Generous Forgiveness

It was in October 2006.

A gunman took a bunch of hostages

in a one-room Amish school in Pennsylvania, USA.

The result was of that moment that he shot 10 children,

all between the ages of 7 and 12, 13,

five of whom died before he himself took his own life.

Within hours of that tragedy happening,

the Amish community visited both the killer's immediate family

and his parents to express sympathy

for the loss of their father, brother, son.

The Amish, as a community,

the uniformly expressed forgiveness for the murderer.

And this amazed America.

Numerous voices called on America as a nation to follow suit

and to be a country that is more forgiving.

Others commented that,

no, no, no, justice must come first here before forgiveness.

Others commented, in fact, that the secular society

in which they were existing here

can't produce people who handle

that level of injustice and suffering

without some form of retaliation.

You see, their culture, like ours,

is committed to self-realization and self-assertion

with a profound sense of self-entitlement.

We are consistently told that our happiness,

our individual happiness,

our individual interests,

our needs come first.

And yet, there's something in it that says

we cannot live without forgiveness.

No society can, in fact, survive without forgiveness.

When it's absent in a society,

in any sort of community,

with any family,

the results are horrifying.

As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wrote,

he who is devoid of the power to forgive

is devoid of the power of love.

And we cannot live without love.

We crave a more loving,

a more generous society.

But instead, what we are existing on,

in right now, in our culture,

is from the schoolyard to the lounge room

to the office, to institution and politics,

we exist in cancel culture,

not forgiving culture.

And so, if you just joined us,

our theme for this term is generous God.

What I've been saying consistently

throughout this series

is that generosity in the Bible

is not less than what we do with our money,

but it's much more than that.

Radical generosity means to be pervasively generous.

It's characterized by our spirit of unselfishness,

of service and generosity

in every single area of life.

And there's a very specific form

of relational generosity

that must characterize every Christian,

and that is generous forgiveness.

And so, grab your Bibles, Luke 17,

St. Paul's app has got an outline.

You'll see the journey there.

We're going to start with the difficulty of forgiveness,

how to practice forgiveness,

and then how to unlock forgiveness.

That's our journey this morning.

So, every one of us

have people out there

who, if you like,

owe us

in some way

because of the way they've treated us

or because of the way that we have perceived

that they've treated us.

And we tend to hold that thing over them

relationally in some kind of way.

We might be demanding of them

or we might just keep it bottled up inside

and we don't speak about it.

Either way,

it's not a radical generosity towards them.

Forgiveness means that we release it.

We need to let it go.

Does that sound hard?

Does it sound hard?

Well, the disciples said,

yes, this is really hard.

They thought it was too.

You see, when Jesus starts talking about forgiveness,

the response of the disciples

is an emphatic,

increase our faith.

Increase our faith.

It's another way of saying,

how on earth is this possible?

How can we possibly live like this?

Verse 4 is the enormity of the challenge

Jesus puts before the disciples.

He says,

if your brother sins against you seven times in a day

and seven times they come to you repentant,

you must forgive.

Now, he's not encouraging them in any way

to calculate how many times

someone sins against you in the course of one day.

The number seven was symbolic for Jewish people.

It's the number that means completeness,

fullness,

perfection,

beyond which no more is possible.

So what Jesus is saying here

is a lot worse than we think it is.

Someone put it like this.

If a person would wrong you

as completely and as fully

as any person

could wrong another human being,

you must forgive them.

Imagine the worst thing

that anyone could ever possibly do to you.

Something so bad

that there's nothing beyond it that's possible.

Jesus turns to his disciples

and says,

you must forgive them.

That's why they're going,

increase our faith.

Increase our faith.

That's impossible, Jesus.

It's an enormous challenge

and yet it's one

that we should not shrink back from

because

Jesus says

there's an enormous danger for you

if you don't forgive.

There's a little phrase

right at the very beginning

of our passage read out for us.

It's easy to ignore.

Verse three,

it says very simply,

watch yourselves.

We are called to

watch ourselves

when we are sinned against.

Which is the exact opposite

of what normally happens.

