed to each other's future glory.

That's the biblical picture of marriage.

It's a ministry mindset.

The consumer mindset of marriage,

which is the picture of dominant in our society at the moment,

where you marry for fulfillment,

the consumer mindset is the opposite of the biblical picture.

And the consumer mindset says,

I will be the spouse that I should be,

to the same measure that you are the spouse that you should be.

I will promise to do this for you,

providing you promise to do that for me.

And so if you're not being the spouse that you should be,

then I don't have to be the spouse that I should be.

And that isn't the mindset of the gospel-empowered person.

The gospel-motivated, empowered spouse says,

I will be the spouse that I am meant to be,

even when you are not the spouse that you are meant to be.

The power to be like that to another is Jesus,

because he has treated you like that.

He loves us not because we are lovely,

because he has made us lovely.

Isn't that what Ephesians 5 says?

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church

and gave himself up for her to make her holy,

cleansing her by the washing with water through the word

and to present her to himself as a radiant church

without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish,

but holy and blameless.

Now, hear me correctly here.

I'm not suggesting that marriage is one way

and that you're to be a doormat to a spouse.

I think the most unloving thing you can do to an abuser

is to allow them to abuse.

I think the most unloving thing you can do for a selfish person

is to allow them to be selfish.

Iron sharpens iron,

and so there is a need to confront your spouse

about such behaviours

and to take further steps if need be.

But you're going to need to be patient.

I mean real patient.

Marriage is ministry.

It is about service, not fulfilment.

And when you seek the other person's good,

even when you don't like them,

the deeper your love will be.

The less you love them

when you don't like them,

the less your love will be.

Now, none of what I've said is easy to do.

And the only way to get help here

is to look at this in the context of the gospel.

How can you stay on a journey

with a difficult spouse?

And the only answer, I think,

is chapter 2,

Isaiah 2 · chapter mention

verse Proverbs 2, 16, 17,

wisdom will save you also

from the adulterous woman,

from the wayward woman

with the seductive words,

who has left the partner of her youth

and ignored the covenant

that she made before God.

What we need to see is

that we are the adulterous woman.

That's what we need to see.

We need to keep in mind

that Jesus Christ made a covenant

with the Father

to come to this earth

to make us his partners,

to make us his spouse.

And when he got here,

we crucified him.

We crucified him.

Jesus jumps into the very worst relationship,

a relationship that ultimately sent him to hell.

Some of you might think

you're in a relationship

that he's taken to hell,

but Jesus,

he got sent to hell,

a relationship with us.

That's what it cost him.

We need to see him dying on the cross for us,

but we also need to see him

staying in a terrible relationship with us.

We need to see him giving us

the ultimate faithfulness and love

despite of our lack of faithfulness and love.

Seeing and experiencing that

is your only hope.

And so I would say that

if your spouse

is the centre of your life,

you are going to be a lousy spouse.

If you're looking for them

to give you what only Jesus can give you,

you're going to be a lousy spouse.

You're going to treat them bad.

If they are the most important thing to you,

then you're going to be a lousy spouse.

If your spouse isn't giving you

what you think you should need,

and in fact only what Jesus can give you,

then you'd be so freaked out

because they are the source

of all your worth

and all your meaning

and all your happiness

and fulfilment and satisfaction.

Unless Jesus demotes your spouse

out of the centre of your life,

you're going to be a lousy spouse.

That's what we keep as a church.

And this is for everything.

We just keep saying,

we need to treasure Jesus,

treasure Jesus.

We're saying it again this morning.

Jesus has to demote everything.

Has to be the centre.

Jesus' love has to so move us

and give us the worth and security

and hope that we crave

so that when our spouse

is not what they should be

or what we would want them to be,

we can in fact continue to handle life.

Only when he is our ultimate

are we set free to love

and serve and minister to our spouse.

So before moving on to parents and kids,

just a quick word for those who are wondering

how we handle the journey of life

when we are not married

but we want to be.

There are a lot of people, frankly,

who want to be married but aren't.

They go to weddings

and frankly they can't stand it.

