The Gospel And Your Sorrow

This morning, we're taking a one week break from our exposition of the book of Hebrews to begin what we purpose to make a periodically presented series on the gospel and counseling.

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We have much opportunity as a church of the living God to make him known in the world through the careful application of the gospel to the daily struggles of this life.

Beloved, we have chance to walk through the world differently than others, that we might be able to speak to them of the hope that we have.

This, of course, does not preclude gospel proclamation, but it should accompany it.

It should give us a platform from which to speak the gospel truth.

So today's sermon, as I very rarely do, but is entitled The Gospel and Your Sorrow.

Each of us have and will experience sorrow in some measure in this life.

Some of us have a greater propensity toward it than others, but it is inevitable that fallen people living in a fallen world will, from time to time,

feel the weightiness of the reality in which we live.

I hope two things for our time together this morning.

First, that you will have a clear understanding of your personal sorrow and be better equipped to battle for your joy.

I recognize that some of you might be feeling sorrowful even this morning.

Some of you may not.

If you are feeling sorrowful this morning, I hope this will be an aid to you.

If you're not, I hope it will be a future aid to you.

Secondly, that you will have a clear understanding of another's sorrow and be better equipped to battle for their joy.

This is why the title of the gospel and your sorrow is applicable in either case, whether you're experiencing sorrow or someone else is experiencing sorrow.

Beloved, we are instructed to love one another.

And Paul tells us in Galatians chapter six and verse two, that if we love one another, we will bear one another's burdens.

And in Romans chapter 12 and verse 15, we're instructed to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.

Romans 12 · chapter mention

Now, I know that I could fake rejoicing.

I think it's possible that I could put on the outward expression of rejoicing, although I don't think this is what Paul is instructing us to.

But I can tell you this, that for me to weep with someone who is weeping means that I am going to experience their sorrow.

I'm going to make their sorrow my sorrow because we are members of one another.

We are to take on the joy of others and we are to take on the sorrow of others.

If you are in relationship with other people and you are in any way modeling Christ likeness, you are going to be asked to give advice.

People are going to ask you for help.

They're asking you for counsel.

You should aim to give biblical answers to spiritual problems.

As a culture, we are a psychologized culture.

We have lots of influence around us telling us the way that we should go.

And too often when confronted with spiritual problems, we are quick to give the world's answers.

Out of a genuine desire to be helpful, we are quick to give answers that are not ultimately and finally helpful at all.

So we need to know how to give good counsel.

Whether you consider yourself a counselor or not, you will give counsel in your life.

So we are going to look this morning at Psalm 77.

This is a psalm of Asaph, a songwriter.

Some of my favorite psalms are psalms of Asaph.

You will find within this psalm the Hebrew phrase, Salah.

And we don't know exactly what this means.

It's widely understood to be some kind of musical direction.

Most agree it's probably meant to be a pause, an interlude.

So imagine the lyre and the harp playing for a bit in that gap.

And I'm telling you this simply to say I'm going to pause for a moment when you see that word.

Before I begin reading in verse 1, let me remind you, beloved, that this is God's word to us.

It was written for his glory and our good.

We would all do well to listen to it in order to believe its promises and obey its commands.

I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me.

In the day of my trouble, I seek the Lord.

In the night, my hand is stretched out without wearying.

My soul refuses to be comforted.

When I remember God, I moan.

When I meditate, my spirit faints.

You hold my eyelids open.

I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

I consider the days of old, the years long ago.

I said, let me remember my song in the night.

Let me meditate in my heart.

Then my spirit made a diligent search.

Will the Lord spurn forever and never again be favorable?

Has his steadfast love forever ceased?

Are his promises at an end for all time?

Has God forgotten to be gracious?

Has he in anger shut up his compassion?

Then I said, I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.

I will remember the deeds of the Lord.

Yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

I will ponder all your work and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy.

What God is great like our God?

You are the God who works wonders.

You have made known your might among the peoples.

You, with your arm, redeemed your people, the children of Jacob and Joseph.

When the waters saw you, O God.

When the waters saw you, they were afraid.

Indeed, the deep trembled.

The clouds poured out water.

The skies gave forth thunder.

Your arrows flashed on every side.

