Sermon

Ephesians 5:22-33

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  1. Please join me in taking your copy of God's Word and turning to Ephesians chapter 5.

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  2. ! This morning is going to be abnormal for us.

  3. ! If you're a guest this morning, I'm sorry.

  4. On the one hand, I really would love for you to be here with us for our normal verse-by-verse

  5. exposition, the general habit of our church. On the other, maybe it's good for you to see

  6. that as a church we take the Scripture seriously and what it teaches seriously, even when it

  7. comes to topics of Christian living. We, as a church, endeavor to walk in all things

  8. in the truth. Over the past, I don't want to admit how many years, the issue of marriage,

  9. divorce, and remarriage has come up in our verse-by-verse expedition, that as well, exposition,

  10. as we work through the Gospel of Mark, and then more recently through the Sermon on the

  11. Mount in Matthew. And each of those times, I have said to you, you'll recall if you were

  12. here, that this is not an easy matter to sort through. In fact, it has been a centuries-old

  13. debate on exactly what is the teaching of the Bible concerning particularly divorce and remarriage.

  14. If you find yourself in a place this morning, believing that you have it already sorted out,

  15. let me just invite you into a place of humility. It's most likely that you have not yet read enough

  16. concerning these matters, that you've not really studied it fully, if you have a

  17. abounding confidence in the position that you may hold. I know that many of you don't really know

  18. exactly what to think, and this is where I found myself in some past years. Recently, comforted by

  19. all of the position papers that I managed to find and pull and read, that the shortest amount of time

  20. any church took in forming a position was a year, and many of them took much longer in careful study

  21. over the matter. No matter the position we take concerning divorce and remarriage, we have to

  22. extrapolate, we have to draw out some meaning, because the Bible is an ancient book. It wasn't

  23. written in our language, and it wasn't written to our cultural context. So there's some challenges

  24. sometimes fully grasping the meaning of a text, right? Ringing it out, and then having it harmonized

  25. with the rest of what the Bible has to say. And this has been my labor over the past months.

  26. I've picked it up. I've gotten so exasperated that I've put it back down. I've picked it up again,

  27. because I knew that I had to. I have never in the past 10 years of being a pastor prayed for snow.

  28. I must admit that I did this week, and yet we find ourselves here.

  29. I have read and read and read. I have taken all of the pertinent texts and put them up on a large

  30. board so I could look at it all together and scribbled and erased and tore down and put back up again.

  31. I've labored in writing. Students, you may

  32. connect with me on this and then highlighted whole pages and hit delete.

  33. Rewrote and deleted and rewrote again.

  34. I have sitting on my computer now as a draft a 10-page paper and growing that I had intended to

  35. give to you this morning.

  36. But as I personally have arrived at a position and

  37. looked to articulate that position,

  38. I set out first to say,

  39. I'm just going to write a paper that states the position.

  40. And then on the Sunday that we talk about it,

  41. I'll try to do my best to articulate the opposing positions and work out the complexities of the text.

  42. But beloved, it is complex.

  43. It's not a single Sunday morning working out.

  44. And I don't think it'd be great for our church to spend weeks and weeks and weeks

  45. Sunday morning gatherings on this.

  46. So we're going to do it this morning.

  47. We're going to take some time.

  48. But as I began to try to articulate the position well,

  49. it seems so often necessary to talk about other positions held.

  50. And so the paper kept growing and growing and growing.

  51. And as I would reread it, I'd go,

  52. I can't just say that.

  53. That's a jump in logic.

  54. As people read this paper,

  55. I've got to explain that more.

  56. So another paragraph and another paragraph

  57. and another paragraph would be added.

  58. So at this point, I've discarded it.

  59. I mean, it exists, but I don't intend to hand you the document that I've been writing thus far.

  60. But decided instead to distribute to you,

  61. sort of as a rough draft of a position for our church,

  62. a document that I had nothing to do with,

  63. but yet I agree with it to this date.

  64. That's a position paper that was presented to and adopted

  65. at the Presbyterian Church of America 20th General Assembly in 1992.

  66. And it's a part of a much greater work.

  67. There's some application chapters.

  68. There's some historical survey chapters

  69. as the PCA Church has a rich Reformed tradition.

  70. And what I've done is I've just pulled out chapter 2.

  71. and made a ton of copies of it

  72. and stapled this hand sore

  73. to be able to put those copies in your hand this morning

  74. so that we can talk further about this.

  75. So I have some guys, I think they're the same guys

  76. that took care of the offering for us.

  77. They've got some stacks.

  78. I'm going to ask them now just to go ahead

  79. and work on distributing copies of this particular paper

  80. for your further study.

  81. We're going to reference it a little bit here in just a moment,

  82. but I want you to take this home.

  83. If you're a guest this morning, you don't have to.

  84. I don't feel like you're obligated to take a copy of this and study it.

  85. If you're a member, you certainly need to.

  86. If you're a guest, you're welcome to,

  87. if you'd like to put this in your hand.

