Authority: Family

Well, good morning. It's nice to be back with you after being sick last week.

I always hate to miss our fellowship, and I especially hate it when I am home doing nothing fun at all.

I'm really glad to be here with you today.

We don't have a primary text for today, which we normally do,

but let me ask you to begin this morning by joining me in Psalm 115 and verse 3.

Psalm 115 and verse 3.

We're going to take a brief break from our study of Romans and take up a topic in series form.

And I just have to tell you that the word series tastes bad on my tongue when spoken from the pulpit on the Lord's Day,

as we most regularly consider the text verse by verse, chapter by chapter, book by book.

We think this is the normative, healthiest way to approach the Bible.

That said, sometimes a topic requires our particular attention,

and so we labor to take it up faithfully and observe the scope of what the Bible teaches concerning it.

But when we do, please be extra discerning.

We want to be really careful at this point.

Anytime we do theology systematically, we must be careful that we don't piecemeal the Scripture to bend it to our opinion,

but rather that we are honest with it as we pull its teaching together.

There are so many erroneous things.

It's a cult start by taking up the Bible and approaching topics and doing it poorly.

So let's not do that.

Now the topic we're going to take up is the topic of authority.

So we want to be especially careful not to become a cult after touching such a topic.

We're going to do so primarily because at the close of this past year,

a number of our members suggested that we teach on congregationalism.

We are congregationalists as a church.

This is a conviction that we have, and in some future weeks,

I'll explain what that word means if you don't know.

And it's important, though, for us to know what it means, what it doesn't mean,

and to know what is the authority that a church holds together

and what authority a church member holds individually.

So this is what was asked of us, and we're going to do that,

but we're going to approach it more broadly first.

Secondarily, the topic of authority is a good topic to take up

because we all have an authority issue.

As Americans, it is just ingrained into us to have a sense of rogue individualism.

Not all bad.

Our experiment in order of liberty certainly has a sentiment

that leans heavy on the liberty portion of that equation, right?

wants to shy away from the ordered portion of it,

really, really enjoys the liberty portion of it.

Additionally, we have all seen authority abused.

We have observed it.

If you've not seen abused authority, come speak to me.

I'll point out some cases to you from this past week.

And many of us have experienced firsthand the abuse of authority.

So there is reason to be suspect.

To be really cautious when somebody says they have authority

and press that authority on us.

Beyond all of this, at our very core,

apart from the redemptive work of Christ,

we are rebellious people.

It is our nature before Christ makes us new to be rebellious.

You can trace briefly the biblical narrative backwards

and see a New Testament church not heeding the words of the apostles.

You see a Jewish people rejecting the teaching of Jesus

and crucifying him for what they believe to be blasphemy.

We see a nation turning away again and again and again from the prophets,

not taking care with their temple worship as they have been commanded,

neglecting to drive out the people from the promised land,

refusing to fight for fear,

desecrating holy places,

and on and on and on and on.

The Bible is a story of rebellious people

with a loving God who redeems them.

And all of this finds us beginning with our first parents,

the original rebels who doubted God's good authority

in Genesis chapter 3.

Genesis 3 · chapter mention

thought, surely God doesn't really know what's best.

So we have an authority problem.

But there is power and there is dominion in this world.

We must first recognize that God has authority.

God's authority is innate.

That means that nobody gave it to him.

It is his.

He possesses it.

And he is the final authority,

the absolute authority.

No one rules over him.

God created all things with good, mighty words

and has both the right and power to rule over his creation.

Everything that we see and experience,

God reigns over.

Psalm 115 and verse 3 says,

Our God is in the heavens.

He does all that he pleases.

Fully powerful to accomplish everything that he intends to accomplish.

He has absolute and final authority.

Another place in the text, Jeremiah chapter 32 and verse 17.

Jeremiah 32 · chapter mention

This is from our scripture reading just a few weeks ago.

Ah, Lord God,

it is you who have made the heavens and the earth

by your great power and by your outstretched arm.

God determines what nations will exist and where they will exist.

Acts chapter 17 and verse 26.

Acts 17 · chapter mention

He decides what king is to rule and when and where.

