Sermon

From Principle to Practical

Maranatha Baptist Church of Columbus, OH - Latest Messages

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  1. Let me say at the outset that I always, always, always enjoy listening to you sing.

  2. ! And one of the things that I really like when we sing together is how the scriptures

  3. !

  4. Our singing would very, very quickly degenerate into something that really was of no redemptive

  5. value.

  6. Do you understand that?

  7. When you remove the Word of God from the hearts of God's people, and the Word of God does not

  8. inform the thinking, the behavior, the singing of God's people, very quickly all other kinds

  9. of things that are idolatrous come in and take their place.

  10. By the way, enthusiastic, powerful singing is not something that we do just because we

  11. work at it.

  12. It is an indicator of the filling of the Spirit of God.

  13. Isn't that right?

  14. Be filled with the Spirit and sit there like a bump on a log, like a, you know, I know it's

  15. a good song and it's a Bible, but I'm not singing.

  16. May it never be.

  17. May it never be.

  18. May it never be.

  19. Okay.

  20. Turn in your Bibles this morning to Ephesians chapter 5.

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  21. We're going to be looking at 28 through 30.

  22. And it dawned on me that I have fallen behind in what is perhaps one of my most redundant

  23. statements to you.

  24. Do you know what a redundant statement is?

  25. It's something that is repetitious.

  26. Now, having said that I've fallen behind on one of my most redundant statements, you know

  27. what I'm going to say next, which is, thank you.

  28. When I walk from there to here, when I sit there, I think that.

  29. I am dependent upon the authority and power of the Word of God.

  30. I am dependent upon the power of the Spirit of God.

  31. And I am dependent on the prayers of God's people.

  32. I suppose it wouldn't hurt if I prayed too, right?

  33. I suppose it wouldn't hurt if I prayed too, right?

  34. Gracious Father, as the psalmist in 119 said, open your word that we might behold wondrous

  35. truths in your law.

  36. We're thankful for the clear revelation of the book of Romans in chapter 8 where we understand

  37. that part of the ministry of the Spirit of God involves helping us know you.

  38. And in 1 Corinthians chapter 2, understand you.

    1 Corinthians 2 chapter mention

  39. And so we together ask for the power of the Spirit, my declaration being characterized by

  40. the enabling of the Spirit of God, and then the hearing and the application of the Word,

  41. the Word, the Scriptures, being strengthened and enabled by your Spirit that Christ might

  42. be exalted among us this morning.

  43. Amen.

  44. Amen.

  45. Now, we come back in Ephesians chapter 5, looking at verses 28 through 30, to Paul's very careful

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  46. instruction on what being a Spirit-filled believer is to be like.

  47. And I want us to understand that behind this issue of the responsibilities that a Christian

  48. husband has is not this idea that God is giving to us just a set of expectations that we are

  49. to go about doing on our own strength.

  50. Listen, being the husband that God wants you to be is understood in the context of the filling

  51. of the Spirit of God and the power of the Spirit of God.

  52. And you remind yourself of what Jesus said there in John chapter 15.

    John 15 chapter mention

  53. He said, without me you can do nothing.

  54. And so as I am working my way through the passage and we are studying this together and you find

  55. yourself sitting there thinking, man, I'm not there.

  56. It might be that one of the things that you really do need to address is that you have

  57. been going about the responsibility of being the husband in your home without knowing Christ.

  58. And as a result, when I lay out what it means to be a Christian husband, it's like, I'm not

  59. there.

  60. Well, if you don't know Christ, it's understandable that you can't go there.

  61. And the first need that you have is the work of God drawing you to the cross and you coming

  62. to Christ and finding complete forgiveness for all of your sins.

  63. But it might also be that you're sitting there as a believer and you are really still in your

  64. spiritual infancy and really moderately indifferent to the necessity of you having the help of God

  65. to do the things that He wants you to do.

  66. And so it's important for you to learn that to be the man that God wants you to be and

  67. to be the husband that He has called you to be is that you have to have the enabling of

  68. the Spirit of God that you might do the things God wants.

  69. It's interesting as we look at Ephesians chapter 5, and we actually could pick up there in verse

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  70. 25 and carry on through the end of the chapter that Paul takes quite a bit of time to talk

  71. about the role and the responsibility of the Christian husband.