  88. I think we have enough for everybody this morning.

  89. To be clear, presently, we believe in a plurality leadership.

  90. Presently, we have one other elder, including myself.

  91. There's two of us, Doug Hitchcock.

  92. And I'm not presenting this as our position this morning

  93. because I have not given Doug Hitchcock enough time to...

  94. He didn't even know I was doing this.

  95. Now he does.

  96. Hey, Doug.

  97. Him and I have done a lot of work on this topic.

  98. I think very generally we agree.

  99. We've spent a bunch of time talking through various implications and applications.

  100. But I just want you to be aware that I'm springing this on him at this moment.

  101. So don't, if you're upset, grill him.

  102. Come to me.

  103. While you're getting this, I want to express to you just some pastoral concern.

  104. The way we approach this topic matters deeply

  105. because marriage is an extremely important institution.

  106. We'll talk more about that from Ephesians chapter 5 momentarily.

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  107. Extremely important institution.

  108. We don't want to minimize, in talking about this, the importance of marriage.

  109. But at the same time, we live in a fallen world

  110. and people have been affected by divorce and remarriage,

  111. the challenges and the messiness of marriage.

  112. And so we don't want to minimize our love and care and concern for people as well.

  113. And so there's a very careful tightrope to walk here

  114. in talking about these things that I hope you'll join me in in some coming weeks.

  115. I want to read from a pastor named Sam Storms who wrote a position paper on this.

  116. I just felt like he summarized this pastoral challenge well.

  117. So please hear my heart as we spend some time this morning around this topic this morning.

  118. He wrote,

  119. How do I stress the permanence of marriage without condemning,

  120. how do I feel judged and rejected and unfit for ministry and service in the church?

  121. But if I express compassion and love for divorced people

  122. and remind them how much God really does love them,

  123. others may think I'm glossing over their failures

  124. and that I'm contributing to the very devaluation of marriage that I earlier denounced.

  125. How do I stress the permanence of marriage without condemning the divorced?

  126. And how do I love and affirm the divorced person without condoning sin and failure?

  127. Our challenge is to mingle the call to obedience with the tears of compassion.

  128. To be both tender to those who have failed without compromising the high standards of Scripture.

  129. Here then is my two-fold appeal.

  130. Number one, to the divorce I say that my emphasis on the importance of marriage

  131. and honoring one's vows and fighting to stay together

  132. does not mean I don't love you and care about you

  133. or that you aren't wanted or can't fit in or can never be active in ministry.

  134. Second, to the married I say that my emphasis on the dignity of the divorced person

  135. and their value to God and the forgiveness and restoration that is available to them

  136. through the cross does not mean that we can take a flippant, casual attitude toward marriage

  137. or that marriage isn't worth preserving

  138. or that we are adopting a loose view toward sin.

  139. End quote.

  140. So why have I labored so long in coming to a position concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage?

  141. Why does it matter so much that we work together on getting this as right as people, this side of glory, can get it?

  142. First, marriage pictures, although so often imperfectly, the gospel of Jesus Christ.

  143. It's a shadow of a greater thing.

  144. It's meant to point us to the good that God has given to us in Jesus.

  145. Let's look at our text briefly.

  146. Again, this is an odd Sunday for us.

  147. Ephesians chapter 5 is going to serve this single point of why this matters so very, very much,

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  148. and then I'll make some further comments.

  149. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22 and following.

    Ephesians 5:22

  150. Beloved, this is God's word to us written for his glory and for our good.

  151. We would all do well to listen to it in order to believe its promises and obey its commands.

  152. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

  153. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,

  154. his body and is himself its Savior.

  155. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

  156. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

  157. that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

  158. so that he might resent the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,

  159. that she might be holy and without blemish.

  160. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

  161. He who loves his wife loves himself.

  162. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church,

  163. because we are members of his body.

  164. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,

  165. and the two shall become one flesh.

  166. This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

  167. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself,

  168. and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

  169. So we can see in this text that Paul says this profound mystery of the way that marriage is supposed to work

  170. points us to a greater, a grander thing.

  171. That Jesus Christ is the groom of the church,

  172. and he has saved her by giving of his very self for her.

  173. He laid down his life for the sake of ours.

  174. That he would save us and that he would sanctify us.

  175. Giving of himself for our good in him.

  176. This is what marriage is meant to be like,

  177. and it's what is meant to point to men sacrificially loving their wives.

  178. For their wife's good, that she would be found in Christ.

  179. That she would be found holy in him.

  180. And wives lovingly submitting to that leadership in the home.

  181. This was the design.

  182. Paul even cites for us here,

  183. Genesis chapter 2, when he says,

    Genesis 2 chapter mention

  184. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,

  185. and the two shall become one flesh.

  186. This was the design from the beginning.

  187. A man and a woman in lifelong commitment to one another.

  188. Pressing each other in holiness.

  189. That's why this matters.

  190. As sin enters into the world,

  191. just a few verses later in Genesis chapter 3,

    Genesis 3 chapter mention

  192. as sin corrupts everything,

  193. The church should be set apart.

  194. The church should say something very clearly to the culture around us

  195. about what marriage is,

  196. how it's to function,

  197. and what it's meant to picture.