The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind.

Your lightnings lighted up the world.

The earth trembled and shook.

Your way was through the sea.

Your path through the great waters.

Yet your footprints were unseen.

You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

I would like to begin our study this morning

by helping you see the commonality of sorrow

in the life of our culture and of our church.

I will tell you this morning,

I personally struggle most with sorrow.

This is the emotion I struggle most with.

For some, they may be inclined to struggles with anxiety

or struggles with anger.

But for me, my greatest emotional struggle

is with sorrow or depression.

I emotionally find myself very often fighting for joy.

Sorrow just seems to creep up on me.

And I suddenly find myself feeling bummed out

for no particular reason whatsoever.

And I have to fight for joy.

I think because of my great desire

to see the proverbial glass filled to the very brim.

I think I have a glass.

Yep, I do have a glass.

Unplanned illustration, right?

I so want to see the glass filled to the brim,

overflowing,

that I focus far too much on the empty space.

This glass is not half empty,

but you get the point.

And I neglect altogether

all of the liquid in the glass.

Just ignore the filled portion altogether.

I'm very concerned about the space

that exists in that spot.

I think as I desire to see the kingdom of God

come to pass in the world,

I particularly feel the tensions

of why we're not in that place.

The weight of sin bears on me heavy.

I am not alone in this.

Depression is the single topic

I give the most counsel for.

Sometimes people don't know

that's what they're coming to me for counsel for,

but we find that they're finding themselves

in a particular place of sorrow.

Antidepressants, as a category of medication,

are the number one prescribed medication in America.

And I'm not currently commenting on the medication itself.

I may not have time to this morning,

but merely the rampancy of sorrow in our country.

So many people who are seeking help

because they are sad.

Many of our church heroes struggled

with what they most often called melancholy.

As you read around,

it's a deep sorrow.

It's a besetting sorrow.

It's what we would commonly call depression in our day.

From Luther to Calvin to Spurgeon.

Spurgeon once wrote,

the mind can descend far lower than the body,

for in it there are bottomless pits.

The flesh can bear only a certain number of wounds

and no more.

But the soul can bleed in 10,000 ways

and die over and over again each hour.

And he was a man that experienced great anguish

for reasons explained and for unexplained reasons.

Sorrow is more common than I think

that we would like to admit.

We've become very accustomed

to put on our Sunday best

and deal with each other

in a way that I like to call plastic.

Fake.

Because we feel a pressure to do so.

I'm really grateful that many of you now

on a Sunday morning,

when I say,

how are you doing?

You'll say,

not that great.

And of course my impulse

is that I want to help you.

And so in the past,

I haven't felt convenienced by that

because I don't have time

in that moment to help you.

But I'm so glad for the honesty.

And now if you ever say that to me,

I'll say,

well I am really glad you're here.

Good place for you to be

when you're not doing that great.

And I'll be sure to follow up with you

later.

As a church maturing,

right,

growing up as a church,

we noticed across time

that our gatherings

did not leave much space

for sorrow.

I particularly noted this

when some members of our church

lost an in utero baby,

still born.

And I preached the funeral

of that baby.

And I thought,

how do I give comfort

the following day?

That Sunday morning.

Will they come

and will they join us?

And will everything

just be cheery and happy?

Or will they feel like

they've got a spot

that we could grieve together

through that process?

And I think in many ways

we've been working

to rectify that.

Some of that is expressed

in the way we pray.

Much of it is expressed

in the songs

that we sing.

We should be very thankful

for old saints

who wrote

five verse hymns.

If you only ever sing

the first,

the second,

and the fifth,

you miss the couple of verses

that are about this life.

And the trouble

of this life.

You begin to pay attention

to many of the songs

we sing.

I know they begin

to feel long,

but it's expressing

the totality

of the Christian experience.

Right?

Being both called

and justified

and then sanctified

growing up in Christ-likeness

in this world

and then finally

fully glorified.

But we still have work

to do

in this area.

We will not be able

to answer

all of the possible

questions

that will arise

this morning.

There's just not enough

time for it.

But as we consider

how to love each other

well through sorrow,

I hope

that our study

will at least

get us started.