What I've just said a moment ago,

it just applies for you as well.

If it is true that you're going to be

a lousy spouse unless Jesus

is the ultimate source of love

and significance for you,

that is true for you

for when you're single too.

Marriage isn't the goal.

Let me just say,

marriage is not the goal.

It's not like you get married

and you've arrived.

Jesus is the goal.

Jesus has to be the ultimate source

of love and significance in your life.

Unless you are content as a single person,

let me say,

you'll never be content as a married person.

Unless you are content as a single person

because you already have

the ultimate spouse in your life,

the one who will get you

to your future glory

even if no one else signs up

to help you on that journey,

you already have Jesus.

every other spouse

is going to pale in significance.

When you're content with being single,

you will be a decent spouse.

And when you're not content

with being single

and see the marriage

as the goal of all things,

of satisfaction,

of fulfilment,

all that sort of stuff,

then you're going to start

making all kinds of wrong choices

about the sort of partner

you'll have.

Okay.

More things to say about marriage

but we've got to move on.

Family relationships,

parents to children.

There's a huge amount

that can be said here.

Even from Proverbs,

a whole lot more can be said

than what I'm going to say.

Given the time,

let's just focus on the main thing.

This is the main thing

that Proverbs says

about this relationship.

And if you are more bent

towards the conservative edge

like most traditional societies,

you are going to,

you're more likely to suggest

that the main thing about parenting

is about control.

If, on the other hand,

you're more liberal

like most modern Western societies,

then you're going to suggest

the main thing about parenting

is to make sure

that you grow your kids up to,

with love and affection

and affirmation.

What Proverbs says

is the main things about parenting

is to make your child wise.

So Proverbs 23, 22.

Listen to your father

who gave you life

and do not despise your mother

when she is old.

Buy the truth

and do not sell it

wisdom and instruction

inside as well.

The father of a righteous child

has great joy.

A man who fathers a wise son

rejoices in him.

May your father and mother rejoice.

May she who gave you birth

be joyful.

So the main job of a parent

is to teach your children

what is good,

what is bad,

what is right,

what is wrong,

what is wise,

what is unwise.

That's the main thing

about parenting.

And the number of us,

let's be frank here,

a number of us

have jettisoned

some,

potentially even much,

of what our parents

have taught us

about what's right and wrong.

However,

what makes you

able to come up

with an alternative

understanding

of what is right and wrong

is the fact

that your parents

taught you

anything in the first place.

If you have parents

who have been firm,

have a coherent understanding

of what's right and wrong

that they themselves

live by

and you know

that they delighted in you

no matter what,

you've been raised.

Now even if

you go a totally

different direction

in life,

you've still been raised.

Your parents

are not guilty

of parental

malpractice.

Now it's a different

matter

if

parents lived

inconsistently,

they didn't

delight in you,

they didn't train,

they didn't discipline,

they didn't teach,

they didn't navigate,

they didn't guide.

Proverbs would call that

parenting

malpractice.

And so some of you

who are now parents

whose kids have grown up

and are going in

different directions,

making different choices,

you need to probably

start feeling

less guilty

for that

if you have

at least

set a course

for your kids

but they've chosen

a different direction.

Stop beating yourself up

about it.

Some of you,

however,

have set no course

or direction

for your kids

and gone off

in whatever direction

you might need to feel

a little bit responsible

for that one.

Proverbs 22.15

makes,

gives us

the key ingredient

to making your child wise.

Folly is bound up

in the heart of a child

but the rod of discipline

will drive it far away.

Now,

what that's saying

is that children

are by nature

unwise.

Their life

will be a disaster

unless you intervene

and you give them wisdom.

Now,

the intervention here

in Proverbs 22

is called

the rod

of discipline.

Now,

the word discipline

here means

literally to coach.

It's a combination

of discipline

instruction.

Now,

the word rod

means to take

authority.

It doesn't

always mean

corporal punishment.

You see,

one of the great dangers

of reading

the book of Proverbs

and just picking out

your favourite proverb,

like you're about

to belt your kid

and you're saying,

well,

you know,

discipline my child,

you know,

the rod,

this is not a rod,

kid,

so be grateful.