Normally when someone wrongs us,

we pay a great deal of attention

to them.

Think about how much they've wronged us,

how much they've hurt us.

Jesus says

we are to pay attention to ourselves

because there is so much damage

to ourselves

if we don't.

Watch yourselves.

Watch yourselves

because it is so hard

to admit

how angry you are

at the people

that have wronged you.

We say

I'm fine.

You know,

I'm just a little upset.

And we have to say that

in order to maintain

the image

that we ourselves

are good people.

and so we deny

how embittered

we actually are.

And then we say

things like,

well,

I forgive them

but I don't forget.

Forgive but don't forget.

Which translated

means

I'm not

actively seeking

their revenge

but I'm hoping

they do get

some payback.

Okay.

We should always

assume

this is what Jesus

is saying here

we'll watch

always assume

that you are

more resentful

and less forgiving

and more controlled

by what other people

think of you

than you are.

Than you think you are.

Jesus says

watch yourself

because

it will

destroy you.

Watch yourself

when you are wronged

against

it will

destroy you.

The Russian novelist

Leo Tolstoy

I'm going to mention him

I think in a couple

of weeks as well

a bit more

extensive illustration

but to simply say

he had an extremely

over

over

inflated view

of himself

is probably a good

way to put it.

He was a

notoriously

difficult individual.

He was married

to a lady

named Sonia

and on the eve

of his wedding

to Sonia

he gave

Sonia

his diaries

for her to read

which included

his many

many sexual

experiences

including

one of which

was with

the servant

who was currently

living and working

with them

and the child

that she had

was his.

