The Discipline of Choices

What kind of decision maker are you?

Do you go with your heart?

Are you a thinker and go with your head?

Or are you controlled by a strong willpower?

The way decisions are made are influenced by all three,

the head, the heart and the will.

For me, it depends on the time of day.

First thing in the morning is when I make the best decisions.

My willpower is always strongest when the sun is going up.

I might have made the decision to eat healthy

and try and be a fit type person.

And so in the morning, it'll be a protein shake.

And I'll make sure I get to the gym.

But by the end of the day, I'll start making poor decisions.

You know, the end of the day, 3 o'clock in the afternoon,

when my heart desires chocolate and sugar,

and so my mind justifies what I want.

It says things like,

you've been good all day.

You've worked hard.

You deserve that pile of donuts.

You agree, right?

I do.

Fine.

Which of these three influences the decisions that you make?

The head, the heart or the will?

Our head, our mind is the logical decision maker.

Its electrical synapses allow thoughts at our senses to coordinate who we are.

Our hearts are our emotion and passion center behind what we do and who we are.

It's the basis of the actions that we choose and our will.

Well, we speak of willpower, the amount of strength to make a decision to,

that is important to who we are at any given moment.

Choices about food and exercise,

these might not seem that important,

but the choices that we make impact our relationships with the people around us.

I can make good choices to care for my marriage,

and for my friends, and for my kids.

I can make choices that are made of sin and hurt me and hurt others.

I can choose impatience and anger over love and gentleness.

And it's the same with our relationship with God.

Our choices impact our relationship with Him.

Are we aware of the things that are influencing our decisions?

Do we know why we choose what we choose?

We are in the middle of our series on the disciplines of grace.

And God, in His love and mercy, has shown us His grace.

He has brought us into His family.

And we pursue holiness in His power.

And over the last couple of weeks,

we've seen that pursuing holiness can only be done

because of God's unearned and undeserved grace.

And last week, with John, we saw that without depending on God's strength,

it's like trying to row a boat with one oar.

We just end up going around in circles.

And today, we come to a bit of a pointy end.

How do we make good choices in life?

How do we actually make worthwhile God-honoring decisions?

Choosing the right things so that we are moving towards God in obedience

instead of moving away from Him?

What would we look like if our choices were disciplined by God's grace?

So as we have a look at what God has to say to us today,

let me pray for us before we jump into Ephesians.

Heavenly Father,

I thank You that You have given us Your Word

and that You offer us salvation and love.

Father, help us to understand who we are as people

and why we make certain choices

so that we can make choices to obey You

because You have loved us, Lord.

Amen.

In the book of Ephesians, from the author Paul,

he tells us what making good choices looks like.

So please have your Bibles open with me at Ephesians 4.

We're going to start in verse 25.

Share with those in need.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful for building others up

according to their needs,

that it may benefit those who listen.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God

with whom you are sealed for the day of redemption.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,

brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Be kind and compassionate to one another,

forgiving each other,

just as in Christ God forgave you.

So in the first half of the book of Ephesians,

the first three chapters,

Paul spends his time outlining

all that God has done in His grace

in salvation for us.

And now Paul speaks about how a Christian is to live.

What it looks like to live in the world as a Christian.

And Paul is saying that the Christian life

involves a long series of choices.

You can make this choice or this choice.

You can...

I think there's a slide for it.

Let me see.

Here we go.

You can choose truth or you can lie.

You can deal with your anger

or you can let it smolder and burn.

You can work or you can steal.

You can share or you can spend it on yourself.

You can speak helpful words.

You can speak damaging words.

You can be kind or full of rage.

You can be compassionate or full of malice.

Because God in His love and grace

has chosen to love us

and make us right before Him.

So now we get the choice to obey Him.

That is an every step, every decision,

every moment of the day type thing.

Speech that builds up.

Sexuality that honors God.

Hands that work to God's glory.

And Paul says in the book of Romans

that we choose to obey God.

