One Flesh

Good morning.

My name is Matthew Capone, and I'm the pastor here at Cheyenne Mountain Presbyterian Church,

and it's my joy to bring God's Word to you today.

A special welcome if you're new or visiting with us.

We're glad that you're here, and we're glad that you're here not because we're trying to fill seats,

but because we're following Jesus together as one community.

And as we follow Jesus together, we become convinced that there's no one so good,

they don't need God's grace, and no one so bad they can't have it,

which is why we come back week after week to hear what God has to say to us in His Word.

We're continuing our series in the Gospel of Mark,

and you'll remember that the Gospels tell the story of Jesus and His life and His death and His resurrection.

When we were in the first half, chapters 1 through 8, we were asking these two questions,

who is Jesus and how do we respond to Him?

Peter gives this definitive answer in the middle of chapter 8 to Jesus' identity,

proclaiming that He's the Christ.

And from that point on in the Gospel, we're sort of following Jesus to the cross

as He explains what it actually means to come after Him.

And as we've seen, it involves tremendous joy,

but also more suffering than we might choose or like.

We're continuing that theme this morning,

and we're going to be talking about a very painful topic for many of us,

which Jesus is going to come and teach His disciples about divorce.

Now, as your pastor, I, of course, think about you all every week,

but you've been especially on my mind this week,

because as I think of our congregation, this family,

I am painfully aware of the fact that divorce is not an abstract concept for us.

I know that many of you have experienced divorce personally,

and just as many, if not more of you,

have walked with a son or a daughter through their divorce.

And if you're a parent, you know oftentimes it's more painful

to watch something happen to your child than to go through it yourself.

You're tempted to wish that you could change places with them

so they wouldn't have to suffer.

And so it's not just that it's a concrete topic for us,

but it's also very painful and haunting no matter the circumstances.

And so I imagine for many of you, as we talk about this,

there are going to be all sorts of memories that are stirred up for you.

And I just want to remind you in the midst of that,

that Jesus was your shepherd before you showed up this morning.

He's going to be your shepherd when you leave.

And he's also your shepherd right now.

And he may not make you comfortable, but he does offer his comfort.

And so Jesus is with you in the midst of that.

We don't just face the challenge of pain and memories

as we talk about this topic together, but there's also some risks.

There's some mistakes that we can make as we look at Jesus' teaching.

The first mistake is the mistake of assuming

that everyone who is divorced has sinned somehow.

I had a mentor who shared with me at one point,

after his mother and father's divorce, when his mother would attend church,

she felt like she was walking in wearing this big scarlet D on her chest,

that she was known as the woman who had been divorced.

So it's important for us to recognize there are people who have sinned in this

and there are people who have been sinned against.

And so we need to be extremely careful in making assumptions about other people's stories.

The other mistake we can make is for those who look back

as they look at Jesus' teaching and they realize,

yeah, there are ways that I've really failed in this area.

And there's a risk of just wallowing in that shame

and not knowing what to do with it.

And so it's important to recognize that as we talk about Jesus' word,

it includes God's grace to us.

That Jesus' forgiveness is real.

And so we embrace that forgiveness and we walk in it.

That's the essence of the gospel, right?

The gospel assumes that we've made mistakes,

that we've sinned, that we've failed,

and we move forward following Jesus.

And so with that being said, I'll remind you as I say sometimes,

I'm going to say something, not everything.

And this is the beginning of a conversation, not the end of a conversation.

And so if there are things that you want to discuss more,

I'm happy to meet and do that.

With that in mind, let's turn together to God's word.

You can turn with me in your Bible.

You can turn in your worship guide.

You can turn on your phone.

No matter where you turn, this is God's word.

And God tells us in 30 verse 5 that every word of God proves true.

He is a shield to those who take refuge in him.

And so that's why we read now starting at verse 1.

And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan,

and crowds gathered to him again.

And again, as was his custom, he taught them.

And Pharisees came up, and in order to test him, asked,

Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?

He answered them, What did Moses command you?

They said, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.

And Jesus said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment.