We'll skip a stone

off the surface

that we might continue

to study

and learn

together

about what it means

for us as a church

to weep

with those who weep.

So my outline

this morning

is simple.

It has three points.

I'm going to give them

to you before I begin

speaking about the first one.

Number one,

the Bible

affirms

sorrow

as normative.

The Bible

affirms

sorrow

as normative.

Second,

the Bible

gives us

language

for our sorrow.

The Bible

gives us

language

for our sorrow.

The glass

is less full

now.

number three,

the Bible

gives us

relief

from our sorrow.

Number one,

the Bible

affirms

sorrow

as normative.

This morning

we have

opened before us

a song

of

lament.

In fact,

over a third

of the Bible's

inspired songbook

is made up

of such psalms.

Over a third

of the psalms

are psalms

of

lament.

And,

there's an entire book

called the book

of

lamentations.

In a new book

I will come in to you

by Mark

Vrogop,

I think I'm pronouncing

that correct,

entitled

Dark Clouds

Deep Mercy.

He defines

lament

this way.

Lament

is the

honest cry

of a hurting

heart

wrestling

with the

paradox

of pain

and the

promise

of God's

goodness.

Lament

is what

we do

with

this gap

that's

experienced

between

what's going

on in our

lives when

we're hurting

and in the

full and

final promises

of God

to be good

to his

people.

It's that

stretching,

it's that

pulling

in between.

The

biblical

authors

felt

that

gap

between

the

way

things

were

for

them

and

the

way

they

thought

they

ought

to

be.

Our

Lord

and

Savior

is said

to be

a man

of

suffering

and

acquainted

with

grief,

sorrow.

In

Isaiah

Isaiah 53 · chapter mention

chapter 53

in verse

3.

When

Jesus

sees

the sorrow

of

Lazarus'

sister

at his

passing,

John

11

35

tells us

Jesus

wept.

He was

not

disconnected

from

that

gap.

If there

was ever

a man

who could

realize

the good

promises

of God

as he

was the

fulfillment

of God's

promises,

it was

Jesus.

In the

case of

Lazarus,

he knew

full well

that he

was about

to raise

him

from

the

dead,

but he

felt

the pain

of a

world

that is

not

as it

should

be.

A world

being

restored,

but not

yet

restored.

Now we

must be

careful at

this point

because just

because sorrow

is shown

as normative

in the

scripture

does not

make all

sorrow

okay.

Some

sorrow

is

sinful

sorrow.

Not all

sorrow is

sin,

but it

can be

caused

by sin,

it can

produce

sin,

and it

itself

can be

sinful.

It can

be entirely

devoid

of faith.

Sorrow

can be

caused

by

physical

ailment.

You may

be

hurt,

being

hurt

is

painful,

and pain

typically

causes

people to

be sad.

I don't

know a lot

of people

with serious

injury that

are joyful

over the

injury

itself.

Some

of you

may deal

with chronic

and ongoing

physical

pain.

You

hurt in

really deep

ways,

and it

causes

a sadness

as a

result.

Sorrow

can be

caused

by

physical

ailment

of

the

mind.

It would

be silly

for us

to think

that while

our bodies

are affected

by

the fall,

that sin

runs rampant

in our

flesh,

I have

type 1

diabetes

because

of the

fall

of man,

but that

the gray

matter

encased

in bone

in our

head

wouldn't

also be

affected

in some

way

by the

fall.

It's

very

difficult

to

understand

these

things

because

the mind

is encased

in bone.

It's

difficult

to study

the way

other

organs

have been

studied.

But it's

very possible

for someone,

probably this

is over

diagnosed,

but to

experience

a physical

ailment

that

tends

them

toward

sadness.

Sorrow

can also

be

circumstantial.

The loss

of a

loved

one,

diagnosis,

the loss

of a

job,

relationships

that are

severed,

all kinds

of reasons

that in

this world

we will

look out

and feel

sorrowful,

look out

at injustices

in the

world.

Some of

the psalms

of lament,

many of

them are

about that.

Look at

how others

are doing.

Psalm 73

Asaph

writes,

how well

the wicked

are doing

and look

how poorly

I'm doing.

This seems

unfair.

And it

causes him

grief until

he goes

to the

Lord.