When we choose to obey God,

it leads to holiness.

When we choose to obey God,

it leads to holiness.

We put on Christ-like behavior,

Christ-like character,

one choice at a time.

One choice at a time

in each and every situation

we are faced with throughout the day.

You all had to make a choice this afternoon.

Am I going to go to church?

Am I going to stay home

and have that pile of donuts

James has suggested already?

We don't become more holy

just by depending upon God.

We don't become more holy

and Christ-like

through praying a prayer of commitment

to commit our lives to God.

We don't even become holy

just by reading God's Word.

Paul in Romans 6 encourages us

that we become holy

by choosing to obey God.

We become like Christ

when we make that choice

to obey Jesus.

By obedience to His Word.

By choosing to obey God's will

that He has outlined in the Scriptures.

Even Jesus Himself,

who was perfect,

had to put on holiness.

He had to choose God's way.

Hebrews 5 tells us

that He had to learn holiness

through obedience.

And you see this

when Jesus is tempted

both by Satan

and in the Garden of Gethsemane.

There is that moment

where there's that moment

before Satan

when Satan's like,

come on,

choose this way.

Turn this stone into bread

or a pile of donuts.

You know,

Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane

faced with that choice,

am I going to obey God

to my death

or am I going to choose my life?

He chooses to obey God.

And He does that fully

by obeying when He dies on the cross.

Paul has given us

this big list of choices to make.

It seems pretty straightforward

when you put it in black and white like that.

Holiness comes from choosing obedience.

Obedience.

But the reality is

obeying God,

making good choices

is hard.

Good choices are hard.

It's not just as simple

as making a decision,

I'm going to obey God

and then it's exactly

what you do forever.

At least that's my experience.

I wonder if that's yours.

There is a very real struggle

that goes on in each of us.

A struggle

to be a good person.

A struggle to

obey God.

A struggle to

not be someone who sins.

Good choices are hard.

Fighting against sin

and obeying God

is a real struggle.

I see it in me.

I see it in my sin.

I see it in my kids.

I see it in all of you.

I've had plenty of conversations

with people here

at previous churches

about people who are just

struggling with their sin,

who hate it.

They want to see their sin dead,

but they struggle

with the desire and pull.

So for us today,

we're going to have a look at

two reasons

why obeying God is hard

and then three reasons,

three ways that God helps us.

Two ways that making good choices

is hard

and three ways that God helps us.

So the first reason

making good choices is hard

is our hearts.

Paul in Romans 7

goes into this internal struggle.

He says,

For I have the desire

to do what is good,

but I cannot carry it out.

For I do not do the good I want,

but the evil I do not want to do.

This I keep on doing.

This is Paul.

He was the best of the best Pharisees

of the time.

He knew the Old Testament

back to front.

He wrote,

and then he was converted

by Jesus when he met Jesus.

And he goes on to plant churches

all across the region of Turkey

and Asia at the time.

And then he ends up writing

half the New Testament,

which we have.

And he's saying

that he struggled

to do good,

but he did evil instead.

Thomas Cranmer,

he was the head,

the archbishop of the church

in England about 500 odd years ago.

And he thought a lot

about this difficulty

to obey God.

And one person summarized

his thoughts

and said,

What the heart loves,

the will chooses,

and the mind justifies.

The first reason

making good choices

is hard

is because of our hearts.

There is this

trifold battle

between heart

and will

and mind

and the heart

is the one

that wins.

What we desire

in our hearts

is always going

to win out.

And our mind

is just going

to justify it.

We say things like,

I know

I shouldn't do this.

I know

I shouldn't eat this food.

I know

I shouldn't speak.

I know I shouldn't.

And then

there's always

a but.

But I want to.

I know

I shouldn't,

but I'm going

to make an exception.

For me,

I know

I should be patient

with my kids,

but

I am so frustrated

with them.

Maybe it's,

I know

I shouldn't say this

to her behind her back.

