Building a Resilient Church Culture: Part 6 – Healthy Families

This week, we will think together about the need for healthy families.

Healthy families.

Now, as you will see, I have chosen the particular text I had you join me in

! Because we will see Joshua deciding to lead his family in the way of God,

regardless of what the larger society decided to do.

But I'm going to do something odd, because we're not going to look at the text until my conclusion.

Which I don't normally do.

So I usually just get up and read the text, and then talk about the text.

But in order for us to get a clear picture of the significance of the family,

we're going to have to do some biblical theology together.

We're going to have to do kind of a flyover of the scripture.

And then it helps us to understand why it's so important that Joshua makes this decision.

So, you can do what you want with Joshua 24, if you want to put your ribbon bookmark in it,

or the finger.

And if you want to try to join me, you're welcome to.

But I'm going to move pretty fast for the sake of our time together.

Okay.

The Bible teaches that a primary purpose of the family is to help humanity understand three massive truths.

Number one, God's triune nature.

Number two, the gospel.

And number three, the beauty of the church.

In the family, God has embedded pictures of himself, of his plan of salvation, and of his redeemed people.

Now, I can't just make a claim like that to you without showing you where we find it in the Bible.

So, where is that in the scripture?

Well, we'll need to start with the biblical connection between marriage and having children.

Recall one of the first things that God does for Adam.

He creates a helper suitable for him.

Right?

He says it's not good that the man is alone.

Amen?

Men.

Right?

So, God creates for him a helper suitable for him.

Right?

Brings them together into a new family unit.

He presides over that first marriage.

And he gives to them a command found in Genesis 1.28.

Be fruitful and multiply.

Have children.

And this was not just a pre-fall ordinance.

God tells Noah the same thing after the flood in Genesis 9.7.

Be fruitful and increase in number.

Multiply on the earth and increase upon it.

Good job, Christ Family Church.

You're fulfilling the mandate.

I love it.

At this point, it is important that we are clear.

Some are blessed with the gift of singleness.

1 Corinthians 7.7.

Some in God's mysterious providence are unable to have children.

But for the rest, it would seem families with children aren't optional.

It seems to be the normative pattern that we see coming out of these commands in the Bible.

I believe that the procreative mandate still matters, at least in so much as not having children should not be the normative thing.

It should be less normative than having kids and many of them.

Why is God so insistent that humans multiply?

Well, the answer is found when we consider that he created Adam and Eve in his image.

Genesis 1.26-27.

They're meant to show forth something of who he is.

Not perfectly, but some measure of our God.

So he wants his image bearers to multiply because he wants more of his image spread throughout the world.

We go forth as image bearers.

And he decided to graciously share the privilege of creating humans made in his image with us.

He didn't have to do it this way.

Bruce Ware writes,

It is as if God said,

I created the first and original pair of human beings in my very image,

and I could continue creating them unilaterally so that you would have no part to play.

But instead, you are not to bring about human beings.

You are to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth with my greatest of all creations,

humans made in my very image.

So we're invited to procreate as being image bearers of God,

as being creators of image bearers.

You see what's happening there.

Kostenberger, in his book, God, Marriage, and Family, which I would commend to you,

said,

This is remarkable.

God commanded Adam and Eve and us to bear and multiply his image in part by procreation.

But God was not finished.

He also gave the multiplying family massive significance in the history of redemption.

We see this most immediately in the family of Abraham,

whose lineage, his family, God used to point to his plan of salvation for the nations,

for the whole world to be blessed through the family of Abraham.

We also see it in the New Testament,

especially as Paul shows how husbands and wives resemble Christ and the church.

And there are more portraits embedded in the family.

Portraits that display, as we'll see in a moment,

God's triune self, the gospel, and the church.

So let's look at each of those individually.

Number one, the family presents a portrait of God's triune self.

Specifically, the family provides us with a portrait of the father-son relationship within the Trinity.

This is why Paul could write in Ephesians chapter 3, verse 14 and 15,

Ephesians 3:14

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,

from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.

The relationship between heavenly father and son is the ultimate reality.