  72. And being a godly husband is important.

  73. But at the same time, I do not want to suggest that really the greatest need we have today is

  74. that men be better husbands.

  75. You see, God does care about marriage, but that's not the very center issue of all of eternity.

  76. The central theme of Scripture is the cross of Christ whereby He turns rebels into joyful

  77. worshipers because He was willing to die in our place and His blood has satisfied the debt

  78. that my sin created.

  79. And God's intention is to turn us who were once rebels into joyful and obedient worshipers.

  80. And He intends for our lives and our relationships to reflect Christ and draw unbelievers to ask

  81. a reason, as it says in Peter, what is the deal with you?

  82. Why do you treat your wife differently?

  83. And why do you carry on and care for her the way you do?

  84. Now, I don't want you to miss that while we're going to spend our time thinking about the role

  85. and responsibility of a Christian husband, that Christ is at the very center of all that

  86. we are doing.

  87. In fact, if you want to kind of tag that and check it out, all you have to do is pick up

  88. there in verse 25 and kind of play through and notice how many times in this short passage

  89. the apostle reminds us that really the thinking he is addressing is Christocentric.

  90. Jesus is at the center of it.

  91. Well, let's pick up now, though, at verse 28.

  92. Let me read it, and then we'll address it together.

  93. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

  94. He who loves his wife loves himself.

  95. So I want to begin this morning by understanding that what the apostle is telling us is that

  96. we, in thinking in our marriage relationships, are to have this mindset that's like Christ's.

  97. And so I want you to think with me this morning about the principle of the one flesh and Christ's

  98. model.

  99. First, I want to stop and make a correction.

  100. You'll notice there that it says that in verse 28, husbands should love their wives as their

  101. own bodies.

  102. He who loves his wife loves himself.

  103. The argument that the apostle is making in verse 28 and 29 is really not in any way a tacit

  104. endorsement of self-serving love.

  105. Biblical love for a wife is not a strategy for you as a husband to get your way.

  106. How many of you understand what I just said?

  107. You do nice things, you get nice things.

  108. That's the thinking of the world, isn't that right?

  109. It's all about what kind of investment am I getting back on my, what kind of return am I

  110. getting back on my investment?

  111. I put this kind of effort in and so I have a right and an expectation to get something

  112. back.

  113. I want you to be sure of this, that the Spirit of God is not endorsing the idea that floats

  114. around in our culture of really all of our motivation ultimately being self-serving and

  115. the purpose for which we do things is really to get back what we want out of anything.

  116. I want you to follow and mark with me that what we're really dealing with here is not a plan

  117. for self-gratification but a plan for modeling our lives as husbands after the example and the

  118. character of Christ.

  119. Well, let's understand, however, that when Paul speaks about one flesh, he is not referring to

  120. a new idea.

  121. I want you to turn back in your Bibles just for a moment, go way back to the front, and

  122. incidentally, if you get it right at the beginning, you have a better chance of getting it right all the

  123. way through.

  124. So go back to Genesis chapter 2.

    Genesis 2 chapter mention

  125. When Paul, in Ephesians chapter 5, verse 28 and 29, speaks about one flesh, he's really

    Ephesians 5:28

  126. drawing attention to the Old Testament statement that is made in Genesis chapter 2, verse 24.

    Genesis 2:24

  127. So let me read it to you.

  128. What's it say?

  129. One flesh.

  130. One flesh.

  131. I want you to understand that biblical love is all about taking care of what God has made part of you.

  132. When a husband takes care of his wife properly, he is taking care of someone that God has put in a unique

  133. relationship with you that is apart and is different from every other person in the world.

  134. I want you to look with me now at Matthew chapter 19.

    Matthew 19 chapter mention

  135. Matthew chapter 19, Jesus was approached by individuals who had some questions and they really hoped that they

    Matthew 19 chapter mention

  136. were going to catch Jesus in a dilemma.