  198. So the way we pick up this topic is of importance,

  199. and why I've labored so long in it.

  200. Because first, marriage pictures,

  201. although so often and perfectly,

  202. the gospel of Jesus Christ.

  203. Secondly,

  204. marriage is a good gift.

  205. Many of us in this room have experienced the goodness of marriage.

  206. Being granted a spouse that loves us and presses us on,

  207. even in their failures,

  208. press us towards holiness in Christ.

  209. And divorce,

  210. invariably,

  211. is difficult for all parties involved.

  212. Invariably.

  213. This is without exception.

  214. The rending of a union

  215. is a hurtful thing.

  216. It's a hard thing.

  217. We want to promote

  218. lifelong marriages

  219. for the good of people

  220. to the glory of God.

  221. We don't want to promote

  222. divorce

  223. because it's a harmful thing.

  224. It's a damaging thing.

  225. Third,

  226. we have had to,

  227. and will continue to have to,

  228. counsel those

  229. within our church

  230. and without,

  231. outside the doors of our church,

  232. what the Bible teaches

  233. on matters

  234. concerning

  235. marriage,

  236. divorce,

  237. and remarriage.

  238. It's a very present reality

  239. before us.

  240. We need to be clear-minded

  241. on these things.

  242. What does the Scripture

  243. teach

  244. concerning these

  245. matters?

  246. Fourth,

  247. our culture

  248. is very confused

  249. about marriage,

  250. divorce,

  251. and remarriage.

  252. All three.

  253. We have a fairly

  254. anything-goes

  255. mentality

  256. as a culture

  257. at large.

  258. Having redefined marriage

  259. altogether,

  260. accepting divorce

  261. for any reason

  262. whatsoever,

  263. those who fall in love

  264. get married,

  265. those who fall out of love

  266. get divorced.

  267. A large billboard

  268. on your way to Atlanta

  269. right now

  270. on 400

  271. that says,

  272. undo,

  273. quote-unquote,

  274. I do.

  275. And it's tragic

  276. that such a thing

  277. would be the display

  278. for this particular

  279. law firm.

  280. Many people

  281. these days

  282. go through

  283. multiple

  284. divorces

  285. and remarriages.

  286. marriages

  287. picked up

  288. as a flippant thing,

  289. a thing to not be

  290. taken seriously.

  291. Vows are meaningless

  292. in our culture

  293. these days.

  294. Fifth,

  295. the church

  296. is confused

  297. about marriage,

  298. divorce,

  299. and remarriage.

  300. The church

  301. at large

  302. is confused.

  303. We see

  304. equally high

  305. divorce rates

  306. amongst those

  307. who profess

  308. to be followers

  309. of Jesus Christ

  310. as those

  311. who don't.

  312. So there must

  313. be clarity.

  314. But not only

  315. in what we would

  316. call more

  317. conservative views,

  318. more biblical

  319. views on

  320. marriage,

  321. divorce,

  322. and remarriage,

  323. but there are

  324. many

  325. within orthodoxy

  326. opposing views.

  327. This is a

  328. centuries-old

  329. question

  330. and debate.

  331. I want to

  332. maybe even

  333. caution you

  334. to not go

  335. down the

  336. wormhole

  337. too deep

  338. on this

  339. debate.

  340. This is why

  341. I've charted

  342. and graphed

  343. and drawn

  344. out.

  345. I would

  346. annoy you

  347. to death

  348. sharing with

  349. you all

  350. of the

  351. things that

  352. I've done

  353. to try to

  354. wrap my

  355. mind around

  356. all the

  357. varying

  358. views

  359. and

  360. positions.

  361. Even within

  362. the prominent

  363. views,

  364. there are

  365. nuances of

  366. them that

  367. are hard

  368. to represent.

  369. It's difficult

  370. to say,

  371. let me tell

  372. you what

  373. this view

  374. says because

  375. I can speak

  376. to it in

  377. generalities,

  378. but the

  379. particulars

  380. can differ

  381. all the

  382. same.

  383. And so

  384. there are

  385. three positions

  386. worth

  387. considering

  388. broadly,

  389. and I want

  390. to point

  391. your attention

  392. to the

  393. second page

  394. of this

  395. document that

  396. was handed

  397. out.

  398. Which

  399. outlines

  400. those for

  401. you?

  402. So it

  403. would be

  404. marked as

  405. page 203.

  406. About two

  407. thirds down

  408. the page,

  409. it says

  410. number one,

  411. no divorce,

  412. no remarriage.

  413. That's where I'm

  414. drawing your

  415. attention to.

  416. Those are

  417. three positions

  418. worth considering.

  419. There's

  420. another,

  421. although there's

  422. variances in it

  423. enough that

  424. some might

  425. call it

  426. more,

  427. but I'll

  428. call it a

  429. fourth view,

  430. which is

  431. basically an

  432. anything-goes

  433. type of view,

  434. which we

  435. won't even

  436. consider.