I should say this

about her behind her back.

But

I get to share

this gossip.

I know

I should declare this

on my tax return,

but what the tax office

doesn't know.

I know

I shouldn't look

at this

inappropriate material

on my phone.

I know

it's not good for me,

but

I want to.

When our

willpower

is weak,

our hearts

desires

are revealed.

We can usually

pretend that

we're pretty good

people,

but sometimes

things come along

and knock down

that

and reveal

who we really

are.

It's been

interesting talking

to people

about this year's

tax returns.

I don't know

if you're a

person who

pays tax,

has a tax

return.

It reminded me

of what happened

years ago

when the government

first started

handing out this

thing called

the baby bonus.

Did anybody

get the baby bonus?

Are any

of you

children

a baby

of the baby

bonus?

That might

be a more

accurate.

John is.

John's a baby

of the baby

bonus.

That's good.

It was a

financial boost

that the

government

gave to

people who

had kids

to pay

for the

associated

costs

of having

a child.

You know,

nappies

and all

those wonderful

things.

But I had

so many

conversations

with people

about what

they were

actually spending

their money

on.

Holidays,

TVs,

things for

them and

not what

it was

actually

intended

to.

A big

chunk of

cash revealed

where their

hearts were

at.

I wonder

what would

you do

if I gave

you a

sizable

chunk of

cash

right now?

Would it

reveal

where your

heart is?

Would it

reveal how

you were

treasuring

Jesus?

There are

times when

our choices

reveal the

state of

our hearts.

If we

were to

just think

that we

as humans

and people

made decisions

in our

minds that

weren't

influenced by

our hidden

desires and

motives in

our heart,

we would

understand how

we work and

how other

people work.

We are far

more complicated

than that.

And what is

going in our

hearts when it

comes to what's

really important

is what

wins.

Even when

our mind

says something

else.

Because what

the heart

wants,

what the

heart

desires,

our will

chooses,

and the

mind is

just going

to justify

it.

So that's

the first

reason that

making good

choices is

hard,

because of

our hearts.

The second

reason making

good choices

is hard is

because we

get decision

fatigue.

Have you

heard of

decision

fatigue?

Have you

felt decision

fatigue?

Paul is

nodding with

me.

I remember

when we were

planning our

wedding,

not Paul and

I,

I'll listen

to my

wedding,

when we were

planning our

wedding,

there were

just so

many decisions

that needed

to be made.

There was

the wedding

cake.

What flavor

was going to

be of the

cake?

How many

layers were

going to be

in the

cake?

What was

going to

be on

the cake?

What kind

of knife

were we

going to

use to

cut the

cake?

Which we

broke when

we were

cutting our

cake?

How many

people are

we going

to invite?

Where are

they going

to sit?

In what

order are

they going

to sit?

There is

the wedding

dress.

Maybe not

that dress,

maybe that

dress,

let's try

another 15

wedding

dresses.

Now,

the bridesmaids

dresses,

I don't

like that,

I don't

like you

in that,

and the

man wears

a suit.

My wife

helpfully

pointed out

to me that

I didn't

have to

make all

those decisions,

it was

mainly her

making those

decisions,

but I was

involved with

enough of

them.

Making

decisions

is

exhausting.

And we

have to

make choices

all day

long.

What am

I going

to wear?

What am

I going

to eat?

How am

I going

to get to

work?

Am I

going to

buy a

coffee

before

work,

or do

I have

a coffee

at work?

What

flavour is

it going

to be?

What am

I going

to do?

Am I

going to

go to

that

tutorial

today,

or will

I just

do it

at home?

Will I

get sushi

or dumplings

for lunch?

And it

leaves our

brains

exhausted,

unable to

make good

decisions.

This is

why people

like Steve

Jobs,

the founder

and head

of Apple

until he

passed

away.

He wore

the same

thing

every day

so he

just didn't

have to

make that

decision.

So he

could use

his brain

for other

things.