The relationship between earthly fathers and sons and parents and children generally

are small, at times distorted, but yet meaningful pictures of this ultimate reality.

Now, it's not an absolute analogy.

I know this to be true.

The relationship of the heavenly father to the son is unique.

For instance, the son was eternally begotten, not created in time like our children are.

But for all the differences, the analogy remains.

In the Bible, we cannot get around the fact that the essential relationship

between these two members of the Godhead is as father and son.

We see this repeated again and again and again.

And so, examples.

God the Father, twice from heaven, spoke audibly and declared Jesus as his beloved son.

At his baptism and at his transfiguration.

Matthew 3, 17 and chapter 17 and verse 5.

Jesus at age 12 referred to his father's house.

Luke chapter 2 and verse 49.

Luke 2 · chapter mention

Later to his disciples, Jesus explained his relationship with the father in terms of a human son copying his dad.

John chapter 5, verse 19 says,

John 5:19

Truly, truly, truly, I say to you, the son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the father doing.

For whatever the father does, that the son does likewise.

So, all that said, here's the point.

It is difficult to speak of the Trinity accurately without speaking of God the Father and God the Son.

Consider the enormous implications for our families and our church in understanding that God intends to project his image in part through parent-child relationships.

If we get our minds around this, it's going to do some things for us.

First, it's going to keep us from viewing children as idols.

Some of us are tempted to worship our children, to put them at the center of everything that we do.

Fathers and mothers or even singles who put children on pedestals need to be reminded that God did not give families the divine image so that we can worship them,

but so that we can worship him.

Your identity is not derived from your children, how well they do or how poorly they do.

By all means, let's build up our homes, but as a means of glorifying God, as displaying this relationship within the Trinity.

Also understanding this keeps us from viewing children as tools.

Others will argue that children and families are important because they are the building blocks of society and the church.

And it is true, families are used by God as secondary means for keeping the church and the world from just flying apart.

But that's not the whole story.

They're secondary means.

Families are not simply social glue.

They are an actual display of our triune God.

Thirdly, it keeps us from viewing children as obstacles.

Still others may be tempted to think that having children is not that important

and can be a barrier to godly ambition and valuable Christian service.

Treat them as a burden to the mission of God.

But if parent-child relationships are commanded and bear witness to God's very nature,

then nothing could be further from the truth.

Children are not obstacles to ministry.

They themselves, their very presence is a ministry.

Sometimes that's hard to wrap our minds around.

Fourthly, it keeps us from overlooking children.

Without a theological understanding for the role of children, many of us simply overlook them.

If we're single, we view them as someone else's responsibility and unimportant to our life as Christians

and our life as a church.

I don't think we're guilty of that.

Perhaps some of us are tempted to it.

If we're parents, we may simply view children as little more than objects of evangelism.

They're meant to do more than that, although they are those things that are meant to help us see the nature of our triune God.

Secondly, the family presents a portrait of the gospel.

The family also provides a profoundly personal picture of our salvation.

In salvation, God adopts us.

Don't you love the doctrine of adoption?

We were not gods and then we are made gods.

He makes us his sons and daughters.

God referred to Israel as his firstborn son in Exodus chapter 4.

Exodus 4 · chapter mention

And the people of Israel were encouraged to sing of God's fatherly compassion.

Psalm 103 verse 13.

Psalms 103:13

But Israel as a son merely pointed to Christ the true son.

The good news is that Christ came to effect our adoption and to make us fellow heirs.

Sons in the son.

Paul wrote in Galatians chapter 4 verse 4 and following.

Galatians 4:4

But when the time had fully come, God sent his son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law that we might receive the full rights of sons.

Because you are sons, God sent the spirit of his son into our hearts, the spirit who calls out Abba, Father.

So you're no longer a slave, but a son.

And since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.

Ladies, you want to be sons in this biblical language.

And you are, right, heirs of God.

The perfect son, the Lord Jesus Christ, was not ashamed to call us brothers.

Hebrews chapter 2 and verse 11.

Hebrews 2 · chapter mention

So he taught his disciples to pray to our Father in heaven.