  437. The Bible

  438. does have

  439. things to

  440. say about

  441. marriage,

  442. divorce,

  443. and remarriage.

  444. We can't

  445. just define it

  446. for ourselves

  447. and treat it

  448. however we

  449. would like.

  450. So call that

  451. the fourth

  452. view and

  453. look with me

  454. for just a

  455. bit at

  456. three positions

  457. worth

  458. considering.

  459. So the

  460. first one is

  461. the no

  462. divorce,

  463. no remarriage

  464. view.

  465. This is

  466. very commonly

  467. called the

  468. permanence

  469. view.

  470. It's the

  471. only view

  472. that has

  473. an agreed

  474. upon name.

  475. So if you

  476. hear permanence,

  477. this is what's

  478. being talked

  479. about.

  480. Again,

  481. there are

  482. nuances

  483. within it,

  484. but permanence

  485. folks would

  486. say that

  487. there is

  488. no reason

  489. for,

  490. biblically

  491. allowable

  492. reason for

  493. divorce and

  494. no biblically

  495. allowable

  496. reason for

  497. remarriage

  498. if somebody

  499. has been

  500. sinfully

  501. divorced.

  502. And there

  503. are many

  504. orthodox

  505. people that

  506. hold this

  507. view.

  508. Some examples

  509. in our day

  510. are Votie

  511. Bauckham

  512. and John

  513. Piper.

  514. There's not

  515. a lot of

  516. writing,

  517. but I have

  518. some writing

  519. on this

  520. particular

  521. view.

  522. It's a

  523. lesser held

  524. view in

  525. what we

  526. would consider

  527. orthodox

  528. Christian

  529. belief.

  530. I think

  531. there are

  532. some people

  533. in our

  534. fellowship

  535. that hold

  536. this view

  537. and there

  538. are some

  539. great arguments

  540. to be

  541. made for

  542. it.

  543. Second,

  544. and this

  545. paper develops

  546. some of

  547. those

  548. arguments.

  549. The second

  550. view,

  551. and this

  552. is the

  553. view put

  554. forth in

  555. this paper

  556. and that

  557. I would

  558. put forth

  559. to you

  560. this morning,

  561. which we'll

  562. talk about

  563. generally,

  564. strictly

  565. limited

  566. grounds

  567. for divorce

  568. and for

  569. remarriage.

  570. I have

  571. deemed

  572. this,

  573. me by

  574. myself,

  575. nobody

  576. else has,

  577. but by

  578. myself I

  579. call this

  580. the less

  581. permissive

  582. view.

  583. So permissive

  584. would say

  585. that there

  586. are some

  587. allowable

  588. times and

  589. purposes,

  590. reasons,

  591. but it's

  592. not a

  593. broad

  594. sense.

  595. It's a

  596. lesser

  597. sense of

  598. permissive.

  599. See the

  600. first

  601. couple

  602. sentences

  603. there.

  604. a general

  605. consensus

  606. among

  607. reformed

  608. believers

  609. is the

  610. view that

  611. the Bible

  612. neither

  613. condones

  614. nor

  615. commands

  616. divorce,

  617. but rather

  618. permits and

  619. regulates

  620. divorce due

  621. to sin.

  622. So it's

  623. not the

  624. high ideal,

  625. it's not

  626. the thing

  627. that we're

  628. counseling

  629. toward ever,

  630. it's not

  631. the thing

  632. we want

  633. to see

  634. happen,

  635. so the

  636. scripture

  637. doesn't

  638. command it,

  639. the scripture

  640. does not

  641. condone it,

  642. but rather

  643. permits and

  644. regulates it.

  645. However,

  646. a person

  647. can divorce

  648. only for

  649. adultery and

  650. separation of

  651. an unbelieving

  652. spouse.

  653. There's some

  654. specific

  655. circumstances

  656. in which

  657. someone can

  658. be divorced

  659. and the

  660. question of

  661. remarriage

  662. arises later

  663. as a result.

  664. Prominent

  665. people who

  666. interestingly

  667. all their

  668. names start

  669. with a J,

  670. John

  671. MacArthur,

  672. J Adams,

  673. the late

  674. John

  675. Murray,

  676. Jim

  677. Neuheiser,

  678. these are

  679. all people

  680. you may be

  681. familiar with

  682. that hold

  683. to this

  684. view.

  685. Once again,

  686. with variance

  687. and nuance

  688. in their

  689. particular

  690. holding of

  691. it,

  692. the place

  693. where my

  694. brain came

  695. to a

  696. constant

  697. screeching

  698. halt,

  699. got all

  700. knotted

  701. up,

  702. was particularly

  703. around the

  704. conversation

  705. of remarriage

  706. and there's

  707. not a

  708. massive amount

  709. of consensus

  710. concerning that

  711. matter.

  712. The last

  713. one is a

  714. broader

  715. grounds for

  716. divorce and

  717. remarriage.