Verse 6,

But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,

and the two shall become one flesh.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter.

And he said to them,

Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.

And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.

I invite you to pray with me as we come to this portion of God's word.

Our Father in heaven, we thank you that you are a good shepherd and our good father.

And like a good father, you don't shy away from hard or sensitive or tender topics,

but instead you speak to us clearly because you love us.

And we ask that you would do that this morning.

We confess that your word is always too much for us unless you help us.

And we confess that's especially true this morning.

And so we ask for that help, that your spirit would be at work here,

that you would speak clearly to us,

and that you would comfort and be with us

as we face perhaps our own failures,

the failures of others,

and memories that we would rather forget.

We know that your grace is enough.

And so we simply ask for these things,

knowing that we don't have to earn them or deserve them,

but instead we ask for them in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

We see at the beginning of this passage,

Jesus is on the move again.

The last time he changed locations was in chapter 9,

when he was in Capernaum.

And we're told verse 1 here,

he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan.

Now, if you're familiar with where the Sea of Galilee is

and where Jerusalem is,

you'll know at this point that Jesus is taking a journey south.

In other words, Jesus is doing what I've already told you about the Gospel of Mark.

He's heading towards Jerusalem.

Jesus is on his last journey here as he makes his way to the cross.

And as he does this, verse 2,

these Pharisees come as we've seen before,

and they test him.

Now, we talked about in the past that this word test is not a friendly word.

They are not coming with genuine questions.

They are not seeking understanding.

No, instead, they want to trap Jesus.

In fact, there's two ways that they can trap him here.

First, they are pulling him into this intramural Jewish debate

about Deuteronomy chapter 24.

Deuteronomy 24 · chapter mention

Deuteronomy chapter 24 lays out conditions for divorce,

Deuteronomy 24 · chapter mention

and it says you can divorce if there is anything indecent.

Now, there were two camps to translating that phrase.

One camp of rabbis believed anything indecent only referred to sexual unfaithfulness.

Another camp interpreted it as almost anything.

And so there was a strict camp,

and only if there's sexual unfaithfulness,

and there was sort of this no-fault divorce camp.

So they're pulling Jesus into this debate to try to get him to weigh in.

The other way they're potentially trying to trap him

is that Jesus is now back in Herod's territory.

Remember what Herod did back in chapter 6.

He beheaded John the Baptist for opposing his marriage.

And you'll recall that John the Baptist had married Herod,

had married Herodias, his brother's wife.

What did she have to do to marry him?

She had to divorce her brother.

And so potentially the hope is we will get Jesus on the record against this.

Herod took care of John the Baptist.

Herod can take care of Jesus for us.

They have set this up.

They're hoping here that Jesus is in a lose-lose situation.

As he always does, though, Jesus turns the tables on them.

And in verse 3, he says,

How about you answer your own question?

You tell me what Moses said.

In fact, he uses this word, what Moses commanded.

He's poking them because they have to admit the next verse

that Moses didn't command anything.

Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce

and send her away.

Jesus explains for them,

Okay, yeah, that's true that Moses allowed this.

Why did he do it?

Verse 5,

Because of your hardness of heart.

Jesus doesn't take sides in this debate.

He just says,

Look, what Moses did was not condoning or allowing divorce.

He was looking at a troubling situation

and choosing what some called the lesser of two evils.

And so he doesn't resolve this debate for us.

Is Deuteronomy talking about adultery

or is it talking about simply protecting a woman

who is in a vulnerable situation,

who's being divorced for a frivolous reason?

Either way, Jesus' point is clear.

Hardness of heart is not a good thing.

Your focus is entirely on the wrong place.

You are asking about how and when

and whether you can get divorced.

And instead, you should be focused

on the beauty and glory of marriage.

You should be focused not on how you can get out,

but how you can stay in.

Now, I just want to note for a minute

as we think about the Bible's teaching on divorce,

this is one of many passages.

And as we take all of those passages together,

the church is in agreement for the most part

that there are three categories of biblical divorce.