  137. The Jews at that time had two different attitudes on the matter of divorce.

  138. One followed one school of thought and the other followed another school of thought.

  139. And one school was, hey, if you don't like her, trade her out, get somebody else.

  140. And so they came and they were challenging Jesus on the matter of marriage.

  141. And I want you to look at what Jesus says as he is responding.

  142. I like, I like, I like.

  143. Verse 4 to begin with.

  144. They ask him a question.

  145. They think, you know, there they are kind of rubbing their hands like, we have him.

  146. What's he going to say about divorce?

  147. If he takes the conservative view of, don't be doing that.

  148. He's not going to make everybody happy.

  149. And he's not going to be very popular.

  150. And if he says, sure, if you don't like it, bag her.

  151. Get somebody else.

  152. Well, then he's going to be violating.

  153. And they thought they had him.

  154. And I like the way Jesus addresses it.

  155. Look at verse 4.

  156. And he answered, have you not read?

  157. Now, who was he talking to?

  158. He was talking to the Pharisees.

  159. I mean, you know, they were the bells and whistles of education in that day.

  160. I want you to understand that he was talking to the people who had the advanced degrees

  161. and were all over top of it.

  162. And they had a very dismissive people attitude towards those who couldn't read.

  163. You mean, you can't read?

  164. And Jesus is saying, have you not read?

  165. Just to understand how well-versed they were in Scripture,

  166. how many of you notice that when Jesus recites a passage, he doesn't give the reference?

  167. Do you know why he does that?

  168. Here, let me, so that you understand, and you're there partly,

  169. for God so loved the world.

  170. How many of you know the reference?

  171. Wave at me.

  172. You know the reference.

  173. We got that one down, and it's settled in our mind.

  174. Jesus, all they knew, they knew the Bible backwards and forwards,

  175. and yet here he is, he's dinging them.

  176. It is like a backhanded slap to the Pharisees.

  177. Have you never read?

  178. And then he recites it.

  179. He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,

  180. and said, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother

  181. and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

  182. So they are no longer two but one flesh.

  183. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

  184. Great.

  185. You have heard me do weddings, and you know that I get emotional

  186. during weddings.

  187. I do.

  188. The first wedding I ever got emotional at was my own.

  189. Judith walked through the back doors, and I started crying.

  190. And here I was, Mr. Soccer and, you know, All-State player and blah, blah, blah.

  191. And here I was over at the front of the church.

  192. She thought, what have I gotten myself into?

  193. Well, I do want you to know that I followed through

  194. and have been her husband for 40, almost 44 years.

  195. But I am deeply affected by weddings.

  196. I really am.

  197. One of the things that I will say to a couple is that from this moment on,

  198. every thought and action must be weighed against its effect upon the union

  199. the two of you are making.

  200. It's an amazing thing that God takes two

  201. and actually makes them one.

  202. You know, as you think about this,

  203. God did something in your marriage

  204. that you may not have realized.

  205. But the fact of your ignorance of that fact

  206. doesn't change the eternal significance

  207. of the statement and authority of the Word of God.

  208. It says He makes two into one.

  209. And I have pondered this,

  210. though I cannot say that I speak with definitive authority on this,

  211. but I think that in marriage,

  212. there is an aspect to which

  213. the union of the triune God,

  214. Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

  215. in this beautiful union

  216. is modeled to some degree in marriage

  217. and certainly the union between Christ and the church

  218. is modeled in marriage.

  219. I love that statement

  220. and I would encourage you to have it

  221. woven into your heart and life,

  222. what God has joined together.

  223. What? What?

  224. Let no man.

  225. Don't you mess with that one.

  226. Well, let me say two things about this,

  227. going back to the passage in Ephesians in particular.

  228. Loving your wife is rational.

  229. It really is rational.

  230. It's intelligent because your wife

  231. is actually your own flesh and blood

  232. by divine appointment.

  233. It's a proper, intelligent thing to do.

  234. Furthermore, loving your wife is responsible.

  235. It's an obligation that God has placed on you

  236. as a husband in marriage.

  237. If you don't want it, then don't say,

  238. I do.

  239. But once you say, I do, it's done.

  240. God's expectation is that you will follow through

  241. and that you will love the wife

  242. that He has providentially given you.

  243. You know what?

  244. When a man does not love his wife,

  245. his real problem is not his wife.

  246. His real problem is that he has chosen

  247. to not love God and not honor God.

  248. Now, I want you to put your finger, if you will,

  249. going back to Ephesians chapter 5.

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  250. Look at verse 29 and follow with me.

  251. For no one ever hated his flesh,

  252. but nourishes and cherishes it

  253. just as Christ does the church.