  718. I've deemed

  719. this the

  720. more permissive.

  721. It's not

  722. outside that

  723. realm of

  724. anything goes

  725. kind of a

  726. mentality,

  727. but they would

  728. suggest that

  729. those two

  730. reasons given,

  731. adultery and

  732. separation of an

  733. unbelieving

  734. spouse,

  735. should be

  736. interpreted with

  737. more latitude.

  738. So they're

  739. more quick

  740. to include

  741. things like

  742. abuse in

  743. that category

  744. or not

  745. providing for

  746. and meeting

  747. the marital

  748. agreement.

  749. They would

  750. tend to

  751. work into

  752. some of

  753. that

  754. understanding.

  755. the labor

  756. in this is

  757. that we

  758. don't want

  759. to condone

  760. that which

  761. is sin.

  762. We don't

  763. want to give

  764. permission for

  765. sin.

  766. We also do

  767. not want to

  768. forbid that

  769. which is not

  770. sin.

  771. There's an

  772. error on both

  773. sides here.

  774. There's always

  775. a fine line

  776. to walk

  777. between

  778. licentiousness

  779. and

  780. legalism.

  781. We don't

  782. want to find

  783. ourselves in

  784. either

  785. place.

  786. So the

  787. position that's

  788. put forth in

  789. this paper,

  790. the position

  791. that I'm

  792. putting before

  793. you today,

  794. I believe

  795. is the most

  796. exegetically

  797. defensible,

  798. theologically

  799. sustainable,

  800. and

  801. pastorally

  802. sensible.

  803. For us as

  804. a church,

  805. it's going to

  806. be important

  807. that we

  808. say,

  809. this far,

  810. but no

  811. further.

  812. We have to

  813. say,

  814. what can we

  815. be confident

  816. the Scripture

  817. does in

  818. fact teach?

  819. I do think

  820. that allows

  821. for some

  822. narrower views.

  823. I don't mean

  824. narrow-minded,

  825. I mean just

  826. more restrictive

  827. views within

  828. that view.

  829. But we're

  830. going to have

  831. to consider

  832. what will

  833. our church

  834. call sin

  835. and what

  836. will we

  837. not?

  838. This is a

  839. challenging

  840. thing to do

  841. in this

  842. matter.

  843. Consider

  844. particularly

  845. the faithful

  846. churches

  847. that hold

  848. varied views

  849. and that

  850. people may

  851. come to

  852. us from

  853. those

  854. places

  855. and we

  856. will be

  857. asking them

  858. to recognize

  859. something as

  860. sin that

  861. they did

  862. not previously

  863. recognize as

  864. sin and may

  865. not be.

  866. Some of my

  867. insanity coming

  868. out,

  869. are you starting

  870. to go,

  871. gosh,

  872. I have been

  873. losing my

  874. mind over

  875. all of this.

  876. So here's

  877. the position

  878. summary.

  879. I know

  880. we're not

  881. opening the

  882. text.

  883. This is a

  884. weird Sunday

  885. for us.

  886. Please know

  887. that if you're

  888. a guest.

  889. The position

  890. put forth in

  891. this paper,

  892. this is my

  893. summary of

  894. that position

  895. and it's

  896. what I want

  897. you to pick

  898. up and I

  899. want you

  900. to wrestle

  901. with.

  902. Number one,

  903. marriage is

  904. the lifelong

  905. uniting of

  906. one man and

  907. one woman in

  908. covenant

  909. commitment.

  910. This is from

  911. our statement

  912. of faith.

  913. Marriage is.

  914. This is what

  915. it was intended

  916. to be.

  917. This is the

  918. point.

  919. We do

  920. premarital

  921. counseling in

  922. this way.

  923. The vows

  924. that we do

  925. when I

  926. officiate a

  927. wedding ceremony

  928. are permanence

  929. vows.

  930. We don't say

  931. do you,

  932. unless of

  933. course if.

  934. We don't

  935. include that.

  936. This is the

  937. point.

  938. This is the

  939. goal.

  940. This is what

  941. we're striving

  942. for.

  943. Lifelong

  944. uniting of

  945. one man and

  946. one woman in

  947. covenant

  948. commitment.

  949. That's number

  950. one.

  951. Number two,

  952. a believer

  953. should not

  954. marry an

  955. unbeliever.

  956. This comes

  957. into play

  958. later as we

  959. talk about

  960. remarriage.

  961. Believers

  962. should not

  963. marry an

  964. unbeliever.

  965. They should

  966. not be

  967. unequally

  968. yoked.

  969. Third,

  970. a believer

  971. should remain

  972. married to

  973. an unbeliever

  974. if the

  975. unbeliever is

  976. willing to

  977. remain married.

  978. Somebody

  979. converted to

  980. faith in

  981. Christ should

  982. not divorce

  983. their

  984. unbelieving

  985. spouse if the

  986. spouse is

  987. willing to

  988. remain in

  989. the marriage.