In other words, divorce that is not against God's law.

The first one is clear, adultery.

This was at least what Deuteronomy 24 was talking about.

Okay, so sexual unfaithfulness

is a biblical category of divorce.

The apostle Paul teaches us in 1 Corinthians 7,

there's another category, the category of abandonment.

He says if one spouse leaves another,

the one who is left, the one who is abandoned,

is free to move on.

They're free to get married again.

And the third category is the category of abuse.

Now, we don't have a specific biblical text

that talks about abuse in marriage,

but biblical scholars have considered abuse

to be a form of abandonment.

It's a subcategory of abandonment.

And so those are three categories

as we think about a biblical divorce.

We have adultery, abandonment, and abuse.

And this is one of many passages

that we pull together and look at

to come to this conclusion.

But Jesus here is actually not interested

in talking about reasons or pathways for divorce.

What he says here is, look,

you want to talk about divorce,

but we actually need to back up.

What I want to talk about is what is marriage.

Divorce is not going to make any sense.

I cannot answer your question.

We can't get to the heart of the matter

until we get to the foundation of the matter.

What is it that we're actually talking about?

And as we'll see, Jesus teaching about divorce

only makes sense because of,

in light of his teaching on marriage.

And so we are also going to back up

and stop talking about divorce for a minute

and just talk about marriage

because that's what Jesus teaches about here

in verses six through nine.

First, in verse six,

it's interesting that Jesus does not start

with the institution of marriage

in the book of Genesis.

He actually backs up and talks about the fact

that God has created man, male, and female.

Now we might gloss over that in an earlier time period

right here in America in 2022.

This is a reminder for us that marriage is between

and marriage is only between a man and a woman.

Amen.

And that is not arbitrary, okay?

That is not something that God flipped a coin and said,

you know, there's no real reason behind this.

I'm just going to make a judgment call.

No, there is a deep logic that's behind the fact

that marriage is between a man and a woman.

There's this oneness that Jesus is going to talk about

later in the passage.

He says they become one flesh.

That one flesh requires there to be some mission,

some purpose, some trajectory

beyond and outside of that marriage.

Full and true oneness means you're pointing

to something beyond yourselves.

That's why marriages are public ceremonies, typically.

That's why we don't treat them like you would treat

signing a loan on a mortgage

because they are a public relationship.

Another way of putting it would be this.

Unity and oneness must be about more than pleasure

and self-fulfillment.

And yes, that's the narrative that our culture tells us

about any kind of marriage these days,

that it is mostly about you.

It is only, in other words,

a heterosexual union that fully points to something

beyond itself and outside of itself.

This is a simple logic.

It is rooted not in bigotry,

but in biology.

Only heterosexual couples have the potential for children.

This does not mean you must have children

for your marriage to point outside of that.

It does mean there is something intrinsic

to a man and a woman coming together in marriage

in a sexual union that points to a mission

and a purpose beyond themselves,

whether they are kids or not.

Now, I wish I could spend more time on verse six.

That is a brief summary.

If you look with me on page seven,

I've given you a brief summary of chapters one and two

from this book called What is Marriage?

And I have a quote there from it.

If you want to dig into the logic and the argument

behind why marriage is only between one man and one woman,

that is the resource I would point you to.

And they say this,

And then, drawing here, echoing Jesus' statement,

we see this,

The vision of marriage is about a comprehensive union

of sexually complementary spouses,

that is a man and a woman,

where a man and a woman unite as a husband and wife

to then provide children with a mother and a father.

Verse six,

When we're looking to understand marriage,

when we're looking to capture the vision

of what God imagined at the beginning,

we begin by understanding

that it is between a man and a woman.

Okay, so I'm going to put a pause there.

I realize that's the beginning of a conversation,

not the end.

That might raise more questions

than it answers for some of you,

and I'm happy to talk more about that.

Okay?

We'll move on here, though,

because after laying that foundation,

Jesus then tells us,

verses seven and eight,

that not only is this rooted in sexual complementarity,

it is also what he refers to as one flesh.