Isaiah chapter 44 and verse 28.

Isaiah 44 · chapter mention

Sometimes to the judgment of his people.

He decides whether the purposes of a ruler will stand or fall.

Psalm 33 verse 10 and 11.

Psalms 33:10

He even once determined that wicked people would take the life of his dear son

so that we sinners might live.

Acts chapter 2 verse 23 and 24.

Acts 2:23

God has authority over all the important events of human history

but also over the lives of individual people.

Just consider on this Sanctity of Human Life Sunday.

He knits us together in our mother's wombs.

Psalm 139 verse 13 through 16.

Psalms 139:13–16

Intimately involved.

Authoritatively involved in our creation.

He decides whether we will travel or stay home.

James 4 verse 13 through 17.

James 4:13–17

As we have seen in Romans chapter 8

Romans 8 · chapter mention

and will consider further when we return to our study of Romans.

God also exercises his authority to bring forgiveness and new life.

Ephesians chapter 2 verse 8 through 10.

Ephesians 2:8–10

I'm grateful that God is authoritative over the salvation of my soul.

God's authority is necessarily good

because he is good.

Too many people in this world feel that God's authority is an oppressive authority.

But it's not, right?

It's designed for good.

Psalm 119 verse 68.

Psalms 119:68

God, you are good and do good.

So whether you recognize it or not or care to yield to it or not,

there is an absolute and final authority in this world.

You can bow to it now, which I urge you to do because it is good.

Turn from your rebellion.

Turn to the perfect righteousness of Christ.

Place your faith in his sacrificial death on your behalf

and find the salvation of your soul.

Bow to God's authority now.

Come to him on his terms.

Or, one day, you will be judged and you will be made to bow to his authority.

Now, recognizing that God is the absolute and final authority,

we do well to ask, but how is it that that authority is made effectual in the world?

How is it that it's carried out in the world in which we live?

Have we been left groping for what God requires of us?

No, we have not.

He has written, by the power of the Holy Spirit, through the pens of his servants, a book.

And this book gives us all the answers we need to the lives ordered under God's authority.

It's sufficient for that task.

It has everything in it that we need.

And it begins with a command.

Genesis chapter 1 and verse 26.

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

Then God said,

Let us make man in our image after our likeness,

and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea,

and over the birds of the heavens,

and over the livestock,

and over all the earth,

and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.

As part of the creation mandate,

we are made as people who image God in this world.

And we do it specifically by having dominion,

relegated authority over the world in which we live.

And then more specifically, we see in Genesis chapter 2 and verse 15.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and to keep it,

or to cultivate it and to protect it.

So we see commands given, right?

Rule over this.

Be fruitful and multiply.

Fill the earth with my glory.

So we as image bearers are delegated authority.

Our authority is not absolute,

and it is not final.

It always has limits,

and is always subservient to the one who delegated it.

It's got boundaries set up for it.

Authority gone awry,

which there are many examples of,

is always authority that steps out of the bounds which God places on it.

When a person or institution takes up a responsibility not granted to them,

or exercises an authority granted to them in a way not granted to them,

it is at best ineffective.

At best, it's ineffective.

It is at worst abusive.

As a book, I want to commend it to you,

but I haven't read the whole thing,

so I'm not going to commend it to you yet.

But it has been good and helpful so far in my reading of it.

Written by a man named Jonathan Lehman,

many of you are probably familiar with.

And its main title is Authority,

but the subtitle of it I just love.

So the subtitle is

How Godly Rule Protects the Vulnerable,

Strengthens Communities,

and Promotes Human Flourishing.

So delegated authority,

properly exercised by the Scripture,

is good for us,

and it's good for others.

It's not this great evil to be avoided,

but rather a thing for us to take up,

and to understand,

and to exercise

for the place in which we live.

If our aim is to submit to God's good authority

for the sake of protecting the vulnerable,

strengthening our communities,

and promoting human flourishing,

then this topic is of great importance,

and it really must be well understood.

So we see in God's Word

that God delegates His authority

through three institutions

and six positions.

Three institutions

and six positions.