And how

do we

go then

when it

comes to

making

choices

to obey

God?

Making

good choices

to obey

God is

influenced by

how fatigued

we get.

As I

mentioned

earlier,

I'm a

morning

person,

so I

make better

choices in

the mornings.

Making

the God

honoring

choice to

be patient

is much

harder when

I'm tired

at the

end of

the day.

Making

the choice

to be

gentle and

loving with

my words

at the

end of

the day

for me

is a

lot

harder.

Recently

I read

a study

about the

impact

decision

making has

on our

willpower.

In a

research study

by the

National

Academy

of Sciences

from the

US,

they examined

the factors

that impacted

judges when

they were

making decisions

whether criminals

should go out

on parole.

They looked

at all the

factors and

the biggest

factor was

not the

type of

crime,

the severity

of the

crime,

how long

they've been

incarcerated.

The biggest

factor that

impacted whether

a criminal

got parole

was the

time of

day.

It was

the time

of day.

So first

thing in

the morning

the percentage

of decisions

made by a

judge was

65%.

So 65%

of their

decisions

of criminals

they went

out on

parole.

As the

day went

on that

plummeted

to zero.

And so

by and

then the

judge would

have a

lunch break,

have some

food,

the brain

would have

some sugar

in it so

it could

function

properly,

and they'd

come back

and their

percentage of

criminals out

on parole

would go

back up to

65.

Very

generous.

It would

drop again

after that.

Our

willpower is

like a

muscle that

gets fatigued.

And so if

you're going

to go and

commit a crime

anytime soon,

you want to

see that

judge early

in the

morning,

not at

11.30

when he's

hangry.

Every time

we make a

decision,

it gets

harder to

make the

next one

a good

one.

We get

home from

work or

from school

and we

want to

make good

decisions.

We want

to love

and honour

our parents

as we

honour God,

but we've

run out of

willpower.

We want

to eat a

healthy meal,

we want to

cook good

food,

but we've

run out of

willpower and

so we order

Uber Eats

instead.

You know,

you want to

go out and

exercise,

you want to

make good

decisions,

but it's

cold and

the TV is

not going to

watch itself.

Why is

this important?

Why is

this important

for us as

Christians?

Well,

we need to

understand who

we are as

people with

bodies.

God has

made us

embodied

creatures.

We are not

just spirits.

We have a

spiritual aspect,

but we also

have bodies

who are

reliant on

food.

We use

energy that

is not

unlimited.

do you

know when

you are

tempted to

sin?

Do you

know what

is going to

have a

negative impact

on you?

Do you

know the

time of

day that

you are

more likely

to struggle?

So when we

are confronted

by sin,

maybe we

need to be

like the

judge and

go and

eat some

food so

that our

brains have

some sugar

and it

functions so

we can make

good choices?

Do you

know what

you are

like as

a person

with a

body

following

God?

This all

seems stacked

against us.

Our hearts

are going to

do whatever

they want

to do.

Making

decisions is

exhausting for

us, but

good choices

are possible.

And there

are three

things,

three ways

to help

us with

making good

choices.

The first,

let's have a

look at that

quote again.

What the

heart loves,

the will

chooses and

the mind

justifies.

We don't

need more

willpower.

Willpower is

not going to

help us.

We don't

need a

more disciplined

mind.

We definitely

don't need more

guilt when we

sin.

What we need

is the first

one.

We need a

new heart.

And this

is what God

promised in

Ezekiel 11,

that he would

give us a

new heart

and a new

spirit.

And this is

what happens

when God

reveals himself

to us.

And we can

see Jesus

for who he

is.

He is God's

son.

No longer

are we

slaves to

sin.

God has

rescued us

and he has

given us a

way to

choose to

obey him.

And as

we grow

in Christ

likeness and

follow him,

he is

changing our

hearts.

He has

taken out

our heart

of stone

and put

in a

heart of

flesh and

he is

changing our

desires so

that we can

be more

Christ-like,

so that we

can make

decisions to

honor him.