A man shall leave his father and mother

and hold fast to his wife,

and the two shall become one flesh.

So they are no longer two,

but one flesh.

You know, if you've been with us for a while,

that if the Bible wants to underline

and highlight something,

it repeats it.

When you are married to someone,

there is a sense in which two people become one.

This is certainly much more,

speaking about much more than the sexual union

between a husband and a wife.

It is not speaking about less than that.

Okay?

It is definitely speaking about more

than just what happens sexually

between a husband and a wife.

It is not speaking about less than that, though.

And so I want to pause here for a minute

and talk about what it means

when a man and a woman come together in sex,

when a husband and a wife enjoy one another.

There is something about the nature

and reality of sex

that makes two people one.

And it is more than physical.

There is something about the reality

and nature of sex

that makes two people one.

It is more than physical.

There is something spiritual going on.

There is something emotional that's happening.

There is something there

that is greater than the sum of its parts.

And that thing that happens

that we don't fully have language for

that's greater than the sum of its parts,

it is not just in the moment.

It is afterwards, too.

When a man and a woman sleep together,

it changes something fundamental

between the two of them moving forward.

In other words,

there is no such thing as casual sex.

There is no such thing as casual sex.

I invite you to look with me

at verse eight of your worship guide,

which explains this better than I can.

There's this quote

that I mentioned to you all a couple years ago

from Cameron Diaz

is in Vanilla Sky with Tom Cruise,

and she's playing this woman named Julie,

and she's yelling at Tom in the car

as they're driving

because she's so frustrated with him.

By the way,

I do not recommend that movie.

If you watch it,

do not come back and complain to me, okay?

But she says this,

don't you know

that when you sleep with someone,

your body makes a promise

whether you do or not?

There is something about sex

that draws two people together

and makes them one,

then and moving forward.

When you have sex with someone,

you are saying physically

what your marriage vows say verbally.

You are saying physically

what your marriage vows say verbally,

and you are saying that

whether you want to or not.

When Cameron Diaz confronts Tom Cruise,

what she's saying is,

you have done more than you realize.

You don't realize the promises

that you made to me

when we slept together.

One theologian puts it like this.

This is the next quote.

The essential moral problem

with sex outside of marriage

is that it performs

a life-uniting act

without a life-uniting intent,

thus violating its intrinsic meaning.

There's no better definition

than I can find

for what happens

between a man and a woman.

It's that their lives

are united then

and moving forward.

When you sleep with someone,

you are saying,

I will never leave you

nor forsake you.

You are saying to them

whether you want to or not,

I will be with you

in sickness and in health.

You are saying,

whether you realize it or not,

I'm committed to you

for richer or for poorer.

It is a life-uniting act

with life-uniting power.

You make promises,

your body makes promises

whether you do or not.

Finally, Jesus tells us here

in verse nine,

what therefore God has joined together,

let not man separate.

In other words,

this is not just some sort

of private arrangement

that you have put together,

but that marriage happens

in the presence of God.

Every time I officiate a wedding,

there are two sets of vows.

The first set of vows,

I say,

you're going to make these vows

before God

and these witnesses.

Because marriage

is a public relationship.

And it's after that

that they make vows

to each other.

Marriage is not a private event.

Marriage is not

a private relationship.

There is a third party

involved in the vows

that happen,

the marriages in our church.

That party is God.

Spouses make promises

to one another.

They also make promises

to the creator

of the universe.

That's what marriage is.

I want you to think about it

in this way.

There are some things

that are so powerful

that they are reserved

for very special,

specific situations.

One example,

there are some weapons

that you will not use

for home defense.

Why?

They're too powerful.

The last thing you want

is a bullet

going through four doors

into your neighbor's house.

Right?

You're going to end up

hitting someone

who's innocent.

If you're going to use

a nuclear bomb,

you don't use it

unless you really want

to obliterate something.

Right?

It's too powerful

for anything else.

Do not use sex

unless you want

to permanently

and exclusively

join two lives.

It is too powerful

for anything else.