And I just want you to take a moment

and consider

what those three institutions

and six positions

might be.

You're all Bible readers.

I know that you are.

God has ordained authority

in this world.

Do you know them?

I hope at least a couple

have popped into your mind.

You experience them

on a regular basis.

Over the next four weeks,

Lord willing,

we will be considering

the three institutions

and the subsidiary positions

in some detail.

A breeze over, to be sure.

Today we're going to talk about

the family some,

but we're primarily going to talk

about the family

as a way of introducing

the idea to you

of these three institutions

and the six positions.

So here they are.

Are you ready?

Three institutions

and an accompanying tool,

which we'll talk about in detail

in the coming weeks,

that comes along with

that institution.

The first,

the family.

The first is the family.

And the accompanying tool is

the rod.

The rod, right?

This would have been

the short stick

that a shepherd would have carried.

He would have had a staff,

which was for gentle correction,

and a rod,

which was for cracking sheep

over the head.

Those are the two tools

that are being used, right?

This is the tool

that comes along

with the authority

of the family.

Proverbs 13, 24

is an example.

Whoever spares the rod

hates his son.

And I am not telling you

you should crack your kid

over the head

with a short stick.

That's not what the Bible

is saying either,

at all, right?

But corrective discipline

is important

for the training of children.

Whoever spares the rod,

here are those parents,

hates his son.

But he who loves him

is diligent

to discipline him.

So the authority

of the family

comes with a tool

we know as the rod

for corrective discipline.

The second institution,

which was a people for God,

which we now call

the church, right?

So the second institution

is the church.

This is the one

that often people

just grapple with.

What is the tool

given to the church?

What could it possibly be?

Well, it's the keys.

The keys.

We see mention of this

in Matthew chapter 16

Matthew 16 · chapter mention

and verse 19.

There Jesus says,

I will give you

the keys

of the kingdom

of heaven.

And whatever you bind

on earth

shall be bound in heaven.

Whatever you loose

on earth

shall be

loosed in heaven.

And this is a head-scratcher

until you read

Matthew chapter 18.

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

And we get this

careful prescription

for church discipline,

for bringing about

the correction

of souls

that are going wayward.

They're unrepentant

in their sin.

And there's an authority

that the church

brings to bear

called the keys.

This process

of disciplining people

we hope and pray

back into right relationship

with the Lord God.

Right?

So we got the family

with the rod,

the church

with the keys,

and finally,

and this one probably

came into your mind

fairly immediately,

government.

And the tool used

by government

is the sword.

So Romans chapter 13,

Romans 13:3

verse 3 and 4,

For rulers are not

a terror to good conduct,

but to bad.

Would you have no fear

of the one who is in authority?

Then do what is good,

and you will receive

his approval.

For he is God's servant

for your Lord in vain.

For he is the servant of God,

an avenger who carries out

God's wrath

on the wrongdoer.

Right?

So we have these tools

given to these three institutions

that have authority,

and we're going to talk about

many of the complications

that come

in a fallen world

as these institutions

play out their roles.

So three institutions,

and then six positions.

So within the family,

we have the authoritative role

of husband,

and the authoritative role

of parent.

In the church,

we have the authoritative role

of elder,

and we argue,

as congregationalists,

the authoritative role

of the congregation.

Right?

The church as a whole.

The government has

various offices

as suit the occasion

and the time.

King, governors,

judges,

Congress,

a president.

Et cetera.

And then outside

of these three institutions,

there's one

extra-institutional,

biblical position.

The employer,

or boss.

We're going to pick up

the language of master

in the Bible.

Maybe for our day,

manager could be

the best word.

Perhaps your employer

is far removed from you,

but you do have a person

that you answer to

in your job.

Colossians 4.1,

Masters,

treat your bond servants

justly and fairly,

knowing that you also have

a master in heaven.

And we're not going to

take up that one

in this study,

so that's an extra one.

It deserves some time

and attention,

but we're going to think

about these different positions

that exist within

these three institutions

across this time.

Now, within these

three institutions

and six positions,

there is granted

two types of authority.

Two types of authority.

Number one,

you have the authority

of coercion,

which is the power

to make someone

do something by force.