  990. Fourth,

  991. divorce always

  992. stems from

  993. sin,

  994. but in

  995. some cases

  996. is not

  997. sinful for

  998. one of the

  999. parties of

  1000. the divorce.

  1001. Divorce always

  1002. stems from

  1003. sin, but in

  1004. some cases

  1005. is not

  1006. sinful.

  1007. The Bible

  1008. never commands

  1009. divorce.

  1010. It doesn't

  1011. condone it,

  1012. but it does

  1013. not condemn

  1014. divorce in

  1015. two cases.

  1016. when a

  1017. spouse is

  1018. sexually

  1019. unfaithful.

  1020. Secondly,

  1021. when an

  1022. unbelieving

  1023. spouse

  1024. abandons

  1025. a believing

  1026. spouse.

  1027. And there

  1028. are particulars

  1029. and there

  1030. are intricacies

  1031. even in

  1032. those two

  1033. exceptions.

  1034. Fifth,

  1035. because death

  1036. breaks the

  1037. marriage bond,

  1038. remarriage is

  1039. allowed for

  1040. the surviving

  1041. spouse.

  1042. And sixth,

  1043. and you're

  1044. going to hate

  1045. this one because

  1046. it's the

  1047. broadest one I'm

  1048. going to give

  1049. you this

  1050. morning.

  1051. The paper

  1052. speaks more

  1053. to this.

  1054. In some

  1055. cases,

  1056. remarriage is

  1057. allowed for

  1058. divorced people

  1059. with surviving

  1060. ex-spouses.

  1061. In some

  1062. cases,

  1063. remarriage is

  1064. allowed for

  1065. divorced people

  1066. with surviving

  1067. ex-spouses.

  1068. I want you to

  1069. read carefully

  1070. through that

  1071. section.

  1072. It's the very

  1073. end of this

  1074. paper.

  1075. And give

  1076. it prayerful

  1077. thought and

  1078. consideration.

  1079. So, I

  1080. know that's

  1081. probably really

  1082. unsatisfying for

  1083. you.

  1084. Know that

  1085. everything I'm

  1086. saying is

  1087. accompanied by

  1088. a 28-page

  1089. document that I

  1090. want you to

  1091. read and dig

  1092. into and give

  1093. lots of

  1094. thought.

  1095. Prayerfully

  1096. consider it.

  1097. Roll around.

  1098. Have lots of

  1099. conversations about

  1100. this.

  1101. I'm available

  1102. most of the

  1103. time to talk

  1104. about it.

  1105. My only rule

  1106. is not today.

  1107. I don't want

  1108. to talk about

  1109. divorce and

  1110. remarriage today.

  1111. So, I

  1112. promise I will

  1113. shut you down

  1114. if you come up

  1115. to me after the

  1116. service and want

  1117. to talk about

  1118. it.

  1119. But other

  1120. times, after

  1121. today, I'm

  1122. here with you

  1123. and I want to

  1124. walk through it

  1125. and I want to

  1126. pursue the

  1127. truth together.

  1128. And so, let me

  1129. just say some

  1130. things to you about

  1131. how we should

  1132. continue in this

  1133. process and then

  1134. we're going to

  1135. talk about the

  1136. gospel again a

  1137. little bit and

  1138. then we're going

  1139. to sing some

  1140. great songs

  1141. together and

  1142. press on with

  1143. our day.

  1144. So, as we,

  1145. it's been my

  1146. labor, I'm

  1147. inviting you into

  1148. that now as

  1149. well.

  1150. Number one, let's

  1151. be congregational.

  1152. We are a

  1153. congregational

  1154. church.

  1155. That means that

  1156. people who are

  1157. members of this

  1158. fellowship are

  1159. responsible for

  1160. the doctrine of

  1161. this church.

  1162. That means you

  1163. play a part in

  1164. that.

  1165. And the elders

  1166. of your church

  1167. should and we

  1168. want to give you

  1169. leadership in

  1170. that.

  1171. We want to get

  1172. out ahead of

  1173. you and do

  1174. hard work and

  1175. present things

  1176. and teach you

  1177. what the

  1178. scripture says,

  1179. but you are

  1180. responsible for

  1181. what our church

  1182. decides, where

  1183. we decide to

  1184. stand on this

  1185. particular issue.

  1186. And you should

  1187. not do that

  1188. when you show up

  1189. to a meeting

  1190. and suddenly you

  1191. have questions

  1192. and suddenly you

  1193. have an opinion

  1194. and a thought.

  1195. Do the work.

  1196. Get in there

  1197. and work it

  1198. through if you

  1199. want a voice

  1200. and you want to

  1201. speak and be

  1202. part of the

  1203. process.

  1204. Be congregational.

  1205. That doesn't

  1206. just mean show

  1207. up to a

  1208. meeting and

  1209. vote.

  1210. That means

  1211. pick up the

  1212. challenge.

  1213. Take up the

  1214. work of working

  1215. it through.

  1216. I have got

  1217. endless resources

  1218. I could give

  1219. you.