Do not use sex

unless you want

to exclusively

and permanently

join two lives.

It is too powerful

for anything else.

This is not because

we hate sex.

It's not because

we're afraid of it.

It's not because

we're old-fashioned.

It's because we recognize

its true nature.

We understand

and realize

how powerful

it actually is.

We recognize

God's goodness.

God says,

look, let me give you

this amazing tool.

It's going to be better

than anything

you've ever experienced

before

and it's going

to glue

two people together.

So, wow,

be careful with it.

It's great.

It's wonderful.

It's powerful.

Also,

be careful

how you use it.

And so,

for our young adults,

our youth,

I want you to

especially hear me.

You can believe

in gravity

or you cannot

believe in gravity.

If you jump off

a building,

you're going to

hurt yourself.

You can believe

what I've just told you

or you cannot

believe it.

You can learn

the easy way

or the hard way.

please learn

the easy way.

Either way,

sex without

vows

is taking

a great risk.

Sex without

vows

is jumping

off a building.

Only vows

make sex

safe.

Okay?

Remember,

John 8,

44

tells us about

the devil.

He's a liar

and the father

of lies.

What our culture

wants you to believe

right now

is that sex

is not a big deal.

What the Bible

teaches us

is that it is

an amazing,

big,

powerful deal.

Use it.

Be careful

where you aim it.

Now,

I mentioned before

it's certainly

more than sex.

It's not less

than that,

but it is

more than that.

And so,

having discussed

that one flesh

unity,

it's important

to recognize

that it is

what one of the

quotes I read

you called

a comprehensive

union.

That when you're

married to someone,

the way in which

you become one flesh,

yes,

it's inseparable

from your sexual

relationship

and it includes

everything else.

It means that you're

one financially.

It means that you're

one in where you live.

It means that you're

one emotionally.

There is a package

deal that goes

with marriage.

You are united

to this person

in every way.

There's a reason

why in our vows

we talk about

forsaking all others.

And so,

it's this background,

this meaning,

this power to marriage

that Jesus has to

lay the foundation

before,

before he jumps

back into the discussion

about divorce.

Look,

first thing you need

to know about marriage,

it takes two people

and it makes them

as if they're one.

It takes two people

and it makes them

as if they're one.

And so,

you're asking the wrong

question.

You have the wrong

vision here.

Your focus should not

be on when you can

divorce.

Know that marriage

is much greater

and more powerful

than you realize.

Let your focus

be on the beauty

of marriage

and how you can

stay together.

You are one person

now.

Do not separate.

You're one person.

Do not separate.

Okay,

it's with all

of that background,

Jesus lays out

the vision for marriage

that we can jump

back in now

and talk about

divorce.

Verse 9,

he says this,

what therefore

God has joined

together,

let not man

separate.

And then,

he says this

interesting thing

in verses 11 and 12,

whoever divorces

his wife and marries

another commits

adultery against her.

And if she divorces

her husband and marries

another,

she commits adultery.

Now,

that,

at first glance,

doesn't really make sense.

How can you commit

adultery when you're

not married anymore?

Adultery,

by definition,

requires marriage.

What Jesus is saying

is this,

even if you're

separated on paper,

you can't just

undo your

one flesh union.

Even if you're

separated on paper,

you can't undo

this one flesh

reality that's

happened between

the two of you.

Paper

can't take a person

and cut them in half.

Paper can't take

a person

and cut them in half.

There is a sense

in which you are

still connected together

because that oneness

is so intense

and comprehensive.

You are not

business partners

who have parted ways.

You are one body

that has been

ripped in half.

You're not business partners

who have just

simply parted ways.

When divorce happens,

you are one body

that is ripped

in half.

Now,

that may sound

harsh to say out loud,

but the reality is

if you

have been

divorced,

you know

those words

are perhaps

not strong

enough.

If you've

experienced divorce,

what I'm telling you

is something

that you

already

know.

You already

know that it's

one of the most

traumatic

and painful

things

that could

ever

happen to

someone.

And so,

I'm simply

giving language

for what it is

that you have

already

experienced.