I like Jonathan Lehman

in his book,

Authority,

uses rather the term

the authority of command.

So, the power

to make somebody

do something by force.

Simple example of this

with the government.

There are speed limits

posted everywhere.

And if you break

the speed limit,

it is justly deserved

that you get pulled over

and you get a ticket

for that.

Doesn't mean we always

follow that rule,

but we can't complain

when we get

the coercive authority

applied to us

to keep that speed limit.

You get enough tickets,

you will find yourself

going slower and slower.

We don't try to persuade

our toddlers

to do things all the time.

Sometimes we make them

do things.

My children had to freeze

when I told them

to freeze.

Why?

Because I was concerned

for their safety.

So, we taught them

to do that.

So, if we were in a parking lot

or they were running

towards the road,

I could say freeze

and they would plant

their feet and not move.

And they knew

that there would be

punishment if they didn't

do what we asked them

to do.

So, this is the way

this power comes to bear.

And those tools

that I mentioned to you

accompany this power,

this authority

of command.

The rod,

the keys,

and the sword.

We also have

the authority

of persuasion.

And Jonathan Lehman

uses the term

counsel.

The authority

of counsel.

The power

to convince

someone

to do

something.

So,

if you're thinking

about the church,

we're going to talk

about this at length

next week.

Elders

do not have

the power

of command.

elders,

myself by myself,

I do not exercise

the keys

by myself.

I exercise

the keys

as a part

of a congregational

whole,

but not by myself.

I have never

and will never

because I don't think

I'm authorized

to do it

by the Lord,

kick somebody

out of the church

and so declare

them not a Christian.

I don't think

I have the power

to do that

by myself

and therefore

I won't.

This is good,

right?

You personally

offend me

and I say,

how dare you?

That's offensive.

How could you be

a Christian

and say such a thing?

You're out of here.

It's not a power

that I have.

But I do

have an authority

which means

that it should

bear on your conscience.

Hebrews 13,

17 says,

obey your leaders

and submit

to them

for they're

keeping watch

over your soul.

This authority

of counsel

or persuasion,

it's what I'm doing

right now.

I'm trying

to convince

you

that authority

is good

and I want

you to

take it up

and by the

power of the

spirit,

I hope it

works down

into your

heart

so that

you will

want to

obey it.

We do

this day

in and

day out.

But inevitably,

every time I preach

a sermon,

somebody comes up

to me and says,

I don't know.

Well,

what do I do?

I don't say,

get in your car

and go home.

I say,

well,

I'd love to

convince you.

Let's go back

to the text.

Let's keep

working on it

together.

Maybe I was

wrong.

Let's look at it

and let's work

together toward

the truth

together.

So,

the authority

of command

and the authority

of counsel

are helpful

for us to get

right in our

mind.

Again,

the authority

of command

possesses the

right of

corrective

discipline.

The authority

of counsel

while the Bible

still is saying

you should listen

to this authority,

it has no

immediate

retributive

consequence

if you don't

obey it.

Okay?

So,

let's remember,

and I'm setting you

up for a lot of

this for the next

two weeks,

but let's remember

God is the

absolute and

final authority

and God

delegates authority

and authorizes

the boundaries

of that authority.

So,

we do well

to lay aside

our experiences

and our prejudices

against authority

and to lay

bare God's

word on the

matter.

Whether or not

our experience

of authority

has been

positive,

what might

a world,

a nation,

a church,

a family

look like

when ordered

properly

by God's

good

authority.

It's really

worth stopping

and considering.

If God is

the authority

and he's

good and

he's created

and delegated

authority,

which is

good,

huh,

what might

it look

like?

We'll talk

about this

at length,

but our

church,

even as

congregationalists,

we're not a

pure democracy.

Pure democracy

would be chaos

in the life

of a church.

This is not

the way

that God

intended

for it to

work together.

We need

to understand

these roles

and categories

so that we

can properly

function

within them.

Charles Spurgeon

once said,

this is just

a broad

quotation,

he wasn't

specifically

speaking of

authority

at the time,

this is on

the back

of the

bulletin

if you

care to

see it,

he said,

I believe

certain

doctrines

because God

says they

are true

and the only

authority

I have

for their

truth

is the

word of

God.