  254. Now, the practical thought here is that

  255. only a fool would not love and care for his own body.

  256. And we're not talking about, you know,

  257. Botox and the rest of it,

  258. but we are talking about the fact that

  259. we are reasonable with our own bodies.

  260. When it's cold, what do you do?

  261. I can talk about that right now.

  262. About six months from now,

  263. you'll all be fretting about the fact,

  264. isn't it really hot?

  265. We all talk about weather

  266. like it's the most important thing in life.

  267. You know, it's like,

  268. have you noticed it's snowing?

  269. Yes.

  270. Six months?

  271. It'll be dry.

  272. It'll be hot.

  273. And we'll all be whining about the fact,

  274. what is a thermometer, a temperature?

  275. Ooh, you know, and go on about that.

  276. But let me tell you something.

  277. We take care of our bodies, right?

  278. We do take care of our bodies.

  279. We put on more clothes or less clothes.

  280. We care for when you're hungry, what do you do?

  281. You feed yourself.

  282. By the way, the body you have

  283. is the body God gave you,

  284. and it's the only one you'll ever have.

  285. Am I right?

  286. You can't have a substitute.

  287. You can't have a replacement.

  288. And at the end of the day,

  289. you're pretty well stuck with the one you got.

  290. Now, you may find yourself on occasion

  291. wishing that God had done something better with you.

  292. Oh, Lord, I wish I had been Bill Gates,

  293. at least had his brain, right?

  294. Or, oh, Lord, I would have liked to have been built like LeBron James

  295. and have his basketball skills.

  296. Or, you know, I really would like to have the physique

  297. and the abilities of a Navy SEAL.

  298. Forget it.

  299. You are who you are.

  300. God chose that one.

  301. And you best stay with the one you got.

  302. There's no change.

  303. Aren't you glad that Christ loves you the way He does?

  304. I'm so glad,

  305. because He's never trundled into His Father's presence

  306. and said anything like,

  307. boy, do you know that Tim you gave me?

  308. Could I trade him in?

  309. Is there anybody out there that would be a little kinder,

  310. a little nicer,

  311. a little less, you know,

  312. He's such a project.

  313. 65 years and I'm still having to work with Him.

  314. And you know what?

  315. Father, He still does some of the same things He did when He was a kid.

  316. He loves me.

  317. By the way, Seth, where are you?

  318. That is a good song.

  319. I like the words.

  320. By the way, I like Seth and Joy singing,

  321. but I like the words.

  322. It's all about,

  323. what's that saying about the God we serve?

  324. He's faithful in His love.

  325. Don't you like that?

  326. Never changes.

  327. And so when a Christian husband stands in the shadow of the cross,

  328. he loves his wife

  329. because she is His by divine plan.

  330. And God says,

  331. she is His own body.

  332. And so,

  333. I don't know if you have to do it right now,

  334. but it wouldn't be bad to nudge her.

  335. My Judas is way back there.

  336. Hi, honey.

  337. But you know,

  338. you nudge her and say,

  339. honey,

  340. you're mine.

  341. I mean to tell you,

  342. you're it.

  343. You're my body.

  344. Woo!

  345. I like that.

  346. Lots of thinking there going on,

  347. but you know,

  348. just stay with the plan.

  349. Okay?

  350. Maybe we have to have man-to-man talk about that a little while later.

  351. So,

  352. let's think now,

  353. we got this business of,

  354. it's one flesh.

  355. This is my body.

  356. I want to think about practical one flesh service.

  357. How does this play out?

  358. I want you to understand that the Bible has a number of different things that we can think about.

  359. For one,

  360. husbands are called to provide for their wife.

  361. Let me say that slowly,

  362. because we are living in a day and age where the idea of providing for your wife is kind of like slipping into the distant past.

  363. you know,

  364. it's what,

  365. hey,

  366. you know,

  367. we're all into this on our own,

  368. and you better carry your own weight.

  369. And if you don't,

  370. you're in trouble.

  371. Genesis chapter 3 makes it clear that sin didn't change a man's service regarding being the principal provider of the home.

    Genesis 3 chapter mention

  372. How do I know that?

  373. God says to a woman,

  374. hey,

  375. part of the consequences of your disobedience to me is that you're going to struggle with your husband's spiritual leadership and headship.