He is

changing us

from just

pursuing wealth

and greed

and power

and immorality

to choosing

to love

and be

generous and

gentle,

to love and

honor God.

God offers

a gracious

gift of

a new

heart so

that we

can choose

him, so

we can

obey him.

When I've

gotten really

frustrated at

bad choices,

I'll usually

respond,

James, don't

do that

again, don't

be an

idiot, you're

better than

that, God

loves you,

you need to

be stronger,

you need to

have more

willpower and

that is not

always helpful.

It is far

better to

remember and

pray, God,

change my

heart, change

my desires,

give me new

desires so

that I am not

seeking to

please myself,

but so that I

want to honor

you and love

you.

And so the

first thing that

helps us to

obey God is

that he offers

and gives us

a new heart,

a new heart

with new

desires.

Secondly, God

has made us

creatures of

habit.

You might

even be

sitting in the

same seat

thereabouts that

you usually sit

in, I don't

know, I

wonder if I

could take a

couple of

panographs over

the next couple

of weeks and

check that out

if you like,

but we are

creatures of

habit and

this is one

of the ways

that God

has given

us to get

over decision

fatigue.

If we make

a decision

enough times,

it will become

a habit so we

don't have to

make that

decision.

We'll just

do it without

thinking about

it.

And at the

heart of

habits is the

brilliance of

our Creator

God.

Because making

decisions takes

time and

energy, but

habits keep

us from having

to make that

decision over

and over and

over again.

We are really

good at making

habits because

our brain is

very lazy.

Our brain doesn't

want to use

energy, it wants

to conserve energy.

It wants to

take something

that we do

regularly and

just make it a

habit.

It will turn

almost any

routine into a

habit.

This is why

when I've hurt

my right hand

and have to

brush my teeth

with my left

hand, it just

doesn't know

what to do.

And I have a

certain habit

with my right

So our brain

is really good

at making

habits.

And when we

are trained to

have good

habits, our

brain is then

freed up to

use that energy

to make good

choices to

obey God.

It's not going

to get as

fatigued as

easily.

It's freed up

to use that

energy to

make good

God-honoring

choices.

Imagine if

we put some

hard work and

some energy

into taking

off some bad

habits and

putting on

good ones.

Imagine if we

put on the

habit of getting

up first thing

in the morning

spending time

with God,

hearing from

God's voice

before anybody

else's voice.

Spending time

in prayer.

Imagine if we

put on the

habit of

community group

and gathering

together to

treasure Jesus

and so that's

just an automatic

part of the

week.

Don't even have

to think about

it.

I just go to

church, I go to

community group,

they're just my

habits.

Because it's

dangerous to have

to make these

decisions over and

over again.

Our hearts

easily wander, we

don't want to

obey God and

so if we make

these habits it's

going to protect

us.

I heard about a

Christian recently

who wasn't very

encouraging.

He put in his

calendar to

encourage someone

every three days.

I think if I was

going to do that

it would have to

be every couple

of hours but

that's just me.

But he made a

habit out of it and

so through that

habit he has now

become someone

who habitually

encourages and

builds up other

people with his

words.

That habit helped

him to choose to

become more

Christ-like but it

also took some

effort.

If Jesus truly is

our Lord and

Saviour and our

greatest treasure in

our lives, do our

habits reflect that?

It is worth it to

make the effort and

use our energy to

cultivate a new

habit, maybe even

two new habits, to

pursue God and

being like him, to

make him our

greatest joy.

But I want to give a

brief warning on

habits.

Habits can be very

good but they

don't make us

holy on their own.

Some of us are

incredibly disciplined.

Some of us might be

getting up really

early, memorising

large chunks of the

Bible.

Maybe we get out of

bed and we spend

exactly 16 minutes

reading God's Word and

then four and a half

minutes praying every

day.