Now that should

have raised

a whole heap

of alarms

for Sonia

in that moment

but they

went on

into marriage

anyway

and the early

days of their

marriage

were relatively

happy

but later

on in life

Sonia

herself

was known

to launch

into

jealous

rage

and tirades

when she

was 80

years old

she was

writing in

her own

journal

very very

bitterly

about how

she had

read those

diaries

decades

before

one historian

wrote this

about her

for half a

century

for unforgiveness

blameded her

and in the

process

destroyed

all love

for her

husband

and herself

Hebrews 12

15 says

see to it

that no one

falls short

of the grace

of God

and that no

bitter root

grows up

to cause

trouble

and defile

many

that's why

Jesus is here

watch

yourselves

watch

yourself

because

our

anger

will

always

call itself

justified

it will

always

call itself

truth

and righteousness

and if we

keep a hold

of it

it will

defile us

it's

interesting

that in

the English

language

there are

four words

that all

come from

the same

core root

meaning

wrath

which is

rage

fury

anger

wreath

which is

a twisting

together

of flowers

and vines

and branches

writhe

which is

to be

bent

out of

shape

and contorted

and wraith

which is

a ghost

like image

of someone

just before

or after

death

Jesus

says

watch

yourself

watch

yourself

for the

low level

spiritual

fever

called

self

pity

it will

give you

a sense

of

entitlement

that because

of what

you've

gone

through

you deserve

a break

you deserve

a good

treatment

from other

people

watch

yourself

because if

the good

treatment

does not

come

you will

quickly slide

into

cynicism

a joyless

cynicism

about people

and life

watch

yourself

because you

will pull

yourself

back from

people

for example

watch

yourself

if you

can't

forgive

your

parents

for things

that they've

done

it will

distort

your

relationship

with every

single

authority

figure

in life

watch

yourself

if someone

snubs

you

put yourself

on high

alert

watch

your heart

because

their snub

of you

is in

fact

the least

of your

problems

the least

of your

problems

beginning

of this

year

I said

that

I

told

you

my

new

year's

resolutions

one

of

which

was

to

run

a

marathon

and

second

of which

was

to set

a PB

running

that

marathon

it was

my

first

ever

marathon

and

to set

a PB

doing

it

so

providing

I did

the

first

I would

achieve

the

second

so

two

in

one

go

and

so

I

did

that

Matilda's

didn't

get one

of these

but

it's

too

soon

isn't

it

yeah

there's

a lot

of pain

there

a lot

of pain

this

achieving

this

was

grueling

it

was

grueling

it

was

hard

work

and

I

will

never

ever

do

it

again

the

cost

was

enormous

another

new

year's

resolution

I won't

put it

there

I'll

put it

back

another

resolution

was to

not

purchase

any

new

clothing

except

for

underwear

which

I

don't

bear

second

hand

I

failed

in

that

one

I

bought

this

shirt

this

week

do

you know

the

hardest

hardest

hardest

new

resolution

that I've

had to

really

wrestle

with

not running

a

marathon

but

this

issue

I

said

one of

my

new

year's

resolutions

this

year

was to

grow

in

self

forgetfulness

forgetfulness

and

do you

know

you

cannot

grow

in

self

forgetfulness

without

watching

yourself

ironically

without

watching

yourself

so all

of this

year

since

early

January

this year

I have

slowly

and slowly

been working

through

this book

called

Forgive

Forgive

by Tim

Keller

I commend

it to

you

I commend

it to

you

and how

hard it

is

to truly

forgive

and how

essential it

is to

forgive

in this

past week

I've come

across four

people from

my past

and every

time the

first thought

in my mind

was how

those people

had wronged

me

Steve

watch

yourself

watch

yourself

so how

do we

practice

forgiveness

there are

at least

three things

that we

must do

if we

are to

avoid

becoming

twisted

and distorted

by bitterness

the first

thing we

must do

is refuse

to

caricature

the

wrongdoer

but we

must

instead

identify

with them

if someone

wrongs us

the first

thing we

do

is emphasize

their faults

and their

failings

Jesus is

making an

important point

here

when he

says

if your

brother

sins

and he's

talking in

this context

about Christians

wronging

Christians

he's reminding

us that we

are part of a

common family

when our

temptation is to

highlight the

differences

Jesus says

no no no

emphasize the

unity

in whose

you are

however the

Bible doesn't

just say

Christians are

to forgive

Christians

Mark 11

25

Jesus says

when you

stand praying

if you

hold anything

against

anyone

forgive them

anyone

it's the same

principle

we must

stress

what we

have in

common

with the

other

person

every human

being is

a complex

individual

made in

God's

image with

great

dignity

and worth

normal

practice

when someone

wrongs us

is to

reduce them

down so

that their

status is

attached to

what they've

done

someone

lies about

us and we

respond with

they are

a liar

when human

beings

sorry

we're human