  376. It's not just a problem of contemporary culture.

  377. It is the result of the fall.

  378. God also said,

  379. and by the way,

  380. you're going to suffer during childbearing.

  381. And there are more than one of you women who have said as you are sitting there going,

  382. you know,

  383. you said,

  384. Eve,

  385. what did you do?

  386. You know,

  387. you understand that.

  388. And God says to Adam,

  389. and by the way,

  390. while you're out there working in the field,

  391. it's not going to be quite as cooperative as it could have been.

  392. And you,

  393. in your provision,

  394. are going to face all those kind of difficulties that day by day,

  395. as you go off to work,

  396. you know what?

  397. You find out that the people that you work with,

  398. they're a challenge.

  399. And the place that you work,

  400. it's questionable.

  401. You know,

  402. it's just part of the fall.

  403. But,

  404. husbands,

  405. I want you to understand,

  406. providing is your responsibility.

  407. Let me say something else in relationship to this.

  408. Providing does not mean indulging every whim.

  409. Do you follow that?

  410. I remember being in a home quite some time ago,

  411. so some of you are beginning to,

  412. I don't think I've been in your home and seen,

  413. but I remember a home that had one case after another

  414. that were filled with precious moments.

  415. The house had become a monument to this wife's interest in precious moments.

  416. Now,

  417. I think we're past that in our contemporary culture.

  418. I don't see much out on Facebook,

  419. but there was not hardly a room in the house that didn't have these precious moment trophies.

  420. and by the way,

  421. do you realize that they're kind of passe now?

  422. They're gone.

  423. They're gone.

  424. And you walked into one room,

  425. there are two or three display cases.

  426. You walked into another room,

  427. there are display cases.

  428. You walked into,

  429. you know,

  430. everywhere you turn.

  431. And I thought to myself,

  432. this poor working guy is out there just slogging his brains out

  433. so his wife can buy another precious moments.

  434. I want to say this real carefully,

  435. and I want husbands to write it down.

  436. Sometimes the real need is contentment,

  437. not more possessions.

  438. And a godly husband should love his wife enough to help her with that.

  439. Husbands are called to protect their wives.

  440. Physical protection is intuitively obvious.

  441. Do you follow that?

  442. Judith and I,

  443. we sleep in the same bedroom,

  444. we sleep in the same bed.

  445. And there are times where she hears things that I don't.

  446. And to this point,

  447. 44 some years almost of marriage,

  448. she's never said,

  449. let me check on that.

  450. That's not the way it happens in our home.

  451. I mean,

  452. now she may alert me to the fact,

  453. did you hear that?

  454. No,

  455. no,

  456. I didn't.

  457. I did hear it,

  458. you know.

  459. But it's like,

  460. I'm hoping it'll pass.

  461. You know,

  462. there's a reason why God made you stronger.

  463. But I want to talk about the fact that our caring for our wife

  464. is not just a matter of physical protection,

  465. but it's also spiritual protection.

  466. We live in a wicked and perverse world.

  467. And a husband is responsible for knowing

  468. what the spiritual needs of his wife are

  469. and being sensitive to those things that are going to cause her to fall.

  470. Don't allow her to get overburdened.

  471. Over the years as a pastor,

  472. I can't tell you how many times I've said to hardworking ladies in our church,

  473. be sure you ask your husband what he thinks about you being involved in this.

  474. The easiest thing to do is to see a problem and decide that you need to solve this one,

  475. and this one,

  476. and this one,

  477. and this one,

  478. and pretty soon you get all kind of worn out.

  479. And guess what follows being worn out?

  480. Getting spiritually drained and then eventually getting embittered because,

  481. you know what?

  482. Nobody else is doing it.

  483. You feel like Chicken Little.

  484. Red hen is what I meant.

  485. Don't allow your wife to neglect the care of her own spiritual soul.

  486. You know,

  487. now I'm not suggesting that you grab your wife's wrist and drag her out of bed

  488. when you get up earlier than she does

  489. and take her into the living room and sit her down and say,

  490. you will have devotions this evening or this morning,

  491. and I want you to read three chapters,

  492. and here's a prayer list that I want you to work on.

  493. Not a good idea.

  494. Got it?

  495. Can I tell you something from experience?

  496. Experience?

  497. I've learned that modeling is far more effective than instructing.

  498. And Judith and I,

  499. we pray together,

  500. we share things that God is teaching us together,

  501. but in an earlier life,

  502. how many of you understand what I'm talking about?