I receive

such and

such doctrines

not because

I can prove

them to be

compatible with

reason,

not because

my judgment

accepts them,

but because

God says

they are

true.

Now this is

one of the

best services

we can render

to God,

to submit

ourselves to

him in our

belief of

what he has

revealed and

ask him to

fix his

truths in

our hearts

and make

us obey

them.

Now,

the family

is the

first and

foremost

institutional

authority.

And what I

mean by that

is that it

was created

first and

as foremost,

it's foundational

to all of the

other systems

that we see

playing out.

As goes the

family,

so goes the

rest of

society.

You will not

have strong

churches without

strong families,

families,

you will not

have strong

countries without

strong families.

Consider that

this is why

over the last

century,

our enemy

has been

after the

family.

That is the

primary focus

of the

attacks on

our

well-being.

It was

created in the

early days of

the creation

of the world.

You can read

the account

in Genesis

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

chapter 2.

Adam is given

that dominion

mandate.

Go forth,

be fruitful,

multiply,

rule over all

things,

and then he

rightly declares

that Adam is

going to need a

partner to be

able to do

so.

God institutes

the family,

husband and

wife.

And if mankind

is to spread

God's image

across the globe,

then they

needed a

mechanism by

which to

do so.

The whole

thing gets

messed up before

children even

enter into the

scene,

but it was

always the

intention of

this institution,

right, that it

would be husband

and wife and

children,

because we see

this command to

multiply and to

fill the earth

with the glory of

God.

So again, we see

within this

institution of the

family, we see

two positions.

We see the

husband and we

see the

parents.

Now the

husband,

here's this

husband,

does not have

the authority

of command.

look around

in the text,

I challenge

you,

you will not

find a rod

given to the

husband.

The husband

rather has

the authority

of counsel.

people.

1 Corinthians 11

3 says this,

but I want you

to understand

that the head

of every man

is Christ,

the head of

a wife is

her husband,

and the head

of Christ

is God.

I mean,

a subservient

delegated

authority.

Ephesians chapter

Ephesians 5:22–28

5 verse 22

through 28,

wives,

submit to your

own husbands

as to the

Lord.

There's the

conscience

command,

the thing

that weighs

on you.

You'll be

judged for

one day.

Should you

be obedient

to this?

You should

be obedient

to this.

Wives,

submit to

your own

husbands

as to

the Lord.

For the

husband is

the head

of the

wife,

even as

Christ is

the head

of the

church,

his body

and is

himself

its

savior.

Now as

the

church

submits

to

Christ,

so also

wives

should

submit

in

everything

to

their

husbands.

And then

the command

goes on.

Now,

I was a

sociology

major.

I did

my

undergrad

work at

the

University

of

North

Georgia.

Many

of the

conversations

right now

that are

just

shocking

our

culture,

I can't

believe

we're

having

these

kinds

of

conversations

about

sexuality

and

gender,

we were

having

in the

classroom

two

decades

ago.

We

were

talking

about

all

of this

already.

And I

had a

sociology

of

gender

class,

and the

professor's

vendetta

in that

class was

to condemn

Christianity

and for

what it

had done

to the

relationship

between

men

and

women.

And there

were

many

females

in that

class

that

loved

everything

that he

had to

say.

There was

one in

particular,

she was

a middle

aged

woman,

she had

come

back

to

school,

and she

had a

really

good

friend

whose

husband

in the

name

of

Christianity

using

the

scripture

was

physically

abusive

to her.

Like,

put her

in the

hospital

physically

abusive

to her.

And I

listened to

her,

one class

period,

bemoan

Christianity

for this,

and she

started to

speak again

in another

class period,

and I

just shot

my hand

up.

Before I

even thought

what I

was going

to say,

shot

my hand

up,

and I

was called

on.

And I

just

turned to

her,

and I

said,

I said,

ma'am,

quite a bit

older than

me.

I said,

ma'am,

nowhere in

the Bible

is the

justification

for what

that man

is doing

to his

wife

found.