Sorrow

can be

circumstantial.

Sorrow

can be

spiritual.

Have that

emotional

root

within us.

Sadness

that we

can't quite

put our

finger

on.

And sorrow

can and

likely is

a mixture

of all

three.

And so as

you're trying

to sort

out your

own sadness

or trying

to help

somebody else

sort out

theirs,

it is one

of the

most

complicated

works

to do.

And if

you've

ever sat

with somebody

who is

sorrowful,

they don't

tend to

want to

talk very

much.

It's a

great

challenge to

help sort

through the

complexities

of besetting

sadness.

sadness.

Now because

we tend

to use

the word

depression

and we

use it

fairly often

in our

day,

I want to

define

depression

and this

is my

definition

of

depression.

I like to

speak of

depression in

this way

as

disproportionate

sorrow.

sorrow.

So if

you were

to lose

a loved

one,

it is

good for

you to

grieve that

loss.

It's

proper for

you to

go through

a process

of being

sad about

someone you

cared about

being taken

out of

your life.

But there's

a point at

which it's

reasonable to

be recovering

from that

sadness,

to be moving

on from

that sadness.

We enter

into a

depression when

it becomes

disproportionate.

It's not

in proper

measure to

the thing

that has

happened.

It's

irrational

sorrow.

And this

is another

great challenge

of helping

yourself and

helping others.

You don't

really quite

know why.

It's hard

to put my

finger on

why.

Sam has

learned how

to very

graciously love

me as I'm

sad at

times.

And more

than I like

to admit,

I'll come

home and

I'm just

sad.

I have no

real reason

to be.

I like

coming home.

I really

enjoy my

family.

The weight

of the day

carries with

me.

I just

say,

are you

okay?

And I

go,

no,

but I

don't know

why.

And she's

learned to

give me a

little bit

of space

because

typically I

can reason

myself to

why.

Oh,

I know

why.

I know

why.

And I

know the

promises of

God that

combat this

sadness in

me.

And I

can turn

that sadness

then by

God's grace

into joy.

So,

but again,

not all

sorrow is

sin,

but it

can be

caused by

it,

it can

produce it,

and it

can be

itself

sinful,

faithless,

unwilling to

think about

the promises

and believe

the promises

of God

for us.

Let me

show you

an example

of what I

mean by

sinful sorrow

before we

proceed.

So turn

with me

to Mark

Psalm 77,

turn with

me to

Genesis

Genesis 4 · chapter mention

chapter 4.

This is a

story you're

probably familiar

with,

Cain and

Abel,

but likely

have not

seen it

in this

light.

Beginning

number 1,

now Adam

knew Eve

his wife,

and she

conceived

and bore

Cain,

saying,

I have

gotten a

man with

the help

of the

Lord.

And again

she bore

his brother

Abel.

Now Abel

was a

keeper of

sheep,

and Cain

a worker

of the

ground.

In the

course of

time,

Cain

brought to

the Lord

an offering

of the

fruit of

the ground.

And Abel

also brought

of the

firstborn

of his

flock,

and of

their fat

portions.

And the

Lord had

regard for

Abel and

his offering,

but for

Cain and

his offering,

he had

no regard.

Now listen,

this is not

just an

unfair judgment

on God's

part.

Notice the

text gives

us some

very specifics

about what

Abel did.

He brought

the firstborn

and he brought

the fat

portions.

It was a

sacrificial

sacrifice.

He understood

the way

in which

he was

meant to

devote

his

trade

to

the

worship

of

God.

Notice

that Cain

just brought

to the

Lord

an offering

of the

fruit of

the ground.

It's just

an offering.

It's not

the firstborn

and the

fat

portions

as Abel's

won.

And we

know God

is good

and righteous

in his

judgment.

He has

no regard

for Cain's

offering.

It was

an

unacceptable

offering.

It wasn't

an appropriate

offering.

Cain had

not done

well in

regard to

his worship

to God.

And then

it says

what was

his response?

God not

regarding it,

not Lord,

how then

will you

regard my

offering?

I would

like to

please you

with my

offering.

Can you

help me?

Correct me

that I might

please you.

Instead,

what does

Cain do?

He was

very angry.