  503. That's not,

  504. you know,

  505. whatever you think.

  506. It's at an earlier life,

  507. I thought it was my job to give her these instructions like,

  508. you will have devotions.

  509. What chapter did you read?

  510. I found that there was a much softer and gentler way to do it.

  511. But I'm responsible.

  512. Do you understand that?

  513. Don't allow your wife to spend all of her time

  514. just gazing at what she could conceivably buy on the internet

  515. if you were having a better job.

  516. Do you understand?

  517. Kill the Wi-Fi

  518. so that her discontentment is not breached.

  519. Oh,

  520. boy,

  521. am I getting myself in trouble?

  522. There we go.

  523. Okay.

  524. And how many,

  525. I won't ask this.

  526. When I go to doctor's office,

  527. there's one magazine in particular I don't pick up.

  528. Do you know what that is?

  529. It's called People Magazine.

  530. Do you know why I don't look at People Magazine?

  531. A couple reasons.

  532. Number one,

  533. I don't need to see all the scantily dressed women

  534. who are flashing what the current style is.

  535. That's not of God.

  536. Nor do I need to read all about the bad marriages

  537. and who happens to be sleeping with so-and-so currently

  538. and who she was.

  539. That's not of God.

  540. Here's another one.

  541. Don't allow your children to be disrespectful to your wife.

  542. I like the phrase,

  543. you will not talk to my wife that way.

  544. It's not about your mom.

  545. It's about my wife.

  546. Do you follow that?

  547. You will not talk to my wife that way.

  548. Okay.

  549. Let's keep moving quickly.

  550. Snow's coming down.

  551. We got guys out there taking care of it.

  552. I am so thankful.

  553. By the way,

  554. you don't have to tip them,

  555. but do tell them thank you.

  556. Will you do that?

  557. Okay.

  558. Husbands are called to pray for their wife.

  559. Your wife should know

  560. that she occupies an affectionate part

  561. of your daily prayer life.

  562. Honestly.

  563. We pray for those people that we dearly love.

  564. Am I right or wrong?

  565. No.

  566. Many of you here are parents.

  567. I see you guys smiling,

  568. Pat and Pam,

  569. your little grandson, right?

  570. Have you been praying a lot for him lately?

  571. I mean,

  572. I'm seeing Facebook posts all the time.

  573. It's like,

  574. you know what?

  575. When we love somebody,

  576. we pray a lot.

  577. And I'm suggesting

  578. that your responsibility,

  579. husband,

  580. is to be conscious and deliberate

  581. in praying for your wife.

  582. Now,

  583. by the way,

  584. praying for her

  585. requires that you love her

  586. and that you know

  587. what her needs are.

  588. And if your communications with her

  589. are kind of limited to grunts,

  590. she doesn't have any opportunity

  591. of really letting you know

  592. what's going on.

  593. Honey,

  594. what concerns you?

  595. By the way,

  596. if you take enough time,

  597. you will figure that one out.

  598. Ask her for specifics.

  599. What are some things I can pray for?

  600. Oh, nothing.

  601. Do you know when she says,

  602. oh, nothing,

  603. what it's saying?

  604. Probably.

  605. It's saying,

  606. I don't know that you'll do it,

  607. so why mess with it?

  608. Or,

  609. it could be saying,

  610. I'm really having a big time struggling.

  611. I don't want to embarrass myself

  612. by telling you

  613. what a jerk I am spiritually.

  614. What's going on?

  615. I learned a long time ago

  616. as a parent

  617. that whenever my children said nothing,

  618. it was radar up,

  619. big time signal,

  620. it's time to go

  621. on a fishing expedition.

  622. And my kids usually

  623. would stick with the nothing

  624. because they thought

  625. that was going to work.

  626. And I would,

  627. my trump was this,

  628. it's all right.

  629. I'm going to start praying

  630. that God will bring it out

  631. so I can be a daddy to you.

  632. You know,

  633. they did not like that prayer

  634. because God did.

  635. Okay?

  636. So you're praying for your wife.

  637. And if you're going to pray for her,

  638. guess what you ought to do?

  639. You ought to let her know,

  640. hey, how'd it go?