beings

I'm a

human

being

but my

enemy

becomes

some

sort of

cartoon

character

a villain

we also

share a

common

sinfulness

with all

people

it's

impossible

to stay

angry with

someone

unless we

feel in

some way

superior to

them

when we

say things

like I

would never

do that

we elevate

ourselves

over others

in such a

way that it

makes us feel

morally superior

to them

we might not

sin in the same

way but we

are all just

as sinful

and instead

of caricaturing

them the

enemy we

must identify

with them

we must bring

ourselves down

and we must

lift them up

the second

thing we

need to

do is

to inwardly

surrender

the right

for repayment

and pay

the debt

ourselves

the word

that

the word

for forgive

that Jesus

uses in this

passage

is a very

specific word

that means

to release

a person

from a

financial debt

it means

in fact

to absorb

the debt

yourself

we can

only forgive

if inwardly

we forego

the seeking

of repayment

now this

is exact

opposite of

how I've

reacted on

so many

occasions

especially

with the

people that

I'm the

closest to

if someone

makes me

unhappy

we want to

make them

unhappy

if someone

rejects me

I want to

reject them

if someone

destroys my

reputation

I want to

destroy their

reputation

we trade

hurt for

hurt

hurt for

hurt for

hurt and

it spirals

down and

down and

down not

just destroying

them but

you in the

process

we might

do it

we might do

it directly

and tell

them off

and make

them feel

incredibly

bad

or we

might do

it behind

their

backs

and gossip

about them

and ruin

their reputation

do it

subtly

because you've

always got to

get behind

someone

before you

can stab

them in

the back

the less

obvious way

we do it

is through

an inward

nurturing

of the

hurt

we

replay the

hurt over

and over

in our

minds

in order

to stay

angry

whichever way

we do

it

we feel

like we're

getting some

kind of

repayment

but instead

it's robbing

us

it's robbing

us of

joy

and peace

and contentment

and we

become harder

we become

bitter

we become

twisted

a lack

of relational

generosity

destroys

us

over the

long term

and for

eternity

we

become

the victim

relational

generosity

might hurt

in the

short term

because we

refuse to

repay and

instead absorb

the debt

but it

leads to

joy

and peace

and freedom

for eternity

the third

thing we

are to do

in verse

three is

if your

brother or

sister sins

against you

rebuke them

that is

it's not

loving

this is to

answer the

justice

question

it's not

loving to

let someone

go on

doing

anything

they want

let's be

frank though

let's be

frank with

this one

and with

this verse

it is so

much easier

to rebuke

someone

I've always

found when

I'm particularly

angry with

them

and want

to give

them a

peace of

my mind

much easier

then

the purpose

of the

rebuke

is not to

put the

other person

down

the purpose

is to lift

them up

it is not

to win

an argument

it is to

win them

over into

relationship

it is to

restore

relationship

not to

further

break

the

relationship

if that's

the case

it's not

just what

we say

it is

how we

say it

and it's

particularly

the motivation

of why

we are

saying it

the truth

must be

spoken in

love

for the

other

person

if we

have not

inwardly

forgiven

the other

person

before we

rebuke

them

then why

are we

rebuking

them

in other

words

what this

passage is

saying

is we

must seek

the good

and we

must will

the good

of the

person that

we perceive

to have

wronged us

if we

do not

seek their

good

then we

haven't

forgiven

them

and therefore

watch

yourselves

so how

do we

unlock this

kind of

forgiveness

my

assumption

is that

if you've

been listening

and feeling

some of

this and

potentially

got some

people in

your mind

already

we're back

to the

plea of

the apostles

here

increase

our faith

this is

very hard

where's the

power to

live like

this

now

fortunately

Jesus has

given us

a great

answer to

that question

in what

follows in

verse 5

what we

have in

verse 5

and to

10

is a

parable

and a

metaphor

connected

together

the parable

starts in

verse 7

suppose

you were

the lord

the master

and the owner

of a farm

and you

had people

plowing the

paddocks

and looking

after your

livestock

at the

end of

the day

would you

say to

them

hey it's

time to

finish up

come on

in

have dinner

would you

say

oh thank

you for

the way

that you've

taken care of

my sheep

and looked

after the

cows

really really

appreciate

that

would you

say that

now us

modern people

would say

well yeah I

probably would

say that

you know

it's good for

staff morale

to affirm

them and

you know it's

a good HR

principle

we would do

that sort of

thing

but this is

first century

Palestine

it is not

western world

and rampant

individualism

and fragile

egos

the apostles

hearing this

would say

no Jesus

we would

never say

that

no one

would say

that

no land

owner

would say

that

these people

in this

parable

are servants

they're not

slaves

they're not

slaves

traded

in the

marketplace

who have

no rights

at all