It is

not

found in

the

scripture.

He's

misusing

it if

he's

using it

as the

justification.

So your

attack against

Christianity

is not

founded.

And I'll

say that

to the

degree that

I'll

say,

as a

Christian

man,

if that

woman is

ready to

leave that

husband for

his abusive

behavior,

I'm there

to help.

Now,

I don't

bear the

power of

the sword,

so this

gets complicated,

right?

But I do

believe as a

Christian I

should be

one who

seeks

justice.

And by

God's grace,

it shut

down the

attacks against

Christianity

again and

again and

again.

Another

class that I

had,

sociology of

religion

class,

same

professor,

going hard

and read

this text,

Ephesians 5,

he read

verse 22

through 24

that wives

should submit

in everything

to their

husbands and

people are

up in arms

and they're

very upset

about Christianity

and what it's

done and how

oppressive it

is to women

and I just

quietly got my

Bible out and

I opened it

up and I

set it on

the desk and

I don't know

why,

but at one

point he

said,

okay Nathan,

what do you

think?

And I

said,

well since

you asked,

you misuse

the Bible

for your

agenda and

you ought to

read the

rest of the

text.

So I just

read it.

So here it

is,

verse 25.

Husbands,

here we are,

oh men,

oh if you're

being proud at

the moment,

wives should

submit to us

and everything.

Husbands,

love your

wives.

This is not

an emotional

thing,

this word does

not mean that.

Should we be

affectionate towards

our wives?

Yes, we

should.

Right?

Sacrificially

serve your

wives,

love your

wives,

seek their

highest good

in all

things.

And he's

going to

explain what

that highest

good is in

just a moment.

That's what

we're supposed

to be doing.

Husbands,

we're supposed

to love

our wives

as Christ

loved the

church.

And in case

you're so

dense that

you still

don't get

it,

he says,

and gave

himself up

for her.

How did

Christ love

the church?

He died

for the

church.

That flips

the whole

thing on

its head.

Right?

You cannot

support a

feminist agenda

from this

text.

This is the

kind of

authority we

are meant to

be exercising

in our

homes.

Right?

Gave himself

up for her.

That he,

and we're

talking about

Christ and

the church,

but this is

the way we're

supposed to be

serving our

wives,

that he

might sanctify

her,

having cleansed

her by the

washing of

water with

the word,

so that he

might present

the church to

himself in

splendor without

spot or

wrinkle or

any such

thing,

that she

might be

holy and

without

blemish.

This is the

way we are

supposed to be

serving our

wives,

right?

Seeking their

highest good,

which is their

spiritual gain.

In the same

way,

again,

I think Paul

knows how

thick-headed

we can be.

In the same

way,

husbands should

love their

wives as

their own

bodies.

He who

loves his

wife loves

himself.

So we

work by the

power of the

word to

persuade our

wives.

We're giving

them counsel.

We're helping

to steer them.

We're giving

them guidance

for how they

need to live

their wives.

Now,

I meant to

ask my

wife for

permission to

share this

story,

so I hope

she won't

mind that

I'm sharing

it.

I think

she won't

mind that

I'm sharing

it.

Sam,

I am

sorry.

My wife

likes

true crime

TV,

and I

don't know

the name

of the

show,

but she

got onto

a show

that was

like bizarre

crime kind

of stuff,

and I

just was

seeing in

her kind

of this

growing

anxiety,

just fears

that I

felt were

misplaced

for her

own safety,

for the

safety of

our children.

And so I

began by

saying,

I don't

know that

that's really

serving your

soul,

watching those

shows.

I think it's

creating this

temptation in

you to

fear,

not trust

the Lord's

providence in

our lives.

And she

said,

yeah,

you might be

right,

yeah,

I'll think

about it.

I'm like,

okay,

that's

great.

Now some

time went

on,

and I

went,

hey,

are you still

watching?

Still noticing

that there's

kind of these

fears in you?

Are you still

watching?

Yeah,

I'm still

watching it.

So I just

said a little

more emphatically,

I really think

you need to

stop.

I think it's

time.

And then we

took a trip

up to Clayton,

and we were

playing on a

river.