  641. How was grocery shopping today

  642. with, you know,

  643. the little boy

  644. that I helped you have?

  645. You know?

  646. Was he really cooperative?

  647. Okay.

  648. Okay, here we go.

  649. Husbands are called

  650. to nurture,

  651. listen to this carefully,

  652. the purity of their wife.

  653. Husbands are called

  654. to nurture

  655. the purity of their wife.

  656. We live in a perverse

  657. and wicked world

  658. that is not a friend of grace.

  659. You don't need to be

  660. the Ayatollah of the TV

  661. or of Facebook,

  662. but it does pay attention.

  663. It's a good thing

  664. to pay attention

  665. to what's floating around.

  666. Finally,

  667. husbands are responsible

  668. for their wife's

  669. spiritual progress.

  670. I want you to hear this carefully.

  671. The most difficult thing

  672. that a husband has to do

  673. is not provide physically

  674. for his wife.

  675. It is to be the spiritual leader

  676. of his wife

  677. because you know what it takes

  678. to do that?

  679. It takes, first of all,

  680. being out in front of her.

  681. Isn't that true?

  682. It also takes you

  683. taking care of the things

  684. in your life

  685. that are interfering

  686. with you being effective

  687. in her life.

  688. Matthew chapter 7

    Matthew 7 chapter mention

  689. says this,

  690. hey,

  691. if you're going to be poking

  692. in somebody else's eye,

  693. guess what you've got

  694. to be clear on?

  695. You've got to be clear

  696. on your own eye.

  697. And I want you

  698. to understand

  699. that the Scripture

  700. is explicitly clear

  701. that the husband

  702. is the one

  703. that is to be

  704. the spiritual leader

  705. and the spiritual encourager

  706. of his wife.

  707. Now, here's the truth, men.

  708. Face it.

  709. Most of the wives

  710. we married

  711. got a head start.

  712. Do you follow that?

  713. That doesn't change

  714. the fact

  715. that you're still responsible.

  716. And so,

  717. with humility,

  718. there's nothing wrong

  719. with saying,

  720. I'm out in front

  721. and I may have to ask

  722. a lot of questions

  723. of God and His Word

  724. and other godly men,

  725. but I'm out in front.

  726. That's my job.

  727. So,

  728. can you say

  729. that your dear wife

  730. today is more godly,

  731. more content,

  732. more settled,

  733. more generous,

  734. more patient

  735. because of your spiritual

  736. encouragement and leadership?

  737. Fair question,

  738. isn't it?

  739. The Spirit of God,

  740. the Word of God,

  741. the Husband of God

  742. should be instruments

  743. to help a wife

  744. grow spiritually.

  745. And all of God's people

  746. said a non-Caucasian,

  747. I like that,

  748. we're so free

  749. from Byron Yon,

  750. a non-Caucasian amen.

  751. Amen.

  752. Okay.

  753. Oh,

  754. that's surprising.

  755. Could we play that back?

  756. I just want to be sure

  757. that I heard what I did.

  758. Okay,

  759. here we go.

  760. Can you say

  761. that your dear wife

  762. is more godly,

  763. more content,

  764. more settled,

  765. more generous,

  766. more patient

  767. because of your

  768. spiritual encouragement

  769. and your leadership?

  770. Can you point

  771. to a time

  772. in your marriage

  773. where you helped her

  774. deal with a festering attitude

  775. or some resentments

  776. that were actually

  777. leading her

  778. to withdraw

  779. from ministry

  780. and service?

  781. Hey,

  782. men just kind of

  783. putt,

  784. putt,

  785. putt through life.

  786. You know what?

  787. I'm here.

  788. I'm going to work.

  789. It's good.

  790. It's all good.

  791. I'm getting along.

  792. It's like no big deal.

  793. And the wife is in there.

  794. She's affected by emotions

  795. and dynamics.

  796. And you know what?

  797. I can't tell you

  798. how many times

  799. I've watched wives

  800. begin to develop

  801. inner resentments

  802. about things

  803. and slowly begin.

  804. You know what the signal is?

  805. Drawn away.

  806. Can you think of ways

  807. in which you have

  808. shaped her thinking

  809. about Christ

  810. and the kingdom?

  811. Has her discernment

  812. and wisdom

  813. increased over the years

  814. because of your influence

  815. and your ministry?