  1220. There are many

  1221. of them cited

  1222. in this particular

  1223. paper as well.

  1224. You may need

  1225. to pick up a

  1226. read and work

  1227. it through and

  1228. read it.

  1229. So be

  1230. congregational in

  1231. the broad

  1232. sense all the

  1233. time as we're

  1234. working this out

  1235. together.

  1236. together.

  1237. Secondly, let's

  1238. give the Bible

  1239. the final say.

  1240. And what I

  1241. mean by that

  1242. is try to

  1243. set aside your

  1244. prejudices as

  1245. you come to

  1246. the text,

  1247. which we all

  1248. have around

  1249. so many

  1250. issues.

  1251. But almost

  1252. all of us

  1253. have been

  1254. affected by

  1255. divorce in

  1256. some way in

  1257. our life.

  1258. We have

  1259. emotion that

  1260. we bring to

  1261. the text.

  1262. We want to

  1263. see a certain

  1264. outcome.

  1265. We would

  1266. prefer it to

  1267. say a

  1268. particular thing

  1269. to justify a

  1270. particular action

  1271. that's happened

  1272. in the past

  1273. or to condemn

  1274. a particular

  1275. action that's

  1276. happened in

  1277. the past.

  1278. So prayerfully

  1279. labor to set

  1280. aside those

  1281. things.

  1282. Come to the

  1283. text honestly.

  1284. What does the

  1285. scripture teach

  1286. on this?

  1287. Be prepared

  1288. that it is

  1289. not abundantly

  1290. clear.

  1291. the most

  1292. pertinent

  1293. texts are on

  1294. the back of

  1295. your bulletin.

  1296. You may or

  1297. may not have

  1298. noticed that.

  1299. I think it's

  1300. helpful to see

  1301. them next to

  1302. each other.

  1303. To not have

  1304. to flip,

  1305. flip,

  1306. flip,

  1307. flip,

  1308. or scroll,

  1309. scroll.

  1310. I think it's

  1311. helpful to

  1312. actually be

  1313. able to look

  1314. at them

  1315. together,

  1316. compare.

  1317. These are

  1318. all from

  1319. the ESV

  1320. translations.

  1321. So I hope

  1322. that will be

  1323. a help to

  1324. you in being

  1325. able to look

  1326. at them in

  1327. this way.

  1328. But be

  1329. cautioned.

  1330. Be sure to

  1331. place your

  1332. study of

  1333. this particular

  1334. topic in

  1335. the larger

  1336. context of

  1337. God's

  1338. redemptive

  1339. story.

  1340. You have a

  1341. printed copy of

  1342. that, I hope.

  1343. If you don't,

  1344. I'll get you

  1345. one.

  1346. I didn't need

  1347. to put that

  1348. on the back

  1349. of your

  1350. bulletin,

  1351. I hope.

  1352. Try to put

  1353. this in the

  1354. larger context

  1355. of God's

  1356. redemptive

  1357. story.

  1358. Third,

  1359. let's

  1360. pursue the

  1361. truth in

  1362. love.

  1363. Let's

  1364. pursue the

  1365. truth in

  1366. love.

  1367. Let's

  1368. work together

  1369. on this.

  1370. Please know

  1371. that my

  1372. intent is

  1373. not for

  1374. our church

  1375. to hold

  1376. my view.

  1377. I don't

  1378. care if

  1379. I am

  1380. shown right.

  1381. I care that

  1382. God's shown

  1383. glorious,

  1384. that He's

  1385. given instructions

  1386. to His

  1387. people,

  1388. and that we

  1389. would follow

  1390. those

  1391. instructions

  1392. for our

  1393. good and

  1394. His fame,

  1395. His acclaim

  1396. in the

  1397. world.

  1398. So let's

  1399. work together

  1400. on that.

  1401. I am glad

  1402. to be

  1403. challenged,

  1404. but do so

  1405. in love.

  1406. Do so in

  1407. care and

  1408. concern.

  1409. We want to

  1410. come together

  1411. and do

  1412. this together.

  1413. Land our

  1414. finger on the

  1415. position our

  1416. church will

  1417. hold on

  1418. this.

  1419. The German

  1420. theologian,

  1421. this has been

  1422. accredited to a

  1423. lot of

  1424. people,

  1425. but it was

  1426. the German

  1427. theologian,

  1428. Rupertus

  1429. Melvinius,

  1430. probably why

  1431. people try to

  1432. accredit it to

  1433. somebody else,

  1434. said,

  1435. in essentials

  1436. unity,

  1437. in non-essentials

  1438. liberty,

  1439. in all things

  1440. charity,

  1441. and that was

  1442. the word used

  1443. for love.

  1444. In all

  1445. things

  1446. charity.

  1447. So let's

  1448. pursue the

  1449. truth in

  1450. love.

  1451. Fourth,

  1452. let's be

  1453. humble.

  1454. Let's be

  1455. humble.