but on the

other hand

they're not

equivalent to

your modern

employee

either

these servants

were people

who fell

into debt

they became

bankrupt

and instead

of being

put into

prison

they were

given an

opportunity

to work

for the

person

who owed

them

who they

owed the

money to

in order

to work

off their

debt

and it

could be

in first

century

Palestine

in Jewish

law

it could

be for

up to

seven

years

but in

that seven

years

this servant

was never

off duty

until the

debt was

paid

and so

the master

of the

house

would not

thank them

for helping

so much

you owe

them

you were

simply doing

your duty

to pay

down a

debt

and so

Jesus got

the apostles

to imagine

themselves

as the

masters

helping them

to see

that it

would be

inappropriate

for a

servant

to demand

thanks

from their

masters

and the

apostles

go yeah

that's

exactly

right

totally

inappropriate

especially

when the

master in

this case

has been

so gracious

as to

not throw

them into

prison

but has

given them

an opportunity

to get

out of

debt

that's

the parable

and then

Jesus flips

it in

verse 10

so you

also

when you

have done

everything

you were

told to

do

you should

say we

are unworthy

servants

we have

only done

our duty

when you

have done

everything

that you

are told

to do

including

forgive

you should

simply

say I

am doing

my

duty

the

self

righteous

moralistic

religious

person

says I've

done my

duty

God

you now

owe me

the

religious

person

is a

servant

acting like

a master

you owe

me

Jesus

saying

that when

we refuse

to forgive

we are

forgetting

who we

are

we are

servants

acting like

a master

he says

roundabout

way

what he's

saying here

is the

Christian

knows

that they

owe

God

everything

he gives

us

life

he has

brought

us

back

to

himself

at

great

cost

to

himself

he

is

the

king

and

we

are

the

servants

and when

we say

I'm not

going to

forgive

that

person

we are

swapping

roles

we are

playing

God

we think

we know

what people

deserve

when in

fact we

hardly even

know what

they've been

through in

life

what they've

done in

life

or what

their motives

are

Jesus also

uses a

metaphor to

help us see

how we can

live a life

of forgiving

verse 6

if you have

a faith

as small

as a

mustard

seed

you can

say to

this mulberry

tree

be uprooted

and plant

in the sea

and it

will obey

you

Jesus

saying that

if you have

even the

smallest

understanding

of what has

been done

for you

in Jesus

even the

slightest

understanding

that you

are a

sinner

saved by

grace

if we

understand

the good

news

of the

radical

generosity

of God

in the

gospel

to us

he said

you can

forgive

you just

need a

little

you can

just

forgive

just the

smallest

understanding

of that

is enough

to change

your heart

the only

way of

getting out

of the

behaviour

and the

attitude

of being

a servant

acting

like a

king

is in

fact to

marvel

at the

king

who became

a servant

it's the

only way

we will

never be

long

suffering

until we

marvel at

his

suffering

on the

cross

for us

we will

never be

able to

forgive

other

people's

tiny

debts

towards

us

until

we

marvel

at

Jesus

dying

on the

cross

to pay

an

incalculable

debt

that we

owe

against

God

Jesus

is the

judge

of the

universe

who

left

the

judgment

seat

and

got

judged

for us

for our

sin

in such

a way

that it

would

transform

our

hearts

that we

stop

being

judges

of

others

even

as he

was

dying

on

the

cross

even

as he

was

painfully

dying

on

the

cross

his

words

were

father

forgive

them

because

they

don't

know

what

they're

doing

forgive

them

only

as

we

look

to

the

cross

look

to

Jesus

him

there

for

us

can

we

be

changed

to

people

who

radically

generously

forgive

and we're

going to

do that

now

as we

share

in the

Lord's

Supper

it's a

great way

to I

think

to lead

from this

message

into

a

response

to

the

gospel

Matthew

26

we read

when they

were

eating

Jesus

took

bread

and when

he

given

thanks

he

broke

it

and gave

it to

his

disciples

saying

take

and

eat

this

is

my

body

then

he

took

the

cup

and

when

he

had

given

thanks

he

gave

it

to

them

saying

drink

from

it

all

of

you

this

is

my

blood

of the

new

covenant

which

is

poured

out

for

many

for

the

forgiveness

of

sins

and so

I

invite

you

to

come

to

Jesus

Matthew

11

come

to

Jesus

who

says

come to

me

all

who

are

weary

and

burdened

and I

will give

you

rest

take my

yoke upon

you and

learn from

me

for I

am gentle

and humble

in heart

and you

will find

rest for

your souls

come to

the one

who should

be holding

our sin

against us

but whose

heart is

humble and

gentle towards

us

always

grace

I'm

going to

invite my

helpers

down

they're

going to

come and

distribute

this to

you

quickly

I

emphasize the

word quickly

there for a

reason

not that I

want to rush

the process of

your reflection

at all

but

the Lord's

Supper is

an outward

and a visible

sign of the

grace shown to

us in the

Lord Jesus

Christ