You need to understand

the nuances

every time a word

pops up

and certainly here

every time a word

like,

for instance,

rod,

we think it

automatically means

to smack,

corporal punishment.

That's what you all

thought,

wasn't it?

Automatically,

corporal punishment,

boom.

Now,

it's included

at times

but not all times.

There's a famous

proverb that says,

start children off

on the way

they should go

and even when

they're old

they will not

turn from it.

That's 22.6.

Now,

many commentators

suggest the nature

of training there

is to fit

the nature

of the child.

I've got three

daughters,

they're all

very different.

Some children

sideways glance

and boom,

they're on the floor

and they're a mess.

They're all over

the place.

Well,

that's all that one's

needed.

Another one

can stare you

down.

You know,

any sort of threat

at all

and they're just

adamant.

There's no way

there's going to be

any tears here.

I'm just going to

show you who's

in charge.

That's just my

family.

I've got no idea.

If you think

the corporal

punishment

is the

universal

answer,

you've totally

missed the point

of Proverbs

and the

biblical

understanding

of child

rearing.

Your child

needs to know

that you

delight in

them no matter

what.

Your child

needs to have

a coherent

understanding

of right and

wrong and I

would argue

that's a biblical

understanding of

right and wrong

and your child

needs to see

you consistently

living that

out.

Quick

word.

Dads,

take responsibility

here to lead

your family,

to lead your

kids.

And secondly,

kids' church

doesn't do that

for you.

It's your

job.

It's your

job.

You want to

instill spiritual

wisdom in your

kids, you've

got to do it

at home.

We only just

partner with

you for a

little fraction

of your

child's life

here at

Kids'

Church.

Okay.

That's the

main way that

parents relate

to children.

Now, what

about children

relating to

parents?

In Proverbs

and in the

rest of the

Bible, there

is one key

word that

comes up

again and

again to

describe the

main thing

about this

relationship and

it's the

word honour.

honour.

The opposite

of honouring

is to

despise.

Now, you

probably know

this is

true.

It's in the

Ten Commandments.

Honour your

father and

mother.

Notice it

doesn't say

love your

father and

mother.

It doesn't

say obey

your father

and mother.

It doesn't

say admire

your father

and mother.

It doesn't

say trust

your father

and mother.

It doesn't

even say have

affection for

your father

and mother.

It says

honour.

Why?

Why not

love your

father and

mother?

father.

Now, there

is an

enormous range

of transitions

that we go

through in

life in

which we

relate to

our parents.

You go from

an infant to

a toddler to

a young adult

and then the

teenage years

and then all

that sort of

stuff.

In fact,

that comes

before young

adult,

teenage years,

and then after

that sort of

stuff.

Now, in

some of those

stages of

life, to

obey your

parents is

either

absolutely

essential,

crucial for

you, as I

would argue,

for instance,

you know,

sort of up to

the age of

10, or

it's a

complete

disaster for

you, such

as if

you're 47.

There is

just an

enormous range

of situations

in the way

that we relate

to our

parents, and

there's also

an enormous

range of

parents as

well.

It might

not have

struck you,

before, but

by definition,

half of all

parents are

below average.

Argue with

that logic.

A lot of

parents are

not great

parents, and

that is why

the Bible is

very smart

when it says

there is one

thing that is

constant in

your relationship

with your

parents, despite

the stages of

life, despite

the quality of

your parents,

and this one

condition must be

fulfilled.

you must

honour them.

And honour

is not a

sentimental word,

it's an

unsentimental

word.

It means to

treat your

parents with

appropriate

weight.

Now let's

just, given

that most of

us here are

adults, and

some are

moving in

that direction,

once you hit

over 30,

let's just

focus on what

it looks like

as an adult

to honour

their parents.

And there

are five

ways, five

ways, at

least five

ways.

Number one,

find the

appropriate

symbols by

which you

show them

respect.