  1456. God has a

  1457. way,

  1458. if we are

  1459. not already

  1460. humble,

  1461. humble

  1462. ourselves to

  1463. humble us,

  1464. and I

  1465. will be an

  1466. agent in

  1467. that process

  1468. if need

  1469. be.

  1470. I'm not

  1471. saying that I've

  1472. studied this

  1473. more,

  1474. therefore I'm

  1475. right.

  1476. I'm saying I

  1477. have studied

  1478. it,

  1479. and studied

  1480. it,

  1481. and studied

  1482. it,

  1483. therefore I'm

  1484. humble.

  1485. You will

  1486. not approach

  1487. me with an

  1488. argument I

  1489. have not

  1490. already argued

  1491. with myself.

  1492. So be

  1493. careful in

  1494. your approach.

  1495. Be humble.

  1496. Don't think

  1497. you have the

  1498. corner on the

  1499. truth.

  1500. I don't think

  1501. I do.

  1502. I'm doing

  1503. my very best

  1504. with a great

  1505. deal of

  1506. fear and

  1507. trembling to

  1508. work out what

  1509. the scripture

  1510. has to say

  1511. on these

  1512. matters.

  1513. Please approach

  1514. it the same

  1515. way.

  1516. It will

  1517. serve us all

  1518. well to do

  1519. that very

  1520. thing.

  1521. I'm not

  1522. trying to be

  1523. true.

  1524. The scripture

  1525. is true.

  1526. God be

  1527. proven true

  1528. in these

  1529. matters.

  1530. So let's

  1531. be humble.

  1532. Fifth,

  1533. let's

  1534. remember the

  1535. gospel.

  1536. And last,

  1537. let's

  1538. remember the

  1539. gospel.

  1540. We as a

  1541. people who

  1542. take the

  1543. Bible very

  1544. seriously,

  1545. praise the

  1546. Lord,

  1547. the grace

  1548. that he has

  1549. worked in

  1550. us that we

  1551. take the

  1552. Bible very

  1553. seriously,

  1554. we also

  1555. tend to

  1556. take its

  1557. commands and

  1558. find our

  1559. worth in the

  1560. keeping of

  1561. them.

  1562. To say we

  1563. are most

  1564. obedient,

  1565. therefore we

  1566. are accepted

  1567. by God.

  1568. But we

  1569. are not

  1570. accepted by

  1571. God because

  1572. of our

  1573. works.

  1574. We are

  1575. accepted by

  1576. God because

  1577. of the

  1578. completed work

  1579. of Jesus

  1580. Christ.

  1581. We would

  1582. be fools to

  1583. think that we

  1584. will always

  1585. have our

  1586. doctrine and

  1587. our practice

  1588. all lined

  1589. up.

  1590. Be a

  1591. student of

  1592. church history

  1593. and you will

  1594. find that no

  1595. generation has

  1596. done this.

  1597. They've all

  1598. had their

  1599. failings,

  1600. they've all

  1601. had their

  1602. faults.

  1603. And while

  1604. we want to

  1605. endeavor to

  1606. do it right,

  1607. we should,

  1608. oh, let us

  1609. be the first

  1610. perfect generation

  1611. that's gotten

  1612. it all right,

  1613. it's doubtful

  1614. that we will.

  1615. We will have

  1616. missed it at

  1617. some point.

  1618. So even as

  1619. we are zealous

  1620. to be obedient

  1621. to every

  1622. command of

  1623. the Bible,

  1624. let's not

  1625. forget that

  1626. the gospel of

  1627. Jesus Christ

  1628. says to us

  1629. that we're

  1630. not accepted

  1631. because we

  1632. get it all

  1633. right.

  1634. We're accepted

  1635. because Jesus

  1636. got it all

  1637. right.

  1638. He threaded

  1639. it perfectly.

  1640. He is our

  1641. righteousness.

  1642. And he

  1643. has the very

  1644. motivation for

  1645. us to want

  1646. to get it

  1647. right, to

  1648. want to be

  1649. obedient in

  1650. all things,

  1651. to strive to

  1652. honor God

  1653. with our

  1654. very living.

  1655. And so let's

  1656. not forget

  1657. that.

  1658. Let's remember

  1659. the gospel

  1660. as we work

  1661. together.

  1662. I'm going to

  1663. close in reading

  1664. to you as a

  1665. way of

  1666. reminder,

  1667. Romans chapter

    Romans 8 chapter mention

  1668. 8 and

  1669. verse 1

  1670. where Paul

  1671. said,

  1672. there is

  1673. therefore now

  1674. no condemnation

  1675. for those

  1676. who are in

  1677. Christ Jesus.

  1678. May we as a

  1679. people pick up

  1680. that promise

  1681. as we endeavor

  1682. to be obedient

  1683. to every

  1684. command of

  1685. the Bible,

  1686. particularly

  1687. in the coming

  1688. weeks as it

  1689. pertains to

  1690. marriage,

  1691. divorce,

  1692. and remarriage.

  1693. church.

  1694. Let's pray

  1695. together to

  1696. that end.