This simply

explains

what we already

know from reality,

explains why

it is so

devastating

and painful.

Jesus is

outlining the logic

for us

so that it

finally makes

sense.

In other words,

this is not,

Jesus' words

are not

what's

painful.

Jesus'

words

describe

and help

us

understand

the pain

of what

is going

on.

If you've

experienced

divorce,

if you've

walked with

your child

through divorce,

if your

parents were

divorced,

you know

this is

true.

You don't

need me

to tell

you.

And so,

that helps

us understand

Jesus'

words here.

It helps

us understand

God's words

in the book

of Malachi.

It says,

God hates

divorce.

I had a

mentor

who was

divorced

and is

in a mixed

marriage now

and he told

me,

he's a

pastor,

he said,

Matthew,

before I

got divorced

and I

thought about

those words,

God hates

divorce,

I thought

about it

in terms

of God's

holiness

and his

law.

And that's

true,

but now

that I have

been divorced,

I know

why God

hates

divorce.

He hates

it because

it's so

devastating.

He hates

it because

of the

wreckage

that it

causes.

And so,

in the midst

of this,

that's the

glimmer of

God's love.

Jesus'

warning here,

God's

teaching in

the Bible

is not

out of

cruelty

or anger,

it's not

because God

is mean,

it's because

God knows

how painful

it is.

He wants

to spare

you.

He wants

to protect

you.

Now,

you might

be wondering

why we

haven't

talked about

Ephesians 5

and the

fact that

marriage

pictures the

gospel.

It does.

Talk about

that.

The challenge

before us

this morning

is simply

that that's

not the

thrust of

this passage.

So,

when we

get to

Ephesians 5,

we'll talk

about that.

We're in

Mark 10,

and Jesus'

argument here

in Mark 10

is one

based on

the one

flesh

reality.

We're going

to focus

on that

together

this morning.

I'll give

you a few

applications

as we're

here together.

First,

we need to

know that

we live

in a

society

of self

fulfillment

and we

follow a

savior of

self

sacrifice.

We live

in a

society of

self

fulfillment

and we

follow a

savior of

self

sacrifice.

In other

words,

the vision

that our

culture has

for marriage

is completely

wrong.

self

fulfillment

gives us

these reasons

for divorce

that make

no sense

in light

of the

one

flesh

union.

Self

fulfillment

looks for

the first

way out

when happiness

is declining

or when needs

aren't being

met.

Self

sacrifice

looks for

a way to

serve and

meet the

needs of

others.

Shine

Mountain,

I want to

tell you

three things

about our

marriages here

together this

morning.

First of

all,

don't go

it alone.

Please get

help sooner

rather than

later.

If you are

struggling in

your marriage,

please talk

to someone.

It is not

a badge of

honor.

It is not

something to be

proud of that

you've never

been to marriage

counseling.

Okay?

Remember,

we've talked

about over and

over in the

gospel of Mark,

need is the

price of

admission.

All of us

are broken

and need

help.

All of us

face

challenges

and sin

in our

lives.

Divorce

is one of

the hardest

things that

someone can

experience in

this world.

If you don't

believe that,

you've never

been divorced.

Do not

go it

alone.

Do not

walk by

yourself.

second,

don't believe

the lies

that our

culture tells

us.

There's a

genre of

movie and

novel right

now that's

been affectionately

or pejoratively

titled divorce

porn.

The most

clear example

is Eat,

Pray,

Love,

the movie

with Julia

Ross,

which presents

divorce as

this wonderful,

beautiful thing

where if you do

it, you get to

go visit Italy

and meet a man

who's a

10.

Brothers and

sisters,

you're harder

to live with

than you

realize,

and you

ain't a

10.

Okay?

It's a

believable

myth.

Do not

believe,

eat,

pray,

love.

That is

not the

reality of

divorce.

Okay?

Finally,

be careful

who you

marry.

Hormones

in the

Holy Spirit

are both

real.

They are

not the

same.

Marriage

is a

very,

very

serious

commitment.