And his

face fell.

Which is a

common Hebrew

expression for

he was

deeply

saddened.

His face

fell.

So all of

that was

an unacceptable

emotional

response.

He did

not respond

righteously.

He responded

in sin.

Verse 6,

the Lord

said to

Cain,

God's

great kindness

to Cain,

Cain

angrily

shook his

fist at

the Lord

for not

accepting his

unacceptable

sacrifice.

The Lord

says to

Cain,

why are

you angry?

And why

has your

face

fallen?

If you

do well,

will you

not be

accepted?

If you

do well,

will you

not be

accepted?

And if

you do

not do

well,

sin is

crouching at

the door.

Its desire

is contrary

to you,

but you

must rule

over it.

So it

gives him

correction,

loving

correction.

What does

Cain do?

Cain spoke

to Abel,

his brother,

and when

they were

in the

field,

Cain rose

up against

his brother

Abel and

killed him.

An

unacceptable

physical

response.

You see

the downward

spiral that's

happening in

Cain's

life,

right?

Presents an

unacceptable

offering.

He has

an

unacceptable

emotional

response to

God not

receiving it.

God corrects

him,

and what

does he

do?

He goes

and commits

an unacceptable

physical

crime against

his brother.

Then the

Lord said

to Cain,

where is

Abel,

your brother?

And Cain

said,

I do not

know.

Am I

my brother's

keeper?

And the

spiral goes

deeper,

as now

he

unacceptably

responds to

God verbally

with a

lie.

And if you

read on in

the text,

he's judged

for this.

So this is

an example

of sorrow.

His face

falls.

Things didn't

go the way

he wanted

them to

go.

His face

falls,

and it

leads him

into

furthering

and furthering

sin.

sorrow.

Now in

our text,

we can

see

faithful

sorrow.

And catch

this very

carefully.

There is a

complaint.

I get

uncomfortable

when I

read Psalms

of Lament.

I think

you should

go,

whoa,

you're asking

these kinds

of questions?

But it's

really important

for us to

note that

Asaph

goes to

God.

He has a

complaint against

God.

He feels

as if

God is

not there,

but he

goes to

God in

faith.

That's what

he's going

to say.

I cry

aloud to

God,

aloud to

God,

and he

will hear

me.

He has

faith in

the fact

that God

will in

fact hear

his

complaint

against

him.

In the

day of

my trouble,

I seek

the Lord.

In the

night,

my hand

is stretched

out without

wearying.

What he's

saying is I'm

constantly,

I'm constantly

reaching out.

I'm constantly

trying to have

my complaint

heard by

God,

but my

soul

refuses

to be

comforted.

When I

remember God,

I moan.

When I

meditate,

he's talking

about on the

truth of

God,

my spirit

faints.

We do

not know

the circumstance

of Asaph's

sorrow,

but we

do know

that it

goes to

God.

It takes

faith to

turn to

God in

our anguish.

It's the

place we

most need

to be

when we

feel this

gap in

which we

live in

the world.

So the

Bible

affirms

sorrow

as normative.

We're going

to experience

this in

our life.

There is

an unhealthy

way to

deal with

it,

and there

is a

healthy

way to

deal with

it.

And that

starts with

language.

So secondly,

the Bible

gives us

language for

our sorrow.

The Bible

teaches us

how to

properly

issue a

faithful

complaint

to God.

We do

not have

to learn

how to

complain.

We're all

pretty naturally

good at

complaining.

Again,

some of us

better than

others.

It's

hardwired

into us.

We know

how to

complain.

Babies

know how

to cry.

It doesn't

take them

long.

If all

is well

in the

delivery

room,

they start

complaining

right away.

They say,

what have

you done

to me?

And they're

right to

do so.

It's

traumatic.

They don't

have to

learn how

to cry.

Toddlers

do not

have to

learn how

to be

whiny.

Later in

the book

I mentioned

earlier,

Dark Clouds,

Deep Mercy,

Mark Rogop

writes,

to cry

is human,

to lament

is Christian.

God

teaches us

how to

faithfully

complain in

the midst

of our

sorrow.

He gives

us a

language

for it.

He

models it

out for

us

through the

inspired

word of

God.