Remembering

special days,

places at the

table, you

know, even

when my dad

comes and

visits my

home, offer

him the head

of the table.

letting them

speak first in

certain situations,

that sort of

thing.

Number two,

don't underestimate

your parents'

need to see

themselves

reproduced in

you.

Any place

that you can

say, I got

that from you

and I'm

grateful.

You know,

when my,

I was,

this is

recorded,

just recently

I was helping

my dad

build a

shed and

my mum

was grateful

that I was

there to

help my

dad build

the shed.

I'm slightly

more precise

on things like

levels and

measurements than

he is.

He's pretty

good but I'm

more precise

on things.

And mum

said, you

know, glad

you're here to

make it happen.

And I said,

well, I

actually did get

it from him.

I got my

skills from

him.

Just take it,

you know,

anytime they see

you duplicate

it.

My dad

compliments me

on my

driving and

I got it

from him.

He can

drive virtually

anything.

You put him

in a machine,

you can drive

anything.

Got it from

him.

My incessant

cleanliness and

tidiness and

order, I got it

from my mum.

Not from my

dad.

Got that from

my mum.

Don't underestimate

your parents need

to see themselves

reproducing you.

Number three,

don't stereotype

them.

They can change.

People can change.

Just because

they were always

like that up

until the time

you left home

doesn't mean

they're like it

now.

They can change.

Number four,

you have to

forgive them.

If you stay

resentful at

your parents,

your life will

be distorted.

And some of

you might have

lost your

parents long

ago, but

you're still

angry with

them about

something.

And if you

are, they

are still

controlling you.

They're still

controlling you.

And if you're

still mad at

them, you're

still operating

like the

child.

One of the

ways to break

that is by

forgiving them.

Number five,

and this is the

most important

one, the way

to honour

them is to

be liberated

enough from

them to be

able to say,

I don't need

your approval

anymore.

I don't need

your approval

anymore.

If you've

had really

great parents,

you can spend

the rest of

your life

trying to

please them

by being

like them,

or you

might have

had really

bad parents

and you

spend the

rest of

your life

resenting

them.

Either way,

you haven't

left them.

Either way,

you haven't

left them.

You haven't

grown up and

therefore you

haven't really

honoured them.

A number of

years ago,

about five,

six years ago,

I spent most

of my life

attempting to

get my

father's

approval,

where he

would say

that I'm

proud of

you and

what you

become and

that sort

of thing.

About five,

six years

ago,

sitting in

the kitchen

over the

rectory,

mum and

dad came

and said,

just want

you to

know how

proud of

we are

in you and

what you

become,

who you

are as a

husband,

who you

are as a

father,

who you

are as a

pastor.

We

couldn't

be prouder

as parents.

You know

something?

It was

really nice

to hear

him say

it.

I didn't

need it.

That's what

Jesus does

for you.

I didn't

need it.

It was

good for

them to

say it,

good for

them,

and it

was good

for me,

but I

didn't

need it.

Let me

just say,

this is one

of the

reasons why

the Bible's

called on

our parents

is so,

so important.

You never

grow up,

you never

grow up

if you

don't need

their approval,

if you

don't get

to a point

where you

don't need

their approval.

At one

point,

our parents

stood in the

place of

God for

us,

they were

our complete

source of

identity and

security and

significance,

but for the

Christian,

they aren't

God anymore.

Through

Jesus Christ,

who lost

his father's

delight at

the cross,

we now have

the delight

of God the

Father.

Through

Jesus,

our true

brother,

we now have

the ultimate

family,

the ultimate

home,

the ultimate

approval of

the ultimate

father,

and through

Jesus,

we are now

free to

honour our

parents,

we are free

to forgive

our parents,

free not to

over-need our

parents.

So as I

said,

something for

everyone.

We're all

kids.

Something for

everyone.

Jesus is the

answer for the

couple, the

married couple,

to flourish.

He is the

answer for the

spouse in a

difficult marriage.

He's the answer

for the single

person wanting

to be married.

He is the

answer for the

parents seeking

to impart

wisdom and

for the child

seeking to

honour their

parent.

Amen.