Matthew 6 and verse 9.

And reminded them not to be anxious about food and clothes because your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

Matthew 6, 32.

He also promised them that his Father would not abandon them as orphans.

John chapter 14.

John 14 · chapter mention

Rather, we have been adopted in Christ.

Parent-child relationships are no accident or small part of God's plan.

They are designed to teach us by analogy of our precious relationship to God, our true Father in Christ.

You may have heard me read this quotation before, but I think it's a good one that needs to be repeated.

J.I. Packer once wrote,

If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity,

find out how much he makes of the thought of being God's child and having God as his Father.

If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life,

it means that he does not understand Christianity very well at all.

End quote.

Our culture knows that Christians refer to God as the Father and to Jesus as the Son,

and they are watching us.

In a time of great family turmoil,

it is more rare now to meet a young person with a healthy, functional family

than with a disjointed, dysfunctional family.

We're going to welcome college students back soon.

It's rare when a college student comes from a really healthy, vibrant Christian family.

It's more normative that they don't.

So how our families function matters a great deal.

Husbands and fathers, much of this charge falls to us.

We are to display the divine love of our Heavenly Father in the way we serve our families.

Men, let's make complementarianism attractive.

Let's not let anybody argue against the complementarianism that exists in our fellowship.

Consider a few implications for our families and our church

in understanding that God intends to teach us something of the gospel

through parent-child relationships.

First, it keeps us from being complacent.

God is not satisfied with our current state,

but actively works to conform us to the image of His Son.

Romans 8.29

God's purpose is that, like Jesus, we would imitate Him.

Ephesians 5.1

Paul says,

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.

God calls us to instruct and to disciple our children.

We are to call them to conform to righteous and wise living

and teach them concerning the good authority of God.

That's at least in some measure what we do

when we invite children to be part of our gathering together.

We are saying to them,

The world does not revolve around you.

We come together and there is a greater authority

that resides over us and our lives.

I was really grateful as we were just getting ready to start.

And those moments are always chaotic

and people are getting in here

and we kick off with a song.

And James Knight, who's a six-year-old, ran past me.

And he didn't say it for me to hear it,

but he said,

Church is starting!

Hooray!

Praise God, right?

He's been sitting in here

and he's excited to be sitting in here with us.

We are meant to be growing up our kids in this way.

And parents, it is a long-term thing,

a long-term work that we are doing together.

Having this picture also keeps us from being impatient.

We must be patient with our children

as God is patient.

And I am thankful for this.

Psalm 103 and verse 13 says,

As a father has compassion on his children,

so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.

God is endlessly patient with me

as he views me in Christ.

If we display the gospel well in our parent-child relationships,

it will be consistent,

but careful,

and compassionate,

and kind.

It also promotes formal and informal adoptive practices.

Because our adoption in Christ is precious to us,

we ought also care about,

participate in,

and support adoption.

I'm so thankful for the many people in our fellowship

or have come through our fellowship

that have adopted.

It's a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Such a display of the gospel.

And I say formal

because we need to welcome children into our homes

and declare to them,

you belong to us

with all the formality of the legal process,

and no one's taken you away.

And I also say informal

because there may be children

and adults for that matter.

We talked about adopting college students

during the announcements

who need to be told,

you belong to us,

even though circumstances won't allow

or just aren't necessary.

They're just people that we give ourselves to

that they might know that they belong.

I want to say so much more about this,

but time will not permit me.

I'll conclude this point by simply saying,

what a blessing it is to be part of God's family.

The love we have for our children,

biological or otherwise,

the privileges they have as our children,

the care we show to them,

is an imperfect,

but a marvelous picture

of what we have in Christ

through the gospel.

Thirdly,

the family presents a portrait

of the beauty of the church.

Finally,

the family draws

an equally stunning portrait

of the church.

Peter calls the church

the family of God,

1 Peter 4, 17.

Paul calls the church

God's household

in 1 Timothy 3.

How is it that we belong

to the same household?

Because being united to Christ

brings us into this household.

Ephesians 2,

Ephesians 2:1–10

verses 1-10.