Various

circumstances,

various

writers

issuing

faithful

complaints

to him.

Have these

psalms ever

made you

uncomfortable?

Have you ever

wondered,

like,

what in the

world do I

do with

this?

This

seems so

against,

so set

against

God.

What we

need to do

with them

is learn

from them.

We need

to recognize

that God

is capable

of handling

your hard

questions.

If you

ask me

these kinds

of questions,

I might

crumble

into a

ball.

God

can handle

difficult

questions.

And Asaph

asks some

difficult

questions.

I don't

think he's

being rhetorical.

I try

to read

it in

that way.

You

might be

going,

wait a

second.

These

are all

rhetorical

questions.

I don't

think so

because in

verse 10

he says,

then I

said,

right?

If we

understand the

Hebrew word

salah,

right,

there's this

break there

and then

there's a

turn in

verse 10

when he

says,

then I

said,

right?

And this

is the

pattern

throughout

these

psalms of

lament,

right?

Difficult

questions asked,

complaints

issued,

and then

remembering

then

responses

to

those

complaints.

So listen

again to

what he

says,

verse 4

and following.

You hold

my eyelids

open.

I am so

troubled that

I cannot

speak,

right?

He cannot

sleep and

he cannot

speak.

speak.

I consider

the days

of old,

the years

long ago.

I said,

let me

remember my

song in

the night.

Let me

meditate in

my heart.

Then my

spirit made

a diligent

search,

right?

Read this,

he's troubled,

right?

He wants

the restored

song,

right?

And so

he's searching

for it.

He's trying

to sort

out this

emotion that

he's feeling

so deeply.

And he

asked the

questions,

will the

Lord spurn

forever and

never again

be favorable?

That's how he

feels in that

moment.

God has

just left

him,

he has

abandoned

him,

is the

emotion he's

expressing.

Has his

steadfast

love

forever

ceased?

This would

be your

strongest

argument that

he's being

rhetorical,

right?

The language

steadfast

love

ceased.

Has his

steadfast

love

ceased?

Are his

promises at

an end

for all

time?

Has God

forgotten

to be

gracious?

Has he

in anger

shut up

his

compassion?

Beloved,

it's okay

to ask

hard

questions.

It's okay

in faith

to cry

out to

God,

where are

you?

What is

going on?

This isn't

how things

are supposed

to be.

The Bible

affirms

sorrow

is normative.

The Bible

gives us

language

for our

sorrow.

It invites

us

to hurt,

but to

hurt in

God's

presence.

And thirdly,

the Bible

gives us

relief

from our

sorrow.

The Bible

gives us

relief

from our

sorrow.

sorrow.

There's

some sub

points here.

Number one,

through

remembering

what God

has done.

The Bible

gives us

relief from

our sorrow

through

remembering

what God

has done.

There's a

turn now,

right?

Verse 10,

Asaph says,

then I

said,

I will

appeal to

this,

to the

years of

the right

hand of

the Most

High.

He's going

to remember

God's

powerful

work.

His right

hand represents

his sovereignty.

He says,

verse 11,

I will

remember

the deeds

of the

Lord.

Yes,

I will

remember

your

wonders

of

old.

He's

speaking

very

generally

and

generically.

He's

remembering

all of

the

things

that

God

has

done

for

his

people

and

for

him.

Verse 12,

I will

ponder

all your

work

and

meditate

on

your

mighty

deeds.

Right?

Not

just have

them told

to me,

but I'm

going to

roll

them

around.

Right?

I'm

going to

let them

sink

deep

within

me.

And

your

way,

O

God,

is

holy,

perfect,

set

apart.

What

God

is

great

like

our

God?

You

are the

God

who

works

wonders.

You

have

made

known

your

might

among

the

peoples.

You

with

your

arm

redeemed

your

people,

the

children

of

Jacob

and

Joseph.

He

turns

now

to

praise

for

who

God

is

because

of

what

God

has

done.

And

I

don't

think

when we

read

these

Psalms

of

lament

that

we

should

be

reading

them

in

real

time.

I

don't

think

that

we

should

read

them

and

feel

like

Asaph

went

through

an

emotional

process

that

took

all

of

40

seconds.

These

are

songs