Can't get

out of

marriage

lightly?

Don't go

into marriage

lightly.

It takes

time for

someone's

character to

reveal itself.

It takes

time for

you to

finally

understand,

oh,

he has a

real problem

with anger.

That doesn't

show up on

the first

date.

Okay?

Trust me.

It takes

time to

realize,

oh,

this person's

emotionally

unstable.

Okay?

That may

not show

up in

month one.

Be

careful

who you

marry.

People

can hide

things for

a time.

They

cannot hide

them

forever.

forever.

Take

time.

Know.

Know who

you're

marrying.

Okay?

Know what

you're getting

into.

Don't go

it alone.

Don't believe

divorce porn.

Be careful

who you

marry.

What does

this all

have to do

with the

gospel?

Well,

part of what

the gospel

tells us is

that God is

coming to

restore this

world.

And so

when Jesus

presents us

this great

vision of

what marriage

is meant to

be,

saying,

look,

let's get

back to

the way

God

intended it.

Let's

not try to

focus on

these

exceptions.

Let's

go back

to

restoring

this

world.

Marriage

is not

easy.

It

actually

turns out

it's

really

hard for

men and

women to

try to

figure out

how to

get along

with

each

other.

Jesus'

commitment

empowers

our

commitment.

Jesus'

commitment

empowers

our

commitment.

We look

to Jesus'

model and

love for

us so

that we

can give

that love

to others.

I'm

stealing

this from

another

pastor,

but he

says marriage

is two

ticks and

no dog.

You have

to find the

source of

your love

somewhere

outside of

your marriage.

That

source is

God's

love

for

you.

Finally,

it's

Jesus'

death

that

covers

our

failures.

In

Matthew

chapter

one,

we find

that

about

Jesus'

genealogy,

all the

people

who've

come

before

him

that

lead

to

Jesus'

birth.

And

you know

what?

Jesus

comes

from a

long

line

of

people

who

messed

up

marriage.

Jesus

comes

from

Jacob

who

was

a

polygamist.

Jesus

comes

from

Tamar

who

pretended

to be

a

prostitute.

Jesus

comes

from

David,

King

David,

who

committed

adultery.

Jesus

came

from

Solomon

whose

many

wives

led

him

astray.

Which

reminds

us of

this.

Your

hope

this

morning

as you

leave

is not

that your

marriage

would be

perfect.

your

hope

this

morning

as you

leave

is not

that your

past

has no

mistakes

and

failures

in it.

Your

hope

this

morning

is

Jesus.

Jesus

is the

one who

lays out

the

standard

for

marriage.

He's

the

one

whose

lineage

includes

many

people

who

messed

up

their

marriages.

Jesus

is the

one

who

dies

to

cover

the

sins

of

our

failures

and

our

mistakes.

As

long

as

you

are

breathing

and

alive

in

this

world

your

story

is

not

over.

Jesus

is

with

you

and

for

you.

And

so

that's

our

hope

that

we're

going

to

sing

together

on

page

eight.

Jesus

is

a

friend

for

sinners.

We're

told

the

first

verse

Jesus

makes

us

whole.

Jesus

is

our

comfort.

He

helps

our

soul.

And

no

matter

what

our

story

includes

we

know

that

we

are

his

and

he

is

ours.

So

we're

going to

sing

that.

Let's

pray

together

first.

Our

Father

in

heaven

we

praise

you

and

thank

you

for

your

word

even

when

it's

hard

and

challenging.

I

do

ask

for

your

comfort

for

your

sons

and

daughters

here

this

morning.

As no

doubt

painful

memories

and

experiences

have been

stirred up

I ask

that you

would

remind

them

that you

are

their

good

shepherd

that

you're

with

them

that

others

may

have

left

them

or

forsaken

them

but

you

don't

and

you

won't

and

that

your

grace

and

your

forgiveness

are

real

that

our

hope

is

not

that

we

would

have

perfect

marriages

but

our

hope

is

in

you.

I invite

you to

stand

for our

closing

hymn.