Our kids

were toddlers

at the time,

and we were

across from a

dirt road on

a riverbank,

rocky riverbank.

We were

sitting in

chairs,

Sam and I

were,

and the boys

were playing

around us,

and an old

truck went

rolling by.

Admittedly,

it was creepy.

It was black.

The windows

were like

blacked out

on the

truck and

rolling by.

But it was

like a really

popular fishing

river.

I'm fairly

sure the guy

was just

scouting a

place to

go fishing.

But he

went rolling

by really

slow,

and Sam

said,

boys,

quick,

quick,

quick,

get behind

me,

get behind

me,

get behind

me.

And I

was like,

what are

you doing

right now?

And she

said,

he might

be a

sniper.

I love

you,

Sam.

Don't hate

me for

telling this

story.

So it

was at

this point,

the very

first thing

I said

was,

it's time

to stop

watching that

show.

It's time to

stop watching

that show.

And to my

wife's

wonderful credit,

she said,

you're right.

You're right.

right.

She submitted

to my

authority of

persuasion.

It just took

a little time

for us to

get there,

but she

said,

you're right.

There's this

irrational fear

arising in

me,

and I see

that you're

working for

my good.

Thank you.

Thank you

for doing

this.

If husbands

abuse this

authority,

we take up

something that's

not ours to

take up.

We step

outside of

the bounds,

we become

abusive.

And I don't

think anybody

in this room

is physically

abusive.

If you are,

you better

look out.

But I will

also say,

men,

with our

anger,

we can

emotionally

abuse our

wives.

We can get

our way

with the

threat of

us blowing

our tops

and disrupting

the peace

in the house.

And a lot

of your

wives might

tiptoe around

you just

wondering when

they're going

to misstep.

We want to

be sure

that we

don't do

this.

We do

not have

that type

of authority

as husbands.

Aim at the

highest good

of your

wife,

the spiritual

good of

your wife,

the care

and protection

of your

family in

the way

you exercise

your

authority.

Second

position in

the home

is that of

parent.

And we'll

wrap this

up fairly

quickly here.

Now,

with parenting

there is

the authority

of command.

Please don't

give your

children

authority.

There's not

an authority

delegated to

children.

The authority

is delegated

to you

to help

them to

grow.

We want

our children

to grow

in wisdom

in the

world,

which includes

all the

little practical

things that

we need to

teach them

how to do.

They need

to know

how to make

the peanut

butter

sandwich

and to

clean up

after.

But most

importantly,

it's those

core things

they need

to know

for godliness.

Psalm 78,

Psalms 78:5–7

verse 5-7,

He established

a testimony

in Jacob

and appointed

a law

in Israel

which He

commanded our

fathers to

teach their

children,

that the next

generation might

know them,

the children yet

unborn,

and arise

and tell them

to their

children,

so that they

should set

their hope

in God

and not forget

the works

of God,

but keep

His commandments.

We are

supposed to

teach God's

good commands

to our

children.

And this is a

lot of work.

It's a day-in

and it's a

day-out work.

And we get

help in the

doing of it,

but that

authority has

been given

to you,

parents.

This is

your job

in your

children's

lives.

Another text,

Ephesians 6,

Ephesians 6:1–4

verse 1-4,

Children,

obey your

parents in

the Lord,

for this

is right.

Honor your

father and

mother.

This is the

first commandment

with a promise,

that it may

go well with

you,

and that you

may live

long,

in the

land.

So children,

you need to

hear,

God has

given you

authority for

your good.

It doesn't

always go

perfectly.

Your parents

are not

perfect.

I tell my

children all

the time,

I am not

perfect.

I am trying,

but I'm not.

But I'm aiming

at your good.

That's what I'm

trying to accomplish

here.

I'm going to

miss it sometimes,

but I'm really

trying to do

the right thing

for you.

If you will

listen to me

and follow the

things that I'm

teaching you to

do,

there's a

promise in

the Bible

for you

that it

will go

well with

you.

And then we

see verse 4,

fathers,

which also

could be

translated

parents,

do not

provoke your

children to

anger,

but bring

them up in