It means that we've been united

to one another.

Ephesians 2, 11-20.

As we have seen,

we've been adopted

as brothers and sisters.

Paul tells all Christians

to love our fellow church members

as siblings.

He consistently refers

to members of the church

under his care

as brothers.

The word for brothers here

is gender neutral.

It means siblings.

Right?

I'll start calling you,

hey, sibling.

He also writes

to the Thessalonians

in 1 Thessalonians 4,

1 Thessalonians 4:9

verse 9 and 10.

Now about brotherly love,

we do not need

to write to you,

for you yourselves

have been taught by God

to love each other.

And in fact,

you do love

all the brothers

throughout Macedonia.

Yet we urge you, brothers,

to do so more and more.

That would be my encouragement

to you today

as I've seen you all

love each other so well.

Do so more and more.

Paul also commanded the Romans

in Romans 12,

well in verse 10,

to love one another

with brotherly affection.

Because of the great

horror of sin,

I know that not all families

are united in the kind of love

that we all long for.

We don't really have,

some of us,

this analogy beautifully portrayed

in our upbringing.

But the analogy still holds true.

You love your family.

Even when your family

is difficult

and uncomfortable,

you work out those differences

and you work through

the discomfort,

not just to tolerate

one another,

but to love one another,

to have affection

for one another,

to seek the highest good

of the other

because they're your family.

And maybe why this analogy

is so clearly used

of the church.

The family

is the first

and foundational institution

created by our Lord.

And it is the foundation

of any healthy church.

I don't know that we're

going to really get

our minds around

what a healthy church

should look like

if it's not full

of healthy families.

Healthy families

will certainly be indispensable

if our church

is to be resilient

in the years to come.

I suggest to you

that this is why

the enemy is so bent

on destroying the family.

This is the front line

of attack

in our nation.

If he can get

at the family,

he can get

at the church.

And he has.

And he does.

Let's not let that

be so amongst us.

On your bulletin

this morning,

the historic,

quote,

17th century

English pastor

Thomas Risley

said,

quote,

the lack of religion

in families

is the decay

of churches.

The degree of piety

in families

directly determines

the strength

and prosperity

of the church.

And Christ's kingdom.

So the family

is important.

And it displays

these beautiful things.

The triune nature

of God.

The gospel itself.

The beauty

of the church.

And so let me read

Joshua chapter 24

Joshua 24:14

verse 14

and 15.

And remind you

before I read,

beloved,

that this is God's word

to us written

for his glory

and our good.

we would all

do well to listen

to it

in order to believe

its promises

and obey

its commands.

Now,

therefore,

fear the Lord

and serve him

in sincerity

and in faithfulness.

Put away the gods

that your father

served beyond the river

and in Egypt

and serve the Lord.

And if it is evil

in your eyes

to serve the Lord,

choose this day

whom you will serve,

whether the gods

your father served

in the region

beyond the river

or the gods

of the Amorites

in whose land

you dwell.

But as for me

and my house,

we will serve

the Lord.

This chapter

closes out

the book of Joshua.

Israel has accomplished

their quasi-conquering

of the land

of Canaan.

But because of

their disobedience

to conquer it

on God's terms,

they're about

to encounter

much trouble

and will share

much of the land

with these Canaanites

here,

a group of them

called the Amorites.

Joshua here

calls them

to choose

whether or not

they will serve

the God

who has delivered

them time

and time again

or the worthless

idols of the people

of the land.

The simple point

to be made

is this.

For us to build

a resilient church culture

and to continue

in the work

of building

as a resilient

church culture,

heads of households

will have to decide

who we will

serve.

We will have to decide

not to bow

at the feet

of cultural norms,

leading our children

to worship

the idols

of this land.

And we will have

to decide

to lead our children

to the worship

of the Most High God

who is the only one

worthy

of our worship.

So let's continue

to be about

the work

of building

a resilient

church culture

by God's grace

and to God's glory

by working on,

taking up,

thinking about

clear mission,

robust theology,

accurate histories,

sacrificial hospitality,

and healthy families.

Let's pray.

Let's pray.