  816. Does she know

  817. you really believe in her

  818. and take pleasure

  819. in her growth

  820. and value,

  821. let me say this

  822. carefully and slowly

  823. and I want you

  824. to listen to it, men,

  825. and value her progress

  826. as one of the true

  827. accomplishments

  828. in your life?

  829. Hmm?

  830. So what did you do, Tim?

  831. That was really important.

  832. Well, one of the things

  833. I did is I worked hard

  834. after God really dealt

  835. with me

  836. at being a better husband

  837. and I'm continuing

  838. to grow at that

  839. and I'm working hard

  840. at being a good daddy.

  841. I have a dear friend

  842. who,

  843. guys,

  844. let me tell you something,

  845. it's snowing out there

  846. and I have a couple

  847. things to say

  848. so just bear with me

  849. and nobody say to me

  850. you stayed too long.

  851. I had a dear friend

  852. that I called

  853. Thursday,

  854. Friday.

  855. No, it's Thursday.

  856. He's out of ministry today

  857. and when I got on the phone

  858. with this man

  859. that I've known

  860. for a number of years,

  861. good godly man,

  862. he said to me,

  863. he says,

  864. you know, Tim,

  865. I found myself

  866. at the same kind

  867. of emotional place

  868. that you must have been

  869. at when Maranatha

  870. gave you a sabbatical.

  871. That was one of the

  872. kindest things

  873. you did to me,

  874. men,

  875. people.

  876. You let me have

  877. an opportunity

  878. to get my battery

  879. back up

  880. and this pastor said,

  881. we couldn't work

  882. that out

  883. and my doctor said,

  884. you either do it,

  885. get out of this

  886. or you're going to die.

  887. He said,

  888. and I chose

  889. to be a husband

  890. and a father

  891. instead of a pastor.

  892. That's a right call.

  893. Do you understand that?

  894. That's a right call.

  895. When it's all over,

  896. being the man

  897. God wants you to be

  898. means being

  899. the spiritual leader

  900. in your home.

  901. Amen.

  902. And facing

  903. that challenge

  904. has to have

  905. a profound effect

  906. upon a man

  907. because like

  908. the apostle said

  909. when he was thinking

  910. about the significance

  911. of the gospel,

  912. here's what he said,

  913. who is sufficient

  914. for this?

  915. I want to talk

  916. about sufficiency

  917. as I close.

  918. The man

  919. who has not

  920. come to Christ

  921. this morning

  922. who is sitting here

  923. listening to the teaching

  924. of the word of God

  925. about the responsibility

  926. of being a true man

  927. has no hope

  928. and no remedy

  929. apart from the cross

  930. of Christ

  931. because here's the deal.

  932. We,

  933. by our nature,

  934. are perverted,

  935. wicked sinners

  936. who are only

  937. all about

  938. our self.

  939. And the gospel

  940. announced

  941. that we stand

  942. justly condemned

  943. before God.

  944. And God sent

  945. his son,

  946. the Lord Jesus Christ,

  947. to be the penalty

  948. and to pay

  949. for our sins

  950. that we

  951. who are broken

  952. in our rebellion

  953. against God

  954. may find complete

  955. forgiveness

  956. because Jesus

  957. died in our place.

  958. And if you're here

  959. and do not know Christ,

  960. the thing you need

  961. more than anything else

  962. is not further coaching

  963. on how to be a better husband.

  964. You need Jesus.

  965. If you are here

  966. as a man

  967. who knows Christ,

  968. there is no way

  969. you can grow

  970. without humility

  971. and brokenness.

  972. Hey,

  973. I need help.

  974. I need God's help.

  975. I need the help

  976. of men of God.

  977. I need encouragement

  978. and I am willing

  979. to humble myself

  980. enough to say

  981. I've got a mess

  982. and I need God

  983. to help me change it.

  984. Here's what I know.

  985. Men

  986. who are unwilling

  987. to humble themselves

  988. are at odds

  989. with a God

  990. who will reveal

  991. their stupid pride.

  992. I know that

  993. by personal experience.

  994. And I know

  995. that when God

  996. gets a hold of you,

  997. it's good

  998. on the other side.

  999. Do you follow that?

  1000. Let's close in prayer.

  1001. Let's close in prayer.