And it's easy to think

that being disciplined

and doing that kind of

thing every day brings

us closer to God.

But it's not habits that

bring us closer to God,

it's choosing to obey

him.

And so habits are a

wonderful blessing for

us because they free up

our brains to have the

energy to make good

choices.

So firstly, God gives

us new hearts with new

desires.

And secondly, God has

made us people who can

get over decision

fatigue with good

habits.

And thirdly then, it's

the importance of

training.

In 1 Timothy 4, Paul

tells us that physical

training is of some

value, which is a

little bit of

justification for me

spending some time at

the gym.

But spiritual

training is of

utmost value.

We must train

ourselves to be

godly.

Choosing godliness

takes practice.

We've seen that

decision making is

exhausting like

exercising a muscle,

but what happens when

you exercise a muscle?

Anybody?

What happens when you

exercise a muscle?

Noeline, what was

that?

It builds.

Hopefully, it might

even get bigger and

more defined.

I don't know.

But more importantly,

it becomes more able to

withstand pressure and

weight.

God wants us to train

ourselves to obey him

so that we can

understand more

pressure and more

weight.

God's love for you.

He has saved us

through his son.

He gives us a new

heart with new

desires and we can

now make good

choices.

But this is where the

rubber hits the road.

This is where things get

real.

Because we need to train

ourselves to obey every

single day.

The temptation to sin

comes.

Imagine any of your

sins.

Just take one of them.

That temptation to sin

comes and you're tired.

And you've been praying

to God about this sin

every day for the last

five years.

And you hate this sin.

You want to put it off.

Are you willing to say no

in that moment?

That's what it comes down

to.

Will we put off sin and

put on choosing to

obey God?

Remember that list from

Paul in Ephesians 4.

Every day we are

training ourselves to be

people characterized by

either godliness or

ungodliness by by lies or

by truth by selfishness

or unselfishness by anger

or forgiveness by impurity

or purity pride or

humility.

Every day we are making

us more like one of

these.

We are people.

More used to are we

people more used to

lifting the weight of

truth.

Able to deal with truth

or are we training

ourselves to lie?

Are we training

ourselves to let go of

our pride and to put on

humility or are we

training ourselves to be

angry?

Jess Backich in the

office recently made a

decision that she as part

of a mental health

awareness campaign she

was going to do

something like it's

it's 6,000 push-ups.

It's a ridiculous amount

of push-ups over a month

and she has to do

something like 150

every day.

She's going to have the

biggest shoulders here

even bigger than Darcy

by the end of the

month.

The reality is though

she it's it's really

easy to make that

decision at the start

of the month.

But every day she's

faced with a choice.

Is she going to get

down and do those

push-ups?

Now you may have

chosen to follow the

Lord and every day we

are faced with a choice.

How am I going to obey

him today?

Don't excuse sin in your

life.

Don't be too happy to

say oh that's sin.

That's just part of who

I am.

I'm a bit impatient.

Particularly in the

morning when I haven't

had my coffee.

I'm a bit fiery.

I've just I've just got a

hot temper.

However bad habits

come from a series of

bad choices.

We are all tempted to

sin in many ways.

And God enables us to

make a choice to obey.

He offers salvation to

all people to give a

new heart so that we

are not stuck making

bad choices but he

offers a new heart with

new desires.

Have you taken God up

on this offer?

Are you frustrated with

where your life is and

where your life is going?

Maybe you fall into bad

habits and can't seem to

make good ones.

God offers a new heart

that is filled with new

desires to love.

Ask him to have godly

desires today.

Brothers and sisters do

you understand who you

are as people?

Do you know what and

when it is hard for you

to obey?

What do you need to

change so that you

can obey God?

It is possible to

make good choices and

it is possible to

obey God.

Because God has given

us a new heart.

He gives us habits to

draw us closer to him

to help us choose to

obey.

But will we choose to?

Will you train yourself

in the love of God

to choose his will

as long as it is today?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, Jane.